Willow scrutinized herself in the mirror one last time... and sighed.
Throughout the night she had been thinking "Why am I doing this to
myself?"  First it was Xander.... and now this... this MAN.  This
incredibly unattainable man.  She could scarcely stop herself from
being downright rude to him when she had first met him that night.
She could see from his expression that he was already enamored with
Buffy.

She sighed.  *Everyone* was enamored with Buffy.  She remembered
catching glimpses of him here and there.  She remembered the exact
moment that she fell for him.  That she fell HARD for him....
literally.  Instead of watching the path one night, she had been
watching him... and instead of placing one foot in front of the
other, she had caught her foot in the root of a tree and tripped.
Very impressive, Angel would have fallen for her right then and
there!
 

She sighed again.  "I wonder if he even knows who I am," she thought
to herself as she peeked at him and Buffy dancing through the
bathroom door.  She turned 20 degrees right and saw Xander...
watching
them.. Buffy with longing, Angel with jealousy.  She had to stiffle
the giggle that threatened to course through her as Xander proceeded
to gag and choke on whatever the hell he had decided to trash compact
in his mouth that night.

With a bright smile on her face, she exited the bathroom.  She stood
tall and proud.  She was a pretty girl!  She could get a guy!  Angel
and Buffy stumbled into her unknowingly and walked out of the Bronze
together.

"Yeah I can get a guy," she muttered to herself.  "Just not Angel,"
she murmured as she watched Buffy walk off with the man of her
dreams.
 

Part 2

Willow sighed as she looked at Xander.  With a sad smile, she
journeyed her way over to her best friend, "How's it going,
Xander?"  Her question was met with silence. Moving around to face
him, realization hit her.  He was just as heartbroken as she.  Man,
was truth a bitch.

With a sigh, she decided that she had done enough moping for the
evening.  Carefully placing a smile on her face, she playfully
pinched her best friend on the arm.  "Hello?"  she asked as she
tapped his head.  "Ow!" came the long awaited reply.  "Anyone home?"
she smiled, as a grin grew on the boy's face.

But the joy was short-lived.  Following the smile came a sad sad
sigh. Willow hugged him.  "What was that for, Wills?"  he asked in
surprise.  Willow just smiled at him.

"We should go," she said suddenly; looking at her watch, she realized
how late it had gotten.  And vampires didn't exactly go "eek!" and
run at the coming darkness.

So the two got up...  And they left, both with their heads in the
clouds.
 

Part 3

Willow sighed as she opened the door to her bedroom and flopped down
on the bed.  The only thing she was thankful for at that moment was
that her parents weren't home to question her whereabouts for the
past few hours.

She smiled at the memory of taking Xander home.  Argh... taking
Xander home.

Putting him to sleep was like putting down a baby.  "Mommy, tuck me
in."  "Mommy, I need water."   He was a bit whiny,… but
incredibly adorable all the same.  Her eyes shone brightly as the
memory of tucking Xander in triggered an even older memory.. a more
special one.

The first day she met him.  She had scraped her knee at the
playground.. and was trying her very hardest not to cry.  Cause mommy
and daddy wouldn't like that.  Besides, she was a big girl and cuts
did not hurt her.  But there it was, that one little tear.. ready to
fall.

Until she saw him.  She didn't know exactly *what* he was doing...
but whatever it was.. it did make her laugh.  Made that little tear
retreat like a scared dog, wagging it's tale all the way home.  And
all of a sudden! That little boy came up to her.  "Don't cry,"  he
said sweetly.  And then...

"Let's be friends."

And that was all that was needed to seal that friendship forever. To
seal her love for him eternally.

It really was ironic.  Her best friend Xander, whom she *had* been in
love with for what seemed like forever… was in love with Buffy.
Not exactly an ideal situation, but… she had moved on...somewhat,
to
Angel.  Who was also in love with Buffy.  "This sucks,"  Willow
muttered in blatant understatement.   Looking around her room, her
eyes found her one refuge.  The computer.

Yes, her laptop.  It was the one thing that would never fail her,
never desert her, … never fall in love with Buffy instead of her.

Twisted logic, yes.. but Willow logic.

Ahh, and the internet.  The internet was her best friend.  Never had
a problem logging on, and never got disconnected because of some
stupid computer fatal error.

Nothing at all like her love life.

The computer screen was often a mirror to her life.  It reflected her
interests, her talents, her desires, her fears…..  Looking at the
monitor….. she could see herself.  Arghhh… She could see
tears..  tears that were threatening to fall.

"Why?"  she asked to no one in particular.  "I'm an interesting
person!"  she tried saying cheerily…  "I'm Willow.  I was named
after a tree.  And I like computers, gosh darnit!"

"But no one will ever love you,"  that mean, ugly voice, that was
worse than anything Cordelia could say, came out to play.

Willow proceeded to break down.

She was just so confused.  She had no idea how to feel anymore.

....And that's when she heard the tap at her window.
 

Part 4

Willow's head shot up as she heard two taps from he window, her
eyes streaked with panic.  Xander couldn't see her like this!
She forcefully dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her red flannel
pajamas.  She opted for NOT looking at herself as she passed her
mirror on the way to the window.  Again came two soft taps.

Willow stopped.

Xander never tapped.  And certainly, never softly.  And didn't
she put him to bed just an hour ago?  Willow shook her head.  No.  It
couldn't be Xander.  "But if it's not Xander, then who is
it?"  she asked herself before peering through the window, more out of
curiosity than fear.

"Where'd he go?"  she wondered aloud, as she opened the window
and looked out.  After a few seconds of nothing, she stuck her head
back in.

"Willow!"  came an urgent voice.  Recognition flashed in the
redhead's emerald eyes.

"Please,"  the voice pleaded.

"Oh my God, you're hurt, get in here, now!!"  Willow screeched in
panic.   She could see pain.. severe pain reflected in those sad
brown eyes.

She held her ground as she helped her friend to her bed.  She saw the
blood portruding from his chest... the mask threatening to unfold.
She wasn't scared of him... she knew about him... *kinda*.  But
curiosity was being a bitc*a*, and she was just another cat. So she
spoke.

"Angel?"  she asked softly, not wanting to be intrusive.. but needing
to know Buffy was alright. "She's fine," came the cryptic response.
"Do you need anything?"  Willow asked, now willing to drop the
subject knowing her best friend was alright.

There was no response.

"Angel?"  Willow gently peered over his shoulder.  The vampire had
fallen alseep.  Either that, or he had passed out from exhaustion.
Willow sighed and picked up the phone.

"Buffy?"  Willow asked nervously.  She hated to wake her friend, but
she was worried.  "Wills?"  came the muffled reply.  "Angel is hurt,
and I, well I don't know what to do,"  Willow said worriedly.

"Angel?"  Buffy's head shot up in awareness.  "What happened,
Willow?" she asked sharply.  "I don't know!  He just showed up at my
window bleeding and I didn't know what else I could do but invite him
in!"  she said hysterically.

Buffy sighed.  "Ok ok, calm down, Willow,"  she reassured her friend.
"Mom will have a fit if I leave, now, so call Giles and tell him
what happened, ok?"  Willow could hear Buffy arguing with her mother,
followed by the click of the phone.

She sighed again.

"Giles?"  she asked uncertainly.  "It's Willow."
 

Part 5

"Giles, it's me,"  Willow said guiltily.  "Willow, what on
earth…?"  he questioned in a groggy voice.  "Um…"  Willow
didn't know what to say.  "Giles, help me the man of my dreams
might be dying in my bed!"

No, now that wouldn't be efficient.

Luckily, Giles coughed.. triggering Willow's yapper.  "Giles,
it's Angel, he's… he's hurt, and I have no idea what
to do," she stammered nervously.  "What happened, Willow?" Giles
asked in immediate concern; Angel… this was the mysterious young
man
who had helped his slayer numerous times.  To have him die would be
consequential… in a bad BAD way.

"I don't know, Giles!!!"  Willow shrieked rather impatiently.
She sighed, realizing that he would need an explanation.  "Giles, I
didn't have time to ask him anything, he kinda just… fell
asleep on my bed… either that or he's passed out, but I
can't tell cause he's a vampire… and ya know, he
doesn't breathe… so no pulse...and umm..."

Willow was rambling.  And Giles' silence wasn't helping matters.

She stomped her foot impatiently.  "Giles, tell me what to do,
please!!!"  Giles sighed.  "Oh I don't know, Willow, why
don't you try waking him up!"  he suggested rather brashly.  "But
what if he's dead and he doesn't wake up!"  Willow panicked.
"Oh God, what if he's alive but almost dead and me trying to wake
him up kills him??!!"

It's safe to say she was freaking out at this point.

"Good Lord, Willow, he's a vampire, not a hamster!"   Giles said
as patiently as his tired voice would allow.  "Wake him up, find what
he needs, and then give it to him,"  he said firmly.  "You're a
big girl, I know you can handle it, now go and do what I told you."

With that, Giles hung up.  Leaving a nearly hysterical Willow.

"Calm down, Rosenburg,"  Willow chanted as she began to slow her
breathing in an attempt to slow her rapid heartbeat.  She looked at
Angel and realized he needed some kind of assistance.  She kept that
image in her head… willing herself to calm down.

"Alright,"  she breathed out a few minutes later.  She walked over to
her bed,  placing a gentle hand on the vampire's back.  She
grimaced when she realized the remains of some ugly slashes.
"Angel?" she spoke softly.

There was no response.

"Angel, please wake up,"  Willow silently pleaded as she began to
nudge him as gently as possible.  After a few more minutes, she
realized that it wasn't working.  With a sigh, and a resolved
look on her face… she ran downstairs to the kitchen and came back
up within seconds..

With a glass of ice cold water.  She took a deep breath… oh God,
she hoped this would work.  "1,2…"  she chanted… And with the
3, she threw that water on the still vampire's face with no
regrets…

Because it worked.
 

Part 6

Angel's body shot up, his vampiric senses taking control.  Willow
shrieked in alarm.  "Angel, please, please… just calm down,
it's me… Willow?"  she tried to reassure him as best she
could.  She dodged the possibly lethal fangs to place a calming hand
on his face.

With courage, she put her other hand to his face, gently forcing him
to look her in the eye.   She delicately brought his face down to be
level with hers.

"You're safe here,"  she said softly but firmly.   She closed her
eyes, said a quick prayer, and embraced him.  "Please calm down,
Angel,"   she implored.  "I can only help you if you calm down,"  she
whispered gently, hoping that in his nearly unconscious and
`fanged' state, he could understand what she was saying.  She
sighed
in relief.

She could feel his game face fading.  "Thank you, God,"  she silently
sent thanks.  She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

Emerald met with Chocolate.

There was an understanding between his predatory eyes and her
innocent.  There was a connection.

But only for a moment.

"Willow?"  Angel asked in confusion… he hoped he had gotten her
name right.  "Yeah, that's me,"  Willow said in relief… her
voice already taking on it's usual cheery note.  She was just so
glad he seemed OK.

Willow grabbed Angel's hand and gently urged him to sit back down
on her bed.

"Where are you hurt, Angel?"  she asked patiently.  Angel looked at
her slightly doubtful.  Willow sighed.  "Look, I don't want you
to die,"  she said seriously.  He saw strength behind that truth she
spoke.  And so he relented.

"Here,"  He said, taking off his jacket and getting out his sweater.
Well.. he tried getting out of his sweater.   Willow noticed him
wince in his attempt.  "Let me help,"  she said softly, more to
herself than to Angel himself.  She gently helped him out of his
sweater, left sleeve, right sleeve… finally ...up... over... the
head.
 

Oh my, what a sight.

"Calm down, Rosenburg,"  Willow murmured to herself… murmured to
herself so softly that human ears wouldn't be able to hear.

"Oh God,"  she winced as she saw the severe wound on the side of his
upper back.  Angel noticed, "It'll heal with time."  Willow just
kept staring.  She had never seen anything so bad.  Angel realized
that the girl had no idea what she was doing.

With a sigh, he awoke her from her daze.  "Willow, first aide kit?"
he asked rather pleasantly.  That did the trick; the redhead quickly
snapped out of her shock and jumped up.  "I'll go… get it!"
she told him as she bolted out of her room and to the bathroom.

She came back with a fretful look on her face.  "Angel, I don't
know how to do this, but can you help me help you, cause I don't
want you doing this by yourself because I think it would hurt… and
well, you're kinda already hurting, so yeah…"  she
rambled… turning red in the face as she realized she was
rambling.

The beginnings of a smile began to play at the injured vampire's
lips.

"What?"  Willow asked worriedly.  "Did I hurt you?"  she asked in a
panic.  Sure she had sat on the bed with the first aide kit, but how
could that hurt him?!?!?!

The vampire's mouth twitched.  He hadn't smiled… really
smiled.. smiled a real smile… in a very long time.  And here this
little girl… who he'd only known a day…..  this kid made
him want to
smile.

Angel grinned.
 

Part 7

Willow looked up... to see Angel.. smiling!  ANGEL!  Angel was
smiling!!  "Wow, I made Angel smile?"  she thought to herself, a
slight smile growing on her face as well.  "This is so cool!"  she
thought to herself, finally taking in the whole "the vampire I like
is in my bedroom" situation.

Angel noticed her fall of sorts from the real world.  "Willow, help?"
he asked rather helplessly.  "Oh.. sorry,"  she muttered, rather
upset to be thrown back into reality where Angel was in her room
because he was hurt, not because he wanted to be there.

She began fiddling with the band aides and the gauze, not really sure
what to do.  She found some ointment and decided it would be alright
to apply it to the vampire.

"Hmph..."  Angel swallowed a gasp at the stinging sensation of the
ointment.  He hated that stuff. Only way to know it was working was
to feel the pain.  Just like his soul.  Sometimes the only time he
knew it was there was because of the guilt he felt over his past. But
then, that's how it was when he was human, as well.  Except when he
was human, he never thought about his soul.

"Hey, stop brooding,"  Willow said as she noticed the contemplative
look on her face.  When Angel just looked at her blankly, she held up
the cottonball full of ointmenty sting'iness' as a threat.  And he
did it again.

He smiled.

Willow smiled, too.  She was feeling elated.  Pure happiness.  "Hey,
the bleeding stopped!"  she said happily, clapping her hands.
"That's always good,"  the vampire said stoicly.

"Alright, stand up,"  Willow ordered.  The vampire obeyed.  "Kay,
here's what I'm going to do.."  she explained as she began to walk in
circles around the vampire trying to wrap the gauze around him.

It wasn't working.

Willow paused and frowned.  "Hmm...."  she pondered as she looked at
the gash on the vampire.  "Alright, let me try something else,"  she
said more to herself than to him.  Angel had no arguments.

The redhead grabbed more gauze.  This time she wrapped it around the
vampire's broad shoulderblade and across his chest.. coming back
around to his shoulderblade.  Willow smiled in satisfation as she
finished and fastened the rather big gauzy bandaide.

"Done!"  she prounounced proudly.  Angel sighed in relief.  He was
glad she didn't notice the blood at the top of his head.  He didn't
think he could handle the stinging stuff over there.  He just sat
there, hoping she wouldn't notice.

But she did.
 

Part 8

"ANGEL!!!!" Willow shrieked.  "Why didn't you show me this one
first!!"  she yelled angrily.  "Um..."  Angel didn't know what to
say. Willow growled.  "This way,"  she said, pushing him towards her
bathroom.

She was no longer gentle.

"Bend down,"  she ordered.  He complied.  She grabbed his head and
made him put his head in the tub.  She then grabbed the shower head
and yanked it towards her body.

Angel noticed that Willow was a tad bit mad.

She quickly tested the water and then aimed for Angel's head.  She
delicately washed away the blood, not wanting to hurt him, despite
the fact that he was a dumb vampire trying to hide the most serious
injury. "Dumb vampire,"  she grumbled as she turned off the water and
dabbed at his head with a towel.

Angel winced... because of the slight pain.. because of her reference
to him as a dumb vampire... who knows why?

Willow grabbed him and lead him back to her room.  "Sit,"  she
ordered, pointing to the base of the bed.  She then sat on top of her
bed and grabbed the dreaded ointment.

Oh well, Angel deserved it.

The redhead then grabbed some gauze and taped it onto his hair,
hoping it would work.  The bleeding had already stopped, so he should
be fine.

At least, she hoped so.

Willow examined Angel's body.

"Oh look! I see cuts!!"  she sang gleefully.  She grabbed his
fingers, showering them with ointment and band aides.

Angel winced.
 

Part 9

"There, all done,"  Willow said gleefully.  "Thank God,"  Angel
thought to himself.  Willow laughed at his expression.

And then there was silence.

Willow fidgeted with the ointment.  Angel stared at the ceiling.  And
then the silence was broken.

"Uh-oh!"  Willow peeped, taking a closer look at the label of the
ointment.  "Urgh?"  was Angel's response.  Willow looked at him
guiltily.

"There's peroxide in this,"  she explained, moving closer to him to
examine his hair.  "But I mean there's not that much, so it shouldn't
do anything, I don't think.. or at least, I hope it doesn't do
anything,"  she explained further.

Angel didn't say anything.

"But if you think about it, having a yellow patch of hair would be
really funny," she laughed nervously.  Why wasn't he saying
anything?! He had absolutely no reaction.  Either he didn't care at
all, or he did... She really really hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Angel?" Willow dreaded asking, but she had to.  "Are you mad at me,
now?"

Angel didn't respond.

"ANGEL!!!"  Willow whined. (She was really tired, here)

"I've always wanted blonde hair," he said thoughtfully, not really
paying attention to the panicked girl near him.  Willow's mouth
dropped open in the perfect O shape.  "Dumb vampire,"  she mumbled.

There was silence again.

Angel noticed the change in atmosphere.  He could sense the sun
coming up.  He looked at Willow.  There was no way he could make it
back to his place in time.

Willow got up and started closing the blinds.  She carelessly threw a
blanket on top of him.  "Here you can hide under this,"  she said
with a tired grin on her face.

Angel looked at her. "I'm going to sleep,"  she said tiredly, heading
downstairs.

"Night, Angel."

"Night, Willow."
 

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