"I figure we have twenty minutes tops to be packed and out of here." Willow followed Cordelia into the house and up the stairs. "We can try to swing by your house..."

"No, I have some stuff here, and I really don't want to tempt fate." The two girls split up going to separate bedrooms to start shoving their clothes into bags. Willow could feel her blood pumping through her veins, as she hurried around the room. She had no idea where they were going, but in an odd way it felt good to have someone else deciding for her. After the last couple of months of keeping her secret, she was just too worn out to think anymore.

Cordelia ran from her closet to her dresser drawers, grabbing clothing by the handful. She knew that Willow hadn't brought a lot of clothing with her, and God only knew if they'd have a chance to get back here to restock. The more she packed the better. "Willow when your done why don't you grab another bag from my closet and pack up some things from my bathroom."

Running into Cordelia's bedroom, Willow checked the clock sitting on Cordelia's nightstand. "We have five minutes." Taking the bag, Willow rushed off.

Zipping the bag she had been packing, Cordelia went over to her desk and opened the top drawer. Taking the two credit cards her father had given her on her sixteenth birthday, she shoved them into her back pocket. "Willow ready?"

Willow reappeared and gave a silent nod. Not wanting to make two trips to the car, the girls grabbed a few bags each and headed for Cordelia's car. "Should you leave a note or something?"

Shrugging at Willow's worried expression Cordelia muttered. "Why? My parents hardly ever come home anymore."

Throwing their bags into the backseat of Cordelia's red BMW, they were off.

"Gone?" Angel nearly growled. He knew the second he walked into the library she wasn't there. But hearing it didn't help his anger. "I thought you said you'd all be here?" Turning an accusing glance at Giles, Angel felt the anger boil inside.

Willow was gone, left the second he turned his back. This was all too much. How was he supposed to get answers if the only person who had them conveniently disappeared? What was she thinking, or more importantly feeling?

"Did you get the journal?" Giles stood, not liking the dark scowl on the vampire's face He waited as Angel hesitated for a minute before handing over the piece of paper that had been neatly folded in his jacket pocket.

The room grew quiet as the watcher read, his face going from interest to deep concern. "This...I mean." Looking up from the paper, Giles read Angel's expression and grew deeply worried. "Perhaps we should talk in private."

Both Xander and Buffy looked ready to complain, but with a quick look from Giles they both sat down without a word. Indicating that the vampire follow him, Giles led Angel to the small library office, closing the door firmly behind them.

"Perhaps you should start at the beginning." Giles heard his own strained voice as he took a seat.

Angel paced the room like a caged animal. He was wasting time. Instead of being stuck in Giles's office he should be out looking for Willow. But with sunset almost two hours away he was limited as to what he could do.

"I don't really know how it started, how even how long its been going on." Angel put a hand to the back of his neck to massage at his tense muscles. "I've been having this nagging feeling for some time that there was something that I should know but couldn't recall exactly what it was."

Giles listened intently as Angel made his way to the other vacant seat. "It wasn't until she was in the hospital that I got this vision of sort."

Completely engrossed Giles leaned forward. "In the vision what did you see?"

"I saw Willow. She was crying. I could see that she was talking but I couldn't hear what she was saying."

"Where was she?" If Giles leaned any further forward, Angel swore that the Englishman was going to end up on his ass.

"In a room. There were candles in sconces." Deciding to omit the part about her being naked and in bed sounded like a good plan.

"Then what?"

"You walked in and I snapped out of it." Leaning back in the chair Giles nodded as though it made sense.

"I had been standing there for some time, you looked pretty out of it. Were there any other visions or dreams?"

"Yes I think so, but I can't remember them." He couldn't sit any longer, standing from his chair Angel began to prowl the room again. "I need to talk to Willow, I'm positive that she has the answers we need."

"This is a very delicate situation Angel." Raising the piece of paper with Angel's dream written on it as a testament to his words. "Now I don't even want to think of the repercussions if Willow is indeed...w-with child."

"How are we going to find that out if she wont speak to me?" Slamming his fist into the wall near the door, Angel didn't feel any better.

"I understand that you're frustrated, but you need to calm down Angel." Clearing his throat, Giles looked out the office window to where Buffy and Xander were whispering silently to one another. "I'm not sure...No I have never been more positive that Buffy and Xander are not ready to hear about this."

Looking in the same direction as the Watcher, Angel felt a momentary pang of loss.  Buffy. He had been so certain that she had been the one, the woman that would make his life complete. But the feeling had slowly been drained away. He didn't want to cause her any more pain, but things couldn't' go on like they were. It wasn't fair to any of them to keep working at a relationship that no longer existed.

"I can't lie to her Giles. She needs to know."

"I agree, but what do you know Angel? Everything so far hasn't been validated. You should get some proof before you break her heart." Giles argued fervently.

"Either way Giles, I just don't feel the same anymore. We were foolish to promise one another forever. I had never had a person in my life like her, never felt that way before. But now..."

"What about now? What if you're wrong Angel? What if all this is some huge coincidence? Are you going to pursue Willow, even though it may tear up hers and Buffy's friendship?" Seeing the mask of determination on Angel's face, Giles made himself calm down. "I can't tell you what to do Angel. If you no longer feel the same about Buffy then I suggest you let her know. But I don't think she's ready to hear about the dreams."

"I don't think that's a problem. I can't remember the dreams when she's around, or I guess I should say when she talks." Taking the piece of paper from Giles's hand, Angel neatly folded it up again.

"If you need proof then I'll get you proof. But I need you to find Willow. I have to talk to her before this drives me crazy. If she is pregnant with my child she's going to need someone there for her. I *need* to be there for her." Not waiting for a response Angel hurried out of the office and towards the sewer entrance, not bothering to stop and say goodbye.

Giles stayed for a moment in the office wishing for a strong shot of whiskey, because he felt he was going to need it.

"Where are we?" Willow slowly got out of the car and stared at the small cabin.

"About an hour away from Sunnydale." Shrugging her slender shoulders, Cordelia grabbed one of the bags from the backseat. "My parents have owned it like forever. I think it was a wedding present or something. Before they got all stinky rich we used to come up here all the time." A rare moment of nostalgia crept up on her, before she was able to stomp it down. Cordelia had learned long ago that what her family once shared could never be recaptured. Her parents had been sucked into the world of the rich and neglectful, and hadn't bothered to look back.

"Your parents won't mind that we're here?" Taking another bag, Willow looked uncertainly at the cabin.

"Pfft like they'll know." Carefully making her way up the gravel drive, Cordelia smiled faintly at the sounds of the birds chirping at dusk.

"But what about school? And Xander? Cordelia you don't have to do this you know."

"I had enough credits to graduate at the beginning of this year. Don't look so shocked you're not the only smart one in the group. I just know how to hide it well. And Xander, I call him in a few days. Maybe we can trust him enough to be our go to person."

"Go to?"

"Yeah you know. Go to the store, go to the laundry mat." Reaching the front, Willow was surprised to see it had been left unlocked. Both girls walked into the dark front room as Cordelia felt along the wall for the outlet. After a moment of fumbling, the lights flickered on.

It wasn't as grand as Cordelia's home, in fact it was a little more rustic then Willow had expected of the Chase's. But it felt safe, and comfortable.

"First things first." By second nature Cordelia took charge. "We need to run to the market that's up the road a few miles. Then tomorrow we need to call around about finding you an OB-GYN."

"Doesn't that take money?" Willow fidgeted, not really ready to talk about everything that needed to be done yet.

"Willow don't worry. I can help you with that, my parents never look at the credit card bills, so what they don't know won't hurt them." Giving Willow a look that clearly stated that there would be no arguing, Willow backed down. "Lets get the rest of our stuff then stock up on the essentials."

Following Cordelia back to the car, Willow couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that they were going to found. She just hoped it wasn't by one furious vampire.  

~~~part twelve~~~

The halls of Sunnydale Memorial were quiet. Keeping his ears open for any unneeded interference, Angel read the door plaques along the doors until he found what he was looking for. Medical Records. With one last look around he tried the door handle and found it locked.

Tightening his hold he gave the resisting knob a harsh crank and was rewarded with the sound of the lock giving. Slipping inside the room, he waited for a moment scanning the shadows, making sure he was alone.

There were rows of medical charts, and Angel headed to the section labeled R. Rummaging through the folders in the R section, Angel pulled out the one-labeled Rosenberg. Pulling it from the shelf he slipped it inside his trench coat, Angel exited the room in a hurry. Walking down the deserted hallway until he reached the sewer access, Angel disappeared into the underground tunnels of Sunnydale.

Once he was safe in the darkness, he pulled out the chart and started scanning through it. Finding the lab results he let out a long unneeded breath. There it was, on paper Willow's pregnancy results. If he was reading it right, Willow was six weeks pregnant.

Folding the paper and shoving it into the safety of his jacket, Angel stood motionless pondering what his next move should be. He had proof for Giles that Willow was pregnant. But now there were more questions that had no answers.

Slumping against the wall behind him, he let his head fall back as he thought. Giles, with his library of books and contacts at the Watcher's council would be able to come up with the answers as to how. But now there was the scary fact that Willow was pregnant, with his baby.

His baby. Those were words that he never thought he'd think. He was going to be a father. His entire body tensed at the thought. Making him nauseous and thrilled at once. Then the guilt set in. Willow was so young, too young to be starting a family. She had to be scared, and confused.

Standing up straight, he remembered hearing about an underground doctor that specialized in demon pregnancy. At the time it seemed like just another useless bit of information he had accumulated. Setting off with purposeful strides in the opposite direction, Angel felt a little less lost now that he had a new led to follow.

"There's no answer over at Cordy's." Xander stuck his head into Giles's office. "Now what?"

Giles checked his wristwatch and frowned. The girls had more than enough time to get back to the Chase's home. "Perhaps you and Buffy could go over there and see if maybe they're there and just not answering the phone."

Xander's face was a mask of confusion. "Giles level with me. Is Willow in some kind of danger? Cause if she is I need to know. She's been my best friend my entire life."

Hesitating for a moment Giles felt caught in the crossfire. He knew keeping secrets in their lifestyle was never a very healthy thing, but he didn't know how Xander would react to the little bit of information that was known.

"Come in and shut the door please." Giles took off his glasses and nervously started to clean the lenses. He hoped that he was doing the right thing.

Xander looked undecidedly at Giles's serious expression. He had seen the look too many times, it always came before some horrible incident. Looking over his shoulder to where Buffy was training, Xander slipped inside the office and closed the door.

"I need you to understand that we don't have all the answers yet, and that if I tell you, I need for you to respect Angel's wishes and let him explain everything to Buffy." Giles spoke to Xander as one adult would to another, making the teen feel the weight of the problem.

"Yeah, sure."

"The information we have is limited and most of it pretty vague. It seems that Willow and Angel have been having dreams of some sort. A-About each other. In Angel's dream last night, Willow told him that she was pregnant."

The corner of Xander's mouth twitched. "Willow pregnant? Right, because we *all* know how much of a ho she is. What are you going to tell me now that Angel's the father?" A laugh escaped his mouth that soon died on his lips when he saw the serious look Giles was giving. "I told you all he was still evil and couldn't be trusted! Did any of you listen to me? Nooooooooo. It was all 'Give him a chance Xander.' or 'He did save our lives Xander.' It was all tricks I tell you!"

"Are you quiet finished?" Giles snapped. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you'd be mature enough to handle a situation as delicate as this. Apparently I was wrong."

The chastise took most of the air out of Xander's sails, leaving the teen in dejected state. "But Willow? Why her? She's a good person."

"I'm not doubting that Willow is a good person. I don't like this anymore than you do. In fact I'm still waiting for some kind of proof claiming that she is indeed with child. But the longer Willow stays missing the more obvious it is that something is amiss." Giles watched as Xander nodded slowly. "I don't think I need to remind you that for the time being we need to keep this from Buffy. On the off chance this is all some huge mistake, I'd hate to see her hurt anymore than necessary."

Xander stood up from his chair, but stopped when something occurred to him. "Do you think that Cordy knows?"

"It would explain her sudden friendship with Willow." Giles answered carefully.

His brows knitting together, Xander left the office quietly.

Willy's was unusually crowded for a weekday night. The mixed crowed seemed to be merry, and the drinks ran freely. Striding purposely toward the bar, he couldn't help but notice the grimace on Willy's face when the shifty little bar owner noticed him.

"A-Angel, what do I owe the pleasure?" Though the words were spoken in a friendly manner, Willy's eyes clearly stated that Angel's presence was nothing close to being pleasurable.

"Calm down Willy, I'm not here to cause any problems." Leaning into the bar, Angel's voice lowered. "Awhile back I heard of a doctor in town that assisted demon and half demon births."

"Lenzo?" Willy asked, his brow rising in question. "Whatcha do? Go and knock up the Slayer?" Angel's bland expression darkened, making Willy reconsider his intelligence.

"Is he still in town?" Deciding to ignore the crude comment, Angel instead stared the little man back into his place.

"Y-Yeah. His place is right off the electrical tunnels, under the OB GYN on Carter Street." Willy grabbed a piece of paper and pen. "Here's his number." After writing the number down, Willy offered Angel the piece of paper with a shaky hand.

Reading the number, he gave Willy a curt nod and left the bar. He had no intentions on calling, not when he needed answers now. Slipping out the back door that led to the alley, Angel made his way to the first access to the tunnels.

"I told you sir, that Dr. Lenzo is busy right now." The scaly blue receptionist answered in annoyance. "I can make an appointment..."

"I need to speak to him now." Angel held firm. He had been arguing with the woman for the last ten minutes and was ready to start breaking things if he didn't get to see the doctor soon.

"Well be done with it." A graying older gentleman stood in the doorway, glaring in Angel's direction. "You're scaring my patients."

"You're human."

"Half human, but I'm sure you didn't come here to speak of my lineage." Stepping aside and indicating for Angel to follow, the doctor led him down a hall to a cozy office.

"I need to know about vampire/human pregnancies." Getting to the point, Angel refused the chair offered to him.

"Are you saying you got a human pregnant?" The doctor looked startled for a moment, almost interested. But soon his expression returned blank and unreadable.

"Yes."

"Well it's been known to happen from time to time." Dr. Lenzo sat back in his chair to study the nervous vampire in front of him. "You're not like the others."

"I have a soul." Angel matched his expression with the doctors, not really wanting to get into details.

"Yes. Well maybe this pregnancy has a chance. As you can guess vampires usually don't keep humans around long enough for them to carry the baby full term. They usually just drain them or in some cases turn the humans. Out of all half-breed pregnancies the vampire/human is the trickiest. There are only three documented cases that the woman carried the child full term."

Angel felt his stomach do another odd flip. "So it has happened before? How?"

"There hasn't been any clear answer." At Angel's low growl the doctor held up his hand. "Like I just said there has only been three written accounts of full term half breeds. Not much to go by. What we do know is that the usual length is five to six months. By the second month the Mother needs a pint of blood a day from the father to survive."

Angel stilled at the news. His head got fuzzy as he took the chair he had just moments ago declined. "My blood?"

"Yes." The doctor answered. "That is very important. The mother and child will both die without it."

"T-The child. Is it human or vampire?" He needed to know.

"They are a half-breed, so both. The three successful deliveries were all the same. The children had allergies to the sun, were able to survive with as small as one pint of blood a week. There development was quicker than most children, it's also no surprise that their strength also was far more advanced. Unfortunately none lived after their third or forth year."

"What happens?"

"The fathers were disgusted by the fact that their children had souls. They saw them as being weak." Angel let out a sigh of relief. That would defiantly not be a problem with him. He was actually worried about the child not having a soul.

"Where is the mother?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Angel swiped a hand through his hair in aggravation.

"How far along is she?" The doctor asked in alarm.

"Six weeks, almost seven." It was almost two months. The time when Willow would need to have his blood to survive.

"I'm sure I'm stating the obvious here, but you need to find her. If she reaches the two-month mark, and does not have your blood she will die." Angel stood from his chair, vowing to himself that he would find Willow, too much was at stake if he didn't.  

~~~part thirteen~~~

The night sky was clear, as millions of stars twinkled down on the two girls huddled beneath thick blankets. Summer was long gone, as the chilly fall temperature gave them healthy pink cheeks. Neither spoke, but sat on the wooden deck chairs lost in their own thoughts. As steam from mugs of tea curled into the air.

They'd had a busy couple of hours getting their new residence into a livable state. Running to the local grocer to stock up on essentials. They'd both been surprised to find that the small store had  'What to Expect When You're Expecting' a book the talkative young clerk said was the end all to any pregnancy books. With a shrug Cordelia had thrown it into their cart, joining the wide array of frozen food.

"Can you believe how quiet it is here?" Willow murmured not wanting to break the spell the nature created.

"In a way I love it, but it also isn't much different." Shrugging her shoulders Cordelia took a sip of her tepid tea.

Willow was ready to ask her what she meant, but stopped. She knew. Though the difference between them as individuals was polar opposite, they did have one thing in common. Loneliness.  Their homes were empty, except for them. Parents who should be home keeping their children safe and loved, were absent. Some other kids their age might think it great to be given so much freedom, to have their parents gone and the house to themselves. But after awhile it gets old. The house is way too quiet, no one there to ask how your day was. Then when they did come home their questions are so empty, not really caring what the answer is, just asking because its the right thing to do.

"I won't be like that." Willow vowed to herself out loud.

"Like what?" Cordelia turned to face Willow, noticing the redhead's determined expression.

"Like our parents. I wont go off to goddess knows where only to make pit stops at home to wash my clothes and head out again. I will be there for my child. I'll let him or her know that they are loved, and that I am there for them no matter what."

Cordelia's mouth twisted a little. "That sounds nice. I bet you'll make a great Mother."

"And you'll be a wonderful Aunt." Willow shot back.

"Really?"

"Of course. Who could ask for a better Aunt than Queen C?"

"No I meant you want me to be the baby's Aunt?" Tears were forming in her hazel eyes as she held her breath to hear Willow's answer. This one answer was more important to her than anything else ever had. It would mean that she was wanted for her, and not her popularity status, her clothes or her money.  She'd be considered to be a part of a family, even a makeshift one.

"Of course! How could you doubt it?" Willow's cry echoed out into the woods, no longer caring if she interrupted the silence.

"Well I haven't been the nicest..."

"People change Cordelia. From this moment on, no more questioning our friendship." Willow nodded her head, finalizing her words.

Cordelia wiped away the moister welled in her eyes, feeling a little silly for almost crying in front of Willow. Drama Queen much? Here was a girl who was still a teenager, pregnant by one of her best friends ex-boyfriend, who happened to be a vampire just recently returned from hell. She was still techiquely a virgin, having lost her virginity to said vampire in a dream. Yup Willow sure would win the Jerry Springer hall of Fame award here.

"Do you think they know?" Cordelia saw the confused look on Willow's face. "Our parents, do you think they know how dangerous good ole Sunnyhell is?" Willow had never seen Cordelia so open before. It was like watching layers of protection falling away, leaving a girl not to unlike herself.

"Sometimes I think so." Willow shifted in her seat and looked up at the starry sky.

Cordelia only nodded in agreement, both leaving it unsaid that the bottom line that their parents were uncaring jerks.

"So what about your dreams?"

"I don't know." Willow's entire body slumped. "I suppose I can just let him know that we're okay.  I'm can't tell him where we're at. No matter how pointy his teeth get."

Cordelia offered a smile of encouragement, silently wishing that she could for once be in Willow's dreams to offer support. Because if Angel were able to manipulate Dream Angel again, Willow was going to have one horrid war on her hands.

"Giles, I can't find them." Xander ran into the library breathlessly as he gave Giles the news. He hadn't noticed Angel until it was too late, and the growl that came from the vampire's throat sent shivers down Xander's spine.

"Where did you look?" Giles asked calmly, trying to take control of the situation. Checking his wristwatch he saw that it was well after midnight, the girls should be at Cordelia's by now.

"Everywhere. Buffy and I went to Cordelia's house. Greta said-"

"Who's Greta?" Angel interrupted, as he begun to pace.

Xander's eyes followed Angel's movement until he felt a little seasick. "She's Cordy's housekeeper. Anyways before Mr. At Room Temperature interrupted I was going to say that Greta hasn't seen either one of them since this morning.  Though she hoped that the 'Vittle wred head waz feeling betta.'."

Giles blinked for a moment, until Xander's words made some sort of odd sense. "So Willow was sick?"

"I guess, I really don't know. Greta likes to nip some of Mr. Chase's private collection if you get my drift. After ten the woman makes no scenes at all."

"You don't say." Giles responded dryly as he rolled his eyes at Xander.

"This is no good. I need to know where she is." Angel snapped at no one in particular.

"Why? Wanted Willow's input on what color the nursery should be? Because I can tell you now, she's not going to go for black on black." Xander snapped, having remembered his earlier conversation with Giles.

Angel's head whipped toward Giles's direction, a look of betrayal and anger cemented to the vampire's face. "You told *him*?"

"At the time it really did seem to be a good thing." Pinching his nose, Giles shook his head wishing to be anywhere but here at the moment. "Xander you said that Buffy was with you?

"Yeah, she wanted to do one final sweep of the park before meeting back here." Xander and Angel locked heated glances.

"Angel you were saying that you spoke to a doctor that specialized in demon births?" Needing to get as much information before Buffy returned, Giles walked over to table to where there were books lying open from his earlier research.

"Yes." Angel paused really not wanting to discuss this in front of Xander.

"Angel we don't have much time before Buffy gets back." Giles pushed.

"None of it was good news." Angel relayed the information he was able to get from the doctor, seeing the horrified expression on Xander's face when the teen heard that Willow had to drink Angel's blood.

"No!" Xander stepped back, his face pale white. His eyes flashing angrily at Angel.  "Why Willow? Wasn't Buffy enough for you? What, you thought hey now that I have Buffy's life torn apart, I'll move on to the next? Hey I know! Cordy's life is going pretty well, why not make a play for her too? OH wait you can't because she ran off with your last victim. I hope you never find either one of them."

"Xander-." Giles watched the young man become hysterical and was going to try and reason with him, but Angel beat him to the punch as the vampire stalked across the room and lifted Xander up into the air by the front of his shirt.

"IF you don't shut up I swear-."

"What going to suck me dry?" Xander mocked as he kicked out.

"She's in danger, she can die, do you understand that? Do you think that I had any control of the situation? Well I didn't." Shaking Xander with every word Angel finally dropped him in disgust.

"What in the hell is going on here?" Buffy's voice demanded from the door, her brow raised as she waited for answers.

Xander picked himself off the floor straightening his clothing as he glared at Angel's dark expression. "Nothing. Angel and I were having a friendly disagreement."

"Since when did friendly disagreements involve violence?" Walking further into the room, she looked at the three males knowing that she wasn't going to get any answers that made sense.

"Xander was just telling us that you were unable to find Willow or Cordelia." Giles stuttered as he steered the conversation into a different, less violent direction.

Buffy shook her head. "I don't get it, where could they be?"

"Anywhere but here." Xander mumbled taking a seat, earning himself different degrees of looks.

"Angel, what was it that you were saying about dreams?" Buffy watched as he concentrated.

"I can't remember..."

"Angel the piece of paper in your pocket." Giles helped out. Angel reached in and grabbed the piece of paper, his eyes roaming over the page.

"What's going on?" Buffy walked over to grab at the item in Angel's hands, only to have him sidestep her.

"I'm going to look for her, if you hear anything..." Angel looked at Giles.

"We'll call you Angel." Watching Buffy's reaction to Angel's brush off, Giles knew until they found Willow and Cordelia it was going to be one crisis after another. He had hoped that Angel would have told Buffy, so they could stop lying to her. Though forgetting everything the second she spoke would make it hard on the vampire.

"Why is it that I feel I'm being kept in the dark about something?"  

~~~part fourteen~~~

The door to Angel's bedroom slammed open with a thunderous boom. His mood was deadly, as his frustration of not finding Willow mounted with each passing day. It had been one week since Willow and Cordelia vanished without a trace. Which meant that he had only one week to go before Willow and his child's lives were in jeopardy.

They weren't in town, that he was sure of. But there were no leads as to where they could be hiding out. He prayed that they hadn't taken a page from Buffy's book and taken off to a large city. DAMN! What were they thinking? Two teens out in the world, one pregnant, that other hadn't known an honest day of work in her pampered existence.

Tearing off his black leather trench coat, he tossed it in the general direction of his bed. The bed that witnessed too many tortured nights as he tried to use the dreams to locate Willow. But each was like the last. He couldn't manipulate his actions, no matter how hard he tried. Though his body did beg and plead to get Willow to tell him where she could be found, she stayed firm and didn't give any answers, except that she was okay. His other self had tried telling her of the impending danger but she'd vanish before he could get the words out.

Honestly he was scared. He felt as though he was going to lose something he hadn't even known he had. That he was going to be cheated out of the experience of knowing how it would feel to have Willow's unconditional love. The dreams did serve their purpose, they were driving him over the edge. He could feel her soft touches, smell her intoxicating scent. The way his body responded to her caressing kisses.

Balling up his fist he pulled back and slammed it into the nearest wall. It didn't ease the pain surrounding his heart, but it lessened some of the frustration gnawing at his nerves. Swinging with his other fist, Angel proceeded to pound into the wall until his knuckles were bloody and his arm muscles burned in protest.

There had to something that he was missing, he thought as he climbed into his bed still smelling of the sewers and his hands bleeding. He didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore except finding Willow. Buffy had started hounding him to the point that he was considering moving from the mansion to somewhere he could be left alone. The only thing stopping him was the last ditch hope that Willow would return and seek him out here. He was reaching and he knew it.

Closing his eyes, he hoped that seeing Willow would ease some of his raging emotions. That somehow this would be the night that he'd be able to either convince Willow to give some clue as to where she was, or even better be able to control his actions again.

It didn't take long to fell into a fitful sleep. There was a new room, well not new, but different then the ones in the dreams. He was standing alone in the library. Books lay open on the library table where everyone usually gathered. The computer in the corner where Willow was usually stationed was still on, as though she had to leave in a hurry.

An abandoned cup of tea sat on the counter. Walking over to it Angel noticed that the mug was still warm. Looking around he couldn't figure out what was going on.

"Different huh?" The familiar voice came from behind, near the cage that housed the weapons. Spinning on his heel, Angel faced himself. Every detail achingly familiar. The clothes, voice, even the mannerisms. He was like watching his mirror image coming to life.

"What's going on?" Making sure that he kept his distance, Angel narrowed his eyes.

"God you can be a stubborn prick you know that?" His other self laughed. "Do you know how hard it has been to get us here like this?"

"I don't understand who you are." His words were barely out of his mouth when the library came to life. Xander and Cordelia were sitting at the table reading through books as they played footsie under the table. Willow's image flickered from behind the computer, fading in and out until she was solid. Giles was at the counter, rubbing his temples.

Angel cast a look in his other self's direction as he made his way cautiously over to Willow's side. "She won't be able to hear you."

Ignoring the words, Angel placed a hand on Willow's shoulder. His hand met flesh, as he sent a victorious grin in the direction of the cage. "Willow?"

There was no reaction as her fingers flew across the keyboard. She was biting on her lower lip, as tears fell unseen by the others. "Willow, please don't cry." Going to wipe at the droplets he was saddened to see that the tears didn't leave her lovely face.

"This is a memory." The voice was at his back. "You can see, hear and touch. You just can't change anything."

"Why?" Angel roared as he spun around. "Why are we here?"

"Don't ask me." His mirror image held up his hands in surrender. "This memory is yours too."

"But I'm not here, how can it be my memory." His replica pointed toward the stacks where he and Buffy were hiding in the shadows, holding one another close, whispering words to one another. He had been here, now he remembered. It was right after Buffy had told everyone he was back.

Looking back down at Willow he saw her eyes flicker in the direction of the shadows where he and Buffy thought they wouldn't be noticed.  Watching as the beautiful redhead fought to control her emotions. Circling around the table that held the computer, Angel took a better look at her face. The dark circles under eyes that were bloodshot.

"Watching you and Buffy together tore her apart." Angel's head jerked up at the harshly spoken words.

"So we're not the same person?"

"Unfortunately we are."

Angel felt the anger at himself sear through him. "I still don't understand."

"Of course you don't, you refuse to see what's in front of you." With arms wide spread the other self looked around at everyone in the library.

"Do you even know any of these people? These four people who risk their lives everyday? Do you know Willow? Her secrets, fears, her dreams?" Angel looked around at the familiar faces and was ready to argue that he knew them. Until he realized that no, he really didn't.

"Why are we here? What's the meaning of this? Willow is missing and we...I need to find her."

"You won't find her until you realize that you're not the only person hurting here. That perhaps if you weren't such an ass you could've worked with one of these people and figured it out by now." Crossing his arms in arrogance, Angel was starting to hate the image in front of him.

Angel's eyes rested on Xander as he let out a loud moan. "Not him. Anyone but him."

"We don't have time to argue here. I've worked hard to bring our two parts together and we're wasting time." The other self hoped up on the table, as Xander and Cordelia went on researching behind him. "I'm our subconscious."

"What do I represent?" Angel asked.

"Besides the irritating jackass...sorry. You're our conscious self. You make the decisions, I just try to whisper to you what it is that you really feel or don't feel. Try and show you what you already know, but refuse to see. I can't make you do anything, but just sit back and enjoy the ride."

"But not in the dreams." Angel started to catch on.

"Exactly. The dreams were mine. My haven while we were in Hell. So I went to the one person I knew could ease some of the pain away."

"Why not Buffy? I didn't love Willow then." Angel saw his other self give him a disgusted look.

"Yeah there's an idea. I should've thought of that. Let's go visit the person that put us in hell."

"She had too-."

"Blah Blah Blah. You don't need to defend crap to me. I know how you really felt about that little 'Close your eyes' game. Bet you don't fall for that line again."  Angel was tempted to choke the laughter from his other self. "No really you gotta admit, that was classic."

"Yeah, it was real funny." Angel's hands itched for a fight.

"Not any better then you coming back and picking up right where you left off." The other's mirth faded as stone cold anger washed over his features.

"Because I loved-."

"No because you felt it was what you should do, what was expected of you from the others. You came back as if you hadn't learned a damn thing." This time Angel prepared himself to receive a fist in the face. "I told you not to bother defending yourself. I know how you felt, how you still feel."

Angel grew quiet, the words spoken were ones that he had thought, but never would admit to. Even after coming back and talking to Giles he logically knew that Buffy did what she had to. But he still couldn't help feeling angry and betrayed. Mostly because one moment she *had* to do her duty the next she was on the run, leaving everyone behind without a word.

"The dreams?" Angel changed subjects.

"Easy, really. What with the link that was created when Willow selflessly resouled our sorry ass. As far as I could tell she was worried and wanted to know if the spell worked, know where we were. So she was already on the dream plain unknowingly looking for us when I started wishing to see her." Angel listened closely, watching as his other self's features softened. "The first time I saw her I thought I was in heaven. I was too scared to let her see me, thinking that she'd vanish and I'd never see her again. It wasn't until the time we were on a beach and she was playing in the water that I worked up enough nerve."

"Wish I could have been there." Angel felt a wave of dark jealously hit him.

"You were idiot, you just chose not to remember."

"I'm trying! But it doesn't help that every time Buffy's around and opens her mouth everything in my head goes blank."

"Not my problem. That's all up to you. I worked like hell to get us this far, the least you could do is try a little harder."

"You're not making any sense!" His earlier belief that he really didn't like this other part of himself came back.

"You want it spelt out? Fine. You have to accept what you really feel, stop doing what you think everyone expects of you. We're not a bad person when it all comes down to it, but we're not the person we've been acting like either." Angel could only nod. He'd been feeling the pressure more and more lately. That he'd been shoved into this dark role of Buffy's soul mate, when he really didn't feel as though it fit him any longer. But he had gone along with it, feeling that he owed it to everyone he had hurt.

"I'm just finding it hard to believe that I love Willow when I barely even know her. I can feel the emotions in the dreams, that stay with me when I'm awake. But it just doesn't feel like it was me that fell in love with her."

"Take my hands." Raising a brow, Angel looked at his other self. "Come on, take a chance."

Tentatively Angel reached out and grasped onto the offered hands, when thoughts and images began to swim before his eyes. A strong pressure around his heart made him wince in pain.  Every dream flashed before him. Willow's innocent eyes peering up at him as the stood on the beach, her reaching out to take his hand into hers. A campfire that had them staring into the flames. Countless other dreams filtered before him. He saw her shaking in his arms, as his lips touched his. Their hands slowly exploring one another, until she was naked beneath him, crying out as he broke through her virgin barrier.

Tears fell down both Angel's and his other self's cheeks as each dream was relived until they got to the last one. When it was over they both opened their eyes.

"We have to find her." Angel sat motionless, as though all energy had been sucked from him. "And if you start working with Xander I'm sure the two of you will find her."

"But that boy irritated the hell out of me." The other Angel laughed.

"Yeah, he can be a little cretin at times. But you have to start getting to know these people around you. They may not be in your life forever, but they are as much a part of you as you are of them."

Angel was about to question that last sentence when a loud noise woke him up, having him jump out of bed in an attack position.  

~~~part fifteen~~~

In a position ready to attack, Angel glared over at where Xander was huddled in the corner, hands in front of him protectively as though to guard off an attack. "Geez will ya put the fangs away? You could hurt someone with those things. It's just me."

Angel wiped the sleep from his eyes and slowly let his human mask fall back into place. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't take it anymore. I need to find them." Xander lowered his arms but kept a safe distance from Angel. He should have thought better than to just come barging into his room like that. It was almost like waking a sleeping bear... one that had a serious case of rabies. But he was had been desperate, and in his illogical mind he just thought that if he can here, Angel would have some sort of news. Anything was better than the big fat goose egg he had.

Angel bit back the sarcastic reply that was on the tip of his tongue, as he remembered what was said in his dream. Maybe it wouldn't hurt just this once to join forces. "I don't have anything." He admitted as he slumped back down on the bed. "I don't get how two girls with limited funds could've lasted this long ."

"Yeah right." Xander body began to shake as laughter shook his chest. His hands holding onto his gut as he bent over, tears running down his face. "Cordelia Chase... without funds."

Having the teen laugh at him only reminded Angel as to why he didn't want to join forces with the village idiot. It wasn't until he heard the words being forced out between gasps that made Angel still. "What did you just say?"

Standing up straight Xander wiped the tears from his face. "Credit Cards, plastic, you know don't leave home without them?"

Angel felt like slapping his head in aggravation. Of course Cordelia would have a credit card, which meant... "Xander I need you to get me into Cordelia's house." Angel grabbed the jacket he had earlier thrown onto his bed, already heading out the door.

"Don't you think you should shower first?" Xander called out as he followed Angel out of the room.

"You know this wouldn't have happened if I had some help." Buffy's shoulder jerked as Giles tried to clean the wound in her right shoulder. She had been patrolling near the Bronze when a group of vampires had attacked. She had told Giles that she had been fighting three when another four had shown up. What she didn't tell her Watcher was that she had been wondering down the alley, feeling sorry for herself when she had been ambushed.

"Buffy-."

"I mean hello? I'm just one person here, and there's only so much I can do." Buffy went on, crying out as Giles placed secured a bandage over her wound.

"But that's just the point Buffy. You should be enough to protect the Hellmouth, you're the Slayer. You've been lucky so far by having so many friends at your side." Picking up the first aide kit, he mentally made a list of the supplies he needed to pick up the next day.

"I get the whole having super powers and expected to rid the world of all evil. But Angel has those nifty vampire powers, he should be out there too. I don't see you giving him lectures on using his strength for the greater good." Giles applied the last bandage with a grunt. Buffy's complaining had only worsened over the last week. Every night a little worse then the last.

"Buffy he's busy trying to find-."

Hopping off the table, Buffy stomped over to pick up her jacket. "Did you see this? This was my favorite jacket!" Lifting up the black leather jacket, she poked a finger through the large hole in the shoulder part. Giles rolled his eyes and turned around.  "I'm sure that the council wont reimburse me...they wont will they?"

"I'm sure they have more important things to spend their limited funds on than designer leather jackets." Closing his eyes and counting to ten, Giles waited until he had complete control of his irritation before continuing. "I've told you before to wear clothing you weren't so attached to.  This week it's your jacket, two weeks ago you favorite boots."

"Those were one of a kind!" Buffy cried out as she remembered the greenish gray goo that ate holes in her beautiful platform boots.

No matter how high he counted Giles's nerves couldn't be soothed. "Buffy! Will you please stop worrying about some material goods that can always be replaced. Willow and Cordelia are still missing, aren't you the least bit concerned?"

"How can you ask that? Willow's my best friend." Feeling a bitter betrayal at Giles even thinking that she wasn't worried for her friends, Buffy looked at him as though he kicked her favorite puppy.

"Well you certainly haven't acted like it. All you have done is complained. Angel and Xander can't help you with you rounds, seeing that they're using ever spare moment trying to find the girls."

"Don't get me wrong." Buffy looked down, her face sad. "But it makes me a little mad that they'd just take off like that. I mean we were in the middle of researching that prophecy thingy."

Nearly feeling his brain cells exploding at an increasing rate, Giles could no longer hold his tongue. "Well if its any conciliation, I'm sure what you're feeling now doesn't even compare to what your friends felt over the summer in your absence." Slamming the lid shut on the first aide kit, Giles turned his back on Buffy's opened mouth expression. "I have listened to you whining all week and can't take much more Buffy."

"That's not fair! The circumstances were..." Buffy started to protest, but got frustrated when her rebuttal didn't stop Giles from going into his small office and slamming the door. Leaving her alone in the library.

Cordelia watched Willow from the corner off her eye, as she waited for Willow to take a bite of the dinner that sat untouched in front of the redhead. She could tell something wasn't quiet right. More than just the morning sickness that seemed to last all day.

She seemed worn out. Fighting to keep her eyes open whenever she was awake. Not being able to keep her food down. The local doctor had run some tests and said that Willow's white blood cell count was dangerously low. He even suggested that Willow should check herself in, just for observation. But Willow had objected vehemently. So the doctor added some iron supplements on top of the prenatal vitamins Willow was already taking.

That was three days ago, and logically Cordelia knew that it wasn't enough time for the pills to start working, but she had serious doubts that they would. Whatever was wrong with Willow was Hellmouthy wrong. One didn't hang around with the Scoobies as long as she had and not be able to pick up on the weird and unnatural. Plus with Angel being the babies father there was bound to be some freaky crap tied to that.

She missed Xander, her home, and sadly enough she missed having Giles there, always prepared to explain the why's of everything. Cordelia could tell that Willow was getting a little homesick as well. How pathetic were they? Barely gone a week, living every teen's fantasy, living on their own. Maybe it was the fact that they pretty much lived on their own already.

Not that staying at the cabin had been a total waste. They had both learned more about one another, growing closer everyday. Finding out that they both had a lot more in common than they thought.

Taking another look at Willow, Cordelia stifled a laugh as the exhausted redhead slept peacefully on her plate.

"So are you going to fill me in on your little plan?" Xander followed from behind barely keeping up with Angel's long strides as they headed for the Chase's home.

"If we can figure out a way to get a hold of Cordelia's credit card company I thought we'd be able to get an idea where they are." Angel answered.

"How cloaks and daggers of you." Actually Xander was impressed, and a little peeved that he hadn't thought of that sooner.

"Her father has to have some old statements somewhere. If we can get enough information on Mr. Chase we shouldn't have a problem getting the last couple of charges." Waiting for a car to pass before crossing the street Angel kept going. There was an aching in his stomach that made him feel like they couldn't waste time. It was as though he just knew something was wrong.

"Well I'm sure that Greta has passed out by now." Trying to check the time on his wristwatch Xander had to hurry to catch up with Angel.

"Great supervision to leave your child with." Angel said with a disgusted growl. "I really don't get any of your parents. Willow's are gone almost all the time leaving her to fend for herself. Cordelia's leave her with a drunk. What about you Harris? Do your parents leave town also?"

Xander gave a harsh laugh. "I could only be so lucky."

Angel looked over his shoulder noticing Xander's dark expression. "What are you saying?"

"Angel I'm sure there's a lot of things that haven't changed since you were a kid. Some parents are great, for example Buffy's Mom. Then there's your ever so popular neglectful parents like Cordelia and Willow's. But then you have those really special parents. The ones that shouldn't even own a dog. Well let's just say my parents don't have a dog, instead they have me."

Xander's words made Angel stop. Could he have been so oblivious to the group of people he had spent the better of three years with, not to know that Xander's parents were abusive. Trying to recall past conversations he remembered some of Xander's off colored comments. He should've have known. What else had gone unchecked because he had been so wrapped up in Buffy?

"Xander do your parents...do they hit you?"

Xander had passed him by this time, but Angel's words made him turn around to where Angel stood. "Why want to buy tickets to the next 'Who's the worst son' night at the Harris house?"

Honestly Angel didn't know what to say. He had known abusive parents, heck his father defiantly came close to falling into that category. He didn't know what was worse, Xander's parents being that way or him not seeing it sooner. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Just because I don't exactly have June and Ward as parents? Don't sweat it. Life is funny like that." Xander wanted to swipe off the concerned expression on Angel's face. The last thing he wanted was pity from a blood-sucking fiend.

Angel knew by Xander's ridged features it was time to back off. No need to get three years of bonding done in one night. But the topic wasn't forgotten. Something had to be done with the neglectful parents. With the lifestyles each of the Scoobies lived someone needed to be there, keeping an eye on them.

They walked the rest of the way to Cordelia's in silence. Xander told Angel to wait near the bushes while he checked to see if Greta was off in Malt Whiskey wonderland land. Waiting patiently as Xander knocked on the door and waiting for an appropriate time, Xander flipped the corner of the mat in front of the door and grabbed a key hidden beneath.

Opening the door as stealthy as he could, Xander steeped inside and disappeared. Angel saw him reappear minutes later. "Angel all's clear, come on in."

Angel left the shadows and hurried into Cordelia's home. Xander led the way to Mr. Chase's office. "What are we looking for?"

Angel clicked on the antique desk lamp and started opening drawers. "Old statements. Anything that might have Cordelia's father's social security number or mother's maiden name on it."

"Collins." Xander answered. "I had the displeasure of meeting Grandmother Collins over the summer."

"Good." Closing one drawer, Angel opened another. Finding a file labeled Credit Cards, Angel started shifting through to find one with Cordelia's name on it. "Found one."

"Good, I found the social." Xander handed the paper over to Angel.

Picking up the phone, Angel quickly dialed the number and waited...and waited. After five minutes, Angel and Xander were rewarded for their patience. There had been quite a few charges from a small town about an hour away. Relief washed over Angel as they got their first strong lead.

"When do we leave?" Xander asked as soon as they had all the papers put away and were out the door.

Angel was about to tell him that he wasn't coming, but thought better of it. Without Xander's help he'd still be without any leads. "An hour, will you be ready?"

"Meet you back at your place." Xander headed in the opposite direction, leaving Angel to watch him fade into the night.  

~~~part sixteen~~~

"So where did you get the car?" Angel tried to break the silence that engulfed the small compact car. They had headed out of Sunnydale only thirty minutes after parting at Cordelia's house. Both anxious to follow the one and only lead they had. Each fighting back the paralyzing fear of not being able to track the girls down.

" My Uncle Roy."

"He just let you take his care?"

"I wouldn't really say that he let me take his car, more like he left the keys in the ignition so I took it." Xander shrugged. "Why don't you have a car?"

"Really never saw the need to have one. Sunnydale isn't that big of a place." Angel looked out the window.

"Even Spike has a car." Xander looked down at the speedometer and pressed his foot down on the accelerator. He was impatient to get to the small town that the last of Cordelia's credit card charges came from.

"Spike stole a car." Angel corrected.

"He stole that piece of junk?" Xander looked over at Angel in disbelief. "You'd think that he'd pick one that wasn't so...crappy."

"That's the point, who's going to report a stolen vehicle that's hardly even legal to be on the roads?" Angel looked down at the map sitting in his lap. "You know where you're going?"

"Yeah." Xander grumbled.

Every nerve in his body was on edge. He just wanted this over and done with. Willow wasn't going to be too thrilled that they had found her, but she'd just have to deal. Lives were in danger here, and not just from the anger he had finally allowed himself to feel.

Anger that was from the week of worry he had to live through. The panic that had settled in his stomach, that gnawed at him to the point it was almost painful. Angry that she'd put not only her life but also the baby's life in danger. If she was going to be a Mother she was going to have to stop and think of what was better for the child, not what was going to make things easier on herself.

He wasn't angry that she was scared, it was to be expected. The entire situation was scary, in a big kind of was. Hell he was scared. How was he supposed to be a father? Would Willow even want him involved in the child's life, or would she see him as a threat to their child?

"We're going to find them. I'd think that this would make you happy." Xander had been watching Angel from the corner of his eye, and saw the frown on the vampire's face.

"I know. I've been so worried about figuring out where Willow was that I really haven't had time to think about her having a baby...my baby." This was an all time low and in the last few hundred years Angel had several low moments.  But here he was having a heart to heart with Xander Harris.

"On the freaky meter I'd have to give this, oh I don't know, a thousand." His fingers gripping into the steering wheel, Xander told himself that getting mad wouldn't solve anything. "I won't pretend that I like this. Or even understand, but apparently Willow saw something good in you to, well you know, to... I'm not going to say it. But if she can accept you then the least I can do is give you a chance."

"What if she doesn't want me in her life?" Angel said more to himself, than the young man next to him.

Xander pulled the car over to the shoulder of the road and took a serious look at Angel. "What if she doesn't? What will you do?"

Angel felt his throat tighten at the thought of Willow not allowing him into her life, into his child's life. "If she doesn't want me in their lives then I'll leave town."

"Wrong answer." Xander shook his head. "Listen I know that we've had this huge hate thing going on but I'm going to level with you. Willow takes her friendships very seriously, and not that she has had any relationships per say, but I'd have to assume the same applies. Right now Willow probably feels that she has committed the hugest big no in friendship."

"Big no?"

"Sleeping with your best friend's flame. Usually not a good thing. But I can't see her jumping in the sack with you...oh god bad visual." Holding a hand to his eyes, he rubbed for a moment. "I can't see Willow risking her first female friendship, unless she felt something larger than life for you. If Willow tells you that she doesn't want you in her life, or that it's wrong, ignore her. Don't give her a choice. Because she's going to pick the one she thinks everyone will be happy with, even if it means giving up her own happiness."

"So I should force her to accept me in her life."

"Ain't pretty I know. But as Willow's life long pal, I know what's best for her." Angel took a long hard look at Xander, and for the first time really saw the other male. Not as a threat to his relationship with Buffy. Or the annoying twit who was always insulting him. But the person Xander could really was. When he put aside the bad jokes, the guy was pretty insightful.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. You haven't seen Willow really angry yet." Xander's eyes crinkled at the corners.

Angel just nodded, but felt as though there was some hope if Xander was in his corner. That was a good thing right?

Giles sat alone in the library, thankful that Buffy had finally left so he could enjoy some piece and quiet. He had several leather bond books laid out in front of him on dreams and the dream world. Willow and Angel sharing dreams wasn't so far fetched. Giles could understand this, it wasn't uncommon to share dreams with another. But to get pregnant? Now this was throwing him for a loop.

Angel had called earlier letting him know that he and Xander had found a lead and were heading out of town. With a small snort Giles tried to envision Angel and Xander sharing the same car space for more than ten minutes. As far as Giles was concerned, if Angel didn't kill the boy on their little road trip then all of his past deeds could be forgiven.

If they could find the girls, then one crisis was down another huge one to go. Buffy. How was she going to react to all of this wasn't in doubt. But the extreme of her anger was what worried him the most. Up to this point Buffy just assumed that the close group was there to back her up, give her moral support when needed. This would truly be a test of her friendship and compassion. Giles prayed that she didn't come up short.

With a shake of his head Giles banished the thoughts. He didn't have the luxury to sit here and ponder on the what ifs. Willow and Angel needed answers. Pulling another old text before him, he concentrated on the words before him, hoping that their questions would be answered soon.

Xander pulled in front of a small grocery store. The name O'Malley's was the last charge from two days ago. "Great the lights are off." Xander said.

"Wait there's someone inside." Angel was out of the car before he was finished speaking. With a determined pace, Angel walked the short distance to the glass door and peered inside where a young woman was mopping the floor. Rapping his knuckles against the glass he saw the girl give a startled jump before looking up.

"We're closed."

"I know, but we're lost and I was hoping that you could help us." They didn't have time to placate some jumpy local.

"Where are you heading?" The girl didn't move from her position as she regarded Angel with suspicious eyes.

"Some friends of ours are staying out here, and we lost the directions. We thought we remembered, but you know how that goes."

"Here's their pictures." Xander had joined Angel, pressing the pictures up to the glass. The girl took a long hard look at Xander before walking forward to peer at the two pictures.

"Oh Cordelia and Willow." Some of the suspicion left her face. "Yeah they're at the small cabin up on White's lane." Holding up a hand to show them to wait for a moment she sped off to one of the check out stands and grabbed a pad of paper and pen.

"That was a good idea." Angel whispered to Xander as they waited. "Bringing their pictures."

"Thanks." Xander didn't know how to take the compliment.

The young woman returned and unlocked the door. "Sorry about that. But staying after hours always freaks me out. You're not too far away, maybe ten minutes." Handing Xander the directions she gave a shy grin.

"Thanks." Xander called over his shoulder as he followed Angel back to the car.

"Willow?" Cordelia walked out onto the deck and smiled at Willow's sleeping form. Every night was the same.  After dinner Willow would take a steaming cup of tea, and a thick blanket out to the porch to enjoy the fresh night air. Every night she'd fall asleep in one of the deck chairs. "It's time to get inside, it's getting kind of cold."

When Willow didn't move Cordelia walked to her side and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Willow?" Giving a little shake, her heart started to pound rapidly. "Come on Willow wake up. WILLOW?!" With shaky hands she reached out to lay her fingers at Willow's pulse point. She really didn't know what she was looking for, but it seemed like a natural thing to do.

There was a soft steady rhythm from beneath her fingers. That was a good thing, right?  Trying one more time to wake her, Cordelia gave up and ran for the phone.  

~~~part seventeen~~~

Angel looked down again at the quickly written directions and instructed Xander to make his next right. Trying to concentrate on actually getting to their destination, Angel tried to block out what he was going to do once he face to face with Willow.

Too many conflicting emotions were swimming around him. And to sit and analyze each one of them would take him a lifetime. Right now he needed to keep focused.

"What's the heck?" Xander looked into his rearview mirror, as he saw flashing lights coming up quickly from behind. Angel turned around in his seat and let out a low groan.

"How fast are you going?" Xander checked the speedometer.

"Only forty-five." The lights got closer as Xander pulled over to the right. Soon an ambulance sped past.

"Willow." He didn't know how he knew it, but he just did. "Xander hurry!" He barked out, wanting to put his foot over Xander's to make the car go faster.

"Calm down, we don't know for sure." Not sounding too convincing, the small car picked up speed as they flew down the road.

The ambulance was long gone, but both males knew they would find it once they got to where Cordy and Willow were staying. Angel read off the directions impatiently, nearly biting Xander's head off when they missed the turn.

"Stop yelling at me! I'm doing the best I can." Putting the car into reverse, Xander turned left. Going around a bend in the road they could see the flashing lights off in the distance. "Oh no."

Angel never thought they would get to the driveway, and when Xander turned the small car onto the pothole infested dirt road, he nearly jumped from the car to reach the house faster. Instead he waited until Xander was just about to stop, throwing his door open and running to the deck where Cordelia hovered over two EMTs.

"What happened?" His voice was low, bringing Cordelia's watery hazel eyes up to look at him.

"Angel?" Looking behind the vampire Cordelia saw Xander running toward them. "Xander!"

Latching onto her arm before she ran off and threw herself in Xander's direction, Angel softened his hardened expression. "Cordelia this is important. What happened? What's wrong with Willow?"

It looked to him as though she was hesitating, that she really wanted to tell him, but felt that she would betray her friend. "Cordy we know." Xander said helpfully from behind Angel. "Please he needs to know."

"I don't know. She won't wake up. I know she has been tired a lot lately. The doctor said her iron level is really low..." Watching Angel fly by her, Cordelia gave Xander a questioning glace, before returning her attention back to Angel. He was shoving the EMTs out of the way.

"Sir you have to let us get the monitors hooked up to her." One of the men tried to push his way back to Willow's side, only to have Angel shove him hard in the chest.

"I know what she needs." Shooting a warning glance at the remaining two men, Angel picked up Willow and held her close to him. "Cordelia where's her room?"

"Why? You're not going to...You know."

"Xander will explain everything to you, but right now I need to get her inside and I need some privacy."

"It's down the hall and to the right." Hoping that she was doing the right thing, she looked over at Xander for confirmation.

"Um... I need for you to..." Cocking his head toward the door and raising his brows at her, Cordelia blinked not understanding.

"Invite him in Cordy." Xander whispered into her ear.

"Oh yeah, go right on in." Angel waited long enough to allow the barrier to disappear, and he was out of sight halfway down the hall.

"Listen we need to help your friend." One of the paramedics came up from behind, bag in hand as he headed to the door.

"No!" Xander went and blocked his path. "Listen this has happened before, we have everything handled." Giving Cordelia a look that clearly said to back him up on this, Cordelia stepped forward.

"He's right." The paramedics didn't look too convinced. "Really. I'm sorry for bringing you all the way out here. But Angel's here now and he knows what to do."

Carefully placing Willow on the bed, Angel swiftly removed his jacket. Pulling at his sleeve, he slipped in next to her, positioning her body up against his chest. Biting into his wrist, deep enough for his blood to run freely, he parted her lips and held his wound to her mouth.

She didn't respond immediately, but soon her small mouth puckered around his wrist, sucking. He could feel the suction increase. A slight pink blush crept upon her pale translucent skin, her hand slowly inched its way up to grasp onto his arm pulling him even closer.

Once he felt she had more then the pint the doctor had said she would need, Angel attempted to pull away. Only to have Willow grasp tighten as she whimpered in protest. Giving into her pleas, he kept his wrist to her mouth.

Gently brushing her hair from her face, he couldn't resist kissing her temple. He didn't have a clue how things were going to be once she woke up, he took advantage of this one moment. Holding her close, relieved to see that she was going to okay for now.

Her suction finally lessened as her lips slipped from his skin. From her deep breaths signaling that she was in deep sleep. But one that he was confident she would wake from soon. Leaning his head back against the headboard, he inhaled deeply. It was odd that her scent seemed to be already imprinted into his mind. He could lay there next to her for all eternity, just holding her to him.

His eyes skipped down to her flat stomach, and his hand itched to lay his palm upon her. To have his palm just inches away from his unborn child. Not able to resist his hand inched out, hesitantly, almost scared that Willow could wake at any moment. Taking a deep breath, he closed the distance.

Closing his eyes and concentrating on the motions beneath his hand. At first he could feel Willow's warmth, then her blood as it circulated through her slender frame. Concentrating harder his hand twitched away. A heartbeat. He felt it, there was no mistake.

A soft rap at the door brought his attention back to reality. "Angel?" Cordelia inched the door open, poking her head into the room. "The paramedics won't leave."

He could see the begging look in her eyes. With a nod of his head, he scooted out from underneath Willow, settling her softly against the pillows. Rolling his sleeve down over his already healing wound he brushed past Cordelia, laying a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he passed.

The first thing he saw was Xander clinging onto the doorframe as the paramedics tried to push past him. "She's fine now, you can leave. She just needed her insulin."

"We're not leaving until we know she's stable." Angel glared at the irritating men on the other side of Xander.

"Get over it." Angel pulled Xander back and slammed the door shut in their shocked faces.

"Gee wish I would've thought of that." Xander muttered.

"I don't have the patience to deal with them right now." Angel watched through the window as the ambulance finally pulled away. "Tell Cordelia to pack her things. We're going back tonight."

"This is bad isn't it?" Xander whispered as he looked over his shoulder to make sure Cordelia was still with Willow.

"She had another week before she actually needed my blood, perhaps another before she got like that." Angel answered honestly. "I need to get her to the doctor I saw, perhaps he can help."

Xander looked thoughtful. "Is there anything I can do?"

Angel was about to tell him no, until he looked Xander in the eye. He could see his pain and confusion, reminding Angel that he wasn't the only one concerned about Willow. "I...I was thinking that I'd keep Willow at the mansion with me...with the whole blood thing. I'm sure that she'd love to have some familiar faces around..."

"This is killing you isn't it?" Grinning, Xander swayed back and forth on his heel.

"You have no idea." Rubbing the back of his neck, Angel continued. "I'm sure that Willow would like to have you and Cordelia around."

"Are you asking for us to move in?"

A scene flashed before him. Xander and Cordelia living with him. The mess the chaos, Xander. "NO!...I-I just thought you two could stay for a little while, moral support and all."

"Wow look at this. The dead guy is getting all...friendly. I don't know if I should be honored or just plain afraid."

"You know what forget it." Angel turned his back, mentally kicking himself for even suggesting it.

"All kidding aside. I'd really like that...especially if my Uncle finds out I took his car. Might not be pretty around the casa del Harris." Angel studied Xander for a moment and gave a nod. Walking back to Willow's room, Angel silently wondered if he had gone insane. It wasn't as though his plate wasn't filled enough right now with Willow and their unborn baby. Now he was inviting teens to come and move in with him?  

~~~part eighteen~~~

Angel hovered over Dr. Lenzo's shoulder, his face etched with concern as the doctor took his time examining the still unconscious Willow. He had tried to stay seated, really he had, but his nerves were in hyper drive, and if the doctor didn't say something and soon he couldn't be held  responsible for his actions.

The drive back to Sunnydale seemed to have taken forever. He had driven the same compact car that Xander had 'barrowed' from his Uncle, while the two teens tried to keep up in Cordelia's car from behind. A drive that should've taken them a little over an hour only took thirty minutes at most. Having to drop off the stolen vehicle seemed to just eat precious time, but Angel really hadn't wanted Xander in any trouble after having gone out of his way to get them transportation.

Then there was the time wasted having to argue with the two overly concerned teens, telling them to stay behind at the mansion and wait.  Angel had put his foot down, leaving no room for protest.  They both had dark shadows around their bloodshot eyes making them both look as though they were survivors of some horrible concentration camp. Both swaying where they stood, looking like they were going to topple over at any moment.

 "Mr. Angel if you don't give me some space here I'm going to send you to the waiting room." The doctor looked over his shoulder and gave Angel a no nonsense look, the same look that Angel had just used earlier when Xander and Cordelia had started protesting that they had wanted to come along.

"Why isn't she waking up? I gave her some of my blood." Taking a couple steps back, Angel wrung his hands together. He had been so sure that all Willow had needed was his blood. That she'd magically wake up, give him a small smile of reassurance, but that hadn't happened.

"How much blood did you give her?" Looking over his round wire rimmed glasses at Angel, he took a pen from his front pocket.

"I don't know I just bit into my wrist and let her drink from me." Holding up his already healed wrist, he winced at the doctor's dry look.

"How scientific of you." The doctor turned his back on Angel with a roll of his eyes.  Walking over to the cabinets that lined one of the walls, Dr. Lenzo picked up a nasty looking needle and returned to Willow's side.

"What's that?" Angel caught the doctor's hand before the man could even get feet from Willow.

"Are you always this high-strung?" With a quick flick of his wrist the doctor wrenched free. "Will you calm down? Your girlfriend is fine. It just takes sometime for your blood to work its way through her bloodstream. What I have here," Raising the needle to the light and letting out any air in the syringe, "is just your basic vitamin cocktail... per say. It'll help her blood bond to yours."

"And that's a good thing?" Angel didn't look too convinced, as he shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, watching as the doctor rubbed a moistened cotton ball in a small circle on Willow's arm.

Weird that at one time had been known as one of the most ruthless vampires to walk the earth. He hadn't killed just for food or the sport of it. As Angelus he had made killing an art form. So having been such a twisted and demented lunatic, who would've known a little needle prick and a drop of Willow's blood, would make him queasy.

"There, that should do it. She'll be fit as rain." Taking a step away from the table, the concerned expression left the doctors face as his eyes lit up with excitement. "I can't even start explaining to you what a rare treat this is." Angel's expression turned darker at the other mans apparent joy.

"It's a treat that she almost died?" The low growl didn't phase the doctor one bit, as a smile touched the man's lips.

"No, not that. But a human/vampire pregnancy. Do you even know how coveted this is?"

"I'd rather not have Willow's life at risk." Stepping up to where Willow lay, Angel's eyes filled with concern as he took her limp hand into his.

"You don't know what you're saying." The shocked tone made Angel look over his shoulder at the doctor in disgust.

"Of course I know what I'm saying. Willow doesn't deserve this, she's a good person. She helps the Slayer guard the Hellmouth, making sure that the gate stays closed. She keeps the citizens of this town safe by risking her own life night after night."

Dr. Lenzo studied Angel's angst-ridden face, and the excited gleam was replaced with compassion. "I know who the girl is. She is indeed a powerful witch, as well as a young woman to be proud of." With a sweep of his hand he motioned for Angel to take a seat near the examining table. Angel hesitated, but at the sincere look from the doctor he conceded. "I know also of the Slayer, and what you once had with her." Angel was shocked if not a little suspicious. "Most of my patients are half demons, though some are humans who have mated with a demon... The one thing they all have in common is that they are good people. They all admire the Slayer and her small group of avengers, and of the work they do to keep the town, and the world safe."

"But at the same time they are fearful of you all too. Not sure that they'd be viewed as good or evil through the Slayer's eyes." Angle nodded, understanding. "But you should hear the gossip here in the office. Nothing gets by some of these people, so in a way I feel as though I know each of you personally. So saying this, from what I have heard of the witch-."

"Willow." Angel corrected.

"Willow," The doctor nodded, "from what I have heard of her seems to be made of stronger stuff then what you're giving her credit for."

Not liking to be told by some stranger what Willow was or wasn't like didn't sit well with Angel. Especially after his mirror image had recently accused him of not knowing the people around him. Plus the doctors words were a little too truthful for Angel's taste. Willow always seemed to weather everything that was thrown her way. She was never one to sit and whine about her lot in life.

Look at how long she kept this a secret. If he hadn't started to remember the dreams how long would she have let this play out? It wasn't until recently that anyone had even noticed that something was wrong, but she hadn't said a word to anyone. Perhaps that showed she was strong in some ways. But it also showed that she was good at keeping her pain a secret. And he was going to make it his goal to make sure that she no longer kept her pain locked away.

Angel was sitting there thinking about the doctor's words when a small gasp came from the examining table. Two sets of eyes swung over to a very disturbed young redhead, as she blinked a few times. Dr. Lenzo was on his feet, and at Willow's side, giving her a huge smile of greeting. "Well welcome back. You had us worried there for a little bit."

Willow looked around not too sure where she was, but there was no mistaking the sterile smelling room to be a doctor's office. If the small man in the white lab coat hadn't already given it away. Trying to get her bearings, Willow tired to sit up, but found it impossible when a hand was placed on her stomach to keep her down.

Looking from the hand that laid flat on her stomach up to the arm that belonged to it, her eyes widened when her gaze met Angel's brown orbs. She had always thought his eyes were always a dead give away to what he was feeling. Usually they held such sorrow and pain. But right now they were a mixture of concern and if she wasn't mistaken anger.

"Angel?"

There was no way to describe the relief that flooded him. It was one thing to hear that she was going to be fine and another to actually see proof that Willow was going to be all right. But the sensation didn't last long, when the memory of what he had gone through the last week plus the reality of what he could have lost came back to him he suddenly saw red.

The urge to gather her up in his arms and rain kisses of gratitude and love all over her face and the need to scream and holler his frustration at her warred inside. His hands itched to feel the creamy smoothness of her skin, and wrapped his hands around her delicate throat.  So he just stood there, scowling at her instead.

Dr. Lenzo cleared his throat, feeling very uncomfortable. The room was unnaturally quiet, the buzzing from the overhead fluorescent lights almost deafening.

Wanting answers, but not liking the look on Angel's face, Willow tried again to sit up, only to have Angel's hand press down on her to keep her still. The longer he stayed silent the more worried she became. He had to know everything. How could he not? That was the only explanation for the angry look on his face. He probably hated her now... Dear Goddess did Buffy know?

Whatever had led up to her being taken to the doctors had to have been bad enough for Cordelia to call for help. Trying to search her mind she couldn't recall anything horrible happening.

Licking her lips she let her eyes drop from Angel's intense stare and looked over to the doctor. He looked like a nice enough person. His eyes were compassionate, the smile on his lips genuine. He was on the short side, even shorter looking standing next to Angel's brood frame and intimidating height. What was left of the man's graying hair was combed over his balding head.

Looking from the vampire to the witch and back again, the doctor let out a snort of disgust. "Hello Miss. Rosenberg, I'm Dr. Lenzo."

"Wh-What happened?" Trying to keep her eyes on the doctor's she tried to make herself calm down.

"How about we leave that for another day?" Patting her shoulder, he made a swipe at Angel's hand that kept the poor girl pinned to the table. Giving the vampire a look that clearly asked if he'd lost his mind, Angel stepped away from the table. "Right now you need some TLC and sleep."

Her forehead scrunched at his words as worry crept into her eyes. "Is there something wrong? Is the baby all right?" She had never experienced panic in this extreme before. Where it felt as though someone had punched through her chest bone and grabbed her heart, squeezing so tight that it became painful to breath.

"No, nothing. This worrying is only going to make you sick." Looking back over his shoulder at Angel, Dr. Lenzo felt like whacking the vampire upside the head. "You just need to take it easy for the next few days is all. Do you have anyone that can help you?"

"I'm going to." His words were forced out between clenched teeth.

"Why aren't you the lucky lady?" The doctor's sarcasm could've hit the broadside of a barn.

The mansion always creeped him out. No matter how many lights were on, the shadows always looked ready to swallow him whole. It didn't help that the man that had originally built the place ended up going stark raving mad and killed his entire family while they slept. And now as luck would have it, it was now his new home.

Xander nearly jumped out of his skin when the burning logs in the fireplace readjusted, sending out sparks and making loud snapping noises. He wished that Cordelia would just put off her unpacking until tomorrow, like when there was less darkness and creepy noises that came from within the house.

"Hey here's a disturbing question." Cordelia's voice bounced off the walls as she walked into the living room. Xander's heart permanently lodged itself high up in his throat at the suddenness of her voice. "What room do you think Drucilla and Spike shared?"

A thoughtful look flashed across Xander's colorless face. "God I didn't even think of that."

"This place is just creepy. I mean you know that some whacked out woman killed her family while they were asleep here right?"

"No it was the father." Xander corrected, she looked ready to argue when they both stopped and looked at one another. Ghost stories and arguing slipped their minds as their gazes locked.

They hadn't really talked much on the way back to Sunnydale. Other worries and concerns tugged at their minds and neither was ready to talk. "Why didn't you come to me, I would've helped you know."

A bitter look crossed Cordelia's eyes, as she looked away. "Not before you went running to Buffy first." The moment the words were out of her mouth she regretted saying anything. It had sounded a lot more stupid spoken out loud than in her mind. She may be catty at times, and her honesty might cut to the bone at others. But stupidity never looked on her.

For once Buffy had nothing to do with the badness that was going on. A rare and freakish event in itself. But in her exhaustion she felt a little catty. She had been scared and exhausted with no one to really turn to. She made herself push all her insecurities down to look strong for Willow, and now she was acting out.

"What do you mean?" Xander rose from the couch, gone was the boyish scared expression.

"Xander it's nothing. You know me, always talking before I think." Trying to wave off her words, she took a seat on Angel's couch, watching the flames in the fireplace dance as her emotions inside collided with one another.

"Do you really doubt that I would've helped?" His voice was caught between hurt from her lack of faith in him, and anger that he ever thought she would trust him enough. This is what it would always boil down to in their relationship. To her he was Mr. Clown guy. Always good for a laugh, but when it came to serious grown-up stuff he just wasn't smart enough to help out.

"It has nothing to do with what I wanted, it was Willow's secret, not mine. She didn't want anyone else to know."

Xander mulled this over. She was right, he couldn't fault her for being a friend. Everyone else may think of Cordelia as some flighty socialite without a loyal bone in her body. But he knew different. He had the special honor of being allowed a few rare glimpses of the real Cordelia Chase. Behind the icy cold looks and sharp tongue laid a kind and caring woman. She just wasn't allowed out to play all that often.

"Xander really, I'm just having a turrets kind of day. I did miss you, and I was going to call, really I was." Finding a comfortable position on the couch she pulled him down to her side. "She's going to okay right?"

"Willow? Of course she is. Especially if Angel has anything to say about it." Taking her hand in his, they both sat quietly.

"I was so scared." A silent sob escaped Cordelia's chest as she tucked her head on his shoulder. "She was so sick, and I had no idea what to do."

His heart broke as tears slipped from her eyes and soaked his tee-shirt. Rubbing small circles on her back, Xander rocked her as she cried. Through her hiccups she told him the whole story. From finding their shy and timid friend curled up on her bathroom floor, to leaving Sunnydale and Willow getting sick.

"I have no idea what I would've done if you and Angel hadn't shown up." Sitting up and wiping the tears with the back of her hand. She sniffed a few times. "I really tried to be strong for her."

"You don't always have to be strong all of the time you know. Sometimes you can just be you." Xander chuckled at her indignant snort. "Especially if we're all going to be living in this big ole scary house like one big dysfunctional family."

"This place is a little creepy." Happy to get off the topic that had to do with the turmoil they'd been through the last few weeks. Cordelia looked around the large front room that served as the living room. There was no doubt that when it came to decorating Angel did have talent. But not even Martha Stewart on a pastel high could make this hunk of cement homey.

"Perhaps we could charge people to tour this place. You know kinda like the haunted house at the amusement park." Giving off a loud laugh that bounced off the walls, Cordelia settled against Xander's chest as they thought of ways they could liven up their new residence as they waited for Angel to bring Willow home.  

~~~part nineteen~~~

So this was how it felt when your heart broke into millions of tiny razor sharp pieces. First there was the pain of ones chest freezing, making it hard to breathe, as the first twinge starts as a pinprick. That soon spreads, and when it seems that the pain can't get any worse that's when it shatters. One minute your numb, the next your heart explodes sending microscopic shards through your bloodstream.

This was what ate away at Willow as Angel drove her back from the doctor's office. Not saying a word as his eyes stayed glue to the road in front of him. The worst part had be having to watch the warmth leave Angel's eyes and seeing the hard coldness seep in when she first awoke. Never in her life had she witnessed such contempt before, much less had been the reason for it.

The knowledge made her want to huddle into a corner and cry herself into a coma. It's not as though she thought that Angel was going to be doing cartwheels over the fact that she pretty much ruined his life. It's not everyday you find out that you knocked up your girlfriend's ho of a best friend up in one of your dreams.

How was it that in the dreams Angel was always able to make her feel that what they were doing was not only okay, but it was as natural as breathing? With just a simple word, or a gentle touch he was able to drive off all her insecurities. But here in reality, the way he was acting made her feel dirty. Made her realize that everything bad she thought of herself to be true, only multiplied by a thousand.

Angel was lost in his thoughts. It seemed as though he hadn't really had the chance to sit down and analyze all the changes that had taken place over the last few weeks. All of his energy and attention had been focused on finding Willow, and now that she was safe there were so many things that he needed to face.

Mostly his newly found feelings for the beautiful redhead, the new baby growing now inside her womb. How he had to explain to her that in order to stay healthy she had to consume a pint of his blood each day. Lastly there was no forgetting that he had invited two very loud, very opinionated, and extremely neglected teens to come and move in with him and Willow.

He was way in over his head, he knew what he had done had been the right thing. All of it. From taking the responsibility of taking care of Willow, to stepping forward and taking over the supervision of Xander and Cordelia. Though the three were young adults and had basically been taking care of themselves for years now, he knew they all needed that something stable in their lives. Something consistent. Though he may not be the award winner in the stable category, but he knew he sure as hell was better than the pathetic excuses their parents were. And he knew he could be consistent, it was the least they all deserved.

But Willow...God he hoped she'd allow him to be more than all that in her life. He may not deserve someone like her, but with every fiber of his being he wanted to be a part of her life. With the memories of the dreams, the knowledge of everything that transpired between them in their little world, he would be left a broken man if she turned her back on him now.

He needed to let her know he just didn't trust himself at that moment to speak. There was still too much anger still raging inside. Not at her, because he understood what she did. Could grasp the panic she must have been feeling. But how close he had come to losing her and their baby.

He'd tell her... soon.

"Ah... Angel you just passed my street." Her words were barely a whisper, as her brow knotted together.

"I know." He had meant for the words to be spoken softly, but even to him the words sounded cold.

Wanting to ask where they were going, she didn't dare. His tone said it all and it seemed to be the best bet to just keep her mouth shut.

The sound of the front door brought Xander out of one really wild dream about him, a circus monkey and his fifth period math teacher. Blinking a few times trying to remember where he was.

"Is Angel and Willow back?" Cordelia yawned into his chest as she stretched.

"I hope so, cause I really don't want to think about who'd be stupid enough to sneak into Angel's home." Xander shifted her off his chest and eased himself off the couch. The sound of the front door echoed through the room, and Xander looked around for a weapon just incase they had some unwanted company.

"What are you doing here?" Xander jumped, whipping his head toward the shadows.

"Buffy?" Cordelia strained her neck to look around Xander. What a great way to top off the night. A visit from Sunnydale's very own unhinged Slayer. No one had mentioned how she was going to react to all the changes that were about to be thrown into her face. And oddly Cordelia really didn't want to be there when Cry-Buffy found out. Under any other circumstances she'd love to see the blonde knocked down a peg or two, but this was some serious crap and not worth sitting around to see the aftermath.

"Cordelia?" Buffy stepped out of the shadows her eyes in angry slits as she glared. "Where's Willow?"

Xander could feel the tension in the room multiply as the two young women faced off. He knew Cordelia long enough to see her tight-lipped expression that this encounter was not going to go well. Buffy never really liked not having her questions answered. Where some people tended to get a little nervous about Buffy's ability to cause them harm, Cordelia defiantly didn't fall into that category.

"Buffy, great to see you." Taking a step in front of Cordelia, he temporarily broke their eye lock. "What has you out at such a late hour?"

"I was looking for Angel." The words were void of warmth.

"Ah..." Xander nodded. "He isn't here." Praying that she'd except that for an answer, Xander sent his blonde friend a shaky smile. "But hey we'll tell him that you stopped by."

"What are you two doing here?" Buffy watched as Xander's face turned a pasty white.  A loud snort came from behind him, as Cordelia stepped to the side. Screw not wanting to see Buffy's expression, this would so be worth it.

"We're here because-."

Quickly spinning around Xander glared at his girlfriend. "Angel asked us to stay put until he got back." Sending a message with his eyes, he was relieved to see Cordelia roll hers back at him and shrug her shoulders.

"Where did he go?" Shrugging out of her black leather jacket indicating to Xander and Cordelia that she wasn't leaving anytime soon. Casting a thoughtful glance in Cordelia's direction her eyes narrowed just briefly. "Is Willow with him?"

Cordelia was dying inside to say something. But the only thing that it would accomplish would be embarrass Willow and piss off Angel. So smartly she stayed silent, as did Xander next to her.  "Well? Are you going to tell me where she is?"

Looking back and forth at the two silent Scoobies Buffy let out a sigh of disgust. "No? So maybe perhaps then one of you can enlighten me as to why Willow and Cordelia  would leave town without a word. I can't even start to tell you how childish that was." Crossing her arms over her chest she gave Cordelia a demeaning look.

If there ever was a straw that broke the camel's back this sure won the prize. The straw was so humungous that all three little piggies could've built a mansion with it.

"You of all people have no room to talk." Cordelia stepped out from behind Xander, ready for war. "If I'm not mistaken you were the little Slayer who went all MIA over the summer. You left us here to do *your* duties. Did you ever really think about that? No wait, don't answer that cause I'll be more than happy to. No you didn't. We knew nothing. We didn't know if the recursing worked. If you were dead, or Angelus or both of you. It was the three of us who had to forgo our summers to keep this town safe. Giles was gone more than he was here, so we were working blind. Did you know that Stanford accepted Willow for a summer program? But she had to turn them down.  So I guess you could say that your *childish* behavior ruined that chance for Willow. "

Buffy opened and closed her mouth a few times until she was finally able to speak. "She never said anything."

"Color me surprised." Rolling her hazel eyes at the blonde. "No, Willow wouldn't have. I always wondered. When you two talk what or should I say who do you talk about?" Seeing that Buffy's checks and neck were getting flushed Cordelia knew she didn't need an answer. "What we do or don't do in our lives doesn't need your stamp of approval."

"I never said that you did!" Taking a threatening step toward the brunette Buffy wished she could just have one clean shot at Cordelia.

"Now ladies." Jumping in between the two females Xander tired to separate the two.

"Shut up Xander!" Both females shouted.

"No but God-forbid when you're inconvenienced. It's not so fun being on the other side of the vacation is it?" Raising a brow in question Cordelia smirked at Buffy's angry expression.

"Everything was fine until you got your stuck-up nose into everything. Willow would never have run off if you hadn't influenced her!"

The smirk on Cordelia's face vanished as she tried to push Xander out of the way. "Are you blind as well as dumb? Couldn't you see that something was wrong with Willow? I know you all think that I am some stuck up princess, but even this bitchy royal saw that Willow needed someone. Perhaps you should pull your head out of your--."

"What's going on here?" Angel's voice boomed, echoing off walls. Making Buffy, Xander and Cordelia jump a mile high.

Taking an involuntary step back Buffy looked from Angel to Cordelia, wiping the angry look off her face. "I came here looking for you but instead got attacked by Queen C." Her pitiful expression fell when she saw that Willow stood just a few feet behind Angel, her face white as a sheet. "Willow?"

"Hi Buffy." The redhead mumbled with a shaky voice.

"Willow, buddy." Xander hurried over and wrapped his arms around his friends trembling shoulders. "Everything is going to be fine. I promise." He whispered into her ear.

"I was so worried." Cordelia pushed Xander out of the way and hugged Willow to her.

Buffy watched the exchange and felt lost. There was something going on and she wanted to know now. "Angel what's going on? Where did you find them?"

Angel's face remained stone cold as he turned his eyes her way. "I wasn't the only one that found them. It was Xander that came up with something that help us find them."

"That's it, no other explanation? I want to know what's going on. My best friend goes missing, you don't talk to me in over a week because you were so obsessed with finding her. I'm your girlfriend and I deserve to know."

Willow watched as Angel's jaw tightened. "Buffy right now isn't the right time."

"Perhaps we should go." Willow whispered to Xander and Cordelia, and Buffy caught the words. "That's probably a good idea, I really need to speak with Angel alone. I'm sure Xander and Cordy wouldn't mind taking you home. I am glad that you're ok."

"She is home." Angel's words silenced the room. "In fact of three of them are home."

"Angel I can't live here." Willow looked ready to throw up.

"You're not leaving. I'm too tired to have to run after you again." His words were a little harsh, but it was the worry in his eyes that made Willow nod mutely.

Buffy's mouth hung open, as she blinked at him. "Are you joking?" Looking around at Xander and Willow's uncomfortable expressions to Cordelia's smug one Buffy felt her world spinning out of control. "Why?"

"Like I said Buffy right now isn't a good time. It's late and you all have school tomorrow and Willow and Cordelia have a lot of catching up to do."

Angel went to turn his back on her but her hand shot out and grabbed the front of his shirt. "You're not my father Angel, you're my boyfriend. I know I have school tomorrow. We *are* going to talk about this, or its over."

Grabbing her wrist Angel leaned his head closer to hers. "Buffy this is a game that you are going to lose. We do need to talk but not right now. I have other things right now to worry about than soothing some spoiled brats hurt ego."

Buffy gasped and with her other hand slapped Angel, knocking his head to one side. "How dare you. I don't know what's wrong with you, but I do know this. We are over. Do you understand me?"

Angel pulled his shirt free from her grasp and gave a harsh laugh. "I told you not to push me tonight Buffy." Taking a threatening step forward he stopped when his face was inches from hers. "It's been over for awhile, but I was so busy trying to be the Angel that everyone expected me to be to realize it. I felt so damn guilty for what Angelus did that I felt that I had to act a certain way, say certain things, or all of you would alienate me. And to tell you the truth I really don't think I could've handled that when I got back from hell. I needed to have you all around me, each of you makes me a part of the world again instead of hiding in the shadows."

"What are you saying?"

Willow held her breath when Angel's eye's skipped her way.

"Angel?"

"Buffy I will always love you-."

"And I will always love you."

Angel face softened as he took a step away from Buffy. "No you need to listen to me Buffy. I will always love you. But I'm not in love with you anymore, honestly I haven't been in love with you since your birthday when..."

Buffy's eyes searched his face trying to find proof that he was lying. "You can't mean this Angel. I know you. I know that you are in love with me!"

"I'm sorry Buffy really I am. There's more but I really don't want to get into it tonight please. I am tired, and--."

"You're tearing my life apart and all you can think about is sleep?"  Turning her head away from him her, she noticed that she had forgotten that they weren't alone in the room. "There's something going on." A renewed light in her eyes beamed as she turned back to Angel. "That's why you're pushing me away. You want to protect me. Tell me what it is. Let me help."

"Buffy I won't lie, I don't want to see you hurt, really. But what's going on has nothing to do with you." Angel answered sadly. "And right now isn't the right time. Please don't make this any harder on yourself. It's over."  

~~~part twenty~~~

No one breathed, moved or blinked. Angel's words hung in the air. The finality of the words was harshly spoken out of frustration. Buffy stood, rooted in place as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. Her and Angel were always having their little falling-outs. Throwing barbs and ultimatums at one another came as natural as breathing.

But his words rang with finality. Never did she think that she'd see a day that Angel would actually break it off from her so completely. "You don't mean that."

Seeing the hurt and betrayal in Buffy's eyes made him wish that she hadn't pushed so hard. The stress he was under, mixed with the new emotions he had for Willow were enough to throw his world off tilter. If she would've just listened this could've gone so differently. Not that she wouldn't get hurt by softly spoken words, but honestly she deserved a little compassion. "Yes Buffy I do. This thing between us had never been healthy. I'm not saying that I never loved you because I did. You were everything to me."

"You're still everything to me!" Tears were pooling in her eyes as she saw the determined look on his face.

"Buffy I'm not." Remembering that they had an audience Angel shifted uneasily. "You'll always be an important part in my life. But you're no longer my life."

The words were like a slap in the face. Biting her lower lip to hold the sob was gathering in her chest, she took a step back. "Don't say that. Angel I know that you don't mean that. You love me."

"Buffy stop making this so hard on yourself, please." His chest tightened at her pain.

"If I walk out that door it's over." Anger chased away the agony in her heart, as Buffy wiped the tears off her face.

"I know Buffy. I just hope that you understand one day that this is for the best. We can't go on with this lie...I won't." His eyes darkened as he saw another argument grow in her eyes.

Without another word Buffy spun on her heel, only to stop. "Willow come on I'll walk you home."

Angel reached out and grabbed Willow's hand possessively. "I wasn't lying Buffy, she is home. As well as Xander and Cordelia."

Crossing her hands over her chest and tipping her head to the side, Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Willow is that what you want?"

Through their joined hands Angel could feel Willow's pulse quicken and her palms grow clammy. Swearing under his breath he wished that she hadn't been put into this position. But at the same time he'd be damned if he just let her leave without a fight.

Willow knew where she wanted to be. Every fiber in her body demanded she stay. But the cold calculating look that Buffy was sending her way clearly portrayed that the slayer was drawing the line. That the decision made tonight would impact their friendship in the future.

"I'm staying Buffy." Her voice was low, barely above a whisper, but the conviction behind the words wasn't hard to miss.

Buffy's smug expression faltered, clearly unprepared for that answer. "Fine." The blonde said between clenched teeth. "But I know something is going on here, and trust me I will find out what it is." Sending glare over at Xander and Cordelia, Buffy stormed out of the house.

"Anyone else remember that scary Judge guy?" Xander's voice cracked as he licked parched lips.

"Uh huh." Cordelia and Willow answered as Angel winced at the memory.

"This was a whole lot scarier."

"Uh huh."

"But no blood." Xander chirped, putting his hands into his pockets, clearly feeling uncomfortable with what he had just witnessed. "When there's a mad Buffy to deal with and no blood is spilled well that's a good thing." The girls just nodded out of habit, as though hearing Xander's babble was second nature.

"I'm sorry about that." All of a sudden he felt his two hundred and forty some years. It had been a long week, even a longer day and it felt as though all the energy had been sucked from his body.  He could see on the other's faces that they felt the same. Everything had been turned upside down and inside out in just a matter of seven days.  "How about we all get some sleep, I'll call you all in sick tomorrow so we can talk."

"No school you say?" Xander gave him a lop sided grin. Taking his girlfriend's hand he headed for the stairs. "Well see you two in the morning. Cordy and I are just going to find ourselves a--." Cordelia pulled her hand back and looked ready to put Xander in his place.

"Harris." Angel's voice stopped him. "You all may be invited to stay here. But not so you can shack up with your girlfriend. Willow and Cordy are staying in my bed tonight." Seeing the look on the young man's face Angel let out a long sigh. "Get your head out of the gutter. My room is the cleanest one in the house. So until tomorrow when we can clean out some rooms...*three* rooms, they'll stay in there."

Willow imagined sleeping in Angel's bed. With his sheets that smelled like him wrapped around her body. It was too much. Almost too personal. She had no idea what was going on, or what Angel had planned. Plus having been witness to the break up of the century, it was enough to make her head swim.

Feeling Willow fidgeting at his side he risked a glance down at her. He knew he was overstepping his boundaries here. But with her ready to run out the door at any moment he needed to take the upper hand. Her lower lip was being tortured by her gnawing teeth, as she seemed to contemplate something.  There was no doubt that if she bit any harder that she'd break the skin.

Bring a thumb to her chin, he applied enough pressure to make her release her swollen lip. Her eyes darted up to his, and the look of trepidation made him drop his hand back to his side. "I swear Willow we'll figure this all out. One way or another."

~~~*~~~

It was well past noon the next day before Willow started to stir. When her eyes started to crack open she let out a low moan as she stretched out her legs underneath the black silk sheets. Her body felt like lead and her head all woozy. Trying to snuggle back under the covers and block out reality, a loud thump at the bedroom door made her jump.

"Time to rise and shine." Xander's overly cheerful voice bounced of the bare walls and through Willow's head. "Angel said for you two to get dressed and downstairs in twenty. He's making breakfast." The thought of food brought a hand to Willow's mouth as she felt her stomach heave. Leaping out of bed she scrambled about until she got her bearings and ran to the bathroom door.

"Was it something I said?"

Pushing herself to a sitting position, Cordelia let out a yawn and shook her head. "Nope just the joy of pregnancy." The sounds coming from the bathroom made Xander turn a very unpleasant shade of green as he tried not to gag. "See you downstairs?"

"Yes." The words were barely out of her mouth when Xander disappeared. "Men." Throwing back the covers, Cordelia took a look around the room in mild interest. Last night it had been too dark, and she had been too tired to really care what the room had looked like.

It was alot different than she had expected. From some reason she had expected some rip off of Count Dracula or something. Not that the furniture wasn't old, most of it probably outdated her grandparents. There wasn't much that filled the large room, dresser, chair, nightstand, and bed. The walls were bare, she had thought for sure he'd have some old paints at least. Slipping out of bed and walking over to the closet with a slight grin on her face, she creaked the door open.

"I knew it."

"Knew what?" Willow asked from behind.

"That there wouldn't be one paste or light color in his entire wardrobe." Pushing the door further open so Willow could see for herself.

"Oh his crimson shirt." In a little better mood, Willow took the crimson shirt from the closet and rubbed the velvety material across her cheek. "This is my favorite."

"Nah that midnight blue silk one." Shifting through the hangers, Cordelia smiled in triumph when she found the garment.

"What are we doing?" Placing Angel's shirt back into the closet, Willow stepped back and put a hand to her head. "I mean we shouldn't be here. And after last night with Buffy..."

"She got what she asked for. Angel told her he didn't want to talk. I'm sure if she would have just backed off like he asked he wouldn't have been so harsh with her." Not really caring about Cry-Buffy, Cordelia went to the bathroom that Willow had just vacated, relieved to see a pile of her clean clothes folded neatly on the counter. "And why we're here. I guess Angel will answer that question over breakfast." Leaning out the door, Cordelia frowned slightly at Willow's dazed look. "Are you sure the doctor said you were all right?"

"Yes. I told you last night. I passed with flying colors."

"Just like that?" Seeing the odd look on Willow's face Cordelia continued. "You scared me last night Willow. I just want to make sure you're all right."

"Cordy I'm fine really. Take a shower so we can get downstairs before Angel and Xander kill each other." With a quick nod Cordelia shut the door, and soon water could be heard running.

~~~*~~~

"So Angel I have to know, where did all the human food come from?" Xander stole another piece of freshly cut pineapple from the cutting board where Angel was busy cutting up fresh fruit.

"I couldn't sleep, so before sunrise I went to the market." A low growl vibrated in his throat as Xander reached for another piece. "Can you get the tomato juice out of the refrigerator?" . Making a face Xander reached for the juice. "My Grandmother drinks this stuff. Of course there's usually vodka mixed in. What poor spa has to drink this?"

Frowning a bit, Angel set down the knife and picked up the juice to take a sniff. I didn't smell that bad, and it was the only thing he could think of to slip his blood into three times a day without her knowing. It wasn't as though he wasn't going to tell her, but well there was so much that she already had to deal with, he wanted to lessen the load for her.

"Willow is."

"Really? Maybe you should talk to her about the last time my Grandmother came to town and threw up all over her shoes. You may find out that she's not too partial to tomatoie drinks."

"Crap." Setting the container down with a sigh, Angel tried to rack his brain for some other way to give Willow his blood.

"Oh my God this is about the blood she needs isn't it?" Xander's words stared out loudly, only ending up in a harsh whisper as he looked over his shoulder. "You didn't tell her? Didn't the doctor?"

"I asked him not too. He gave me a week to tell her."

"Angel you can't just go around slipping people your blood, i-it's wrong .Not to mention gross!"

Taking a look at the entry to make sure they were still alone, Angel sighed in frustration. "Tell me honestly Xander. After everything that Willow has been through, how do you think she'll take the news that she has to have a pint of my blood everyday?"

Xander stood silently mulling over the question. "So tomato juice all around?" Taking down three glasses Xander started to pour the red substance into each glass. Blowing out a lung full of air, he handed Angel one as the vampire picked up the knife he had been using to cut the fruit.

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