~~~Part One~~~ by Chrissy

Tapping her pen restlessly on her desk, Cordelia glanced towards the clock hanging on the wall for the third time in ten minutes. It was just another day at the office. Gunn and Wesley were fighting over which weapon was better suited to decapitate a Triasrel demon. Fred was nose deep, literally, into one of her new inventions. Angel was hiding *again* in some dark, dank corner of the hotel, reading from some book that probably had more fungus growing on it, then the Chinese take-out that sat in the back of her fridge.

Tapping her foot in time with the pen, Cordelia really hoped that Angel knew what a great friend she was. Actually she was an incredible friend, not everyone had a friend that would go snooping through their stuff and read their personal journal because of a hunch they had. Oh God she was going to fry. There was no question about it.

"Cordelia what do you think? The double handed Ksutuvian sword that was made by an extinct sect of the Brotherhood of Yusium." Wesley asked waving his weapon inches in front of her face.

"Or this bad ass Hand and a *half* sword my boys made me?" Gun stepped in front of Wesley, showing her his shiny new toy.

"First of all what can you do with half a hand? Second of all you two really need dates... badly." Cordelia stood from her desk and walked around the two, making sure to stay clear of the sharp pointy swords they were holding. "Why don't you guys take Fred and do something, anything. If she puts her face any further into that...that thingamabob I'm scared she's gonna cut her nose off."

"Well we could step out for some fresh air." Wesley nodded as he suspiciously eyed Gunn. Both men's eyes darted to an oblivious Fred, each looking as though they were some old western gunfighters waiting for the other to drawl.

"Oh will you two stop it! You guys are like little boys. Fred the guys are about to leave and want to know if you'd to join them." Cordelia bellowed none to gracefully. Pulling herself together she beamed innocently at the two men. "Well see ya. Have fun. No need to hurry back!" No one moved and Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Shoo, out." Waving her arms at the trio, Cordelia ushered them to the entrance. "There's a big wide world out there." As soon as they were gone, she sighed in relief.

Taking another look at the clock, Cordelia headed back to her desk and picked up the phone. Dialing the number she knew by heart and waited.

"Hello."

"Lorne they're gone. Is everything set?"

"Sweetie, the laugh factor aside, are you sure you want to do this to Angel Cakes?"

"No. But his soul is permanent, you said so yourself and all he does is sit around here moping. Plus I know Willow, and she's just not the type that would follow her heart if she knew it would hurt people."

"I'm not saying that the basic plan is bad. But-."

"No Lorne, I've thought it through and this is the best way. Plus I still owe him for the time he made me dress up like a belly dancer." Hanging up the phone, Cordelia rubbed her hands together steadying her nerves.

Standing up she headed off to find where her friend was hiding.

Angel sat in his favorite chair, his favorite book closed on his lap. Cordy called it brooding, but lately it was more like daydreaming. He could sit for
hours, staring at nothing, dreaming of an impish little redhead. The fantasies changed, but the endings always remained the same. He and Willow together, happily ever after.

He knew he could physically pursue what was dearest to his heart. But emotionally too many people factored into the equation. Plus there was the whole different cities different paths issue. Moving to LA was the right decision for him to make, not only was he needed here, but his life was here now. His work, his friends, all he was missing was a red haired little witch. She had Sunnydale, lives deepened on her there whether they knew it or not. Her school was there, plus the close group of friends she had know for the majority of her life.

"There you are!" Angel nearly jumped at Cordelia's reprimanding tone and looked over at her guiltily. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"I was just-."

"Brooding, reading, whatever." Cordelia waved a hand. "The guys took Fred out, and I was wondering if you wanted to join me for coffee tonight." <Join me for coffee? Gee that was original. >

"Why didn't you go the others?"

"I didn't want to leave you sitting here all alone...in the dark...with a closed book on your lap." Flashing the brightest smile she could muster,
Cordelia stepped forward only to stop with a loud moan. Her hands went quickly to her head as she fell toward the floor. As predicted Angel was there to catch her before her head bounced off the floor, holding on tight as she started to thrash around.

Biting her tongue to produce real tears Cordelia thrashed a little more for good measure, stopping to whimper into his chest. "Oh my God it's horrible.
There was so much blood...and-and Willow! Willow was there! Angel you have to do something!"

Angel's hold on his friend tightened when he heard Cordelia say that Willow was in danger. "Where? Did you see where?"

"It didn't make sense. It seemed to be some kind of bar. But there was only females sitting around...wait! There was a stage. It was a strip bar!"

Angel paused. "A strip bar? Why would Willow be in a bar watching women dance?"

Pushing herself from Angel's hold Cordelia struggled to her feet. "She wasn't watching women you idiot. It was a male strip club." Heading to the phone that sat next to his bed, Cordelia started dialing.

"Who are you calling?"

"Mother Theresa... Willow. I need to make sure that she stays in until we figure out what's going on." Rolling her eyes at the handsome vampire she turned her back to him. "Hello? Dawnie? Is Willow there? She isn't...where did she go?... Anya? ...Are you sure? ...Thanks."

"Well?"

"Anya picked her up about five minutes ago. Did you know that it's Willow's birthday today?"

"Yeah." Angel looked away. He had sent her a card. He had wanted to send her a gift, but he couldn't find anything that wouldn't betray his true feelings for her.

"Well Anya and Buffy had this big ole birthday night out thing, but something came up and Buffy had to bail out at the last second." Cordelia rushed, wringing her hands together. "Anya and Willow are on their way to LA."

"So you want the good news or the bad news?" Cordelia asked as she set down the phone. They had been *researching* the local strip clubs around the LA area. Angel getting more frustrated by the minute. The sun had set over an hour ago, when Cordelia had *miraculously* across the right club.

"Good news." Angel pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I found the club I had the vision of."

"Bad news."

This was too easy. "It's a females only bar. The bartender said that because of past problems with jealous boyfriends, they won't allow males inside the club unless they work there." Cordelia held her breath. This was the moment of truth.

"Meaning?"

"How do you look in a G-String?"
 

~~~Part Two~~~ by Ange

Angel looked at Cordelia as if she had lost her mind and just spoken to him in Latin.  "A G-String?  Why would I need one?" he asked his best friend,
unsure yet if she was serious or not.

"Duh!  Aren't you listening to me?"  Cordelia asked, knowing that an award worthy performance was going to be required for the plan to go any
further.  "No men allowed in the bar, unless they're working.  Do I need to spell this out for you?"  Pausing a moment to let her eyes wander over
Angel for effect, she continued on.  "You've been around a long time you should already know this.  I get that they probably didn't even have strip
clubs in your day and if they did it meant maybe seeing a petticoat and maybe a little ankle, but girls now a day want to see skin and lots of it.  I suppose you could offer to go G-Stringless, but I'm pretty sure that's not even legal.  And can you say Ewww?  I'm already going to need years of therapy after this, without the added trauma of seeing you naked."

"You don't think I'd look good wearing nothing but a G-String?"  Not that it should matter what Cordy thought, but it hurt none the less.  He'd
supported her during the worst of her fashion blunders and she couldn't have a little sympathy for him?

"I don't know," Cordelia replied, giving him another critical once over.  "You've got a little blood belly going on, we're going to have to cut back on the O pos and go for the less appealing but lower in fat plasma if you don't watch it."  She added with a gentle pat to his still flat stomach.  Angel might be male, but she knew that he could be as vain about his looks as any woman.  And with this knowledge she had him eating out of the palm of her hand.  "Maybe we should go with something not so 'here I am in all my glory', you're more of a 'I'm here, but don't look at me' kind of guy.  How about the Hugh Heffner look?  You'd look ok in silk boxers and a matching robe.  That way no one notices your tummy and not so tone backside."

"Not tone?  I'm way tone!"  Angel protested.  He might not be able to see himself in the mirror, but he knew for a fact that he didn't have a blood
belly or a flabby butt.  He wouldn't get the reactions he did from some of their female clients if he did.  "I'd look great in a G-String, no matter what you think."

"Glad you think so, you're going to get your chance to prove it.  Willow's future happiness is going to depend on your performance."  Giving Angel no
time to back out or have second thoughts, Cordy rushed on making plans.  "You can't dance, so we're going to have to depend on your body as it is to get you in the door.  We'll try and find an appropriate song for you on the drive over to the bar, and we'll have to stop at a lingerie shop and pick something out for you to wear.  What ever it is, no black, I'm thinking maybe red or blue, although you'd look great in gold lame, or maybe silver sequins."

Angel blanched at her words.  There was no way he was wearing sequined anything.  "Couldn't I just break down the door and grab Willow?  That's
more my style."  He couldn't even make himself say gold lame, not without shuddering.

"Not a chance, I don't like this any more then you do Angel, but you're going to have to dance.  This is to save Willow, not for anyone's personal
enjoyment."  At least not immediately, the enjoyment came after Angel and Willow were back at the hotel, and Lorne got her the video that was going to be made of this performance.  Once Gunn, Wes and Fred got a load of what she'd done, that's when the enjoyment factor came into play.  She might even make a few bucks off of the deal in the end, if she played her cards right.

Angel didn't like his seer's tone of voice.  She'd switched gears way to quick for this not to have been a set up.  He went to say something, but
Cordelia cut him off.  "For Willow's future happiness.  No if's, ands or buts. unless it's yours in an itty bitty g-string.  Go get your wallet and let's go.  We have to get your costume, pick out a song and get body glitter.  Lots of body glitter."

"I said I'm sorry, I won't say it again.  It was an accident."  Anya told her friend as she gently slid the car into the only open spot at the rest area.  "It's just lucky that you haven't opened my last present.  Not only do you get to be surprised, but I'll know you actually wore what I bought for you."

Willow was blotting the iced macchiato that had been spilled down the front of her sweater during Anya's little bout of road rage.  "An accident is
when something that can't be prevented happens.  If you hadn't chased after that Jeep who cut us off, this might have been considered just an
accident."  She threw down the napkin that was doing absolutely no good, in disgust.  "I'm sending you the cleaning bill, assuming that the stain will
even come out.  This was my favorite sweater."

"It's purple and fuzzy and does nothing for you.  You'll look much better in what I bought you."  Anya dismissed everything Willow had said with a
wave of her hand.  "That man shouldn't have cut me off to begin with.  He obviously didn't know who he was messing with.  But I can guarantee he
won't ever cut another person off again.  I scared him so badly, that I almost felt bad for him when we passed him after he pulled off to the side of the highway.  Almost, but he still deserved it."

That part had been rather amusing, and if she hadn't of been soaked to the skin she would have laughed.  But the icy mess had immediately put her in a bad mood, or a worse mood if she were being honest with herself.  If anyone had asked, she never would have said that her ideal birthday would be spent going out with Anya for a rehearsal bachlorette party.  But no one had asked, and as Xander's best person and the stand in Maid of honor since Dawn was still a minor and according to Anya unable to plan a proper bachlorette party, she had to go.  If there had been a graceful way to get out of going out to clubbing with the bride-to-be, she hadn't been able to think of it.  "But what did my sweater ever do to you to deserve such treatment."

"It was purple and fuzzy.  Which would be fine for slippers.  But as far as sweaters go, it wasn't your best choice."  Anya reached into the back seat grabbing the medium sized wrapped box, and placed it on Willow's lap.  "Go put this on.  You'll be happier and dryer and it's much better suited for where we are going.  Xander helped pick it out, so you should like it."

Willow rolled her eyes, knowing that her taste in clothes and Xander's were totally different.  "I'm sure it'll be perfect, what ever you two picked."

"Of course, would I ever lead you astray?"  the former demon asked, shooing the redheaded witch out of the car.  "I'm going to call and make sure that everything is ok with Dawn and Xander.  I honestly don't know which one is the child between the two of them.  I don't like leaving them without supervision.  I thought about asking Spike to watch them, but that only makes things worse."

"Tell them I said hi, and that I wish I had agreed to get Dawn that fake ID so she could go with you instead of me.  She would have found all of this
quite amusing, in a 'nothing fazes me I'm a teenager' way."  Willow grumbled taking her present and holding it over her thoroughly iced chest.  "I guess it could be worse, I could be home having a private birthday pity party.  What ever Anya has planned can't be any worse then that."

Anya waited until she was sure Willow was out of earshot before dialing her contact in LA.  No need to give away the game yet, not when they were so close to giving the girl the best birthday present anyone could think of.  That is if you went for Tall, built and broody.

"Hello Doll, I've been waiting for your call.  Everything going as planned on your end?"  Lorne asked, unconcerned.  If anyone could pull this off it
was Anyanka.

"We're over halfway to LA, Willow's changing into her birthday present and we'll be on the road again soon.  You've taken care of everything on your
end right?  I'd have to call in a favor with D'Hoffryn because you screwed this up."  Not that she would really do that, Anya honestly liked the demon she'd met during her vengeance days.  "And Cordelia is clear on the not being able to have my Xander right?  I only agreed to help out if she knew that she couldn't have him anymore."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about there, Princess learned her lesson when it comes to the goofball.  She's moved on, and you should thank her.  If she hadn't of gone and made that wish, you wouldn't know your hunka hunka cuddly love."  Though he'd never met the infamous Xander Harris, from what he'd heard, the man had to be a saint to have put up with first Cordelia and then Anya the new human.  "You can keep your man, Cordy gets to play matchmaker and me, I get to sit back and watch while our boy broodsome squirms.  It was bad listening to him sing, but watching him try and dance?  I can't think of anything more entertaining to do on a Friday night."

"Then we need to find you a girl of your own when this is all done, amateur yenta is not an acceptable profession for Krevlornswoth of the Deathwok Clan.  Not nearly enough killing to make your mother proud.  You've been alone too long."

"Nothing short of me being dismembered by my relatives circled around and changed would make my mother proud, so I'm not too worried about what she thinks."  Lorne said with a small smile, having come to terms with his family on their impromptu journey to Pylea to fetch the princess.  "And lets just say I've got my eye on someone, just have to convince her that she wants to give me a chance.  She's not really the type that would normally fall for green and scaly, no matter how good I look."

"Tell me who she is, if she scorns you or even if she doesn't give you a chance to make your case, I'll call in a few favors.  I might not have my
powers anymore, but I met a lot of people over the years who owe me."  Anya looked up and saw Willow stalking back over to the car, and if the look on her face was any indication, she wasn't pleased.  "Keep that in mind Lorne, I've got to go.  There is one ticked off witch heading my way.  The way she's looking at me, I think that I may be on my way who is probably trying to convince herself that she doesn't want to turn me into a rat."

"Good luck doll, and stop by Caritas before you head out of town if you have a few minutes.  It's been too long since I've seen you."  Lorne would
have to do some tap dancing to keep Anya from calling in any favors on his behalf to get Cordelia to see him as less of a demon and as a man who cared for her.  But there was no way he was turning the former queen of vengeance back on his favorite princess.

"I'll try, promise."  Anya said as Lorne hung up the phone, and added for Willow's benefit as she walked up to the car, "And no more tying Xander up
Dawn.  I don't care if you are playing cowboys and Indians, I reserve all rights to tie my fiancé up and tell other women that they can't." Anya
snapped her cell phone shut and smiled at Willow.  "I knew you'd look great in that outfit.  The first one that Xander said I couldn't buy for you was
right on the mark.  You're going to knock them dead tonight."

Willow was livid.  She should have known that she couldn't trust Anya and Xander to pick out clothes for her, but unless she wanted to zap herself a new outfit and offend her moody friend, she was stuck.  "It's good to know Xander didn't have anything to do with this.  That's one less person I have to kill.  This is so not anything I'd wear Anya.  What made you do this?"  She ran her hand gingerly over the black leather mini, trying to
pull it down closer to her knees in hope of covering more of the fishnet stockings she was wearing.  There was no hope for the black leather
bustier, not unless Anya had some sort of cover up.  Which scared Willow even more, positive she couldn't trust Anya to pick out something tasteful, if this getup was any indication.  "I want to go home now, I'm not going out looking like this.  I promised no magic tonight, but I didn't promise to go out looking like a skanky ho.  And the only way I'm going to knock anyone dead is if you're planning on having your party in a biker bar."

"Now that's a thought, but I think our guests would prefer strippers to biker men."  Anya said thoughtfully.  "Just get in the car, you do look great.  It's a new look, and if you don't want to not end up an old maid, you've got to flaunt what you've got.  You've been single too long, and you're my new project."

"This isn't a new look."  The redhead said, getting into the car.  There was no arguing with Anya once she had her mind made up.  Wherever they were going, it was going to be with Willow in Leather and fishnet.  "This is Vamp Willow making a fashion comeback, without asking my permission."

"It's about time if you ask me.  No more fuzzy sweaters and pink kittens for you.  There's a woman under all that fluff and we're going to bring her
out."  Anya said, pleased that even though she didn't want to Willow was in the car and ready to leave.  She may not like it, but at least some part of the girl knew that this was for her own good.

"Does Xander know that you're as evil now as you were when you were actively pursuing a career in vengeance?  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with
my best friend getting married to someone with such nasty tendencies."

"He knows, but he forgets after lots of orgasms."  Willow cringed but Anya smiled knowingly.  "That's a lesson you might want to remember.  Lots of
orgasms can make everything better.  Maybe you'll find that out first hand."
 

~~~Part Three~~~ by Susi

"And what problem do we have now, Angel?" asked Cordy with a sigh, coming directly from the depth of her heart. If she had known that he would act like a total moron, she would have never said yes to the whole plan. "Are you coming? Now?"

Angel looked at the flashing neon-light of the shop, looked back at the dark-haired *monster* outside of his car and shook his head vehemently.

"Oh, come on, that's only..."

His dark eyes shot to her face. "Shhh, not so loud. I know what kind of shop that is," Angel hissed in a low voice at his, inwardly smirking, seer.

"Than act as an adult and get your big butt into *that* shop," returned Cordy with a snigger and opened the door of the car for him. "I thought you
care for Willow." She knew that was low, but it was fun to see the instant change in his posture. He was sooo whipped and didn't knew it.

With a heavy resigned sigh, Angel followed his *nemesis* to the shop, his steps slowing down with every meter. A demanding look from Cordy over her shoulder and he hurried to her side.

Cordy linked her arm with Angel's, just to be sure that he couldn't get away and pulled him to the entry. "What did they call you? Scourge of Europe? Hah!"

"We're searching for underwear," told Cordy the salesman, who practically undressed her with his eyes. "For men, something special, if you know what I mean" she added in a throaty sexy tone.

A big knowing grin appeared on the salesman's face, and with a wink at Angel, who thanked every goddess and god which he knew that vampire's couldn 't blush, he pointed with his thumb to the shelves. "Third rack, on the right side, Miss."

Cordy gave him one of her blinding thankful smiles, and dragged Angel along with her.

With every 'Ohhh' and 'Ahhh' from Cordy, who rummaged with indulgence through the pile of underwear, Angel winced more.

Triumphantly, Cordy turned around to Angel, a little piece of glittering *nothingness* dangling from her forefinger. "That's it, that's just perfect!"

He was asleep. And dreaming. The worst nightmare in his entire being. He dreamt that he was standing in a sex-shop and Cordy.... think of it... Cordy of all people, showed him a silver-grey G-string. And even better, now she ordered him to try it on. A hysterical laughter escaped him and the
'Dream-Cordy' said something, but he couldn't hear it. His borrowed blood roared in his ears and little silver stars danced before his eyes. Oh... oh
wait... wait... not stars... smileys? Since when...? And why... "Ouch!" Rapidly blinking to clear his fogged brain, Angel stared at the red mark on
his arm where he had pinched himself. Good, no dream. NO DREAM?!

Cordy barely suppressed a giggle at Angel's sight. He seemed to be paralyzed with fear and stared at the G-string as if it were a snake and he the
proverbial rabbit. "Gee, Angel! Pull yourself together. It's only a piece of clothing."

Angel snatched the cloth from her hand and growled at her. "I'm not wearing this... this... tasteless joke!"

She grabbed for it and said in her sweetest tone, while she looked him up and down, "You're right, it's definitely too big for you. I'll look for another one." One... two... th

"Too big? TOO BIG? I show you too big, missy," snarled Angel infuriated and went off to the cabin, the whole time muttering about women and their
incredible sizing.

Cordy's eyes widened. Angel... naked... naked Angel... ok almost naked Angel... Willow. Instantly she ran after him. "Angel, wait! It's late and we
have no time for fittings, just bye it." He turned and growled at her, his true face firmly in place and his razorsharp fangs slightly bared. "Stop it,
you're all 'Grrr'."

Angel hadn't noticed that his demon had surfaced and with an effort he pushed it back in it's cage. Relieved, Cordy took his arm and gently directed him to the checkout counter. "I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean to hurt your manliness. You will look great, believe me, all the women will lie at your feet. And you will get lots of money."

Not really feeling better about the little piece of cloth in his hand, Angel paid the horrendous prize and followed Cordy back to the car.

"That's not the way back to the hotel," stated Angel the obvious.

Cordy gave him a quick glance, before she explained the next step in his upcoming career as a stripper. "We have two more hours to get some rhythm into you. You're an awful singer, maybe you're a better dancer."

Angel frowned at her words, "I'm not so bad at singing." At her dismissive glare, Angel asked, "So bad?" Cordy nodded wildly. The dark haired vampire surrendered, but murmured to himself, "But I can dance."

The car shot into the free parking spot and halted with squeaking brakes. Cordy turned to the vampire beside her and said sternly, "Don't start again with your lamenting, just get out of my car and follow me." Before Angel could open his mouth, she fixed him with a glare. "Don't! Out... now!"

Obediently the master vampire followed the slim girl into the house, unaware of his surroundings, till the green owner greeted him enthusiastically. He laid an arm around the dazed vampires shoulder and led him to the stage.

"Angel-cakes, do you want a drink before you start shaking your hips for me?" Lorne's only answer was the loud thud of the vampire's fainted body
hitting the floor. "Angel? Sweetie?"
 

~~~Part Four~~~ by Angel S.

Willow and Anya had a nice, quick, uneventful dinner, and headed to the club.

As Anya pulled into the parking lot across the street from their destination, Willow looked at her surroundings.

"Why are we stopping here?" The redhead asked.

"Because, if we don't stop here, where else am I going to park?"

"*This* is where we're going?" Willow asked in wide-eyed shock.

"I told you what I wanted for this party." The ex-demon replied. "Now stop being a baby, and let's get in there."

"Wait, Anya," Willow said, trying to think of an excuse to not exit the car. "I can't go in THERE dressed like THIS!"

"Why not? You'll fit right in." Anya said matter-of-factly. Her mind, however, was racing, trying to think of a way to get Willow inside the club
for the show.

"That's what I'm afraid of."  The witch mumbled. Then, the ex-demon figured out what she needed to do.

"Willow," Anya started as she began to freshen up her make-up urging the red head to do the same.  "You and I have been friends for how long?" She asked. Willow opened her mouth to answer but was stopped when Anya continued. "Not counting when we didn't trust one another with Xander-he IS still mine, by the way." The witch rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay, back to the point. We've been friends since the Oloff the Troll incident. At least I consider YOU a friend." She let that hang for a second as she waited.

Willow was now feeling nothing but guilt. She couldn't even look Anya in the eye. "Anya, you know I consider you a friend, too." She said, hoping that she was actually conveying how much she really meant that.

"The point is," Anya continued. "I really wanted you to be a part of my party.  I wanted us to have fun! Come on! We can look and hot looking men and fantasize about having sex with them!"  Willow now looked at the ex-demon. "Not that I WOULD have sex with any of them. You know how much I love Xander. He's the only one I want to give orgasms to."

The overwhelming guilt the red head was feeling made her forget her embarrassment of the outfit she was wearing. She sighed, gave Anya a big smile, and said, "Okay then. Let's go inside."

The two women walked to the front of the line where the other ladies protested. The bouncer looked at the two and motioned for them to continue walking towards him. Anya said something to him, but Willow couldn't hear over the music and the screaming women, both inside the club, and out. He whispered something back to her, and let the two women into the club, with a smile on his face, as he eyed the redhead up and down. 'I am so going to kill Anya for this.' Willow thought to herself.

Inside the club was actually a lot more sophisticated than she expected. There was a brightly lit hallway where a casually dressed man with light brown hair and green eyes was taking the cover charges in a booth against the wall.

"Good evening, ladies." The man said in a friendly manner. "Welcome."

"I'm on the guest list. The future Mrs. Anya Harris." Anya said.

The man looked down and flipped a page on a clipboard. "Ah yes! Bachelorette party!  Please, follow the hallway to the main room. Brandice is
waiting for you."

"Thanks." Anya said before heading towards the end of the hallway. Willow smiled her thanks to the man, who gave her a positive appraising look, before having to return to work. The witch tried to stretch the bottom of the skirt as much as she could so that it would reach her knees. All efforts were in vain.

When Willow caught up with Anya she was having an animated conversation with young, very attractive African-American woman who was wearing a royal blue sheath dress. She was about 5'5, had short, brown hair, and resembled a movie star, Willow decided. She couldn't remember which one. The main room itself was definitely bigger than it looked from the outside.

Extremely tasteful decorations were all around the room. There was a bar in every corner of the room. Tables were scattered around the room in various sizes, but the same style. Nice, linen tablecloths were on each table with elegant candles and candleholders. Willow finally focused on the
conversation.

"Anything for you, Anyanka. You know that." Brandice said. "I can't believe you're actually getting married!"

"Neither can I." Willow said quietly.

"Well, come on. Everything is set up." Brandice said excitedly. Anya smiled at Willow and followed her old friend.

"Are you sure this is the right table?" Willow asked.

They were right up front. VERY close to the stage. One of the dancers had just walked off, so the women who were standing around the stage had returned to their seats.

"Only the best for Anyanka." Brandice replied.

"Thanks so much, Brandice." Anya said. "So, how much of the show have we missed?" She asked, prompting the manager to continue the script they rehearsed the day before.

"Oh, honey, these are only the appetizers. You've got plenty of time before the main course gets here. Your drinks are on the house, by the way." She said with a mischievous smile. "So, drink up." She then walked over to a waiter, dressed in tight pants and not much more before saying something to him. The man smiled and nodded. He then headed over the table as Brandice waved goodbye to Willow and Anya.

"Hello ladies." The waiter said. "My name is David. I'll be your waiter this evening." Anya looked at him appreciatively.

"Yes, I can definitely put him on my fantasy list for tonight." The ex-demon said to the redhead. Willow blushed and David smiled.

"So, if there is anything I can get for you ladies at any time, just let me know." He said as he winked at Willow.

"How do you feel about tequila?" Anya asked. Just then, the lights dimmed as another male stripper prepared to get on stage.

'This is going to be a long night.' The redhead thought to herself.
 

~~~Part Five~~~ by Runewolf

"No no no no no."  Lorne's Seabreeze threatened to spill out of his glass as he waved it emphatically.

"Maybe we should try the thong.  I'm all for the thong."

"Can't I pose as a bouncer?  I make a good bouncer.  Don't they brood?"

Cordelia and Lorne met shocked glances.  "You know, I think thats one of the first times I've ever heard Angel say he broods."  Cordelia's look turns assessing.  "This may be working."

"Darling, if it were working, you wouldn't THINK it was working.  You'd KNOW." Lorne gestured to Angel.  "I mean, look at him.  Tall, built, intense.  Women rip the clothes off men like him.  Angel, haven't women ever done that?"

"Well..."  Angel's mind was assaulted with images of poor, defenseless women that had torn his clothing in their mutual... er...  No, that wasn't how it happened.  He had ravaged them.  Mercilessly.  Without remorse.  "No."

Angelus snickered in his mind.  *Oh yeah, what about that foxy dancer I picked up in Reno?*  "I killed her."  *No, *I* killed her.  But she was all up for the sex part. Remember that red hair?*

"I'm a demon, guys.  This is pointless."

"So demons can't be sexy?"  Lorne's voice was somewhat sharper than usual.

Cordelia stalked over to Angel and poked him in the chest. "Listen you goof. Demon has nothing to do with it.  Doyle was a demon.  He had SPIKES.  But that didn't mean he wasn't sexy.  His fashion sense was far more of a detractor.... but I digress.  We're not here cause you signed up for a Learning Annex course.  We're here cause a life... a sweet, innocent life... is in the balance buster."  She stepped back and regarded him.  "Weren't you like a womanizer pre-vamp? Can't you like channel that?"

*Don't you just want to snap her irritating little neck sometimes?*  "NO!"

"Angel?!"

"Music, Lorne?"

"You got it Angelcakes."

*If you're too stuck up, I can do this.*  Angel's lips narrowed.  Anything Angelus can do, I can do.  Except regarding the poor innocent defenseless victims...  On the other hand, women read all those books about evil vamps, don't they.

"Cordelia?"

"What is it Angel, no you can't be the bartender... They already have one,"

"Women find the whole dark, broody, dangerous thing sexy, right?"

Lorne grinned.

"Um, most, I guess..."  Cordelia's voice was hesitant.

Angel grinned.  All he had to do was pretend to be Angelus.  *OH YES. SCREAMING WOMEN.  I SO MISS THAT.*  "Shut up"

Angel stalked toward Cordelia, unbuttoning his shirt slowly as he went.  *Throw in a leer.  Properly done, leering is quite underrated.*  Angel smirked.  "I said LEER"  He leaned over Cordelia and ran his eyes up her until he met her eyes.   Then he glanced over at Lorne.

"Lesson's over.  I can muddle through this."

"You don't dance..."  Cordelia's voice was almost inaudible.

"No, but I stalk extremely well.  I figure I stalk, I smirk, I look at women like I want to eat them up.  Worked for Angelus."

Angel straitened and grabbed his coat.  "Besides, we're running out of time."

"He's not even dancing.  This is SO not working..."  Cordelia's rambles were distracted, as she couldn't seem to stop sizing up Angel.  "I mean, how does he expect that to work?"

"Its his way babe."  Lorne grinned and toasted Cordelia as she ran after Angel. Once she was out of range he sighed.  "Damn, I wish I could do that... it must be a vampire thing."
 

~~~Part Six~~~ by Aislin Wolfe

The drive from Carita's to the strip club didn't take long and Angel found himself staring at the growing crowd of females trying to get in.  The bouncer checked IDs, every so often ripping obvious fakes.  Cordelia had to cruise around the block until she finally found an empty spot.  She had been told to park in the employee lot but knew that would rise Angel's suspicions, though she already knew he was.

It was with great reluctance that Angel emerged from the car and followed her to the employee entrance in the back of the club.  For Willow, he thought, to save my precious Willow.  Stop that, he chastised himself, she's not your's.

Those thoughts were the only reason he didn't run away as Cordy rang the bell.  And again as the door opened to reveal a beautiful woman in a short blue dress.  "Yes?  How can I help you?"

"Hi.  My name's Cordelia and this is Angel.  He wants to be a stripper."  Angel flinched at her words, but hid it quickly as Cordy stepped to the side and put him in full view of the woman.

"Ahh.  My name is Brandice.  I'm the manager here."  She paused long enough to shake hands with the visitors.  Taking in the vampire's appearance and nervousness, which she knew from the earlier phone call from Cordy, she decided to play a little.  He already had the job for the night, knowing the plan by heart.  She looked him up and down, pausing at all the right spots, increasing his anxiety.  "Hmmm.  I don't know.  He has a nice body, but...let's see...do you have a routine?"

Angel sputtered, not too sure what to say.  "I usually make it up as I go."

The manager had a shocked expression on her face.  "Oh, so you have done this before.  Alright."  She perused his body up and down once more.  "Since you don't have a routine, I really shouldn't hire you just yet.  But one of my regulars had to cancel and you get to fill in.  Consider this your audition.  You're on in fifteen minutes."  She turned her attention to a silent figure standing next to her.  "Andrew, please take this gentleman to the dressing room to get ready.  Show him where the main stage is, he's going on after Marcus.  Oh, and one other thing, get him into some different clothes.  Not so, well, black."  Brandice grinned as Andrew led Angel into the building.

Once they were out of earshot, Cordelia let out the laughter she was trying to reign in.  "Oh, god, that was great!  I have never seen Angel so scared.  He looked like a little puppy."  Brandice had to admit that she enjoyed her little performance and started laughing with her.

"Okay, we don't have much time.  Do you have the music?"  Brandice asked once their laughter was under control.

"Oh no!  I never got it from Lorne."  Cordelia groaned.

Brandice looked thoughtful.  "Well, do you at least know the song?  We might have it."

"He never told me.  We ran out so fast that..."

"Never fear, princess.  I have arrived."  A new voice broke into the conversation.  The green Host came striding up to them, CD waving in his hand.

"Thank you!"  Cordy ran up and hugged him.

"Honey, I need to breathe."  Lorne said.  He didn't want to break the contact, but his will wasn't that strong.  He was a lonely demon who loved a woman that wasn't even interested in him.  He turned away from Cordy and didn't notice the disappointed look she gave him.

Brandice noticed the exchange but didn't do anything.  They'll figure it out, she thought to herself.  She glanced at her watch, five minutes 'til showtime.  "Okay, it's almost time.  We need to get going."

~~Meanwhile in the dressing room~~

Angel was pacing back and forth across the tiny room.  Andrew had stayed long enough to get the vampire a different change of clothes then left after telling him he had ten minutes.

I can't do this.  I just can't.  He kept chanting in his head.  And what's wrong with my clothes?  Without a reflection, he couldn't look in the mirror, but he knew without being full of himself that he was attractive.  Black worked for him.  It never crossed his mind that this was all a set-up.  All he knew was that he had to save his Willow.  Stop that!  She's not even interested in you!

A knock on the door drew him from his musings.  "Five minutes," was called from the other side.

Angel managed a "thanks," before he resumed his pacing.  He started getting dressed.  The outfit he was wearing was Andrew's; they were a perfect fit, although tight in the groin area.  He wasn't even going to think about the boxers, or the g-string.  "I'm going to kill Cordy.  That's it.  I'm just going to go evil and kill her."  He groused, knowing they were empty threats; although, it still felt good to think of all the ways he could torture her fo this.

He walked out of the dressing room prepared to meet his doom.  I'm not going to survive this, he sighed.

~~In the main room~~

"Hello, ladies.  Are you having fun?"  Cordy asked as she sat down next to Willow.  She noticed that the redhead was relaxed and actually had a smile on her face.  She also noticed what Will's was wearing.  "Wow, Will.  You look great."

Willow kept the smile on her face even though she inwardly cringed.  She still didn't feel comfortable, but after giving in and having three shots of tequilla, it didn't bother her as much.

Anya had a triumphant glow on her face.  "I knew they would look great on her.  I picked them out.  Much better than that fluffy purple thing she had on earlier."

"Hey!  That happened to be my fav'rite."  Willow knew she had too much to drink; she was starting to slur.

Anya still had the smile on her face regardless.  "Xander is still mine, Cordelia."

Cordy shook her head at the sudden change of conversation.  "I know.  You don't have to worry about that.  You're going to marry him."

"Yes.  And we'll have even more orgasms."  She looked for all the world like this was a normal conversation.  Cordy and Willow groaned, inwardly thinking, I don't need to hear this.  "How many should you have on your honeymoon?"

Thankfully, neither of them had to answer Anya's question.  Brandice took the stage and spoke to the crowd.  "Hello, everyone.  I hope you are enjoying the view this evening.  I have a couple of announcements then I will be out of your way.  First off, I would like to congratulate my long time friend, Anya, for her upcomming marriage.  I'm sure you will be very happy.  Second, as of next Friday, our hours will be changing.  We will be staying open an hour later on Saturday nights and closing a halfhour earlier on Sundays.  Now, tonight we have a special treat.  Normally, I audition the male dancers before I hire them, but tonight I decided to let you be the judges.  So, I would like you to welcome, hopefully a soon-to-be regular, Angel!"  She walked off the stage to a large applause and some cat calls.

Only three women in the front were quiet as a familiar figure walked cautiously onto the stage.  The lights were bright, but Angel could still see every woman in the room clearly.  Sometimes he could really hate having a vampire's heightened sense.  He was at a loss as to what to do when the music started.  Angel inwardly groaned at the choice in music.  That just settled it, he was going to kill Cordy.  Put her out of HIS misery.

"DANCE!"  Someone yelled from the crowd.

"Shake that money-maker!"  Another said from the back of the room.

Feeling liquid confidence running through her veins, Willow cried out, "TAKE IT OFF!"

Upon hearing the outburst, Angel, Cordy, and Anya just looked at her in shock.  Willow seemed confused.  "What? When in Rome..."

But it did the trick.  Angel focused on the witch's voice and started stalking to the front of the stage.  Feeling a little outgoing, he grabbed the pole and swung around, getting a little air.  That started the crowd going again.  Confidence took hold and he moved his hips to the beat following the lyrics with his hands.

*I love myself, I want you to love me*

His hands ghosted up the dark green silk shirt he was wearing to the top buttons, undoing two of them.

*When I feel down, I want you above me
 I search myself, I want you to find me*

His hands traveled down his chest to the belt he was wearing.  Unclasping the buckle, he slowly, seductively (he hoped), slid the belt from the dark grey slacks he was wearing, and tossed it to the back of the stage.  All this time, he focused on Willow, who was staring back at him.  As far as he was concerned, this was all for her.  What he didn't realize, was that it really was.

*I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself*

His confidence hit an all time high.  He was moving around the whole stage, stopping every now and then to take off his shirt, then to swing around the pole, which was quickly becoming his favorite thing to do.

Angel stopped in the middle of the stage, watching every woman with interest.  His hands once again moved down his chest to his pants.  One button was undone, then the zipper came down next.  Turning around to put his back to the crowd, he slowly bent over in half to take them off, making a last minute decision to take the boxers off as well, and toss them next to the belt.

Most of the women went wild.  Cordy and Anya turned away at the sight of an almost naked Angel.  Willow, on the other hand, was thoroughly melting in her seat at the sight.  She wasn't sure how much more she could take.  She was dying of sexual frustration and the alcohol wasn't helping.  It took all of her self control not to jump up on the stage and rape him on the spot.

The song was fading as Angel made a couple of more passes around the pole, ending as his feet hit the ground.  He actually had a smile on his ever-brooding face as the crowd applauded and whistled.  Cordy and Anya started laughing, mostly in shock that he actually went through with it, and enjoyed it.  If they hadn't seen it for themselves, they never would have believed it.

Willow was still stuck in her seat, unable to move as her eyes stared appreciatively at the bulge in Angel's g-string, but her concentration broke as he turned to exit the stage.  Every ounce of alcohol in her screamed for her to stop him from leaving.  Darting out of her seat, she leaped on stage.
 

~~~Part Seven~~~ by Bianca Devlyn

Angel had just reached the back of the stage and was about to walk off when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned and found himself face to face with Willow. He wasn't sure who was more suprised to find her on the stage, her or himself.
    "I.. uh.. I..," Willow suddenly found herself at a loss for words. How did she get up here?
   "What are you doing?" Angel hissed.
    "Uh.. Well.. You see.." She tried to say more, but being close to Angel in a G-String was even more distracting that watching him.
     "GET OFF THE STAGE!!!"

The bellow from the back of the club brought both of them back to reality and Angel hurriedly ushered a stumbling Willow off of the stage.
    "Where're we goin'?" Oh Goddess! Was that really her talking? She sounded drunk! Why was the floor moving so much? Angel would know. She'd ask him... As soon as they got there... Which reminded her. "Where're we goin'?"
    "Someplace private." What the hell was she thinking, jumping up on stage? Didn't she know she was in danger?! Well, no dumbasss, she didn't, the small voice of reason spoke up from the back of his mind. "Shut up."

    "Whadjoosey?" Willow tried to ask while still concentrating on not falling.

    "Nothing." Finally, they reached the dressing room he'd been in before he'd gone on stage. Opening the door, he pulled the witch inside.

    "Where're we?" The room was still moving entirely too much for her comfort, but she felt giddy despite it.

    "A dressing room. Now, let's find my clothes and get out of here." Angel said gruffly, trying to ignore the way the leather clung to her figure.

    Suddenly remembering his clothes, or rather, lack of them, she turned to look at him. "Clothes? You don't need them." Willow looked him over appreciatively before thinking for a moment. "Did I just say that out loud? I think I did. Angel? Did I just say that out loud?" She started to walk to him, but the floor moved again, suddenly coming up fast to meet her.
    Angel caught her easily before she hit the ground, but caught a elbow in the chest, throwing him off balance. He toppled to the ground, taking Willow with him and landing in a tangled heap.

    "Oof!" Ok, now she was really confused. Why was she on the ground and what was squirming beneath her? Concentrating, she forced her eyes to focus, drawing in a sharp breath when she realized she was lying on top of a very naked Angel. Well, almost naked, but that was easy enough to fix. With that thought, her hands immediately darted to the G-string and started tugging.

    Angel had been so distracted by the fact that the little redhead that had been haunting his dreams was now lying on top of him, that he didn't notice right away what said redhead was doing. Well, part of him did, but he was trying to ignore that part. Forcing his mind away from the sensation of Willow's body pressed against him, he finally realized just what it was that she was doing. "Shit! Willow!" he cried as he found himself in a tug-of-war over the small peice of fabric. Two things happened simulataneously, both of which contributed to the low groan emitting from Angel. One was the sound of ripping fabric and the other was the sound of the door opening and Cordelia's voice.

    "Ang- oh!" Cordy stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Angel and Willow lying on the floor, both holding desperately to a tiny piece of fabric she vaguely recognized as the remnants of Angel's G-string. She barely had time to fully take in the scene when she was pushed forward by Anya, who had been close on her heels.

"Why'd you stop?" Anya pushed her way around Cordy, who was still staring in shock at the couple. Noticing her line of sight, Anya looked down. A wide smile of triumph crossed her face. "See! I knew orgasms would work!"

Finally snapping out of his state of shock, Angel pushed Willow off of him with another groan and frantically started looking for something to cover himself. Before he could, Lorne walked in behind the group and Angel once again found himself very grateful that he couldn't blush. "Well, I must say Angel-cakes.. This is more of you than I ever thought I'd see."

Before Angel could say anything, they were distracted by the sound of Willow laughing hysterically. Taking that moment to find his pants, Angel quickly put them on and went over to help Willow up. "Are you ok?"

    "Y-yeah.. I'm o-ok" Willow got out between laughing and hiccuping. She leaned against Angel and looked up at his face. "Never be-en better. In fact.. I think.." she paused with a bemused look. "I think I'm gonna be sick." She looked at Cordy, who took pity on her, for help.

    "C'mon, hon. Let's find a bathroom." Gratefully Willow nodded and left with Cordelia, leaving Angel in the room with Anya and Lorne.

    Angel looked at the two, still embarrased and not sure what to say. "So... And stuff... " Deciding to keep himself busy so that he didn't have to look at the smug expressions on their faces, he started rummaging for the remainder of his clothes. After about five minutes, he faced them fully dressed and somewhat in control.  They were still staring at him.  "What?"

"Nothing, Angel-cakes."  Lorne was quick to say.

Anya looked at Lorne like he had grown two heads.  "Not nothing.  They're finnly..."  The rest of her sentence was muffled due to the green hand over her mouth.

"What was she trying to say?"  Angel was curious.

"It was nothing.  She's just drunk."  The Host explained.

The vampire's suspicions rose to an all time high.  Then it hit him full force.  "Lorne?"

"Angel-cakes."  The look in Angel's eyes made him worry.  This wasn't going to be good.

"What are you doing here?  I thought no males were supposed to be here unless they worked here."  Angel asked.

Nope, Lorne thought, not good at all.

"Oh, well, uh, you see..."  Lorne was saved from saying anymore as someone interrupted.

"Angel.  You have to take Willow home.  Let her stay with you overnight, cause she's way too drunk to make the ride back to Sunnyhell."  Cordy stated matter-of-factly as she entered the room with a slightly off-balance witch.

"Hold on. What's..."  Angel tried to say.

"No, Angel.  Now!  Before she throws up in the car.  Move it."  Cordy walked into Angel's personal space.

"But..."  The vampire was getting confused.

"I'll get a ride home from Lorne." She looked at the demon for confirmation. At his nod, she started pushing Angel out the door where Willow was waiting, looking like she had just gotten hit by a truck.

"But.. But..What about her being in dan -" Angel was still trying to protest.

"It's taken care of. No 'buts'! Now go!"

Angel sighed and looked at Willow. She did need to go. Nodding, he took her arm and started to lead her toward the door, leaving the three co-conspirators looking after them with gleams in their eyes.

Once the two were safely out of earshot, they heaved a collective sigh. "Do you think it'll work?" Cordy asked of no one in particular.

"It had better! I gave up a night of orgasms for this!" Anya exclaimed. "Speaking of which, I've gotta get home! Bye!" She ran out the door before the other two could say anything.

Cordy and Lorne stood in the dressing room for a moment, looking at each other. "You ready to go?" Lorne finally broke the silence stretching between them.

"No, I'm too wired.. You?"

"Same. How about we go back to Carita's for a nightcap? Because if ever a night needed a cap.." He smiled. "Plus, I'm dying to watch the tape, and I seem to remember something about a little wager we made.."

Cordelia groaned. "I was hoping you'd forgotten."

"Me forget when someone promises to be my slave for an entire day? Bite your tongue!" Or mine, he thought with a smile.

"I can't believe he actually did it! I thought for sure he would have chickened out!"

"Ahh, but you failed to take into account our dear brooding boy's over-developed sense of protection. Given that he thought his poor Willow was in trouble, what wouldn't he do?" He knew that if his lady fair was in danger, he'd do whatever was necessary.

Cordy sighed, knowing he was right. Obviously, seeing as how Angel had indeed gone up onto that stage. She had to admit.. He had a great body.. If you were into that kinda thing. She preferred personality over tall, dark, and broody anyday. Looking over at Lorne, who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts as they walked to the car, she thought that was probably the reason for her recent fascination with him. He wasn't what you would call 'conventionally handsome', but his charm and wit superceded that until all you saw was this magnificent person. That's all she'd been seeing lately, anyway.

Arriving at the car, Lorne opened the passenger door for the brunette. "My lady," He said in a deep, fasciously formal tone. Cordy laughed as she settled her self into the seat. "Thank you." She said when he got in the driver's seat.

"Don't thank me yet. From this moment on, you're at my bidding. I just thought I'd give you one last gesture of gentlemanly concern before showing you what a cad I really am." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively with a grin before turning on the car and backing out of the parking space as Cordelia made a noise that was half laugh, half groan. It was music to his ears.
 

~~~Part Eight~~~ by Christie Baird

"Go slow, go slow!"  Winced Willow as the car drove over a speed bump, making her feel even more nauseous if that was possible.  Angel was thankful that she had her eyes closed.  Every so often his gaze (which he would have loved to think was controlled by Angelus) slid over to her body in that bustier and mini skirt, her ample brea...

~No!  Leave her breasts out of this.~

*Why, Soul Boy, are you blushing?*

Angel frowned, ~Vampire.  Don't blush.~

Even Angelus knew when he was wrong and duly clammed up to much elation from Angel who was able to keep his eyes locked firmly on the road ahead.  "So, uhm... What were you doing there?"  He asked, trying to keep the tone of jealousy dull in his voice.

"Huh?"

"The Strip Club - I mean, you were there and... You were dressed..."

"You wanted me to be naked?"  She squeaked.

"No!"  HOW thankful was Angel that vampires couldn't blush?  "You were dressed like *that* which is almost as bad as being naked..."

"My being of the nakedness is *bad* now?"  Asked Willow, opening her eyes and looking at him.

"No!"  Damn.  Angelus sniggered.  ~Shut up.~

*You have such a way with women...*

"I just meant that..."

"You just meant that WHAT?"

"I dunno."

"Were you jealous?"  Willow looked at Angel for a second, shaking her head.  "You were jealous!"

"Well, what was I supposed to think?"  He asked, her words eliciting a growl.  "You were there, dressed like *that* in a MALE strip club, I mean, you only go to a strip club for one thing..."

"Oh, and like *I* can't say the same thing about you?"  Asked Willow, "You were dancing there!  And we all know that women like to... GROPE..."

"You wanted to grope?"  Asked Angel, incredulously.

"As I recall, in my drunken stupor, I did..." Replied Willow, feeling suddenly nauseous again.

"No, as I recall YOU ripped my G-String - that cost me $15..." He said, lamely.

"Oh Goddess, I'll BUY you a new G-String, happy now?  Not that you'd ever WEAR one again and... Why WERE You dancing in a strip club anyway?"

"You were in danger..." Said Angel, turning towards the Hotel.

"In danger?  Of what?"

"Well, I'm not quite... Sure... And you never did tell me why you were there."

"Anya's Bachelorette party..."

"Just the two of you?"  Asked the vampire, skeptically, "Besides, what would Anya want with a Strip Club when she has Xander?"

"Jeez, I dunno!"  Said Willow, exasperated, she felt like shit and playing a round of twenty questions with Angel wasn't helping matters any.  "She just said that that was where she wanted to go!"

"Oh..."

The pair fell silent for the rest of the journey...

"I'm not kidding!  He used to follow me around like a lovesick puppy!"  Said Cordelia, shaking her head, "He even used to *sing* to me!"

"And what's wrong with singing?"  Asked Lorne, pretending to be mildly affronted.

"The way you sing?  Nothing, nothing at all," Grinned Cordelia, "...but the way he sang, and the SONG he sang?  Let's just say he ain't gonna be winning any awards for *that* voice..."

Lorne grinned at her, watching the way her eyes sparkled when she grinned, "Okay, you really can't leave me hanging like that - what did he sing?  Manilow?  Barry White?"

"Worse."

Lorne gasped, "Okay, since you're in total share mode, which I love..." He winked, "I'll let your comment about the Great Masters of Lurve slide... What did he sing?"

"Promise you won't read my aura?"

"That's my job, Sweetcheeks..."

"Well - make yourself redundant for ten minutes!"

Chuckling, Lorne shook his head, "I can't just STOP reading people's aura's..."

Cordelia sighed, "Okay, but if you find something in my aura, don't complain to me!"

Lorne wasn't sure he could find anything in her aura that he'd complain about, so just nodded, laughing as Cordelia started to sing, "Ohhh, Corrrrrrdeeeeeelllliiiiiiiaaaaaa, how I long to fffffeeeeeeeellllllll yaaaaaaa!"  She bust up into laughter about the same time as the green anagogic demon in front of her did, "That was it!"  She grinned, "The whole song..." Her legs were curled under her on the couch, in front of her lay an empty glass which Lorne picked up, creating a mixture of alcohol.  "Are you trying to get me drunk?"  Asked Cordelia, grinning at him.

"Maybe..."

"Does that mean I get out of the Slaveryhood?"  She asked hopefully.

"Not a chance.  That ass, is mine, Sweetcheeks..."

Cordelia grinned and pointed down, "This ass?"

Lorne nodded, handing her her drink, "Your Alcohol, m'lady..."

"What happened to that last measure of gentlemanly concern?"

"It was extended."  He smiled.  "On account of poor Donnie Ray's dignity..."

"Hey, I didn't *ask* him to fall in love with me!"  She said, laughing.

"Nope," He smiled, "People can do that all on their own..."

"XANDER!"

He didn't stir.  Anya was fuming.  Here she'd cut her male strip trip short for plenty of orgasms and Xander was asleep.  "Oh, SURE..." She grumbled, "But if I said I wanted a threesome with Buffy he'd FALL out of his bed..."

This time, he stirred, "Huh, what?"

"See!"  She said, punching him in the arm.  "I cut my trip short for orgasms and you don't wake but as soon as I mention naked Buffy and Anya or Buffy in bed with us, you're awake!"

"There was naked Buffy?"  Squeaked Xander, "There was naked Buffy and YOU?  Boy, could I be more jealous!"

"You're drooling!"  Said Anya, frowning.  "I'm talking hypothetically..."

"Even hypothetically, the visual's nice."  He replied, a silly, sleepy grin on his face.

"Even if she *is* boinking the undead?"

"No she isn't... Angel's long gone now, An... How much did you have to drink?"

"No, not Angel, silly - right now, I'm hoping Angel's boinking Willow or this night would've been for nothing.  And if I'm right, which I usually am, Buffy should be boinking Spike..."

"Oh," Said Xander sleepily, closing his eyes again.  Then, "WHAT???"

Anya sighed, "No orgasms for me tonight, huh?"

"Angel and the boinking of... My best friend Will and... SPIKE?  How?  When?  How?"

Anya sighed.  This was going to be a loooonnngggg night...

"Uh..." Willow bent down to pick up the bustier she'd dropped on the floor in her room, trading it for one of Angel's more comfortable shirts which he'd given her, when the room spun.  She tried to steady herself but no avail, falling right back... Into his arms.  "I got you..." He whispered.

"I know."  She said, shaking her head.  "That's the problem..."

"What is?"

"You *always* have me..." She said quietly...

"Why don't you stay?"  Asked Lorne, swaying gently through his alcohol induced haze, "I'm in no position to be driving you home and neither are you...."

"Sounds good... HIC... to me!"  Said Cordelia, nodding.  "You make a meeeeaaaannnn Sea Breeze..."

"Want another one?"

"Yup!"

"Let me shower first..."

"Can I come with?"  She teased, watching as Lorne's eyes nearly popped out of his head.  He was drunk, but he wasn't drunk enough to spoil anything in an alcoholic stupor, "Nooo, you stay here... See what you can rustle up in the drinks department..."

Cordelia did as she was told and ten minutes later, stumbled towards the bathroom drink in hand and pushing open the door to the sound of one beautiful voice singing...

"Oh Corrrrrddddeeeeellllliiiiiaaaaa, how I long to feeeeeeellllll ya..."

Cordelia gasped.
 

~~~Part Nine~~~ by Lady Alexia V

          Willow looked up at the dark vampire trying to swallow the lump in her throat.  Angel looked down at the redhead slight shock in his eye at her whispered words.  Could it be that his dreams might possibly come true.  Could the woman of his dreams possibly want him.  ‘No’ her berated himself ‘It’s just the alcohol talking.’  He helped Willow over to the bed so that she could sit down.

Steadying herself Willow looked at her Angel.  ‘Woo girl slow don where did that come from’ she asked herself.   She drew in a ragged breath her eyes catching something she never thought she’d see focused toward her.  In the deep brown eyes of the vampire before her she seen looks of love and lust.  ‘Love…lust toward me???’

Angel watched the various feelings cross the redheads face as she begun to nibble on her bottom lip.  Angel had to force the low moan from escaping his lips as he felt himself grow hard.  Before he knew what hit him he found the redhead pressed against his body taking his lips into a claiming kiss.

**************

“Xander calm down it’s no big deal.”  Anya sighed as her future husband attempted to pace away his disbelief.

“NO BIG DEAL!”  He cried staring at Anya as if she had lost her mine.  “We’re talking about my best friends doing god knows what with a couple of demons.”  He cried.

          Anya jumped back as if she had been struck.  Her face contorted into as mask of rage as she stalked up to the brunette.

“How dare you?  I was a demon or are you so easy to forget?”  She yelled.

“Yeah, but you’re human now.”  He said.

“So, don’t you think that I could get my power back anytime I wanted them.  So Spike and Angel are demons they love Buffy and Willow you should be happy for your so-called best friends.  If you truly cared you would be happy.”  She finished in a huff.

          Xander stared back as his irate fiancée.  Taking in her words he hung his head in shame.  He should be happy for his friend if being with the vampires did make them happy.

“You’re right honey if it make them happy I will be happy for them.”  He said as he took her into his arm.

“OK, can we have orgasms now?”

***************

          Cordelia sat quietly on the couch as Lorne came out of the bathroom.  As soon as he looked at Cordelia he knew that something was wrong.

“Hey Sweetcakes what up?”  He asked taking his drink from the table and sitting by the beautiful brunette.

“Ooh, um n-nothing.”  She said.

          Lorne knew that her statement wasn’t true and wondered what it was that had the young woman so serious when forty-five minutes ago she was laughing and giggling.   Before he could think on it any further he felt her hand lightly brushed the side of his face he looked at her intently.

***************

          Angel wrapped his arms around the petite redhead as he kissed her back with longing of all the time he had wanted her.  Suddenly coming to his senses he pulled away from her.  He watched as Willow looked at him in confusion.

“We can’t do this.”  He said gently.

          Willow hung her head sobering up quickly in her shame.

“Look Angel I'm so sorry, I don’t know why could have possibly thought you would be interested in me.  I just want to crawl in a corner somewhere I am so embarrassed.”  She said as she went to move.

“Is that what you think little one, that I'm not interested in you?  You couldn’t be more wrong.  You have no idea of what you do to me every time I think of you, your fiery hair, creamy skin, beautiful body, mind, and soul.  You’re perfect, no amount of atonement I do will ever make me worthy of you.”  He said pouring out his heart to the woman he loved.

          Willow looked at Angel as if he had grown a second head, she could not believe that he was speaking of her.  She moved back toward him brushing the side of his face as she watched his eyes close in pleasure.

“Then why did you pull back?”  She asked.

“Because you drunk you won’t feel this way in the morning and I refuse to take advantage of you ruining our friendship.”  He replied.

          Pushing him back into the bed she straddled him.  The alcohol in her system lowering her inhibitions she began rubbing his chest.  Leaning down she kissed his neck before moving her lips to his ear to whisper.

“I doubt you’ll be the one taking advantage tonight.”

***************

          Lorne looked at Cordelia savoring in her touch as her hand made way down his face while bringing her lips to his.  Lorne could believe his luck as her tongue demanded entrance to his mouth.  Braking away he looked at her.

“Sweets?”  He asked in confusion.

          I heard you in the bathroom singing that song, your angelic voice has filled me completely.  Lorne?”

“Yes.”

“I want you.”

          The demon looked at her in all her angelic beauty swallowing hard.

‘Wow.’

***************

Angel was in true shock at Willow’s display of aggression.  His pants became even tighter at Willow’s attention.  He watched as she smiles knowingly.

“Ooh lookie what I did.”  She said as she ground herself against his erection.

          Closing his eyes in sexual frustration Angel couldn’t decide if he was in heaven or hell.  He was suddenly brought out of his thoughts when he felt her warm hands on his throbbing member.  He felt like he was on fire at her touch.  She had easily drained his will, she had him and she knew it.

          Willow removed her own clothes and divested him of his own with an expertise he was not aware she had.  Pressing her hot body against his old one brought forth the most exquisite sensations he had ever felt.  Her lips claimed his in an almost animalistic need.  Willow felt the need rush through her body knowing that she could no longer fight them she impaled herself on him.  She cried out in pleasure and pain as Angel threw his own head back.  Both moved in a rhythm telling that their bodies were meant for one another.

          Passion rose between the two lovers as they neared climax.  Willow panted heavily as Angel moved up to brush his lips against her breast.  Willow held him there when she felt his fangs bite into her.  She screamed out in ecstasy bringing her lips to his neck biting till she felt the coppery liquid in her own mouth.  Both exploded into a powerful orgasm as they both cried out in possession.

“MINE!”
 

~~~Part Ten~~~ by Chrissy & Angie

This just proved beyond all doubt, that not every vile or insanely stupid thing he'd ever done could be blamed on Angelus. In fact that bastard had stopped whispering his little taunts the moment he and Willow had reached the hotel. Having Angelus inside him was like having your very own twisted and deranged motivational tape going nonstop in your head.

Willow was never going to look at him the same again. So maybe he hadn't been the instigator, but he sure as hell could've stopped her. He had always fantasized what his and Willow's first time would be like. Candles maybe a little Champaign. He even had a little speech he had wanted to tell her. Of how she had touched his life, and his heart. That even though she lived so far away, he saw her everyday, inside his mind and his heart.

"You've got pensive face." Willow whispered, her head resting on his chest.

Angel ran his fingers through her hair. "I just hope that we didn't rush anything."

Pushing herself up a little, Willow looked into Angel's eyes. "I-I really have wanted to tell you something. I've been... that is I..." Angel waited
patiently as Willow tried to get her words out. "Ever since I can remember I have been having these...feelings..." Willow paused taking a deep
breath trying to get those feelings back under control.

"You have feelings?" Angel whispered, encouragingly.

"No." placing a hand over her mouth, Willow's eyes started to water.

"No?" His brow wrinkling in confusion.

Gulping in more air Willow went on. "I mean yes. What I'm trying to say is Angel I...I...think I'm going to be sick." Placing a hand over her mouth, Willow struggled off the bed, getting tangled in the sheets.

Angel watched dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open for a minute, until he snapped out of it to assist Willow. Taking the twisted sheets from her limbs he watched as Willow raced toward the bathroom.

"Is that all you can say? I don't rate any higher then a wow?" Cordelia asked in a purr, moving so that she was sitting in Lorne's lap. "If I were sober, I'd be highly offended."

"If you were sober, you'd be sitting across the room shooting me dirty looks for having won the bet." Lorne wanted to let Cordy have her way, but what happened in the morning, when she did sober up? He'd dreamt of this happening, never truly believing that it might some day. "Which means that as much as I really want to continue this, we can't."

"Of course we can, it's easy." She said, leaning into the man whose lap she was sitting in. "We've already got the kissing thing down, the rest should follow pretty naturally."

"Stop right there princess." Lorne cut Cordy off, placing a finger on her lips. "When I've thought about this night, I've got to say that it wasn't anything like this. Candles and undying devotions of love, but a quickie on the couch because you heard me singing. Not what I'm looking for." He shifted so his girl was sitting back on the couch and not on him, hoping it would make saying no easier. In all honesty, he wanted to be screaming yes, but his first time wasn't going to be a quickie on the couch.

"But Lorne," Cordelia let his name roll off of her tongue as if it were honey, trying to move back onto his lap, but the demon wasn't having anything to do with that. He stood, leaving her all by her lonesome. "What about the song, didn't you mean it?"

"Of course I meant it beautiful, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to take advantage of you." Lorne took a small step backwards, as Cordy stood and slowly made her way around the couch. "I'm trying to be a gentleman, and you're making it very difficult. You'll thank me in the morning."
 
"At least I'm getting something right." She said with a predatory smile. "What would you say if I tell you I'm not looking for a gentleman? If I wanted one of those, I could have called Wesley to pick me up. I came home with you, what does that tell you?"

"That maybe my mother was right, they ate the wrong son." He mumbled, wondering if his long held virginity was worth telling the brunette goddess no. "It tells me that I'm probably making the biggest mistake of my life letting you sleep alone, but it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"You do realize that I'm going to do anything and everything I can to change your mind." Every step that Cordy took towards Lorne caused him to take another step backwards. He'd skirted around an end table without much trouble, but his private bar was only a few feet away and the former May Queen knew if she could trap him against that, she would be able to change the horned demon's mind. "I've been told that I'm extremely persistent. I usually get what I want in the end."

"What about a little cuddling? I could be your fully clothed teddy bear tonight. Then in the morning we can talk about dating, improving your singing voice or your penchant for drinking too much in my presence." Lorne took another step backwards and felt the cool oak of his private bar against his back. At the same moment, Cordelia made her final move, closing the space between them, placing a hand on either side of his body, and trapping him.

"Cuddling is nice, and I want to spend lots and lots of time doing it." She pressed in against the surprisingly hard green body that was always hidden
under his garish suits. "It's the perfect time to explore, I want to know what your skin feels like against mine. Will it be soft, like green silk or warm, like grass on a summer afternoon?" Cordy trailed a finger up Lorne's arm, opening up a chance for him to escape around the bar.

"Bad idea, very bad idea and I take it back. No cuddling, no touching no more anything but you going to bed giving me a chance to drink myself to sleep. If I knew that I was going to have to protect my virtue, I would have gotten you a cab and taken my cute virgin backside home alone." Lorne didn't even realize he'd said that out loud, not until he heard his companion gasp. "What? You can't possibly think that you can suck me back over the bar by gasping like that. Doesn't work, this isn't the demon equivalent of suck and blow."

"You're a what? I must be drunker then I thought, I could have sworn you just said you were a virgin." Cordy waited for a denial, but none came. Lorne just looked down at his shoes and turned a darker shade of green.

"Wow."

"What is that?" Xander stared at the object Anya had hanging from Anya's index finger.

"A present. I stopped by the store Cordelia took Angel to. Here." Shoving the fringe trimmed G-String at Xander.

Throwing his hands up in a feeble attempt to ward off the garment Xander nearly whimpered. "Why?"

"I want to see you dance silly. I mean I've seen Angel dance in less than this." Waving the underwear in Xander's face, she let out an exaggerated sigh when he retreated.

The thought of Anya having seen deadboy prance around with his butt cheeks bare didn't intimidate him as much as the G-String. He should have known the second Anya declared that she was taking Willow to a Strip club that this would be the outcome. How many nights had he awoken, all sweaty from having another one of those nightmares?

It was as if the room started to dim when the memories of working at the 'Ladies Night' club came out of no where and plowed into him head on. He'd been washing dishes in the back, minding his own business when the owner had told him that one of the dancers had called in sick. He should've stopped Fran right then and there, but nooo.

It had all happened so fast. On moment she was batting her mascara-clumped lashes at him, next he was dressed like some deranged version of Roy Rodgers. On his head sat a ten-gallon hat that every once in awhile slipped over his eyes. A blue vest that barely covered his manly boobs, with a pair of matching chaps. Too bad his butt was bare for the entire world to see. The boots belonged to one of the other guys, even with paper towels wadded in the toes, the boots slipped when he walked.

He thought he had died and gone to hell when the first few words of the song he was supposed to dance to came on over the speakers.

Riding on the range
I got my hat, on
I got my boots, dusty

He had stood paralyzed behind the crushed velvet curtain until one of the other guys gave him a huge push from behind. Tripping over the large boots, he made his grand entrance by falling smack dab on his face in front of a full house.

I've got my saddle, on my horse
He's called...
T-T-T-T-T-Trigger!
Of course

Picking himself off the ground and giving the audience his best I'm gonna hurl smile, he stood frozen in fear until he saw Fran give him a 'shake your little tushie' glare.

I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy!

Trying his best not to make eye contact with any of the rabid females that were whistling and leering his way, Xander started to move. Okay perhaps it was more like he started to bop somewhat in tune with the music. Which only made the overly intoxicated women shriek some more.

Riding on the track, wagon
Following my man
His name is Ted, can you believe that?
Ted, oh Ted, fighting off danger

His true folly had been when he was under the belief that he was getting into the groove. Shaking his ass for the entire bar to witness, which only had him groaning in humiliation the next day and years to come.

Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair
Makes me feel quite dirty,
We all do sometimes
They get so dirty

The moment he spun around and tipped his hat at some wrinkly graying woman wearing spandex... he should have gotten professional help. But when she started waving a twenty in his direction the draw of the money had warped his mind.

I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy!

The women loved him, he was god. Thrusting his hips back and forth, at a woman that looked remarkably like his Sunday school teacher when he was five, Xander had pushed the fates too far.

Looking like a hero
Six gun at my side
Chewing my tobacco

Eyeing the shiny gold pole in the center of the stage, he had decided in his infinite wisdom that since he had already mastered the art of dancing, it was now time to show his skills on the pole.

Out in the horizon
I see a puff of smoke
Indians on the warpath
White man speaking with forked tongue isn't he
Or not

He had seen the other dancers spin around the pole, (It wasn't like he got off on that sort of thing, watching naked guys...turn around a pole...) But they made it look so damn easy. Grab pole, do sexy funky dance with pole, twirl around pole. A monkey could do it.

 I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my cowgirl...

Taking a running leap at the pole, his intentions were to circle around it just like he'd seen the other dancers do. Instead he slipped on the damn boots, the hat fell over his eyes and he felt his groin slam into the metal post.

Yippee yippee yai yippee yai yo yo
Yippee yippee yai yippee yippe yai yo yo
Hey, yippee, yippee yo yo!

Falling to the floor in an ungraceful heap, he could hear the laughter echoing through his head. Pain made him curl into a ball. And he stayed in the middle of the stage in the fetal position.

My name is Ted, and one day, I'll be dead yo yo yo

"Well?" Xander snapped out of his daze to see Anya standing in front of him. Xander took another look at the G-String and passed out.

Angel didn't know if he should follow Willow, or leave her alone while she emptied her stomach. Deciding that if he could face the various demon of the week he could handle a sick witch, he cautiously moved into the bathroom. It had been over two hundred years since he'd been faced with any kind of sickness, but seeing the woman who was never far from his thoughts suffering propelled him into action. Lifting her shoulder length hair back, he stroked her neck and murmured comforting words, unsure of what else he could do.

Willow felt him the moment that Angel entered the bathroom, but was too sick to care that he was seeing her at her absolute worst. If she were feeling better she would have been horrified at the thought of anyone, let alone the brooding vampire seeing her sick. But having already worked through breakfast and lunch, she was quickly losing her liquid dinner and just didn't care. She'd worry about her behavior up until this point later, after she'd brushed her teeth and had time to let the events of the night sink in. What Angel must think of her now, her behavior up until this point was questionable at best.

Angel waited until the little redhead was still again, before letting go of her hair. "Stay right here, I'm going to get you a glass of water, and then I'll carry you to bed. Then maybe we can finish the conversation we started?" It was more of a statement then a question, but he really wanted to find out just how his Willow felt, as long as it wasn't sick again. He quickly brought her the promised water, tilting it against her recently kissed lips. "Feeling a little better?"

"Better, but embarrassed. Not how I normally like to end the night." Willow tried to smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I hope not, I don't want to have to witness this again. I adore you Will, but I don't ever want to hear another word from you or anyone else about my having to drink blood." Angel said with a small smile, following Willow's lead in trying to lighten things up. "Because your little post part performance has to be one of the most disgusting things that I've ever seen.

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