Willow sat up in bed as she awoke from another disturbing dream. The
night at Buffy's had given her a lot of insight, revealing what she
had been hiding in her subconscious. She had to stop lying to
herself. She thought she had changed a lot since her high school
years, but lately she had been doubting that anyone perceived her any
differently. She kept seeing herself as the same old Willow,
instilling worry and nervousness in her demeanor. She wondered if she
would ever be viewed as anyone other than the shy hacker/witch. While
her physical appearance had changed, so had her mentality, yet
everyone treated her as if she were no different. She was afraid that
anything new she might do would be frowned upon. She didn't want to
hear, "Willow that's not like you," or "Are you feeling alright."
She was no longer sure of her relationship with Tara. Her feelings
weren't completely solid. Maybe she had reached to Tara because it
was a relationship separate from her current friends, or because it
was the exact opposite of what anyone would have expected. Maybe she
really did have feelings for her. She really didn't know anymore.
Willow looked at her clock, 1:00. She knew she wouldn't be able to
fall back asleep. She went downstairs to get a glass of water, then
returned to her room and logged on her computer. She checked her e-
mail, most of which was junk mail. Then she noticed an e-mail from
Cordelia.
Willow and Cordy had been e-mailing each other with weekly updates on
their lives since shortly after Cordy had started working for Angel.
Cordelia was often bored sitting up in the office all day long so she
started going on-line. Eventually she decided to put her and Willow's
past behind her and called her, since Willow was the only one she
could really stand in Sunnydale. They had a long conversation and
Willow gave her, her e-mail address, and they had slowly become good
friends.
            Hey Willow,
                What's going on in Sunnydale? Sorry I haven't written
in a couple weeks. Things have been stressful around here. I was in
the hospital along with Wesley. And Angel is freaked. His building
was blown up. It's really too much to write. You have my number, so
call and I'll explain everything. Gotta go. Love Cordelia
With everything Willow had been going through it was good to hear
from Cordy.
                Hey Cordy,
                    I guess everything is alright here, but you
should never say that on the Hellmouth. I can't believe you told me
all that and aren't going to explain exactly what happened. You
better be expecting a call from me. Willow
Just then her IM dinged:
Hotbabe156: Hey Willow what are you doing up at 1:30
Redwicca23: Couldn't sleep, I was just emailing you, so what exactly
happened
Hotbabe156: Well do you remember what I told you about Wolfram and
Heart and the scrolls?
Redwicca23: yeah
Hotbabe156: Well the law firm decided to . . . (she went on to
explain all that happened)
Redwicca23: Oh my God are you okay, you must have been in so much
pain.
Hotbabe156: Yeah I'm fine now just a little wigged. Plus I have Angel
and Wesley's support
Redwicca23: How are they?
Hotbabe156: They're doing okay. They are staying here for now. And
their both a little weird about the new me
Redwicca23: The new you ???
Hotbabe156: Yeah well after seeing all of the suffering I became more
serious about saving the innocent
Redwicca23: And Angel is going to be human?
Hotbabe156: Yep but not anytime soon. How are you?
Redwicca23: Stressed, after the whole Initiative thing I told you
about we had a movie night at Buffy's and got stuck in these weird
dreams of our subconscious
Hotbabe156: Are you alright
Redwicca23: Yeah, it just made me think a lot
They went on talking until 3:30 in the morning. Cordelia could tell
how much stress Willow was under and invited Willow to come visit for
a few weeks. She would be leaving the day after tomorrow.

Part 2
Willow felt really bad just leaving her friends behind, she knew they
were having as much stress as her. She told them she was visiting a
relative. She couldn't believe she lied. She hadn't seen Cordy
forever and now she was standing in front of her door. She knocked on
the door and Wesley answered.
"Willow! W-what are you doing here!?!"
"Oh my God Cordy didn't tell you I was coming!"
"Well most certainly not. It's nice to see you. Come in," he said
shaking her hand.
Cordelia squeaked when she saw Willow, They met in the middle of the
room and hugged tightly. They hadn't seen each other since they had
become friends. "I'm so glad you decided to come. Sit down, Wesley
will put your bag in the other guest room."
"Wow Cordy this is a nice place, I see why you went through hell to
get it." As Willow said this a flower floated in front of her.
"Thanks, oh and this is my ghost Dennis."
"It's nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you," she said to the
said to the air.
Wesley walked into the guest room waking up Angel, who in turn
growled . "What are you doing?"
"Putting Willow's bags in this room," he said as if it were the most
obvious thing.
"Willow!" Angel quickly got up and went to go see what was going on.
When he saw Willow he was more than shocked. What was she doing here?
She looked as beautiful as he remembered.
He was surprised when he heard her gasp his name. She paused a moment
before hugging him.
"It's good to see you Willow."
"You too-" She was cut off as an embarrassed, boxer-clad Angel
quickly ran back and shut his room door.

Part 3
Cordelia and Willow started laughing the second Angels room door
shut.  He returned to the living room five minutes later, fully
dressed.  If Angel could blush, he would.
"So what are you doing here Willow?" Angel asked.
"I-I'm sorry, I assumed that um Cordy would've told you I was
coming.  I didn't mean to intrude, it's j-just that I really needed a
vacation.  You know a break from hell mouth life.  I-I, if I mean,
well I can leave if you and Wesley want, I mean, not that I don't
want to be here with you.  Oh that didn't come out right."
"Willow," Angel tried.
"The next bus leaves in two hours, so if you don't mind I'll just
stay here until then, then I can just leave.  I'm sorry I thought you
knew," Willow said standing about to retrieve her bags.
"Willow!" Angel said smiling.
"Uh. Yes."
"I never said I didn't want you to say, I'd love for you to.  I was
just wondering why you were here."
"Oh."
"Besides if Angel or Wesley didn't want you here then they could
leave," Cordelia said smirking.
"I'm staying here just for a week or two, just visiting."

Willow hadn't thought much of Angel with all that had been going on
back in Sunnydale.  She was only reminded of him in Cordy's e-mails.
But seeing him again stirred feelings of attraction that she thought
had long since died.  She had never really come to terms with her
feelings about Angel before.  He was always Buffy's meaning off
limits.  So she had always pushed whatever feelings she may have had
aside.  Now that she was here she wasn't so sure she could do that
anymore.  She knew he was still off limits even if Buffy and his
relationship was long since over.  She knew Buffy would still view
him as hers.  But that just wasn't fair.  <Buffy has a current
boyfriend that she claimed to love, so why does she have to be so
selfish.  Oh I don't even know why I'm thinking this.  It's not even
as if Angel has feelings for me.  Get a Grip Willow.>

"Okay wow, long uncomfortable silence anyone," Cordelia said just as
Wesley walked in.
"If I may interrupt,  Cordelia where might Willow be staying?
Seeing as though there aren't enough beds with Angel and I staying
here."
"One of you guys are going to willingly give up your bed.  This couch
is a sofa bed," Cordelia stated matter of factly.
"Oh that's alright I wouldn't want to cause to much trouble I'll just
sleep on the couch."
"That's alright Willow, I can," Angel offered.
"Nope, I've already made up my mind," Willow stated firmly.
Although Angel hadn't seen Willow's resolve face many times before,
but he recognized it.  "Fine but I don't have to like it."
"Okay, now that we have that settled.  Willow I have so much planned
for us to do.  Today we'll stay in, but tomorrow we're going shopping
and we'll get you some decent party clothes, then we can spend the
next two nights clubbing.  Then we're going to have a sleep over make
over, oh and there's so much more."
"I told you the `new Cordelia' wouldn't last very long," Angel said
to Wesley.
"Hey, I'm still changed if we get work, I'll work happily, but until
then I haven't had a girlfriend over in way to long."

<Wow, willow looks really different from the last time I saw her.
Well the last time I saw her I kind of mauled her in the middle of
the street.  She still acts pretty much the same.>

<Angel and Cordelia are really sitting close, wonder what that's
about.> She had been watching them and had noticed their closeness.
Well there goes that.
 

Part 4

Today had been extremely exhausting for Willow.  All she wanted to do
now was sleep.  She changed and then pulled out the sofa bed.  They
had all spent a few hours talking.  Wesley seemed a lot less uptight,
Cordelia and Angel seemed really close, and Angel seemed to laugh a
lot more and brood a lot less.

Willow laid down and cuddled in her blankets after shutting off all
the lights.  She was really glad she decided to come.  If she was
really honest with herself she would admit that she had runaway from
home.  No one really knew where she was.  She was feeling the
desperate need for escape.  All she wanted to do was cry in
frustration.  She felt really selfish knowing all her friends were
having problems, she didn't want to lean on them for comfort.  That's
what she was there for, comfort.  And she had runaway.  How could she
do that.  Well it was too late to go back now.  Decisions were
already made.  She was going to enjoy her stay if it killed her.

It took Willow a long time to fall asleep she had laid in bed simply
thinking of all the decisions she had made, and all that had go so
wrong in her life.  Her friends didn't seem to even really care about
her anymore, Oz had left her, she had confused herself even more
going to Tara.  She wasn't sure what she was doing with her life.
She had lost interest in her schoolwork, and she had put all that was
important to her either behind her or at risk.

She fell into a fitful sleep.  Her nightmares causing her to toss and
turn.  She dreamt of her friends taunting her.  Of all the pain she
had experienced in the past year, bringing her to tears.

Angel was awoken by the sound of soft whimpering.  He went into the
hall to see where it was coming from.  It was Willow.  He went into
the living room to see her crying in her sleep,  only now she looked
as though  she were in physical pain.  He wondered what could be
causing her to experience this.  He tried to gently wake her.

"Willow, willow wake up," he nudged her gently.  She wouldn't wake up
so he tried to be a little more forceful.  It wasn't working.  It was
obvious that it wasn't going to.  Angel didn't know what to do so he
climbed into bed beside her.  He pulled her into his arms, gently
rubbing her back.  She was shuddering.  He felt so bad, wishing he
could do something to ease her pain, but he couldn't even wake her to
see what was causing it.  <This feels so right, holding her warm body
in my arms. She feels so small, fragile even.   I never knew she was
having any problems, I wish there was something I could do.>  Slowly
she quieted.  Her shaking ceased.  He felt compelled to stay with
her, but figured she wouldn't be too happy about him being in her
bed.   He kissed her forehead and returned to his room.

"Sweet dreams Willow."
Part 5
Angel went into the kitchen at 10:00 to eat breakfast. He saw Willow
still sleeping and carefully walked to go heat up some blood. He sat
in the living room and sipped his drink, eyes drifting to Willow's
resting form. Could she possibly be more beautiful. She's just so
innocent. Oz is a lucky man. What am I even thinking. This is Willow.
He continued to watch her long after he finished his breakfast. Lost
in his thoughts. Just seeing her brought back a flood of memories of
the past few years. Being alive for so long you would think that a
few years would be insubstantial, but for Angel they were filled with
substance and meaning. He was now completely over Buffy. When she
came to L.A. that last time it had been the end all of his feelings.
Sure he would always remember that love that had so completely
consumed him. She had just acted so childish, rubbing the fact that
she had moved on and yet expecting him to never do the same. When he
looked back she had often acted as such. He had been so blinded by
his infatuation that he couldn't see her flaws. But wasn't love
supposed to be blind. His eyes had remained on Willow for the last
hour, though it seemed to be only a few minutes. She looked so
perfect yet she didn't seem to notice. She was so nice always putting
herself last without so much as a thought.
Angel began to think of the previous night. What disturbed her so
much. He didn't know of any problems she was experiencing, but was
determined to find out. How could he ask her without being intrusive.
That was the problem. He wanted to be there for her as he knew she
would be for him. She had given him his soul and he never even
thanked her. He needed to repay her some way. How, he didn't know,
how could you possibly repay some one for a gift as priceless as a
soul. He let out an unneeded sigh. She had only been here a day and
yet it was causing him to change so much. She seemed to have that
effect on everyone. Even Cordelia had accepted her as a close friend
when they had been total enemies. What were these feelings he was
experiencing. Willow was such an angel. He always thought she was
beautiful, intelligent, and kind, but now these feelings were
intensified. He had been attracted to her before, but that was around
the time he began his relationship with Buffy. He remembered when he
thought she was dead he had wanted to die himself. He was so
disappointed in himself for not being there to protect that
innocence.
Willow began to stir, her eyes fluttering open to focus on Angels.
And there they sat eyes locked, words not needed as a flood of
emotions were communicated. Green eyes lost in Brown depths, both
unable to move, to process thought, to speak. Neither knew what to
do, they couldn't do anything at all. Loosing all sense of time their
they sat without movement lost in the depths of emotions in each
others eyes.
"Angel!" Cordelia called from the hall.
The spell was broken.
 
 
 
 

Part 6

Willow began to stir, her eyes fluttering open to focus on Angel's.
And there they sat eyes locked, words not needed as a flood of
emotions were communicated.  Green eyes lost in Brown depths, both
unable to move, to process thought, to speak.   Neither knew what to
do, they couldn't do anything at all.  Loosing all sense of time
their they sat without movement lost in the depths of emotions in
each others eyes.

      "Angel!" Cordelia called from the hall.

      The spell was broken.

      Willow shook her head slightly in a daze.  She watched
Angel's retreating form wondering what had just transpired between
them.  She had just woken up and been instantly been enraptured in
his gaze.  Whatever the moment, the meaning, it was over thanks to
Cordelia who just always seemed to have the worst tact and timing.

      Willow just laid in on the sofa bed thinking of Angel.  Being
in L.A. was awakening past, forgotten feeling for Angel.  She had
always been attracted to him, but he was always labeled Buffy's.  But
right now Buffy wasn't here, right now Buffy was most likely lying in
bed with Riley.   Right now Willow couldn't help but be attracted to
Angel, he was so extremely beautiful, sensitive, and kind.  And in
that moment that they had just shared she could have sworn that just
maybe he felt attracted to her also.  Who was she kidding.

      At that moment she made a conscious decision, she was here to
enjoy herself not worry about a guy.  She would have fun.  She was
determined.  She got up and walked into Cordelia's kitchen to find
something to eat.  She decided to go simple and just eat
cereal.  "Okay, so where are the bowls?" she said to herself in
frustration.  A cabinet opened revealing the bowls.  "Thank you
Dennis."

      Apparently Willow must have woken up late because everyone
had already eaten.  She glanced at the clock and realized it was
already eleven.  She quickly finished her breakfast and went in
search of Cordelia.  They managed to run into each other both
shouting the others name.

      "So Cordy what do you have planned for today?"
      "Well I was thinking shopping!" she said hopefully.
      "Sounds great, don't look so surprised.  I told you about how
I was having a hard time in Sunnydale and how I had that dream of me
being the same as I was in High school.  I figured what better way to
alleviate that fear than go shopping for a whole new me."
      "Thank you, thank you, thank you it will be so much fun.  I
am so picking out your wardrobe."
      Willow groaned maybe this wasn't such a great idea or maybe
it just might be fun.  About half an hour later the girls were
dressed and ready to go.   Just as they were headed out the door
Angel stopped them.

      "Where are you going ?"
"Shopping," Cordelia answered still walking to the door.
      "Here," Angel said.
      Cordelia saw a flash of gold and immediately caught
it.  "Thanks."
      "We can't take that," Willow said shocked.
      "Buy whatever you want."
      "Just keep walking Willow its alright," Cordelia said pushing
Willow through the door.

      The girls spent all day shopping only stopping to eat lunch.
They hadn't bought as much as Willow expected but it was still a
lot.  Cordelia was overjoyed to have a shopping buddy.  They talked
so much and neither had anything to hide from each other.  It gave
them a chance to bond and become even closer than they already
were.

      When they got home Willow decided to call Giles and let
everyone know she was alright.
      "'Ello."
      "Hey Spike, why are you answering the phone."
      Just then Angel walked in and asked Willow who she was
talking to.
      "Bloody hell witch why is Peaches at your Aunt's house," he
said already knowing where she really was.
      "Spike please don't tell anyone, but I'm staying at
Cordelia's and so are Angel and Wesley."
        Spike growled when Xander grabbed the phone from him.
      "Hey Wills how's your aunts house?"
      "Hey Xander it's great.  I gotta go I just wanted to check in
with you guys.  How are things back home any major Baddies."
      "Nope, but we'll e-mail you if we need help, gotta go, love
you Wills"
      Willow could hear Anya whining in the background.  "Love you
to." She said and hung up.  Spike immediately called back.
      "Why the bloody hell are you staying with `im luv!"
      "Spike be quiet someone will hear you!"
      "Everyone's left and watchers asleep."
      "I told you how I was having such a hard, I needed to have
some fun."
      "You coulda `ad fun with me." He said stubbornly
      "I'm sorry I needed to get away."
      "Red," he whined," what am I supposed to do with you gone?"
      "I'm really sorry, you can call whenever you want."   "I have
to go Spike bye."

      Willow got up and went to change completely ignoring the look
of shock on Angels face as he heard her conversation with Spike.  She
had expected as much, but she had a party to prepare for.

Part 7

      Willow      and Cordelia were about to leave when Angel stopped
them. "I'm going with you." Angel said eying Willow's crimson leather
hip huggers and her sparkling red halter.  God she looked sinful.
Angel intended on keeping a close eye on her all night.

      Willow felt surprisingly confident and the look Angel just
gave her only helped.

      The club they were at was fairly new and had plenty of cute
guys not to mention great music.  Willow was sipping her drink as she
watched Cordelia dance with a Latin hunk.  She wanted to dance but
didn't know if she was quite that bold.  Finally a rather cute blond
came up, noticing that her and Angel didn't appear close, he asked
her to dance.  She accepted.  At first she felt a little awkward but
as she began to concentrate on the beat of the music she became quite
good.  After the song was over she found another guy waiting to dance
with her only boosting her confidence more.

      Angel watched jealously as guy after guy went up to Willow
dancing with her.  With each dance her movements became more: bold,
sexual, sensual.  Angel couldn't take his eyes off her only wishing
that that was him dancing with her, wishing he had accepted earlier
when she had asked him to dance.

      Willow was having so much fun but she couldn't help but keep
steeling glances at Angel.  Wishing she was dancing with him. But he
had refused her.  She felt a new man grab her from behind wrapping
his arms around her waist as the music slowed.  Curious she turned
around.

      "Angel!"
      "Willow," god did she feel great in his arms.
      "I thought you didn't dance."
      "I changed my mind." With that said he turned her back around
and pulled her back to him, intimately resting her head on his
chest.  As the song played all he could think about was how wonderful
this was.  Their bodies fit perfectly, her hair just smelled
intoxicating, and the warmth of her body pressed against his.  The
danced closely  for a few songs.  When the music became more upbeat
again he took her hand and led her back to the table.

      That night Cordelia went home with Some man she had been
dancing with the whole night.  Willow and Angel had spent the evening
talking about anything and everything. Angel never let go of her
hand.  They walked back to Cordelia's apartment.  They sat on the
couch and continued there conversation where they had left off.
Willows head was resting on angels lap.  As the had a comfortable
silence a look passed between them.  The same look they had shared
that morning.  The moved closer until there faces were merely inches
apart, closing their eyes anticipating the kiss.

      "Angel are you in there," called Kate's voice as she barged
in the door.
Willow and Angel jumped apart.
      "In here Kate."
      Willow recognized the name from their long conversation.
      "Angel could I talk to you alone."
      Willow took the hint and went into one of the bedrooms.
      "Angel I've been thinking a lot lately, and well what you are
I can just put it past me, as long as you don't bring it up."
      "Kate I am a vampire I can't pretend I'm not I've learned
that doesn't work to well."
      "I know I just am saying that I could . . . forget."
      "Okay, what are you getting at?"
      "Angel I think that it's okay for us to have a relationship
now."
      "Kate I don't think –"
      "No it's okay I know you won't hurt me." She said leaning up
and kissing him holding his head in place.  Angel was in shock taking
him a second to react.  But in that second Willow had gotten up to go
to the bathroom and had seen them she ran back to the room not
hearing what was said.  She had to get out of there.  She and Angel
had almost kissed not five minutes ago.  She thought he liked her,
she thought she felt it stronger than anything before.  She walked
into the living room.
      "Angel I'm going for a walk."
      "Okay he answered distractedly not noticing the tears running
down her face.

She walked out into the dark night not noticing what was in front of
her she just continued walking, shivering in the cold.  She had
already wandered 6 blocks.
Spike was driving down the street looking for Cordelia's.  He had
come to convince Willow to come back home. If she wanted to get away
she could get away with him.  She was his best friend and he didn't
want her being influenced by Angel or so he told himself.  Just then
he saw a flash of Red hair.  Only the Willow he knew wouldn't wear an
out fit like that.  The he saw her face.  She was crying and it was
Willow, and god did she have a nice body or what.  He turned the car
around preparing to pick her up just as she wandered out into the
middle of the street.  He rolled down the window.  Just then he saw a
car speeding towards her.
Willow saw the flash of head lights and then what sounded like Spike
calling out her name as pain filled her body until she blacked out.
 
 

Part 8

            "WILLOW!"

Spike stopped his car, blocking the street, watching as the car that
hit Willow sped in the opposite direction.  He was too panicked to
stop them or even get a license plate number.
"No Red, you can't do this to me!"

He held Willow's broken body in his arms, wiping away the blood
dripping down her forehead.  He was uncharacteristically shaking and
crying as he rocked them both back and forth.  Spike noticed a faint
and slowing heartbeat from Willow and quickly ran to his car driving
them to the hospital.

He entered the emergency room yelling at one of the staff nurses as
she asked him for insurance information.  He dug out Willow's wallet
before she was taken away.  After a few hours of pacing and blaming
everybody he knew, he decided to call them all and yell at them.  Let
them know what they did.  Well he couldn't call the slayer and her
friends, they would just come here and annoy him.  So he guessed it
would have to be Angel or the cheerleader.

"Hello."
"YOU BLOODY BASTARD! I hate you.  What were you thinking letting Red
go walking at 2:00a.m, by herself in L.A.!?!"
"What are you-"
"Shut up I'm not done yet.  YOU! It's all your fault, I knew she
shouldn't have come here.  That's why I came to get her!"
"Spike where are you?" Angel growled.
"The hospital 10 blocks from the cheerleaders.  Now let me finish!"
But Angel had already hung up.

Angel grabbed his key and ran out the door.  Why couldn't Spike just
tell him what happened.  He would have hung up sooner but he needed
to know where they were.  The Hospital. Please let Willow be
alright.  What was Spike talking about.  He thought Willow had gone
to sleep in Cordelia's room back when Kate was there.  He should have
checked.  Now he remembered her slipping out the door.  Maybe
whatever happened was his fault.  Just please let Willow be okay.

"Rosenberg?"
Spike immediately stood up.
"Are you family?"
"I'm William her fiancé."
"Well William I'm afraid I have some bad news about Ms. Rosenberg."
He said solemnly.
 
 

Part 9

"Rosenberg?"
Spike immediately stood up.
"Are you family?"
"I'm William her fiancé."
"Well William I'm afraid I have some bad news about Ms. Rosenberg."
He said solemnly.
      "What is it," he said impatiently.
      "Well she's in critical condition.  We don't know if she'll
make it.  She's in a coma, and we've done everything we can. She has
a fractured arm and rib.  And two severe head wounds.   The problem
is she has to want to wake up, to want to live."
      "Thank you, can I see her?"
      "She's being moved right now, but we'll send a nurse when you
can."
 

      Spike paced the waiting room. He didn't know what he would do
without her.  She was the reason he hadn't staked himself all those
months ago.  She was the only person he could really call a friend
and now she was in danger of dying, all because she had to come see
bloody stupid peaches.  It's all his fault. All his fault.  He
continued pacing the room.
      "William you can see Ms. Rosenberg now.  Follow me please."
      He nervously followed anxious to see his Willow.  The nurse
left him and he rushed to her side.  She looked so horribly hurt.
Her face bruised and cut.  There was blood in her hair, there must
have been a gash hidden there.  He could only imagine what her torso
looked like, directly where the car had hit her.

      Angel ran into the hospital and immediately to the nurses
station.  "I need to find Willow Rosenberg!"
      "Only family can see her now."
      "I'm her fiancé," he said without hesitation.
      "Sir, her fiancé is already in there."
      Angel was confused.  Willow wasn't engaged was she.  He
looked down and saw the nurses clipboard with Willow's room number.
It was the same room Cordelia had been in.  He ran off with the nurse
yelling after him.

Spike grabbed her unharmed hand and stared at her beautiful face.
For the first time in his unlife he was speechless.  He hurt so much
on the inside, never knowing he could care so much for anyone,
especially a human. He hadn't even felt this close to Druscilla and
they were romantically involved.  The part that hurt the most was
that Spike had never treated Willow like he cared, she probably
didn't know he did.  He vowed that if she ever woke up he would treat
her different.   He slowly climbed into bed beside her.  And that's
how Angel found them
 
 

Part 10
      Spike had fallen asleep next to Willow, trying to hold her
close without hurting her.  Angel had run all the way to her room
through the complicated halls and stopped outside her door.  He
sensed Spike was in the room.  (That's who her fiancé was, he better
not be)  He opened the door to see Spike lying next to Willow.  He
knew nothing of the condition Willow was in, simply figuring the two
had fallen asleep on the bed.  He began to scan Willow's figure.  The
first thing he noticed was Spike's death grip on her hand.  Then he
saw her cast on the other arm. He began wondering what happened to
her.  The rest of her body was covered.  He could only see her
scraped, bruised face and her shining red hair.
Angel was furious with Spike just for being here.  He was mad at
Kate.  The nerve of her.  How could she tell him she could just
forget.  What if he didn't want to forget.  He was a vampire and he
always would be.  He couldn't be with some one who couldn't accept
who he was.  That's why he would probably never be with anyone ever.
It was part of why he could never be with Buffy.  He wasn't sure if
he had even been in love with her, or just made himself think he
was.  The forbidden love factor had just been too tempting.  And Kate
who said he even wanted to be with her.  She just assumed he was
attracted to her.  He wasn't she was to uptight and flighty.  Then
there was Willow.  He had wanted something to happen between the two
of them.  Now he was not so sure.  She was just so innocent.  He
didn't want to take that away from her. To taint her.  He really
didn't deserve her.  Here was acting like Kate.  He was already
deciding to turn her away without even knowing if she would have him
in the first place.  Maybe she wanted Spike.  He would never let that
happen.
As he continued to look at Willow he began to worry, not exactly
remembering why Willow had gone out.  He had been distracted.  Why
was Spike here in L.A.? Why was he lying in this bed with Willow? He
wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

Part 11
 

"SPIKE!"
      Before he even opened his eyes Spike could sense Angel in the
room.  The Bastard didn't even deserve to be here.  Spike was sure
that this was some how Angel's fault. He slowly opened his eyes.
Ignoring Angel he took his time to look once more at Willow and
gently let go of her hand, kissed her cheek, then stood up; instantly
missing her warmth.

"Peaces why did you even let Red come here? You know L.A. is
dangerous. What did you do to her? Don't bother saying it wasn't your
fault, I know it was.  Who knows why she was cryin' over you, but she
was. How could you let her walk alone at 2:00a.m!"

Angel was shocked to say the least.  Spike sounded really truly
concerned.  Why had Willow been crying? He honestly couldn't think
why.

"I can't answer any of your questions, but could you try and answer
mine," he said solemnly, "how is she."
"She's in a coma.  Broke a rib and `er arm.  Doc says she has to want
to live to wake up.  My Red's a fighter.  Why wouldn't she want to
wake up, Angel why?" Spike cried desperately.
Angel had never seen such raw emotion as he had just seen in Spike's
eyes.  He was on the verge of tears (he had even called me Angel, he
never does).  Angel didn't know what to say or do.  Spike was right.
She is a fighter.  He called her his Red, his.  Am I missing
something. What happened why was she crying.  Why wouldn't she want
to wake up, why wouldn't she want to live.  She had to live.  He
loved her.  He didn't know what form his love took on but he did love
her.  He couldn't live without her.

Spike felt just the same.  He didn't know exactly how he felt about
her, but he knew that if she died so would he.  He knew he was acting
pathetic for a vampire but he was at a loss.  Willow was absolutely
the only person in his life.  She had stopped him from killing
himself, now he vowed to do the same for her.  He would give her the
will to live.  He just had to figure out how.

Angel and Spike just stood looking into each other's hopeless and
torn faces, neither knowing what to say or do.
 
 

next