~Chapter one~

"Hey, Xander," Cordelia spoke into her cell phone as Angel sped down the highway.  "Yeah, we're on our way.  We should be there in an hour or so.  How are things on your end?"  She paused, listening to his reply. "As well as could be expected, huh."  It wasn't really a question.  Things had been difficult for the Scooby gang ever since Buffy had died.  She shot a glance at Angel, wondering if he were paying attention to her conversation.  The vampire was staring straight-ahead at the road, eyes narrowed in concentration.  Yeah, he was paying attention all right.  Self-consciously, she dropped her voice.  "Xand, how's Willow?"  She frowned.  "I know what she says, but how is she really."  Cordelia barely managed to stop herself from sighing.  It wouldn't do to make Angel worried. "That's what I thought.  Okay, well, thanks.  We'll see you soon."  She disconnected and shoved the phone into her purse.  Cordelia looked out the passenger window, training her eyes on the passing darkness.

"So?  How is she?"  Angel demanded, gruffly.

Cordelia didn't suppress her sigh this time.  She should have known it was fruitless to hope that Angel wouldn't worry about Willow.  Something he seemed to be doing much more often lately.  The implications of that weren't lost on Cordelia.  She did believe, however, that Angel was clueless.  Well, perhaps this trip would enlighten him.  "She's fine," she replied, not exactly forthcoming.

"Cordy," he growled, warningly.

The former cheerleader turned to look at him.  Noting the tense posture and the glowering countenance, Cordelia knew she had to come clean.  Angel just wasn't in the mood for fabrications.  Of course, she considered, when it came to a certain redhead, he was never in the mood.  "Well," she hesitated, trying to figure the best way to tell him what Xander had said.

"Just spit it out, Cordelia," his tone hadn't gentled and she noticed his hands clenching the steering wheel.  It suddenly occurred to her that Angel was expecting really bad news.  Out of the entire gang in Sunnydale, Willow had taken the slayer's death the hardest.  After conquering evil so many times, it just didn't seem that Buffy should die.  In desperation, the witch had tried to resurrect Buffy.  So three weeks after burying the slayer, Cordelia had received a call from Xander explaining that Willow was in a coma. The spell Willow had used to bring Buffy back to life had backfired. Angel's reaction to the news had surprised her. The trip to Sunnydale from L.A. had never been so quick.  He had practically flown them
there.

Now as they again drove to Sunnydale, Angel's distress was hard to miss.  For him, going back to Sunnydale always involved inner turmoil and heart-rending pain. In sympathy, Cordelia decided she could at least alleviate some of the anxiety she knew must be paralyzing him in some way.  "Angel, she really is okay.  Xander says she still looks a little tired and should probably rest more, but beyond that, she's doing fine.  In fact, he said he saw a sign of temper yesterday."  She smiled.  "You know Giles told her she was forbidden to do magic until she had fully recovered, right?  Apparently, she's itching to get back into the swing of things and they argued about it."

"I hope Giles won," Angel muttered.  "She's not ready yet.  Hell, she should stay away from magic all together."

"Come on, Angel," Cordelia admonished.  "You can't expect her to do that.  That would be going against her nature.  You've been trying that for years, decades even, and you haven't been very successful. What makes you think she could do any better?"

The vampire spared a glance at his companion.  "This isn't about me.  This is about Willow.  She nearly died trying to bring Buffy back to life."

"Yeah, sure it was scary for a few days there," Cordelia agreed.  "But she came out of it.  I think it's about time we moved passed it.  Lord knows I'm sure Willow wants to.  It's been almost three weeks since she came home from the hospital.  Besides, with the evil in Sunnydale reaching a new high, you know she just can't sit around and not do anything."

Angel ran a hand through his tousled hair.  He wanted to agree, but he had conflicting emotions where Willow was concerned.  It had been that way for a long time. Even before Buffy had died, his feelings for Willow had been confusing.  "I realize that, Cordy, but I still think she needs to be more careful.  She should back off the witchcraft for a while.  There's a new slayer in Sunnydale.  Let her worry about the Hellmouth."

The would-be actress snorted.  "Yeah, right.  She's still in training and so is her watcher.  Why do you think Giles asked us to visit?  If they need our help then you know how anxious Willow must be to pitch in."

"Okay, okay," Angel gave in.  "You're right.  I just don't have to like it."

Cordelia smiled at him, triumphantly.  She knew her small victory would help Willow in the long run.  It would be one less battle for the redhead to fight. Cordelia just knew the witch was having the same argument with Xander and Giles.  She didn't need Angel adding his two cents.  "No, you don't have to like it," she agreed.  "You do have to respect her enough to let her make her own decisions, though."

"Damn it, Cordy," Angel swore.  "I do respect her. More than you know.  But.oh, fuck," he muttered, realizing he was about to reveal more than he wanted to about his feelings for Willow.  He decided it didn't matter anymore.  Knowing Cordelia, she probably was already quite aware of how he felt.  "I worry about her.  I don't want to see her hurt."  He took a deep, unneeded breath.  "I don't think I could handle it if something happened to her."

Compassionately, Cordelia laid a hand on his arm.  "I understand how you feel, Angel.  It's not easy to let someone into your heart, is it?"

The vampire smiled mockingly, trying to lighten the mood.  "My heart's dead, Cordy, like the rest of me."

"Oh, that's where you're wrong," Cordelia contradicted.  "You have a heart, Angel, and it's pretty big.  In fact, sometimes I worry because I think you care too much."

"I don't care enough," Angel countered, his tone full of recrimination.

"You care about Willow," his companion returned softly.

"That's because she's special."

"So are you, Angel," Cordelia tried to convince him.

Angel glanced at her, but didn't reply.  He couldn't think of anything to say.

After a while, Cordelia turned to face the front.  She watched the road, noting that the headlights of Angel's car were the only things keeping them out of the dark.  Idly, she wondered why every trip to Sunnydale since Buffy's death had been in pure darkness.  There were no stars and the clouds seem to cover the moon.  Cordelia wondered if it was an omen.

"Thanks, Cordy," Angel's quiet voice interrupted her musings.

She looked at him.  "You're welcome."

The next few miles were spent in a comfortable silence.  It wasn't until they were a short distance from Sunnydale that Angel spoke again.  "Did Xander mention anything about Tara?"

Cordelia's eyes narrowed as she once again turned in her seat to face the vampire.  "What do you mean?"

Angel shrugged.  "Willow broke up with Tara.  About a week and a half ago."

"You knew about that?" Cordelia asked, surprised.

He nodded.  "Yeah, I think I knew before Tara did. Willow called to talk to me about it."

"You mean Willow asked for your advice?!"  If she had been surprised before, Cordelia was completely flabbergasted now.  "What on earth possessed her to do that?"

"Ha, ha," Angel replied.  "She needed to talk so she called me.  We're friends.  Friends do that for each other.  And, unlike you, she respects my many years of wisdom."

Cordelia rolled her eyes and muttered to herself. "Well, if that's not proof that Willow might actually have feelings for you, too, than I don't know what is."

Angel frowned.  He couldn't possibly have heard Cordelia correctly.  "What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing," Cordelia hastily replied.  She had her suspicions about how the redhead felt about Angel, but her theory had yet to be confirmed.  "I just think it's funny that she considers you wise.  After all, old age is not a prerequisite for wisdom."

It was Angel's turn to roll his eyes.  He knew she was trying to shift the conversation away from her unintentional slip, which meant he had heard her correctly.  It gave him something to think about.  In the meantime, he'd play along.  "Gee, Cordy, I didn't think you knew what prerequisite meant.  It's such a big word."

Cordelia crossed her arms and glared at him.  "Angel," she said warningly.

Angel decided to give in gracefully.  He knew when to quit when he was ahead.  If he antagonized his seer any further, he might not get an answer to his question.  "So.  You never did tell me.  Did Xander say anything about Tara?"

Cordelia glared at him a little longer and then relented.  "He didn't mention anything about Tara when I talked to him earlier.  But, a couple of days ago, we talked about it.  Xander said that things are getting better.  Willow's no longer finding flowers and books on her porch.  And the phone messages have gone from fifteen to one or two."

"That's good," Angel felt some of the tension leave his body.  Although Willow had tried to make light of the situation when she'd told him what was going on, he still had worried.

"Yeah, it is," Cordelia agreed.  "Man, it was kind of creepy there for a while.  No matter how Willow tried to make it unimportant, Tara was still stalking her."

Angel glanced at her, startled.  It was as if she had read his mind.  He'd never underestimate Cordelia's observation skills again.

Oblivious to Angel's amazement, Cordelia continued. "I'm so glad Anya and Xander decided to stay with her after she moved back home.  Because, geez, it's not like her parents are around much."

"Spike's been keeping an eye on her, too," Angel revealed.  "He watches over Dawn like a hawk because of his promise to Buffy, but he looks after Willow, too.  He knows Buffy would have wanted it that way."

"You keep in touch with Spike?"  Cordelia asked, amazed.

"He's family," Angel stated, simply.  "Ironically, Buffy's death brought us closer together.  He loved her and so I knew how he felt when she died."

"You knew of his feelings for her?  Boy, you're just full of surprises tonight."  The dark-haired woman shook her head.

"Let's just say I like to know what's going on," Angel said as the Welcome to Sunnydale sign came into view.

"That's the only thing that doesn't surprise me," Cordelia murmured, glancing around the darkened town she once called home.  "I hope it doesn't take too long for us to defeat this merry band of demons.  I so want to go home.  I hate this place."

"You don't want to see Willow or Xander?  Or any of the others?"  It was Angel's turn to be surprised.

"I said I hate the place," she stressed.  "Not the people in it.  You think we could get our friends to move to L.A.?  With the new slayer they don't need to be here anymore."  Her tone was hopeful.

"Wishful thinking, Cordy," he murmured, although he often wished the same.  At least he wished Willow would move to Los Angeles.  He knew, however, that as long as Willow was needed in Sunnydale, she'd never leave.  Maybe he'd just have to convince her she was needed in L.A.  Even as the thought occurred to him he realized it wasn't a bad idea.  It looked as if he now had a totally different purpose for being in Sunnydale.  With that thought, he smiled.

Cordy noted the smile and wondered.
 

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