Resolution
By Dante
December 2000
"How was your Christmas, Buffy?" Willow Rosenberg asked her best
friend, wispy clouds escaping from her mouth with every exhaled
word. She shoved her gloved hands into her pockets as she shivered.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hoped no vampires would spring
out of the winter darkness to attack them. Surely it was way
too
cold for any bad creatures of the night to be roaming about.
It
certainly was true for them. But, a slayer's work was never done.
Buffy Summers noticed her friend's discomfort and patted Willow's
shoulder sympathetically. "We're almost done for the night, Wills.
Then you can go home to your nice, warm bed." She smiled.
"As for
Christmas, it was great. I spent it with Mom and Dawn."
A look of
profound gladness settled upon her and her voice grew soft. "Since
Mom's surgery, I've realized how precious family is. It was nice
to
spend time with them."
Willow glanced at her, a smile touching her own lips. "I'm glad
you
had a good Christmas. What are you planning on doing for New Year's?
I thought maybe we could all get together and pop fireworks…forget
about the baddies for a little while."
"I'm sorry, Willow," Buffy said, chagrined. "I won't be here.
I'm
L.A. bound."
"You're going to see Angel?" Willow stopped in her tracks and
stared
at her friend. She hoped her sudden twirling emotions weren't
lighting up her face like the proverbial Christmas tree...or Menorah
as the case may be. Just hearing the souled vampire's name evoked
strong feelings within her. Willow yearned for him like she had
no
other. With each passing day, each passing moment she fell in
love
with him. It didn't matter that there was distance between
them...both physically and figuratively.
What did matter was Buffy. She and Angel may have been apart for
almost a year and a half, but Willow knew they still loved each
other. Therefore, she had to keep her feelings to herself.
Willow
would forsake her own happiness for her best friend. With that
intent, she tried to clamp down on her emotions and looked curiously
at Buffy.
The slayer hid a smile. Willow couldn't hide her love for the
vampire. Buffy had known for months how Willow felt about Angel.
She also knew the hacker took friendship very seriously. If Willow
thought it could in any way hurt Buffy, the redhead would not pursue
a relationship with Angel.
But Buffy was no longer interested in Angel. They made better
friends than lovers. Besides, she was happy with Riley...or had
been. She sighed. Buffy would find him. He was the
love of her
life after all.
"Buffy? Earth to Buffy?" Willow gently tugged at Buffy's
arm. Her
friend was miles away. 'Probably thinking about Angel,' the redhead
thought. It was her turn to sigh, knowing she had made the right
decision. She'd never get involved with Angel. She'd never
hurt her
best friend.
The blonde looked at Willow, startled. "Huh? Oh, sorry,
Wills.
Kinda got lost in my own thoughts," she answered with a smile.
Willow nodded. "About Angel." She gave her friend a quick
hug. "It'll work out somehow, Buffy. You'll see.
Just give it some
time."
Buffy frowned at her. "What? Uh, no, I wasn't thinking about
Angel." She looked at her best friend, seeing the hint of defeat
on
her pretty face. She'd been trying to convince Willow for months
that she no longer loved the brooding vampire. The redhead didn't
seem to hear her, though, so that left Buffy with only one option.
She just hoped it worked.
"Lost again, Buffy?" Willow teased with a smile. "Maybe
we should
get you a map."
"Ha, ha, funny, Wills," the blonde laughed. "You've been hanging
around Xander for way too long."
The other girl's smile became a full-fledged grin and she
shrugged. "I've been hanging with Xander all my life."
"Ah, I see," Buffy did her best imitation of her former watcher.
"I
think we've found the problem. You mustn't be friends with Xander
any longer. He is too much of a bad influence. We can't
have any of
that."
Willow slapped her arm lightly and started to laugh. "If only
Giles
could hear you."
"Oh, no, no, no," Buffy continued, her British accent almost sounding
convincing. "Giles mustn't know of this." The slayer resumed
in her
normal voice. "If Giles ever found out, we'd never hear the end
of
it."
"You're right," Willow agreed and they grinned at each other.
"But
for the record, Xander is a good man."
Buffy looked solemnly at her. "Agreed...Charlie Brown."
There was a pause before they started laughing again.
"Okay, enough," Willow said, gasping for breath. "We don't stop
laughing and we'll attract all sorts of creepy crawlies."
"You're right as always, Will," Buffy replied as they both sobered at
the thought. It had been a relatively quiet night and neither
wanted
to break the spell. 'Besides,' Buffy thought to herself, 'can't
get
on with the plan if I'm slaying the baddies.'
Totally oblivious to Buffy's thoughts, Willow's next words
nonetheless set the plan back on track. "If you weren't thinking
about Angel, who were you thinking about," she asked, softly.
Buffy linked arms with her best friend and began walking. "I was
thinking about Riley. I love him so much, Will, and I shut him
out.
Now, he's gone." She stopped walking and pulled away from Willow.
Looking down at her feet, the slayer wrapped her arms around
herself. She missed Riley and all of the sudden her situation
looked
bleak.
"Buffy," Willow spoke, her voice still soft. She hated to see
her
friend in such pain. Maybe she had been wrong about Buffy and
Angel. Buffy seemed to really care about Riley. Laying
a hand on
the slayer's shoulder, she continued, "I-I never realized you felt
this deeply about Riley."
Buffy looked up, staring her friend in the eyes. Could it be that
Willow was beginning to understand? "I love him, Will.
What Angel
and I had...well, I won't deny it was something special, but it's
nothing compared to what I have with Riley." She paused. "Had
with
Riley. I can't believe I've made such a mess of things."
She shook
her head.
Willow stared earnestly into her best friend's face. "Buffy, it'll
be all right. I'll help you find Riley. Xander will, too.
The
whole gang will. Even Spike."
The slayer rolled her eyes. "Oh, puh-lease. Ole peroxide
doesn't
want to have anything to do with me. He'd be no help."
"That's where you're wrong, Buffy," Willow replied, quietly. "He
gives a pretty good imitation of the big bad, but deep down you and
I
both know he'd help."
Buffy smiled, sheepishly. "I know, Will, and I'm going to need
all
the help I can get."
Willow nodded. "That's what friends are for. I'm sure even
Angel
will help. He's a detective now."
Buffy glanced out into the darkness. "Yeah," she said. "He'd
help." Pulling herself together, she turned to Willow.
"Okay,
that's it! No more pity party for me. I *will* find Riley."
With
that announcement, she once again slipped her arm through Willow's
and began to walk.
Grinning at her friend's determination, Willow allowed herself to be
pulled along. She was always amazed at Buffy's ability to bounce
back. "Yeah, Buffy, we'll find him. And the poor boy won't
know
what hit him." With that statement, Willow made her own resolution.
She'd help Buffy find the love of her life. Willow wanted to
see
Buffy happy...truly happy.
Buffy giggled. "You got that right, Wills. He won't know
what hit
him." 'And neither will Angel,' she thought. She glanced
over at
the woman walking beside her. 'Or, Willow,' she added to herself.
The girls walked silently for a few minutes. They were walking
in
the direction of Willow's house. Patrolling had almost come to
an
end and it was getting colder. Both were anxious to get home
and
warm.
"So, Buffy," Willow broke the comfortable silence. "If you're
not
going to see Angel, why are you going to L.A.?"
"I'm going to see my Dad," Buffy replied. "Mom's dropping us off
with him on her way to visit some friends in Santa Barbara. Dawn
and
I are both looking forward to spending New Year's with him."
"That's so cool, Buffy," Willow enthused. "You'll have a great time."
Buffy nodded. "What about you? I hate to leave you by yourself--"
Willow interrupted. "Stop that, Buffy! I'll be fine.
You need to
spend time with your family. Get away from the responsibilities
of
slaying. It'll be good for you."
"Well," The slayer was reluctant to give up so easily...at least it
appeared to be that way. Inwardly, she was cheering. Willow
was
falling right into her plan. "I guess you're right, Will.
Maybe
this will give you some time to spend with *your* family."
Willow shook her head. "Nope. Mom and dad are going out
of town
tomorrow. They'll be gone for about two weeks." There was
no trace
of sadness in her voice. She was used to being alone on holidays
and
in actual truth, liked it that way. There were no pesky questions
to
answer if her parents weren't home. Ignorance was bliss and Willow
liked to see her parents, well, blissful. "I'll just hang out
with
Xander and Anya. Maybe Tara."
Buffy frowned. "I thought you and Tara broke up."
"We did," Willow acknowledged. "We were never meant to be together,
but we're still friends."
"Hmmm, that's good." Buffy wasn't sure if it really was good.
She
hadn't expected this. If this was going to work, Willow had to
be
convinced that she would be alone at New Year's. At least that's
what the gang had decided when she had told them her plan. "Uh,
Xander and Anya won't be around, though. They're going to San
Francisco. It seems that Anya has never been there." She
snorted. "Not that she'll see much of it. They'll be too
busy
boffing like bunnies in some hotel room."
Willow rolled her eyes. "Way too much information." She
sighed. "Well, it's no big deal. I'll just stay home, surf
the net,
maybe clean out my closet..." Her ideas sounded lame even to her own
ears.
"You're kidding, right, Wills?" Buffy stopped and stared at
her. "That's no way to spend New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.
You
mentioned Tara. Maybe that isn't such a bad idea. I mean,
with
Giles still in England for the holidays, you'd be all alone.
I'd
feel better knowing you were with someone you cared about."
"No," Willow shook her head. "Tara's nice and all, but I don't
really want to spend the holiday with her. She's got a new
girlfriend."
Buffy looked at her, surprised, but didn't say anything.
Willow answered the look anyway. "Yeah, they met about a week
before
Christmas. She's nice. I really wouldn't want to spoil
any romantic
moments. As it is, I'd feel like a third wheel." She glanced
away,
mumbling to herself. "I wish I could spend it with someone I
cared
about." A picture of Angel flashed through her mind.
"What was that, Willow?" Buffy asked, having heard her perfectly.
Her best friend blushed. "Nothing. Not important."
"If you say so," Buffy replied. "Come on, let's get you home."
She
took two steps forward and stopped suddenly. "Wow! I can't
believe
I just now thought of this. It's perfect."
Willow looked at her friend, confusion in her eyes. "Huh?
What are
you talking about, Buffy? What's perfect?"
The slayer inwardly took a deep breath. This was it. The
moment of
truth. The plan had to work. It just did. She wanted
to see her
friends happy and she knew this would do it. "No one's going
to be
around for New Year's. You'll just be by yourself, Willow.
Why
don't you go see Angel?"
Willow looked at her friend as if she had gone mad. "Buffy, you
can't be serious. I can't just drop everything and go see Angel.
That's crazy."
"It is *not* crazy," Buffy countered. "And what would you be
dropping? I don't like the idea of you being alone, Willow.
If
you're with Angel, I'll know you'll be safe."
Incredulity spread across the redhead's features. Was Buffy
kidding? Safe? She'd never be safe from Angel. He
was the most
dangerous place to be. He had already stolen her heart and she
wanted more than anything to give him her body. How safe was
that?
Of course, she knew full well that wasn't what Buffy meant. "I
can
take care of myself."
Buffy heaved an exasperated sigh. She had known this wasn't going
to
be easy. "I know, Will. That's not what I meant."
Glancing at her
friend she amended that thought. "Well, yeah it was. But
that's
only part of it." The blonde took a deep breath and tried
again. "I just don't want you to be alone. No one should
be alone
at holiday time. It's not right. I'd feel better if you
were with
Angel. At least then I'd know you were with someone who cared
about
you."
Throughout the conversation, the amazed look hadn't left Willow's
face. In fact, surprise didn't even cover what she felt anymore.
She was floored. "Buffy, what's gotten into you? You haven't
been
drinking egg nog with alcohol have you? What you're saying isn't
making any sense. Angel doesn't care about me."
'Oh, you are so wrong, Willow,' Buffy thought, sadly. 'He cares
a
lot.' Out loud, she said, "Gee, thanks a lot, Wills. I
have *not*
been hitting the egg nog...with or without alcohol."
"Then where are you getting these ridiculous ideas from?" The
redhead asked puzzled. There was no way the man of her dreams
cared
about her. Was there? She shook her head, trying to jar
the thought
loose. She couldn't even dare to hope. "I just can't just
go see
Angel. He doesn't care--"
"Yes, he does!" Buffy interrupted forcefully. She hated
when Willow
chose to be stubborn.
Willow looked startled. "Uh, Buffy, I know you're trying to help
and
I really appreciate that. I just don't think it's a good idea,
that's all. I'll be fine on my own. There's nothing for
you to
worry about." She smiled, hoping it would convince her best friend
to drop the subject.
The plan was falling apart right before Buffy's eyes. Time to
change
tactics. "You know, Willow, I thought you cared about Angel.
Guess
I was wrong."
The smile slid from Willow's face. Anger and hurt warred for
dominance in her eyes. Buffy saw the battle and felt like
cheering. 'That's it, Wills, fight me on this. Fight me,
and you
and I will both win.'
"I can't believe you said that, Buffy," the redhead stared at her
friend. "You know I care about him. Angel's my friend."
Buffy sighed and relented. "I'm sorry, Will. I didn't mean
for that
to sound so harsh. It's just that I care about him, too.
And,
well..." With a calculated move, she looked away.
Willow briefly touched her arm causing Buffy to look back at her.
The hacker looked confused. "And, well, what?"
Buffy let the sadness shine from her eyes. "He's alone, too.
Cordelia and her family went skiing. Wesley's gone home to spend
the
holidays. It's just so sad, Willow. I mean, how many New
Year's has
he rung in alone? The holidays are so bad for him." A faraway
look
came into her eyes as she thought about one holiday in particular.
What she was saying was true. Angel didn't deserve to be alone
at
holiday time. He deserved to spend the holidays with the woman
he
loved. And that woman was Willow. "I'll tell you something
I've
never told anyone, Willow. Sometimes I wish he didn't have a
soul.
Then he wouldn't care so much, feel so much. I don't like to
see him
hurting." She finished, softly.
Willow's eyes filled with tears. "I've thought that, too,
sometimes. I know it's bad of us. If Angelus ever came
back..." She
trailed off, knowing Buffy could fill in her own conclusion.
Buffy nodded, carefully watching her friend. She sensed Willow
had
finally reached a point where she was ready to share her feelings
about Angel. The slayer wasn't disappointed.
"It's just not fair," Willow burst out. "He's suffered so much,
Buffy." Her lower lip trembled and she tried to reign in her
troubled thoughts. "I know he's a vampire," she continued, her
voice
low. "I know he killed lots of people. Angelus was evil,
I *know*
that. But that's in the past. Angel is no longer that person."
She
dropped her eyes to the ground and her voice got quieter. "You
want
to know what the really scary thing is, if he were to become Angelus
again, I'd still care about him. Guess that makes me stupid,
huh?"
"Oh, Willow," Buffy threw her arms around her friend. "It doesn't
make you stupid. It makes you in love."
The redhead looked up, startled. "Y-you know?"
Buffy chuckled. "It's kind of hard to miss. But that's okay.
You're secret is safe with me."
Willow gave Buffy a quick hug before they separated. "Thanks,
Buffy,
for understanding. And-and for not being mad."
"I could never be mad at you, Willow," Buffy admonished. She grasped
her friend's hands and squeezed them gently. "So, it's settled.
You're going to L.A. to see Angel. We're leaving tomorrow.
You can
catch a ride with us. All we need to do is get you home so that
you
can pack." With that, Buffy let go of Willow's hands and began
marching toward Willow's home.
The redhead was rooted to her spot and she could only stare at her
friend's retreating form, dumbfounded.
The slayer looked back at her. "Well, come on, silly. Don't
just
stand there," She called in exasperation.
Willow stared at her a moment longer before sprinting to catch up
with Buffy. Soon they had covered the distance to Willow's front
door. The hacker pulled out her keys and inserted one into the
lock. She paused and looked at Buffy.
"What is it?" Buffy asked. "Something on my face?"
Willow smiled. "No. It's just that I'm still not sure this
is a
good idea. I may love Angel and want to be with him, but he doesn't
feel the same way. I don't want to make him mad at me by just
showing up on his doorstep like some homeless puppy."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "First of all, you need to stop thinking
for
Angel. If you want to know how he feels, *ask* him. Only
then will
you know for sure. Secondly, he's still your friend so he won't
be
angry if you showed up for a visit. In fact, you need to go see
him. He needs a friend," she finished, softly.
"You're right, Buffy," Willow smiled. "I'll go see Angel."
Buffy returned the smile. "Good. That's all settled.
Now go on
upstairs and pack a bag. We'll swing by at about noon to pick
you
up. Night, Wills." The slayer turned to go.
"Buffy," Willow called and the blonde turned around. "Um, I just
wanted to...um, that is I wanted you to know about what I said about
Angelus..."
"Yeah?" Buffy looked at her, puzzled. "What about it?"
"I-I didn't mean I wanted Angelus to come back. All I meant was
that
Angel was special. I mean, is special. And even if he were
Angelus
he'd still be special. I mean, not as special as Angel.
Special in
a different way. I mean, I'd still care...I--oh, I don't know
what I
mean," Willow ended, dejectedly.
Buffy laughed. "I know what you mean, Wills. I don't want
Angelus
back either. So make sure his soul is anchored before you make
him
too happy...if you know what I mean." She wiggled her eyebrows,
lasciviously.
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, blushing.
"Sweet dreams, Wills!" Buffy waved goodbye, laughter still bubbling
from her lips. "See you tomorrow."
"Night." Willow waved back weakly before entering her house.
She
closed the door and leaned back against it, her eyes closed.
What
had she just agreed to? Dozens of pictures of Angel assailed
her.
Angel all in black. Angel brooding. Angel in leather.
Angel
shirtless. "Oh, boy," she whispered to herself. She was
going to be
alone with the love of her life at least for a weekend. Could
she
control herself? Only time would tell. With a sigh, she
opened her
eyes and went upstairs to pack.
Meanwhile, Buffy continued her walk home. When she was out of
sight
of the Rosenberg home, she paused. She smiled as she glanced
into
the darkness. "Happy New Year, Angel." Her smile became
a grin and
she literally skipped home.
"Thanks, Buffy," Angel whispered, a grin on his own face. "Thank
you
so much."
He turned and headed for his car. Time to go home. After
all, the
woman of his dreams was coming to visit.
The End.
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