The Unforgiven

Excuses and Rationalizations: This part is just plain strange.  So sue me!  :P

Dedication:  Thanks to Marcia for suggesting the 'Get Out of Staking Free' card and letting me borrow it.  =)

PAY ATTENTION!! 
Willow speak - no brackets 
[Angel speak] - brackets 
(Lucy speak) - parenthesis 
There are no thoughts in this part! 
 

"Angel?" 
["Shhh.  I'm here."] 
"You scared me tonight.  I was afraid that you'd left me." 
~sniffling~ 
["I'll never leave, Seabhaicín.  You're all that I've got."] 
"You still scared me." 
["I know.  I'm sorry.  Thomas said that you were crying."]

"Angel, don't hang your head." 
["I'm not!  Besides how can I be?  I'm lying down."] 
"You are and don't.  You always hang your head when you feel bad, like a whipped puppy!" 
["Gee thanks.  I love you too."]

~soft sigh and a rustle~ 
["You're tense."] 
"Yes.well.to be expected.Oh!.higher.to the right.that's it!" 
~moan of pleasure~ 
["You need to rest more.  You haven't been sleeping enough."] 
"Mmmm.I can go without sleep for weeks." 
["Maybe normally but right now the strain is too much.  You're going to start sleeping every day until the baby is born."] 
"Angel--" 
["No arguments, Willow."] 
"But the dreams--" 
["No."] 
~sigh~  "All right, but I think that you're being a petty tyrant!" ~pout~ 
["Think that, but you don't listen to anyone but your mother and me.  Don't make me drag your mother into this, Willow."] 
"I said all right!" 
["Good." ~grunt~]

~long silence~ 
"Angel?" 
["Hmm?"] 
"We need to talk." 
["'Bout what?"] 
"Us." 
[~groan~  "Can't it wait until morning?"] 
"No." 
~silence~ 
"Angel, haven't you ever had a wound festering under a scab?" 
["I was a boy.  Of course I did."] 
"Sometimes the only way to let the poison out is to--" 
["Sean and I used to compete to see who could keep one open the longest."] 
".ewww." 
["Well, you asked."] 
"It used to be the only way I could get a direct answer from you was with a pair of pliers." 
["I've changed."] 
"Not that much."

~pause~ 
[Not that much.  But I'm trying."] 
"It's funny really.  In some ways I'm a lot more like you used to be and you're more like me." 
["Lying and deceiving will cause you nothing but heartache."] 
"I didn't mean to lie to you, Angel.  I was just.withholding." 
["Now you're rationalizing.  I used to do the exact same thing."] 
~movement~ 
["Willow, just about every problem I've ever had was caused by lying or not saying something that should have been said."] 
"I know.  You have gotten better.  Your cryptic quotient is down to the fiftieth percentile." 
["Fifty is way too high.  Closer to forty.maybe even thirty."] 
~soft giggle~  "Yes dear." 
[That's not the point!  Haven't you learned anything from my bad habits?!"] 
"Yep."  ~smirk~   "Just about every bad habit I have I learned from you." 
[~grumble~] 
~soothing shush~  "I love you, Angel, but you're doing it again.  You're trying to use misdirection to avoid the subject." 
["Drat.  You weren't supposed to notice."] 
"I'm sorry."

~another long silence~ 
"We still need to talk." 
["I know.but I'm tired.  Can't this wait until tomorrow?"] 
"No, we need to talk now." 
["Women."  ~another soft grumble~] 
"Modern men are much more touchy-feely than you old-timer coots." 
["Then call Xander.  It's only.oh, two am on the West Coast.  I'm sure that he'd love hear from you."] 
"Stop being sarcastic."  ~poke~ 
["Ouch."] 
"Aww.poor baby.let me kiss and make it better." 
~smooching sounds and movement~ 
"You taste like Aqua Fresh." 
["Mmm."] 
"You've been hunting, haven't you?" 
["."] 
"This is all my fault." 
["I was upset."] 
"Because of me." 
["Don't worry about it.  I can't feed on you while you're with child anyway."] 
"But--" 
["Hush.  I still enjoy hunting even if I don't do it much anymore."] 
~exhaled breath~  "How did it go?" 
["Better than you'd like.  There seems to be a nest of them."] 
"Damn.  Guillaume and his 'herd'.  I'll speak with Drea in the morning." 
["It is morning.  I can feel the sun rising."] 
"Fine, I'll speak with Drea when I get up."

~silence~ 
"Angel." 
["Willow."] 
"Would you please just say it?  I can feel it there between us like a wall." 
["Say what?"] 
"That you feel betrayed, you feel hurt, you're upset with me.  Anything is better than brooding silence." 
["I wasn't brooding.trying to sleep."] 
"Oh." 
[~sigh~  "Fine, if it makes you feel better: you hurt my feelings.  There, happy?"] 
~a body turning over~ 
"No." 
[~soft growl~  "Woman, you're nuts."] 
"I know.  I'm sorry.  I wish there was some way that I could make it up to you." 
["No need."] 
"Are you ever going to forgive me?" 
[~long sigh and more movement~  "Seabhaicín, forgiveness will never be an issue between us."] 
~sniffle~  "But you're holding stuff back, Angel.  The last two years have been wonderful but it just isn't like it was before." 
["There's no going back, Willow."] 
"I know that but we're not going forward either.  We've been in a holding pattern for two years.  I keep thinking that things will get better but they never do.  Sometimes I think that it's my imagination, but then we'll be in a meld and I'll feel it there.a barrier in your mind keeping me out." 
["Aren't you happy?"] 
"Yes, of course!  And no.I want more.  I want things between us like they were before.perfect." 
[~body turning over~  "Willow, I can't."] 
~soft strangled cry~  "Can't ever trust me again?  A part of you hates me, doesn't it?  For letting you go." 
~harsh sigh~  "Willow, I couldn't hate you." 
"But?" 
["But you hurt me.  You hurt me more than anyone ever has in my entire life.  I let you in.gave you my heart, my mind, and my soul.and you threw me away.  Buffy sent my body to hell once, but you sent my soul.  It hurt like hell."] 
~sob~  "That's not what--" 
["I know that's not what happened, but that's how I felt."] 
~more crying~ 
["Dammit, Willow.don't cry."] 
~hic~ 
["Fuck.  I never should have opened my mouth."] 
~hic~ 
[~movement~  "Come'ere."] 
~hic~ 
["I'm sorry.  I never should have said that."] 
~sniffling~  "No.no.it was good that you said it.  Out in the open." 
["No, it wasn't.  I'm being silly.  I've had too many years to brood about this.  The barn is always bigger after it's burned down."] 
~sniff~  "Your feelings are never silly, Angel."

~thoughtful silence~ 
["You did what was right, Seabhaicín.  I loved Buffy to death.  She burned through my life like a bright bold flame and then she was gone.  We were happy together and we never would have had that if it weren't for you."] 
"Thank you for saying that.you're so sweet." 
[~grumble~  "I'm not sweet."] 
~soggy giggle~  "Yes, yes, you are."

~bodies shifting~ 
"I was scared to death that she'd guess how we still felt, that she'd reject you and that everything we gave up would go to waste." 
["She knew how we felt."] 
"But!  I.no." 
["She knew Willow.  Buffy and I talked about it.  She knew."] 
"She never said anything to me." 
["She didn't want to make you uncomfortable or hurt you more."] 
"Did she ever forgive me.?" 
["Forgive you?  No.  She wasn't angry.  She told me to tell you if you ever asked: no one had ever made her feel so loved."] 
"She was my best friend." 
["She was mine too.  Next to you."] 
"Are you ever going to forgive me.?" 
[~long sigh~  "It's not a question of forgiveness, Seabhaicín.  I'm an cranky old coot.  It's going to take me a while to open up to you again.  I have a hard time trusting my heart to another."] 
~sniff~ 
"Now that we've talked about it, can we at least try?" 
["Of course we can.  I'm sorry.  I didn't even realize what I was doing until you said something."] 
"I think that maybe we spend too much time apart." 
["I think that maybe you're right."] 
"I love you." 
["I love you too."] 
~smooching noises~ 
~giggle~  "Moppet is going to think that her parents are nuts."

~sudden uncomfortable silence~ 
["We're going to find some way to save her, Seabhaicín."] 
"I know." 
["No one is sacrificing any innocent children."] 
"I know.  We'll find some way to save them.  Together." 
[~soft hiss~  "All of them."]

~solid rapping knock~ 
("Willow?  Are you there?") 
"Hold on!" 
~rustling of clothes, footsteps, a door opening~ 
"Lucy?  What's wrong?" 
("I'm sorry to disturb you but the Slayer is missing.  I checked and she's not in her room.")

Wednesday, May 8, 2019 
Forty-five minutes before sunrise 
A dark alley not far from Watcher headquarters

 "Kill me, start a war!"

 Drea hesitated while the vampire cowered.  The stake twitched nervously in her hand as she fought the impulse to ram it into the girl's heart.  Her Slayer instincts screamed to finish the kill, in direct contradiction to her training.  Willow and Lucy, her personal Watcher, had warned her about Kindred.  She wasn't supposed to slay them.

 "Prove it," she demanded gruffly, brandishing the stake in front of the girl's face.  "What's the password?"

 "Password?" the vampire squeaked.  "What password?!  No one told me that there was a password!"  She whimpered as Drea pressed the tip of the stake to her nose.  The vampire girl's slight form shook with fear.  She was easily half a foot smaller than the Slayer and sounded younger than Drea's fifteen years.

 Drea grunted.  Damn.  There wasn't a password.  She'd just made it up as a test and the vampire.Kindred.had passed.  "What about your 'Get Out of Staking Free' card?" she asked, trying one more time to catch the girl out.  "Do you have it with you?"

 "Are you kidding?!"  The vampire managed to sound outraged beneath a thick veil of fear. 

 "Never mind that," Drea instructed.  "Why were you following me?"

 "I was told to!"

 "By who?"

 "My elders.  Look, I wasn't given a choice!  I was told to watch your back and warn you if there was an ambush.  I never meant to get this close, honest!  I got cornered during the fight and there was no way past you without being seen."

 Drea grumbled, chewing her lip.  Damn.  Her story checked out with what she knew about Kindred.  "All right," she snarled, putting away her stake.  "I'll let you live.for now."

 The vampire exhaled mightily with relief and tried to edge past the Slayer.  She desired only to flee for her life.  Without warning, Drea lashed out and grabbed the girl's hair near the nape of her neck.  She yipped in pain and fear as the Slayer almost pulled her off of her feet.

 "What are you doing?!"

 "Taking you prisoner.  In case you're lying.  Come'on."  With a harsh yank, she threw the girl down the alleyway in front of her.  The vampire tripped and stumbled while the irate Slayer herded her from behind.  "If you're lying, I'm going to crucify you," she threatened, placing an imprisoning hand on her captive's shoulder.  "And relish every single second."