Author: Dayna

E-mail: honzr@midstate.tds.net

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: TPWFLD; Angel of Mine; otherwise please ask.

Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Willow ran from the library in tears. {How could she do this to me? How could they not have told me?} She was so upset that she didn't hear anyone approach. Willow felt herself grabbed from behind and drug into an alley. She struggled with her attacker, but he was too strong. Willow was thrown against the building, then everything went dark.

Angel walked over to Willow, and checked for a pulse. The vampire who had attacked her had run when he'd seen Angel. Now Angel had Willow right where he wanted her, but he would wait. He wanted to see her fear when he killed her.

Willow's eyes fluttered open, and she rolled slightly to her side, and grabbed her head. "Ouch."

"Bet that hurts."

Willow looked toward the sound of the voice. She hadn't realized there was anyone else there.

"Where are we?" Willow asked.

"The alley."

Willow pushed herself into a leaning position against the wall. Her head felt like it had been split in half. She focused her vision, and looked at the man. There was something familiar about him, but she didn't know his name.

"Who are you?" Willow asked.

Angel looked at her closely, surprise evident on his face. He moved closer to her, and saw the blank expression on her face. {She doesn't know who I am.}

"Don't you remember me?"

Willow stared at the man in front of her. He was an attractive man, dressed in leather pants and a white shirt. Other then a vague feeling that she did know him, she couldn't remember anything about him.

"No, should I?"

"I would think so. We have quite a history together. Do you remember anything? Like your name?"

"My name is......" She had no idea. She tried to make her mind work, but nothing came to her.

"Your name is Willow."

Willow repeated the name, and tried to associate it with herself. "It doesn't mean anything to me. All I can remember is waking up here with a splitting headache."

Angel stood watching the young woman. She had no memory of anything or anyone. {This is too perfect!}

"What happened to me?" Willow asked.

Angel went over and knelt in front of Willow. He noticed she didn't try to move away, she only watched him cautiously.

"It's not safe to talk here. Let's go back to my apartment."

Angel gripped Willow's arms and helped her up. Willow clutched at his shoulders as a wave of dizziness hit her. Once the world quit spinning, Willow looked into the man's eyes.

"What's your name?"

"Angel."

Angel waited to see if his name triggered anything, but nothing happened. "Can you walk?"

"I think so." Willow replied.

They began moving toward the street, but Willow stopped.

"What's the matter?" Angel asked.

Angel watched Willow look around, then look at him. He made his face relax so that he wouldn't appear threatening.

"I'm scared. I don't even know who you are, but I'm leaving with you."

"Willow, I know this must be scary for you. It was scary for me too." Angel said.

"Why?"

Angel took Willow's hands and began rubbing them.

"I found you in the alley after you were attacked. It scared me seeing you lying there unconscious. I thought I was going to lose you."

Willow watched Angel's face. He seemed so sincere, but she was still scared. She didn't remember him, but she wanted to trust him. After all, he had protected her. And he was the only person she had right now.

"Let's go."

Angel smiled and wrapped an arm around Willow's shoulders. They began walking to his apartment in silence. Willow was trying to find anything that looked familiar, while Angel was plotting his revenge. He'd tell her the truth, except for some stragetic changes. Her mind was like a blank canvas, and he would paint a whole new past for her. She would be his masterpiece.

Willow walked next to Angel, but concentrated on her surroundings. It was so frustrating to not be able to remember anything. She was scared to death to be with the stranger, but she was even more afraid of being alone.

When they got to his apartment, Angel opened the door and waited for Willow to enter. Willow just stood in the doorway, staring at the floor.

"Did you remember something?" Angel asked.

"No. It's just that........"

"You're not sure you can trust me. Right?"

Willow nodded. She felt guilty for doubting him, when he'd been nothing but nice to her.

"Willow, look at me." Willow looked up into Angel's eyes.

"It's okay. I understand how you must be feeling. I'm a stranger to you, even though I know you so well."

"How well do we know each other?" Willow asked softly.

Angel watched Willow's expressive face. She didn't trust him, but she wanted to. He knew that she desperately needed someone to hold on to. And he knew he was going to be that person.

"We're not lovers, if that's what you're asking. Not yet anyway."

Willow stepped back, suddenly nervous around him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Willow. We've been taking our relationship slowly because we were both hurt in our previous relationships. Look, there's a lot to talk about, but I'd rather not do it standing in the hallway."

Willow knew she didn't have much choice. If she was going to find out about her past, she'd have to trust Angel. She just prayed she wasn't making a mistake.

Angel smiled as Willow entered his apartment. So far, his act had been convincing, and he'd have to be careful to make sure it continued to be. He would give her no reason to doubt or fear him. Then when she inevitably faced Buffy and the others, Willow's loyalty would be to him......not them. He couldn't wait!

End Part 1

Willow looked around the apartment, while Angel sat on the bed. "Have I been here before?"

Angel contemplated how to answer her. He decided the best thing to do was stick as close to the truth as possible. "No, we usually met at your house."

Willow nodded, but the mention of her house brought a new question to her mind. "Won't my parents be worried about me?"

"Probably not." Angel said.

Willow turned to look at him. "Why not? I mean, it's late, won't they wonder why I'm not home?"

"Willow, your parents aren't exactly the most attentive people in the world. They don't notice if you're around or not around. Besides, they're gone on business.....again."

Willow's head dropped. No wonder she felt so alone. It was hard learning that your parents don't give a damn about you. She felt Angel's hands on her shoulders, but kept her gaze down. She didn't want to see pity in his eyes.

"Your parents are fools, Willow. Don't waste your tears on them." Angel said as he began massaging her shoulders.

"What about friends? Do I have friends who'd be worried about me?"

"You have me, Willow." Angel said.

"I meant besides you." Willow still wasn't sure what to make of Angel, but she had so many questions floating around in her head, and she needed answers.

"That's a difficult question to answer." Angel said as he turned and went back to the bed.

"How can that be difficult? Either I have friends or I don't."

"It's hard because I don't want to see you hurt by them anymore." Angel said angrily.

Willow watched Angel and was touched by his concern. He was angry because her friends had hurt her. But how? What did they do?

"Angel, I need to know what happened. If you don't want to answer my questions, tell me who I should ask. Please.....I need to know about my past."

"Alright, but let's start at the beginning. Things will make more sense that way. And there are certain things you need to know about me."

Willow sat down next to him, and he began telling her about her past. He started with when he'd first come to Sunnydale. Then he eased into telling her about vampires and the Slayer. Willow was a little skeptical, but once Angel showed her his demon face, she believed him. He had been worried that he'd scare her, but she took everything he said in stride. Angel told her about Buffy, Xander, and the others. As he watched Willow, he saw her concentrating on processing the things he told her. And so far, everything had been the truth.

"So, if they're my best friends, how did they hurt me?" Willow asked.

"Up until a few months ago, everything was fine. I was in love with Buffy, and you were with Oz. Then things started happening, and Buffy and the others believed I was behind it."

"What kind of things?"

"Someone started harassing Buffy, killed your fish, sending sick letters. Then someone killed Ms. Calander, your computer teacher. Giles immediately thought it was me, and Buffy believed him. She wouldn't listen to a word I had to say, but she immediately turned against me. You were the only one who believed me. And believing in me ended up costing you everything."

Angel stood and faced away from Willow.

"Cost me what?"

"Oz didn't want you anywhere near me. He tried telling you to stay away from me, but you refused to turn your back on me. Then the others demanded the same thing. When you refused, they ended up turning their backs on you. They are convinced that I'm evil, and have been trying to destroy me. In fact, you're the only one who knows I'm still here. Buffy thinks I'm dead."

"So my boyfriend dumped me, and my friends deserted me because I believed in your innocence. Why wouldn't they listen to your side of the story?"

"Because I'm a vampire, Willow. A demon. That's all they need to know. I expected as much from Giles and Xander.....they never hid the fact that they didn't trust me, but Buffy.....I thought she loved me. It hurt me deeply when she didn't believe me."

"And they think you're dead now? Did I know you were alive? Before tonight I mean."

"Buffy thinks she killed me, and I let her think that. I've been in Sunnydale the entire time, watching you....making sure you were safe. But, I let you think I was dead, too." Angel answered.

"Why? If we were friends, why would you let me think you were dead?"

"Because I had fallen in love with you, and I wanted you to have a normal life. With me out of the picture, I hoped you would be able to repair your friendships. It was for the best."

"Best for who?"

"You. I'm a demon Willow, and I've done nothing but ruin your life. If you hadn't been hurt tonight, you'd still not know I was here. Buffy won't be happy when she finds out. She'll try to make me dead for real."

"Then we make sure she doesn't find out. Angel, I don't want you to walk away from me. I'm scared, and I need you." Willow whispered.

Angel walked over and took Willow in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere. You were there when I needed you, and I'm going to be here for you. There's something else you should know."

"What?"

"Buffy and Oz have been seeing each other. You just found that out tonight, when you saw them together. They never bothered to tell you about it themselves."

Willow leaned heavily against Angel. She had learned so much that it was making her head spin. The headache threatened to knock her out. And although she still couldn't remember anything, Willow felt safe in Angel's arms.

"I better get you home. You look about ready to pass out." Angel said.

"I can't. I'm not ready to go back there. What if someone calls or comes by? I wouldn't know what to say." Willow said frantically. The thought of being alone or of having to face someone she didn't remember, scared her to death.

"You can stay here if you want. I just thought maybe you'd like some time away from me." Angel said.

"No, I want to stay here. And tomorrow, maybe you could tell me some more?"

"Okay. If you're up to dealing with it. But right now you need some sleep."

Willow went into the bathroom to get cleaned up, while Angel found her a t-shirt to wear. When Willow got into bed, Angel pulled the covers up over her and stroked her hair. He stood up to leave, when Willow grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep, please."

Angel nodded, and sat back down. Willow held his hand tightly, and finally drifted into sleep. Angel watched her, and smiled. Everything was turning out perfectly. Tomorrow he'd put the doubts about Buffy and Xander into her mind. She looked so innocent that Angel experienced a moment of guilt for how he was using her. But he shook it away. Buffy and her friends had destroyed his life, and they had to pay for that. {But does that have to include Willow?} Angel decided he may have to reconsider Willow's role in all this. Did she deserve the same as the others? Did she deserve any punishment? Had she done anything to him but try to be his friend? He'd have to think seriously about that. Angel pulled a chair next to the bed and watched Willow sleep. Then he closed his eyes and began reliving the past two years.

End Part 2

Angel's mind ran through the events of the past few years. His life had been so easy before he met the Slayer......before he fell in love with her. He'd spent 100 years brooding and feeling sorry for himself, then he'd found Buffy. She had shown him a whole different world. Buffy had gotten him to lower his defenses, and made him love her. Then she'd destroyed him. Angel knew it wasn't her fault that he had become Angelus. He hadn't even known about the stipulation to the curse. But, he did blame her for sending him to Hell. Buffy knew he had his soul back, and she still plunged the sword through him, without so much as a warning. She hadn't been able to kill him when he was Angelus, but she did it when he got his soul back. Damnit, there had been other alternatives. And then she'd gone on with her life, as though he never existed. It hadn't taken her long to start dating. {How could I have been so stupid. She never really loved me, she was using me.}

Giles had tolerated him only because of the information he could provide. Giles was never comfortable with the idea of his Slayer involved with a vampire. Angelus had made Giles suffer when he killed the computer teacher. Angel knew the pain of losing someone you loved.

Xander had always disliked Angel, and had never trusted him. No matter how many times Angel had helped them, and saved Xander's miserable life, the boy had always been a pain in the ass. Angel knew that part of it was jealousy. It seemed Buffy had every guy in the area under her spell. She'd fooled him, and Xander, and probably Giles. Now she was after Oz. Angel had only met Oz a few times, but he almost felt sorry for him. He'd thrown away his relationship with Willow, for a chance with Buffy.

Well, they would all pay. He had spent what seemed like an eternity in Hell because of them, and he wouldn't forgive that. Their suffering wouldn't compare to his, but they would suffer. Angel had allowed himself to care for these people, and they had betrayed him. Angel knew that Willow was what kept the group together, even if they were too stupid to realize it. Take Willow away from them, and they would self-destruct.

Angel had originally intended to kill them, just as Angelus had planned. But, even though Angel was pissed and wanted them to pay, he quickly realized that killing them wasn't an option. His soul and conscience prevented him from actually hurting or killing them. However, Angel refused to be their doormat again. They would learn that messing with Angel was just as dangerous as messing with Angelus. Angel would no longer forgive and forget. He had Willow, and he had the power.

Willow. When Angel had returned from Hell, he wanted to make everyone pay, including Willow. But, now that he'd had a chance to think about, he realized that Willow had been the one person to accept him for what he was. She had never treated him differently, and had stuck up for him repeatedly. Angel even suspected that she was the one behind giving him back his soul. He knew no one else would've bothered. Willow was an integral part of his plan, but he wouldn't hurt her. Angel still planned to fill in her memory so that she turned against her friends, but he would be there for her. He would become her protector.

Angel figured that by now Buffy and the others had realized that Willow hadn't made it home. They had no way of knowing that Willow had seen Buffy and Oz liplocked in the hallway. And they didn't have a clue that he was alive. Once Buffy realized Willow was missing, they would begin searching. {Let them worry about what happened to her. And wonder who took her.} Sooner or later, Xander would blame Buffy for not protecting Willow. And without Willow to act as a buffer, they would begin turning against each other. {Things will only get worse once Willow returns. She will return not wanting anything to do with them.} Angel knew they would try to convince her that he was lying, but she'd be loyal to him. {Just as she's always been.} That thought shocked Angel, but he admitted it was true. Willow had always been a loyal friend to him.

Angel focused his gaze on Willow's sleeping face. Why had he never realized how attractive she was? She was worth a hundred Buffys. Angel leaned forward and stroked her hair. Having her around was certainly going to be interesting.

End Part 3

Willow jerked awake, and looked around the room. She was confused and disoriented. The first thing Willow saw was Angel sleeping in a chair next to the bed. Willow sat up in bed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Are you okay?"

Willow looked up to find Angel watching her. "I'm just confused. My dreams last night didn't make sense to me. I don't even know if they were dreams or memories."

"Tell me about them."

"I can't remember much, but I do remember a blonde girl. And I think I was angry at her for something. I kept feeling that she had hurt me somehow."

Angel watched as Willow buried her head in her hands, and smiled. He moved to sit behind Willow on the bed, and began massaging her shoulders. Angel decided not to say anything unless Willow asked him. Willow leaned back into his hands and felt some of the tension leave her shoulders.

"Angel, do you know who the girl in my dream was?"

"I assume it's Buffy. She's the only blonde girl you hang out with."

Buffy. That was the girl who was supposed to be her best friend. {The one who was secretly dating my ex-boyfriend.} No wonder the dream was full of pain.

"So, Buffy is dating my ex and neither one of them bothered to tell me about it. Do my other friends know about Buffy and Oz dating?"

"Yes. I'm sure they think they're protecting you." Angel said.

"By lying to me? No, I can't accept that. They should've told me the truth. How long have we all been friends?"

"You met Buffy and Giles about two years ago. Xander and Cordelia you've known your whole life. Xander's been your best friend since you were little, but Cordelia was the girl who always made fun of you. That is until she and Xander started dating."

Willow's eyes widened at that. She remembered another fragment of her dream. She walked into a room and saw a dark haired boy and a dark haired girl kissing and groping each other. Willow had gasped and run away from the hurt she'd felt. That must've been Xander and Cordelia.

"I remember seeing them kissing. I felt as though my best friend had betrayed me in some way."

"Probably because they had lied to you about that to. Lately, the only way you have found out what's happening is when you walk in on it. None of them have told you the truth for a long time."

Willow felt weak and didn't resist as Angel pulled her back against him. She needed his strength. Angel wrapped his arms around Willow's waist, and held her tightly against him.

"I'm sorry they've hurt you so badly Willow. They are supposed to be your closest friends, but their concerns have always been selfish. Being with me only made them hurt you more."

Willow thought about that. She'd still had doubts about the things Angel had told her. After all, he could tell her anything and she wouldn't know if it was the truth or not. But after the dreams she'd had, Willow knew that Angel was telling her the truth. A part of her knew that her friends had hurt her.....and lied to her repeatedly.

"Don't blame yourself for their actions, Angel. After the way they behaved, they have no right to tell me who I can see. Besides, everyone is always so damned concerned about Buffy, they don't waste much time on others. The whole world seems to revolve around Buffy."

Angel was pleasantly surprised at the bitterness in Willow's voice. Her subconscious must've felt that way and Willow had always pushed those feelings aside.

"Did you just remember that?" Angel was a little worried that her memory would come back completely, and ruin his plans. He would have to come up with a backup plan in case that happened.

Willow looked at him confused, then seemed to remember what she had said. "It's not something I remembered, just kind of a feeling I have. The feeling that Buffy is always the one who comes first. It's true, isn't it?"

"I guess I never looked at it that way before. But, yes, it's true. Giles and the others consider Buffy the most important person in the group. I was probably guilty of the same thing, but I know the truth now."

Willow turned in Angel's arms to face him. "What truth?"

"That *you* are the most important person in that group. You hold them together, but they're too blind to see it. Giles is blinded by his duty and affection for his Slayer; Xander has always been in love with Buffy; Cordelia likes trying to one-up Buffy; and now Oz has fallen under her spell as well."

"And what about you? Are you still under her spell?"

Angel looked into Willow's eyes, and reached up to caress her cheek. "No, having her try to kill me kind of woke me up. Since then I've been able to see things more clearly and I don't like the way I was with her. She'd tell me to jump, and I'd ask how high. I was definately Buffy-whipped. Willing to do whatever she wanted me to do, and feeling miserable whenever she wasn't with me. But with you, it's different."

"How?"

"You've never tried to change me. You are the only person who ever treated me like a friend. And you are the only person that I would die for."

Angel leaned forward and captured Willow's lips in a gentle kiss. Both were surprised by the intensity of that meeting. Willow wrapped her arms around Angel's neck and deepened the kiss. Angel pulled away, and looked into Willow's eyes. In her eyes, he saw total trust. Angel smiled and kissed the tip of Willow's nose, then pulled her against his chest.

"I want you to remember that no matter what happens, I'm here for you, Willow. And if you decide to never see me again, I'll understand."

"What are you talking about?"

"Buffy and the others will try to turn you against me, and I know they can be convincing. I just want you to know that I'll understand. And I'll always protect you, even if you don't know I'm there."

"I won't let them turn me against you, Angel."

Angel covered Willow's mouth and shook his head. "Don't make promises you can't keep. Just remember what I've told you."

Willow held tightly to Angel's body. She knew that she'd have to face other people but she wasn't looking forward to it. She would've liked to have Angel with her when she did, but not if it would put him in danger.

"As soon as night falls, I'll walk you home. They're probably worried about you by now." Angel said.

Willow sat up and shook her head. "I should go now. I don't want you in danger. What if Buffy or one of the others saw you?"

Angel watched Willow stand and get ready to leave. A part of him wanted to grab her and keep her with him. Developing feelings for Willow had not been part of his plan. But, Angel realized that if he wanted Buffy and the others to pay, Willow would have to face them. {And what happens if they turn her against me?} Angel refused to allow himself to think about that.

Angel walked over to Willow and pulled her into his arms. "Be careful, Willow. You've been through a lot the past few days."

"I'll be fine. And I'll come by to see you after I've seen them."

Angel nodded and watched Willow walk out of the apartment. He wanted to be with Willow when she confronted the others. Partly to watch them as they realized that Willow wasn't their little follower anymore, but also to be there for Willow. But Angel had been telling the truth.....Buffy would probably try to kill him again if she saw him. Angel was worried about Willow though. She was still in a vulnerable frame of mind, and they could use that against her. As Angel laid back on the bed, he tried to ignore his conscience, which was telling him that was exactly what he was doing.

End Part 4

Willow was sitting in her room looking through photo albums. From the fragments of her dreams, she was able to pick out which ones were Buffy, Xander, Cordelia, Giles, and Oz. She hadn't decided yet if she was going to let them know right away that her memory was gone. {Maybe I'll just fake it until I find out how to handle them.} The sound of the doorbell broke into her thoughts. Putting the albums away, Willow went downstairs. She looked through the peephole. It was Buffy and Xander. Taking a deep breath, Willow opened the door.

"Willow! Thank God, where have you been?" Buffy said as she and Xander walked in without waiting for an invitation.

"Just come right in." Willow said sarcastically.

The comment went right over their heads. Willow watched as they walked in and made themselves comfortable on the couch. Willow shook her head, and walked over to sit in a chair.

"Now are you going to tell us where you were? We were worried about you."

"Really? And how long was it before you even realized I was missing?" Willow asked.

"What's that supposed to mean? Willow, are you feeling alright?" Xander asked.

"I'm fine. I was with a friend."

"What friend? We've all been looking for you." Buffy said.

"I do have other friends, you know. And I'm surprised you had time to look for me, Buffy. I would've thought you had your hands full. What with school, training, Oz, and slaying."

"Of course I looked...." Buffy's sentence ended as she realized what Willow had said.

Willow saw Buffy and Xander exchange a look, and watched Xander shrug. {Angel was right. Xander knew all about Buffy and Oz.}

"What did you say about Oz?" Buffy asked.

"Don't play innocent, Buffy. I saw you two together the night I left the library. How long have you two been lying to me?" Willow wanted to know.

"Oh, Willow, we didn't want you to find out this way. We were trying to protect you." Buffy said.

"By lying to me? And you knew about this and never said a word. I'm supposed to be your best friend!" Willow yelled at Xander.

"You are my best friend. None of us wanted to hurt you." Xander said.

"Well, guess what? That's exactly what you did. Get out of here."

"Not until we talk about this, Will. You're upset, and I understand that. What I don't understand is how you could just disappear for days at a time and not tell us. We thought you'd been taken by vampires." Buffy said.

"I don't have to report my comings and goings to you. And as for vampires, who'd want to take me? You killed Angel, remember?"

Willow watched as Buffy's eyes widened. "Willow, you know I didn't have any choice when I did that. I loved him but he had to be destroyed."

"You killed him for something that he wasn't responsible for! And as for loving him, I don't think so. If you loved him, you wouldn't have been able to move onto Oz so quickly."

"What's gotten into you? Why are you acting like this? Don't you think Buffy's suffered enough without you coming down on her?" Xander asked.

"Geez, I'm sorry if I'm not Miss Congeniality when I found out that my best friends have lied to me. You don't even know me or the things that I've been through the past few days. But you don't care either, do you? The only thing that matters to you is poor Buffy."

Xander was about to say something, but Buffy interrupted him. "I'm so sorry if we don't make you the center of our world, Willow. And I'm sorry that you're so jealous of me that you have to lash out at your friends. But, when you're ready to act like an adult, then we'll talk."

Buffy headed towards the door. "Buffy, I'm not the one who needs to be the center of attention." Willow responded.

"Xander, let's go. Let Willow wallow in self-pity for awhile."

Buffy left the house, and Xander followed her. "Will, you know where we'll be when you're ready to talk."

Willow watched her friends leave, and then dropped back into the chair. How dare they try to turn this around on her! They were the ones who had lied to her, and gone behind her back. Angel had been right about everything.

Willow's tears began falling as she thought about the things that had been said. She was glad she couldn't remember her friendship with Buffy and Xander......it would only make this whole thing hurt more. Deciding she needed to get out of the house, Willow grabbed her bag and ran to the only person she could trust.

End Part 5

Angel heard the pounding on the door, and pulled on his jeans. Opening the door caustiously, he saw Willow standing there. Tears were running down her face. He reached out and pulled the girl into his arms.

"Willow, what happened?"

"You were right, Angel. They tried to turn it around and make me feel like the bad guy."

"I'm sorry, Willow. How did they react when they realized you didn't have an memory of them?"

"They don't know." Willow said softly.

"What? How can they not know?"

"I faked it through most of the conversation. We only got as far as Buffy's relationship with Oz, and them lying to me. I let the anger I'd felt during my dreams take over. They never realized that I have amnesia."

Angel tightened his hold on Willow's shaking form. {How could they be so blind to the fact that Willow had no memory? Were they really that self-involved?}

"And I never told them about you. I just told them that I had stayed with a friend. Of course, they seemed shocked that I actually have other friends." Willow said.

"Willow, I'm sorry you had to face them alone. I won't let you go through that again. The next time you want to talk to them, I'm going with you."

Willow pulled back and looked into Angel's face. "You can't. If they find out you're alive, Buffy will try to kill you again."

"I don't care. I won't stand by and watch them hurt you again. I'm a big boy, Willow, I can take care of myself. But there is something you need to be prepared for."

"What's that?"

"That once they see us together, they're going to do whatever they can to tear us apart. They won't want you anywhere near me."

"They can try, but it won't work. I trust you, Angel."

Willow reached up and kissed Angel. Her arms wound around his neck, as he brought her closer. Angel gathered Willow tightly in his arms.

"Are you sure about this, Willow?"

"I'm sure." Willow answered with a smile.

Angel lifted Willow into his arms, and carried her into his bedroom. Angel laid Willow on the bed, then covered her. Willow's hands roamed over his naked chest. Angel's hands quickly removed the barriers of their clothing, and he showed Willow what an excellent lover he was.

After spending most of the night making love, Angel laid in bed with Willow wrapped in his arms. He couldn't believe the pleasure he'd found with Willow. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Looking down into her face, he knew he had to be honest with her. Angel still wanted to make Buffy and the others pay, but he wouldn't do it by hurting Willow. But he had to make sure Willow understood why he'd done what he did. Angel knew he wouldn't let her go now. Willow belonged to him.

Willow woke to find Angel watching her. She smiled at him, and caressed his cheek. Angel gripped her hand in his, and kissed her fingertips. Willow could tell from the look on his face, that something was wrong.

"Angel, do you regret what we did last night?"

Angel pulled Willow under him, and framed her face with his hands. "No, don't even think that. Last night meant the world to me, and I don't want to lose you."

"Where am I going?"

Angel sat on the edge of the bed with his back to Willow. She scooted up to lean against the headboard.

"I haven't told you the whole truth about my life here in Sunnydale. There are some things you need to know before we go face the others. And I'm afraid that once you learn the truth, you'll leave me."

Willow said nothing as Angel began filling in the missing pieces. He told her all about Angelus and the horror he had inflicted. Angel didn't turn around during his narration, not wanting to see the emotions on Willow's face. However, Angel couldn't bring himself to tell her that he had intended to use her to get revenge. He kind of figured she already knew.

"Is that everything?" Willow asked.

"Yes."

Willow thought about the things Angel had said, but it didn't change how she felt about him. The things Angelus had done were evil, but they weren't Angel's fault. Actually, Angel hadn't lied to her. He hadn't been responsible for the things that had happened, but Buffy and the others blamed him anyway. Willow moved to sit next to him on the bed.

"But, you have your soul now, right? You haven't killed anyone since you came back?" Willow asked.

"Yes, I have my soul back, and no I haven't killed anyone. But that doesn't mean that I don't wish I could. I would like nothing better then to kill Buffy and Xander for the way they treated me."

"But you won't do it." Willow said with certainty.

Angel turned to look at Willow. "How can you be so sure? You don't even remember me. I've lied to you just like the others did. I lied to you about my past, and about the kind of relationship we had."

"I may not remember you, but I do trust you. You've done nothing but try to protect me since you found me. Even though you were doing it for your own reasons. As for our relationship, I think that's kind of a mute point right now. I just have one question, then we can put this behind us."

"What?" Angel asked.

"Did you sleep with me as part of your plan to get back at Buffy?"

"No. Making love to you had never been my intention. But, I can't apologize for it, either." Angel responded.

"Good. Now that we have that out of the way, do you still want to come with me when I go to see them?"

Angel couldn't believe that Willow was forgiving him. It was more then he deserved.......she was more then he deserved. Angel pulled Willow into his arms.

"Are you sure you still want me there?"

Willow nodded.

"Then that's where I'll be. I won't promise to be on my best behavior though."

Willow leaned her head against Angel's chest and let his hands stroke her back.

"It's not going to be pretty, is it?" Willow asked.

"No, it's not going to be pretty. I'm sorry Willow. I should never have involved you in my revenge."

Willow put her hand over Angel's mouth to silence him. "That's past. We're only going to concentrate on the future."

Angel laid Willow down on the bed, and pulled her back against him. Wrapping his arms around her, Angel kissed her head.

"Let's get some sleep. Tomorrow will come soon enough."

Angel knew when Willow drifted off to sleep. Soon, Buffy and the others would learn he was alive. That would come as quite a shock to all of them. He couldn't wait to see Buffy's face when she saw him. Angel tightened his hold on Willow, pressing more securely against her. But he wasn't about to let Buffy or anyone hurt Willow more then they already had.

He'd already taken Willow away from them.......they just didn't realize it yet. But when they did, they would finally realize what they'd taken for granted for so many years.

End Part 6

Angel and Willow stood outside the library doors. They knew that Giles, Buffy, and Xander were inside. Oz had gone out of town for a few days so they wouldn't have to confront him. Angel turned to Willow, and saw that her face was deathly pale. He reached out and caressed her cheek.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? We don't have to do this now."

"I'll be fine. I just want to get this over with."

Angel nodded, and then began to open the door. Willow reached out to stop him. "Let me go in alone first."

"No way. I told you we're in this together." Angel said.

"I know, but just give me some time alone with them. You can listen and come in when you think its a good time. I'm just asking for a couple minutes. Please."

Angel didn't like it, but he backed away from the door. As soon as Willow entered the library, Angel planted himself right outside the door. He was ready to storm in on a second's notice.

Willow saw the others look up as she entered. Buffy and Xander said nothing, and Giles just nodded his head.

"I hope you're in a better mood then you were before." Buffy said.

"I am. But did you ever stop to wonder why I was in a bad mood before? Did you even care?" Willow asked.

"I'm hearing attitude, Willow. We don't need your sarcastic remarks right now." Xander said.

Willow shook her head, unable to believe how selfish these people were. {And these were my best friends? How did I put up with them?}

"Well, I'm really sorry. Getting attacked and waking up with no memory of who the hell I am, kind of makes me cranky."

"We all have bad......what did you say?" Buffy asked.

"I think you heard me." Willow responded.

"You were attacked? When did that happen?" Giles asked.

"A few days ago."

Xander walked over to Willow and looked her in the eyes. "If you don't have any memory, how did you know who we were? How did you know about Buffy and Oz?"

"A friend told me everything. Plus I've had some dreams with you guys in them." Willow responded.

"A friend? You mentioned that you were staying with a friend before. Same friend?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. He found me after I was attacked. He's been there for me when no one else was." Willow said.

Buffy and Xander exchanged guilty glances. Both knew that they hadn't been spending time with Willow. And when they did, it usually ended up with her doing something for them.

"What friend, Willow?" Giles asked.

Willow looked between the three people. "You can come in now. They want to meet you."

"Who are you talking to, Willow?" Xander asked.

Just then the library door opened and a figure walked in. Buffy gasped as she saw Angel stand beside Willow. Quickly, Buffy grabbed a stake, but Willow moved in front of Angel.

"Don't even think about it, Buffy. You've hurt Angel enough. Leave him alone."

"Willow, get away from him! You don't know what he's done."

"I know what Angelus did. Angel hasn't done anything. Now put the stake down!" Willow demanded.

Buffy lowered the stake, but didn't put it down. She looked suspiciously at Angel, who stood with his arms crossed. He hadn't said a word since entering the library.

"How do you know about Angelus?" Buffy asked.

"Angel told me. Just like he's told me about everything else. Angel has his soul, so you don't have to try to kill him.....again." Willow stated.

"Willow, I don't know what dead-boy here has been telling you, but he's lying. Move away from him and let Buffy do her job." Xander said.

"Lying? Angel wasn't lying about Buffy and Oz, was he? Was he lying about becoming Angelus, tormenting all of us, killing Jenny, then regaining his soul, and having Buffy send him to Hell? Were those all lies, Xander?" Willow asked.

"No, but......" Xander began.

"Then what did he lie about? It seems to me that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Willow said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked.

"You're accusing Angel of lying to me, but what about the lies you've told me? Don't try to condemn him for a crime you've committed too."

"We were trying to protect you, Willow. Angel is using you to get to us, can't you see that? He's lying about having his soul, it's not possible." Buffy said.

"You know I'm telling the truth, Buffy. You knew it before you plunged that damn sword into me." Angel said.

"It was a trick, you were trying to confuse me." Buffy said.

"Buffy, are you telling me the Restoration Spell worked? Why didn't you see fit to mention that before?" Giles asked.

"Because it didn't. Angel is dead!" Buffy shouted.

"I almost was, but I got sent back. Angelus is dead and gone.....but I'm not."

"NO!! It's a trick, I won't fall for you tricks, Angelus." Buffy yelled.

"If he was really Angelus, he would've killed me when he first found me. I was helpless and unable to defend myself. Then he would've killed all of you before you even knew he was back. The fact that I'm alive proves that he's Angel." Willow defended.

Giles looked from his distraught Slayer to the hacker. She was pale, and leaning against Angel. The fact that she trusted the vampire was evident. Giles couldn't forget the things Angelus had done, but he couldn't forget the help Angel had given them, either. Walking over to Willow, Giles touched her shoulder.

"Are you alright, Willow?"

"I'm fine, Giles. Angel has taken good care of me."

Giles looked at the vampire, and searched his eyes. And although he could see anger, there wasn't hatred......and his eyes weren't that of a killer. Giles knew then that it was Angel standing in front of him. The evil that had killed Jenny was gone.

"What do you plan to do now, Angel?" Giles asked.

"Giles, you don't honestly believe him!?" Xander asked in disbelief.

"I trust Willow's instincts, and I trust my own observations. This is not Angelus." Giles said.

Giles turned to go into his office. Buffy and Xander needed time to come to terms with this latest development. And he'd be close enough if he was needed.

Xander walked over to Willow. "Willow, come on, I'm taking you home. I don't want you anywhere near dead-boy."

"Don't tell me what to do, Xander. Right now, you're more of a stranger to me then Angel is. I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I don't believe this. You lose your memory, yet you're willing to believe anything *he* tells you. But, you won't let me take you home because you don't remember me."

"Xander, just leave it alone." Buffy said.

"You all are a couple cans short of a six-pack. Just remember I'm the one who warned you about dead-boy." Xander said as he left the library in a huff.

Angel watched Buffy inching closer to him. Willow still stood in front of him, leaning slightly against him.

"It's really you?" Buffy asked.

"Surprise honey, I'm home." Angel responded sarcastically.

Willow elbowed him, but Angel ignored it. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Time for Buffy to learn that he wasn't the lovesick fool he'd been before.

"I can't believe you're really here. I thought I'd never see you again." Buffy said.

Willow held out her hand for the stake. Buffy handed it to her, never taking her eyes off of Angel. Willow moved to sit down at the table. She knew that Angel needed to confront Buffy. As Willow watched the couple eyeing each other, she couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. Angel had been totally honest about his relationship with Buffy. {Does he want another chance with her? Am I going to lose him?} Now Willow had to watch as the ex-lovers faced each other.

End Part 7

Angel watched Willow walk away from him, and wanted to pull her back to his side. But he knew it would be better if she were out of the line of fire. Buffy was still staring at him, and it was beginning to annoy him.

"Staring at me isn't going to make me go away." Angel said.

Buffy reached out to touch his cheek, but Angel stepped back. He wanted to make it clear to Buffy that he didn't want anything to do with her. Let her know that he didn't welcome her touch.

"Angel......I can't believe its really you. I've missed you so much."

"Really? You certainly have a funny way of showing it. Does the name Oz ring a bell?"

"Oz is a friend. He's just been trying to help me deal with losing you." Buffy said.

"Well good, then he can continue to 'help' you get over me." Angel said.

"But, you're back now, and we can be together. It can be like it was before."

"You mean like the past few months never happened? You know that's not possible, Buffy. Too much has happened.....for both of us."

"We can find a way to deal with it, Angel. We love each other."

Angel looked closely at the woman he'd been in love with for years, and he felt nothing. Between his years in Hell, and the time he'd spent with Willow, whatever feelings he'd had for Buffy were gone.

"No we don't, Buffy. If you had loved me, you wouldn't have been able to run me through, especially when you knew that I had my soul back."

"I thought it was a trick! You have to understand that."

"Your heart should've told you that it was me. Our relationship ended that day."

"Angel, you love me. I know you do." Buffy said.

"I did love you, Buffy, but not anymore. When I first came back, my only desire was to see you hurt for what you'd done to me. To make you pay for sending me to Hell. But, Willow's made me see that I have to let go of my anger at you. I won't be able to face my future until I let go of the past."

"And just what kind of relationship do you have with Willow?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"That isn't any business of yours. What you do with your life no longer concerns me, and vice versa. From now on, you and I go our seperate ways."

"Angel, please. We need to go someplace and talk.....privately."

"We've done all the talking we're going to do, Buffy. I refuse to follow you around like a puppy anymore. Willow, are you ready to go?"

Angel turned and waited by the library doors. He watched as Willow walked past Buffy. Buffy reached out and grabbed ahold of Willow's arm. Angel began moving toward them, but Willow shook her head, then turned to Buffy.

"What have you been telling him? Why are you trying to take him away from me?"

Willow couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was the one who'd lost her memory, but Buffy was accusing her of trying to take Angel away.

"I haven't been telling him anything, Buffy. What could I possibly tell him? I don't remember anything."

"Kind of convenient, don't you think? I think you're pretending to have amnesia to get Angel's sympathy, and turn him against me. You've wanted him all along, haven't you?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not having this asinine conversation with you. We may have been friends before, but I don't think we will be anymore. So far I haven't liked what I've seen. Goodbye, Buffy."

Willow pulled her arm away from Buffy and walked to Angel. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and they walked out of the library. Neither one of them looked back when Buffy yelled, "Angel! Don't leave me!!"

Giles saw Buffy sitting at the table. He shook his head sadly at the turn of events.

"I take it they've left."

"Yes." Buffy answered.

"Buffy, it's going to take time. Willow needs......."

"I don't give a damn about what Willow needs! She stole Angel from me. I don't care if I never see her again." Buffy yelled before storming out of the library.

Giles sat and rubbed his temples. As much as he cared for Buffy, she could certainly try his patience. She was being totally selfish, not even thinking about how hard all of this was on Willow. All Buffy could think about was Angel. The vampire she had sent to Hell.......the vampire who wanted nothing to do with her. Giles had to hope that eventually Buffy would think about her friend's well-being, and that Xander would swallow his pride and help his friend. Until then, Giles had to trust that Angel would continue to watch out for Willow.

End Part 8

Angel sat in the chair, and leaned his head against the back. He had expected his revenge to be more fulfilling. His plan had worked out perfectly. Buffy was suffering.....knowing that he was back, and didn't want anything to do with her. Xander was suffering because he'd pushed away his best friend when she needed him most. {Then why doesn't it make me feel better?}

Angel looked up as Willow came out of the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel. He smiled at her, and she walked over and sat in his lap. Angel wrapped his arms around Willow, and pulled her tightly against him.

"What were you thinking about so seriously?" Willow asked.

"Wondering why revenge isn't sweeter." Angel replied honestly.

"Because deep down, you're a good guy. Anger drove you to do the things you did. Now you've let go of the anger, so your actions don't have the same meaning anymore. You have to let it all go, Angel. Put everything in the past."

"Sometimes I think you're the lucky one. You don't remember the evil I've done.....I can't forget it."

Willow wrapped her arms around Angel's neck, and kissed him passionately. "You'll never be able to forget, but you have to learn to forgive yourself. Concentrate on all the good things you've done."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm glad I've got you in my life."

"I owe you my life, Angel. You've been my rock through all of this."

"Is that all you feel for me? Gratitude?" Angel asked.

"I think you know the answer to that. I wouldn't have made love to you if I hadn't fallen in love with you. But, everything's happened so quickly, I think we need to take our relationship slowly. I need time to figure out my life. And I need to find out if any of my past relationships can be saved."

"I understand that, Willow. As long as I know you love me, I can wait as long as I have to. Having you in my life is enough for now."

"Thank you, Angel. For everything."

Willow stood and went to get dressed. Angel knew that he also had issues to deal with. He'd never allowed himself to think too much about his time in Hell. All of his focus had been on getting revenge. Angel would have to deal with the things Angelus had done.....the people he had hurt. And he'd have to finally face the horrors that he'd experienced in Hell. Willow wasn't the only one who needed time to heal.

They would both need time to deal with their pasts, then they could concentrate on their future. Eventually, they'd have to face Buffy and Xander, but that would have to wait until they were ready.

Angel walked Willow to her house. As they stood outside the front door, Angel pulled Willow into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, and leaned her head against his chest.

"I'm going to call my parents. Let them know what's happened."

"That's a good idea. Hopefully they'll cut their trip short and come home to help you deal with this." Angel said.

"Maybe." Willow said doubtfully.

"You know I'm always here for you. Anytime you need me."

"I know, but we both have things we need to deal with on our own."

Angel nodded, and held Willow tightly against him. When Willow pulled away, he didn't try to stop her. Angel leaned forward, and kissed Willow on the top of the head.

"I love you, Willow."

"I love you, too, Angel. See you soon."

Angel watched as Willow walked into the house. He knew it would be awhile before they saw each other again. But, they loved each other, and eventually they'd be together. Once the shadows of the past had been dealt with.

The past few months had caused scars.......for everyone. It was now time for the healing to begin.

THE END

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