Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to 'Blurred Memories'.
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Angel stood outside Willow's house, waiting for her to answer the door. He knew she was home, and he wasn't going anywhere until they talked. He needed answers, and she was the only one who had them.
"What are you doing here, Angel?"
Angel looked at Willow, and the memories that had haunted him surged forward. The memory of her in his arms was more vivid then ever.
"I told you on the phone, we need to talk."
Willow sighed deeply, but backed away from the door as she invited him in. Angel walked over and sat down on the couch. Willow sat down in the chair, facing Angel.
"Angel, why can't you just let this go? It doesn't concern you."
"Wrong. Whether I like it or not, Angelus is a part of me. Everything he does concerns me. I need to know what happened between us, Willow."
Willow stood and went to stare out the window. "Don't you think there might be a reason you don't remember this? Maybe you're not meant to know."
"Don't give me that, Willow. Some of my memories are just slower in returning. Sooner or later, I will remember everything. So just spare both of us the awkwardness of waiting, and tell me how you and I ended up together?"
Angel watched as Willow gripped her neck. "It's happening already, Angel. Don't you see that? Angelus may be a part of you, but he's not you. *You* and I have never been together. *You* have been with Buffy."
Angel knew he couldn't argue Willow's point, but it didn't matter. "Fine, then tell me how you and Angelus ended up together."
Willow was quiet for a moment, and Angel didn't think she was going to answer. "He caught me at the library one night. The others had all left, and I was there by myself. He was very cocky and arrogant, talking about how he was going to kill me and leave my body for Buffy to find."
"Typical Angelus."
Willow nodded. "Well, he underestimated me. I was scared to death, but I didn't want to die. So, I lashed out, hitting him with one of the books I was holding. It caught him by surprise and he let me go, then I ran. Needless to say, I didn't get far. Angelus was furious, but he didn't kill me. Said he was intrigued by the fact that I'd attacked him. He took me back to the mansion."
Angel stared at Willow's back. "Did he.....did he force you, Willow?"
"Nothing happened that night, Angel. We talked, that's all. Then in the morning, he let me leave."
"Why? That doesn't sound like something Angelus would do. He's not a big 'talker'." Angel said.
Willow shrugged. "I wasn't about to question anything that stopped him from breaking my neck. Besides, he didn't understand it himself. He said I made him feel things he didn't want to feel. And he didn't like it. So, for the next couple weeks, he kept his distance from me. He probably would've never come near me again, but I was attacked on the way home. Angelus saved me."
Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. The cold calculating, murdering Angelus had actually developed feelings for Willow? "And after that?"
"You don't need me drawing you pictures, Angel. You already said you have those memories. Angelus and I became lovers. And we continued to be lovers, until I betrayed him."
Angel's mind had been running through the things he'd learned, but Willow's words caught his attention. "You betrayed him.....how?"
"By doing the Restoration ritual, and giving you your soul back." Willow said.
"Did he know what you were doing?"
Willow nodded. "That's how I ended up in the hospital, after I failed to perform it the first time. Then he went after Buffy in retaliation. I'm sure he realized I'd done it again right before you came back."
"I don't understand this, Willow."
"I told you, Angel. Look, I'm not naive enough to believe that Angelus cared about me. I knew he was using me in some plan against Buffy, but he didn't suspect that I knew. To convince me that he cared about me, he had backed away from attacking Buffy and the others. I used that time to find the spell and try to perform it."
"So, you slept with Angelus to keep him occupied? To let him believe you were falling for his trap?"
Willow nodded. "When I realized what he was doing, I knew I had to play along. Buffy wasn't able to kill him, and it was our only hope."
Angel stood up and walked over to Willow, touching her lightly on the arm. "Did you ever have feelings for him?"
Willow didn't answer, but Angel saw the tears slide down her cheeks. And he knew that she had fallen in love with Angelus. Angel reached out and pulled Willow into his arms. She struggled briefly, but Angel refused to let go. Finally, she gave up and leaned against him.
Angel tightened his hold on her shuddering form, and he forced himself to face the emotions he'd been blocking for weeks. Whatever Angelus' motives had been, he had cared about Willow. Angel knew that whatever he was feeling now, was at least partly remembered emotions from Angelus.
"I think he did care, Willow. At least as much as he was capable of caring."
Willow pulled away and looked at him angrily. "And you think that's supposed to make me feel better? I betrayed him, Angel. I killed him!"
Angel grabbed Willow's shoulders, refusing to allow her to feel guilty. "Don't you dare regret what you did, Willow. Feelings or no feelings, Angelus would've gone through with his plans. Nothing stopped him once he set a goal. Eventually, he would've destroyed all of you."
"But you just said........."
Angel started massaging her shoulders. "I said that I think he did have feelings for you, but he wouldn't have let that stop him, Willow. If anything, it would've eventually made him strike out against you. Angelus wouldn't allow anything or anyone to have any influence over him. One of you had to die, there could be no other way."
Willow dissolved in tears, and Angel pulled her tightly against his body. He cursed Angelus for involving Willow in his games. She had been innocent, and he destroyed that.
They stood silently, until Willow finally pulled away. "I can't deal with this anymore, Angel. Please leave."
Angel saw the fatiuge on Willow's pale face and nodded. "I'll leave now, but we still have things to talk about."
"Like what? There's nothing left to talk about." Willow said tiredly.
Angel reached out to caress her cheek, then leaned forward and kissed her lips tenderly. "That's what we have to talk about."
Willow watched as Angel left the house, then sunk down onto the couch.
Angel thought about the past few weeks. After talking to Willow, his own memories eventually came back. And he knew for sure that while Angelus had been plotting, he had also developed real feelings for Willow. And as he suspected, Angelus had planned to remove the temptation.....permenantly.
They had given it a few days before Angel and Willow sat down and talked more. So much had happened to both of them, that they knew they weren't ready to explore the feelings they both had. Angel had refused to walk away, but Willow suggested that they take time to deal with everything that had happened.
It was just within the last few days that they had begun exploring what they felt. They had broken ties with Buffy and Oz after their initial meeting, knowing that it wasn't fair to either of them. No one knew of Willow's involvement with Angelus, so everyone was shocked when Angel and Willow began spending time together. But, they all seemed to sense a connection between the two.
They had a long way to go, and neither of them knew if their relationship would ever go beyond friendship. But they were going to take it one day at a time. Because they both needed to know that Angelus wasn't part of the relationship. He needed to be a part of the past.......for both of their sakes. Angel knew it would be hard, but he was willing to work on it. There was no doubt in his mind that the feelings he had for Willow were his own.
And there was no doubt in his mind, that sooner or later, he and Willow would be together. It was their destiny.
The End