Distribution: TPWFLD; otherwise, please ask.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.
{}indicate flashback
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Angel walked through the park until he came to the merry-go-round, and found the person he had been looking for. He saw the slight figure shaking with every tear that fell. Angel felt such anger well up inside, not just at that stupid boy, but also at Buffy. How could she hurt her best friend? At least Xander could blame his own ignorance, but Buffy knew Willow's feelings. <Willow doesn't deserve to be hurt like that!> Angel walked closer to the girl, uncertain whether he should invade on her privacy.
"I know you're there, Angel."
Willow turned to look at the vampire. She didn't bother to hide the tears. If anyone would know how she felt, it would be Angel. Especially since he had experienced the same rejection, just months ago.
"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Angel said as he sat down on the merry-go-round.
"You aren't. I'm just practicing some of the brooding skills I learned from a friend."
Angel was glad that she was at least able to attempt humor, but he knew she was hurting inside.
"Have you seen Buffy or Xander?"
At the mention of their names, Willow tensed.
"Not since......"
Willow didn't need to finish the sentence. <Not since Willow had found her two best friends making out in Xander's bedroom.>
"Listen, if you ever need to talk, you know I'm a pretty good listener."
"Thanks, Angel. I think I'm going to need a friend."
"You've got one. Let me walk you home."
Angel put his jacket around Willow's shoulders, and they headed for her home. As they walked past the Bronze, Willow stopped abruptly.
"What's....."
Angel looked to see
what had captured Willow's attention. There, standing outside the Bronze,
were Buffy and Xander. They were practically attached at the lips. Angel
steered Willow in the opposite direction.
Outside Willow's home, Angel watched the girl closely. <She's hurting so badly, but trying to block her emotions. She needs to let go in order to begin to heal.> Angel stepped closer and took Willow in his arms. The contact was more than Willow could handle, and she burst into tears. They stood there in the darkness, allowing their emotions free reign. After she was cried out, Willow thanked Angel, and turned to the door.
As Angel watched
Willow enter her house, he knew that she would have some difficult times
ahead of her. He had told her he would be there for her, and he would.
<After all, she was there for me when Buffy decided I wasn't the man
she wanted.>
Willow watched Angel leave. <Thank you my friend.> After she changed clothes, Willow sat down to the computer. But her thoughts kept drifting back to memories she wanted to forget.
{Willow had waited for Xander outside his house. She had finally gotten enough guts, with encouragement from Angel, to tell Xander how she felt.
"Hey, Will. What are you doing here?"
"I...uhm...I wanted to talk to you."
"Sure, about what?"
"About us."
"Us?"
"I need to tell you
how I feel about you. How I've always felt about
you."
"Willow, I already know. After all, we're best buds."
"No, you don't know. I had this whole speech worked out but I'm starting to lose my courage, so I think I have to just blurt it out."
"Willow, I don't think...."
"Xander, I love you!"
Xander had stared at her like she'd grown a second head.
"Willow, I never knew. Jeez, I don't know what to say. You're my best friend, and I wouldn't hurt you for the world, but...."
"But you don't feel the same way." Willow said sadly.
"Of course I love you.....like a sister."
"A sister. Ok, look, this was so not a good idea. I better go."
"Willow, wait."
But Willow had run. The look on Xander's face was one she would remember the rest of her life....it had been a look of pity.}
Then just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, she discovered how much the truth hurt.
{Xander hadn't been in school, and she'd been worried about him. And she wanted to apologize for putting him on the spot about his feelings. So after school, Willow had gone to his house. His parents were gone, so she let herself in (just like she'd done a million times before). But as she approached his room, the sounds of laughter grew louder. She had only opened the door slightly when her world collapsed. The site of Xander and Buffy lip-locked on his bed greeted her. They had their hands all over each other, and never saw Willow's stricken face. Willow had run from the house in tears. Later that night, she had run into Angel, and told him everything.}
The phone rang, which freed Willow from her memories.
"Hello."
"Willow?"
"Buffy, what do you want?"
"I just talked to Xander. He told me that you had been to see him."
"Really."
"Willow, why didn't tell me what you had planned?"
"I guess you're not the only ones good at keeping secrets."
"Willow,what...."
"I don't want to hear it. Just answer me one thing."
"What?" Buffy asked cautiously.
"How long? How long have my two best friends been screwing around behind my back!?"
"What do you mean?"
"Stop pretending. I saw you. I saw you with Xander."
"Willow, I'm sorry. It's not something we planned. It just happened."
"How long?"
"Two months."
Willow's mind began calculating. <Two months. The same time that Buffy broke Angel's heart.>
"So, that's why you broke up with Angel. You already had Xander on the side."
"Angel and I could never have made it, you know that."
"Yeah, I know alot of things. I know my best friend betrayed me with the man I loved!"
"It wasn't like that. You knew that his feelings weren't the same."
"Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Goodbye!"
Willow slammed the
phone down. <How dare she talk to me like that! The next thing she would've
said was that they had hidden their relationship to 'protect' me.>
The next few days, Willow managed to avoid Buffy and Xander. She had even kept her distance from the library when she knew they were there. Giles knew something was wrong, but chose not to interfere. Matters of the heart weren't his field of expertise. And each night Willow met Angel at the park. The merry-go-round had become their private meeting spot, and during their lengthy conversations they realized how much they had in common.
But, it was inevitable that eventually Willow would have to face Buffy and Xander. And it happened one afternoon in the library. Willow had thought Buffy and Xander were gone, so she had started doing some research for Giles.
"Willow, we need to talk." Buffy announced.
Willow tensed, and turned to see her friends.
"No, we don't."
Buffy walked over to the computer and turned it off.
"Yes, we do. You've been avoiding us for the past few days, and we need to talk about what happened." Xander said.
"Look Willow. You know that Xander and I would never do anything to hurt you, but we can't ignore our feelings either. You are my best friend, but the feelings I have for Xander are important to me also. You have to accept that."
"Will, you know Buffy's right. You and I will never be anything but friends. You've always known that."
"Stop it!!!"
Buffy and Xander both looked at Willow in surprise.
"Stop talking to me like I'm a child! You both betrayed me by keeping your relationship a secret. If you had come to me, and told me what was going one, it wouldn't have hurt so much. But no, I have to find out by seeing you two going at it on a bed! You lied to me, and that's what I can't forgive....or forget!"
Willow grabbed Angel's jacket, which he had insisted she keep, and stormed out of the library. A stunned Buffy and Xander watched in silence.
"Was that Angel's jacket?" Buffy asked.
"Willow's upset, and all you're worried about is Angel's jacket?" Xander asked.
"No, I was just wondering why she'd have his jacket. Doesn't that seem a little odd to you?"
"I guess, but right now I'm a little more concerned that our friend just ran out of here...alone...upset...at night."
"Oh, God, we better go find her. "
"Good idea." Xander replied sarcastically.
Buffy and Xander
left the library in search of Willow. Neither had ever see their friend
as hurt or angry as she'd been when she'd left. They both realized that
they should've been honest with Willow from the beginning, but at the time
it had just seemed easier to avoid the issue.
While Buffy and Xander searched Sunnydale, Willow went to the only person she could trust. Checking to make sure no one had followed her, Willow entered the building and knocked. Angel answered the door caustiously.
"Willow, are you okay?"
"I could use a friend." Willow whispered.
Angel stepped back and watched Willow enter the apartment. She was near tears, but he also saw anger burning in her eyes. Something had happened to upset her, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what....or more accurately---who.
"I'm assuming you saw Buffy and Xander."
Willow sat down on the couch. <It hurts so much! Why did they do this to me?>
Angel watched Willow put her head back on the couch as she nodded. He walked over and sat next to her.
"Want to tell me what happened?"
"They ambushed me in the library."
"Ambushed?"
"That's what it felt like. They both ganged up on me. Telling me why this shouldn't upset me. They were talking to me like I was an imbecile." Willow replied wearily.
"They were probably trying to justify their actions. What did you say?"
"I yelled at them. They don't realize that what really hurts me is that they both lied to me. My two closest friends have lied to me everyday for the past two months. I could deal with their relationship. A part of me always knew Xander and I would never be anything but friends. But they didn't trust me enough to come to me with the truth."
"What happens next?"
"I don't know. When I walked out of the library, it felt like something broke, but I don't know what."
"You're tired. A lot has happened the last few days, and you need time to come to terms with everything."
"I can't talk to them yet. But I'm sure they're staked out at my house."
"Why don't you stay here? I don't think they'll look for you here."
"I don't want to impose."
"Willow, that's what friends are for. Do you need to call your parents?"
"No, they're out of town. But I should call Giles, just so he knows I'm safe."
Willow went to the phone. Giles was relieved to know she was alright. Apparently Buffy and Xander were freaking out because they couldn't find her. <Good, let them worry a little bit.> Willow assured Giles that she was fine but refused to tell him her location. She only told him that she was safe and staying with a friend. Giles accepted her reassurances, and told her he'd pass the message on to Buffy. After she hung up the phone, Willow sat down and turned to Angel.
"Will I ever be able to trust them again?"
Angel regarded Willow thoughtfully. He didn't have an easy answer. Trust was a fragile thing, and once it had been broken, it wasn't easy to rebuild.
"I don't know, Willow."
Angel took Willow's hand and gripped it gently.
"Thank you, Angel."
"For what?"
"For being here for me."
"I'm here as long as you want me."
Willow leaned against Angel's chest, while Angel stroked her hair. Finally, Willow found herself relaxing. <But what happens tomorrow? How do I deal with Buffy and Xander?> These thoughts haunted Willow's thoughts until she fell asleep.
Angel watched Willow's face. He knew everything she felt, every emotion clearly written on her face. And the most important question, would her friendship with Buffy and Xander survive their deceit, had not been answered. Only time would tell.
Angel soon fell asleep. And just as Willow's dreams were conflicted, so were Angel's. Buffy's rejection had hurt more then he thought possible, but that was now being overshadowed by a desire to protect Willow from the same pain. But, he knew that there were going to be difficult times ahead....for all of them.
A chain of events
that had been started by one lie would now play out, and affect the lives
of all those involved.
Willow left Angel's apartment early and went home to get ready for school. <What am I going to do now?> Willow showered and got dressed. As she finished breakfast, the phone rang. <Please, don't be them.>
"Hello?"
"Willow, it's me."
"Hi, Angel."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine."
"Willow, this is me you're talking to. You don't have to hide your feelings from me."
"Angel, I'm scared to death."
"Just try to be strong. Don't let them make you feel guilty about being angry."
"I'll try. Will I see you later?"
"You bet. How 'bout we meet at the Bronze?"
Willow remained silent.
"Willow, what's wrong? Would you rather not be seen with me? I'll understand if that's a problem."
"No! That's not it. Are you sure you want to face Xander and Buffy?"
"I have to face it sometime. I won't allow them to force me back into the shadows. Besides, having you there will help."
"Ok, I'll meet you
there. Bye, Angel."
Willow grabbed her books and Angel's leather jacket and left the house. The walk to school helped clear her head, and she knew she was as ready as she was going to be. As soon as she got to school, Willow headed straight to the library. She was surprised that Buffy and Xander weren't there yet.
"Willow, there you are. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Giles."
"If you need to talk about anything...."
"It's alright. Really."
"Oh, good. Well,
then, let's get some work done."
Several minutes later, Buffy and Xander entered the library. They had their arms around each other, and were laughing at some private joke.
<Well, they weren't worried too much, I see.> Willow thought as she watched them enter, then turned her attention back to the computer. <I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. Remember what Angel said, Be strong.> Willow tightened Angel's jacket around herself. The jacket had become a type of security blanket for Willow. Angel was the only one left she felt she could trust, and having his jacket reminded her of his friendship.
"Willow! Where have you been? We looked everywhere for you." Buffy exclaimed.
"I guess not everywhere, since you didn't find me." Willow answered sarcastically.
"You had us worried." Xander added.
Willow just shrugged her shoulders. <They're doing it again. Talking to me like I'm a child.>
Buffy and Xander exchanged a look. Willow wasn't acting like herself. When Willow stood to leave, Buffy noticed what Willow was wearing.
"What are you doing with Angel's jacket?"
Willow turned to Buffy. <If I didn't know better, I'd think she sounded jealous.>
"It kind of looks like I'm wearing it."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Willow. I was just asking a question."
"Not that it's any of your business, but he gave it to me."
"When did you see dead-boy?" Xander asked.
Willow didn't acknowledge Xander's remark. She picked up her books, and headed to the doors.
"Willow?"
Willow stopped when she heard Buffy, but didn't turn around.
"What's happening to you?"
"I guess I'm growing up."
Willow walked out,
leaving her friends in shock.
After Willow left, Buffy and Xander were left wondering what had just happened. Willow had never been sarcastic before, and she'd never acted so distant either.
"What just happened?"
"I don't know. She's acting so unreasonable. And I want to know how Angel fits into all this."
Xander turned to his girlfriend. He didn't like the look on her face when she talked about her ex.
"Why are you so interested in Angel all of a sudden?"
"I'm just curious. That's all. Now, let's go."
Xander followed Buffy to class. This is all getting way out of hand. First Willow acting all wiggy, and now Buffy obsessing over Angel again. I don't like any of this.>
Buffy sat in class,
her mind on Angel. <Why did he give Willow his jacket? And what's going
on between them?> The thought of Angel with Willow didn't sit well with
Buffy.
Willow got through the rest of the day, but didn't say more than two words to Buffy and Xander the whole day. As she was leaving school, they stopped her.
"Willow, we're worried about you. I know you're upset about Xander and I, but you're overreacting. This attitude you're developing is not good. We're friends, and you need to put this behind you."
"My attitude? You're one to talk, Buffy. No one has the right to tell me how to feel or how to act. You knew how I felt about Xander from the beginning. But you didn't come to me, like a best friend would, to tell me that you had developed feelings for him too. You went behind my back."
"Will, we didn't want to hurt you. We were just...." Xander interrupted.
"I know what you were trying to do. You were just protecting 'poor Willow'. I'm not a child, so I'd appreciate it if you quit treating me like one."
"Maybe we will if you stop acting like one. You want to wallow in self-pity, then fine. Just don't expect us to sit around and watch. Let's go, Xander."
Xander looked between his girlfriend and his best friend.
"Willow, I...."
"Just go, Xander. But a little friendly warning, she's not over Angel."
"That was uncalled for, Willow."
"I'm just calling it like I see it. And if you were honest with yourself, you'd know I was right."
"What Buffy and Angel had is history. She's in love with me now. So you can tell Angel to quit hoping for the impossible."
"Angel has put the relationship in the past, Xander. He's moved on. But, if Buffy is over him, why was she concerned about the fact that I have his jacket?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because, I don't want to see you hurt. I've been there, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Just think about what I've said."
Xander ran to catch up with Buffy, while Willow headed in the opposite direction.
"What did she say?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing important." Xander put his arm around Buffy. But he couldn't forget the things Willow had said. <Is my relationship with Buffy as secure as I thought?> "Are we going to the Bronze tonight?"
"Of course. I hear they have a new band that's really hot." Buffy said excitedly.
"Ok, I'll see you later. Have a good practice with Giles."
The couple parted with a kiss. Xander headed home, while Buffy went in search of her watcher. She was looking forward to going to the Bronze. It'll be nice to have a night alone with Xander, where we won't have to worry about Willow....or Angel.>
Buffy and Xander had just finished a fast dance, and were headed back to their table, when Buffy stopped suddenly.
"Hey, why'd you stop?" Xander asked, absently rubbing his nose.
"Look!"
Xander turned to see what had Buffy in such a tizzy. At the entrance, stood Angel and Willow. And they looked pretty comfortable with each other. <Geez, what is it with that guy...yeah, look who I'm calling guy. Just when I think he's out of my life...BOOM, he's back. Kind of like a fungus.>
"They look pretty chummy, don't they? I wonder how long that's been going on?"
"What are you talking about? It's obvious he feels sorry for her." Buffy argued.
"Well, it isn't obvious to me. He doesn't look like he's complaining, and he appears to be enjoying himself. Besides, it's obvious they've been spending time together."
"Oh, please. She's practically hanging on him. I know what she's doing."
"(A) she's not hanging on him, and (B) what the heck are you talking about?"
"Xander, don't be so dense. She's hanging around Angel to get back at me. She's being vindictive."
"And why would she do that? I mean, since you're over Angel, why would she think it would bother you?"
But Buffy was no longer listening to Xander. Her attention was fixed on the couple dancing. Xander noticed that her eyes never left Angel. When the song ended, Xander watched the couple sit at a nearby table. <Boy, Willow really looks happy. But why did Angel have to be the one to put the smile back on her face?>
"Let's go say hi."
"Buffy, I don't think...."
Too late. Buffy had
a target in sight and nothing was going to stop her. Xander knew that this
encounter wouldn't be pretty, and desperately wished he was anywhere but
here. There had already been enough altercations to last him a lifetime.
Angel and Willow saw Buffy head toward them, and Willow became nervous. Angel squeezed her hand and gave her one of his sexy smiles. She felt confident that the relationship she and Angel had would get her through this. But as she saw Xander approach, Willow knew her warning about Buffy's real feelings had been ignored.
"Well, isn't this a surprise. I didn't realize you two were so friendly. But then, when I saw you with his jacket, I should have suspected what you were up to. Didn't take you long, did it, Willow?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, don't you? I mean, you've been mooning over Xander, and now you're going after Angel. Kind of fickle, aren't you?"
Everyone stared at the Slayer in silence. Angel glared at Buffy, Willow began to cry, and Xander just stood speechless. Buffy's verbal attack surprised everyone.
"Why are you doing this? I thought you were my friend, Buffy."
"Me, what did I do? You're the one crying about being betrayed and lied to. Poor Willow. And you've done the same thing. You went after your best friend's boyfriend!"
"Hey....." Xander started, but was cut off by Angel.
"Back off, Buffy. She didn't 'come after' me. We're friends, and we've been there for each other. And if it advances beyond friendship, it's none of your business. If you'll recall, you ended our relationship. You gave up any right to me when you started dating Xander, and went on with your life. So don't bitch now because I've gone on with mine. Let's go, Willow."
Willow stood and looked for a moment at Xander. Then she turned to Buffy.
"I thought our friendship was strong enough to survive anything, but I was wrong. And I won't let you make me feel guilty for being with Angel. You made your decisions, now you have to live with them."
"Oh, pretty speech. But maybe Angel would be interested to know that you're only using him. The way you see it, I stole Xander from you, so you are trying to steal Angel. But it won't work, he'd never be interested in you! I mean, just look at you."
"Say another word, Slayer, and you'll regret it!"
Buffy turned to Angel. In that instant, she knew what it was like to face Angelus. Angel was furious.
Willow realized that Angel was fighting to control his demon. And was warmed by Angel's protective fury. <But I have to handle this myself.> Willow put a hand on Angel's shoulder, and the determination in her eyes helped Angel regain control. He understood her silent message, and stepped back.
"I would never use Angel or anyone else. If you think I could, then you never knew me. I don't know what I ever did to you, except try to be your friend. I was very content to be your follower...a slayerette...but not anymore. A true friend wouldn't have done the things you've done. I'm through trying to be your friend."
"Oh, is this where we all feel sorry for you?"
"I don't care what you feel. I've been so worried about finding a way to get past the lies, because I wanted to keep our friendship. But I'm done. It's obvious you don't care about any of that. The only thing that matters to Buffy.....is Buffy. I feel sorry for you."
Without a backward glance, Willow left the Bronze with Angel by her side.
"Can you believe her nerve?"
Xander looked at the girl who had been his obsession since he had first laid eyes on her, and he didn't like what he saw. In that moment, he knew he'd been fooling himself. Buffy didn't love him that way, and she never would. That had become clear by her display tonight. She hadn't gotten over Angel. But after her behavior tonight, he wasn't sure he even wanted to be around her. <Willow was right about everything. And now I know the pain she felt. God, it's awful to love someone so much, and know they love someone else.>
"I can't believe your nerve." Xander answered.
"What?"
"What you just did to Willow was cruel. She didn't deserve that."
"Since when have you become the White Knight?"
"Stop it. I don't know what your problem is, but I'm getting off this ride. I've done things the past couple months that make me ashamed of myself. Including the way I've treated Willow. I think I better go."
"Wait a minute. You can't let them ruin our night." Buffy reached for Xander's arm.
Xander gently shook Buffy's hand off his arm, and grabbed his coat.
"They didn't ruin it, you did. It's obvious you're still hung up on Angel, so I think this is a good time to say goodbye."
Buffy was stunned. <This is too weird. Angel's with Willow; Xander dumped me; Willow ended our friendship. Maybe there's a prophecy to explain this.> Buffy left to find Giles. <I'll find out what's going on, and then everything will get back to normal. And I'll have Angel back.>
Buffy sat fuming in her room. She had gone to Giles, but he could find no prophecy or any other supernatural reasons for what had happened. <What else could've caused all of this trouble?>
Buffy decided that she would mend fences with Xander later. She would make sure he understood that they could only be friends. And later, she and Willow would sit down and sort out their problems. But first things first, she had to see Angel.
It was after midnight when Buffy got to Angel's apartment. When he answered the door, she noticed he didn't look happy to see her. <He's probably still peeved about what happened at the Bronze.>
"Can I come in?"
Angel backed up to let her enter. <Boy, does he ever look sexy without a shirt!>
"What do you want?"
"Look, I came to apologize. I realize I made a mistake when I let you go. I was just so confused. But seeing you tonight made me admit to myself how much I still love you. We belong together."
"What about Xander?"
"He's a good friend, and I convinced myself that my feelings were deeper then they were. But I think he's realized that we'll never be more than friends."
"Well, that's very interesting. But I don't know why you came here to tell me. Who you date is no business of mine anymore."
"Angel, please don't be like that. We can be together."
"I think you're forgetting something."
"What? Oh, you mean Willow. Don't worry about her, she'll be fine. And I'll talk to her, and our friendship will be back to normal."
"Although I highly doubt that, given tonight's argument, that wasn't what I was talking about. I'm talking about my relationship with her."
"You're friends. I know that it's nothing more than that."
"Then I guess you're not as smart as you think you are, because you're wrong."
"You can't mean you have feelings for her?"
"I have no intention of discussing my relationship with Willow. I told you before that it was none of your business."
"But, you love me!"
Just then the bedroom door opened, and Willow stepped out. Buffy stared at the girl in disbelief.
"Angel, I better go. You and Buffy need to talk."
Angel grabbed Willow by the arm and pulled her to him.
"No, we did all the talking that needs to be done tonight. I invited you here, she'll be the one to leave."
"Angel, why are you doing this? We have something special. Don't let her come between us."
"What we had was in the past. Willow didn't come between us, you were the one who destroyed whatever we had. You ended our relationship, so you have no one to blame but yourself. And just because you've changed your mind, don't think I have. I have a relationship with Willow, and whatever happens between us is no one else's business."
"But you love me. I know you do!"
"I'll always care about you, but I don't know you anymore. I can't forget the way you've treated Willow. But you were right about one thing....a relationship between us would never work."
"Then maybe I should do now, what I should've done when we met!"
In a split second, Buffy pulled out a stake. As she was about to throw it at Angel, two things happened simultaneously. Willow jumped in front of Angel at the same time that Xander came from behind Buffy and grabbed her. The stake flew wide, and imbedded itself in Willow's shoulder.
"WILLOW!!!" The name echoed by all three.
Angel caught Willow before she fell, and laid her on the couch. Xander rushed toward them, stopping only to grab towels. Buffy looked on, frozen to the spot.
"Willow, you're going to be fine. Xander, hold her hand while I pull out the stake."
Angel had the stake free in seconds, and wrapped the wound in towels. He picked Willow up, and turned toward the door, where Buffy still stood.
"I hope you're happy. If Xander hadn't grabbed you, Willow would've died. You almost killed an innocent person!"
Angel carried Willow past the Slayer. "Xander, I'm taking Willow to the hospital. Meet us there."
Buffy turned to watch them leave. "I was throwing it at Angel, but she jumped in the way. It wasn't my fault." Buffy said weakly.
"What did you think she'd do? Just let you kill Angel. You should've never had that stake out. But you decided if you couldn't have Angel, neither would Willow. Isn't that right?" Xander yelled.
"That's not true! He's a vampire. It's my job to destroy him."
"Don't try to justify what you've done. You've gone too far this time."
Xander exited the apartment. Buffy sat on the floor, and cried.
"My God, what have I done?"
She had nearly killed
one of her closest friends, and had turned the other two against her. The
look of loathing in Angel's eyes, and anger in Xander's eyes, and the pain
in Willow's, would haunt her forever. Buffy got up and fled the apartment.
Xander and Angel sat in the waiting room at the hospital. The wound wasn't as deep as first suspected, but it still required stitches.
"Tell me I'm going to wake up, and the past couple months will have been a horrible nightmare." Xander said.
"Afraid not. It all happened, and no amount of wishing is going to make it go away."
"Go ahead, Angel. Tell me what a horse's you-know-what I've been."
"That won't accomplish anything. But I won't tell you that what you did won't have consequences. You hurt Willow, and you destroyed her trust in you. It won't be easy getting that back."
"I know that. Man, my mind keeps replaying the things I said to Willow. It all started so innocently. Buffy and I wanted to protect her from the truth. But it backfired, big time."
"If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that no matter how much the truth hurts, it's better then a lie. Lies always have a way of snowballing, and eventually they bury you."
"Tell me about it."
Angel watched the boy beside him. It was no secret that there was no love lost between the two of them, but he saw that Xander had grown up a lot in the past hour. Angel knew that Xander would have to work to regain a close relationship with Willow, there had been too much pain for things to just return to the way they were. But, Angel planned to be there for Willow every step of the way.
Xander was also deep in thought. The scene at Angel's apartment kept replaying in his head. And the fear when he saw Willow fall. For a moment, he had thought she was dead, and a pain shot through his heart. It all became so clear to him then. That statement remained true, even after he knew she was alive.
The sound of footsteps drew both guys attention. Willow was being wheeled out of the emergency room. After she signed the release forms, Willow walked over to Angel.
"How are you?"
"I'm tired. Can we just leave?"
"Of course."
Angel put his arm around Willow, and gave her his support.
"Willow?"
Willow turned weary eyes to Xander.
"Not now, Xander. Please. I can't handle anything else right now."
"Ok. I'm sorry, Will."
Willow nodded, and allowed Angel to lead her out of the hospital.
Xander watched them leave. <I've hurt her so much. I can't tell her now that I've discovered I was wrong.> Xander vowed he'd never tell anyone. This was one secret that had to remain hidden. Willow deserved to be happy, and she seemed to have found that with Angel.
Xander left the hospital, unaware of the girl hiding in the shadows. Buffy had watched Angel and Willow leave. She had come to make sure that Willow would be okay. But, she knew that she wouldn't be welcomed inside. So, she'd watched from the shadows. Silently, the Slayer headed home....alone.
Xander laid on his bed. So much had happened, and he knew that things might never be the same again. <How am I supposed to face Buffy after what she did? But aren't I just as guilty?> Sleep would be a long time coming for him. Everything replayed continuously, in slow motion.
Buffy stared out into the night. <What have I become? Why did I say those things to Willow? How do I face her after everything I've done?> The sleepless night streched ahead of the Slayer, her tortured thoughts wouldn't allow her the escape of sleep. And tomorrow, she would have to face her Watcher, and admit that she'd nearly killed Willow.
Buffy entered the library the next morning. Giles took in her appearance, and immediately knew something was wrong.
"What's happened?"
"You better sit down."
Giles didn't like the sound of that, but he sat down. He listened in silence as Buffy related the events of the previous night.
"How's Willow?"
"She'll be fine. Angel took her home, and stayed with her."
Giles didn't question how she knew that. He was still in shock. His Slayer had used her training against an innocent person...a friend. <Where did I fail? I should have been able to prevent this.>
"Giles? Say something."
"What would you have me say?"
"I don't know. Something."
"I'm sorry. I need time to digest this information. To try to understand how you could've done this. But I will say this...I hope you realize how very lucky you were that Xander knocked your aim off. Otherwise, you'd be facing the fact that you had killed your friend."
Giles went to his office, and closed the door. Buffy was left in the library by herself. Finally, she wasn't able to stand her own company, and left school. She went home and locked herself in her room.
Xander stopped by Willow's on the way to the school. He had to see for himself that she was okay. Willow answered the door when he knocked.
"Willow, can I come in?"
"Okay."
Xander entered but stopped just inside the doorway.
"Where's Angel?"
"It's daylight. He's sleeping."
"Willow, I have to apologize for everything I've said. I know they're just words but I mean them. I can't take back those things, but I want you to know.....I'm so sorry."
"Sorry doesn't fix everything, Xander."
"I know that. And I know I have to earn back your trust....and your friendship. All I'm asking for is a chance. We've been friends our entire lives, please just give me the chance to make this up to you."
Willow watched the boy in front of her. He was different somehow. <Can I open myself up to be hurt by him again?> But something Angel said came back to her. He told her she needed to decide if her friendship with Xander was worth taking the chance that he might hurt her again. <Is it?>
"Willow?"
"I can't promise anything, Xander. Because, even though I may eventually be able to forgive what you've done, I'll never forget. But, I'm willing to try to rebuild our friendship. But we'll have to take it one step at a time."
"That's all I'm asking for. Look, I better get to class. Are you going to be okay?"
"Yes. I've got Angel."
"Right. I guess I'll talk to you later."
Xander left, and went to school. He wasn't surprised when he noticed Buffy was absent. He still had no idea how to deal with her, but at least Willow was willing to give their friendship a second try. But how they would all interact once they were together again, remained unkown. <Will we ever be friends again....Buffy, Willow, and I?>
Several months later.....
Buffy had never felt more alone then she had been lately. She saw Giles everyday at the library, but he remained distant. He was still disappointed in her actions, and she couldn't blame him. What she had done went against everything Giles had taught her. She'd let her emotions blur her judgement, with near fatal consequences.
Willow still helped out on the computer, and Xander still hung over her shoulder telling stupid jokes. She'd watched them try to piece together the pieces of their friendship. But nothing was the same.
Willow and Angel spent every night together. Their relationship had developed over time, from friendship to a loving relationship. Occasionally, they went to the Bronze with Xander and Cordelia. It had surprised both of them when those two had started dating, but who were they to comment on odd couples. Other times, Willow and Angel spent their time alone.
Buffy watched from the sidelines as her friends made plans that didn't include her. She still felt an ache everytime she saw Angel, but she'd come to terms with the fact that she'd lost him. And she was sincerely happy that his relationship with Willow was working out so well.
<Now if only I could get my friends back. I know I was wrong. The things I said and did were unforgivable. But all I'm asking for is a second chance. Xander got one from Willow, don't I deserve the same?> Buffy turned away from the Bronze and headed home. <Mom'll be thrilled with this, my grades have never been better.>
Across the street, three figures watched the Slayer leave.
"I feel sorry for her."
"Willow, don't. She made her choices, and not once has she apologized to any of us."
"But, Xander. Doesn't she deserve a second chance, too?"
"He's right. She may regret what she did, but she's never acknowledged that she was wrong. Buffy needs to face what she did, and apologize. Just like Xander did. But by not saying she's sorry, she's saying she doesn't think she was wrong."
Willow looked up at Angel. She knew he was right. She missed hanging out with Buffy, but she couldn't forget the look in Buffy's eyes when she threw that stake. Buffy had intended to kill Angel. And not once had she admitted that she made a mistake.
"Look, we better get going. Cordelia will have my head if we're late."
Willow looked at Xander. Their friendship wasn't back to where it had been, and it may never be that way again. But, they were making strides, and that was enough for now.
Angel put his arm around Willow and kissed her head. Xander walked along on her other side.
"We better hurry. We wouldn't want him to lose his head, that would be just terrible." Angel said with a smirk.
"Oh, very funny, you crack me up."
Willow laughed. It felt good. Xander and Angel would never be close friends, but they had things in common, and both enjoyed their good-natured teasing. <Even though they're both too stubborn to admit it.>
"Things will work out. Just give it time." Angel whispered softly.
"Ok, enough with the downers." Xander said as he tapped Willow on the shoulder. "You're it!"
Then he and Angel
took off running, laughing the whole way. While Willow chased them, yelling
dire consequences after them.
A lone figure stood watching the activity. Tears ran down her cheeks, as the truth of what she'd lost became clear. <How could one lie...no, one omission, cost me so much? Their lives are going on without me, but I'm alone.>
If only there was
a way to turn back time, a way to make everything right. But there wasn't.
Buffy knew that if she ever needed help, they would be there to back her
up. But she had destroyed the relationships that meant the most to her.
She could only hope that someday, things might return to normal. Until
then, she had a job to do. Buffy was confident that things would work themselves
out eventually. However, she was unwilling to do the one thing that would
help the healing begin....admit that she made a mistake.
Epilogue:
Buffy was never able to apologize for the things she'd done. Call it pride....or stubborness...but it cost her the only true friends she'd ever had. She continued as the Slayer until her death at the age of 25. And she died the way she'd lived....alone.
Giles phoned the others to inform them of Buffy's death, and one by one they came back. To say a final goodbye to a friend that had been lost long before she'd died.
Giles had remained as Buffy's watcher, but their relationship had been strained. Buffy had grown bitter after high school, and their training often ended in fights.
Xander and Cordelia returned from Los Angeles, where they had been living since they'd graduated.
Willow and Angel came from New York, where they'd moved after Willow graduated high school.
They all attended
the funeral together. However, they weren't there to mourn for the woman
who had died. They mourned the sixteen year old girl they met all those
years ago. The girl who was their friend. That was the person they said
goodbye to, not the bitter woman she'd become.
Time and distance kept Xander and Willow apart, but they were able to continue a friendship. They had been through a lot together--good and bad--and both needed that connection to their youth. Through marriages, births, deaths....they were able to count on each other again. Their relationship had come full circle.
2080...
A young man knelt at the familiar gravestones. No matter how many times he looked at them, it never got any easier. In his mind, he still saw them as the innocent children they'd been. And the father figure who had watched over them.
Alexander Harris
1980-2045
Cordelia Chase Harris
1980-2043
Willow Rosenberg
1980-2007
Buffy Summers 1980-2005
Rupert Giles 1958-2020
"Are you alright?"
Angel turned at the sound of his beloved's voice.
"I'm fine."
Willow walked over to her gravestone.
"It's strange. No matter how many times I see that, it still gives me the creeps."
Angel brought Willow into his arms, and held her tightly.
"Me too. It reminds of how close I came to losing you forever."
{A hit and run driver had nearly killed Willow. Her injuries were life threatening, but Angel had been afraid to change her. She wasn't able to tell him what to do. Xander had arrived and begged Angel to do what he had to do to keep her alive. It was the only push Angel needed. Together, they had taken her from the hospital. Thankfully, after anchoring her soul, Willow assured him that he did the right thing. He would have his love with him for eternity, but to the rest of the world, she'd died in that accident. After he played the grieving fiance for her family, he had left to begin his new life with the woman he loved.}
"I still miss them, Angel."
"I know."
The couple disappeared into the night. Their friends were gone, but they would forever live in their memories. And they had a lifetime of living...and loving to do.
As Willow walked away from the cemetary, she took one final look. <Goodbye, my friends.>
THE END!