DISCLAIMER: Characters are not mine in any sense of the word... unless you mean as a mate, cuz in that case both Angel and Spike are mine... but really, all characters in the BVTS universe belong to that evil evil (and not the fun kind of evil) man, joss...
DISTRUBUTION: Fenris's site, Angel of Mine, and AHWLII... you don't even have to ask to post it on your site, just tell me you put it there...
RATING: PG-13... a bad word or two, mentions sex, nothing really worse than whats on the show
PAIRING: W/ with a hot vamp... that’s all I’m saying, I’m not telling you any more than that! READ IT!!!
SPOILER: after 3rd season... Angel is in LA, and that karoke bar comes into play, but that’s about all from season 5
TYPE: Major Angst... I’m just having a bad day
DEDICATED: to Tisienne Blue... LOVED S&S chica!!!! the Candy Orgy of course, b/c THEY ROCK MY WORLD... special thanx to Salice, who (unknowingly) gave me the idea (but if it sucks, its not her fault)
FEEDBACK: SEND IT!!!! pwease? I may be a feedback whore, but @ least I'm not a real one!
SUMMERY: Someone is watching +him... just read it!!!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: <> = thoughts, ** = emphasis, ~~ = sounds, + = the ‘special’ guy who I’m talking about when I say +he, him, etc… you’ll find out who it is @ the end.:)--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m not telling whose POV it is... could be Buffy, could be Willow, could be Xander, could be Riley, could be Anya, could be Giles, could be Angel, hell it could be Spike... You’ll just have to read and find out :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It’s been one week. One whole week since it happened. It feels like an eternity. I’ve been here, standing here, watching +him, for what seems like an eternity. I’m still here, in LA. I don’t know why. I keep torturing myself by staying here, but I can’t leave.
* * *Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song* * *
When my *friend* told me +he was coming here to see the aura-reading demon, I almost left before he told me where the karoke bar was. The silence was deafening while he drove. It was almost as bad as when we left Sunnydale. That was the first time he didn’t run over the welcome sign. He made a joke about it. Neither of us laughed. We weren’t in the mood. Both our hearts were aching over +him. He’s almost in worse shape than I am. Almost.
* * *Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly, with his song* * *
When she found out what had happened, she left Sunnydale, right after we did. She even brought her lover with her. She can be so oblivious. I would have thought that she could figure out taking your current lover to see your ‘true love’ would be a bad idea. Especially when you were planning to dump said lover. I was wrong.
That’s not the only thing she’s oblivious about. She should have seen that my friend was in love with +him. She should have seen it when him had been lusting after her. Of course, he’s over that, but he still cares about he to some degree, even if he won’t admit it. Sure, he’d kill her in a heartbeat, but I don’t think he’d torture her while he did it anymore… well, not much anyway. Not that he’ll ever get the chance now. +He will make damn sure of that.
* * *I heard he sang a good song,
I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes* * *
She only knows half the story. She knows she can give +him a 'happy' in every way a vampire could want it. She doesn't know who +he tested +his 'impotency' on, just to make sure it was gone. Me.
* * *Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song* * *
She doesn’t know what +he said to me afterwards. “Thank you so much. You’re such a good friend.” No mentions of eternal love, not even a reference to how it was. Instead, +he used the one word stung me more than anything else +he could have possibly said. ‘Friend.’ I’m the best friend, the chum, the buddy. Don’t get me wrong, I value friendship, and I love my friends. But is it so wrong to want something else? Something different? Something more?
* * *Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly, with his song* * *
I tried to hide my tears, just like I am now. But I couldn’t. I’m getting better now. I pretend I have something in my contacts. I’m almost believable. I wasn’t then.
* * *I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowdI
felt he found my letters, and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on* * *
+He wanted to know what was wrong. WHAT WAS WRONG?!?! Could it be I had just made love with – no, that required love; I thought +he’d never loved me – slept with the one I love, and all +he could think about was HER?!?!
* * *
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song* * *
I can see her, sitting at the table closest to the stage. She’s watching +him sing, with the same longing that I am. +He sings about eternal love. The eternal love I know +he has for her. No, had for her. He’s singing in the past tense. I watch her to see if she notices. She doesn’t. I wonder if he even knows. He’s probably too caught up in watching her.
It’s killing me to
hear +him sing about her, for her. Not me. A little part of me dies. I
almost hope the rest will soon follow.
* * *Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly, with his song* * *
As +he comes down from the stage, +he stops in front of her table. +He holds out +his hand to her, and she takes it, her eyes shining. I watch with sick fascination as +he pulls her into a kiss. It’s in slow motion. It’s almost like a car wreck; it’s something horrible happening, but you don’t turn away from it. You watch. Spike’s hand is on mine, rubbing it softly, comforting me through the cheers the crowd releases watching the display. I look down and Spike’s hand tightens around mine as I hear her neck snap, and the cheers of the demons get louder. “I’m sorry Buffy. I never meant for this to happen,” I whisper.
* * *Oh, oh, oh... La, la, la, la...* * *
I look up at Spike, my eyes pleading. “Please, lets go.” He slowly, remorsefully shakes his head, for show, in case +he is watching. “Alright love. But I hope you know what we’re getting in to.” I lower my eyes again. “I know.” We watch +him for an opportunity to escape. +He’s so busy reveling in +his accomplishment that +he doesn’t notice us. We get up to leave, and as we walk quietly Spike gently kisses my lips. The kiss is quick and light, but I can feel my lips tingling from the contact. I look at him, eyes questioning. I am about to ask when he presses his finger to my mouth. “Shhh, luv. Just wanted you to know, I love you, even if you don’t feel the same way.” I smile, almost forgetting the pain I had felt. Suddenly remembering where we are, we hurry toward the door. We almost make it to the door before +he stops us.
* * *Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song* * *
“Going somewhere, my loves?” +He asks in a silky voice. My eyes widen. I thought I had been torturing myself by staying; I won’t know what torture is until +he takes us. “Before I make you scream,” +he smiles sensually yet cruelly, leaving me to wonder just how +he plans to make me scream. +His eyes fill with laughter as +he sees the confusion on my face that I thought I had masked so well. +He continues. “I just wanted to thank you for what you did. I’ve gotta give Angel credit for two things.” +He leans in, his lips brushing my ear. I unconsciously lean into the delicious contact for a moment before I jerk away. +He smirks. “The first is, he believed the PTBs.” He must have seen my expression of surprise, because his smirk gets wider. “They were right, he would never lose his soul over the One. He thought they meant his ‘One true love.’” +He snickers. My blood begins to boil, but I know better to say anything right then. I’ve got to keep him talking. Maybe Angel will come soon.
* * *Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly, with his song* * *
“Who did they mean?” I ask. My voice does not betray the feelings of anger, pain, and still a tiny bit of disbelief, even after everything that’s happened. “What, you can’t figure it out?” He clucks his tongue, mocking the way my mother would have. “And I thought you were the smart one.” He sighs in exaggerated disappointment. “The they were talking about was the Chosen One,” He says with exaggerated slowness, as if speaking to a child. I bite my tongue to keep myself from saying something I’ll regret. “But aren’t they one in the same?” I ground out with clenched teeth. +He shakes his head, grinning like the Cheshire cat. Suddenly I understand. My voice no longer contains the control it once had. It wavers as I speak one last time. “It was me.”
* * *Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song* * *
+He nods. For a second his eyes soften before they turn to ice again. In that one second I could have lost myself in those eyes. For that one second I could have been happy. Angel loved me; not her, me. But now the moment passes, and his eyes once again hold only malicious intent, and the watch me mockingly. “The other thing I’ve got to thank Angel for is the sex. Probably best the fuck I’ve had. You’ll make a great consort.” He grins wickedly, and I’m torn between disgust with him and lust for him. I know Spike was watching with the same horrid fascination that I had watched +him kiss Buffy. I know Spike is hurting over what +he said; after all, Spike did say he loved +him, loves me. I try to tell him that +he probably didn’t mean it, that it was another cruel joke at both of our expenses, but before I can say anything +he lowers +he’s head to my face. With agonizing slowness he licks the tears off my cheeks. “So delicious... do you have an idea how beautiful you are when you cry? I couldn’t let you leave my bed without seeing you cry... it’s almost as magnificent as your face when you cum,” +he murmurs. “But nothing can compare to that.” +His tongue caresses my earlobe before moving down to my pulse point. +He nibbles softly. I know that it’s the end. I won’t go out screaming. I know he relishes the screams of his victims; I won’t let him relish mine. I won’t give +him that satisfaction.
* * *Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly, with his song* * *
+He’s killing me
softly. I can feel me life force leaving me, I can hear the last breaths
I will ever take. Through my blurred vision, I can see Spike fighting in
the background, trying to save me. It’s too late. Angelus raises +his bleeding
wrist to my lips; I try to fight the need to drink it, but I can’t. My
eyes flutter shut, and I can barely feel +him kiss them gently. “See you
soon, Willow. Love you.” His voice sounds so caring that I wonder how it
could be the same man who just killed my best friend. I hear Spike shout
over +his whispers. I hope he’s there when I wake up. I need Spike like
I need +him, both sides of him... the demon and the angel. Angel! What
if the spell to bring him back kicks in now... doesn’t... matter... he’s...
killing... me... softly...
The End
What do ya think? Lemme know, I thrive on feedback! And if its really bad, I’m sorry, I wrote it @ 3 am when I was stressed over the math final and the Latin final… what can I say, I’m a procrastinator! Except about Spike and Angel… When it cums to them I’m right on top of things ::using bad puns::
PS I haven’t been
online much lately cuz my comp crashed and right now I stole... um borrowed
(I’m gonna return it!) my brother’s, and I can’t use it all the time (*he*
actually wants it for some reason) but I’m probably getting a new one for
Christmas (fingers crossed), so no worries ::worrying about the exams I
just took:: ;)