Title: The Emptiness Inside Me
Author: Diana C. (dianac05@usa.net)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss Whedon
Distribution: ARITS, FAS, Diana C's Fiction, Willow's Heart and anyone just ask.
Feedback: Yes please (more than ever)
Author's Notes: I've been crying but I don't know why, I guess these feelings below our how I exactly us to feel, I hope this can relate to some people "use" to feel like. I guess sometimes people feel alone, if anyone wants to pick up and continue this story and make it happy, I'd appreciate it could be anything from a w/s, w/a, to a w/l.  Tell me what you think.
Dedication: To anyone who has ever felt this way, if you ever need anyone to talk to know that I am hear, and I do care.
 
 
 

Willow listened to the song feeling oddly depressed, <Why can't I have someone
there for me?  What did I do wrong?> a lone tear cascaded down her face,
followed by another then another.
 

 "Why does it hurt so much?" she asked the empty air around her, in despair
she collapsed onto her bed and looked up at the ceiling, she silently cried.
Trying to stop the tears from falling she clenched her eyes shut.  She moaned
in despair and desperately tried to ride the feelings of emptiness inside of
her.
 

Finally giving up she hurled herself out of her cozy bed, which didn't make
such of a difference since the whole house always felt so empty.  She fell to
her knees and brought her head to the ground she felt body retching sobs flood
over her body.  She trembled and gasped for air, her crying never stopping.
 

She chocked out a high-pitched yell, "Why?" she asked.  "Why do I feel so
alone!?!" she screamed into the air.  Willow grasped her sides clutching them
like she was in pain, sure she was in pain but not physical but emotional and
to her it felt like she was dying her own death in massive amounts of pain.
 

  She whispered sadly as another tear trickled down her face, "Why does it
hurt so much?" Willow asked herself desperately trying to come up with a
solution but never accepting an answer.
 

Curling up into a ball and rolling to the side she rocked back and forth
humming a tone to herself, trying desperately to forget the loneliness that
gripped at her soul.
 

<Why am I like this? I have friends. so what if I don't have love.. Not that
anyone would like me; I'm so ugly, alone.  Everyone leaves me.. I don't need
anyone do I?  I'm perfectly happy the way I am. Who cares if I feel like I
have no future. Oh why was I born? Am I in hell? Did I do something wrong?
Maybe I'll open my eyes and I'll wake up in the real world, Goddess why am I
here? Why can't you hear me? >
 

"Please help me." She whispered.  "I don't want to be alone anymore." She
whispered.
 

"I'll be good. I promise! I'll never ask anything ever again! Please HELP me!"
she pleaded into the air as she continued to rock back and forth.
 

Her hair veiled her from the outside world, and her room was sheathed in
darkness, just making her mood all the more real.  This is what her World felt
like, like she was in her own black void where she screamed and screamed but
no one came.
 

Willow felt like she was sinking, she got up and walked to her balcony opening
the curtains she dared to enter the night.  She let the cold breeze numb her
even more, letting the wind whip her hair around, she tried aimlessly to
dispel her feelings, oh how she wished she didn't have to feel.
 

Willow crossed her arms and rubbed her pair shoulders, her crying long
forgotten as she tried to think happy thoughts, closing her eyes she started
singing.
 

"When the visions around you." She whispered softly to herself.  "Bring tears
to your eyes." Her eyes opened and free tears clouded her eyes as she
continued, "And all that surrounds you are secrets and lies."  She chocked
out.
 

She wouldn't dare continue on with the song, for fear that when she finished
her savior wouldn't come.  Forcing the tears back she bit her lip, and walked
inside.
 

Closing the doors she went her bed and curled up. She choked back another sob,
closing her eyes she slipped into a restless sleep, all the while thinking.
 

<Still alone, and no one knows. I'm still alone>
 

Meanwhile outside her balcony below a lone figure stood looking up sadly at
the windows to the little redheads place.  Thoughts crossed them mind a mile a
minute, racing at the speed of light.
 
 

Glancing once more at the now empty place where she had once stood the figure
turned on its hell walking away from the empty house.
 

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