Pairing: W/A
Rating: PG
Dedication: Inell, who's still the living, breathing reason why I post
Distribution: Angelic Vamps, Bite Me, Please? NHA and Soulmates. Anyone else, if you want it, just ask. I always say yes.
Disclaimer: Joss owns Willow and Angel and "To Get Me To You" is written by Diane Warren and performed by Lila McCaan
Spoilers: End of Buffy's season 5 and Angel's season 2
Summary: Angel requests a special song
A/N: Song lyrics are in asterisks
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Willow tried to lose herself in the music, closing her eyes and grinding back against… Ryan? Brian? She couldn't really remember his name. She couldn't remember his face, either. She had kept her eyes closed and her back to him through all of their dances. But he was tall, and strong, and held her close, and that would have to do for now. She'd dance a few more songs wrapped in his arms, and then she'd go home to her empty apartment. Alone. She'd crawl into her empty bed. Alone. And she'd try to sleep. Alone. She knew that if she wanted, she could probably get Ryan-Brian to come home with her, and sleep next to a warm body for a change. But she didn't want a warm body. She wanted a cold body. Angel's cold body.
In all her twenty years, Willow had only had three lovers. She was incapable of meaningless sex. As much as she hated the thought of being alone, she wouldn't cheapen what she had had with Oz, Tara, and Angel by making love into a casual act, performed with a stranger. That was why she had come to the club in the first place. She wouldn't sleep with a stranger, but she would dance with one and, while she danced, she could be held in someone's arms again. It was cold comfort, but it was all she was willing to accept. Ryan-Brian wasn't that bad. He was tall and well built and wearing a leather jacket and as long as she kept her eyes closed while she pressed against him, she could almost imagine…
Suddenly she froze.
She had been in the club for hours, and the entire time, they had played cool, smoky blues. That was why she had chosen that club; she figured their musical preferences would suit her mood. But she recognized the opening music of the song they were playing and it most definitely wasn't a blues number. She wouldn't have thought a club like that would even HAVE a copy of country music CDs.
Angel eyed her nervously from his position next to the D.J. The man had been surprisingly open to Angel's suggestion to play this as the next song. It probably helped that Angel handed him a hundred dollar bill as he made his request. And the fact that Angel was still in vamp face might not have hurt, either. But the demon receded as he stood there, nervous and hesitant, waiting for Willow to recognize the song. He knew that she'd know it. He had heard her listen to the `Hope Floats' soundtrack a million times. He knew she'd pick up on the significance. Willow always understood him. But would she accept his apology? Would she let him back into her life?
Even if he had been able to breathe, Angel would have held his breath as he saw Willow's eyes fly open as she turned toward the D.J. and locked her eyes with his. For a minute, he was terrified that she'd turn around and leave. But she didn't. She simply stood there, waiting. The vocals on the song began.
*Well I, I still can remember times
When the night seemed to surround me
I was sure the sun would never shine on me*
Angel caught a bit of a wry smile on Willow's face as she listened to the words. It gave him the courage he needed to take a step toward her. When she didn't step away, he took another step. And then another.
*And I, I thought it my destiny
To walk this world alone
But now you're here with me
Now you're here with me*
Willow tried desperately to hold herself together. She didn't want Angel to see her cry. Half of her wanted to run as far away as she could from the man who had hurt her so badly, and the other half of her wanted to grab hold of him and never let go. She still loved him. So much. But she wouldn't go back to him if he didn't love her. She knew he probably missed her, and she was certain that he cared about her, but she loved him far too much to accept anything but love from him. She bit her lip and forced herself to breathe as he stepped closer.
*And I don't regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way*
Angel finally reached her. All he wanted in the world was to pull her into his arms and hold her forever. But he didn't have the right to do that… yet.
*Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you
To get me to you*
"Willow, I…" Angel said, then stopped. After two and a half centuries on earth, he still had no idea how to tell Willow what he wanted to say. Nothing on earth was more important than NOT SCREWING THIS UP and every word or phrase he thought of some how sounded wrong.
"Yes, Angel?" Willow answered, waiting for him to continue.
*Well I, I still can recall the days
When I had no love around me
Makes me glad for every day I have with you*
Angel listened to the lyrics, hoping they would give him some kind of inspiration.
*And I, I look in your eyes and know*
He looked into her eyes, and realized that he DID know.
*I'm right where I belong*
This was where he wanted to be. This was how he wanted to spend the rest of eternity: looking at the woman that he loved. He said the next lines along with the music.
*And I belong with you
Always belonged with you*
He saw the tears build up in her eyes, but still she didn't speak. And suddenly the words started rushing out of him. And he stopped listening to the music that continued to play in the background as he spoke.
*And I don't regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain*
"Willow, I know I hurt you. And I'd understand if you never wanted to see me again. But I'm glad I got the chance to see you one more time, because I wanted to thank you."
*Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way*
"You know better than anyone that I've spent most of my life hating myself because I regretted all the things that I've done. But I don't regret any of it anymore, because everything I did, every choice I made, led me to you."
*Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break*
"I love you, Willow. And if I could, I'd do everything over again, because loving you made the rest of my life worthwhile."
*It was just something that I had to go through
To get me to you
To get me to you*
"Even if it's really over between us, and even if I never get to see you again, I'll always be grateful that I got to have you, even if it was just for a little while. And now the only thing left that I regret is that I hurt you."
*And if I could I wouldn't change a thing
Wouldn't change a thing baby*
Angel paused for a minute, gathering the courage to ask his question. "Willow, do you think you could ever forgive me?"
*Because your love was waiting there for me
Waiting there for me baby*
There was a pause in the music that matched Willow's pause as she processed what Angel had said. She had given up trying to hold back her tears and they spilled over her cheeks as she stood, trying to make her decision. Finally, she realized there was only one choice she could make. She reached out, and took his hand.
*And I don't regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain*
Angel yanked her into his arms and hugged her hard against him. If he had his way, he'd never let go again. He could feel her tears soak through his shirt, and he knew that she could probably feel his tears as well, where they trickled into her hair.
*Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way*
He rocked her gently to the music and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. Angel held her tightly and raised a silent prayer of thanks to Darla, to the Kalderash gypsies, to Buffy, to Doyle, to the PTB, to thank all of them for bringing him to this place, this moment, when he was finally, truly happy.
*Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you
To get me to you
To get me to you*
The song ended, and Willow pulled away from him slightly. Angel panicked for a moment, until he saw the smile that lit up her face.
"Take me home, Angel," she whispered. He nodded, and her smile grew larger, as a tear of happiness slid down her cheek.
END