Distribution: Angel of Mine, TNPWFLD, Seren's Site, Fever of Fate, anyone else please ask first.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Angel, Willow and co. do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Me + Feedback = Happy!!!
Summery: Angel has to make a hard choice.
Spoilers/Warnings: Angel
Authors Notes: Based around the episode 'Angel'. Part two in the Forbidden Love series.
< > Indicates thoughts.
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From the journal
of Angelus Kiren O'Brian.
Well it finally happened, I had seen it coming for a while now actually.
I had always known that Buffy had been attracted to me, even though she had tried to hide it through a sea of witty or cutting comments. And while I'll admit that she is pretty, I was always looking for brains, intelligence...someone with the same interests as me...someone like Willow.
Now that's not saying I don't think Buffy has brains, I do. But I wanted someone I could discuss poetry with, or Shakespeare.
But none of that matters. I know Willow would never be interested in me. She was interested in Xander instead. Buffy had told me so herself.
I think that's what helped me make my decision in part, or at least made it easier.
Buffy and I had just run into 'The Three' and had escaped to her house. When we were safely inside, Buffy had insisted to treat my wound. After an encounter with her mother it had ended up with me spending the night on her bedroom floor.
The next day when she had returned from school, we had talked for a while and somehow ended up kissing.
The problem was that I was wondering if this was anything like kissing Willow. Disgusted at my own thoughts while kissing someone else, I had changed into my true face.
Breaking the kiss, I had turned away, hoping to change back to my human face before she saw...but she did.
All I remember is hearing her scream before I fled put the window.
As I think back to that night, I wonder what had made me kiss her in the first place.
I am slightly attracted to her I'll admit, although not head over heals attracted to her like I am to Willow.
I suppose in a way I'm settling for second best, if I can't have Willow so I'll settle for the next best thing. Which sounds very shallow I know.
Either way, the choice has been made, and I hope in time that my feelings for her will grow.
All I can hope is that we'll all be able to live with my choice, and that it will have been the right one. If not, I just hope they can forgive me, for I know I'll never forgive myself.
Buffy had later told me that Willow had said that if you care about somebody you care about them. You can't change that.
It's true, and it was at that moment after hearing those words that I knew Willow would never be far from my thoughts.
And you know Darla was right when she said I loved her. The only thing was she didn't mean Buffy, she meant Willow.
I wondered how she knew at first, but I soon gave up. Darla always had a way of knowing what I felt.
But she was right. I did love her.
I loved Willow Ann Rosenberg.
The End