Re-Surfacing Feelings

Author: Emma

E-Mail: hells_trollop@yahoo.co.uk

Distribution: Angel of Mine, TNPWFLD, Fever of Fate, anyone else please ask first.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Angel, Willow and co. do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.

Feedback: Me + Feedback = Happy!!!

Summery: Angel's put his feelings for Willow behind him. Or had he?

Spoilers/Warnings: When She Was Bad

< > Indicates thoughts.

Authors Notes: Based around the episode 'When She Was Bad'. Part five in the Forbidden Love series.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

From the journal of Angelus Kiren O'Brian.

I thought I had put it behind me. That I had closed this particular chapter in my life and moved on.

I was wrong.

After the incident with the Master, Buffy had left for the summer to visit her father. She had said that she needed some time to herself after what had happened, and had left soon after.

The only problem was that with Buffy gone, so had my tie to Willow.

I knew I still shouldn't be thinking about her like I did, that I was now in a relationship with Buffy but no matter how hard I tried it didn't make any difference. You can't tell your heart what to feel after all can you.

Over the summer though, I had stayed away from the others, with almost no demon activity after the Master's death, there was no need for me to warn them of upcoming danger.

By the time Buffy had come back, I had convinced myself that I was over Willow, that my feelings we and had always been friendship. And that my true feeling were for Buffy.

But you can only live in denial so long before reality comes back and slaps you in the face.

Everything had been going perfect, Buffy was back, even if she had a new attitude, and I had a purpose again.

Then it happened. The plan to resurrect the Master.

I remember when we found out that Willow and the others had been taken, that they hadn't been after Buffy after all.

We had rushed to where they had been held, all of us relived to find then alive.

While Buffy had gone to face the vampires below, Xander and I had begun to rescue the others.

I still remember when I lowered Willow to the floor how all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, to feel her close to me so I knew she was okay. But Xander got there first.

I couldn't believe the jealously that had run through me at that moment, how I wanted to do nothing more than to take her away from him and keep her for myself. But then that damn vampire attacked me and we fell to the ground and fought.

After it was over, we had all gone to the library and talked, making sure everyone was okay.

I couldn't help but watch her the entire time. I'm sure someone must have noticed, but no one ever said anything.

I realize now after this that no matter how hard I try to put what I feel for Willow behind me, I will never fully succeed. It will continue to come out in force whenever I'm near her, or she's in danger.

I'm going to at least try to make what I have with Buffy work though, she deserves me to at least try.

The End

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