Distribution: Angel of Mine, TNPWFLD, Fever of Fate, Witch Fan Fic anyone else please ask first.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Angel, Willow and co. do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Emma + Feedback = Happy!!!
Summery: It all finally gets too much for Willow.
Spoilers/Warnings: Becoming. But after that I've totally screwed up the time line as Willow and Oz have slept together sometime during the summer.
< > Indicates thoughts.
Authors Notes: Part 8 of the Images, Dreams and Feelings Series.
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"Cordeila!" Willow screeched. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Walking home, you know from the library? The place you've been avoiding. Besides, I pass the mansion when I decide the take the long way home." Cordelia said. "But what I'd like to know is what you're doing here. I mean this is *not* on your way home. So why are you at the mansion Willow?"
"Um, I was just you know…um…" Willow stuttered, trying desperately to think up an excuse as to why she was there.
"Angel," Cordeila gasped suddenly in surprise. ,
"Wh...What?" Willow said, the colour draining from her face. "What about Angel?"
"What about Angel? Well seeing as you were walking up the path to the mansion, I thought you might be able to explain why he isn't currently in hell?"
Slowly Willow turned around, a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"Oh god…" Willow trailed off at seeing Angel's half clad form standing in the doorway, just out of the suns reach.
<God, what's he doing up? He should still be asleep. > Willow thought.
"I guess you'd better come in so I can explain." Willow replied why she had regained her voice.
"Your damn right!" Cordelia replied, already heading up the path.
Allowing Willow to walk ahead of her, she entered the house and closed the door behind her, as Willow hustled Angel elsewhere.
When she finally returned, Angel was nowhere to be found.
"Where'd Angel go?" she questioned.
"Um, I sent him to his room. He isn't exactly himself at the moment and I'm not sure how he'd react around other people yet."
"Oh." Cordelia said confused. "But he is Angel right? Not Angelus and all evil?"
"He's Angel." Willow answered.
"Oh good. So, do you want to tell me what this is all about? Like why Angel's back but you seem to be the only one that knows about it. And why Buffy doesn't know."
Nodding her head, they both took a seat on the couch and Willow took a deep breath.
She couldn't believe she was going to tell her, but it appeared she had little choice in the matter unless she wanted her to go straight to Buffy.
Besides, even if Cordelia wasn't the ideal person to tell, Willow was relived to finally be able to share her secret with someone. She just hoped her earlier thoughts were wrong and she could be trusted.
Taking a deep breath, she began to tell Cordelia everything.
"Okay, well, it all started about a month ago-"
"Angel's been back for a month?" Cordelia interrupted.
"What? No, if you'll listen I'll explain it to you."
Seeing Cordelia nod she started again.
"Like I said, it all started about a month ago. I started having these dreams…about Angel. At first I thought it was my guilt about not restoring his soul in time coming forward, but they kept coming, night after night…and they were so real, the things I saw."
"What did you see?" Cordelia asked.
"I...it starts with me in the hospital, I'm watching us performing the restoration spell, then it changes, and I'm here in the mansion, and I can see what happened that night. I can see Angel getting his soul back. And then the next thing I know Buffy stabs him and he gets sucked through the portal. I would try to warn him, but he would never hear. Then, I'm…I'm in what I could only describe as hell. I can here screams all around me, the cries of people as they are tortured. And the smell, it's…you…it's death, pure death. And it's so strong, you can't escape it…"
Willow trailed off, wiping the tear that had escaped with the corner of her sleeve. Surprised when Cordelia handed her a tissue.
"Thanks." She said wiping her eyes.
Taking a deep breath she continued.
"Anyway...so, I'm walking around in this place, and them I end up in Angel's room. It's strange. He's always alone, in this room…it's so quiet, but there's something about it. The look in Angel's eyes while he's there, it's horrible. He's covered with cuts and burns, marks covering his entire body from where he's been tortured…I saw that once. I tried to tell myself that it was only a dream, but I saw it in his eyes, it was real. The...the things they did to him, you couldn't imagine, I tried to wake myself up but I couldn't. I don't think I slept for days after, I never wanted to see that again. But the last time I had this dream, he suddenly disappeared…He was just gone. Then I woke up. And I knew. I don't know how but I just knew he was back…so I came to find him"
Willow stopped to gauge Cordelia's reaction, and was surprised when she saw that her face too was tear stained, Willow's words breaking through her carefully erected barriers.
"Willow, why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you, instead you kept it to yourself. And me, all I did was make fun of you the entire time because you looked like hell. I'm sorry." Cordelia said sincerely and leaned over to give Willow's hand a comforting squeeze. "I had no idea."
"Neither did I." A voice said from behind them.
Turning around, they saw Angel standing in the doorway, now fully dressed.
Walking over to them, he sat next to Willow and looked at her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Angel said, his voice still painfully horse.
"I...I didn't want to worry you. Besides, you were sick, and you needed me to take care of you. You still do."
"But all the things you saw. Willow you should have told someone." Cordelia added.
"No. I...I'm fine really…" Willow trailed off, as the tears she had been holding in for so long spilled down her cheeks.
Pulling her to him, Angel wrapped his arms around Willow, stroking her hair as she buried her head against his chest. After finally sharing what she had experienced with someone, she let her tears come freely, not attempting to hold them in, finally releasing at the emotions she had kept bottled up for so long.
Turning to Cordelia, Angel found her crying, sympathizing with what Willow was going through.
Seeing him look at her, she reassured him.
"I'm okay really, just take care of her."
Nodding his head he spoke, his voice barely audible.
"It's getting dark outside. There's a spare room if you want to stay the night I'd be safer than walking home."
Nodding her head, she wiped her eyes. "Thank you Angel."
Nodding his head Angel pointed to the room next to his and watched as Cordelia got up and headed to her room, already pulling her phone out her purse to let her parents know.
Once Cordelia had disappeared, Angel picked Willow up without protest form her and took her to his room.
Setting her down on the bed, he removed her shoes and socks and started to pull the covers over here when she stopped him and tried to get up, only to have him stop her.
"Angel, I've got to take care of you." She muttered, trying to put her resolve face on and failing.
"No Willow," Angel said as he pulled the covers over her and removed his shirt, joining her in the bed.
"It's my turn to take care of you now."
And with that, he pulled her onto his chest and held her as her tears subsided, until she finally fell to sleep.
The End