Author: Emma
E-Mail: hells_trollop@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: Angel of Mine, TPWFLD, anyone else please ask first.
Rating: I guess PG-13? It has one or two bad words. I'm sure you'll survive.
Disclaimer: Angel and Willow do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. Nor does Bryan Adam's song 'Everything I do.' No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Yes please!!!! I live for it. (Literally:)
Summery: Willow and Angel go on Jerry Springer!
< > Indicates thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Willow and Angel sat side by side on the stage of the Jerry Springer show. Willow glanced over at Angel nervously...not entirely sure this was a good idea. Angel squeezed Willow's hand and smiled reassuringly. He was about to say something when the show went on the air.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Jerry Springer show. I'm your host Jerry Springer!" Duh :)
"Tonight's show is about a couple who fell in love and want to tell their story. Why you may ask are we doing such a normal show? Well this is no ordinary couple. I'll tell you why after the break!"
-Cue boring adverts while Jerry takes a swig from a bottle of scotch.
"Welcome back! Okay I'd like to introduce you to Willow and Angel, they seem like an ordinary couple right? Wrong! In fact they claim that Angel is a vampire and Willow's a witch!"
The camera turned from Jerry to the crowd who were cheering and jeering at the same time.
"Okay you two. Why don't you tell us you 'story'." Jerry said.
"Um...okay." Angel started. "Well I was meant to get married to this bitc...girl named Buffy but at the last minute ditched her for Willow."
At this the crown stared booing.
"You don't understand! Buffy was nothing but a self-centered tramp that only thought of herself. It was then that I realized how much I loved Willow. She's so kind and generous, selfless...beautiful, so very, very beautiful..." Angel said drifting off, staring deep into Willows eyes.
"Oh Angel, I love you too."
"Ahhhh." The crowd said in unison wiping tears from their eyes.
-Cue evil hideous music. Something along the lines of the Teletubbies.
"Not so fast!" said a voice from the crowd.
"Who..who said that?" Jerry asked looking around.
"I did!" Buffy said as she made her way down to the stage with Xander in tow.
The crowd just gasped in shock as they made their way over to Willow and Angel. They looked a sight. Buffy had a bolt through her neck to hold her head on. While Xander was pieced together with super glue.
Um...what happened to you guys?" Jerry asked backing away from the stage.
"They killed us!" Xander shouted.
The audience sucked in a deep breath at this revelation.
"What...What are you doing here....alive?" Willow said finally forcing herself to speak.
"Well, we figured if Jenny and the Master could come back why couldn't we.." Buffy said with a smug smile on her face.
"Yeah!" Said Xander nodding his head like an idiot.
"Why?" said the crowd.
"Well, we know you two don't really love each other. That you love us instead. So we came to give you a second chance."
With that Xander got up and kissed Willow.
Willow sat there frozen for a moment not believing this was happening. <Yuck, Xander's kissing me! >
Willow stood up pushing him to the floor. "Ew, get off of me. Ugh as if!"
As Xander fell to the floor he looked up at Willow shocked. Finally hitting the ground he smashed back into hundred pieces.
Looking down at him Willow shrugged and started jumping up and down on him, squishing him into the carpet.
Feeling left out, Angel grabbed Buffy and sank his fangs into her. Buffy looked up at Angel with clueless eyes as the life drained out of her.
Willow had just finished jumping on Xander when she turned to Angel. He dropped Buffy to the ground causing her head to fall off...again.
"I always said if her head wasn't screwed on properly it'd fall off." Angel said. Shrugging his shoulders he walked over to Willow.
"Willow, I do love you. You know that right?" Angel said looking down at Willow with loving eyes.
"Of course I do. I'm just glad Buffy and Xander are gone for good." Willow said falling into Angel's arms.
"Me too." Angel said. With that he leaned down to Willow and kissed her.
"Ahhhh. Isn't that sweet." Jerry said re-appearing from the spot he'd hid in earlier.
"There's only one thing we can do at a time like this." Jerry said. "Cue the Robin Hood music."
All of a sudden a happy little tune came out over the speakers. Everyone looked around confused.
"No..No. Not that music. The *other* one." Jerry said.
Just then Bryan Adam's 'Everything I do' came out over the speakers.
Everyone sighed happily and looked over to Willow and Angel, still kissing on the middle of the stage.
-The camera panned out just as balloons and streamers came fluttering down from above. Why? Who knows but it looked good.
THE END!