Author: Emma
E-Mail: hells_trollop@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: Angel of Mine, TPWFLD, anyone else please ask first.
Rating: I guess PG-13? It has one or two bad words and some violence. I'm sure you'll survive.
Disclaimer: Angel, Willow and co do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. Nor does the Telliytubies, Ed the Duck, Gordon the Gopher or Mr. Blooby. They all belong to the BBC. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Yes please!!!! I live for it. (Literally:)
Summery: Willow tortures Xander.
< > Indicates thoughts.
( ) Indicates my comments.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander walked slowly down the darkened street, oblivious to the fact that it was extremely stupid to do so. Not that it was all that surprising, this was Xander after all.
Slowly a figure emerged from a conveniently placed allay and crept up behind Xander. Slowly the figure raised its arm and tapped Xander on the shoulder. He spun around and was promptly knocked out by someone smashing their fist into his face.
Looking down at the unmoving form of Xander on the floor the stranger looked up shaking their head. "What an idiot."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander slowly awoke to find himself alone in what appeared to be a torture room. It was obviously that as the room had pictures of the Teletubbies Mr. Blooby, Gordon the Gopher and Ed the Duck covering the walls.
Getting up he walked around the room, trying to find a way out. *Finally* deciding to try the door he was shocked to find it locked.
He had just sat back on the bed when the door opened to reveal his attacker.
"Willow!What are you doing here? Did they get you too?"
"No! I'm the one who brought you here. Oh and did you *really* think the door would be open, god what a moron!" Willow said as if talking to a 2 year old. Which in theory she was.
"What! Why?" Xander said, "I'm confused."
"Well, let's face it. That's not too hard." Willow said. "And as for why, I'm going to torture you."
"Wha...what?" Xander said worriedly. "Are you going to kill me?"
Willow looked thoughtful for a moment. "Ummmmm...yep!"
At this Xander wet his trousers and started crying in a corner.
"I'll be back soon, but for now sit back and enjoy the music." And, with a wicked grin on her face, Willow left the room.
After Willow had gone Xander sighed in relief.
<At least there's music. > Xander thought. He soon changed his mind however, for at that moment his worst nightmare came true. You guessed it. That bloody song from the Titanic came on over the speakers.
Xander looked up horrified and did the only thing he could. He screamed.
"Noooooooooooo!!!!!!! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!"
Willow moved away from the door satisfied and headed into her 'equipment' room with a cruel smile on her face.
-1 hour and 13 3/4 plays of 'the song' later.
Willow re-entered the room and placed a box on the bed. She then walked over and turned off the music.
(Yes, the stereo was in the room with Xander the whole time:)
Looking over at Xander huddled in a corner Willow smirked, satisfied at the sight.
Motioning to the guard that had materialized, Willow ordered that he be tied to the lone metal chair in the room.
Walking over to him Willow forced his head up to look at him. Clucking her tongue she said.
"Tsk tsk tsk. You've been stirring up trouble again. Making people ill, breaking their computers. What am I to do?"
Xander, foolish enough to answer said, "um...let me go?"
Willow pulled away and slapped Xander hard across his face. "No you idiot! It was a rhetorical question!"
Tiring of being anywhere near Xander, no matter the cause, she stood up and retrieved several objects from the box. Leaning over Xander she said a quick spell to freeze his face and started applying make-up to it.
(Yes, I know liquid nitrogen works just as well but we'll get to that later ;)
Willow quickly finished applying the make-up and walked back to the box. Pulling out a Polaroid camera she started taking pictures.
"You may :snap: be wondering :snap: why :snap: I'm doing this. Well you see :snap: what better way :snap: to capture the moment :snap: than on film."
Finishing off, Willow collected the photos and carefully placed then in the box along with the camera.
"Now," Willow said rubbing her hand's together, "comes the fun part....though not for you."
Willow then pulled out a mini bottle of liquid nitrogen and proceeded to freeze a 'certain' part of his anatomy.
Xander looked at Willow shocked and scared shitless. He tried to free himself or scream for help but he was securely bound and he was still unable to move his face.
Willow finished her job and looked up at Xander with a truly evil look on her face. All of a sudden she kicked him between his legs and watched in glee as his most treasured...and under used possession fell to the ground and smashed into a thousand pieces.
Quickly pulling the camera out of nowhere she took a quick snapshot of the priceless look on his face and walked over to the wall and removed one of the posters. Behind it was a secret generator with wires hanging from it. Pulling one end of the wires out into the room Willow proceeded to tie them to Xander's chair.
Ignoring the look of fear and panic on his face Willow walked back to the generator and looking at Xander said.
"Well, as fun as this is, I'm going to kill you now. Forever Knight's on and I don't wanna miss it."
With that she pulled the handle down and once again started taking pictures as Xander shook about in his chair, smoking slightly.
Finally after several minutes, and Xander being turned into well done crispy bacon, Willow pulled the handle back up.
Walking back to the bed she picked up the box, now filled with pictures, and left the room.
<Angel's going to love these. > Willow though looking at the photos as she headed down the hall. <I wonder how he's doing with Buffy? >
THE END!
(Note- I do like
Celine Dion but if I read *one* more fic with Buffy and Angel dancing to
it, or :shudder: Buffy singing it to Angel I'm going to throw up!)