Summary: Angel becomes obsessed with Willow upon his return from hell. As his obsession grows, he and Willow begin a twisted relationship ... (I'll come up with something better as the story progresses.)
Rating: Hard R to NC-17 for some potty-mouth language, violence, and sexual content.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and seek no profit from this story. It's just a hobby.
Distribution: my group, nha, wls/ba, sog, aff.net, vampyre haven, bite me, and soulmates. As always, ask me before you take it for your site.
Warnings: Dark Fic, includes stalking and sexual harassment. Spoilers for Seasons 1-3 of Buffy. Specifically the episode Amends.
Feedback: Yes, please. Especially with this fic ... it's so different from anything else I've written, and I really want to know what you think.
A/N: I have manipulated the season three storyline to my liking. It's canon up thru Beauty and the Beasts, then AU from there. Also, I'm going to be alternating between posting this and The Ugly Duckling. My goal is to post at least one part for each story every week. But, I'd really like to be able to post two parts each ... we'll have to wait and see, though.
Dedication: To the ever patient and fantastic Gabrielle. This is an answer to a challenge that she issued on the NHA forums. You can read the challenge specs here: http://forums.nearheralways.com/viewtopic.php?t=99
Thanks to Sophia and LaDy SiN for the beta.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
The time was right and everything was in place. The chanting continued, the energies grew, the smell of fire and brimstone filled the air. The spell-casters glanced at each other -- the ritual was working. They would not fail. They knew they had to hurry, their lives were in danger. They were breaking rules, important rules, but this had to be done. The tables were no longer even, the balance between good and evil now unset. The Champion had to be returned. The world, they realized, was doomed if they failed.
Across town the blonde Slayer left the mansion on Crawford Street, her business done, her good-byes said. She missed feeling the presence of pure hatred, of Evil incarnate, fill the house behind her. She did not witness the changes in the room when the air itself seemed to come alive. She did not see the portal open above the floor just long enough to allow the body to fall, burning its image onto the floor. The Slayer missed seeing the vampire with a soul return from hell.
She also missed hearing Evil howl in outrage that the Champion had been returned. She did not feel the cry of rage that filled the mansion as a shockwave of energy. And, because she was so far away, she did not hear the anguished cries of the spell-casters who brought the Champion forth. She did not witness their murders at the hands of the harbingers of death.
The Slayer went on about her day, blissfully unaware that anything out of the ordinary had occurred. And the Champion slept in a broken heap on the cold, hard floor of his abandoned home.
(Three days later)
It had, Angel decided, been a very strange few days. He knew nothing of why he was returned, of how he had been removed from hell -- he knew only that he was back in Sunnydale, and that it had only been a few months since his soul was restored. The Slayer had found him, naked and wild, running in the dark searching for food only two days before. Angel assumed that it had been her who chained him up ... he really didn't remember much.
But he had known she needed his help tonight. Somehow, the connection that he still shared with the blond Slayer had alerted him to her need. And knowing she needed him ... he had forced himself to snap out of the foggy stupor he'd been in and rush to her aid. He had killed the creature at the school; he had saved Buffy.
Now, as they walked, she babbled on endlessly about how glad she was
that he was back -- how glad she was that he had come to the school and
saved her. As
Buffy and Angel walked quietly to the Crawford Street mansion, he caught
the Slayer openly staring at him several times on their trek and repeatedly
asked her if she was okay. Buffy just nodded each time and kept walking,
continuing once again to babble on and on about one thing or another. Angel
let them into the house and they sat down on the dusty sofa in the sitting
room. Angel looked at Buffy and tried to smile. It was time for him to
join the conversation. "It's good to see you."
Buffy nodded. "You too. Are you okay?"
Angel shrugged. "I'm here. It's different."
"How are you here, Angel? I watched you get sucked into hell..."
"I don't know, Buffy. I don't know how I'm back here. I don't know what happened. I just woke up on the floor, naked and cold." Angel said.
"What do you remember?" she asked.
Angel was quiet for several minutes, gathering his thoughts. "I remember your birthday, remember making love to you..." his voice trailed off. "What happened after that, Buffy? Why did he come back?"
Buffy's eyes filled with tears. "You were happy. Giles called it a happiness-clause. The curse is only good, only working, if you're not happy."
Angel stared at her. "I lost my soul because you and I had sex?"
"You were happy." Buffy said, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I remember some -- most -- of what he did. God, Buffy, I'm so sorry."
Buffy nodded. "It wasn't you."
"How did ... why do I have my soul now?"
"Willow. She performed the gypsy spell."
"She cursed me again?"
"You can say that, I guess," Buffy answered, the hostile tone he'd used taking her by surprise.
"What gave her the right..."
"Angel! Willow did what she had to do, we all did. Angelus was trying to end the world!" Buffy said harshly.
Angel closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit on edge right now."
"It's okay." Buffy said.
"Why didn't you just kill me? Dust me or cut off my head? Why'd you stab me with that sword?"
"Your blood opened the portal, Angel. Your blood was needed to close it. I'm sorry."
Angel stared at her in disbelief. "You're sorry? Sorry? You have no idea what it was like! I was in hell, Buffy! For over a three hundred years I was tortured, burned, beaten..."
Buffy was sobbing now. "I know! Angel, I know! I saw it all in my dreams!"
"You have no idea."
"Angel..."
"You should have killed him, killed me, long before that day, Buffy."
"I loved you."
"And that was our biggest mistake." Angel stated coldly.
"Angel, no, we-"
"No, Buffy. I'm a monster. You're the Slayer. Slay me."
"What?" Buffy asked, shocked.
"Slay me, Buffy! I don't deserve to live after what I've done."
Buffy shook her head. "Angel, no. You're not thinking straight. Too much has happened to you ... tomorrow, we'll go see Giles and see if he has any idea what's going on. Angel, you're back for a reason! You're supposed to be here. Why else would you be back?"
Angel was silent. Buffy took his hand in hers. "It'll be okay, Angel. You'll see."
"You should go home, Buffy. I'm not good company right now."
She nodded and got up. "You'll come with me to see Giles? I'll tell him you're back tomorrow morning. We can go talk to him tomorrow after sunset?"
Angel nodded. Buffy stopped, her hand on the doorknob. "I'm glad you're home, Angel."
"Bye, Buffy," he said as she walked out of the door.
He sat on the couch for a long time, thinking over what Buffy had told him. His mind was almost completely clear now, though he could still smell the brimstone he'd become accustomed to in hell. He wondered if he'd always be able to smell it. Shaking his head, Angel got up and moved to the kitchen. There was no blood in the refrigerator. He growled, his hunger growing. He realized then that, despite his early efforts to find food, he had not eaten since his return. Buffy had put a stop to that. His body and mind weakened, his demon easily took control. He turned and walked from the kitchen to the living room, then out of the house. He needed to feed.
Angel stalked into Willie's, game face on, and sat down at the bar. He growled low in his throat causing the demons on either side of him to look at him warily. Willie cleared his throat. "What'll it be?"
"Blood." Angel stated.
"What's your flavor?" the barkeep asked.
Angel turned amber eyes onto the man. "Human. Now."
Willie nodded and handed him a glass of warm blood. Angel gulped it down and handed it back for more. Willie asked no questions and refilled the glass without hesitation. After three glasses, Angel's hunger quelled, the vampire's soul regained some control. "I'll take whatever you've got bagged. All of it."
Willie nodded. "Sure thing, man. Whatever you need."
Angel left the demon bar thirty minutes and one more glass of blood later. He had a cooler of bagged blood which he thought would last him a few days at least. The blood was human, so his recovery time would be even quicker. He knew that he made an easy target in his current state, despite the rage that radiated from him. He hurried back to the mansion. He was in no condition to fight unless absolutely necessary.
Upon his return to his home, sleep found him quickly. He slept fitfully, his dreams plagued with visions of both hell and the things Angelus had done during his time in Sunnydale. His dreams shifted to reveal the faces of the Scooby gang, showing him what they had done and accomplished since his departure in May. One face appeared more than any other. Willow. His dreams showed him what she had done, the curse she'd performed. He watched repeatedly as she sentenced him to hell with his soul intact.
***
The next day, Buffy walked quietly into the library before school. "Giles?" she called.
"Buffy? You're here early," Giles said, looking at his watch. "Very early. It's only seven!"
She nodded. "I knew you'd be here. We need to talk."
"What's happened?"
"Angel's back."
Giles' eyes widened. "Excuse me?"
Buffy pointed to the table and the two of them sat down. "I found him four days ago... I know I should have told you then, but I wasn't sure how he was ... he was like an animal at first."
Giles sighed. "Well, this explains why you were asking those questions about hell."
Buffy nodded. "Sorry for not telling you. I just had to be sure he wasn't dangerous."
"Of course. And, how is he?"
"I don't know. He doesn't know, either. But he is Angel, no Angelus in sight."
"That's something at least."
"Yeah. Giles, something brought him out of hell. We need to figure out what."
Giles nodded. "Yes, and why he was returned."
Buffy lowered her head suddenly. "I'm sorry."
Giles, very surprised at the guilt suddenly flooding her voice, asked, "For what?"
"Angel wears the face of the vampire who tortured you ... who killed Miss Calendar."
Giles closed his eyes, Jenny's face filling his mind. He nodded at Buffy. "Yes, he did. He is also the vampire who you fell in love with, who you still love. Buffy, this is going to be hard on all of us. I know you probably expected me to demand that you stake him. Believe me, I would like nothing more, but the fact remains that Angel has been taken out of hell and returned here. That sort of thing must not be left unchecked."
"So, we look into why he's back, how he got here, and watch him real close." Buffy said.
"Yes, and at the first sign of trouble..."
"I stake his ass."
Giles rolled his eyes. "His heart would prove more effective."
"You're no fun."
***
Angel stared at the ceiling. He kept going over what Buffy had told him in his mind. The events of that day played out in his head, his imagination filling in the scenes he'd not been party to. He saw the minion walk into the classroom, dying as she gave the Slayer Angelus' message. He saw them all sitting around that table in the library discussing, planning, researching, waiting while Buffy left to confront her former lover. He saw the other Slayer, Kendra, as she realized they'd been set up, Spike and Druscilla entering the Scoobies inner-sanctum with the minions. He relived the fight with Buffy and saw the look on her face when she finally understood that she'd fallen for his trap. He remembered torturing Giles, trying for hours to get the information he needed. He felt the rage and frustration that Angelus had felt when he could not break the Watcher. But, it was what had been happening while he and Buffy fought their final fight that occupied his thoughts the most. Willow had, from her hospital bed, restored his soul.
Angel knew that he should feel thankful. In fact, he knew that he should feel the need to throw gifts of gratitude at the witch's feet, but he didn't. He did not see Willow restoring his soul as an act of kindness. His soul had been a burden in hell. It had acted as a weakness that had been exploited upon every opportunity. He had suffered more because of it. And why? Because Willow had thrust it back into his undead body, caging the demon once more. Because Willow had decided to play God.
"She did it on purpose."
Angel sat up suddenly and looked around for the owner of the voice. It sounded familiar.
"It was punishment."
Angel looked towards the door. Jenny Calendar walked into his bedroom. "You killed me. You killed her friends. She was punishing you."
He shook his head. "It wasn't me."
Jenny laughed. "Oh, Angel, you and I both know that it was you. Your soul doesn't tame the demon ... just mutes it a little. Willow knows that, too."
"No." Angel insisted.
"She punished you, Angelus."
A growl filled the room, Angel's demon visage emerging. "I am not Angelus!" he shouted.
She laughed again. "Oh, really? I guess looks really can be deceiving, demon."
Angel stared after her as her laughing form walked out of the room.
He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Still, though, the ghost
woman's voice rang in his head. 'She punished you. She punished you. She
punished you.'
Snarling, Angel leapt from the bed and tore through the mansion breaking
everything in his path. His outraged cry could be heard for miles, and
the Evil that had inhabited Jenny Calendar's form laughed.
***
It was shortly after sundown when Willow walked into the library with a smile on her face. She hadn't been around much in the past few days and was eager to get back into research mode. "Hello Buffy, Giles!" she called cheerfully, walking towards the research table.
"Willow."
She stopped walking, memories attacking her mind. She remembered that night, the one that seemed so long ago, the one when Angelus had tried to kidnap her, wanted to kill her. The voice behind her, calling her name, was the same. She began to shake. Angelus was back, and he was standing right behind her.
"Will?" Buffy asked. "Angel, what's going on?"
"Oh, god!" Willow cried as she turned around. "Angel?"
He nodded and walked past her towards the table. Willow turned again and followed him with wide, shocked eyes. She looked at Buffy, then at Giles, and back to Buffy. "What? How? Why? Huh?" she managed as she slowly sunk to the floor.
Buffy stared at Willow for a moment, confused. Then, it hit her. "Oh, Willow... I'm so sorry. I thought I told you."
"Obviously not." Willow said from the floor, her head between her knees. "'Cause if ya had I would have known that it wasn't Angelus behind me wanting to kill me, and that Angel is back among us and not in hell, now wouldn't I have?"
Buffy blinked. "Are you mad?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "No, Buffy. Just shocked. Wanna tell me now?"
Buffy nodded as Willow got off the floor. "Angel was in hell. He's not now. We're trying to find out why."
"Oh, okay. Does Xander know? Because this is the sort of thing you should tell your friends, Buff. Especially the ones who might get a little bit nervous around Angel because the last time they saw him he was trying to kill them. Sorry, Angel, no offense. But it's true. I mean, hey! People, or vampires in this case, don't just come back from hell everyday, now do they?"
Willow finished her rant and walked over to the table, leaving Buffy staring after her. "Will? I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay? I've had a lot on my mind. And no, come to think of it, Xander doesn't know either."
"You should go find him, then. He needs to know before he comes in here, Buffy. He's not going to take this well."
The Slayer nodded and left the library. Willow looked at Giles and he smiled at her. "So, Giles, what are we researching?"
"Angel's return. We thought it best to start with how he got back."
Willow nodded. "And whatever was powerful enough to jerk him out of hell."
"Yes, quite right."
"Can we not talk about me as though I'm not here?" Angel asked, suddenly.
Willow paled at the hostility in his voice. "Sure, Angel," she managed. "Sorry. Um ... welcome back."
He gave a slight nod before grabbing another book and beginning to read. Giles did the same. Willow shrugged and went over to the computer. "I'll see what I can turn up on the 'net."
"Wonderful idea, Willow." Giles mumbled.
Willow began with a basic search for the word hell. As the websites compiled, she thought about the odd way she'd reacted when Angel said her name. 'Why did I assume it was Angelus?' she thought.
The reason, she realized, was that his voice had been cold, hard, and it had sent shivers up her spine. He had not sounded like Angel. His inflection had not been had the soft, quiet undertones she'd come to associate with Angel. No, when he'd said her name, he had sounded angry; he had sounded exactly like his evil counterpart. The one who had wanted her dead.
Willow shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She turned to ask Giles a question and stopped short, her mouth falling open. Angel was staring right at her. Though, glaring might be a better word for it. Willow swallowed hard, her nervousness shining through her eyes. Angel smirked at her, his gaze never faltering. Without saying a word, her question forgotten, Willow turned back to the computer. She worked in silence, never turning around. She knew that if she did, Angel would still be staring at her. And the look in his eyes scared her.
***
It had been a month since Angel had been returned to Sunnydale and they were no closer to figuring out how it had happened. They researched every possible lead they could find, but life on the Hellmouth did not stop because they had a mystery to unravel. Demons came and went, the threat they presented neutralized by the Slayer and her merry band of friends. Research into Angel's return was slowly pushed aside in favor of the demon of the week, or sometimes just homework, and the vampire in question found himself once again fighting beside the Slayer.
It was after such a fight that Angel found himself standing on Willow's balcony outside her room. He knocked cautiously on the door and waited. She opened it, cross in hand, and gasped when she saw him. "Can I come in, Willow?" he found himself asking.
She shook her head. "I don't think so, Angel."
"Don't you trust me, Little One?"
Willow hesitated, then gripped the cross tighter. "Why don't I come outside?"
Angel nodded his agreement and moved aside so she could exit the house. He didn't fail to notice that she'd brought the cross with her. "Do I make you nervous, Willow?"
Willow laughed, the dry sound filling the night air. "That's a funny question, Angel! Why on earth would you make me nervous?"
Her sarcastic reply left Angel speechless for a minute. He sat down in a chair to his right. Looking up at Willow, he tried to smile. "Why don't you tell me."
Willow sat in a chair across from him. "Tell you what? Why you make me nervous? Okay. Since you've gotten back, you've been all weird around me. I'll catch you staring at me, and following me, and let's not forget how you can always make me want to run and hide just by saying my name." Willow said, surprising them both by not stammering once.
"I do all of that?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Like you didn't know."
"How long have you been a witch?" Angel asked suddenly.
"W-what?" Willow asked, her stammer returning as her nervousness grew.
"You heard me."
Willow blinked. "The first spell I ever did was the one to give you your soul back."
"Why did you do it?"
"Angel ... you know why. Angelus w-was going to end the world. We all thought that if you h-had your soul back, everything would be okay."
"Everyone thought that? Even Xander?"
Willow lowered her head. "You know he didn't."
"That's right, Willow. I know he didn't. I know Xander wanted me dead. He always has, ever since he knew I was a vampire. The boy hates me. And you ... you know that, too."
"Angel..."
"You sent him to tell Buffy that you were doing the curse."
"Y-yes."
"Xander. The person who hates me, who wants me dead. You sent him to Buffy."
"Yes."
"And you thought he would tell her?"
Willow's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know. I should have realized, y-you're right."
"Yes, you should have."
Willow looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I couldn't get it done sooner. I'm sorry that Buffy had t-to send you to hell."
"I don't care." Angel said, his voice cold. "You should never have cursed me, Willow. You knew that Xander wouldn't tell Buffy and that she would have to kill me, yet you cursed me anyway!"
"Angel, I-"
"Shut up! You cursed me, witch! You sent me to hell with my soul!"
Willow let a broken sob spill over her lips. "I'm sorry!"
"It's all your fault!" Angel growled.
Willow jumped as he swung his hand across the top of the patio table in front of them, sweeping everything on top of it to the ground with a crash. Fear flooded through her as she jumped up and ran back into her room, slamming and locking the doors behind her. Angel stood and stared after her, shocked at her departure. He heard her sobs and the words he'd said came back to him. "What have I done?" he asked quietly to her closed door.
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