~Part 1~

Fear,

Fear attracts the fearful

The strong,

The weak,

The innocent,

The corrupt,

Fear

Fear is my ally.
 

Tara walked into her bedroom surprised to see Willow tossing in her sleep. She had never seen her girlfriend so scared. Tara moved slowly over to the bed and shook Willow gently to wake her up. Willow jumped up in a start her eyes glowing black and pushed Tara across the room.

“She will be mine!” Willow screamed in a voice not her own before falling back into the bed.

Buffy ran into the room wondering what was going on. She had heard the bump and then the voice and was worried for both her friends’ lives. Looking around the room she saw a dent in the wall and below it Tara slumped on the floor, blood coming from her head.

“Oh my God!” Dawn gasped from the hallway.

“Dawn call an ambulance, and get Giles.” Buffy instructed. Dawn ran down the stairs and soon after Giles came up and ran into the room.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I don’t know… I heard a voice and it wasn’t either one of them… I think something broke in.”

“From where? I don’t see any opened windows. And where did it go?”

“It could still be in the house. Get Dawn and take her to Spike, I don’t want it to do anything to her.”

“What about Willow?”

“There are some bruises on her neck, but I don’t see anything else.”

Buffy turned her head as she heard sirens in the distance. “Take Dawn now, I’ll make sure everything is alright here.”

Willow awoke to the sounds of beeping; she jumped up in bed and looked around the room. She was in a hospital room, and she wasn’t alone.
 

~Part 2~

It will be a hard life

One without reward,

Without remorse,

Without regret,

A path will be placed before you

The choice is yours alone

Do what you think you cannot do

It will be a hard life

But you will find out…
 
 

Who you are.
 
 

 “Who are you?” Willow asked with a shaky voice.

The figure walked out from the shadows. It was a woman in her mid forties; she had dark red hair, a small nose, thin lips and pale skin. Her eyes were black, as were her clothes and nail polish, if in fact it even was nail polish.

“Who am I?” She said in a deep voice. “I am your savior, I have felt you for some time now. Using your little magicks, helping your little friends. You are so much than they are you have so much power and no idea how to use it. You think raising your friend was something big. You have no idea what you can do with your power. I can teach you everything you need to know.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“All in good time, I will come back later. Your friends are here and they don’t have good news.”

The woman walked back into the shadows and disappeared just as Buffy, Xander and Giles walked in.

“You’re up!” Xander said happily, giving her a hug.

“Yeah, it seems so. How long was I out and what happened?”

“Three months.” Giles answered.

“Boy that’s a long time. Where is Tara?” It was then that Willow noticed the somber looks on their faces. “What do you have to tell me?”

Buffy walked over to her bed and sat down. She took Willows hand and looked her in the eyes. “The night that you were attacked Tara was hurt. She was knocked into a wall and hit her head. The doctors said that she sustained too much injury. She’s in a coma, and they say she’s not going to wake up.”

Willow shook her head, “I wasn’t attacked.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t attacked, I remember having a nightmare but I wasn’t attacked… there was a woman in here before you came in. She said she wanted to teach me magick.”

Giles stepped closer to the bed, “What did she look like?”

“Tall, pale, red hair, black everything.” Willow said thinking back.

“Did she say anything else, something about who she was?”

Willow was cut off by an attractive, young doctor stepping in the room. “You're up, that’s good. I was just coming in to check your vitals.” He walked over to Willow and touched her wrist. “I'm Doctor Ryan Jacobs, I've been your physician these past months.” He took out his stethoscope, “Looks like everything is fine. I'm going to examine you some more later, and have a psychiatrist come in. Things may be a little disoriented right now so he’ll check you out and tell us if it is okay to let you go home.”

Willow nodded.

“Is there anything you can tell me about what happened?”

“Not really, I was sleeping and I woke up here.”

“Okay, we’ll maybe you would like to get up and walk a little. I’ll have the nurse bring in a walker. We need to make sure you’re muscles are still working.” The doctor turned to leave. “See you later Buffy.”

Buffy smiled and waved goodbye.

“So what’s up between you and the doctor?”
 

Three days later

Willow walked down he dark streets of Sunnydale. Things were hard for her and not having Tara around made it worse. But she could deal with it like she dealt with everything else. Like she did with Ms. Calandar, with Joyce, with Jesse and Oz. Things got easier with time and she felt that she had a lot of it. Longer than all of her friends. Willow turned a corner and almost bumped into to someone. Someone she recognized from the hospital.

“I was wondering when you would come for me.”

“I couldn’t let myself be seen. Are you ready?” The woman said.

“Yes but before I go tell me, did you do that to Tara?”

“No my child, you did.”
 

~Part 3~

It will be a hard life

One without reward,

Without remorse,

Without regret,

A path will be placed before you

The choice is yours alone

Do what you think you cannot do

It will be a hard life

But you will find out…
 
 

Who you are.
 

“Has anyone seen Willow?” Buffy asked storming into the magick shop.

“No, not today. Why?” Anya questioned.

“She didn’t come home last night and she didn’t meet me for lunch today. Something is wrong.”

Giles placed a hand on her shoulder, “Lets not panic, did she say anything to you last night, anything odd?”

“No she said she was leaving.”

Anya spoke up, “Did she say she was leaving exactly or that she was going out?”

“She said ‘Buffy I'm leaving, see you later’… you don’t think she actually left, do you?”

“What about that woman who wanted to teach her?”

Giles groaned, “I honestly don’t know, before the coma she was acting different. One moment she would be fine and the next… aggressive. I think the magic could have gotten to her.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked.

Giles was about to answer when Anya cut in, “What he means is that when you use powerful magick too much your body stats to absorb some of the negative energy as well as the good. But some magick, like for instance bringing you back and restoring a soul fills you with negatives because of what the spells are for.”

“Buffy, Anya’s right we have no idea the affect the spells have had on her. We will just have to wait and see.”

*** *** ***

“Where are we?” Willow asked looking around her.

“In a warehouse just outside of LA.” The woman looked closely at Willow, “Don’t even think about it, he is your first lesson.”

“I wasn’t thinking about him, and is this really a warehouse? It looks like a mansion.” She replied taking in her posh surroundings. The walls were cream colored and all the furniture was beige. It looked somewhat like Glory’s living room.

“Don’t lie to me child, I know all your secret desires. Anyway some people don’t know how to live right. Your room is upstairs the second door on the right. The first room next to yours is mine and all the other rooms are training areas. I'm going out for a bit, go exploring while I'm gone, you can even go into my room if you wish.”

“Where are you going?”

“To collect some things for your lesson. Do not worry I would never harm you. By the way my name is Sadra.”

A few minutes later Willow was in ‘her’ room. She had a canopy bed with dark red sheets and covers and the walls were painted cream. There was a computer sitting on a desk in the far left corner and two dressers, which upon inspection held clothes in Willow’s size. The walk in closet held clothing as well as lots of shoes, a few coats and black cloaks.

Willow ran over to the bed and fell into it, loving the way the silk sheets felt upon her skin.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? I always wondered how you would look laying in a bed of satin.”

Willow jumped up and looked around the room. She could have sworn she heard Angel… not Angel there was a hint of treacherousness to his voice.

Angelus.

Willow laid back into the bed a few moments before getting back up and walking to the closet. She took out a pair of black boots, a short black dress and one of the cloaks. She quickly stripped off her own clothes and replaced then with the new ones. After checking herself in the mirror she ran down the stairs and out the door.
 

~Part 4~

What if dreams came true?

And you could be who you wanted to be

You could do what you wanted to do

And you could help who you wanted to help

What if dreams came true?

And the world opened up

And you were never afraid

What if dreams came true?

But dreams do come true,
 
 

Don’t they?
 

Angel walked down the street, he was tired and lonely. After his talk with Buffy he knew they could never be together. She was his past and he had to look for his future. He could admit he was a little jealous of Spike, she could confide in Spike, and tell Spike things she could never tell him. Angel was a lot more jealous then he could admit to himself. But how could Willow do that? She didn’t even tell him about it, he could have helped… or tied her up so she didn’t put herself in danger like that.

But she did do it, and succeeded at it. How strong was she? How could she do what no one else he knew could? Angel could admit to himself he always wondered about her. About how it would feel to have her underneath him, touching her warm skin, and feeling her touch him. Angelus even wanted to take it from her, but she solved that problem before he could. He couldn’t bear to think about the things his other self would have done to her had he succeed in sucking the world into hell.

Angel was pulled from his thoughts by a flash of red under a cloak. He watched the figure walk down the street and into a bar. The person reminded him of Willow and he had no idea why he started to follow. He walked into the smoky bar and looked around until he finally spotted the woman. She was sitting in a booth with her back to him, he could swear she sounded like her, even smelled like her. As she turned her head to look around, Angel saw it was her.

“Willow?” Angel asked if he was unsure.

Willow froze as she saw who was standing behind her. She knew she shouldn’t have went out, but she wanted to get out of there. “Angel,” she started but couldn’t finish. His eyes were burning into her and he wouldn’t turn away.

“Willow, why are you here? Buffy and Giles are so worried.” He said trying to change his thoughts.

“I need to get away, I can’t face them after what happened.” She explained.

Angel walked the rest of the way to her and sat down. “It’s not your fault, someone attacked you, you can move on.”

“You don’t understand… I did that to her.”

Angel jumped back and tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t. Did she really say that? No, not Willow she couldn’t possibly do that to someone. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, but I know it was me that did it. I was having a nightmare and it was so real. I don’t know what happened Angel but I know I did it.”

“Come with me to the hotel, we don’t have to tell any of them where you are. I’ll have Wesley and Cordy keep quiet.”

“No, I’m not here for that. Leave me alone Angel, if you see me again… just let me pass.” Willow stood up and walked out the door leaving Angel behind in a daze.

Willow hailed a cab and started back to the warehouse, trying to forget what had happened.

Once Willow was back inside she ran up to her room. She started to pull off her clothes when she realized she wasn’t alone.

“Where did you go?” Sadra asked standing by the bed.

“Out for a walk.” Willow continued to undress. After she finished she out on a loose fitting nightgown.

“You saw him didn’t you? And don’t lie, I know your thoughts.”

“How can I ever learn anything when you keep reading my mind. I like to keep things inside. Yes I saw him, and I didn’t tell him anything.”

“You told him about the girl, he’ll be back. You know how he is, always trying to help someone. Just like Ripper, I might add.”

Willow turned around, “You know Giles?”

“I knew him, Ethan, Christine, and all the others. I was their teacher as well. They don’t have half the power you possess. You passed your first test, I'm very proud of you.”

“How?”

“You didn’t go, you didn’t run from what you are. It took a lot considering your feelings for him. Get some sleep, we’ll start you training in the morning.” Sadra pulled Willow to the bed and covered her up. “Don’t let the demons interrupt your sleep.” She then walked to the door turning off the lights after she left.

Willow turned over in the bed and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep almost immediately.
 

~Part 5~

She was running through a street. It was night and there was nowhere to turn. Willow tried to turn a corner but her follower stopped her, grabbing her arms and pulling her to him.

“You can never escape me, we are meant to be.” He said, his voice raw.

“I got rid of you, you're not supposed to be here.”

“You can never get rid of what you are. Did you really think a vampire can live without his demon? Angel lives everyday with the bloodlust and the urge to kill everyone around him. It doesn’t take one moment of happiness to bring me out. Just ask Darla.”

“What do you mean by that?” Willow asked, as Angelus turned away. “Answer me!”

“Some other time.” He walked into the shadows, Willow started after him.

“Answer me!” Willow jumped up in bed and looked around her. There was no one in the room but she could still smell the stink of the alleyway. “That was a weird dream.” She said to herself.

Willow pulled herself from the covers and went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She felt even more tired than when she had went to sleep. As she stepped into the shower her bathroom door opened and Sadra walked in.

“Sleep well last night?”

Willow snorted, “You know as well as I do how I slept last night.”

“Such an attitude, and no I don’t know how you slept last night.” Sadra pulled a towel out of the linen closet and placed it on the counter.

“I dreamt of *him*”

“The evil him, was it… entertaining?”

“No, it wasn’t. I think he was trying to tell me something about Angel.”

“Dreams always tell you something about life. Tell me what he said?”

“He said that Angel could never get rid of who he was. That it doesn’t take one moment of happiness to release his demon. Something about asking Darla about it.”

“What else?”

“He said we were meant to be.”

Sadra sighed and turned around, “He was right on one thing, you can never escape who you are. You could try and forget about your power, but it would always be there. Buried inside, waiting to come out and remind you what you were. But he was wrong when he said you were meant to be. No one is meant for anyone, we are always alone in life, and occasionally you find someone you connect with. But being meant for someone else… only in the movies.”

Willow turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. “Are you just saying that because it’s true, or because you never found your other half?”

“It’s true, and I've had many lovers in my time. None of them were ever the one, Ethan came close but there was always something missing.”

“I think it’s because you never found it. I read this story about when people were first created man and woman shared a soul. But the gods sent down a thunderbolt and split them in two, and when it was all done they spent their whole lives looking for their other half.”

“That’s pure nonsense. Something mothers tell their daughters at night so they can dream of a perfect man they will never have. You and him are not meant to be, he is a test and the dreams are just there to confuse you.”

“Then how come you didn’t know what I dreamt about last night? Why do you keep pushing me to him? He followed me here last night and I know it will be just a matter of time before he comes for me. You know that just as much as I do. What are you hiding? What do you want me to do to him?”

Sadra jumped up from her seat, “Get dressed, you lesson is in a hour. Breakfast is on the table in the dining room.” She calmly waked out of the room and closed the door leaving Willow behind to think.
 

~Part 6~

After Willow finished her breakfast she went into one of the training rooms trying to find Sadra. Luckily she right on the first try.
 

“What took you so long, I said a hour?” Sadra said irritated.
 

“Couldn’t decide what to eat. You had a whole array to chose from.”
 

“Well next time listen to what I say, do you want me to throw you back in Sunnydale. You don’t want to go back to it, so listen.”
 

“Who said I have to stay in Sunnydale anyway?” Willow sat on the ground across from Sadra.
 

“I didn’t say you wanted to stay, but I can make it so you couldn’t leave. You would have to stay with your friends, your girlfriend you killed, your slayer who cannot make it on her own, and your ignorant childhood friend.”
 

“Don’t talk about them like that!”
 

“Or what? You may deny it but you know its true. They feel they don’t need you until its too late. You should see them now scrambling to find you, without you they are lost and soon Giles will be gone and they will all fall like cards in a game. But that’s only if Ripper leaves, he feels torn that you are gone. Wants to stay, wants to leave. Would you like to make the choice for him?” Sadra held out her hands, in both she held two stones, one quartz, one onyx. “Pick the black to send him away, you know what the other means so go ahead. Kill them or save them, it’s your choice.”
 

Willow looked at the stones and lifted up her hand slowly. “You know what my decision is, why are you playing with me like this?”
 

“If he stays, he will die. If he goes he will lead a full life. Marry, have a child, and train her to be his next slayer. If he stays, the slayer will be born to someone else. You can choose between a tired slayer or a useful watcher.”
 

Willow pulled her hand back, “Some other time, its not my choice anyway.”
 

“Well onto your lesson. Can you float?”
 

“Objects, yeah I can do that with no problem.” Willow answered smiling.
 

“I meant can you float yourself, and I'm taking that as a no. Well this should be good, I always laugh when it someone's first time.”
 

“That’s not fair, I just haven’t gotten around to mastering it yet.”
 

“Well at least you know the basics, this shouldn’t be too hard for you. Close your eyes and concentrate on the space around you.” Willow followed her directions. “Now feel yourself getting lighter and lighter until you have no weight. Good, use your energy to lift yourself, you shouldn’t feel like you're lifting any weight. Open your eyes Willow and look around.”
 

Willow opened her eyes and was happy to see that see was in the air.
 

“Don’t get to happy, concentrate. This is the hardest part; until you master this it will be difficult. Unfold your legs and pull out your arms. Now, move yourself up and down.”
 

Willow started to move up in the air until she hit her head on the ceiling. “Ow!” She screamed before falling to the floor.
 

“I told you it was funny.” Sadra said laughing.
 

“For you maybe, can I try again?”
 

“No, you did it pretty well for the first time. Most people would have fallen just when they opened their eyes. Now I want you to float me.”
 

“Look, I can float people but it doesn’t work out too well when I’m not holding on.”
 

“I don’t care you need to learn this, now if you drop me I will punish you!”
 

Back in Sunnydale

“Giles have you heard anything yet?” Buffy asked, walking into the magick shop.
 

“No, nothing. I tried to call Angel but Wesley answered the phone. He said that they were having problems with some prophecy about a birth of some sort. He wouldn’t tell me anything else.” The truth was Wesley told him everything. He just didn’t know how to tell Buffy, Angel was about to have a child.
 

“So did you try the council again?”
 

“Yes, and all they can tell me about this woman is that she comes to train young witches for evil. And if they don’t follow her she kills them. Buffy, I don’t know why but I feel that I know this woman from somewhere. Its like my memories are being toyed with, I'm going to go talk to one of my lesser sources and see what they can tell me, if there’s a spell or something on me, but other than that we’ll just have to wait and see.”

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