Life Alone

Author: Eshe

Rating: Pg for now

Pairing: W/A S/B Willow/Micheal (sort of)

Disclaimer: BTVS, ATS belong to the king of kings Joss Whedon and Roswell belongs to whoever owns it not me

Summary: After Wrecked Willow leaves to find herself, she ends up in Roswell and meets some otherworldly folks. Oh and Spike calls Angel to find our wonderful witch. Some of this is AU no baby or Holtz and Spike and Buffy are together

Distribution: Tell me where its going, other than that I have no prob
 

~Prologue~
 

Dear Guys,

You probably all know what happened last night with Dawn. Well I'm sorry about that but you don't know what its like. The magic is so addictive; the power makes it so easy to lose yourself. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm not someone who puts my friends in danger, or puts them behind me. You all came first with everything before it started. And when it started? I don't know, it was before Tara left. Probably before Tara came, I just have more power now; you know something to show for it. I know she left for my own good and that even if we did get back together we can never go back to normal. I just hope that we can at least be friends, talk like when we first met. I'm not going to L.A. I don't know where I'm going; I just need to get away from here for a little. Find out who I am now and not pretend that I can live without the magic. I know that's impossible because it's a part of me now. I have so much energy inside of me and It will kill me if I don't do something with it. So I hope you understand, because I'll be back in a little while. I'm not one to turn my back on family.

Willow
 

"So you think she'll come back?" Tara asked Buffy who finished  reading the letter.

"I'm sure of it, I'm just not sure who she'll be when she does come back." Buffy answered worried.

"Willow is strong, and she doesn't want to be evil or else she would have taken that job with my old boss." Anya offered, "Besides we do know what kind of a person she is, she'll only be gone for two weeks at the most."

Everyone in the room looked at each other and hoped for the best, except for Spike who was backing away quietly to call someone he couldn't stand.
 

~Part: one~

Willow looked at the road sign wondering which turn she should take. She had been driving for five days (with the exception of stopping for food, gas and sleep) and didn't know where she was or where she was going. She had decided to let her heart lead her to peace. Her mind was so into thought that she almost missed the sign that read `Welcome to Roswell' until she ran into it.

Willow tried to get out of the ditch she had just drove into to no avail, driving in reverse just made it worse.

"Okay Willow you have two choices, either sit here and wait for help, or walk and get help. Magic is not on the menu tonight, so I'm going to walk." She said to herself.

Willow grabbed her bag and got out of the car, locking all the doors and starting walking into town. After thirty minutes she came across a tow shop and went inside.

"Can I help you?" A young man asked form behind her.

"Yes, see on my way into town I kind of drove my car into the welcome sign." She quickly explained.

"Don't worry, it happens all the time. By the way my name is Kyle." The man said gesturing to the nametag on his shirt.

"Willow Rosenberg."

"SO what brings you to Roswell?"

"Just trying to get away from life." She hastily said, "Thing just started getting too tough back home."

"I know how you feel. Well back to business, our last truck just went out before you came in so it's gonna be a two hour wait."

Willow frowned just as her stomach started to rumble. "Is there someplace I can get a good meal then?"

"Well I'm getting off in five minutes, I can take you to the Crashdown. I always go there, it's got great food and good people. Think you can wait that long?"

"Sure." Willow answered nodding.

Ten minutes later Willow found herself in a booth having a very interesting conversation with Kyle about his father.

"… so he is actually good?" Willow asked laughing.

"Yeah, at first I was embarrassed but I'm kind of starting to like the music."

"I wish I had a relationship like that with my father, even with my mother. I couldn't ever tell them anything, not even when I started dating a girl."

Kyle almost choked on his soda, "A girl! But you're so…"

"So what? Quiet, girly, you can go on for days describing what I am but I don't fall in love with a person's sex, it's the person. You know who they are. Don't get me wrong, I totally like guys and there were times when I did feel that there was something missing with her. But you don't choose who you love."

"Okay I feel you on that, but I'm a man and I know I should be turned on by the prospect of girl-girl action. But I don't get it, what can a woman do that a man can't?"

"As much as I would love to answer that for you our food is here." Willow moved her jacket off the table and adjusted her position. It had been days since she had, had a good meal, and she wasn't going to wait any longer.

As the waitress set their food on the table she smiled warmly at Willow and introduced herself, "Hi my name is Liz."

"Willow."

"So what brings you to Roswell Willow?" Liz asked.

"Just trying to get away from the weird life I've been living for the past five years."

"Wish I could join you on that one. So are you coming with Kyle to the party tonight?"

Willow looked across the table, "We just met, and I think I'm a little too old to be going anywhere with Kyle."

"It's okay my father wont mind, besides there are going to be people there older than you… How old are you?"

"Twenty, I know it's not that old but I feel a lot older."

"You know Buddha says some people have old souls." Kyle said elaborating."

Liz laughed and started to back away, "Well I've got to get back to work before my father says something. Nice to meet you Willow and I hope I see you tonight."
 

~Part: two~

After receiving the call from his worst enemy Angel started making calls to various sources trying to find any information on Willows whereabouts and finally something came in, she had used her credit card at a tow shop in Roswell, New Mexico.

After listening to Kyle beg her for hours to go to this so-called winter break celebration Willow gave in and said yes to being Kyle’s date for the party. She rummaged through her clothes and finally decided on her favorite outfit. Buffy had picked it out for her during one of their shopping trips. She quickly pulled on the leather pants and white wrap around shirt. She then pulled out her matching jacket just as someone knocked on the door. When she opened it she saw someone she didn’t expect.

“Who are you?” Willow asked in surprise.

The man at the door sighed, “I'm Michael. Kyle got caught up at home with his father and he asked me to pick you up.”

“Okay, you're Michael Maria’s ex.”

“Yeah, I’m so glad you know about that.”

“Look I’m sorry, its just I was trying to figure out who you were. I sometimes have trouble keeping my thoughts to myself lately.”
Michael gestured out the door, “SO are you coming or what?”

“Yeah.” Willow followed Michael out the door closing it behind her. She soon figured out that Michael didn’t have a car and they were forced to walk, considering that her car was still in a ditch outside of town. Soon Willow grew bored with the silence and tried to make small talk.

“So how long have you lived here?”

“My whole life.” Michael said quickly.

“So when you met Maria was it love at first sight?”

“More like annoyance at first sight.”

“Reminds me of my best friend Xander, he and this girl Cordelia used to argue and fight all the time until they started heading to the nearest utility closet.”

Michael stopped walking. “Has anyone told you, you talk too much?”

“Occasionally, I start to babble a lot when I get nervous. Besides I was just trying to be nice, it’s a long walk and silence is not golden. It’s annoying, you're reminding me of Angel.”

“Who’s Angel?”

“Nobody important. Besides why should you care you obviously don’t want to talk to me.”

“Maybe I do, so why was Maria talking to you about.” They started walking again.

“Nothing really, I just got out of a serious relationship and we were venting.”

“With Angel?”

“Oh no, not him we’re just friends. He’s my other best friends ex.”

“But you still talk?”

“Not really, like I said he’s on the quiet side. Last time we talked it was really sad, and I didn’t want to say anything to make it worse. It was really awkward, and then he hugged me but it wasn’t just a hug it was more like he held me.”

“You like him, was he the reason you and whoever broke up.”

“No, it was nothing like that its just I had this problem with someone that I depended on way more than I should have. She wanted more for me than I was doing, and back then I didn’t see anything wrong with what I was doing.”

“Why were you doing it?”

“Because back in high school I wasn’t popular, just about everyone made fun of me. Then Buffy moved to town and she accepted me without a problem. Mostly because she needed help with her own problem, but she was my friend and it opened up this world to me that I never knew existed and sometimes I wish I didn’t know its here. But it changed me for the good at first and somewhere along the way it just got bad.”

“Are we talking about drugs here?” Michael asked confused.

“No, its something else, maybe I can tell you later.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I don’t know you that well and if I told you the truth you would think I'm crazy.”

“You have no idea how screwed up I am.”

“Lets talk about you now, nothing big just a few questions.”

“Okay shoot.”

“How was life growing up for you?”

“Not so great.”

“That’s all I get? It must have been worse then mine, all my parents did was leave me to go on month long trips. I could really feel the love there.”

“Well my parents never went on trips, I'm adopted and after my mother died I wish my father did ignore me.”

“Do you still live with him?”

“No, he’s dead. They even tried to say I killed him for a while.”

“Did you?”

“No, I think that’s enough for this conversation, besides we only have two more blocks.” Michael points down the street and Willow looks to see people walking in and out of a club dressed up.

“Do you think I under dressed, most of those girls have on dresses?”

“There's nothing wrong with what you have on. You look hot.”

Willow smiled, “That’s a complement I don’t get a lot.”

“Why? You look really good, if I wasn’t in love with my ex I would go after you.”

“That’s sweet.”

Willow was about to say something when a brunette woman called Michaels name and started walking over to him.

“Isabelle.” Michael acknowledged pulling her into a hug. “What's up?”

“Nothing I just wanted to see how you were, and you seem to be doing fine from what I see. Hi, I'm Isabelle.” She held out her hand to Willow.

“Willow, but we’re not together. I'm actually supposed to be here with Kyle.” Willow took her hand and shook it, noticing the strange feeling she got form Isabelle as well as the strange look she gave her back.

“What happened to him?” She said in a low voice.

Michael quickly answered, “Business with his father.”

“Well look I've got to go find Jesse, he went to get me a drink and hasn’t returned.” She turned away, “Oh and Michael Max is looking for you he says he needs to talk privately.”
 

~Part: three~

The party was in full swing as Willow and Michael entered. Soon Willow spotted Liz talking to someone she assumed was Max. He was very handsome but she also observed a bit of pain in his eyes. He was talking to Isabelle about something then suddenly he looked her way. Before Willow could say anything Maria walked over to her and pulled her away.

“You look nice girl, so different from the other Fluffy-bots.”

“Fluffy-bots?” Willow asked in confusion.

Maria pointed towards a group of girls, “You see those girls over there in the very posh, very expensive dresses?” Willow nodded. “Those are the fluffy-bots, they’re shallow, uninteresting and very rude. Sometimes I feel like pouring water over them, you know see if they’ll melt.”

Willow started laughing but stopped as she saw Michael talking to Isabelle and Max. They looked especially worried about something and Isabelle kept making quick glances at her.

“Why do they look so worried?” Willow asked Maria.

“Well, they always look like that. Max is moody; Michaels a pain and Isabelle just got married. So you figure it out.”

“Michael isn’t so bad, and he’s helplessly in love with you.”

“It doesn’t make anything better, I love him too but us together doesn’t work too well.”

“Well I'm going to leave it alone, I see Kyle coming and I'm not going to try and play miss-fix-it to two buttheads who don’t know how to work through there own problems.”

“Hey, its not like I gave up on him, its just we needed a little break. If we’re meant to be then we’ll get back together when the time is right.”

“You're worst then my friend Buffy, always hoping that her and Angel will be magically reunited. Even though she’s sleeping with this guy who is practically his brother. Look I'm going to be honest, either you're together or not, there’s no in between. If you love him then tell him, and then kiss him and hold him until you both die. Because all that we need a break stuff is crock, if you two are really meant to be together you will know because your heart will ache when he's gone and you will feel as though you're world is falling apart. I had to realize that when I broke up with my first love Oz, my world didn’t fall apart it was just my heart. And with Tara I didn’t even cry for two days, so figure it out before you do lose him.”

“But I cant, he doesn’t even care about me like I do him. He doesn’t ask me about my singing, or if I want to go out. He is just…”

“An average guy who doesn’t know how to treat a woman. The only people I know who do is this guy Giles, who is like my father, and Angel. Most men are buttheads, that’s what we love about them.

Suddenly Kyle stepped up and asked Willow for a dance. Meanwhile Isabelle was explaining to Michael what she had told her brother earlier.

“I'm telling you there is something wrong with her, I don’t know what I felt when I touched her but it was strong, and it doesn’t feel nice.”

“Like evil alien nice or just weird feeling nice?” Michael elaborated.

“I don’t know, weird feeling bad, she could be an alien but there’s something else.”

Max cut in, “How about I follow her some, see what she’s up to.”

“No, you have enough going on as it is with Liz’s father, how about I do it. That way nobody to gossip about you being seen with some other girl and plus I already kind of know her. We talked on the way here.” Michael offered.

Max shook his head agreeing, “Did she seem weird to you?”

“Somewhat but I can kind out if she’s an alien. Give me till the end of the night.” Michael walked off over to where Kyle was dancing with Willow.

“Can I cut in?” He asked.

Kyle moaned, “No, this is fun.”

“Kyle, let me dance with her.”

“Why?”

“Max said I needed to get my mind off Maria, so I want to dance with Willow.”

“That is a horrible excuse.” Willow said laughing. “It’s okay Kyle, the night isn’t over we can have another dance.

Kyle let Willow go and she turned to Michael who pulled her close to him and started moving on the dance floor.

“So why did you really want to dance with me?” Willow asked curious.

“Because, I like you somewhat and I like messing with Kyle.”

“Somewhat, okay I can deal with that. You mind if we stop?”

“Why?”

“Because you stepped on my foot.”

Michael backed up. “Sorry, I'm not to good with fast songs.”

“I can tell, is there anyway you can get me some ice?” Willow backed away slightly limping.

“Lets go to the bar.” Michael led her over to the bar and asked the bartender for a cup of ice. After getting it he then led her over to a chair and helped her pull off her boot.

“You know there should be a law against you dancing in public.” Willow joked.

“Liz says that sometimes, but I ignore it. Like I said you should see me slow dance.”

“I think I’ll pass on that one.”

Kyle walked over and looked at Willow’s foot. “What did you do to my date?”

“It was an accident, she’ll be fine in a minute.”

“Are you alright Willow?” Kyle asked with concern.

“Yeah, just a little bruise,” Willow stopped as she felt her foot stop hurting. “See it feels better already.” Michael looked at her foot with astonishment, he felt something but he didn’t know what.

Willow pulled her shoe back on, wondering what had just happened. She didn’t use any spell that time, her body healed itself. She was about to get up when Michael started talking.

“Kyle I really need to talk to you about something.” He said as he got up from his chair and pulled him away.

“That was weird.” Willow said to herself as they walked away. Fortunately Maria walked over to her and started talking.

“So you just got injured by Michael?”

“Not really, it was just a bump.”

“Yeah he does that sometimes when he dances, you should see him slow dance.”

“He said he does that good, but I don’t believe him.”

“You should, he’s a really good dancer when he wants to be.”

Willow looked over to Michael and noticed him talking to Max again, “Do you know what they’re talking about?”

“Wish I did, do you know how many times he would just get up and leave me to talk to Max? Everytime we were busy, having one of our moments, Max would call and Michael would go.”

“Seems like they're discussing the end of the world.”

“That would be putting it lightly.” Maria joked hoping that Willow didn’t suspect anything about her former boyfriend.

Willow started to fell uncomfortable and decided to go back to the hotel. “Would you tell Kyle I wasn’t feeling well? I'm leaving.”

“You don’t feel okay?”

“Not really I feel king of sick.”

“You want me to walk with you?” Maria offered.

“No, I think I can make it back by myself.” Willow started walking towards the door.

Meanwhile…

“You think she’s an alien?” Kyle asked astonished. “She’s so sweet and nice.”

Max started to explain, “I don’t think she’s an alien, Isabelle said she felt something when they shook hands, and now Michael said that he felt something before she said her foot felt better. I don't know if she's an alien but we need to find out.”

“What, by having Michael follow her around? I can spend some time with her and I bet you I’ll find out.”

“What happens if she is one and she ends up killing you?” Michael asked.

“Oh yeah, didn’t really think about that, you go ahead I’ll just go find another date.” Kyle turned around and saw Willow walking out the door. “Michael, she’s leaving.”

Michael looked towards the door and saw Willow walk out; he started running towards the door after her, happy when he caught her outside a block away from the club.

“You really shouldn’t be walking at night alone.” Michael said coming up behind her.

“I told you looks could be deceiving.”

“Yeah but it would make everyone feel better to know you get back to the hotel safe.”

“Whatever, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“What were you and Max talking about?”

“Personal stuff, nothing important.” He quickly answered.

“Cause you know it was kind of weird, you know the way you all kept making quick glances at me.”

“Well, who could blame us you look so good.”

“Even Isabelle?”

“You never know with people nowadays. Look, I think it’s just because you’re new in town and we don't really know you. So yeah we’re gonna look, you know how it gets when you're around the same people for so long and you suspect anything of someone new.”

“So you think I'm evil?”

“Evil? No, maybe suspicious but not evil, you could be a master thief or something coming to rob us all.”

“Ive never stole anything in my life, well… maybe once or twice. But not a whole house or anything.”

“Okay, so you past that test.” Michael smiled.

“Test? I wish I could turn you into a frog or something, but then I would be scared.”

“You're scared of frogs?” He started to laugh. “That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard.”

Willow shook her head and instead of using magic she put her foot out and tripped him.

“Ow! What did you that for?” He asked as he pulled her down with him.

“Thought I was just gonna let you talk about me. I told you looks are deceiving.”

Michael flipped her onto her back and pinned her to the ground, “But I can still take you.”

Willow kicked her knees up and flipped Michael over her, wondering when she got the sudden strength from she stood back up and started running to the hotel, crying.

“Willow wait!” Michael screamed behind her grabbing her arm. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I can tell you about. Goddess this is so embarrassing, please don't tell anybody.”

“Don't worry I won’t. Can’t exactly tell my friends I got my ass kicked by a girl.” Michael looked at her and pulled her into a hug; whatever she was he knew she wasn’t anything evil. “Lets get you back to the hotel, it’s going to be alright.”

“You don't know that, no matter how much you want things to be alright it will never be.”

“Yes it will, true things get messed up but in the end it will work out.” Michael looked into her eyes not knowing what to say to her or even contemplate what was wrong. So he pulled her close and started kissing her.
 

~Part: four~

Willow didn’t know how they went from talking to kissing, but if felt good, different. A little too different, something was off. Willow pulled back reluctantly, “What are you?”

Michael too was stunned by what he felt, “Shouldn’t I ask you the same question?”

“I asked first.” She said firmly.”

“You're not here to kill me are you?”

“No, what are you?” She repeated.

Michael thought through his options and finally decided to say something, “I'm an alien.”

This time Willow laughed, “Oh, you're serious. Sorry, I'm just used to dealing with demons and vampires. Aliens are new to me.”

Michael looked astonished, “What are you trying to say?”

“I'm a witch, a good one except for that one time. But that’s why I'm here, trying to find out who I am.”

“Are you serious?”

“Are you? Yes I'm serious, I'm a witch, I use spells and chants to bend things to my liking.”

“Show me.” He said seriously.

“I can’t, the last time I used it  I almost got my friend killed.”

“But you have to show me something, I know you have some power. I can feel it when we touch, its almost like it radiates off you.”

“I don't know why, Michael I'm confused. I thought if I stopped using it that it would go away. But its still here, I don't know whats wrong with me. I don't want to give it up but I'm scared to use it.”

“Maybe you were meant to have it, don't run away from something just because it scares you. Face your fears Willow, don't let one bad thing ruin your life.”

Willow closed her eyes and let a tear fall. When she opened them again her eyes were black. She walked up to Michael and grabbed his hand pulling him close to her. “Hold on.” Willow let the magic in her body flow around then both until they started rising in the air.

“Can we get back on the ground now?” Michael asked astonished at what she was doing.

Willow complied and lowered them softly onto the ground. When Michael looked up to Willow again her eyes were normal. “I showed you mine. Show me yours.”

Michael walked over to the lamp on the street, “Now my power is nowhere as cool as yours but…” Michael touched the lamp and suddenly to bulb inside busted.

“Well its still something.” She said laughing.
 

~Part: five~

Angel arrived in town sooner than he expected, as he drove through the streets he was surprised to see Willow walking with a guy. He didn’t think it would have been so easy to find her. Backing up down the street some, Angel parked his car and got out following Willow as she walked.

As he listened to her conversation, it stunned him how he felt jealous of her kissing someone. He never had thoughts like that before, except when he was Angelus, and even after that he felt too guilty around her to look at her more than a second. As his inner debate ensued Angel didn’t notice the man walking towards him until it was too late.

“Can I ask you why you were following me?” He asked.

Angel looked at him and wondered what she saw in him, why she would even let him kiss her.

“I asked you a question?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t following you.” Angel explained.

“How much did you hear?”

“Why are you questioning me, I wasn’t done. Anyway, I was following Willow.”

“You know her?”

“Yes I know her, I’ve known her for over five years. A friend of mine called me and asked me to find her.”

“Who, Buffy?”

“No, Spike. So, she’s had time to talk about her friends. I’m Angel by the way.”

“Yeah she said something about you.”

“She was talking about me?” Michael noticed the way Angels face lit up at that.

“Yeah, not that much though. So you said one of her friends called you. Don’t they know she’s in a terrible state right now, I don’t think she wants to see any of you now.”

“But she hasn’t seen me in a while.” Angel started to protest.

“Well she doesn’t seem that interested in you either. Look, Willow is kind of like me, she did something wrong and she has to pay the price. She thinks it means losing her magic but that’s a part of her that wont go away. She needs to find a way to live without using it right now and I don’t think fighting evil is the way to go. Let her stay here she’ll be fine, I’ll explain to my friends what's going on with her and they’ll lay off with treating her like a suspect and she will go home when she's ready.”

“I agree with you but I need to see her, I need to talk to her. I don’t understand what has happened to her, I know the last time we talked was almost a year ago but she’s special and sometimes her friends don’t really want to see what she is.”

“Yeah? Well look, I have some really suspicious friends waiting for me to fill them in on your girl. Im not going to stop you if you decide to go in there but if you hurt her I’ll make you suffer.”

Angel nodded, “That’s something that I promise never to do to her again.”

Michael walked off from Angel hoping that Max and Isabelle were still at the party so he could have some time to put his emotions in order to apologize to Maria. Angel on the other hand walked in the opposite direction and stood in front of Willow’s hotel room for a few minutes before knocking

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