Author: Eshe

Rating: Pg for now

Disclaimer: BTVS, ATS belong to the king of kings Joss Whedon

Summary: Does it really matter?

Spoilers: up to Once more With Feeling

Distribution: Tell me where its going, other than that I have no prob

Authors notes: Some of this is a repost, my bad
 
 

It had been a little over three months since he had last held her, seen her, since he discovered his soul was permanent thanks to her. She had come to tell him his love had died, and after that night it really had. It was funny how Buffy’s name didn’t make his heart jump anymore. There had been a time when the mention of it made him happy, or sad. It had been replaced with someone else’s, he couldn’t understand what had happened but he knew it was meant to be.

 Angel leaned back in the chair trying to get comfortable. Too much had happened since that night, Buffy was back from the dead, Fred finally dealt with her crush on him, and he had another taste of being human. Everything was different for him now, and Buffy was a closed chapter.

 As Cordelia walked into the office holding her head Angel pulled out a pad. “You wont believe this! I actually have a headache. Could you look in the desk for my Motrin.?”

 Angel opened the drawer and pulled out the bottle of medicine. Worry shot through his head at Cordelia’s condition, even though it was just a headache humans were so fragile to him, easily breakable.

Cordelia took the medicine with glee and quickly exited the office. She didn’t know what happened with Buffy, but she knew her boss wasn’t brooding over her. One way or another she was going to find out what was wrong with her friend.

Wesley looked at the concern written over her face and sighed, “He’s still in there brooding? If I ever find out what Buffy-“

“It wasn’t Buffy!” Cordelia quickly corrected for him, “We all know how he gets about her, our dear Angel has fallen for someone else. Now if we can just find out who, we can lock them in a room and let them get it on.”

“That would be reasonable considering his soul is anchored.”

“Man, I don’t know how he’ll act when he gets some but its got to be better than this.” Gunn elaborated. “But how do we find out who it is?”

“Well its not me, we already know what happened with Fred, Kate’s out of the question and what woman hangs out with a bunch of monks.”

“Well who has he been around that we know of?” Wesley asked.

“I don’t know but I think I'm going to have to come up with something extreme.”

Gunn arched an eyebrow, “How extreme?”

“Give me some time, I’m the queen of plots.”
 
 

2
 
 

Willow sat her brush down on the dresser. She was glad the singing demon was gone, if anyone had came in while she was singing, she didn’t know how they would have reacted. Tara would have been so hurt, it wasn’t like she didn’t love her, and things just got out of hand that day. Willow was trying to make it work, and she didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Xander.
 
 

Above everything else she needed a break, Tara was ready to leave her because of her magic. But how could she not? Willow never told anyone the truth of her magic and looking back how could she, it was her secret and it wasn’t like it was evil. The woman had told her that half of it was good and the other half evil, like yin and yang. And she couldn’t give it back now, that would mean death. Something that Willow didn’t want. Furthermore look at what she had done with it, anchored a soul, brought life from death and not to forget all the evil she had banished.
 
 

Willow didn’t notice Tara come into the room and was surprised when she turned around to see her crying.
 
 

“Baby, what's wrong?”
 
 

Tara turned her head slightly thinking of where to start, “What are you trying to keep from me?”
 
 

Willow shook her head, “Nothing.”
 
 

“Don’t lie to me, I know what you did, and it wasn’t the first time, I asked Dawn. We've been fighting since your trip to LA and I want to know why?”
 
 

“They weren’t big fights. I just didn’t want to fight anymore, I thought if we could forget then it wouldn’t matter.”
 
 

“Why are you lying to me? Who did you sleep with? I took the spell off, I remember. You wouldn’t let me touch you, and you kept taking showers. Willow, you’re hurting me more this way. Quit lying, stop casting spells. If I could I would bind your power, but that’s another lie isn’t it? Where did you get all the power? Did you give yourself to someone for power, is that it? Tell me!”
 
 

“Tara please, I didn’t do anything like that. Just calm down and we can talk.”
 
 

“Go ahead… lie again.”
 
 

Willow reacted to that comment like a slap in the face. “The truth is I was blessed with power from the goddess.”
 
 

“Where is the mark?”
 
 

Willow pulled her hair from off her neck and whispered a spell, “I didn’t know how to tell everyone, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to react bad, and nothing happened in LA.”
 
 

“I don’t think this is going to work.” Tara said in a half-whisper. “I know you Willow, and you’ve given your heart to someone else.”
 
 

Willow didn’t realize she was crying till the tears moved down her cheeks, “No, I love you, you have my heart. Please don’t leave me.”
 
 

“Willow, you left your heart in LA. I don’t know who it is but I cant stay here while you try and convince yourself that you love me. Maybe you did at one time but not anymore.”
 
 

Tara walked away, ignoring Willows protests. It was for the best and deep down she knew this was coming. Willow was the rebound she just so happened to catch.
 
 

3
 
 

As Buffy walked into her house she was greeted by Dawn sitting on the couch with a worried look on her face, “What's wrong? Did something happen at school?”
 
 

Dawn shook her head, “Willow and Tara just broke up. Don’t ask why cause I'm just getting the gist of it, I came home at the end and I think you need to go and talk to her.”
 
 

Buffy nodded and walked p the stairs to Willows room. Gently knocking she opened the door, finding Willow crying into her pillow.
 
 

“So when did you get the tattoo?” Buffy asked after seeing the small triangular mark on Willows neck. “Cause if that’s why she broke up with you Ill go pound on her for you. Willow… you okay?”
 
 

Willow turned her head to the side and looked at the wall, “About as fine as I can be. I know I did some things wrong, but she has to understand I had to.”
 
 

“Willow what did you have to do?”
 
 

“At first when I came back from LA, when I went to tell Angel about you, she kept starting arguments because she thought I cheated on her, and then it was about my magic. But I couldn’t tell her the truth; the truth would make her leave. But she left anyway.”
 
 

“I don’t understand.”
 
 

“I cheated on her in more ways than one. With my magic, I was blessed by the goddess, hence the tattoo on my neck. That was how I was able to bring you back, and then Angels soul. Then I really cheated on her and worst of all I love him.”
 
 

Buffy sat back taking in the information, “Angel told me his soul was permanent but he didn’t say you did it. Relationships are hard, but if you no longer love the person it hurts them more if you stay, that’s why Angel and I moved on. I… I'm with Spike now.”
 
 

Willow looked up at Buffy, “Bt I did it for you, so that you could be happy.”
 
 

“In a weird way I am happy, but would knowing that I don’t love Angel anymore have made you not do it?”
 
 

“No, I wanted him to be happy too.”
 
 

“Our relationship was over after the whole Angelus thing, we were just trying to hold on to something that was gone, and we just didn’t want to admit it. Maybe Glory was the end of yours. Was anything right after that?”
 
 

“No.”
 
 

“Your hurting because life sucks and Tara just made that clear. You're not with whom you love and until you are it’s going to hurt. So lets find the idiot and beat him until he realizes what he's missing.”
 
 

“You don’t understand… I never meant for it to happen. But we were drunk and that green demon kept saying we would both be smiling in the morning, and we did but soon after we were crying and he looked guilty and left me alone. After that I couldn’t stop remembering and I tried to wash it off but even Spike could smell it.”
 
 

“Slow down, you aren’t talking about Spike are you?”
 
 

“No, he's still yours and you should thank me for keeping him out of the sun after you died. I'm talking about Angel.” Willow regretted toe word as soon as they left her mouth.
 
 

“Angel! Angel, Angel, king of brood Angel? He seemed kind of weird when we talked. Well looks like we’re going to LA. Dawn! Pack a weekend beg!” he shouted down the stairs running out of Willows room.
 
 

4
 
 

Cordelia crept into Angel’s room quietly, she knew this was desperate but she had to know. She just hoped the perfume she used was the right one. After making of list of people Angel had been around in the last few months, she picked the ones he hadn’t seen before Buffy died.
 
 

She sat in his bed next to him and got under the covers. She didn’t tell Wesley what she was doing because she knew he would freak, Gunn on the other hand was easy and agreed with no problem. Cordelia placed one arm over Angel and almost ran when he pulled her closer, but she had to do it.
 
 

Angel ran his hands through her hair and leaned into her neck, “Willow.” He whispered before his eyes suddenly opened at the all too familiar scent accompanying the perfume.

“Cordy!” He gasped jumping up, “What are you doing here?”
 
 

“Trying to help you! I knew you weren’t brooding over Buffy and I had to know who it was. Who would have thought you would fall for Willow? What happened when you two left that night?”
 
 

“Cordy this isn’t the time for you to go snooping around in my personal life.”
 
 

“Then when is? You're my friend and I want to help you. Like I said I knew you weren’t moping over Buffy. I wanted to know, I had to know.” She protested.
 
 

“Was Wesley and Gunn in on it too?”
 
 

“Wesley didn’t know about this but yes they both were in on it. And why shouldn’t they?”
 
 

“Cordy I would appreciate it if you left right now.”
 
 

“But Angel we-“
 
 

“Now!”
 
 

Cordelia put her hands up and left. Once outside she lifted her arms up and did a happy dance all the way down the stairs.
 
 

“So I take it you found out who the unlucky lady was?” Gunn asked curious.
 
 

“Yeah and youll never guess who it is.”
 
 

“You?”
 
 

“No! Remember Willow?”
 
 

“Redhead, came here after we got back from the bad place.”
 
 

“Yeah, aka Buffy’s best friend.”
 
 

“That can’t be good. Must be why he's extra moody these days.”
 
 

“That’s the truth. So how do you propose we get her here? Knowing Willow the guilt is seeping through her pores, and I bet she won’t come within five miles of here.”
 
 

“Why don't we call and tell her that Angel is hurt and we need her to help us kill some demon. Or better yet cast a spell to vanquish this demon.”
 
 

Cordelia’s face lit up, “Now you're starting to think like me.” Cordelia picked up the phone and dialed Willows number. After eight rings the answering machine picked up and she hung up the phone discouraged. Looking at the clock she sighed, “Well its noon, I'm sure she's in class or doing something with Buffy. I’ll call back in a few hours.
 
 

“Gunn was about to say something when the sound of the front door stopped him. He looked over and saw a young blond girl, “Can I help you?”
 
 

“Yeah, I'm looking for Angel.” She answered.
 
 

Cordelia heard the voice and moved to the other side of the counter to look at the woman. “Buffy? What are you doing here?”
 
 

Buffy stared her old friend down for a second before answering, “Trying to help Willow. Where’s Angel?”
 
 

“Where’s Willow?” Cordelia questioned ignoring Buffy’s request.
 
 

“In the car, I swear if Spike and Dawn weren’t holding her down she would be running.”
 
 

“Spike is with you?”
 
 

“If you haven’t heard he's neutered. Perfectly harmless to the average human, except for me but that’s not a problem anymore.”
 
 

“That’s great, can Willow come in now?”
 
 

“As soon as you tell me where Angel is.”
 
 

“I'm up here.” Came a voie fron the stairwell, “How can I sleep with all the noise down here.
 
 

Buffy looked at her former boyfriend before leaving the hotel. Moments later Spike came running through the doors with his trusty blanket covering him.
 
 

“Bloody sun! I swear someone needs to do something about that, there used to be a time when it didn’t burn like that.”
 
 

“Spike what are you doing here?” Angel asked hiding his anger.
 
 

“Don't ask me mate, I just supplied the car for this little excursion to poofsville.”
 
 

“So you and Buffy are together?”
 
 

“Spike smiled, “Yup, and for once the chick isn’t obsessed with you. It’s a good relationship all around. Little jealous are you?”
 
 

Angel scoffed, “Like I care.”
 
 

“That’s cause you have it for the redhead. Buffy knows about it, that’s why we’re here. Look, you know she's not going to come in here and we have like five hours till dusk, so you have two choices: One you take snuggles here and run like hell out to the car. Or two, you wait till she comes in here and have it off in front of all of us. Go for the latter man, if that were Buffy I wouldn’t wait.”
 
 

5
 
 

Angel ran to the car as fast as he could. He hated to admit it but Spike was right about the sun, it didn’t used to burn so much. Buffy opened the door as soon as she saw him leave to hotel. As she looked towards Dawn, giving her a glance of knowing, the two left the car leaving Willow and Angel alone.
 
 

Willow gave up fighting to open the doors soon after and moved to the other side of the car. “Leave it to Spike to have adult-proof locks.”
 
 

“Well as sick as it sounds you cant have dinner running away from you. Although you do that well don't you?”
 
 

“I wasn’t the one doing the running Angel, that was you. Always to stuck on Buffy you cant see what’s in front of you.”
 
 

“What do you mean by that?”
 
 

“Well the whole time you were in Sunnydale the only one you wanted was Buffy, even when you were Angelus. Nobody ever sees me but societies rejects. A guitar playing wolf and a mumbling witch, and they both left me.”
 
 

“Stop saying that.”
 
 

“Why? It’s the truth.”
 
 

“No, its not! Willow you're so wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself that you cant see how special you are.”
 
 

“Isnt that what they all say?”
 
 

“Because you are! Do you know Angelus, even Spike wanted you, even before that I wanted you. Yes when I was with Buffy I would look at you and magine us together. When I was with her that night, when I lost my soul, I whispered your name. She didn’t hear it but I did and sometimes I think it was you who made me lose it. The night when Angelus grabbed you, he was going to take you and make you his mate. Willow I love you and Ive loved you before the night we were together, aske Cordy if you don't believe me.”
 
 

“Angel I want to believe you but it hurts… it hurts to think that you love me like I love you. I cant help but think that one day you're not going to feel that anymore, that youll leave me like everyone else.”
 
 

“Willow I have the same fears, but for me one day you will leave and I don't know what Id do then.”
 
 

“Angel I’ll never leave, not like that anyway.”
 
 

“What?”
 
 

“Don't talk right now.” Willow moved closer to Angel and pulled him into a kiss.
 
 

Wesley waked into the Hyperion with Fred at his side, he had a puzzled look on his face, “Who’s in the car out there?”
 
 

“Gunn spoke up, “Why?”
 
 

“Because its shaking awfully hard.”
 
 

Everyone in the room started laughing causing Wesley to notice the extra people in the room, “Buffy, Dawn, Spike! Why are you here?”
 
 

Buffy walked over to Wesley and put a hand on his shoulder, “Well we came here to help Willow solve a problem she was having. And she's currently solving it right now, in the car, with Angel.”

End

back