Loss

Author: Firedrake

Email: cogbehaviorist@ivillage.com

Rating: PG-13 for some violence and general ickiness.

Disclaimer: Joss owns most. Kendra owns Siobhan, I own Devyn.

Distribution: My site- The Dragon’s Cave ( http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/firedrake ). Kendra’s sites, of course. Anyone who has my stuff and/or the Forever Series. Everyone else, please ask.

Author’s Notes: This is a continuation of the Forever Series, originally penned by Kendra A. Any and all mistakes are mine, since this isn’t beta’d. :: indicates thoughts, * indicates emphasis. If you see a sentence in small letters preceded by …, that’s a direct quote from Kendra’s sections.

Dedication: To Kendra, as always.

Feedback: Please. Please, please, please, please, please, please.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

Angel ran a hand through his hair as he came down the stairs the next afternoon, blinking sleep out of his eyes. He froze when he saw Willow and Devyn sitting on the lobby floor, Spike sprawled out on a nearby couch. Willow was focusing on a golden ball of light that hovered over the palm of her hand, identical to one that Devyn held. He must have made some sort of noise, because suddenly Willow was turning toward him, a wide smile on her face.

“Angel! Look what I can do!” Willow danced the ball of light through the air, spinning it in circles and spirals, her delighted laughter filling the room. Angel’s eyes were fixed on the excited redhead, so he didn’t see the pointed stare that Devyn was directing at him.

.. siobhan lifted a hand, palm up, into the air, and squinted her eyes. slowly, a golden light appeared in her palm, and she tossed her hand like she was tossing a ball into the air, and the light flew up and then began to rotate around the two of them and their tree.

Angel had watched this in a kind of awe, but he laughed as the ball of light turned in joyful circles, and the sound made siobhan happy.
 

The ball of light bounced off his head, snapping him back into the present. Willow erupted in gales of laughter, Spike’s baritone chuckle echoing underneath the airy sound. ::That’s it. It’s time we have a talk.:: Angel turned, starting when he found Devyn’s eyes fixed on him with an unreadable expression. Shaking his head, he walked down the last few steps toward the redheads.

“Devyn, would you mind taking Spike downstairs and running him through some of the techniques we’ve been working on?”

The older witch shot him a look that made it more than clear she would indeed mind, very much. Before she had a chance to voice her objections, Angel was taking her by the arm and pulling her aside.

“Devyn, please. I have to talk to Willow, and there’s no way I can do it with him around. I’d really appreciate it if you could keep Spike distracted for a little while. Besides,” Angel grinned a rather Angelus smile, “he can’t hurt you, but there’s nothing stopping you from beating him senseless.”

Nodding once, Devyn shook her arm free of Angel’s grasp and, after motioning to Spike, wordlessly headed down to the basement. After a moment, Spike followed.

They hadn’t spoken since the incident at the club, and Spike was at a loss for how to address the situation. Even though he’d been sitting next to her in the lobby for several hours, Devyn hadn’t acknowledged his presence. He watched as she pulled her overshirt off and went through simple stretches. The immediate response of his traitorous body was almost enough to convince him that he needed to make the first step in repairing their relationship. His demon was quick to remind him that they didn’t *have* a relationship. Devyn hated him, probably even more so after his antics on the dance floor. For all his years, all his experience, Spike had no idea how to proceed. Worse, he still had no idea what he wanted from the girl. Sighing, he put on his best “bored” expression and headed for the center of the mat.

“Ready, pet?”

Devyn dropped into a crouch and nodded, motioning him to attack. Circling her quickly, Spike aimed a kick at the back of her head. Anticipating his move she rolled to the side, regaining her feet and throwing a punch at his chest. The two traded blows in a graceful dance, neither with the obvious advantage, until Spike tried a new move. To his horror, it worked only too well. His fist connected with Devyn’s nose in an explosion of blood and the crack of cartilage. He dropped as quickly as she did, his hands immediately going to his temples in anticipation of the searing pain caused by the chip.

Which never came.

Spike looked up at Devyn, who was holding her nose in a useless attempt to staunch the heavy flow of blood. The front of her shirt was soaked, and what he could see of her face was rapidly beginning to swell and blacken. Some part of him was demanding that he apologize, take her upstairs or to the hospital, but a much bigger part of him was frozen in shock and confusion. And it was the latter part that spoke first.

“You.. you’re not..”

That was as far as he got. Despite her still-bleeding nose, Devyn ran for the stairs and was gone before Spike quite knew what happened, leaving him to sort out his newfound knowledge; Devyn wasn’t human.

*********

She was gone for over a week. Angel and Willow had apparently seen her dramatic exit, and immediately came down to the training room to see what had happened. Angel was less than pleased about being interrupted during his conversation with Willow- which, he had to admit, wasn’t exactly going well; indeed, hadn’t progressed much past “We need to talk..”- and pressed Spike hard for exact details of Devyn’s injury. Responding poorly to his grandsire’s short temper, Spike stormed out of the basement after flinging numerous base insults at the older vampire.

Spike hadn’t known what to tell them; all he knew was that the girl they’d been becoming fast friends with wasn’t human, and that he had hurt her very badly- both with his misplaced punch and through his discovery of her secret. Overcome with remorse- shocking enough in and of itself- Spike spent every night looking for the missing girl. Knowing he would never ask for their help, the rest of the AI team volunteered their assistance, but had no more luck than the vampire. None of Angel’s sources were forthcoming, and Willow’s attempts at a locator spell were less than fruitful.

Angel found Spike on the roof of the hotel, staring down on the lights of the city, a forgotten cigarette dangling from his hand.

“We’ll find her, Spike. It’s just a matter of time. She may even come back herself.” Angel stepped up beside his grandchilde, hoping his physical presence would prove a comfort to the distraught vampire.

“I’ve been thinking, you know, since she left. Wondering how we could’ve missed it. She’s a witch, yeah, but so’s Red and the chip won’t let me hurt her. And no demon I know smells that human.” Sighing, Spike turned to face Angel. “She recognized me as William the Bloody, but I can’t ever remember meeting her before. Angelus, you let her into your home. Who is this girl?”

Angel shook his head. “I honestly don’t know, Spike. She reminds me of someone I knew a very long time ago, someone I haven’t thought of- haven’t allowed myself to think of- in centuries. I feel like I should know who she is, but I just can’t put my finger on it. I think the only way we’re going to get any answers is from Devyn herself, when she comes back.”

Spike grunted in reply, and turned back toward the city lights. Knowing the younger vampire had had enough conversation, Angel slipped back into the hotel.

“When I was little, my best friend was my sister.”

Spike whirled in surprise, finding Devyn sitting on top of a nearby heating vent. He opened his mouth, but she held up a hand, silencing him.

“She was everything I wanted to be. Smart, beautiful, kind. And so very powerful. Magic came much more naturally to her than it did to me. I could almost believe that the Goddess worshipped her, not the other way around. I know I did.”

“One day, when she was twelve, she met a local boy. We would lay awake at night, and she would whisper to me about their day’s adventures. She loved him so, from the very first moment they met, but she was hiding a terrible secret. You see, my sister was quite the tomboy, always running around in breeches, and this boy- Liam- thought she was another local lad. My brother, in fact. The secret ate at my sister, but she had no idea how to confess it. They had grown close, and she was terrified of losing him. It turns out she needn’t have worried. When he discovered the truth, Liam fell as much in love with her as he had with the boy he’d spent every day with. That’s when my brother became involved. No one was going to have what he believed was his. One night he took her to the barn and..”

Devyn’s eyes closed tightly, anguished tears slipping past her defenses. She started when she felt Spike’s hand cover one of hers. When she looked at him, he could see the warring emotions flooding through the stormy gray depths, but he didn’t remove his hand. Taking a deep breath, Devyn nodded slightly and turned her hand over, entwining her fingers with his.

“Siobhan disappeared after that. No one knew where, except for me. Well, and Liam of course. I visited her every day, and though we never spoke of the night she disappeared I made sure that I only visited her when my brother was away from the house. Six months passed, and I.. grew careless. My brother came to realize that I knew where Siobhan was hiding. He came to my room, demanding to know where my sister was. I denied knowing, but he was.. insistent. He had a knife and was threatening the most horrible things. I continued to deny his accusations, even in the face of his threats, but when I realized he meant to violate me as he had my sister.. I couldn’t. I had no one who would support me through such a horrible act, not like Siobhan. My life would end, right there. I.. in the most evil act of selfishness, I told him where she was. My virginity was spared but my life still ended in that moment, for I never forgave myself for what resulted from my actions.”

“I followed him that night, as he bound my sister to the oak tree that had come to symbolize so much of her happiness; as his henchmen threw Liam down in front of him; as they built the pyre around Siobhan. I forced myself to watch as my sister burned to death; penance for my part in her death is never being able to rid myself of the memories of that night. The last words I spoke for twelve years was my sister’s name.”
 

Galway, Ireland, 1754

A smallish redhead brushed the glistening black coat of her favorite horse, lost in thought and the pleasure of the repetitious motion. She was planning a relaxing day away from her studies; a brisk ride to her favorite meadow and a picnic lunch would be just the thing she needed to clear her mind of the language books she had been pouring over in preparation for exams.

The barn’s only other occupants- the stable hand and his apprentice- had acknowledged the girl’s wave as she first entered the stalls, but knew better than to try to engage her in conversation. In the ten years that the stable hand had been employed by the family, he had never heard a word cross the girl’s lips. He didn’t think she had always been mute, but even the high level of gossip between the house and field servants had never revealed what had caused her silence. He pitied the lord of the manor; he was going to have quite a time trying to marry the girl off.

The redhead fastened the straps of her saddle and checked the position of the saddlebags. Tightening the belt of her tunic, she turned to lead the horse out of the stall.

“Hello, Devyn.”

Her eyes widened at the sight of the man standing before her. She hadn’t seen him in over six years, had hoped to never see him again. His cruel blue eyes- if possible, even more insane than the last time she had seen them- stared into her own, and his lips curled into a smirk.

“What, no hug for your favorite brother? No welcome home?” He stepped forward, covering the distance between them quickly and shoving her back into the stall.

“Well, well. You’ve turned out nicely, haven’t you? But no suitors, I hear. What a pity. We can’t have that, you know. Daddy can’t support you forever.” He reached down, grabbing her hair and throwing her into the clean hay. “Perhaps you just need some breaking in. It didn’t work with your sister, of course, but I think this time will be different.”

Devyn looked around frantically for a way out, for a weapon, for anything to stop what was about to happen. All of her physical training, training she had believed to be instinctual by now, abandoned her; she couldn’t even think to strike out at the thing that she had long ago called her brother. Before she realized it she was backed into a corner of the stall, and William was coming at her with a terrible gleam in his eye, his hands unfastening his belt. She tried to cry out, but found it impossible to force sound past vocal cords that had not been used in over a decade.

“Now, now. None of that. You’ve been a very bad girl, Devyn. You must be punished. There’s no sense in trying to argue about it.” William gripped the edge of her tunic, ripping it easily and grabbing for her exposed breasts.

As her brother pinched and squeezed the tender flesh, Devyn made a wish. A terrible, awful wish. A wish to a Goddess she had turned her back on years before- for Devyn had stopped practicing magic when her sister died for it. Despite the fact that she had forsaken her Goddess, Devyn’s cry was heard.

And her wish was granted.

Devyn’s normally calm gray eyes turned black, and power surged through her veins. William faltered for only a moment, then his face hardened.

“I see you’re no more a good Christian woman than your sister was. We both know what happened to her, don’t we? I’ll give you the same choice I gave her, witch. I’ll not allow this devilry in my..”

His words were cut off by his scream of pain.

Dark, powerful words came from Devyn’s mouth, words she did not know but could somehow grasp the meaning of. They flowed quickly, blending into a pulsing ball of energy that shot from her body and struck her brother.

As quickly as it had begun it was over, and where William had been standing was.. something unrecognizable. Devyn stared at the mass of.. what? flesh? organs? blood? perhaps all of these… in horror. She had done this. She had violated the teachings of her Goddess, had channeled darkest magic, and had reduced her brother to nothing more than a stinking, steaming puddle on the stable floor. She had killed her brother, using magic.

Not knowing what else to do, she ran from the stall, grabbed the reins of her saddled horse, and rode off as fast as she could whip the animal.

Darkness found her in the woods, huddled under her small picnic blanket. She didn’t dare light a fire, so she encouraged her horse to lay down and pressed close to his body for warmth and protection. Her tears had dried hours ago, and now her mind whirled in an attempt to formulate some kind of a plan. She had a little money on her, and if she rationed carefully the lunch she had packed would last her a day or two. But she would need to find clothes soon- she couldn’t be seen in the torn and bloodied tunic and breeches she wore. Perhaps dawn would bring some hope. In the meantime, she fell into a fitful sleep.

And dreamed.

Not, as she’d feared, of the events of that morning. Though really, if she thought about it, the memory of her sister’s death was far more painful and real to her than what she’d done that day to her brother. No, tonight Devyn dreamed of the Powers.

Devyn knew, because Siobhan had taught her, that the Goddess manifested in the thirteen Powers. And she knew that one of the Powers had been cast out, though no one could remember why. So when she found herself standing in front of twelve women, she immediately realized where she was, and whose presence she was in. And she was terrified.

“Child.” The voice seemed to come from everywhere, and Devyn didn’t know which of the Powers she should address. “You have been brought here to answer for your actions.”

“Yes, my lady.” She was slightly surprised to note that her voice was raspy, but serviceable. She chose to keep her eyes lowered.

“You understand that what you have done defies all that we hold sacred. Not only did you forsake us, but you used your power in the most evil manner possible.”

“I had no other choice. I couldn’t allow him to.. finish what he planned.”

“Your sister..”

A mistake. Devyn’s eyes flashed in anger and she turned a full circle, taking in all the Powers. “My sister is dead because of you, because of her practice of your laws, your magic. It was she who was forsaken. That is why I no longer followed the Old Ways. How long before I suffered her same fate? You didn’t stop them from killing her.. certainly it would not have mattered if I lived or died.”

“Insolent child. You dare speak this way to us? We who have existed since before time began, who will exist after you are less than a mote of dust?”

“I dare. You took away the woman I loved more than anything in this world. Took her away from me, and from the man who loved her. I was spared today, true, but is the price I will pay worth it? It matters not. Exact your punishment, for nothing you do to me will ever equal the pain I have lived with for the past twelve years.”

“You think not, child? Then hear our punishment.”

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