Pairing: Willow/Spike
Summary: A darker take on what happened during "Lover's Walk".
Feedback: Please
Distribution: Anyone who already has my stuff can have this. Anybody else, just ask.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to Joss and a bunch of other people who are not now and have never been me.
Dedication: This is for Tonya, in gratitude for doing more for me than I can ever repay!
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"There will be no having of any kind."
Oh how Willow wanted to go back in time and take those words back. Funny how much of a difference one thoughtless outburst had made in her life. If only she had known.
But she hadn't known. And she had said it. And Spike had responded, not as the drunken, lovesick vampire he had appeared to be a moment earlier. But as the ruthless, sadistic Master vampire she had read about in the Watcher's Diaries.
He had pushed her against the wall and then grabbed her by her hair, holding the broken bottle to her throat.
"So there'll be no having, will there, little red? What do you say we have a chat about that? Cause I think there will be some having. Right now."
He hadn't bothered to remove her clothes, simply pushing up her skirt and ripping off her underwear. Then he had undone his own jeans and thrust into her dry, tight channel, breaking the barrier of her virginity without a thought as Willow bit her lip `til she drew blood to stifle her screams. She'd wanted to keep from awakening Xander, terrified of what would happen if he saw what Spike was doing
"Good girl," Spike had said. "Saved yourself for me, did you, pretty red? You feel good. All tight and warm. Am I making you feel good?"
Spike had wrapped her legs around him as he pumped into her at a rapid pace. Willow had looked away as Spike asked his question, trying to focus on anything but the agony between her legs as the vampire heedlessly thrust into her.
"Look at me, bitch," Spike had growled, forcing her to look into his eyes. "You look at me while I'm fucking you."
He had then begun to grunt and moan as his thrusts picked up speed, never taking his eyes away from hers. Then he had climaxed, filling her body with his cold seed and her soul with disgust and self- loathing.
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Willow couldn't stop thinking about what had happened to her that night. Thankfully, Xander didn't know, having remained blissfully unconscious until shortly before the kiss they had shared. Willow had hoped the kiss would make her feel clean again.
But it didn't. And what happened afterwards made it worse. Oz and Cordelia reinforced the voice inside of Willow that told her she was dirty, a whore, forever unclean.
Did Oz know about Spike? Surely his werewolf senses must have told him. But then again, he'd been so upset about the kiss he'd seen. And Willow had spent hours in the shower when she'd gotten home. Spike's scent must have been washed away.
Willow could only hope so. And hope that the looks Angel kept casting her way meant nothing. Things were bad enough as it was. She hoped that Spike would stay away from Sunnydale forever so that she could just forget everything that he had done to her. And that no one would ever know her dirty little secret.
The End