Warning; This fic has contained rape and will continue to deal with the aftermath of that event as well as issues of power and sexual dynamics.
Pairing: Willow/Angel
Summary: Willow sees a chance of escape.
Distribution: If you already have something of mine, you may have this. If not, just ask me first.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to Joss and a bunch of other people who are not now and have never been me.
Author's Notes: As you no doubt already know, this fic is seriously AU and diverges quite far from canon. Therefore, much of Season Three does not happen in this fic. With my apologies to Vamp Willow fans, Doppelgangland is among the many things that do NOT happen in my tale.
Author's Notes Two: Huge thanks go out to Kat, who told me honestly what was wrong with my previous draft of this chapter and gave me helpful advice that told me what I needed to do to turn it into something much better. I don't know how good this chapter is, that's up to my readers to judge, but I do know that it is much better than it was! I love you, Kat!!!
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"I got accepted to Stanford. And I've decided to go there."
Experience should have taught Willow not to speak in haste. Not to spout off when nervous or flustered. But she had. Just like that night in the factory that seemed like it had happened so long ago. And that seemed like it had happened only yesterday.
Oz had approached her with the desire for them to get back together. And Willow had turned him down, gently but firmly. She had thought that would be the end of it. But she had been wrong. Apparently, Oz had talked to Buffy before approaching her. Because, when Willow entered the library after school for her usual research duty, she had been immediately enveloped in an exuberant hug by a squealing Slayer.
"Oh, Willow. I am so happy for you! I knew Oz would forgive you! So, where is he? Is he gonna be here soon?"
Willow's heart had sunk as she had looked at Xander's happy face and Buffy's overly perky grin. How was she going to deal with this? Why did they have to know? Of all the times for Oz to turn into "communication-guy". She had to think of a plausible excuse for turning down a reconciliation with the werewolf-guitarist. One that would keep the others from either believing she still had a crush on Xander or that there was another guy in her life and wanting to find out who it was. So she had said the first thing that popped into her head.
"Yeah, I was gonna tell you guys. I just didn't know the right way. But I'm going away to college in the fall. I got accepted to Stanford and I decided to go there. It's a really great school.and my parents really want me to go there.and it wouldn't be fair to Oz to get back together with him and then leave."
Willow's babble had been immediately cut off. Xander, Buffy, Wesley, Cordelia, and Giles had all broken in at once.
"What am I gonna do without my best bud?"
"But I thought we were both gonna go to UC Sunnydale!"
"Congratulations, Miss Rosenberg. You're to be commended for taking such a fine opportunity."
"Have fun at Geek U. I'm sure you'll fit in perfectly. I hear they don't have any parties at all there."
"We'll all miss you. But of course, you should get the best education you can. You're far too bright to hold yourself back."
The last remark from Giles had earned him a glare from Buffy that Willow could barely keep from chuckling at. Buffy was probably only upset about Willow leaving because she'd have to do her own homework, Willow had thought to herself.
Once upon a time, Cordelia's remark might have stung, but this time it hadn't fazed Willow in the least. The only thing that had even slightly worried Willow was the inscrutable look shot at her by Faith. But she had chalked it up to the fact that that was just Faith. The look had probably meant nothing at all. After all, she and Faith knew each other little and liked each other even less.
So Willow had left the library, confident that she had dealt with the Oz issue satisfactorily and experiencing a burgeoning sense of hope as an idea took shape. Why not leave Sunnydale? She had dozens of acceptance letters and scholarship offers. Why not pick one, one that she hadn't told her friends about? One that would allow her to go somewhere where no one knew her.where she could start over and become someone else. Someone who didn't fight demons, who didn't carry a stake and holy water in her purse, someone who hadn't been raped by a vampire. And someone who wasn't involved with Angel.
As much as she had come to crave and depend on her relationship with the enigmatic vampire, Willow could see how unhealthy it had become. There was a dark, inchoate something lurking in the background of their encounters that had begun to terrify her.
It wasn't anything he said. Angel said little, most of his words seemingly chosen more to elicit confidences and revelations from her than to contribute any of his own.
And it wasn't anything he did, per se, as he was always gentle and asked nothing but to be allowed to please her.
But still there was something that frightened her, something inscrutable, insidious, and dangerous in its power to entrap and consume.
So Willow had made up her mind. She would take the scholarship she'd been offered at UCLA, a school she had never even considered attending before, leave Sunnydale, and never look back.
That night, she had gone to sleep with a sense of both peace and anticipation, almost happy for the first time since Spike had brutally raped her and destroyed her in the factory. She was going to escape, fly free somewhere where no one could find her, or would even look.
That feeling, unfortunately, hadn't lasted. Some time after she had drifted into the most restful slumber she could recall having, Willow was awakened by the touch of a hand on her cheek. Frozen in fear, she had opened her eyes. And as she met the gold-tinged brown eyes looking down at her, she knew that escape had never been possible at all.
"So, Willow. When were you going to tell me that you were leaving?"
The End