The Bonds that Tie

Hidden Emotions part 3

Author: heather

Pairings: Willow/Angel/Spike

Rating: overall NC17

Summary: Picks up where A Kink in the Plan left off... Willow and Angel are mated, Spike finally has his body back and now Willow can't seem to help but notice it.

Distribution: My site: http://www.geocities.com/heathervamped

Feedback: Well, yeah.

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. :(

Spoilers: None

Notes: I don't expect anyone to remember what happened in the first two parts of this story, so I'll try to give a brief summary for those that don't feel like reading them again... Willow moved to LA after spending some time in Europe with the other Scoobies. She and Angel started to notice each other, and with some prodding from Spikes ghost, finally get together. Eve gets what she deserves for trying to mess with Willow's brain.  In the second part, Spike is corporeal again and finds himself in the bedroom with Willow and Angel, with somewhat disasterous consequences. Everyone has a good time until Spike crosses the line and bites Willow. Spike suffers more than his fair share of punishment from Angel for the transgression.  No one has seen him since...

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~Part: 1~

By Wednesday, Willow was worried.  It had been four days since she had brought Spike to the penthouse as a gift for her mate and she hadn't seen him since.  Normally, he was at the office every day looking for "a spot of violence."  Wolfram & Hart had no shortage of clients to fill that particular need and the blonde vampire found his time there quite fulfilling.  Though mentions of his absence were made in passing by the others, none of them seemed to be concerned.  Of course, none of them knew what had transpired between him and Angel or the role that Willow had played in that horrible scene.  She could only hope Spike would be as eager to keep them in the dark as she and Angel were.

That evening, just after sunset, Angel and Gunn left to track down an unknown demon that was wreaking havoc in the city.  Since it was reported to be only one demon, they didn't feel it necessary to bring the rest of the gang.  Though she often would have argued the point and insisted on coming, Willow decided to let it go this time.  They didn't have to know why, and since they didn't ask, she didn't mention that she had other plans.

As soon as they were gone, she slipped out and made her way to Spike's apartment.  He had promptly moved out of Wolfram & Hart the very next day after Willow had restored his body.  His place was nothing special, but it had all the essentials.  There was a serviceable bed, a living area with couch, TV, and Xbox, and a tiny kitchenette with a fridge and microwave.  It was in the basement of a small apartment building, with access to the street via a private door and a flight of cement stairs.

Willow pounded on the door with all her strength in case Spike was asleep.  She knew it wasn't wise to wake a sleeping vampire under ordinary circumstances, but she had to know if he was ok.  She expelled a breath of relief when his familiar voice drifted through the door.  "Yeah?  Whaddya want?"

He didn't sound good, but at least he wasn't dust, so that was a step in the right direction.  "Spike?  It's Willow.  I want to see you."  Sounds of bolts being unfastened filled the silence following her plea.  The splintery old door creaked wearily as it was pulled open for her.  Willow gave a little gasp at the sight on the other side.

The vampire stood before her, leaning on the door, in his standard black jeans, but nothing else.  Under normal circumstances, that would have earned him a raised eyebrow and appreciative smirk, but not today.  Though the wounds Angel had given him were healing, he looked terrible. The dingy yellow light of the street lamp shining down into the basement entrance illuminated and accentuated the unhealthy color his usually vibrant white skin had acquired.  He had a purple smudge under the eye that had connected with Willow's bedroom wall, and the vicious bite Angel had given him was still visible as a pink scar on his shoulder.  He was drunk and it was clear that he hadn't bathed in the time he'd been missing.  His hair looked greasy and his face was marred by red, puffy eyes that indicated a lack of sleep and overindulgence in the whiskey bottle dangling from one hand.  He did not smell nice and there was dried blood in the corners of his mouth and on his chin.

Willow hurried inside without being invited and closed the door.  Spike paid no attention to her and shuffled back over to the couch where he flopped down in front of the TV, which was showing Jeopardy, and took another swig from the bottle.  "Miss me then, did you pet?"  He asked, still looking at the TV and not her.

"I was worried," she admitted.  "Where have you been all this time?  What have you been doing?"  The answers to her questions were now self evident, but she had come to ask them and could think of nothing else to do now that she was here.

Spike made a sweeping gesture.  "Been here.  Been doing this."  He took another gulp to demonstrate.

She came over to him and snatched the bottle away.  He didn't try to stop her.  "Why are you doing this?  What's wrong with you?  Is it Angel?"

This time he looked at her.  "I'm doing this because I feel like it.  There's nothing wrong with me and if there was, it sure as hell wouldn't be Angel.  You think I'd hide out in his shithole on account a him roughing me up a little?  If I did that, I never woulda left the lair back in our wicked days!"

Willow stood next to the couch looking at him, her mouth hanging slightly open.  "Is it me, then?" She whispered.

"No.  Yes.  I don't know!  Did you really come here to play 20 questions?  At least Alex is kind enough to give some answers.  You could learn a thing or two from him!"  He crossed his arms over his bare chest and turned away to watch Final Jeopardy.

Willow sat down next to him and read the answer on the screen that the contestants were busily scribbling a question for.  "What is a fruit fly?"  She announced.

Spike glared out of the corner of one eye.  She was right, of course.  "Alright, Willow.  Now that you've gone and ruined the fun and suspense for me, what are you really doing here?"

"I told you I was worried.  It's not like you to just disappear for days!  And... I missed you," she admitted.  When Spike looked a little too pleased with himself, she added, "And I was right to worry, you look terrible!"

That wiped the beginnings of a smirk right off his face.  "Well thanks for that, love.  You know it's not easy dragging yourself for blocks, bleeding and torn and used.  Just been getting my strength back is all.  Feeding, resting-"

"Drinking," Willow finished.  "And I'm not real sure about the sleeping, but I'll believe the feeding."  She made a face and gestured at his mouth.  "Coulda maybe done some washing too."

Spike wiped the back of his hand across his lips and saw the flakes of blood that came off.  He shrugged.  "Not like I could see it in the mirror," he reminded her.

"Why don't you take a shower and then we can talk some more?"

He sniffed under one arm and looked back at her, "That pungent am I?  Right then, I'll be back in a minute."  He slunk away to the bathroom, looking more than a little crestfallen that she was displeased with him.

Willow searched through his kitchen and found that he only had a few more packets of blood and would have had to venture out soon.  She was glad she came when she did.  She shuddered trying to imagine the reaction of anyone who would have otherwise seen him the way he looked when she came in.  She pulled out one of the blood bags and dumped the contents into a clean mug.  There were no dirty mugs in the sink, but she had a good idea that was because Spike had been ripping into the bags with his teeth and not bothering with dishes.  It would explain his face, anyway.

Five minutes later, a refreshed and clean Spike took the mug of warm blood from her and they settled back on the beat up old couch with the TV off.  He was once again in nothing but a pair of black jeans, but Willow could tell it was a different, clean pair, and his hair was washed and drying into adorable little curls with no gel to weigh it down.  He smelled of lightly spicy cologne or deodorant, Willow wasn't sure which, but it was a pleasant change.  Maybe a little too pleasant, as she now found herself willingly admiring all of his visible attributes, which had gone unnoticed beneath her concern for his well being.  Now that the TV was off, the only light came from one dim lamp in the corner of the room, which was much more flattering than the harsh glare of the streetlamp.

Spike took a sip from his mug, careful to lick his lips afterwards to avoid the unattractive blood mustache.  He wrinkled his nose a little.  "Not nearly as good as yours."

Willow started and looked away.  She had not forgotten that Spike had tasted her blood.  She would not ever forget that, it had been, for a brief moment, one of the best feelings of her life.  Still, it was not a moment she felt she should be reliving just then.  "What Angel did to you was wrong," she said, shifting the subject.  "He let his demony urges out a little more than I had planned and went all psycho-possessive-vamp on you.  Anyway, I let him know that I didn't like what he did."

"Really now?"  Spike set his mug on the end table to give Willow his full attention.  "'Cause that's not what I saw.  To me it looked more like, "Oh, Spike is unconscious now?  Good, let's fuck!"  Or was I just hallucinating from my concussion?"

Willow winced and shook her head.  "It wasn't like that.  I was just confused.  I really was worried about you, but you weren't dusty, so I didn't know what else to do for you."

"Still not seeing how balling Angel was expressing your concern."

"Oh, well I was distracting him so he wouldn't hurt you anymore?"  She smiled and raised an eyebrow to see if he would buy it.

Spike just laughed.  "Well I guess it worked.  He hasn't been by with any wooden implements, so I'd say you did a fair job at that.  Is he still sore at me?"

"No, not at all.  We haven't really talked about it much, but he did say he felt like you were all square now and hoped you felt that way too."

Spike nodded.  "Good enough, I suppose.  I shouldn't have done what I did.  I see it all worked out for you in the end." He indicated the mark on her neck that Angel had made the night he put Spike's face through the wall.

Willow's fingers moved to the spot and rubbed it absently.  "More or less.  I never wanted to see you hurt.  I'm sorry.  And, thank you, Spike."

"Um, what is it you're doing there, love?"

Willow's eyes widened as she realized that the hand not on her neck had moved of its own accord to Spike's chest and begun stroking his bare skin.  She yanked her hand away and stared at it as though she'd never seen it before.

Spike chuckled at her reaction.  "I didn't say you had to stop."  He reached out and took the offending hand in his.  When she didn't respond he said, "Willow, it's ok if you're attracted to me.  It's only natural.  And I think you already know the feeling's mutual."

She smiled at him but reclaimed her hand.  "I don't know what it is about you.  I mean, I love Angel, but when I'm around you I feel like I'm not in complete control of myself."

Spike tilted his head to the side and shrugged.  "I get that a lot."

She slapped him on the arm and laughed.  "Stop it!  I'm serious!"

"Alright, sorry.  What do you want me to do about it?  I'm a handsome man, not my fault really."

"Yes you are, that's not the question.  I want us to be able to be around each other like we used to be, but for some reason, it's hard now."

"Since I got my body back?"

She nodded, keeping her hands folded in her lap.  "Ever since I did that spell, when you come into the room it's like I'm drawn to you, I want to touch you, and not, you know, like shake your hand."

Spike leaned forward and grasped both of her hands, placing her palms on his chest.  She did not resist.  "I get the same feeling, love.  When I see you, I want you to touch me.  You can touch me all your little heart desires.  I'm yours, Willow."  He released her hands, which remained on his chest, and caught her around the waist, pulling her onto his lap.

"Spike, no we shouldn't -" Her protest was cut short by his lips pressing against hers.  The intimate contact brought all the feelings she tried to repress to the surface and she kissed him back without thought, giving in to her unexplained desires.

After a moment, she realized once again what she was doing and pushed him away, ripping her lips from his and sliding back onto her own side of the couch.  He let her go but looked sulky.

Still breathing hard from the kiss she said, "It would be a lot easier if you didn't want me to do these things.  How am I supposed to resist you when you sit there looking like that, practically begging me with that pouty little lip to unbutton your jeans and ride you into the sunrise?"

Spike gaped at her and then, regaining his composure he smirked a little and replied, "I never said you had to resist doing any of that."

"No, Spike.  You're missing the point, here.  Why?  Why do you want me to do that, and why do I want to do it?  I've known you for years and we were never like this before.  I didn't want you and you didn't want me to want you.  What's different now?"

"What does it matter?  People change is all.  So we finally noticed what's been right in front of us all along.  Happens all the time.  I wouldn't have expected you to want me when I didn't have a soul anyway.  And how was I supposed to even hope you would want me when you were running around with those little girlfriends of yours?"

"What about you?  Did you want me, even back then?  What about Buffy?"

"Well sure, I was obsessed with her, you know that.  Doesn't mean I woulda turned you down had you made me an offer, pet."  He wiggled an eyebrow at her, earning himself another slap on the arm.  "You were always on the radar, just didn't think I had a chance.  Not that I think I have one now, either.  I know you have this "perfect love" going for you and I don't want to mess it up, as much as I want to introduce you to the bed in my luxury suite here.  I'm glad you're happy."

The defeated look on his face made her heart ache.  She wanted him to be happy too, and she wanted to be the one that made him happy, even if she didn't understand why she wanted that.  "I don't know," she said.

"What's that, pet?"

"I don't know if I can really be happy while I'm having these feelings for you and not acting on them or making them stop."

"Well, if you do change your mind about acting on them..."

He stopped at her stern glare.  "You know that wouldn't be right.  Not like this.  Not without Angel."

"Hell, bring him too if it makes you happy.  You know he'd do it for you."

"He might, but he wouldn't like it.  Not if he thought he had to do it for me to be happy.  I have to make it stop."

Spike looked away, clearly hurt.  She took his chin in her hand and made him face her.  "You know what you mean to me.  That will never change.  You'll always have a place in my heart; I just need you out of my head."

Willow stood up to leave.  "I'm glad you're ok.  Are you coming back to work?"

"Yeah, I suppose I can't rot away down here forever.  Got places to go, people to annoy, and things to kill."  He got up and brushed past her to open the door.  Willow tried to ignore the tingle that zipped through her at his lightest touch.

"See you tomorrow," she said.  She stood on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek and then hurried out into the cool night air trying not to think about just how hard it had been to leave.

~Part: 2~

When Willow returned home, Angel was already back from his demon hunt.  "Where have you been?  It's late," he said, when she came into the bedroom.

"I went to check on Spike."

"You went to see Spike?  By yourself?"  His tone suggested that he had an idea about the effect his childe had on his mate and didn't like the implication of what that could mean if they were alone together for any length of time.

"Yes and yes."  She knew she wasn't being forthcoming, but she didn't want to get into that kind of discussion with Angel just then.  She began to get undressed, hoping to distract him.

"I should have known.  You smell like him."

Willow tensed a little and then realized that Angel's comment also meant he would be able to tell that they hadn't had sex, so she was spared trying to convince him of that.

"I wanted to make sure he was ok.  He hasn't been around, in case you didn't notice."

"I noticed.  Didn't care."

Angel was never a very good liar.  At least, not with Willow.  "Ok, well then you won't care that he's fine.  And you won't care that I talked him into coming back to work tomorrow."

Sitting down on their bed, Angel kicked off his shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt, not looking at his mate, as if that would keep her from noticing the relief that flitted across his face.  "I also don't care if he forgives me or not," he added.

Willow played along.  "Good.  Since you don't care, I don't have to tell you that he does or that he seemed all pleased that you weren't all mad and grrr at him anymore."  Willow hung up her clothes in their closet and crawled into bed with Angel, who was already naked and waiting for her.

He pulled her close and switched off the light by the bed.  In the safety of the darkness, he gave voice to his real concerns.  "What is it with you two?  I want you to be honest with me, Willow.  What's going on?"

She shifted so that she was looking into the dark where she figured his eyes should be.  "I'm always honest with you.  The truth is, I don't know.  Part of me doesn't want there to be anything more going on than there was when he was ghostly.  Just nice, innocent friendly teasing stuff.  The other part, well, it wants something else.  Something like last weekend, only without the savage beating at the end."

Angel was silent for awhile, stroking Willow's hair and thinking.  Finally he asked, "What does Spike want?"

"He wants me to be happy."

"That makes two of us.  Are you happy, Willow?"

"You know I am."

"But you could be happier?  With Spike?"

Willow sat up and reached across Angel to turn the light back on.  She needed him to see that she meant what she said.  "No, of course not.  How can you ask me that?  You know there's no one I'd rather be with than you!  After everything, how -" She stopped when Angel shook his head.

"That's not what I meant.  I don't mean Spike, instead of me, I mean Spike in addition to me."

Willow sighed involuntarily as unbidden images of lying between her two demon lovers flooded her mind.  She blinked hard to clear her thoughts and said, "No, that wouldn't make you happy, and how could I be happy if you weren't happy?"

"But if you're not happy, then I'm not happy either, so that means you're not happy twice."

"What?  How twice?"

"Well, once because you're not with Spike, and then again because I'm not happy with you being unhappy."

Willow frowned and shook her head.  "Can we not use the word happy again for awhile?"

Angel clicked the light off again and pulled Willow back down to lie on his chest.  "I know you love me and that nothing will change that.  I don't love Spike, but I understand how he feels about you and I can't fault him for it.  I also understand the way you feel about him, because I felt it too, a long time ago."

Willow groaned her frustration.  "It doesn't make any sense though!  I get why you had it bad for him, but why me?  Why can't I just love you and have that be more than good enough like it was a month ago?"

"It's Spike," Angel said, as if that explained everything.

"I told him I wanted to stop feeling like this."

She could feel his chest expand a little on hearing that.  "That must have made his day."

"Not so much.  I think he was hurt."

"I wouldn't want to hear that from you, either.  Kinda bad for the ego."

"Yeah, but I like wanting you.  It makes sense, I love you.  With Spike, I just want wild monkey sex and no emotional stuff."

"Mmm, maybe we've talked about this enough for one night," Angel suggested, patting her arm.

"Oh God!  I'm sorry, why on earth would I think you'd want to hear stuff like that!  I'm such an idiot!"

"No, it's not that.  It's just that if you keep talking about sex, we're going to have to have some now and I don't think you're in the right frame of mind for that."

"Actually, wouldn't this be the perfect frame of mind?  Here I am obsessing about sex, that seems like a really good time to have it."

"Yeah, but you're obsessing about sex with Spike, and while that should probably bother me more than it does, what would really bother me is to have sex with you while you're thinking about sex with him."

"Ok, I get it.  Just stop before we have to put sex on the list of forbidden words with happy."

"Right.  Got it.  No more sex."

"Would you do it again?"

"What's that, Willow?"

"Arg!  I was trying not to say it!  Would you have sex with Spike again?"

"Oh, that.  I don't know, would he have, er, do it with me again?"

"He didn't say.  And you didn't answer my question."

"I don't wanna."

"Don't wanna what? Have sex with Spike?  Or answer my question?"

"Answer your question.  I don't even want to think about it one way or the other."

Willow trailed one hand down his abdomen to his groin and circled around his growing erection.  "I think you are thinking about it, whether you want to or not."

He could hear her smiling, even if he couldn't see it with her face buried in his chest.  "You want him too," she teased.

"No, I want you.  You're the one naked and pressed against me."  He bit back a groan when she started stroking him lightly.

"Well, you're also naked and pressed against me, and I happen to want you just as bad."  This time Angel's hand did a little wandering and found that it was so.  He seemed willing to believe that her response was for him, and rolled them over, penetrating her without further discussion.

Their lips joined, communicating their need without words, and for the next hour, only they knew if either of them thought about a certain blonde vampire.  If it was so or not, they each refrained from speaking his name, or screaming it at an inopportune moment.

When it was done and Willow lay panting in her lover's arms, she made a decision.  "I'm going to talk to Wesley," she said.

With their earlier conversation lost in the haze of his lust, Angel was confused.  "Talk to him about what?"

"About Spike!  And me.  Or, my reaction to him anyway.  Maybe he knows a way to make it stop."

"Wait, wait, you're gonna tell WESLEY that you have the hots for Spike!  Why am I not loving this plan?"

"Mmm, probably because it doesn't look good for you to have your mate chasing after your childe," Willow said.

"No, it's just that, well yeah, that's exactly it."

"And that's exactly why I'm going to do it.  See what we just did here?  That should be enough to keep anyone in total, permanent bliss."

"But it's not for you?  Not anymore?"

Willow sighed.  "It's close.  I mean, it was really, really good.  Great even, and right now I'm totally satisfied.  I just know that the next time I see Spike, I'm gonna feel like I'm missing out on something.  So you see why I have to do something?"

Angel grumbled something Willow couldn't hear.  "What was that?"

"I just said I don't see why we have to announce it to the world."

"It's not the world, it's just Wesley.  If it makes you feel better, I can wipe his memory of our conversation once he's told me what I need to know."

"Willow!"

She giggled.  "Well, I could.  But I won't.  I'll just threaten him with previously undiscovered venereal diseases if he talks."

"Better.  Although, wouldn't it be easier to just have Spike over once in awhile?"

"Do you really want to do that?"  Willow asked, trying to keep the hope out of her voice.

"That sounds too much like that other question.  Besides, he'd never go for it.  If I know him, he wants you to himself or not at all.  He was never big on sharing."

"Mmm, so I've heard.  Well then, Wesley it is.  If he doesn't know what's wrong with me, we'll just have to keep Spike tied up in the guest room to use for our depraved sexual needs."

"Willow!" Angel said again.

"What?  He'd learn to like it."  She heard him make another sound of disbelief.  "Oh, alright, I'm joking.  Mostly."

"I think you're right about talking to Wesley.  I'm kinda starting to worry about you now.  You're beginning to talk about sex like a vampire."

"Gee, imagine that."

"When are you going to have this little chat?  I'd like to not be anywhere near the office."

"Probably during lunch tomorrow.  Hey, maybe you can go have lunch with Spike.  I don't really want him walking in on that conversation either."

"Maybe I can show him the guestroom."

"Angel!"

~Part: 3~

Willow took a deep breath and knocked on the door to Wesley's office.  The former watcher had been a big help in constructing the spell that restored Spike to his fleshy self.  If anyone would have a clue about how the spell could have affected her, it would be him.

Even though vampires didn't need invitations in office buildings, old habits are hard to break and Wesley came to open the door himself, instead of simply yelling for her to come in.  Seeing the fidgety redhead on the other side, he immediately looked concerned and ushered her in.  "What is it Willow?  Has something happened to Angel?"

"Huh?  No, not at all.  Why would you think that?"  They settled down in the pair of chairs in front of the desk where Wesley's half-eaten lunch was spread out.

"Well, no offense Willow, but you don't generally come here during work hours unless something is amiss."

"Oh, no, nothing's wrong.  I was just hoping we could talk.  I do actually have a little problem, but it's more personal that work related."

"I see.  I'd be happy to help if I can.  What seems to be the trouble?"

"It's Spike," she said.  She looked down at her hands twisting in her lap, suddenly finding herself unwilling to continue.

Wesley sat back in his chair and tittered.  "Ah, having second thoughts about restoring him are you?  Has he been as big a nuisance to you as to the rest of us?  He is something of an unknown, always popping up during battles when we're not expecting him."

"This is different.  I don't mind him being around and that's kinda the problem."

Frowning, Wesley leaned forward to study Willow's expressions.  "I'm not sure I follow."

"I'm going to have to just come out and say this and it's gonna sound really, really bad, so you have to promise not to be weird about it, ok?"

Wesley opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to respond.  Finally he said, "I'll do my best not to be... weird."

"It's just that when I'm with Spike, I want to be with Spike, and I don't know why!"

"You want to be...  Oh!  I see."  Wesley's eyes were wide and he clamped one hand over his mouth in effort not to say anything that Willow might be able to construe as weird.  When he trusted himself to speak, he lowered his hand and said, "You think this may be related to the spell you performed to bring back his body?"

"What else could it be?  I've know Spike since high school, and yeah, granted back then he was the Big Bad Soulless Vampire, but even after he was good, I never felt like this.  Everything changed after the spell.  I can barely control myself around him!"

"Yes, I can understand where that might be upsetting, especially given that you are in a committed relationship and not free to give in to these urges.  Though, perhaps under the circumstances, that is for the best.  Is Angel aware of this predicament by any chance?"

Willow nodded.  "He's not mad at me, but he's not thrilled, either."

"And Spike?"

Rolling her eyes, Willow admitted, "Oh, he just loves it.  He only wishes I would just give in and do - what it is I want to do."

"So, the feeling is reciprocated.  Interesting.  Yes, that does seem to point to the spell, especially if you're sure that Spike did not consider you in that light previously."

Willow shook her head. "No, he might have noticed me, maybe had a little crush, but that's it. We were strictly friends. Nothing like this at all."

"Let me see if I understand: You and Spike go from mortal enemies, to reluctant allies, to fast friends, and now suddenly, you are irresistibly attracted to each other. What's more, this doesn't bother Spike in the least, but for Angel's sake, you'd like to know what's going on and how to stop it, if possible."

"Yes, and soon. It actually seems to be getting worse in the last week or so."

"I'd like to help you, Willow, but to be perfectly honest, I don't know what I can do. We worked on the spell together and I doubt that I can tell you anything you don't already know about it. Since you performed the ritual yourself, I'm afraid only you know what really happened."

"Please, Wesley. You have to help me go over it again. I must have missed something. This can't be normal!"

"I'll do what I can, of course. But please consider, even if we do find something in the spell to account for this strange side effect, what can be done? Ordinarily, if a spell goes wrong, we would simply reverse it. In this case, I hardly think it would be fair to ask Spike to make that kind of sacrifice."

"No, it wouldn't. I don't think I could reverse that spell even if I wanted to. What if we could do a new spell just to counteract that particular effect of the original one?"

"Perhaps. We will need to find precisely what it was in the restoration spell that produced the effect and go from there."

"Hey, great! It's starting to sound like we have a plan here!" Willow grinned and got up to leave. "I don't want to keep you from your lunch. When do you have time to work on this?"

"Why don't you meet me back here right after closing? I'll dig up my notes and look them over in the meantime, and you should do the same."

"Thanks, Wes. I appreciate it."

"Certainly. Happy to help." He opened the door for her and smiled.

Willow was almost out into the hall and then turned back. "Oh, and Wes? If you tell anyone else about this, I'm afraid I'll have to give you syphorrhea."

~Part: 4~

The papers spread out on her desk refused to reveal any hidden secrets.  Every word was etched in memory from her diligent preparation in the days before the ritual had been performed.  Willow hadn't wanted to take any risks.  She'd had enough spells go wrong in the past, and even though she was far more competent now than in her early days of toying with witchcraft, her previous failures haunted her as she organized the wording for Spike's spell.

Everything looked as accurate as ever.  She had called on all the right Gods and Goddesses of Life and Death, the right elements were in place, and she hadn't inadvertently insulted any deity.  None of those she called doubled as Gods of Love or Lust, so that shouldn't be an issue.  The last step had been to reach out and gather the atoms and molecules that had composed Spike's body and his demon, that were released and scattered by the fire from the amulet, and bring them together to reform around his ghost.

It wasn't easy to convince all those billions of atoms of released matter to come back together and give up their freedom to be part of one being again.  In the end, after hours of chanting and deep concentration, she achieved success and Spike stood before her, man, demon, and soul in one.

Willow was so engrossed in recalling every aspect of the ritual that she almost didn't hear the gentle knock at her door.  "Come in," she called, well aware that the door to an office afforded her no protection.

A concerned face peeked around to see her.  "You busy?"

"Never too busy for you, Angel.  What's up?"

Her love came in and shut the door before making his way over to sit in front of her desk.  His eyes moved over the papers spread out before her.  "Find anything good yet?"

"No, not really.  It all looks the same as ever.  Stupid spell.  Magic always has consequences, you'd think I would have learned that by now."

"What did Wesley say?"

"He's looking at it too, but he wasn't very helpful.  Did you actually have lunch with Spike?"

"Yeah.  I asked him upstairs for a drink.  We talked."

Willow sensed there was something he wasn't telling her.  "And?"

"Um, tell me about the spell," he asked suddenly.

She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious that he was trying to change the subject.  "Ok, but weren't you sitting right there?"

"Yeah but I didn't understand most of what you were doing.  Just tell me in plain English what you did."

Willow laid it out for him as simply as she could, occasionally referring to her notes or drawing little diagrams.  When she was done, she saw that Angel had his eyes closed and it looked like he wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream.

"Angel?  What is it?"  She came around the desk and kneeled on the floor next to his chair.

"What is it?  Oh, that's a very good question."  He opened his eyes and looked at her.  "I didn't want to believe it, but he's right.  He's right!  How could I let this happen?"  He banged his forehead with the heel of his hand repeatedly until Willow grabbed his arm and made him stop.

"Tell me what's going on!"

He took both of her hands and let out a little hysterical laugh before getting a grip on himself and clearing his throat.  "Willow.  You're Spike's sire.  Congratulations Mom, it's a boy!"  He let go of her and started laughing again and slamming his fists against his thighs. Frightened, Willow stood up and shook him by the shoulders.

"Angel, what the hell are you talking about?  What's wrong with you?"

He kept laughing and hitting himself.  "You're Spike's sire!  You!  You called the demon and now it's yours!"

Slowly Willow began to absorb Angel's words even as she continued to try to calm him down.  At last he relaxed and shook his head.  "I don't believe it.  Well, how do you feel, Willow?  We can't have children, but we have a childe together.  Spike!"

"Angel, I don't know what's wrong with you, but I can't be Spike's sire.  That doesn't make any sense."  She pulled the other chair close to him and sat down, holding his hand.  "Why would you say something like that?"

Angel was nearly back to himself now.  "Willow, listen to me.  You are Spike's sire now as much as I am, maybe more.  You called the demon down into his body, gave it life again.  That's why he's so drawn to you.  It doesn't matter that you didn't make him a vampire originally. The demon is bonded to you now."

Willow was silent as she tried to find a logical argument against this impossibility.  "No.  It can't be.  I mean, you're a vampire, so sure, you have the demon and he has the demon so you can do the whole bond-y thing, but I'm just human.  I CAN'T be a sire!"

"Yeah, and vampires can't have souls and demons can't be good and a thousand other things aren't possible but still happen.  Come on Willow, you grew up in Sunnydale.  Where's that open mind you had?"

"Ok, let me get this straight.  I put the demon back in his body and suddenly it imprints on me like I'm its mommy?  What is it?  A demon or a duckling?"

"How do you think a vampire is created?  A demon is brought into a human body.  That's what you did.  Maybe you didn't use the traditional method, but whether you like it or not, you made a vampire, so that makes you a sire."

"What about you?  What does that make you now?"

"It's hard to say.  Spike's demon still remembers mine from its birth, but since then it died and you brought it back.  So it's like I'm the sire of its former life and you're the sire of its new life.  We still have a bond, but I think you take precedence to it now."

"So, our attraction - "

"Is the sire-childe bond," Angel finished her thought.  "If you were a vampire, you would want Spike under your control.  You would go hunting and feeding with him and he would do anything to please you.  You would also desire him, both for your pleasure and his.  Your ability to give him pleasure would only cement his devotion to you and encourage his submission."

"And since I'm not a vampire?"

"Well, obviously you have no inclination to take him hunting, and you could take him out to eat with you but it's not the same as when vampires feed together.  All that's left is the sex.  It's the only way his demon can show its devotion to you and the only way you can express your power over him."

"But I don't want to have power over him!  Do I?"  Now it was Willow's turn to batter her head with her fists.

Angel took her hands and tried to soothe his mate.  It wasn't her fault she was stuck with his rebellious childe.  "Maybe not consciously, but the bond is there even without a siring demon.  That's what's affecting you."

"Ok, so how do I make it go away."

"You don't.  Not without killing Spike, which is always an option, by the way," he said, trying to get her to lighten up a little.

Willow frowned and pulled away from him.  "I don't think so."

He smiled at her.  "I would never.  Don't forget, what you feel for him?  I've felt it too, and still do.  He's your childe, Willow.  Your family.  I wouldn't hurt him."

"So, I'm stuck like this."  She sighed and shook her head, wondering how she was supposed to act around Spike now.  "What did you do?  How did you resist him?"

Angel shifted in his chair.  "I didn't.  Not at first anyway.  Before I got the soul, we had no reason to resist.  We did what we wanted, when we wanted.  Which was often.  We hunted and fed and had each other every way you can think of and some you might not want to."

Willow smirked a little at this, not hating the images running through her overactive imagination.  "What about now?"

"Now, it's different.  For one thing, a lot of time has past since that early phase where sire and childe can't get enough of each other.  It's like a honeymoon period, it wears off after a few decades.  Once I was cursed, I left the family.  I was alone for a very long time.  I had a lot of other things on my mind, like all of the people I maimed and killed, and didn't have much energy left for lusting for my childe.  By the time we met again, it was like we didn't know each other.  A lot can change in that many years, even for vampires."

"So you can ignore him because it's been a long time since you sired him and you weren't together for most of it?  If I go away somewhere will we be able to forget about the bond too?"  Willow knew she was grasping at straws, but there had to be a way.

"I don't think it would be that easy.  When I left, Spike still had his precious Drusilla so it didn't hurt him as much.  Now he has you, so I'm off the hook again.  I have you for my mate so it's easier for me to ignore him.  What can I say?  You're prettier."  Willow giggled as he hoped she would.  He continued, "It was harder when he got his soul.  When he was in Sunnydale, I could feel him hurting and wanted to go to him, but I didn't think I'd be welcome.  When he was a ghost, I think it was easiest for everyone but him.  Now it will be hardest for you.  You're just lucky he does have a soul."

"Why?  What if he didn't?  Would he try to kill me?"

"No, but he would seduce you.  He wouldn't care about our relationship and whether it hurt you if I left.  He would be convinced that he was the one that could make you happy and give you pleasure.  Well, he still probably thinks that, but he knows you want to be with me."

"Ok, so I have this bond I can't break and this attraction that won't go away and a childe.  Boy, what a day!"

Angel smiled at her, but looked sad at the same time.  "I'm sorry Willow.  It's an awful thing to have this kind of responsibility just dumped on you.  I know you didn't ask for it."

"I know.  But what do I do?  If one of us leaving isn't an option, what is?  If he's here and I'm here, things are going to happen.  So, now what?"

"You just said it."

"What?"

"Things are going to happen."

"But -"

He put his fingers over her lips. "No, buts Willow.  Spike is your childe and it is inevitable that things will happen between you.  I can't and won't stand in the way of that.  I have no right, not even as your mate, to come between you and your childe."

"Will you answer me now?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you still want him too?"

"Yes, though not as intensely as you do."

"So, what does that mean?"

"That's up to you.  He'll be content only having you, just as he once had to be content to just have Drusilla when I left.  If he still feels the bond with me as I feel it with him, it will be your decision to let him come to my bed or not."

"That's a lot of pressure," Willow said, blinking away the pictures in her head of Spike's beautiful ass sliding up and down on her mate's cock.  She couldn't envision saying no to more of that, as long as she was allowed to watch.

"That's having a childe," he said.

~Part: 5~

For the second time that day, Willow found her sitting in front of Wesley's desk.  He wore a defeated look and wouldn't meet her eyes, which told Willow he had found nothing new about the spell to explain her reaction to Spike.  She tried to keep from grinning at how she imagined he would respond when he learned what was going on.

"How did it go today, Wes?  Find anything new that I might have missed?"

He picked up the notepad closest to him and flipped through it briefly as though referencing it to answer her question.  When he got to the last page, he threw it back on the desk, where it landed with a satisfying smack, ran his hand through his hair, and sighed.  "No, Willow, I'm afraid not.  I haven't the slightest idea what's going on."

"I do," she said.

"You... you do?  What?  Well, tell me!  What is it?"  He stared at her with his mouth slightly open, ready to suck in the breath of surprise at what she would reveal.

Willow could no longer suppress her smile.  She might still have hundreds of questions about what it meant for her to be Spike's sire, but none of that could take away from her satisfaction at shocking the man before her by telling him the two vampires had solved what he could not.  She inhaled dramatically and said in a rush, "According to what Spike told Angel, I called Spike's demon back to him and now I'm his sire."

Wesley did not suck in his breath of surprise, he actually seemed to stop breathing all together.  Willow rapped her knuckles on the desk in front of the stunned man.  "Wes, you in there?  Say something!"

He blinked rapidly and finally gasped for the air he lacked.  "You're what?  Willow!  Do you know what this means?"

"It means that Spike has a serious Oedipus complex?  Again?"

"Well, yes, that's part of it." He paused to consider it, then waved his hand dismissing that aspect of the situation. "This is amazing! It all makes perfect sense. You created him as a vampire, so of course he would see you as his sire. But what it means is you've just performed a first for humankind. There is no record anywhere, of any other human siring a vampire. Willow, you'll be in books!"

Willow couldn't help but giggle at her friend's odd priorities.  "Well, that's just great Wesley, but what do I do with him?  How am I supposed to act around him?"

"I imagine you shouldn't necessarily change your behavior towards him.  Simply do what makes you comfortable.  Anything more specific than that and I would think Angel would be a better person to ask."

"Yeah, but that's the thing.  I'm not comfortable!  I mean, great, now I know why, but that still doesn't change this effect we have on each other.  Angel said he wouldn't try to stop us from acting on it, so I thought maybe you would know some way to lessen it.  I don't know if I would feel right taking advantage of this bond we have to make myself feel better.  Just because he's my childe now doesn't mean I can make him do things with me."

Wesley folded his hands on the desk and leaned over them to whisper to her, "Actually, that's exactly what it means." He sat back and turned in his chair to scan the bookshelves behind him. "I don't think there's any such thing as a spell to weaken a sire-childe bond. It would be very unnatural, and even if it did exist, I don't know that it would work on a human. You're in a unique situation, Willow, to say the least."

"Don't I know it! I guess I kinda figured there wouldn't be a way to make a spell for this since this isn't even possible! I just can't stop thinking about him. I feel him all the time now and it's driving me crazy not to be near him!"

He turned back to face her again. "I will say I'm surprised your pull to him is so strong. In vampires, what truly cements the bond is the sire nourishing its childe demon with its own blood. After all, that is what brings the childe to life. In this case, odd as it is, it was not necessary for you to give Spike's demon your blood since he was already a vampire, and because you're not, it wouldn't have made him one anyway."

Willow suddenly found a spot on the rug intensely fascinating. While she studied it, she asked in the most casual voice she could muster, "That's interesting about the blood. You think if I had given him my blood, the bond would be even stronger?"

"Well, I'm not certain. From what you describe, it seems that you already have a full-fledged bond. I wonder why that is?"

Dragging her eyes up to meet Wesley's, Willow undid the top two buttons of her blouse, and yanked the collar to one side to reveal the not-yet faded gash on her shoulder. "I think I know why that is," she said.

Wesley frowned at the wound, which was ragged, and not at all the nice, neat twin punctures that a vampire normally left. "I don't understand. I thought Angel. I mean, your neck - "He gestured to the mark on her other side.

Willow touched that mark. "Angel." She touched her shoulder. "Spike."

"Oh dear."

~Part: 6~

The tiny café was crowded, just as Willow hoped.  She sat at a table in the back, away from the windows even though the sun was nearly set, and eyed the throng of customers pushing through the door for her dinner date.  He was not among them.  She glanced at her watch again and saw that it was still early.  She had arrived 20 minutes before their agreed upon time, too restless to sit in the penthouse any longer.  A Coke sat in front of her on the white plastic table, untouched.  She was too nervous to drink, either.

Willow shoved both hands under her thighs to keep from looking at her watch again.  He'll get here when he gets here, she told herself.  She had no fear that he would stand her up, that wasn't like him.  They both agreed that they needed to talk.  Willow trusted that being out in public would prevent the talk from deteriorating into mindless shagging.  One hand escaped her leg and snaked out to give the table a little shake.  It would never hold us, she thought with some relief.

There.  He walked through the door.  His eyes were already locked with hers, not needing to scan the room to locate her, knowing instinctively where she sat.  He strode towards her, and the black coat billowing out behind him seemed to undulate in slow motion with the rise and fall of his legs and the swish of his arms.  Then he was standing before her and she realized she was staring at him, but could do nothing else.  "Hello, Willow," he drawled and stooped to plant a kiss on the top of her head before taking the seat across from her.

"Spike," she managed to squeak.

He scooped the menu up off the table and shook it open.  "Let's see.  What's good to eat in this joint?"

"Appetizers," she said, still unable to manage more than one word at time.  He was there, right there across from her and he was hers.  God, he was so beautiful.  How had such a creature been in her life for so long without her noticing, without her touching him, tasting and taking and just knowing him?  Impossible.  He couldn't have been like this, he must have changed.  But, of course not.  He was the same Spike as ever, and she the same Willow.  Separate they were no different, but together, that was where they were new and extraordinary.

"Ah!  A bloomin' onion!  How did you know?  Haven't had one of those since Sunnydale.  Willow?  You alright, love?"

She realized she hadn't moved since he sat down and had been staring at him for several minutes, hardly even blinking.  She concentrated on forcing the muscles in her face to move and make her smile.  Finding that she was still in some control of herself made her feel better and she relaxed a little.  "I'm fine, Spike.  It's nice to see you."

"Um, yeah.  You too.  You gonna eat something?"

Willow lifted her own menu in shaking hands and scanned it until potato skins caught her eye.  As soon as she closed the menu, the waitress came over and they placed their appetizer orders.  When she was gone, Willow met Spike's curious gaze.  Her Spike.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged.  "I tried.  Told you I was yours.  Couldn't tell you why, you'd never have believed me.  Wasn't sure myself at first, not till that night..."  She knew what night.  They both did.

"But you said it then, before we, before things happened.  You said you belonged to me."

"Right.  Didn't understand it then, not really.  Felt it before, but when I tasted you, then I knew it.  Demons always know the taste of their sire's blood.  That's when I knew what you were to me.  I think that's when you felt it too, am I right?"

She nodded and finally took a sip of her Coke, more to delay having to respond than to quench her thirst.  "The next day I realized I could feel you and I knew you were ok, but not happy.  I kept waiting for you to show up, but you didn't.  Before that night, I just thought I felt responsible for you because I brought you back and a little attracted to you because we got to know each other while you were a ghost and then you finally had a body."

"This last week has been hell for me staying away from you, Willow.  It's not natural."

"I know.  I've felt the same way.  There's no way out of it now.  We're stuck with each other.  Why didn't you come back to see me?"

"Well, I was pissed!  Once I realized you were my sire, how do you think that felt knowing my sire would rather be with Angel?"

Willow cringed and looked away.  "I'm sorry, Spike."

"Nah, don't be.  You didn't know this would happen.  No one did.  What am I gonna say?  Bad Willow!  You shouldn't have brought me back?"

"I guess not.  I just wish it were different.  You deserve to have a good sire for once."

"Hey, now.  I do, I do.  Look here, you brought me to this place with the bloomin' onion!  You're taking care of my nutritional needs already!"

Willow couldn't help but smile at him.  He was so charming.  She felt a swell of pride at how she had made such a perfect childe.  Wait.  No, that's ridiculous.  She hadn't made him who he was, she only brought back who he had already been.  She had no right taking credit for anything about him.

"No, if I was doing that, we'd be at the butcher shop.  But I know you like your onion and I think it's supposed to do something good for our bond if we eat together."

Spike laughed and shook his head at her.  "Not quite how it goes, pet, but close enough for us.  You know what's really good for our bond, don't you?"  He waggled his eyebrows at her, making her glance around the room in a panic.

"Spike!  Shhh!  Don't even start that here!"

"Yes, sire," he deadpanned.

"That's not funny."

"It's not supposed to be.  Not much, anyway.  You are what you are, Willow.  Though, if you don't want to announce it to the world, that's fine by me.  I can't see it doing much good for a vamp's ego to have a human for a sire.  Not that I'd know, seeing as how it's never happened before."

Their food arrived and Spike's eyes grew wide at the giant spokes of steaming fried onion rising up from his plate.  Willow took a bite of loaded potato skin and found that her hunger reared up immediately now that she felt a little more in control of herself around Spike.  She saw him take a big mouthful of onion dipped in the special sauce and had a moment to worry that he would burn himself before remembering that hot food was probably not a big danger to vampires.  A foreign sensation of pleasure coursed through her and she realized that she was actually feeling Spike enjoying his onion.

"Mmm, is that good, Spike?"

"Yeah, you bet!"  He said through a mouthful.  "Better than that mealy potato."

Willow gaped at him, then looked at her plate.  The skins weren't that great and of course Spike was able to sense that she wasn't loving them just as she knew how good the onion was.

He pushed his plate across the table at her.  "Here, try some of this."

She did, and it was ok, but she wasn't a big onion fan to begin with.  Spike yanked his plate back.  "Well, if you're not even going to appreciate it, you don't get anymore!"

Now Willow felt a little weirded out.  "Is it always going to be like this?"

Spike took the time to swallow and wipe his mouth before answering and Willow suppressed an urge to praise his manners.  "No, it's just cause you're right there.  Come on, think about it?  Were you able to tell every time I had a bag of blood over the last few days?"

Willow did think about it and realized he was right.  "No, I could only get general emotions.  Happy, sad, angry, hurt.  Definitely not anything specific like yummy or icky or chocolaty, or even hot or cold."

Spike nodded and made a gesture for her to continue.  "So it's a distance thing?  That makes sense, especially with what Angel said about you and him."

"Right.  I get far enough away and you'll only be able to tell if I'm dead or alive.  You can assume that I'll feel pretty much the same things from you."

That's when it hit her.  The reason she wanted him so much.  If the sire-childe bond was affected by physical distance then when they were the closest, they would feel each other the most.  How could they be closer than to be touching each other, giving each other pleasure and each feeling not only their own pleasure but the pleasure they were giving through the bond.  Every caress, every kiss, every thrust of their bodies joining would be felt twice.  And she knew it, should have known it since she kissed him in his apartment and had been able to sense how she affected him, only then she had mistaken the feeling as her own.  He was speaking to her.

"I see you've figured out the other end of the closeness factor."

She stared at him, "You can feel it?"

"That you're so turned on you might take your chances with this flimsy old table?  Yeah, but I don't need to feel it.  You were looking at me like I was an ice cream cone and you'd just crawled through the Gobi desert for a month."

Willow turned and grabbed hold of the arm of a passing waitress.  "Check, please."

"Hey now!  I was gonna have chicken wings!"

"Don't worry, Spike.  You'll get fed."  When he gave her a puzzled frown, she subtlety tilted her head and caressed her shoulder with her fingertips.  His eyes widened in understanding.

"Right then."  He twisted around in his seat to search for the waitress.  "Hey!  Where's our damn check!"

When he turned back, Angel was standing next to the table.  "You two are ready to go?  Good, because we have trouble and we have to hurry."

~Part: 7~

The black convertible tore around another corner, Angel slamming on the gas even more when the road straightened out again.  In the back, Spike cursed under his breath and grabbed onto the door.  Willow was in the front passenger seat, gripping the dashboard with one hand and Angel's arm with the other.  She didn't see why they were in such a hurry.  From what Angel told them, the situation seemed to be under control for the time being.

They were back at Wolfram & Hart.  Angel dragged them from the car when they didn't open their doors fast enough and hurried them up the stairs into the building, not stopping until they were in an all too familiar corridor on the second floor.  The door they stood in front of was labeled 221.  Willow glanced down the hall at another door and shuddered.  The numbers 217 glinted at her in the florescent lights, seeming to wink and suggest they remembered her.

She was pulled out of her chilling recollections by the shouts coming from the now open room 221.  Angel and Spike were already inside, beckoning to her.  Willow took a deep breath and stepped in, noting that it was a very different room than 217.  There were no operating tables or surgeons in here.  A large cage, big enough to hold several people, stood in the back of the room.  Charles Gunn paced back and forth inside, occasionally stopping to rattle the bars and threaten the others in the room.  To one side stood Fred, calmly holding a tranquilizer gun aimed at the cage.  Behind her, at a tiny desk that seemed to have been brought in for this purpose, Wesley sat, paging through the first of a stack of books and muttering under his breath.

Wes looked up when the other three came in.  "Ah, there you are.  Well Angel, I trust you'll listen to me next time I suggest we research a demon before killing it?"

"Yeah, well.  It still needed to be killed.  What were we supposed to do?"

"I think the more pertinent question is: What do we do now?"

Willow ignored their bickering and approached the cage, careful to keep a safe distance.  "How did this happen?"  She asked, addressing the men behind her.

"Remember that little demon hunt we went on a couple of nights ago that we thought we could take care of by ourselves?  We killed it, but it didn't go down without getting in a shot of its own," Angel said.  "Seems that, with this particular kind of demon, it takes the soul of whoever lands the killing blow with it."

"How did you know?"

Angel sighed.  "We didn't.  He was fine when I left him, didn't seem any different to me.  When he attacked Fred tonight..."

"He what?"  Willow whirled around to look at them.  For the first time, she noticed the developing bruises on the other woman's neck and wrists.

"I'm fine now, Willow.  It's ok, it wasn't his fault," she said, seeing her friend's concern.

Wesley spoke up, "When I heard her scream, I came running, of course, and was able to knock him unconscious."

"Wow!"  Willow looked at him with a new respect.

"Yes, well I was still carrying the rather large volume I was reading at the time.  As I was saying, we didn't know what was wrong with him, so we put him in there.  I called Angel and that's when we began to suspect the demon he killed and looked it up."

Willow turned to Angel.  "This... this could have been you!"  She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself.  "We could have had Angelus loose again!"

"Yeah, and you still might."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There's another one.  Its mate."

Wes took over the explanation again.  "They're not from this dimension.  It's very rare for them to come here, but when they do, it's always in pairs."

"What do they want?"  She asked.

"You," Angel responded.

"And Spike," Wesley added.

Willow took a step backwards and made a motion like she was going to sit down, but there was no chair behind her.  Spike, who had not said a word, appeared by her side and scooped her up before she could land on the floor.  He took a couple of steps away from the cage, which she'd moved dangerously near, and set her back on her feet.  Her hand stayed on his arm, not trusting her balance just yet, and she gave him a grateful smile.

Fred watched the exchange with a curious frown, Wesley with a tiny, knowing smile, and Angel with an eye-roll of resignation.  Willow looked around at them and said, "Ok, I'm confused.  They want a witch and a vampire.  For what?  Are they short on those in their dimension?"

"Maybe they just wanna get it on with you, baby!  Why don't you bring that sweet little ass over here?"  Gunn was grinning at Willow, making obscene motions with his hips.  He got company, but not of the female persuasion.  In a flash, Spike was gone from under Willow's light touch and joined by Angel, both pressed against the front of the cage, each in game face, and each with one arm through the bars, gripping Gunn by the neck.  They could have cheerfully snapped it in another moment, but Willow's voice stilled them.

"No!  Stop, let him go!  You know he can't help it!"  And the two, who had once been no better, much worse in fact, than the man in the cage, knew the truth of her words and released him.  "Wesley, is he really evil?"  She asked.

He looked up from his book and shook his head.  "Not evil, not inherently, no.  He's not a demon; he's just a human without a soul.  He doesn't have anything to tell him the difference between right and wrong."  He spared a glance at Fred, his very recent love, and her wounded flesh.  "He's acting on pure id.  There is nothing to temper his most base instincts."

"What do we do with him?"  Willow asked.

"I say we let him rot in there, actually."

"Wesley!" Fred cast him a disapproving glare.

"Well, we can hardly be wasting time on him when there's a demon after Willow and Spike!"

"Uh, Wes?"  Angel came over and plucked the book from his hands so he couldn't hide behind it.  "I don't think you're having one of your most objective moments right now.  But you're right."  He held up his hands when the two women started to protest.  "He's safe where he is for now.  What can you tell us about the demon that's after Willow?"

"And me,"  Spike added, even though he understood now why Angel was in such a hurry earlier.  If something was threatening Willow, he wanted it dead as soon as possible too.  He threw another warning growl at Gunn, before turning back to pay attention to Wesley.  Gunn merely took a seat on the floor of his cage and looked bored.

"Willow, you remember that I told you that siring Spike was a first among humans and expected that it would be written down in books?"  He was interrupted by gasps from both Fred and Gunn.

"What do you mean, siring Spike?"  Fred asked.

"Yeah, what - " Gunn started, but he was cut off by the fury in the eyes of the demons and his still-intact sense of self preservation shut him up.

"Willow is Spike's sire.  Explanations later, tell us more about demons now," Angel said impatiently.

"Yes, well it seems that Willow's feat is already in books.  At least one anyway, a book of prophecies from the demons' dimension.  They were to come and take Willow and Spike to be sacrificed to raise one of their gods.  The book has been here for centuries, but it isn't consulted often.  Generally we don't concern ourselves with other dimensions.  There's quite enough to keep us busy here."

"What does the prophecy say?"  Willow asked.

"Ah, not much.  Ten moons and ten suns from the purgatorial fire, a human witch will sire the ensouled vampire.  Upon the rock of Blugara their blood will mingle and our Lord will rise from their oblivion endowed with the power of nature and the soul of evil."

"Ok, so great, now everyone has had a prophecy about their deaths.  How do we stop it?"  Angel paced the room, rubbing one hand over his head, messing up his hair.

"You'll need to slay the remaining Blugara demon.  It won't stop until it has them," Wesley said.

"Uh no, no way in hell," Willow stepped in front of Angel, forcing him to stop in his tracks.  "You're not going anywhere near that thing.  If you lose your soul again, I'll have a better chance against a whole dimension full of Blugara demons."

"I'll do it," Spike said quietly.

"Oh, now how's that any better?" Angel demanded.  "You haven't even had your soul two years yet, and you're so eager to lose it already?  At least we know how to put mine back."

"Yeah, but unlike some, I can control myself without it.  As you pointed out, I haven't had it very long and I didn't kill you in all the time I was evil, so that must count for something."

"Stop it!  Both of you.  This isn't helping!  I don't want either of you to lose your souls.  I... I don't want to lose either of you.  Wesley, there has to be another way!"

"I'm sorry, Willow.  I haven't found one."

"Well, one of us dashing fellows has to save you, pet, so what's it going to be?  You want Angelus, Scourge of Europe on your hands or - "

"William the Bloody?"  Angel finished.  "Don't forget Willow, he's not going to be the neutered vampire you remember fighting side-by-side with in Sunnydale.  He's going to be the nutcase that kidnapped you and Xander and left you in the factory."

"Hey!  You told him about that?"  Spike asked.  Willow had the decency to look contrite and blush.  "Least I didn't kill her fish," he muttered.

"Yes, yes, you were both evil bloodsucking fiends, we remember," Wesley said.  "Let's get to the point.  Either one of you, or one of us," he gestured to the other humans in the room, "is going to need to kill this thing.  I suggest it be one of you since we do have the curse to ensoul a vampire and we have no idea what to do with him."  He pointed to Gunn, who had fallen asleep amid the excitement and was snoring softly.

"But if we let Spike do it and curse him, then he'll have the happiness clause too?"  Willow recalled what she had thought an hour ago that she would be doing right now and felt her heart sink that such a thing might no longer be possible.

"Whoa, wait just a damn minute!  You're not using that curse on me!  If I get rid of this soul, it stays gone.  I'm not turning into some brooding poof!  I happen to like happiness."

"Then it can't be you," Willow said.

"What?  Why not?  You know I'd never hurt you, love."  Spike came to her and tried to take her in his arms but she turned away.

"Not me, but you'd kill other people.  And... I'd feel it." She shuddered and let him run a soothing hand down her back and around to her waist, pulling her against his chest.

"I wish I could promise you I wouldn't, but I can't," he whispered in her ear.  "I could go away, far away.  You'd barely feel me, and never them.  I want to do this for you.  For us."

Angel stalked over and ripped Spike off of Willow slamming him into the wall.  "You can't promise her anything!  Without your soul, you don't know what you'd do.  You might not hurt her, but can you promise you wouldn't kill her friends?  Promise you wouldn't try to kill me?  'Cause I can't promise I wouldn't kill you if you tried any of it."  He dropped Spike to the floor and returned to comfort Willow, who began to cry.

"This can't be happening!  It's not fair.  And, they're both right.  Angel is too dangerous without his soul and it's not fair to ask Spike to submit to being cursed.  Not when he went through all the trouble to get a nice curse-free soul."  She sobbed on Angel's shoulder and he stroked her hair, glaring over her head at Spike who, remained across the room, leaning against the wall and smoking.

The quiet that permeated the room while they all considered the options was shattered by the ear-splitting screech of the metal door to the room being torn from its hinges.  On the other side stood the Blugara demon.

~Part: 8~

A shriek issued from the vulture-like head and it fixed one beady eye on Willow, advancing towards her on black scaly legs with its scrawny arms out to grab its prize.  Willow sidestepped it easily and brought up one hand, sending the Blugara flying backwards into Wesley's desk with a magical burst.  Startled, Wesley jumped away from his scattered books and moved to stand next to Fred, who took aim with her tranquilizer gun.  She had a clear shot, but the dart bounced harmlessly off the creature's armored chest.

"The neck!"  Angel shouted.  "We have to cut off its head.  We know that kills it!"

"Right then."  Spike yanked a broadsword from an ornamental display on the wall and headed towards the Blugara as it scrambled to its feet.

"No, Spike!"  Willow cried.

The Blugara saw Spike coming and dodged his first swing, before countering with a kick that knocked the sword from his hand and left the vampire lying on the floor.

Willow slammed the demon with another blast of magic before it could bend over to grab her childe.  With it momentarily stunned, she tried to snatch the sword away from Spike while Angel scrambled to find a weapon of his own.  Settling for the small dagger he wore beneath his shirt, he rushed at the Blugara.

Willow and Spike had a brief struggle over the sword, which Spike won, pushing her away with enough force to let him escape.  He hurried after Angel, who was trading blows with the demon, unable to get a clear shot at its neck.  Wesley attempted to brain it from behind with a broken table leg, only to be thrashed by its thorny tail. Grabbing Angel by the back of his shirt, Spike shoved him aside and confronted the demon once again.  Even as Angel got to his feet and launched himself at Spike, the blonde vampire raised the sword high over his shoulder and brought it down in a swift stroke, severing the Blugara's head with one clean swipe, before being tackled to the ground.

The dead creature slumped to the floor, spurting black blood from its neck, its head rolling away towards the cage where Gunn was awake again, watching the scene play out with his mouth slightly open.

In the sudden calm that followed, Fred went to where Wesley lay on the floor with a gash in his side and tried to help him up.  Angel pulled Willow into a tight embrace, assuring himself that she was really okay and the danger was past.  She let herself be held for a moment, then looked around to check on Spike.  He was gone.

Willow ran to the door and stuck her head out to see down the hall.  No vampire.  She turned to the others in the room.  "Where'd he go?"  They all shook their heads.  No one had seen him leave.  "Oh god!  We have to find him!  He could be anywhere, doing anything!  Oh god."    She returned to her mate and pleaded, "Angel, where would he go?  How do we find him?"

He shrugged.  "He's your childe."

Willow was livid.  "Oh sure, that's just great!  In bed you're all, "He's mine and I'm gonna have him", but when he's off somewhere being bad and doing who knows what, then it's "He's your childe, you deal with him."  It wouldn't kill you to help me find him!"  She turned away to go after Spike, not noticing the shock on the faces of the others.  She had more important things to do than keep Angel and Spike's dirty little secrets.

Angel grabbed her arm to stop her.  "That's not what I meant.  Of course I'll help you.  But he is your childe, you're the one with the strongest bond to him.  You ought to be able to tell better than me where he is.  That's all.  Just concentrate for a minute.  Where is he?"

Willow did as he said.  The bond was as strong as ever and she could feel Spike nearby.  "He's close.  And he's happy.  Really, really happy.  Oh, that can't be good."  She tried to describe where she felt he might be.

Angel stepped up to take charge.  "Fred, Wesley, help Willow get the ingredients together to perform the gypsy curse.  I'll go get Spike."

Gunn stood up.  "Hey, what about me?  You all just gonna go off and leave me in here like this?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Angel said.

"Sounds like the plan," Wesley confirmed.

As they all scurried off to their duties, Fred paused and turned to Wes, "You are going to fix him later, aren't you?"

"Later," he promised.  Satisfied, they followed Willow to her office to prepare for the spell.

~Part: 9~

Wesley volunteered his orb of Theshula for the curse and Willow printed off a fresh copy of the words she had to chant.  A few more details were attended, and all was ready.  Still no Spike or Angel appeared.  Another hour passed while they took turns pacing Willow's office, occasionally pulling a book off one of the built-in shelves to pretend to read.  At last Willow could take it no longer.  "Look, why don't you two go home?  I can do the curse myself and we don't know when Angel's coming back or if he's even going to find Spike tonight."  Fred started to protest, but Willow cut her off.  "I'll call if I need you, I swear.  It's just pointless to sit here and worry.  I'm going upstairs too."

One last glance out the window and a call to the security desk affirmed that neither Angel nor Spike were coming, so the three of them parted ways and went home.

Spike hadn't kept his promise to go far away to feed.  Willow didn't want the others to know, so she had pretended to go to the ladies room where she stayed until the feeling passed.  When it had, Willow once again knew what it felt like to take a life.  Not what it felt like for her, but what it felt like for Spike.  She wondered which of them had taken more pleasure in it and decided that honor was his.  For her, the gratification had not been pure, it was tainted with anger and grief.  Spike was not angry or sad, just gleeful and free.  Could she take that away from him?  Give him back the soul that caused him such misery and despair?  She had to.  If she didn't, the guilt would kill her.

Back in the penthouse, she ran a bath and undressed, hoping to relax a little before Angel returned.  The curse was a very draining spell and she wanted to make sure she would have enough energy to perform it.  Sinking down into the hot water, she breathed deeply and tried to clear her mind.  She sent her thoughts outside herself, seeking the bonds of her childe and her mate, hoping to learn how they each fared.

She could feel Spike with no trouble.  He still hadn't wandered far, but seemed to be pleased with himself.  He was having a great time and she wondered what he was up to.  He wasn't feeding, that much relieved her.  Suddenly she felt a twinge of pain through the bond, but then it was gone and a feeling of triumph replaced it, and Willow knew without a doubt that Spike had just won a fight with another demon.

At first she couldn't imagine why Spike would fight another demon.  It wasn't Angel, that much she could tell.  Though the bond with her mate offered much less information, even with the deep concentration she gave it now, she knew Angel was alive and unhurt, a state that did not match that of whatever Spike just fought.

Blood and a spot of violence, that was just like Spike.  Feeling his enjoyment of the blood had sickened her, but if he kept the violence confined to demons, which seemed likely given his preference for a fair fight, she would be okay with that part.  Angel should be catching up with him soon anyway.

She pushed the incoming feelings to the back of her consciousness where they didn't interfere with her own thoughts.  She doubted she would want to know when the two of them finally ran into each other.  It was bound to be painful for both of them.

The water was cooling off, so Willow climbed out of the tub and dried herself.  Fluffy his and hers robes hung on the back of the bathroom door; she had insisted on them after they were late to work one too many times thanks to the undiminished effect seeing Angel wrapped in only a towel had on her.  She used hers now, even though there was no one to hide herself from.  She found the material comforting.

Walking out into the living room, Willow passed the phone and thought of calling Angel's cell to see how he was.  She thought better of it, imagining the ringing coming at an inopportune moment if he happened to be sneaking up on Spike.  Instead, she decided to make herself a cup of tea to settle her nerves.  Not in the mood to wait for the kettle, she stuck a mug of water in the microwave.  She turned to the cupboard for the teabags and heard the front door open.  Thinking Angel must have given up, she went to meet him.  Her heart stopped beating for a moment before picking up an incredible pace when she saw Spike standing in the middle of the room looking at her.

"Hello love," he said, coming closer to her.  She backed away from him, stopping when she hit the dining table, just outside the kitchen.  "Oh, come on now.  I'm not gonna hurt you."

"S-Spike.  Wha- what are you doing here?"  She could do nothing but stare at him as he approached and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Came to see you.  Wanted to make sure you were ok."  He kissed her lightly and looked in her eyes, puzzled at the fear he saw there.

"You- you're checking up on me?"  The microwave beeped.  She didn't even hear it.

"Well, yeah.  That was a nasty business earlier.  Figured you could do with a little visit from yours truly.  I could feel you reaching for me.  Thought you were worried."

"I was.  I'm glad you're ok, Spike."  She tried to wriggle from his grasp with no success.

"Where are you going, pet?  You still think I'm gonna try and sink my fangs into your delectable flesh?"  He smirked at her and leaned forward to whisper in her ear.  "Only if you want me to."

Willow shivered, feeling his breath on her skin.  He liked it that she was afraid, that was obvious.  She wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt her; he seemed to be genuinely concerned for her, as if his enjoyment of her fear was just an afterthought, a reflex.  "What are you going to do?" She asked, trying to get her heart rate under control and not think about the solid body pressed against her, pushing her into the table.

"Do?  Well, since you're ok, and I'm ok, and we beat the demon, we could celebrate a bit?  What do you think of that?  We could pick up where we left off before we were so rudely interrupted at dinner."  He slid one hand down from her shoulder to the belt of her robe, nimble fingers untying it and slipping inside.

Willow gasped and pushed him away.  He let her go and she moved around to the other side of the table so it was between them.  "We can't do this.  Not now."  She retied her robe.

"Why not?  Just a few hours ago you were ready to rip my clothes off with your teeth!"  With inhuman speed he came around so that he was in front of her again with the table behind her.  He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her hips so she sat on the table, then stepped between her legs and kissed her again.  As much as her rational mind told her to pull away, she didn't.  When he released her mouth, he said, "I'm still your Spike.  Your childe.  I know you can feel that."

Whether he meant their bond or his erection pressed against her thigh, it didn't matter, he was right.  The missing soul did nothing to diminish his effect on her.  She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down to her lips.  He untied her robe again and pushed it down off her shoulders so that it fell behind her on the table.  She reached for his belt and unfastened it, unzipped his pants and had him in her hands in seconds.  He groaned into her mouth and pushed her back on the table, pulled her hips to him and buried himself inside her.

Willow clenched her hands in the fabric of the robe beneath her, locked her ankles around Spike's waist and cried for him to go harder.  The sensations she felt were beyond her comprehension.  She imagined that they would be able to feel each other's pleasure through the bond, but it was beyond that.  The effect was more like standing in between two mirrors and seeing the reflection reproduced to infinity in each.  Not only could she feel how good she felt to him, but she could feel him feeling her own pleasure so that what each of them experienced was sent back and forth between them in an endless loop, growing more intense every moment as the effect multiplied.

The experience was addictive, she wanted more.  She sat up on her elbows and Spike, getting the idea, leaned down, wrapping an arm around her back, so that their bodies touched and she could reach to kiss him.  His tongue ran across her lips and slipped in between to taste her.  Willow's eyes closed and her mind was gone.  Her only thought was that if Spike stopped what he was doing, she would die.

His mouth left hers, moving on to sample her earlobe, running his tongue along the edge before dipping inside the cup.  Moments later he was kissing her neck, tasting the hollow of her throat, and finally coming to rest over the spot on her shoulder where he had drawn her blood, only a week ago.  Feeling an odd tingle, Willow opened her eyes and realized what he was doing.  Just licking that spot affected her and she knew that he would want to do more than that, and that she wouldn't stop him.

She tightened her grip with her legs, digging her heels into his ass, wanting him as close to her as he could get.  As much as she hoped they could float along in their enhanced state of bliss forever, such things are not made to last.  As though this inevitability had also occured to him, Spike became the demon she knew he was, gave a quick search of her face for approval from his sire, and at her barely perceptible nod, he slid his fangs into her shoulder.  This time, as Spike drank blood, Willow reveled in his enjoyment of it.  He stopped moving within her once his climax finished, yet while his fangs remained inside her body, hers continued as a series of implosions, ending only when they were completely disconnected.

Willow lay unmoving on the table, her legs hanging off the end, while Spike fastened his pants and smoothed his hair.  When she still didn't get up, he wrapped the robe around her and lifted her up, carried her to the bedroom and laid her on top of the sheets.  "Willow?  You in there?"  He sat next to her and waved a hand in front of her face.

"Spike?"

"Yeah, love.  It's me."

"That was -"

"Wasn't it though?"  He grinned at her.  "Knew you'd like it."  He pulled a blanket over her and gave her a quick kiss.  "I'd best be off.  Those demons won't keep Angel away forever."

Willow was promptly awake and alert.  "Demons?  What?  Angel?  Where is he?  What did you do?"

"Easy there, pet!  It's nothing.  Just convinced some friends to keep him busy for a while is all.  They won't hurt him.  Much."

"Friends?"

"Well, all right.  Slaves.  I killed their leader and now they're pretty much mine."

Willow sat up in bed and looked in disbelief at her childe.  "You've been without a soul for all of two hours and you already have slaves?  We need to go perform the curse, um, now!"  She tried to get up, but Spike pushed her back down.

"No.  I told you, no curse.  It won't work anyway.  What are you going to do afterwards?  You'll have that damn clause in there and it'll be, fuck me, curse me, fuck me, curse me.  I know you felt what I felt, and if that isn't perfect bliss, nothing is.  How long do you think you can keep that up?"

She opened her mouth and nothing came out.  There was nothing to say.  He was right.  Again.  Damn.  Still, she couldn't just let him go back out there to maim and kill as he pleased.  "We have to do something.  You killed a man!  And I know you'll do it again, don't say you won't!"

"Wouldn't dream of it.  You're right, of course.  I'll kill one soon as I leave if I can.  Don't fret about that other one though.  He was a nasty bugger, killed his mum and dad.  Heard him bragging about it to his mates."

Willow puzzled over that.  "Why did you kill a murderer?"

"He deserved it!  Thought I'd go after some helpless little chit, didn't you?  Ah, I know you better than you know me.  I know you'll put that soul back in me whether I like it or not.  I'm planning ahead, you might say.  Don't fancy brooding for these little crimes when the conscience comes back."

"So, you're only going to kill bad people?"  She asked, scarcely daring to hope.

"Well, yeah.  For now.  But you'd better hurry up if you want to save my soul.  I have a big appetite and there are only so many wicked boys in this city.  When they're gone, I make no promises."

Willow took his hand when he tried to stand and leave.  "You want your soul back?"

He shrugged and smiled at her.  "Not for me, for you.  I know it's what you want and I'd still do anything for you."  Overcome, Willow grabbed him in a bone-crushing hug.  He returned it and then disentangled himself.  "Go find some restoration spell without that idiotic clause, and I'll be all yours again, body, demon, and soul" He bestowed one last kiss, and left the witch to her tumultuous thoughts.

~Part: 10~

Someone shook her awake.  Willow opened her eyes in time to see Angel slump to the floor beside the bed in relief, realizing that she was ok.  "You scared the shit out of me," he said.  "I come in here and I smell your blood, and Spike, not a safe combination at the moment.  I thought you were unconscious."

Her sleepy brain finally comprehended what he was so worried about.  Squinting out the window, she saw that the sun was nearly up.  "Yeah, he was here.  You didn't find him afterwards?"

Angel shook his head and leaned back against the mattress.  "I know I came close, but he slipped away every time.  I had to come back before sunrise, but that means he has to be somewhere he can't leave too.  That should give the others a chance to find him."

"No."  Willow pulled her robe out from underneath herself and slipped it on.  Angel looked up at her and raised his eyebrows.  "There's no point in going after him.  We don't know what to do for him, and I won't have him locked in some cage until we figure it out."

"What do you mean?  We know exactly what to do.  We'll perform the curse and then -"

"And then what, Angel?  I'm never allowed to touch him again?  I don't think so.  There has to be another way to give him back his soul.  He found one, so can I."  Willow got up and went to her closet.  She had to dress and get to work.  There was no more time for lying around.  Clothes chosen, she removed the robe and glanced at her shoulder to make sure the bites had closed and would not bleed on her shirt.

The look on Angel's face told her that he had put together why he smelled Spike and her blood and yet she was still alive.  He picked himself up off the floor and stood in front of her, tracing the fresh wound with one finger. "I don't believe it.  You didn't." His nostrils twitched.  "Of course you did, I can still smell it."

She turned away from him, intent on locating underwear. "Why not?  You said yourself -"

"What I said referred to a vampire with a soul, not unlike myself.  That's not what Spike is.  Not anymore."

"He's still my childe."

Angel moved so that he stood between Willow and her dresser, forcing her to look at him. "He's an evil thing.  A cold-blooded killer.  You're lucky to be alive."

Willow looked directly in his eyes, startling him with the defiance and anger on her face.  Her voice was deadly quiet.  "Luck had nothing to do with it.  He wouldn't hurt me and you know that.  You just don't want to believe it because you don't want to admit that what's lucky is that he's the one that lost his soul and not you because then I really would be in danger."

Angel's pained expression made her instantly regret her words.  It's not like he wanted either of them to lose their souls, but he had been willing to sacrifice his to protect her and Spike.  She should be grateful to him, not throwing insults. Before she could take it back, he walked away, pulled off his shirt and laid down on the bed with his back to her. "What are you doing?"  She asked, puzzled by his inaction when there was so much to be done.

"I'm going to sleep.  I've been up all night chasing after your childe and fighting his little army.  I'm tired.  There's nothing more I can do until the sun sets anyway."  His deliberate yawn dismissed her.

He had a valid point.  Willow finished dressing and quietly left the apartment, hoping Angel wasn't really upset with her.

The hallway outside Willow's office was dim and quiet.  The regular business day didn't start for hours and the sun still wasn't high enough to light up the windows.  The only sound was her jangling keys unlocking her door.  Flipping on the light, she saw Spike sitting in one of her chairs, turning to face her.  It was a moment before she remembered that such a sight should surprise her, so many times had she come in to find him in the exact same position when he was a ghost.  Since becoming corporeal, he had somehow procured a key of his own so he could still come and go as he liked without the ability to simply float through the wall.

"What are you doing in here?"  She whispered, before remembering that there was no one else around to hear her.  She repeated her question in a normal voice, which sounded too loud in the empty stillness of the early dawn.

"Waiting for you," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Have you been here all night?"  Getting over her shock, Willow came in and locked the door behind her to prevent any of her colleagues coming in when they arrived and getting the wrong idea, or worse still, the right idea, about his presence.

"Course not.  Just came in when the sun started peeking out.  What better place to waste the day than in a sun proof room with my sexy sire?"

Willow closed her eyes, willing herself not to respond to his teasing or his smile.  "If you don't leave, I won't be able to concentrate on finding a way to help you."  She didn't know what gave her the idea that he would listen to reason.  He never had before.  Now was no different.

He stood up and walked around the chair to where she stood only a few steps past the door so that he was right in front of her when she opened her eyes.  Seeing her surprise that he had moved, he caught her hands in his and pulled her up against his body.  "Maybe I should go then.  Wouldn't want to distract you."  In complete contradiction of his statement, he bent his head to hers and consumed her mouth with a searing kiss.  He let go of her hands and they wrapped their arms around one another.  It had been only hours since he held her to him, yet to both of them it seemed an unbearable eternity.

Not breaking the feverish kiss, Spike nudged Willow back to the plush leather loveseat in the corner of her office, which had formerly been used only for curling up with a demonology text for a long night of research.  Now she curled up with a demon instead.  All the better to study you, my dear, she thought wildly, yanking the leather coat down off of his arms and tossing it in the general direction of the chairs, but not taking the time to see if she managed to hit one.  Willow pulled back, releasing his lips for a moment and holding him away when he lunged for her again, just long enough to grab his shirt by the hem and tug it off over his head.  As soon as it was disposed of, Spike replaced his mouth on hers and lifted her onto his lap.

The night before, she was content just to feel him inside her, not caring that he was fully dressed in her desperate desire just to have him at all.  Now she wanted to touch all of him, every inch of his skin.  Her hands moved slowly up and down his rock-solid chest, making his nipples harden beneath her palms.  She slid her hands a little lower and thought she would never have enough of stroking the contours of his abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch slightly at her touch.  That was until she moved her hands to his arms.  She sighed, gliding her fingers up to his shoulders and back down to his wrists.  The vampire had always had the nicest set of arms.  Not so big and bulky that his shirts didn't fit, but solid and powerful, with a tangible strength.  She remembered how those arms had felt carrying her spent form to her bed like she weighed no more than the robe he wrapped her in.

Moving her lips from his face, down to his neck and chest, Willow slid off of Spike's lap. He seemed to know what she had in mind, offering no objection when she used only her sense of touch to find the button and zipper on his jeans.  When these were unfastened, he raised himself slightly and allowed her to push his pants down around his knees.  He kicked off his shoes and was able to free himself from the last of the constraints of his clothing.  Running her tongue across one nipple, Willow continued her tactile exploration of the vampire, caressing his thighs and deliberately avoiding his erection.

A few more minutes of her sucking on his chest and touching him everywhere but where he needed it and Spike lost his patience.  He grabbed her wrists and stood up, taking her with him.  In a flash, she was equally naked and he sat down once more, pulling her onto his lap so that she straddled his legs with her knees on the cushions, facing him.  Very aware of what her childe wanted, even without the bond, Willow lifted herself just enough to slip him inside her and sank onto his thighs, joining their bodies at last.  His name escaped her lips in an exhaled breath, the first word either of them spoke since they had given up all thoughts of conversation and kissed.

Rocking her hips gently, Willow was free to continue her explorations of Spike's body.  She ran her tongue along his earlobe, feeling his fingers dig into her ass each time she hit a sensitive spot.  Her hands burrowed through his hair, holding him still while she kissed and licked any place she could reach without losing her rhythm, stimulating him more even as she satisfied him.

Spike's hands were not idle, and while they occasionally retuned to her hips to pull her down harder on him, they also roamed her body, cupping her breasts or slipping between her legs to tease her.  Their release was long in coming.  They had no reason to rush, not expecting anyone to interrupt them.  Willow wondered if Spike feared, as she did, that this might be their last time together, should she be forced to use the gypsy curse on him, if no other option could be found.  They made it last, moving softly together until the sun rose high enough to peer in through the windows and make them squint.

Hearing the stirrings in the hall indicating the start of the day, their urgency increased and Willow ground down hard with her hips against her childe until his demon appeared and she knew he was close.  His hungry gaze lingered on her shoulder and when he met her eyes again, she nodded to him but warned, "Just a little bit, this time."  If she managed to keep both of her vampire lovers much longer, she would soon need a friend at the Red Cross.

His fangs broke the thin layer of new skin over his bite and slid into her shoulder.  He let a small amount of blood flow into his mouth, just enough to taste and give them both the extra bit of stimulation they wanted.  He did not suck on the wound to encourage any more blood than would leak out naturally.  As Willow gave one last little moan and collapsed against him, he eased his teeth from her and resumed his human features.  He let her lay on top of him as long as she liked, not any more eager to disengage their other connected parts than he was to end his feeding.  He kissed the fresh wound and licked the blood from his lips until it ceased its light trickle.

"You really, really need to go," she said in his ear, seeming oblivious that she would have to get up before he could move at all.

"Why's that love?  Have I been bad?"  He stroked her back, which still heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

"Very, very bad," she confirmed.  Her face was still buried in his neck, her hands clasped around the back of his head from holding him to her shoulder, and even now she did not move to let him out from under her.  She hoped if she stayed very still pretending that nothing about her situation was the least bit odd, she could ignore the insistent tapping of reality at the edges of her consciousness.  She didn't want to face it that the man whom she lay against, sweaty and satiated, was not her mate, but her soulless demon childe.  She didn't want to remember why that was wrong or that Angel was upstairs, already mad at her for doing once what she'd just done again, with no regard for his opinion on the subject.  Mostly, she didn't want to admit that she was afraid of losing this strange connection she had with Spike, soul or no.

There was no question that it was a very real danger.  If she cursed him, he would never forgive her for denying him the happiness they shared, or the ability to seek it elsewhere.  If she didn't curse him, she would have to face the atrocities he would eventually commit, and it would drive them apart.  So for that moment, when they were happy, when he hadn't yet been too evil for her, or been cursed to feel too guilty for him, it was no wonder that reality seemed to be their worst enemy.

"Willow?  You gonna take another nap, love?"  Spike asked when several more minutes had passed and the witch remained in the same position.  "You could give a guy a complex with that.  Might start to think I bore you."

He felt her breathy giggle against his skin and knew she was awake.  At last she sat up and moved off of his lap, sitting next to him on the loveseat.  "I just don't want you to have to go.  Even though you do, you do have to go," she insisted, getting ready to put on her best resolve face.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, mocking her stern tone.  He got up to retrieve his scattered clothes.  Willow had to close her eyes when he bent over to pick up his shirt.  His very fine ass was right at eye level and the sight of it up in the air like that was not helping her determination.  She kept her eyes closed until she heard the sound of his zipper telling her that his most enticing parts were covered.  That's when she remembered that she was still completely naked and she wasn't sure that Spike would have any qualms about opening her door to leave with her sitting there in such a state, even when he did have a soul.

Willow was impressed to find her skirt and blouse still in one piece considering how quickly they had been removed.  By the time she had them on, Spike was reaching for his coat and she felt a pang, realizing that he really would leave now, even though she knew it was for the best.  "Where will you go?"  She asked.

He shrugged.  "Not out there," he indicated the windows where the sun was blazing with its mid morning glory.  "I'll be around, staying out of the way, snacking on Angel's employees. kidding, I'm kidding, love."  He chuckled at her expression of perfect horror.  "I'll be close enough for you to find me if you need to, until the sun goes down.  Then."  He didn't need to say what then.  Not letting any other part of their bodies touch, he leaned down and kissed her, not on the lips, but on the shoulder where his bite was concealed by her shirt.  He left without another word between them.

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