Part A: Willow's POV

This is silly. Not just that it's stupid. I'm just stood here staring up at
the outside of the hotel wondering whether or not this is a good idea.
Inside I suppose that I already know the answer to that question. I swore
after last time that I would never do this again, that if, when, it happened
again then I wouldn't be the one to go because it hurt too much. I'll never
forget the sight of realisation filtering into those beautiful dark eyes as
I sat there and he appeared. Momentarily excitement had filled him on seeing
me then it had fell away as he figured out why I was there.

How do you tell someone that the love of his life has died? I'd done it once
but even now I still can't entirely remember what I said even though I must
have spent hours preparing my speech on the drive to Los Angeles.

Then all those months later having to tell him that she wasn't dead, that
I'd brought her back and for whatever reason she didn't want to see him
herself. That she just wanted him to know that she was alive and moving on
and that he didn't have to go rushing back to welcome her home. The hurt on
his face that he tried so desperately to hide was almost enough to make me
curse her for putting him through something like that. How can you do
something like that to the man who meant to be the love of your life? Later
of course I had come to real that the slayer had been deliberately brutal to
be kind to the man. She had foreseen the fact that even after her return
there would be no future relationship between them. For a long time I had
felt guilty about being so angry with her after that realisation had struck
home.

So I said that I would never let myself be subjected to the experience of
watching the hope fade away, the will to continue simply disappear from his
eyes. It was true too. It was a promise that I had always meant to keep as
well; one of my most valued. Of course I knew why they all thought that it
should have been me to tell him. After the last time and since our
friendship had begun to grow all the more, they all assumed that I would be
the best one to go to Los Angeles and for whatever reason I found myself
agreeing despite the part of me that screamed for someone else to go. Giles
could have done it. Dawn could have. Hell even Xander or Spike or Anya or
anyone but me could have. But then they didn't realise I didn't want to go.
They never guessed and I never told then. Did that make this all my own
fault?

Somehow I had ended up stood outside of the hotel though, leaned against my
car and wondering how I was going to do this. Wondering whether I would be
able to turn around now and go right back home and let someone else do this.

"Willow!" a surprised voice called and I jerked my head around to stare down
the street at the figure of the approached woman. Her dark hair was still
cut in a neat bob, her eyes still as bright as ever. If it wasn't for the
change of clothes the woman could still be the same Cordelia that I had
grown up with. The biggest change was the child running along in front of
her. An eight-year-old Connor was clinging to the seer's hand dragging her
along at an unrelenting pace.

"Auntie Willow!" the little boy cried hugging me as the pair finally reached
the car.

"Hi Connor," I replied, messing his hair with one hand and looking at the
brunette over him. Something in my eyes must have spoke of the importance of
me being here because Cordelia's face turned serious.

"Tell you what, why don't you go inside and tell Angel that we've got a
guest," she said gently pulling the little boy away.

"Okay."

I watched him disappear inside, through the gates and across the courtyard
until the boy was out of sight. A hand being place on my wrist turned me
back. "What's happened?"

"It's Buffy." I began and it was all that needed to be said.

"Oh god!" The seer shook her head in disbelief. "How?"

"A demon threw her from the top of a crypt. She didn't react quick enough to
roll or protect herself and the fall cracked her skull and broke her neck."

We were both silent. In the distance the sound of traffic rolled towards us
but for the moment there was no one else in sight. I found I was grateful;
already knowing that at any moment tears might burst through the barrier I
had put up and roll down my face. Damn it surely I was past this by now! I
had already had nearly a week to deal with the knowledge of what had
happened.

"How long have you been stood out here?" Cordy asked finally and it seemed
to me that she had regained some composure. She too was now leaning on the
side of my car staring up at the building in front of us with an expression
of concern firmly fixed on her features.

"About an hour. I was kinda surprised that no one noticed."

"We've been working on a case, it's been a little time consuming. I decided
that Connor needed to get out of the hotel for a while. It gets
claustrophobic in there sometimes."

"I can imagine." It was the only thing I could think to say.

"How are you going to tell him?"

I looked down at the floor, suddenly becoming very interested in my shoes.
The laces were fraying. I hadn't noticed that before. "How can I tell him,
other than to tell him the truth? That and try and make it a little easier
for him."

She suddenly pushed away from the leaning position and stood before me, one
hand held out as if towards a child. "Don't put it off any longer." The
words were very direct and although I knew they made sense there was a
lingering feeling of reluctance in me.

The sun was behind her, making a silhouette of her and the hotel. Slowly I
reached for the offered hand. "I suppose I can't."
 

Part B: Angel's POV

Papers were spread all over the floor in every direction taking up a great
deal of the space available in the lobby. They were intermingled with books
and scrolls and the odd drawing or photograph that had seemed like it might
be useful and in the middle of it all sat Gunn, Wesley and myself. Fred was
off somewhere else in the hotel, the distant beat of her heart in a steady
rhythm telling me that she was safe. I wasn't entirely certain but I was
guessing she was in the kitchen.

I glanced up, as there was a patter of feet on the steps down into the
lobby. Conner ran in leaving a trail of dusty footprints in his wake and I
knew that Cordelia was going to have a fit when she saw the mess he was
made. He stopped just outside the ring of papers knowing that trouble would
be certain from Wesley if he mussed them, an excited grin on his face as he
called out, "Hi Dad."

I realised I was grinning in that ridiculous way that always seemed to drift
onto my face whenever I saw my son. My son, even thinking the words made me
smile. Standing I carefully made my way out of the ring of research and gave
the boy a hug about the shoulders while greeting him. Leaning closer I took
a deep breath from the scent that lingered on his t-shirt. "Willow's here?"
I asked, feeling a flutter in my undead heart. Her visits had become so few
and far between recently that I was beginning to wonder whether I had done
something to offend her last time she was here.

"Yup, she's outside talking to Mom. They sent me ahead to tell you she was
here. I think they wanted to have a girly chat or something." The little boy
climbed on a couch, slipping his shoes off and leaning on the back taking in
the sight of their work. "Still haven't found anything huh?"

"Nothing of particular importance no," Wesley said watching the Connor
bounce up and down seat with clear disapproval.

"Can I go get a drink?" the boy asked.

"Sure," I answered. "I think Fred might be in the kitchen. If you ask nicely
I suppose you might be able to persuade her to help you."

Frowning in that adorable way he was developing, the one that reminded me so
much of Cordelia, Connor replied, "I'm old enough to get myself a drink."

"Maybe you think you are but I seem to remember that last time you tried
orange ended up being spilt all over the floor. If Fred's there ask her for
help."

Connor nodded reluctantly. "Okay," he agreed before heading off further into
the hotel.

"Why do you suppose witchy is here?" Gunn asked sitting back on his heals.
"I really hope it isn't more work."

"She could just be here for a visit," I answer but there was a daunting
feeling growing in me. If it was a visit then surely she would have called
and let us know first. That was what she normally did. The thought worried
me and I moved towards the front door being careful to keep out of the
pattern of sunlight streaming in through the windows.

The two women were wandering down the path and into the courtyard and for a
moment it was as if the past decade or so was still to come. They were in
school again, young and full of excitement before years of working and
fighting against the darkness had worn them down. Now though the dark
circles about Willow's eyes became clear, larger and darker than I had seen
them in years. There were crow's feet at the edges of her eyes and lines
beginning to form at the corners of her mouth. There was a solitary frown
line across her forehead, a recent addition since I had last seen her. Still
she was beautiful. Her hair longer now, falling past her shoulders in a
thick plait and the style of her clothes more classic, befitting her age but
she was certainly still the Willow who he had seen come into womanhood.

She looked up as they came closer and those green eyes that normally
sparkled with her own personal magic met mine and all I saw was tiredness.
It was suddenly all I could not to step forwards and approach her even
knowing that the sun was still fierce and burning in the sky. I could see
her hesitating and her lower lip beginning to tremble. The look on her face
had made me more than worried now and panic was setting in. The feeling made
me turn to Cordy who was holding the other woman's hand. They seem to be
supporting each other. My seer stared at me with wide, concerned eyes and
she opens her mouth as if to say something before closing it again and
remaining quiet.

"I need to talk to you," the red head said and the straining of her voice,
the way she moved uncomfortably from one foot to the other, told me whatever
she has to say I'm not going to like it. "In private if at all possible,"
she adds as if I hadn't guessed that already. Still I have to remember that
the lot back in Sunnydale are much more open as far as discussion are
concerned than we are sometimes.

"Okay, follow me then."

I led her through the lobby where she gave a brief hello to Gunn and Wesley
who greeted her from their position in the middle of the research. We left
Cordelia with them and moved into my office where the witch took the seat
normally reserved for clients and I leaned on my desk. She was nervous
again, I could practically smell it on her and she fidgeted in her seat
continuously trying to avoid looking at me directly.

"What's the matter?" I asked finally putting a hand under her chin so she
would look at me. It was disconcerting to try and capture her attention
every other moment only to have her glance away. Her eyes were so sad that
the dread that had been getting stronger in me takes on a new strength.

"Its." She began and quickly stood up and moved away to the other side of
the small room. When she stopped her back was to me and by this time an idea
of what this visit may be about has entered my mind. "I didn't want to
come," she said quickly. "I mean, I didn't want to have to do this - ever."

"She's dead isn't she?" I ask quietly and a heavy sinking feeling comes over
me. Like a great wave it covered me and left me wondering whether I was
going to choke.  Thoughts rushed through me in a torrent and for a time I
was incapable of making sense of them. "Can't you. Last time you."

"There's no spell this time Angel. Even if there was then I don't think I'd
use it. She made me promise after last time that I wouldn't do something
like that again. I don't think she ever really forgave me."

"Willow." I interrupted hearing a choked sound in her voice.

".And I figure that by now she deserves more than a little peace. She lived
so long."

"Willow."

"What?"

I stood up and moved to stand behind her in the gloom of the office. Her
posture was very stiff, very straight and she clutched at the bag that she
had brought with her tightly till her fingers turned unnaturally pale.
Placing a hand on her shoulder I drew her around slowly. From this position
it was clear to see that her eyes were filling up with tears and that one
had already started to slide down her cheek. Wrapping my arms about her I
pulled her to my chest. "Shh. Don't cry. It's going to be alright."

"I didn't want to come. I didn't want to have to tell you. Not again, not
ever again. You don't deserve that." She was shaking her head, rocking
against my chest. Holding her closer I buried my nose in hair that smelt
comforting, like apples and vanilla. Guilt rose in me rapidly that she
should be here, so obviously worried about me when her own grieving period
was no where near over. The worst part through was the knowledge that her
being here was exactly what I wanted in spite of whatever hurt it was
causing the witch clinging to me, in spite of the hurt that her coming here
brought me.

"Things will be fine Willow, just fine. We're going to be fine," I said and
even to myself I realised I didn't sound convincing.
 

Part C: Willow's POV

Cordy had shown me to one of the first floor rooms, not too far from Fred
and down the hall from Conner and the seer herself. On entering the first
thing I noticed was the redecorating that had happened since the last time I
was here. It was very much Cordelia's taste. This room had become an old
friend over the past few years but it felt slightly alien to be standing in
it now after my talk with Angel. The brunette left quickly to find Conner
who was making much too much noise elsewhere in the hotel but Fred remained,
moving nervously about the room and stopping every so often to smile at me
in that unsure way that she had held onto ever since first coming to live in
L.A.

"Do you. I mean is there," she paused to take a deep breath. "Is there
anything else you need?"

Shaking my head I replied, "I've got everything I need thanks." Sitting on
the edge of the bed I slumped back and closed my eyes. They were still
embarrassingly red and sore from crying earlier and I didn't really want
anyone else to see them. How could I have acted so stupidly? The thought
almost made me groan. Here I was intending to comfort him and instead I had
ended up wrapped in his arms.

"How long are you going to be here?" the other woman asked quietly and I
jumped slightly because for a moment I had forgot that she was in the room
with me.

"I don't know. As long as he needs me to be here I guess." After a moment I
called out, "Fred? Are you still here?" There was no answer so I struggled
to sit up before meeting her eyes as she watched me from across the room.
"What's wrong?"

"Y-you're going to go away?"

"There's still a hellmouth that needs protecting in Sunnydale. Its going to
be more difficult than ever now."

She nodded and began another circuit of flitting about the room. "He'll need
time to get over the news. Do you think he'll go away again? No I don't
suppose he will, will he? What with you here and everything and things being
as busy as they are. No he won't go away."

"Is there something the matter Fred?" I asked again, phrasing my question
slightly differently and tucking hair behind my ears before watching in
amusement while the other woman mirrored my action self-consciously.

"Its just that, well, I don't want him to go away and he will if he gets
hurt. You don't know what its like here when he isn't here and well, what
I'm trying to say is that he's been hurt enough already so don't hurt him
anymore. That's it, I'm going to go now." She disappeared from the room in a
flurry leaving me sat, deadly still, waiting for her words to dawn. A frown
appeared across my forehead and I stood up moving towards the door only to
find that she was already out of sight. Why would I hurt Angel?

I moved from the bedroom doorway and walked slowly down the hall. Light was
fading from the high windows making the hotel seem overly gloomy and
depressing. That ended up making me choke back a bitter laugh. How
appropriate.

Elsewhere someone pressed a light switch and the darkness was chased away by
the fake glow. Pausing at the head of the stairs steps I stared down at
Angel as he suddenly embraced Conner and the young boy said an embarrassed,
"Aw Dad."  The vampire took no notice and held onto him longer still. The
boy gave no sign of wanting to pull away for the time being either. Cordy
glanced up at me, concern filling her eyes and I made my way down the steps
towards them. As I neared the bottom Cordy took my hand and led me away
without saying a word. It was clear that she didn't want us to disturb the
grieving vampire.

When we were a little distance away she said, "Lets leave them alone for a
while. You must be hungry by now. Luckily for you the kitchen is open all
hours in this place."

Glancing back over my shoulder once at Angel and his son I nodded and
followed the seer the rest of the way to the kitchen. The meal turned out to
be something that Wesley had cooked before heading home from the evening.
Surprisingly it was tasty and I found myself asking for seconds and eating
it along side a beer that Cordelia handed me from the refrigerator. I ate
until my stomach groaned in a mixture of pain and satisfaction and as I did
so I tried to remember how long it had been since I last eaten. Certainly
not since I left Sunnydale and before that. Who knew? Perhaps not even since
we had buried Buffy. Placing down my knife and fork I declared, "If I eat
anymore I'll burst." Cordelia smiled at me from her position across the
table. "I'll have to remember to thank Wesley when he some in tomorrow. Are
you certain that he won't be back tonight?"

"Sure. It's his night off. I don't blame him for getting out of here when he
had the chance to be honest." I must have had a startled expression on my
face because the seer added quickly, "Oh not like that. I didn't mean it
like that. You know I wouldn't run out on him like that."

"Of course not. I never meant to suggest." I replied growing panicked that
she thought I was criticizing her.

"Chill Willow. Relax. I know what you mean. As far as Angel is concerned I
think we're both more than a little overprotective."

"I guess so," I admitted reluctantly, not entirely understanding, and
suddenly more than a little of me was curious as to what the seer meant. It
felt strangely like we were having two different conversations, much as it
had when Fred had given her rambling speech earlier on. What on earth was
going on that I wasn't seeing but that they did?

A Cordy patented smile drifted onto her face abruptly. "Its so great we
understand each other so well now," the brunette answered standing as she
did so. "I'm going to see about putting Conner to bed. He's a an exhausting
day and there's school tomorrow." Before I could reply the seer left.
 

Part D: Angel's POV

When I found her she was seated at the kitchen table, a magazine of some
sort discarded in front of her and the last evidence of the fact that she
had eaten soaking in the sink. At first she didn't notice me stood in the
doorway and I was able to take in the sleepy expression she wore so
prominently and the sight of the coffee pot floating across the room towards
her waiting cup. When it was safely position on the table I said, "I seem to
remember someone telling me that they gave up magic years ago."

She jumped, eyes wide and deer like despite their colour. "I did. Well I
almost did. The floating thing comes in useful when staking vampires."

Nodding I stepped closer, taking one of the other chairs. "There was a part
of me that knew you would never be able to give it up completely. I've seen
how the ability to do magic affects people. It's a difficult thing to give
up. The others don't know do they?"

Shaking her head she replied, "No, though I think Anya suspects. She was
around all things magical too long while she was a demon not to have a small
inkling."

"Its probably for the best," I found myself saying although there was more
than a little doubt in my heart. "This way they won't ask you to try and
bring her back again will they, right?"

Our eyes met and she said, very seriously, "There isn't a way anyway. I
wouldn't be able to collect together all the necessary ingredients again.
Without them all the spell can't be performed."

I felt my demon growl a little, letting us both know that I was hungry and I
wondered whether the witch before me had sensed anything. Somewhere in the
mist of things I had forgotten to eat. It was always at times like this that
the demon was strongest. For the first time since she had arrived I realised
that the creature inside of me had been on its best behaviour, a conclusion
that made me both suspicious and curious. To sate us both I prepared a mug
of blood, half leaning on the counter with my back to her to drink it.

"I see Spike feed all the time," Willow told me, giving me permission to
seat myself back at the table even though I still felt uncomfortable.

"I've been thinking," I said broaching the subject very carefully. "If its
not too much trouble, if they don't need you too much in Sunnydale right
now, how would you feel about staying here for a while?"

For some reason I had been expecting an instant reply, either negative or
positive but instead she seemed to take the time to think if over. It seemed
like an eternity passed as a clear rush of thoughts swept across her face,
as full of expression as it had always been for all the years I had known
her. It almost made me want to take back what I had said but instead I said,
"I'll admit my reasons aren't entirely unselfish. It's been along time since
you last visited and I've missed you." I let out an uncomfortable sigh and
took a small sip from the mug because I couldn't think of anything else to
say that would make me seem any less like the fool I was obviously behaving
like. If it had been possible for vampires to blush then I knew at this
moment I would have.

"Cordy kind of suggested that I should stay. At least I think she did. And
well, I missed visiting too."

"You did?" I asked, unable to keep the surprise and the pleasure out of my
voice and then promptly growing angry once again with myself at how eager I
must have sounded to her.

"Sure. No matter how long you're lived here you'll still be a friend, one of
the Sunnydale lot, one of the Scoobies." She smiled as she said it and the
anger I had been experiencing faded to a feeling of immense stupidity. Of
course I was one of the Scoobies, I always would be to her. I was Angel the
souled vampire. Angel who was a warrior for the PTB.  Angel the boyfriend of
her dead best friend.

"Angel," Gunn said appearing in the door. "Wes is here. He thinks he found a
lead on the demons."

"I'm coming."

"You don't have to. We can take care of it."

"No, no. I'm coming. The girls can stay here and we'll go." I rushed out of
the room before either could object, leaving a bewildered Willow wide eyed
and wondering.
 

Part E: Willow's POV

It always amazed me how quiet the hotel was at night. I suppose that I had
expected Angel, as a vampire, and the others as his partners to be at their
busiest then but for the most part it seemed as if they either spent these
hours away from the building or tucked up in bed asleep, like I was. Like I
was meant to be. As things were Angel, Gunn and Wesley had yet to return and
Cordelia, Fred and Conner were in bed. Every so often I would here the creak
of the landing as Cordelia left her room and went to check whether or not
they and returned and she had missed their arrival. I knew this was a
regular occurrence whenever any of the hotel residents were out on a night
on business. They had not; I knew because I had not been to sleep yet.

Cordelia's little excursions away amused me. Even as the youngest of the
adults she had taken on the role of mother to the others. It was as if
Conner's arrival in their lives had extended her own purpose further than it
first appeared. She wasn't just Conner's mother; she was the woman of the
house, the alpha female. I didn't envy Conner when he started dating. I had
the feeling no one would ever be good enough for Cordy's little boy.

I twitched, rolling over in bed and wondering whether I had really heard a
noise down stair or whether I had imagined it. Evidently I wasn't the only
one to have heard something because a moment later there was that creak to
tell me the seer had also heard and was investigating. Climbing out of bed
and slipping into my dressing gown as silently as I could, I walked quietly
out into the corridor to see Cordelia a little way in front of me, a
battle-axe clutched firmly in one hand. She glanced up as I appeared and put
a finger to her lips telling me to be silent. I nodded my understanding.
Together we approached the balcony to look down at the lobby below, just in
time to see Angel emerge from the basement door closely followed by the two
other men. After letting out an exasperated sigh Cordy marched down the
stairs with me following closely after.

"What's with the stealthiness?" the brunette snapped still holding the axe.
She waved it at the three men. "Someone could have got hurt."

"We didn't want to wake you," Wesley replied. He shook his hands sending
bluely black slime flying in all directions.

"Oh yuck! Stop it!" she said jumping backwards out of the way. I grinned at
them, moving to help Angel as he struggled to remove his slime covered coat.

"Just leave it where it falls," he said. "Try not to get any on yourself."

"This is never going to come off," the British man exclaimed. "I'm going for
a shower."

"I'll join you," Gunn added causing eyebrows to be raised all around. "That
didn't come out right. I'm going to shower in a different shower."

I failed to suppress a giggle and after an irritated look from them both the
two men turned, heading upstairs.

Cordy too chuckled. "And on that note I'm going back to bed. Try not to get
slime on the carpet, it isn't that long since it was last cleared."

"I take it you killed the demon?" I asked turning to face Angel once
Cordelia had gone from sight. He had an amused smile on his face as another
trail of the substance made its way down his cheek slowly.

"We did," the vampire answered. He looked down at himself. "You know I think
that this stuff is multiplying."

Pulling off my dressing gown and wading it up into a ball that would just
about fit into one hand I began using it to wipe off the worst from his
shirt. "Have you any idea how funny you look?"

"No, but from that radiant smile I guess I must. Here, get this bit." He
took hold of my hand and the dressing down in his larger one and ran it up
his neck and across his jaw. For a moment I was sure that that he wouldn't
let me draw away. His hand held mine to his face, our mutual smiles long
gone as he stared down at me. There was something in that gaze I hadn't
noticed before - a heat. It scared me - almost, not quite. I wasn't entirely
sure what was happening. I felt my breath coming in short, shallow draughts.
There was an odd silence, full of anticipation, filling the air between us.
Then suddenly he was leaning forwards and I knew this was going to happen if
I came here.

His lips descended on mine, incredibly soft and gentle and tender and. Oh, I
think I'm melting because for some reason my legs don't seem to be working
very well right now. Thank goodness he's wrapping an arm about me, strong
hand gripping my waist almost painfully while the other takes the ruined
dressing gown from my hand and drops it to the floor beside us.

This is wrong, very wrong and yet I'm almost entirely sure that it's why I'm
still here; why I didn't just deliver the news and go home. Was this what
Cordy could see that I couldn't? Is that was Fred was trying to tell me?
Sometimes I could be so stupid.

He's deepening the kiss and I realise that I've been unconsciously kissing
him back with equal ferocity. With a sharp movement I find myself pressed
tightly to him and he's snaked a hand up and under the tank top that I wore
to bed, cool fingers expertly stroking the flesh of my back and then
trailing around over my stomach and going up to find the rise of my breast.
Did someone set my skin on fire when I wasn't watching? He cups me, thumb
grazing the raised flesh of my nipple and for a moment I'm embarrassed that
my body is responding to him like this. Then he roughly nips me causing
goose flesh to break out all across my body while his tongue continues to
devour my mouth. Letting out a groan I step back, breaking free of his arms
and breathing heavily. Angel steps forwards and I have to put a hand out to
stop him though he keeps coming until my fingers are splayed across his
chest.

"Don't." I murmur and I can't decide whether I really want him to stop or
not. Everything in me is screaming that this is a bad idea, that he's going
looking for a moments comfort after his one true love's, his soul mate's
death, but looking into his eyes there something that make me doubt that
conclusion. They're dark with lust, almost animalistic. I can see it is
clearly that I'm left wondering whether my own appear the same. A tension
has spread through his body mirroring them and suddenly I'm blushing about
the memory of the feeling of him pressed up against me and knowing that I
apparently caused that.

Perhaps he felt the falter in me because his hand covered mine on his chest
making it impossible for me to step away. "I can smell you Willow," he said
coming closer. Once again I found myself stepping away. A smile appeared on
his face, devilish and promising and I felt an ache begin in my stomach,
heat spreads to my groin. "I can hear you heart beat. I can hear you
breathing and the feel the glow of heat from your skin." He let out a small
burst of laughter. "You don't want to stop."

"Maybe I don't but we should. It isn't right."

Cocking his head to one side he answered, very simply, "Maybe I don't
entirely care about right and wrong at the moment. Do you know how long it's
been since I felt someone warm by my side? Too long. I never could, what
with her memory hanging over me. She can't haunt me anymore Willow and I
need you."

"Oh Angel," I said sadly. "You mustn't think like that. Buffy always wanted
you to be happy." I took one final step back even knowing that he will
follow me and collided with a wall. Damn.

"Did you ever think that this would make me happy?" he asked and his tone
had become indulgent now.

"That's not necessarily a good thing either," I found myself reminding him
then had the sense to look embarrassed.

He kissed me again, only a peck this time though. "There's no need to worry
about that," Angel replied, punctuating his soft words with kisses and oddly
I found his words reassuring. "We've been friends so long Willow. I've
watched you grow so wonderfully. Always I've sat back and watched even when
I wanted other things. You've no idea how many time I've looked at you and
wondered about how it would feel to have you."

"Angel," I protested and my voice was breathy. This wasn't fair, why was he
doing this to me. I tried to step to one side but his put a hand to the wall
and stopped me. "This is a really bad idea," I said and even to me my voice
have sounded unconvincing.

His eyes glittered. "You want me." Hand slipped past the waistband of the
shorts I had worn to sleep in and pushed them down my legs till they fell in
a heap on the floor and I was left wishing that I had put underwear on
before climbing into bed. Closing my eyes and trying to think of a way out
of this that wouldn't completely ruining the friendship we shared I tensed
as I heard the noise of the zip on his trousers. It wasn't as if I had never
thought of sleeping with Angel. He'd been a major figure in several of my
teenage fantasy and had developed the habit of popping in and out of them
even as I grew older but this was ridiculous. He didn't really want me. He
couldn't really want me. It was all just a hopeless ploy to try and make
himself feel better and it wouldn't work. I suddenly remembered my words to
Fred earlier in the evening. I had claimed that I was going to stay as long
as Angel needed me. Wasn't this a form of need? Shaking my head I realised
that I was trying to rationalise what was going to happen.

I moaned aloud as he rolled up my top, exposing my breast to the cool night
air in the lobby, then lifted so that he could capture a nipple in his
mouth. Keeping me propped up against the wall he lowered me ever so gently
onto his cock, slipping inside of me and filling me. Instinctively I wrapped
my legs around his middle. Angel squeezed my buttocks tightly, surely
leaving marks and kissed his way up my neck while beginning a slow rhythm
inside of me. As he neared my ear he whispered, "You are so beautiful," and
it suddenly seemed like we had been like this forever. I put arms on his
shoulders and sort out his lips feeling the beginnings of a wonderful
tightness in my belly. Gone were all thoughts of guilt; I no longer felt
their deafening screams that had punished me in the past when I had felt the
need to seek out his touch even if it were only in my imagination. The
matching pant of out breaths, though his was unneeded, sounded out in the
silence of the hotel as his pace increased deliciously. I could feel the
rough texture of the wall at my back rubbing my skin making it sore and
making me cling all the hard to the vampire thrusting into me.

No thoughts would come to me only a longing for the feeling growing inside
of me never to end. Even that though was mixed with a desperation that he
would not drag the sensation on any longer than he had to because I felt for
sure that tears would come to my eyes if I didn't find release soon. "Oh
Goddess. please." I said throwing my head back and my words sounded hoarse
and needy. His hands were suddenly everywhere at once, or so it seemed. They
were alternately gentle and rough and he began to slam me back against the
wall in harder and harder until I was certain that there would be bruises on
my back. It amazed me that no one came to investigate the noise we were
making. Then suddenly the sensation in me exploded and spread out like a
wave and I cried out his name digging fingernails into his shoulders leaving
red half moons on his skin. He thrust several more times then shuddered and
came, grunting as he did so.

We were quiet. Once again the only sound was the combined one of our heavy
breathing. Angel leaned into me, still holding me to him and off the ground
and hurried his face into my neck. He held very still and after a moment or
two I felt something wet touch my shoulder and realised he was crying. I
didn't draw back but hugged him, stroking his shoulders and neck and then
the back of his head with one hand. "Shh Angel," I said. "You'll be okay."
And this time I wasn't sure whether I was lying or not.
 

Part F: Angel's POV

She left. The very next day she left without warning shocking us all. I
didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't mean for any of it to happen. Not
really. But lord God she had looked delicious, stood there with hair falling
all about her and beautiful pale skin almost shinning despite of the lack of
light. Graceful and magical she had looked, a creature of old but eternally
young and beautiful. There was something about Willow that had always
attracted me. The look of her eyes was always kind, her voice had never
taunted or caused pain and I had always gained the impression that she would
be able to forgive me no matter what I did. That was probably the largest
part of her charm for me. I hadn't been lying when I had said that I had
watched her grow and wanted her.

Even now I'm not entirely sure why I did it, why I took that final step and
crossed the line.

Then when she had kissed me back and I had realised that at least on some
level she wanted me too I had taken full advantage of the situation. I had
acted selfishly; like a complete idiot. I had taken her, been insistent when
she had said no knowing that in the end she wouldn't deny me if she thought
it would help because that was the sort of person she was. Willow could
never stand by and watch another suffer even if it meant sacrificing some
part of herself. Hanging my head I rubbed my brow thoughtfully. Still it had
been so sweet to feel her heartbeat quicken so close to me, to smell in the
air the evidence of her lust and see in those large green eyes the cloud of
satisfaction.

And now she was gone and she's never going to talk to you again you idiot, I
thought angrily and all because you couldn't keep control of yourself for
longer than five minutes. Behaving like a teenage boy like that.

Sighing I remembered the way that I had cried on her shoulder, letting tears
that I had been holding onto all day slide over us both. I remembered the
way I had carried her upstairs and into her bedroom, the way she had let me
fully undress and climb into bed beside her to be held and comforted even
though I didn't deserve it. The way she had let me bed her again, enjoy the
warmth of her living body, and the way that she had been gone by the time I
woke in the morning and the sense of shame that had washed over me in that
instance. God she had been so sweet whispering words of comfort and strength
into my ear that I knew must have been hard for her to voice and yet did
nothing to stop her from saying. There hadn't even been a note to tell us
all where she had gone but I knew she had headed back to Sunnydale, back to
her duty. If there was one of us who would never forget their duty it was
Willow.

I looked up to find Cordelia staring at me, the expression on her face
unfathomable. It startled me. I hadn't even realised that she was near until
that moment. "Maybe you should go after her," she suggested, not moving from
where she stood. It seemed to me that she didn't sound very certain, very
sure that it would be the right thing to do.

I shook my head. "It wouldn't help."

"What happened?" she asked and I remembered the way the seer had looked at
me when she discovered that Willow had gone off without so much as saying
goodbye. There had been something disapproving in her eyes, even if she was
unsure of what exactly she disapproved of, that reminded me of how well
Cordelia knew me now. The shame of my actions washed over me once more as I
considered what they would think of me if they ever discovered what had
happened.

"It doesn't matter," I answered trying to sweep away the disconcerting way
she was looking at me. "She's gone. We should get to work."

"Angel." the brunette began but then paused as if to think. "She'll be
back."

Meeting her gaze very firmly I answered, letting her know my thoughts and
fears, "She might but it won't be for me. I know that, I saw it in her
eyes."

"Then you see a great deal more than I do. Strange that, I thought I was the
seer," she said then turned and left me alone again. Her words hung heavy
with sincerity in the air. Watching her go I wondered what it was that
Cordelia could see that I couldn't. Like she said, she was the seer - not I.
 

THE END

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