"If you really wanted to help me then why the hell didn't you ask first?" I
  complained, running my hand through Willow's short red hair. My short red
  hair, now.

  "Don't you think I would have tried to ask you first if I'd though you'd
  have accepted my help?" Willow replied tearfully in my deeper baritone.
  Hearing my voice coming from my mouth, saying her words was unnerving. It
  was like being in an episode of the Twilight Zone ala Sunnydale.

  I exhaled in exasperation, taking pleasure in the passage of breath through
  my lungs. Despite our predicament, it felt good. Damn good. I held door
  to my office open for her. She brushed by me, leaving a trail of water on
  my new hardwood floors.

  Another burst of irritation hit me. Cordelia badgered me for months to
  install new floors. It would be a perfect topper to an already miserable
  day if a weeping, sopping Willow caused them to buckle.

  We took the elevator down to the lower level, where I live. Fortunately,
  Cordelia was gone for the weekend, gone to visit her impoverished parents.
  And Doyle...Doyle was gone forever. We had the whole place to ourselves,
  Willow and I, which was good cause this was the most embarrassing thing that
  had ever happened to me.

  Willow dripped her way across my living area and into the kitchen. She
  seemed intent upon not leaving a square inch of dry floor. In perfect
  fairness, I was soaking wet too. Both of us were. It was pouring outside
  and we had walked over two miles in the rain after Willow made me wreck my
  car.

  My car. Grr... Grr...another sore spot.

  "I mean, you're such an dunderhead sometimes," Willow continued. "Who knows
  what you might have done if I had explained the blessing to you." She
  turned to me, tears welling up in her--my--dark brown eyes. She sniffled,
  loudly, and wiped her runny nose on the sleeve of my expensive black leather
  trench.

  "I am not a dunderhead!" I exploded. My voice rose steadily with my new
  feminine pitch. Hers, mine, mine, hers... My God, this is driving me nuts.

  "You are!" Willow stomped her foot and changed to game face. "You are the
  world's worst dunderhead in the history of the world and I am so fed up with
  your selfish, egotistical, arrogant MALE ways!"

  My own eyes glared golden menace my way and a surge of panic swept me. Her
  control over my demonic half was tenacious at best. "Um, Willow," I said,
  holding up placating hands. "Honey, please calm down."

  "I'm not your honey!" she howled. I began to fear for my life. Suddenly, I
  was aware of how big and intimidating I am up close, especially to the
  slighter female form. She moved forward with a menacing threat and I
  retreated. Oh God! Was I about to be done in by my own fangs? It would be
  the ultimate irony to end this way.

  "You MEN! You're all the same!" She shook her head and her eyes glowed
  fiercely. "Leaving and thinking that you know what's best and leaving and
  not caring about anyone else but yourself!" She grabbed my upper arms.

  "Willow!" I interrupted in desperation. "I'm not Oz!"

  She stopped and blinked. Realization and then shame dawned in her eyes.
  "Oh!" she exclaimed, staring at her hands gripping my arms with punishing
  force. "Oh!" She let go, regarding her hands with horror, as if they were
  the possessed demon hands from the god-awful movie last year.

  She moaned. I felt sorry for her. Our body switch seemed to be harder on
  her than it was on me. After all, I had gotten the better deal by a long
  shot. Tentatively, I tried putting my arms around her. It was harder than
  it sounds, considering that she now towered over me. I settled for hugging
  her waist.

  "AngelIdon'tknowwhattodo.I'mSOOOOOsorry," she whimpered. Her paw-like hands
  patted my back with sad futility. Good grief but I have big hands. Some of
  my anger with her fled in the face of her obvious contrition.

  "Willow, it's OK," I assured her, "Everything is gonna be fine." I wished
  that I could believe it but the platitude sounded good. "Tell me about the
  spell and maybe I can find a way to undo this."

  Willow sniffled again, peering at me with red-rimmed yellow eyes. I wished
  that she would revert back to her human mask but there was no explaining how
  to undertake the transformation and I did not want to make her
  self-conscious.

  Without saying a word, she reached into her pocket and extracted my half of
  Mitzpah she had given me earlier as a gift. I had stuffed it into my pocket
  and promptly forgotten about it in the confusion following our body swap and
  the subsequent traffic accident.

  "This was supposed to anchor your soul so you and Buffy could be happy
  together without you going bye-bye." She sniffed. "I must've gotten the
  incantation wrong."

  A light went on in my head as I stared at the small gold medallion. I
  reached out and took it from her, squinting at the inscription. It was not
  the standard "friends-parted-yadayadayada".

  "This is Gaelic!" I exclaimed.

  "Right," Willow gave me a drunken nod. "It had to be in your native tongue
  for the spell to work."

  "Souls exchanged in friendship, made permanent for all time," I read aloud.

  "Oops," Willow muttered, frowning. "I must have used the wrong verb.
  That's supposed to say, 'Soul gifted in friendship, made permanent for all
  time'."

  "Oops," I parroted with extreme sarcasm. It was not lost on Willow, who
  looked at me with wide, hurt eyes.

  "It's the thought that counts," she defended.

  I ground my teeth. Maybe later I would be able to objectively appreciate
  her charitable sentiment, but at the moment I was two stages short of
  blowing a fuse.

  "Never mind that now. I'm gonna need you to show me the exact spell you
  used, including all of the components, if we're gonna find a way to undo
  this."

  "OK," she agreed readily enough.

  "First of all, let's get out of these wet clothes," I ordered. In
  demonstration, I began to shed my sopping socks and shoes.

  "Eeeiiikkk!" Willow shrieked as I began to unbutton my blouse. I jumped
  sky-high. "Don't you dare take my clothes off!"

  I stared at her shaking finger in frustration. "Willow, I'm freezing! And
  it's not like I haven't seen you naked..." I swallowed the 'before' but it
  was too late.

  "Since when have you seen me naked?" She stuck her hands on her hips and
  her flat, broad chest jutted out in the silliest manner imaginable. She
  glared at me.

  I opened my mouth, caught dead to rights and then shut it again. No point
  in compounding one sin with self-incrimination. If vampires have any rights
  under the Fifth, then I plead...except that I am not a vampire anymore.

  "OH!" Willow stared. My face must have been an artwork in guilt. "You
  spied on me, didn't you?"

  "I was soulless at the time," I excused. Oops, Angel shut your trap now
  before... Too late!

  Without another word, Willow spun on her heel and marched off toward my
  bedroom. She slammed the bedroom door shut behind her. My bedroom.

  I followed her over to the door, leaving the soaking wet clothes upon my
  borrowed body. So what if I was shivering up a storm! So what if my body
  got sick! That would show her!

  Ack! It had already begun! Two hours in this body and already it was
  befuddling my sense of logic! I hurried over to the kitchen and removed my
  clothes, gratefully wrapping myself in a fleece throw Cordy gave me. She
  said it was "festive".

  I will admit to sneaking a quick peak. For once, I regretted my aversion to
  mirrors. Nice, very nice. Willow has great tits...soft, firm, full. The
  temptation to play with them was great but I could only imagine her reaction
  if she came out and caught me in the act.

  I sat down and waited. She was in there forever. The longer I sat there,
  the more worried I got. Finally, I got up and went over to the door. I
  knocked.

  "Willow?"

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