LONELY TOO LONG
by Inell







June 2003

Willow sighed as she watched Buffy dancing with her new husband. Buffy was married. Willow couldn't believe it. She glanced around the dance floor, her eyes finding Xander and Anya. They had been happily wedded for two years. She was alone. Since Oz had left her, what was it four years ago already, she had been alone. No one had been able to catch her interest. She had been hurt so deeply that she didn't want to take the risk again. She went over and told Giles that she was leaving. She didn't want to see Buffy leave. It would just be a final reminder that she was going back to an empty apartment. Buffy had moved all of her stuff out the day before. She walked out into the night air and breathed deeply. She hated this sadness. She noticed something in the shadows and stopped, a smile coming to her lips.

< Well good morning

Tell me how did you sleep last night?

You're still smiling

So we must have done something right

Don't feel guilty 

Because you turned to me last night >
"Hi" Willow said softly, her eyes looking at the man in her doorway.

"Morning" he said huskily, his eyes on her.

"Would you like some coffee? or toast? I have toast."

He chuckled. "Nothing for me. About last night...."

"Stop" Willow said softly. "I don't want to hear about how wrong it was. It felt right."

< It's only natural

When you've been too long in the dark

To look for comfort

And to warm yourself by the fire

We're just afraid

That we might get our fingers burned >
"I didn't intend for it happen" he said, running his hand through his hair.

"I didn't either. But, it did. It was nice."

"It was fucking marvelous" he muttered "But it was wrong."

"I haven't had anyone in four years...I know it was wrong, but I won't apologize. I never meant for it to happen. I did just want to catch up with you."

"Me too. I couldn't resist. Your face in the moonlight...." he drifted off as his eyes roamed her face. He chuckled softly as she blushed. "After all that we did, you can still blush?"

"I guess so" she said softly. "You're leaving." she said it matter of factly.

"Yes" he whispered. "I can't stay. It was just such an emotional day....I don't want to hurt you Willow."

< Nothing's wrong that can't be cured

With a new love

All you need is someone like me

To be sure of

To be your love >
"Is ok." she said softly. "I've gotten used to the leaving. Everyone I care about leaves me."

"Don't" he begged softly.

"What are you scared of?"

"I can't love you...not the way you deserve. I care about you...a lot. I just can't do this....not again. It never works."

"I'm not her" she said softly, her green eyes wide with tears.

< I'll be waiting

Standing right outside your heart

And I'll be watching

For the slightest sign of a spark

And I'll be here

If you should want to turn to me >
"No, you aren't" he agreed softly bringing his hand up to wipe away a stray tear.

"I think I've loved you since I first met you" she said softly. "If I were truly honest with myself. I didn't mean to...it just happened."

"I have to go." he said, closing his eyes.

"I know. I knew. I should have stopped us....but I couldn't."

"I couldn't either." he said, opening his eyes again. "As you said, it felt right."

"I was so lonely. I've been so lonely" she whispered, running her finger over his lips. "I loved waking up in your arms...."

"Willow...please" his voice broke.

"I'll be here....if you change your mind."

"Don't wait for me" he said softly as he kissed her deeply. He moved away, taking one last look at her. She watched as he left into the night.

"I'll always wait for you my Angel" she said softly, touching her lips as the tears fell down her cheeks.

< We ain't done nothing wrong

We've just been lonely too long

No we ain't done nothing wrong

We've just been lonely too long >
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