QUE SERA, SERA (19/?)
 

Cordelia opened her eyes, a small smile crossing her face as she turned her
head. She looked at Xander's face, watching his eyes flutter as he slept. She
moved her hand up and traced the lines of his face, remembering the taste of
his lips, the feel of his hands. She sighed softly, the slight ache between
her legs reminding her exactly how they had spent most of the late evening
and early morning hours. She was no longer a virgin. Xander was no longer a
virgin. She didn't really feel any different. Except for that slight ache,
her body felt normal. She knew it was silly to think that she would wake up a
changed woman. Yet, in some ways, she did feel different. She was no longer
an inexperienced child. She remembered the baffled way she and Xander had
approached their first time, neither really knowing what to do but having a
vague idea at the same time. She could not think of having shared such a
special time with anyone except him. She loved him so much.
 

She watched as he slowly came awake, his dark eyes opening and looking at
her. A soft smile crossed his face as he licked his lips, turning his head
against the pillow. His hand came up, brushing a lock of hair from her cheek.
"You ok?"
 

She nodded, the feel of his hand against her face comforting, "Yeah. You?"
 

"Great," he said, smiling a slightly goofy grin. "I love you, Cordy."
 

"Love you too," she whispered, almost wishing they never had to leave the bed
and the room.
 

He studied her face, leaning over to kiss her gently before pulling back.
"These last few days," he started, knowing that they hadn't had a good few
months before coming to Rome. He wasn't stupid. He knew that they had been
having trouble. But, since deciding to get Angel and Willow together, they
had been rediscovering the reasons they had gotten together in the first
place. After the dinner the night before, they had been so caught up in the
romance of the evening that they had ended up making love. It was the best
night of his life and he knew that he couldn't lose her. "I don't want to
lose this. Ever."
 

"Me either," she said softly.
 

"Would you be my wife?" he asked in a rush of words before he lost his nerve.
 

"What?" Cordelia said, her eyes wide.
 

"Come on, Cor. Marry me?" he asked again. "Make me a happy man?"
 

"Are you sure? I mean, marriage?" Cordelia repeated, surprise evident in her
voice.
 

"Do you not want to marry me?" he asked, his face falling.
 

"No. Yes. I don't know," she said, "This is so sudden, Xander. And it's not
fair!"
 

"Not fair?" he said, moving to sit up.
 

She sat up too, the sheet falling from her full breasts. "It isn't fair!
We've had a rough few months and just now I'm starting to feel that you
really do love me and you spring this on me? I mean, what am I supposed to
say? We're so young. We just graduated high school for pete sake. How can we
get married and think that it will last?"
 

"Beacause we love each other damn it," he said. "I've seen marriages last
much longer without that love. Why can't ours work?"
 

"I don't know if it will or not," she said, "but it's scary. I don't know
what to expect or to even imagine happening."
 

"Will?" he said, his anger leaving his face as he stared into her watery eyes.
 

"Will," she sniffled, running a hand through her hair, "I don't know if this
is smart, Xander. It could very well be the stupidest thing we've ever done
besides stay at the Hellmouth, but it feels right. Besides, Cordelia Harris
has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
 

"It sounds perfect," he whispered happily, claiming her lips again as they
fell to the bed.
 

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