QUE SERA, SERA (19/?)
Cordelia opened her eyes, a small smile crossing her face as she turned
her
head. She looked at Xander's face, watching his eyes flutter as he
slept. She
moved her hand up and traced the lines of his face, remembering the
taste of
his lips, the feel of his hands. She sighed softly, the slight ache
between
her legs reminding her exactly how they had spent most of the late
evening
and early morning hours. She was no longer a virgin. Xander was no
longer a
virgin. She didn't really feel any different. Except for that slight
ache,
her body felt normal. She knew it was silly to think that she would
wake up a
changed woman. Yet, in some ways, she did feel different. She was no
longer
an inexperienced child. She remembered the baffled way she and Xander
had
approached their first time, neither really knowing what to do but
having a
vague idea at the same time. She could not think of having shared such
a
special time with anyone except him. She loved him so much.
She watched as he slowly came awake, his dark eyes opening and looking
at
her. A soft smile crossed his face as he licked his lips, turning his
head
against the pillow. His hand came up, brushing a lock of hair from
her cheek.
"You ok?"
She nodded, the feel of his hand against her face comforting, "Yeah.
You?"
"Great," he said, smiling a slightly goofy grin. "I love you, Cordy."
"Love you too," she whispered, almost wishing they never had to leave
the bed
and the room.
He studied her face, leaning over to kiss her gently before pulling
back.
"These last few days," he started, knowing that they hadn't had a good
few
months before coming to Rome. He wasn't stupid. He knew that they had
been
having trouble. But, since deciding to get Angel and Willow together,
they
had been rediscovering the reasons they had gotten together in the
first
place. After the dinner the night before, they had been so caught up
in the
romance of the evening that they had ended up making love. It was the
best
night of his life and he knew that he couldn't lose her. "I don't want
to
lose this. Ever."
"Me either," she said softly.
"Would you be my wife?" he asked in a rush of words before he lost his
nerve.
"What?" Cordelia said, her eyes wide.
"Come on, Cor. Marry me?" he asked again. "Make me a happy man?"
"Are you sure? I mean, marriage?" Cordelia repeated, surprise evident
in her
voice.
"Do you not want to marry me?" he asked, his face falling.
"No. Yes. I don't know," she said, "This is so sudden, Xander. And it's
not
fair!"
"Not fair?" he said, moving to sit up.
She sat up too, the sheet falling from her full breasts. "It isn't fair!
We've had a rough few months and just now I'm starting to feel that
you
really do love me and you spring this on me? I mean, what am I supposed
to
say? We're so young. We just graduated high school for pete sake. How
can we
get married and think that it will last?"
"Beacause we love each other damn it," he said. "I've seen marriages
last
much longer without that love. Why can't ours work?"
"I don't know if it will or not," she said, "but it's scary. I don't
know
what to expect or to even imagine happening."
"Will?" he said, his anger leaving his face as he stared into her watery
eyes.
"Will," she sniffled, running a hand through her hair, "I don't know
if this
is smart, Xander. It could very well be the stupidest thing we've ever
done
besides stay at the Hellmouth, but it feels right. Besides, Cordelia
Harris
has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"It sounds perfect," he whispered happily, claiming her lips again as
they
fell to the bed.