Author Email: jackieb@kconline.com
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of the characters. That pleasure belongs to Joss & Mutant Enemies.
Couples: W/A, like you were expecting anything else
Category: Drama/Romance
Spoilers: This is my take on one of the many possibilites after S6/S3
Rating: R
Dedication: To Murray and Ann who have been great about beta
reading this story and to everyone who has sent feedback.
Distribution: Just let me know where it's going
Summary: Willow tries to help her friends by making the ultimate sacrifice but will any of them accept it? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Prologue~
October, 2004
Racing into the hotel, Angel easily spotted the small figure lying face down on the lobby floor in a spreading pool of blood. "Willow!" Ripping open his shirt he prepared to slice open his chest, willing to turn her rather then lose her to death. But even as he reached for her he could tell it was too late; there was no heartbeat, no breathing.
Cradling her in his arms, Angel buried his face in her hair, the red of his tears blending in. He could feel the grief begin to eat at his soul. This was his fault. He should’ve known better than to leave her here alone. But she’d seemed to accept the situation and the risks involved; too accepting he realized now.
He had known her for over eight years, she’d lived with him for more than two and they had been lovers for almost a year, he should’ve known she was pretending. All the signs had been there. Angel gave a bitter chuckle as he held her tighter. What was the saying about hindsight being 20/20?
"Angel," Fred called softly, choking back her own tears.
Jolted from his own thoughts, Angel became aware of the sounds of others crying. Lifting his head, he saw Buffy and Xander locked in each other’s arms as they knelt on the floor, seeking comfort at the loss of their friend. Letting his gaze move pass them, he saw Connor softly stroking Dawn’s hair as she sobbed against his shoulder.
Seeing that, Angel thought how pleased Willow would be; she was such a romantic. She had been telling him since Dawn had come to visit the first time, that she and Connor would be good for each other. His tears came faster as he realized she wouldn’t be there to watch the budding romance.
Brushing her hair back from her face, he paused; looking at the way it flowed over his fingers like blood. Angel cupped her cool check in his hand, missing her warmth. Closing his eyes in pain, he drew in a shuddering breath. His beautiful elf, he’d never again see her green eyes light up with laughter, there’d be no more watching her sleep and waking her up with kisses to make love all morning.
Pulling her closer, Angel once again buried his face in her hair, desperately drawing in her scent and letting it wash away the smell of her blood. He didn’t want to let her go; they hadn’t had enough time. It seemed like only yesterday that they’d declared their love for the first time. Closing his eyes, Angel let the memories wash over him, taking him away from this brutal reality.
~Chapter 1~
Christmas Eve, 2003
Making his way downstairs, Angel shook his head when he spotted Willow working at the computer. "You know everyone’s going to think I’m a scrooge if you keep working," he teased.
"Don’t worry about that." Finishing the sentence she was typing, Willow turned and faced him, giving him a mischievous smile. "Everyone already thinks that."
"See if I give anyone their Christmas presents now." Angel pretended to be indignant, delighting in Willow’s laughter, something he still thought she did too little of. "Seriously, what are you doing working instead of getting ready for the party?"
Saving what she had been working on, Willow shrugged, making sure to avoid looking directly at him. "Fred went to pick up the outfits she wants us to wear so I figured while I was waiting I’d work on updating the demon database."
Not fooled by the casualness of her reply, Angel sat down on the desk in front of her and gave her a sympathetic look. "Nervous?"
"No." Seeing the understanding in his eyes, Willow sighed and ran her hand through her hair. If there was anyone she could honestly talk to about this it was Angel; he’d been through this himself, several times.
"I don’t know what to expect. This will be the first time since everything that happened last spring that we’ve been together for more than a couple of hours. I want things to be the way it used to be between all of us but I know it can’t," she finished in a faint whisper.
"Oh, Willow." Angel grabbed her hand and pulled her up into a hug. He knew all too well what she was feeling, the fear of having lost a friend. A fear made all the more hurtful by the fact it wasn’t death that could take them away but your own actions. "I can’t promise you things are going to be the same because everything changes. What I can promise you is that Buffy and Xander are still your friends."
Willow pulled back but Angel wouldn’t release her hand so she stood between his knees. "How can they be? I did such horrible things and I nearly killed them." Her hand tightened around his like it was a lifeline as the memories of that terrible day washed over her.
Lifting her chin, Angel let her see the sincerity in his eyes. "They’ll still be your friends the same way you remained theirs, by forgiving." Seeing the protest forming on her lips, he placed his finger over them. "Yes, what you did was a lot more serious and darker than their transgressions, which is why it’s taken so long for things to heal between all of you. But true friendship is also about being there after they’ve fallen."
Willow saw the shadow cross his face and knew he was thinking about Wesley. The two of them had nearly destroyed their friendship and even now things were still shaky between them. "A very good friend once told me, you can’t undo the past so all you can do is let it go, learn from your mistakes and try to do better in the future. Words I’ve learned to live by." She cupped his cheek in her free hand, her turn to offer him comfort.
Angel couldn’t help but smile at her words. He remembered telling her that when she had come to live with him a month after she had killed Warren and tried to end the world. She had been so far down in a well of self-loathing that she had been precariously balanced on the edge of being suicidal. He was glad his advice had brought her back, closer to the vibrant girl he remembered from his time in Sunnydale.
"Fine. I won’t brood and you stop worrying about Buffy and Xander’s reaction. If they weren’t anxious to strengthen your friendship they wouldn’t be making the trip here. Unless you think it’s me Xander is coming to visit," he teased, trying to lighten the mood that had turned somber.
Willow couldn’t help but snort at that. "I don’t think so." Xander had come along way from the days he actively hated the souled vampire, but they were nowhere near the stage of friends.
"You mean the moron doesn’t like me? I’m hurt." Angel gave her an injured look that she didn’t buy for a minute.
"I can tell," Willow replied dryly. "And don’t call Xander a moron."
"Why not? He still calls me Deadboy." Seeing the stern look in her eyes, Angel gave a resigned sigh and began to pout. "If you insist, I promise not to call Xander any names while he’s here."
She rolled her eyes at his theatrics. "I really should hold you to that promise. But the holidays are about enjoying yourself and you and Xander would be miserable if you couldn’t insult each other."
"True," Angel confirmed as he gave her an unrepentant smirk.
"Is it a guy thing? Or do the two of you just derive joy from acting like five year olds?"
"Hey!"
Willow laughed at his offended protest. "Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Buffy and I have wondered about that for years."
"You’re going to have to pay for that," Angel threatened as he slid to his feet as he tightened his grip on her hand, not allowing her to pull free.
Trying to control her mirth, Willow gave him her best, chastened look.
"Oh no, that’s not going to work. Not only did you just compare me to a five-year old, which is bad in and of itself, but also to Xander as well. I think that deserves a tickling at least." He quickly followed his words with actions.
Shrieking with laughter, Willow twisted trying to break free of his grip.
"Are you sorry?"
"Y-yes," Willow got out between giggles.
"Humph, why don’t I believe you?"
"Are we interrupting something?" An amused voice sounded from behind them.
Turning, Angel quickly released Willow as she turned bright red. Standing in the doorway was not only the rest of their coworkers but Buffy, Xander and Dawn.
~Chapter 2~
Christmas Eve, 2003
Sighing, Angel looked over at the stairs for the tenth time since Willow and Fred had gone to change. What was taking them so long? They’d been gone an hour already, more than long enough to change clothes. How was he supposed to relax and enjoy himself without Willow? And Fred, he hurried and added. It wouldn’t be a Christmas celebration without all of his family.
Well, Cordy wasn’t able to be here but he would see her later tonight when he dropped off her presents. Maybe he could talk Willow into going with him. Angel brightened at the thought of spending more time with the redhead who had come to mean so much to him.
"I don’t know why I’m wasting my time talking to you when you’re not even listening."
"Huh?" Drawn out of his musing, Angel turned and looked blankly at the blonde beside him.
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a stern look. "You love her don’t you?"
Angel gave her a wide-eyed look. He hadn’t thought it was that obvious. "I…um…who?"
"You know who…Willow!" Buffy had to bite her lip to keep from grinning at the guilty look on his face; so much for the stoic vampire act. She was going to have to apologize to Xander for lecturing him on the childishness of baiting Angel; it was so much fun rattling him. Oh well, she’d make it up to him tonight, in a way they would both find enjoyable.
Angel stood silently, not able to bring himself to lie to his ex-girlfriend but not wanting to hurt her either.
Finally, relenting and letting him off the hook, Buffy dropped her arms and broke out into a smile. "Relax, Angel, I’m not upset. Xander and I talked it over and we decided as long as you make Willow happy we have no objections."
"You and Xander?" Angel’s eyes narrowed as he realized she had been teasing him; time for a little payback. "I’d ask how things were going for the two of you but I can already smell it."
Buffy felt her face heating up at the mention of him smelling Xander on her. "If you open your big mouth and ruin our announcement I’ll…" she thought for a moment before finding the perfect threat, "I’ll tie you down and have Xander tell you jokes."
"No! Anything but that!" He shuddered in mock horror before holding up his hands in surrender. "My lips are sealed. I won’t utter a word about how you and Xander smell like each other."
"Good, see that you don’t." Buffy refused to blush a second time; it took away her advantage. "Now let’s get back to talking about you and Willow." She grinned again as he shifted uncomfortably, at the change in subject.
"Willow and I are just friends."
"Yeah, right!" She wasn’t buying that excuse, not after what she had seen earlier. "It sure didn’t look like that when we came in."
Angel was glad vampires couldn’t blush or this time it would be his face that turned red. "We were just…"
"What? Being friendly?" Buffy lifted her eyebrow in disbelief.
No, friendly didn’t describe what he had been feeling earlier when he’d had Willow in his arms. When she had first moved to LA teasing each other and tussling had been about friendship. With all the dark stuff going on in his life Angel had been glad to have someone who treated him as a friend and Willow after what she had done was glad to have someone she could laugh and play with who didn’t worry about her turning on them. Sighing, Angel ran his hand through his hair. Somewhere along the line his feelings had changed deepened and now he wasn’t sure where they stood.
"Stop that!" Buffy slapped his arm, snapping him out of his dark mood before he could start brooding. "First off, you’re a vampire so enough with the sighing. And second, falling in love with my best friend is something to be happy about, not all broodful about."
"Yeah, if she was in love with me too."
Buffy choked as she realized the problem. "You don’t think she’s in love with you?" Regaining her composer, she turned towards the man she loved. "Xander! Come here a second."
"Buffy! What are you doing?" Angel hissed, watching nervously as the brunette walked over to join them.
Buffy ignored the glare Angel was giving her and explained, "Xander, Angel doesn’t think Wills is in love with him."
Xander stared at them for a moment before bursting out in laughter. Reaching out, he slapped the souled vampire on the back. "Oh man, I though I was dense when it came to women. Nice to know there’s someone who’s worse than I am."
Angel started to scowl before the meaning of his words penetrated. "You think she loves me?"
"I know she does. And if you still have doubts why don’t you ask her yourself." He gestured at the stairs.
Turning, Angel was glad he didn’t need to breathe; he wouldn’t have been able to. Willow was making her way downstairs dressed as one of Santa’s elves. The short green skirt showed off her long legs and the cap perched on her head made her red hair gleam.
Not aware that he had moved, Angel met her at the bottom step.
Looking up at him, Willow nervously pulled at her skirt. "Not quite Jewish but I didn’t want to disappoint Fred." She gestured to the brunette who was wearing a similar outfit but Angel never took his eyes off her.
"You look beautiful." Taking her hand in his, he pressed a kiss on to the back of it.
At his compliment Willow gave him a shy smile that quickly blossomed at the warmth in his eyes. She could feel her body begin to thrum at the love and desire radiating from him. "Thank you."
Angel fought down his body’s reaction to her husky voice. Now was not the time but with his senses so attuned to her, he was aware of the changes in her body and knew he’d have plenty of time later. So forcing his body under temporary control, he offered her his arm. "Shall we go entertain our guests, my beautiful elf?"
Basking in the affection flowing from him, Willow laughed as she linked her arm through his. "Lets."
For Willow and Angel it was the beginning of the best night of their lives; a night that swiftly became one of their most cherished memories…and the beginning of the newest chapter of darkness in their lives.
~Chapter 3~
October 2004
"Angel." Fighting to control her tears, Buffy pulled herself out of her fiancé’s arms and walked over to the kneeling vampire. "We need to call the paramedics."
"No!" Angel glared up at the blonde. There was some sort of mistake; there was no way the PTB would take his love from him, not after everything he’d been through for them. Willow would come back to him; he just needed to hold onto her until then. Turning his attention back to the soft form in his arms, he stood up, cradling her against his chest and headed for their room.
Buffy stared after the retreating vampire torn by indecision. She didn’t want to leave him alone in his emotional state, but she wasn’t sure she could be in the same room with the lifeless body of her friend and not break down. She couldn’t afford to break down, not now.
"I’ll go with him. You stay here and look after the others," Xander offered, knowing her concerns and agreeing with her that Angel shouldn’t be alone at the moment.
Turning around, Buffy leaned against his chest, once again amazed by the strength of his heart. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He put his arm around her shoulders both drawing and offering comfort. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he released her and headed up the stairs after Angel.
It hurt, almost as much as the gaping wound of her friend’s death, that she wasn’t strong enough to offer emotional support to the two men who meant so much to her. How could her best friend be gone? It wasn’t fair! Both she and Angel had died and come back. Why not Willow? At that last thought, Buffy paused. Wait a second! Why couldn’t she be brought back?
Taking a deep breath, she struggled for control, pushing all the pain and tears aside. What she was feeling could be dealt with later; right now she had a plan of action. "Gunn, go find Faith and Wesley. Fred, I need you to help me here. We need to figure out the exact spell or ritual Willow was trying to use. Dawn, Connor, start looking through the books for any resurrection spells."
Dawn’s eyes widened and she stared at her sister in shock. She wasn’t sure they should try and bring her back to life; she knew how much it had hurt Buffy. But out of all of them Willow would understand if they did, she reassured herself, clinging to the slim promise that the offer gave her. "What about the spell they used for you?"
Buffy ran her hands through her hair as she thought. "That one required ingredients we don’t have and that’ll take time to find. We need to look for one that we have everything for, or can get easily. If we can’t find one, we’ll rely on the spell Willow used."
"Don’t you need someone with strong magic to cast the spell?" Fred asked tentatively, hope beginning to spark within her that the girl she called a friend wasn’t truly gone.
"That’s why we need Wesley."
"And Faith?" Gunn knew things were still strained between the two girls. The only reason they made the attempt to get along was lying dead upstairs. He closed his eyes in pain at the words but made himself face the truth. He hoped they were successful in bringing her back but he wouldn’t allow himself false hopes.
Buffy’s eyes turned cold causing the others to shiver. "She and I are going hunting."
********
Spike sat and stared at his blood-covered hands. Why had it been so difficult to kill the witch? Out of all those he had killed, her death should’ve been the most satisfying. She was the one most responsible for imprisoning Angelus and destroying his family. He should’ve brought her back here and tortured her for the pain and suffering she had caused his grandsire. Instead he’d made her death quick and clean, slicing her throat, not even drinking her blood.
Truthfully, just the thought of draining her had made his dead heart ache. When he had entered the hotel and seen her waiting for him, his mind had been flooded with pictures; images of kissing the blonde Slayer, of the little girl crying on his shoulder, and of the redhead comforting him while he cried. Even as he had struck out at her, giving her a merciful death, he knew the images were false, that the witch was trying to trick him but still the pictures burned in his mind, calling to him.
"Shh, my Spike," Dru crooned as she ran her hand through his hair. "Things are going as planned. The red witch is dead and soon my Daddy will be home and we will be a family again." Kneeling in front of him, she pulled one of his hands closer and licked at the rich blood coating them.
Giving a threatening growl, the blonde yanked his hand back. There was no way he was going to let Dru drink Willow’s blood. Spike froze as for the first time in months his mind cleared. Oh, God, Willow! He started to tremble as the memories of what he had done washed over him.
"Spike?" Dru reached out to him but he jerked away in disgust.
How could he have listened to the crazy bitch before him and turn on the only people he had ever called friends?
Jumping to her feet, Dru grabbed Spike by the hair, forcing him to meet her eyes.
Spike found himself looking into the familiar brown eyes of his Sire. He briefly registered the insanity and feral intelligence in them before his thoughts fractured and spun away.
"That’s it, love. Let Mommy make it all better," Dru purred as all of his feelings for the nasty Slayer and her friends were swept away, replaced by love for her.
After several moments, Spike shook his head. "Dru, love, what’s wrong?"
Giving a whimpering cry, the dark-haired vampiress melted into his embrace. "The nasty witch put a spell on my Spike. Trying to take him away like she did my Daddy."
"Oh, Princess, I’ll never leave you. I love you," he told her as he placed soft kisses on her neck.
"Show me," she demanded as she tilted back her head, giving him better access. Soon he had her moaning in pleasure as he proved his love. She relished the attention he lavished on her, knowing soon she’d have both him and her Daddy by her side and that they’d never leave her again; they’d promised her.
********
Entering the bedroom Willow had shared with Angel, Xander came to a halt at the sight before him. Angel was lying on the bed, wrapped around Willow, rocking her as he whispered in her ear. Moving closer to the bed, he once again stilled, as the vampire’s words became audible.
"You can’t take her. You can keep your promises of being human; just give her back to me. I’ll fight whatever you want me to, no more straying or questioning. But I need her to help keep me on the straight and narrow. Please!" Giving up on his pleas to the Powers That Be, he began to entreat his mate. "You’ve got to come back to me, love. Remember, you said I brood too much, that it wasn’t healthy for me. But how can I smile, let alone laugh, without you. Please, love, don’t leave me."
Feeling fresh tears streaming down his face, Xander sat down on the other side of the bed, reaching out to stroke her hair.
At the intrusion, Angel looked up with an angry snarl, which swiftly faded when he saw who it was. It was only fitting that the boy be here; in his way he had loved Willow as much as he did.
Xander wanted to see her face, to be able to hold her hand and join Angel’s plea for her to come back. But maybe it was better this way; he didn’t have to see the wound or the blood, the tangible reminders that his best friend was gone.
"Willow you have to come back. We all need you so much. You are a part of us. Sometimes I think the best part. I can already hear you denying that, but it’s true. You were the one who always saw the best in us and made us believe in it too."
Xander stared at the delicate form beside him. She looked so small and fragile, something he always forgot about when she was al…awake. Her personality had always overshadowed her physical appearance; at least for him. Watching the souled vampire once again start to murmur gently to the redhead, he realized that with Angel she’d had it all. He loved all of her quirks and special traits plus he desired her physically.
"If…if you can’t do it for the rest of us then do it for Angel. Yeah, I know me, the last person you’d expect, championing Deadboy. Well, that’s because of you. Even after Buffy and I got together a part of me was still jealousy that he had you; you were suppose to stay in Sunnydale with me. I mean you were *my* best friend, not his." Xander paused and took a steadying breath. "But I watched and saw how happy you two were and for the first time in my life I believed in soul mates. You two completed each other in ways that still amaze me. Y-you can’t leave him here alone, living only half a life. Please, Willow!" His voice broke as his control gave way and he was once again racked by sobs.
His own tears coming faster, Angel reached out and pulled the boy down beside them, wrapping his arm around him so that the woman they both loved was caught between them.
Xander wrapped his arm around the dark-haired vampire as he buried his face in his best friend’s hair, letting the tears come. "I-it’s my fault."
Laying his tearstained face against the top of his mate’s head, Angel looked down at the brunette. "No, it’s not."
"Yes, it is!" He cried. "Buffy and Dawn tried telling me something was wrong with Spike. But I was jealous and insecure and brushed their concerns aside, telling them he was just adjusting to having a soul."
"There’s no way you could’ve even have guessed what was going on, not before it was too late." But he should’ve. If he had done something that night things may never have gotten this bad. But like Xander he had been jealous of Willow’s feelings for the blonde.
~Chapter 4~
Christmas Eve, 2003
"Such a beautiful lass shouldn’t be so melancholy. That’s reserved for
miserly, old vampires." Sitting down on the steps beside her, Angel took
Willow’s hand in his, pressing his lips against the back of it. He’d always
taken pleasure in their casual touches, taking every opportunity to brush
against her, but now he couldn’t stop touching her.
Willow’s heartbeat picked up as his soft Irish lilt caressed her ears. Even if she had wanted to, she couldn’t resist the gallant, old-world charm he rarely let show. Turning towards him, she gave him a flirty smile. "What pretty words! I can see how Master Liam sweet-talked so many ladies into his bed."
"Ah, but Master Liam has grown up." Lifting his free hand, he let his fingers stroke the soft skin of her cheek. "And Angel reserves his charms for a certain beautiful redhead who stole his heart."
Melting at his words, Willow’s eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into his caressing fingers. She had seen glimpses of his feelings in his eyes and actions since he had met her at the bottom of the stairs tonight but this was the closest he had come to telling her directly what he was feeling. Opening her eyes, she let all the love she felt for the dark vampire shine through. "It’s only fitting that I have your heart since you have mine."
Angel drew in a deep breathe, not needing the air but almost as if he was trying to inhale the love pouring off the woman in front of him. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips gently across hers before reluctantly pulling back. Seeing the desire now mixing with the love in her gaze, it was Angel’s turn to close his eyes as he shuddered with suppressed need. "If I kiss you I can’t guarantee I will stop," he explained desperately, not sure who he was trying to convince her or himself. The only thing he knew was if she didn’t stop looking at him like that he was going to take her here and now, friends and curses be damned.
"Oh," she said weakly, trying to figure out why that would be a bad thing. Suddenly, the reality of their situation crashed down around her, breaking the spell he had wove around her. "Oh!" Looking down at the floor, Willow used her lashes to veil her desire. Once she had it under control, she glanced over at their friends; glad to see they were all still congratulating Buffy and Xander on their engagement. Well, almost all of them. She blushed as she met her blonde friend’s delighted gaze.
Desperate to get his mind off images of making love to the redheaded elf beside him, Angel brought up the topic that had originally brought him to her side. "Why were you so pensive? Are you upset about Buffy and Xander?"
Once again looking over at her friends, Willow shook her head. "No. They’re good for each other." Turning back to Angel, she flashed him a mischievous smile. "Though I’m going to have to get on them about not telling me that they were dating."
"I think you should. They deserve to be raked over the coals for keeping secrets," Angel encouraged her, remembering the couple-in-question’s teasing of him and his feelings for his witch earlier.
Knowing her vampire very well by now, Willow arched her eyebrow wondering what had happened between the three of them when she was upstairs earlier.
Seeing the curiosity in her eyes and not wanting to discuss his conversation with his ex and her current beau, Angel once again turned the subject back to his earlier question. "If it wasn’t the engagement then what were you thinking about to put you in such a pensive mood?"
Willow’s smile faded as she was reminded of her earlier concerns. "I’m worried about Spike."
"Spike?" Angel fought to keep the jealousy out of his voice. He knew that Willow and his blonde child had struck up a friendship when he had arrived back from South America, that there was nothing for him to be jealous about. That fact didn’t stop the green-eyed demon from rising up as he listened to her talk about him.
"I was hoping he’d come up for the holidays, even if only for a day. But when I talked to Dawn, she said that he wasn’t doing so well. That he had taken to holing himself up in his crypt, avoiding all of them." Willow sighed. Dawn had also told her the one time she had stopped by the crypt to see him, he had actually yelled at her to leave him alone, which was very uncharacteristic of the blonde. All in all it made her very worried that there was something seriously wrong with him. "I think when Buffy and them leave, I’ll go back with them for a day or two to check in on him."
Angel bit back his snarl of denial at the though of Willow leaving. "I need to go check on the refreshments." Shoving to his feet, he quickly made his way towards the kitchen.
Bewildered, Willow sat and watched him stalk away. Shaking off her confusion, she jumped to her feet and hurried to follow him.
Entering the kitchen after him, she watched and winced as he pulled containers out of the refrigerator, setting them on the countertop. He wasn’t banging things around, she could’ve handled his temper easier, but he was moving with a silent, restrained force that told her that whatever she had said had him hurting.
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought up Spike. I know your feelings for him are complicated," she offered quietly in apology, figuring her mention of the blonde had brought back bad memories.
"That’s alright. You have the right to worry about your friends." Angel’s voice was devoid of all emotion, another clear indication of how upset he truly was. He had dropped his shields around her months ago. "Are you planning on taking your stuff with you when you leave or do you want me to send it to you?"
"What?" She blinked in astonishment. Obviously somewhere along the line she had lost track of the conversation. "When am I leaving?"
"You were the one, who said you were going to go back to Sunnydale with the others so you could check on Spike, I just assumed you’d want to take your things with you."
Willow’s eyes widened as she realized what he was thinking. "Angel, it would only be for a day or two at the most. I couldn’t leave you not permanently," she reassured him tenderly.
"Because of the visions?" Angel gave a careless shrug, keeping his attention grimly focused on the platter in front of him in an effort to keep the pain at bay. "I’m sure you could find someone to pass them on to just like Cordy passed them to you. Until you do you can just call me and give me the details of whatever you see."
Eyeing his rigid back, Willow shook her head in pained amusement. Angel was usually so strong and self-confident that she forgot that in some cases he was as insecure as she was. "My staying here has nothing to do with the visions."
"Well, after tonight you no longer have to worry about your friends not completely accepting you." His mind busy grappling with the thought of being alone again, he blindly reached into one of the containers and pulled out the contents and arranged it on the platter.
Huffing in exasperation, Willow marched over to him, grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her. "I can’t leave you because I’m in love with you and couldn’t imagine my life without you in it, you idiot!"
Angel stared down at her, searching her eyes. Finding the truth in their depths, he pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him as he caught her mouth with his. Several minutes later, knowing she needed to breathe, he lifted his head. "I’m sorry for doubting you, love. It’s just whenever I find a small bit of happiness it always ends up being taken away," he whispered into her ear.
"Oh, Angel." Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I’ll always be here. Who else would keep you from brooding?" Lifting her head, Willow gave him a teasing smile. She paused, her smile melting away as she realized she could meet his eyes without having to look up. Taking a good look around since their kiss, she frowned as she found herself sitting on the counter. "How did I get up here?"
At her query, Angel’s eyebrow lifted and a satisfied smirk curved his lips, his earlier doubts soothed by her impassioned declaration. Pure masculine gratification went through him at the realization that she’d been so consumed by his kiss that she hadn’t felt him move her. "I lifted you," he informed her, his tone reflecting his mood.
"Hey!" Willow slapped his chest lightly, objecting to his smug tone. "You better watch it or I won’t ever let you kiss me again."
His smirk deepening, Angel leaned closer and flicked his tongue out at her pouting lower lip. "Do you really think you could hold out?"
Willow keened low in her throat as his tongue played with her lips. "Probably not," she acknowledged huskily, before twining her fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth down harder onto hers.
This time it was Angel’s turn to moan. Pressing her down against the counter, his hands roamed wildly over her beckoning curves as he attempted to devour her with his mouth. He came back to his senses as he felt her hands on his bare chest, having at some point unbuttoned it. Pulling his mouth away from hers, he rested his forehead against hers as he caught her hands. "We can’t."
"Why not? The others are all in the lobby they’ll be fine without us," she begged, her body tight with unfulfilled desire. Feeling him start to move away, she wrapped her legs around his hips, holding him against her.
Angel gave a whining cry of need at the feel of her warmth undulating against his erection, separated only by the thin material of his pants and her tights. "The curse!" He froze above her, knowing one unwise move and he’d be inside her and to hell with the consequences.
His sorrowful lament made its way through her lust fogged mind. Biting back her own shriek of frustration, Willow forced her legs to release him. "If I ever encounter the Gypsy who thought of the idea of adding the clause to your curse I’m going to strangle them."
Giving a hoarse chuckle, Angel stepped back from the temptation spread out on the counter and began to straighten and refasten his clothes. "You’ll have to stand in line."
Sitting up, Willow ran a shaky hand through her hair. She stared at the floor, afraid if she looked directly at him that she’d pull him back to her and finish what they had started. "We need to talk about my going to see Spike." She winced at her choice of topic afraid it would just reopen his wounds.
His shirt once again fastened and tucked in, Angel stepped closer to her, lifting her chin with one hand. "It’s alright. We’ll go together. And if Spike’s as bad as Dawn said we’ll bring him back with us."
"Are you sure? I know how volatile the situation between you and Spike is." Willow searched his eyes; pleased by his offer but not sure if she should accept it.
Angel shrugged. "I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea of Spike living with us." He had to suppress a snort at that understatement. Even knowing, Willow loved him the thought of her and his blonde nemesis living under the same roof brought a twinge of green to his vision. "But I also know that you’ll feel better with him here where you can watch over him." And he’d feel better having Spike under his scrutiny where he could make sure the irritating blonde didn’t have any ulterior motives in regards to his witch.
"Oh, Angel!" Throwing her arms around his neck, she hugged him. It was so generous of him to let Spike stay with them simply because he knew she was worried about her friend. "How can I thank you?"
Grinding his teeth, Angel fought back the wave of carnal images her innocent question triggered as well as the wave of guilt over her gratitude; his motives were very selfish. But his guilt didn’t stop him from taking advantage of her offer, at least in the option open to him. "You can accompany me when I go to visit Cordy later." The thought of the two of them walking hand in hand through the festival decorated streets had plagued him since he first thought of it and he was quick to seize the opportunity to fulfill this one fantasy.
"I’d be delighted to," Willow agreed delightedly. She wasn’t about to pass up the chance to spend quality time with her vampire. Besides she needed to thank Cordy for talking her into becoming Angel’s new Seer, if not for that offer she doubted they’d ever have reached this moment.
She lifted an eyebrow as a question occurred to her. "Do we need to bring a present to give her, her presents?"
Angel laughed, holding out his arms to her. "Cordelia’s never been one to turn down gifts, so I’m going with yes."
Smiling back at him, Willow let him help her down from the counter. "Well, we’d better go spend some time with our guests if we’re going to sneak out later to go visit Cordy, and in my opinion, her better half."
Smiling at the familiar teasing phrase, Angel pulled his redheaded witch out of the kitchen to join the others. Already anticipating the upcoming trip.
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