Part 4  What Dreams May Come

Willow POV

    We had all arrived at Angel's without too many problems. I had the
privilege of riding in the back seat with Graham. I try to be nice while he
makes conversation.  Part of me wants to tell him to shut up already.  I am
worried about Angel though.  After my meeting with the Oracles, things seem
different between us.  I mean the bond I have with him via the curse.  I
can't describe it, but it feels different.  In the office Wesley was sitting
on the couch.  He looked so haggard. I don't think he has shaved in two or
three days.  I see a blond woman, I want to say she is Kate, I have never met
her, but I know that is her name.

    She looks at us. "I am sorry, the office is closed today." She says.

    "We are here to see Angel, he's family." I say.

    "You are?" She says.  I can feel her protectiveness of Angel.

    "Willow?" Angel says.

    I hug him. I have never seen him like this.  He is so withdrawn. He feels
thin, almost gauntly.  Soon Buffy hugs him and places a kiss on his cheek. I
see the jealousy flash through Riley. Graham is just looking for a fight. "I
am glad you guys could make it." Angel says looking at the floor.

    "So that's Angel, nice." Anya says. Both Xander and Riley are now glaring
at Anya.  I try not to smirk. But sometimes I love her.

    After Angel introduces us, we get along, for the most part. I notice
Angel hasn't at all eaten. We talked, cried and hugged. I have never seen a
vampire cry, especially not Angel.  He was always the strong one.
Considering how much experience he has had with death, it is scary. Angel has
taken her death the hardest. It is getting late and the service is tomorrow
night.  Angel has made all the arrangements. Anya yawns loud enough for the
whole room to know she is tired.

    "Mr. Giles, I have a spare room at my place, you are welcome to stay."
Wesley says.

    "Riley, Graham and I can stay with Dad." Buffy offers. I am glad that
Graham is staying with them, the farther away from my stalker, the better.

    "I have a guest room." Angel says.

    "We will take it." Anya says. She then looks at Xander, mentally telling
him to get their things.

    "I can take the couch, Willow you can take the bedroom." Angel says.

    I just nod.   I watched as Buffy and her boys left. I went to get up and
then the pain came. It was a bunch of images that flooded my brain. I saw a
child; I felt intense fear. There were five vampires circling the boy,
playing cat and mouse with him.  I saw the address. Angel was at my side in
minutes with two aspirin and a glass of water.

    "Angel, go now, 5542 North street. The warehouse, kid, five big teethy
vamps." I said quickly, trying to get my balance back as well as my breathing
back to normal. Giles and Wesley share a look. I hate those looks. Angel
kisses my forehead and leaves, grabbing some stakes.

    "Stay with her until I get back." Angel says and then leaves.

    "You had a vision." Wesley says.

    "The Oracles, why didn't I recognize that design before? Willow, you are
his link to the powers that be." Giles finally spoke.

    "They said I had a destiny." I said, waiting for the headache to go away.
I see a sadness flash across Giles.  Something big has happened and I have
not been told exactly what.  I guess now I can relate to Buffy and her love
of obscure prophecies.

    "Willow, Giles told me of your nightmare.  I am going over the curse; I
have a friend who is a Romany scholar. He is looking at the text.  I think
that his soul might be permanent."  Wesley says. It is like I can almost see
a light flicker in his eyes.  I just shrug my shoulders. The couch was
offering my splitting head no relief.

    I waited for what seemed like an eternity since Angel had gotten back.
Finally the events of the last 48 hours have taken their toll.  I go
downstairs and fall asleep. My dreams have told me the curse was permanent
and I believe them. I think I hear Angel as he bids them goodnight. I then
close my eyes and lay back on the bed.
Part 5  Instinct and Impulse

Angel POV

    Willow is my link now; she has to be. I saw the panic in her eyes when
the vision came. I knew how Delia suffered with them. It did feel good to
take some aggression out. I can remember Buffy telling me that kicking ass
was comfort food. There is some truth to that. The boy is safe with his
family. I hurry home.  I am still kind of freaked out by Willow knowing so
much about me.  I never wanted to burden Willow or anyone else about my past.
I have not even told Giles or Wesley the full extent of my past.  Giles
already hates me. I know part of this comes from killing Jenny, hurting Buffy
and the games the demon played. I also think he is in love with Willow. I
need to find out what happened. I get home to find a worried looking Wesley
and Giles.

"She is your link now Angel." Giles says.  I can hear the sadness in his
voice.  He is in love with her. He knows that things will never be the same.
He knows she will stay with me.  Visions can drive a person mad. They drove
Dru mad, even before I ever came along. Granted, I made her problem worse.

    "Seems so. How is she?" I ask.  I am worried for her.

    "She is sleeping now." Wesley said.

    "Thanks for staying with her." I said. They did not have to, but they did.

    I watch as they leave my apartment. I slowly walk into my bedroom. Then I
saw her lying there. Her hair sprawled across the pillow. I see one of her
feet sticking out from the blanket. She looks so amazing. I almost wonder how
she can be comfortable, I could just watch the steady rise and fall of her
chest. I know she has been through so much. She still has a certain innocence
about her; I find it amazing.

    "Hey there." She says looking at me those wide inviting eyes. I am so
busted, as Delia would say.

    "Did I wake you?"

    "No, I am a light sleeper. Besides this sounds weird, but I felt you
enter the house." I know she is feeling exactly how things are changing
between us. I feel the bond with her changing.  I feel my struggle with the
demon within shifting, almost like we are meshing together. In the last few
hours, the demon and the soul have come to see Willow as ours. I go over to
the closet and get out the spare blanket and pillows.

    "Angel, this bed is huge, that couch is a medieval torture device, I
tried to nap there, but couldn't." She says sweetly.

    "No, it is okay. I have spent many nights on this couch.  It is not that
bad." I lie to her; the couch is awkward and uncomfortable, yet I do not want
to push her away. I find myself needing her and must have her. She has been
hurt so much by those she cared for, myself included.

    "Yes, it is." Willow said.

    "I have slept in worse." I said. There is truth in that statement.

    "It is quite a setup you have here Angel." She looks around my apartment,
surveying the place as though she owns it. I would give it to her in a
heartbeat if she demanded it.

    "Thanks." I look away. She is so beautiful; I don't want to stare.

    "Listen, Angel, please, the bed is huge, I think we can share as long as
you don't snore."

    "Willow, I don't breathe, how can I snore?"

    "Hey, I grew up on a hellmouth, anything is possible."

    "No, I will take the couch."  I am trying to be a gentleman, but god do I
want her.

    "Angel, this is my resolve face. We share."

    "But Willow... " She is killing me sweetly.  I would love to share this
bed with her, to feel her warm bare flesh against my cool skin. I only worry
if I can control the impulses to take what I think of as mine.

    "Resolve face."

    "What will Xander think?" I blurt it out, while trying not to sound too
pathetic. Xander would flip if her saw Willow and I together.

    "Please, that is a cop out. I will leave the door open. What does he
think that I am so hard up that I will resorting to fucking a walking corpse
who just happens to be my best friends ex-boyfriend?"  Willow said, then
blushing as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

    I just raised my eyebrow.  I had never known Willow to use profanity.  I
smiled as Willow blushed. "Angel, I didn't meant you. I meant, Spike."

    My jaw dropped. "No,Idon'tmeanthateither.  I just...get... crabby when
Xander and Anya go...toorgasmville." God, she is so cute when she rambles or
she begins to blush, a lovely shade of red that makes me so crazy.

    "It is okay." I said. All of a sudden I had this mental image of me,
Willow and Spike. I imagine my childe and myself buried deep inside her body,
her frantic heartbeat teasing me. Ok, Angel cold shower time.

    "Angel, I am sorry about calling you a walking corpse. It isn't that I
wouldn't with you, because of the undead thing, maybe the whole soul thing,
and I know it would hurt Buffy."

    "I knew what you meant Willow.  How long are you staying?" I needed to
change the topic quickly before my raging hormones gave me away.

    "How long do you want me?" I wonder if eternity is a good answer at this
point.

    "You are always welcome, Willow." I tell her. I wonder if she knows just
how she is effecting me.

    "I will stay.  It is my destiny." I feel a weight has been lifted from my
shoulders when she says she will stay. My demon makes a comment about not
having to kill anyone and what scares me is that my soul agrees.

    "Destiny?" I ask.

    "I dreamt of the Oracles, they told me of the visions, they told me a lot
of things. I am to help you. They said the warrior needs the guide.  They
told me other things Angel."

    "What?"

    "They told me about your soul.  They also spoke of mine."

    "My soul?" I was puzzled.

    "Yes, it is permanent. There is no clause.  I also asked about mine. Ever
since vampire me came here, I have these nightmares. I think I have her
memories.  I think of her bloodlust, the things she did to you."

    Willow saw my eyebrow arch. She must know what I am talking about. "What
did we do?"  I can remember Evil Willow, riding me, calling me her puppy and
bringing the crop down on me, driving me deeper into her tight body.

    "Well, I toyed with you.  I tortured you and did things to you."

    "Thoughtso." I blurt out.

    "HUH?" I love her look of shock.  God, she is beautiful when she blushes.
She is even beautiful when she simply breathes. Angelus has now become
Shakespeare in our obsession with Willow.

    "I saw the way she looked at me.  I saw lust." I saw Willow's jaw drop.
Shut up now while you are ahead Angel, I told myself.   "Willow this is
getting freaky, let's get to bed." I say, before I say something really bad
that I will more than likely regret later. I watched as she slept.   I see
her toss and turn.  I reached out and held her.  Instantly she was still.  I
was just about to fall asleep when I heard the moans from the other room.   I
pulled Willow closer to me.  I missed the feeling a warm body next to my cool
one.  I had finally fallen asleep.

    I woke up early and slipped out of the bed, trying not to disturb Willow.
It was her grumble that caught my attention. "Where you going?" She mumbled.

    "I was going upstairs. You can rest here." I told her. She is so cute
when she first wakes up, with her hair wild and messy.

    "Nope, I need to get up, I just don't wanna." She said as she buried her
sleepy face back into the pillow.

    "Willow, here let me help." I said and pulled her into a standing
position.  She stumbled and fell on to me.  I lost rational thought and
deeply kissed her.  I moved my tongue into her mouth.  I did not expect her
to respond, but she did. Her tongue had cautiously entered my mouth. Her
hands were around my neck, her fingertips entwined in my hair. She was
pulling me closer to her. She moaned as my hands ran down her spine, pressing
her into me. Her moan made me instantly very hard. The demon in me screamed
to throw her on the bed, rip her clothes off and claim her. Ever since she
had recursed me, I could not stop thinking about her.  It had taken every
ounce of my willpower to not jump at the chance of sleeping in the same bed.
I wanted to kiss her resolve face off.   I was glad to hold her as she slept.
I was falling hard for her.   I felt her rub herself against me. God, she
was like fire, warming my body.

    I had picked her up and fell on the bed with her. Her kisses were so
intense. I felt her fingernails run up and down my spine. Even after the
decades, that one gesture never failed to turn me on. I know that she felt my
erection pressing against her. She even moved her leg a little so I could run
my hand gently along her inner thigh. Her skin was soft as the finest silk. I
lazily ran my fingertip over her satin panties feeling the warmth and
moisture pooling there. She was on fire. She wrapped her leg casually around
my waist. I then slid a thumb under her panties and felt her wetness. I slid
my finger into her. It was heaven.  She was so warm, so smooth.  I slid my
finger in and out of her.  She held my finger so tight in her. I could smell
her arousal, making me crazy with need to please her for hours. I felt as
though I had died and gone to heaven.

    "What time is the ceremony?" Xander bellowed from above.

    I growled as Willow's lips moved away from mine. Then she blushed. I saw
the flush creep over her skin.  I saw the desire and confusion in her eyes.
We both stared at each other speechless. I let my finger slide smoothly out
of her. I got up reluctantly. The demon in me growled as the moment slipped
away.

"Willow, I am sorry...I uh... Oh god!" I was flustered. I felt like a
schoolboy after getting caught copping a feel. I look away so that I don't
blush. I then hear her giggle.

"Its, ...um...ok Angel. I didn't know that vampires can blush." She says in a
whimsical voice.

"We don't." I tell her.

"You do." Willow said and started giggling uncontrollably.  I had to laugh
with her. I knew that Doyle and Delia would be laughing at me in heaven. We
had gotten ready quickly. I had expected to feel guilty seeing Buffy after
what happened with Willow this morning. I didn't. This scares me, I mean
after Rebecca; I was wracked with guilt.  But then again, I think it was
guilt about Angelus.

    I tried to keep focused.  I needed to talk to Willow, apologize for my
behavior.  I had no right to force my affections on her.  I don't know what I
would do if she left.  I was glad she was not upset. I felt as though I took
advantage of her. If Xander didn't stop us, I can only imagine what would
happen.  Who am I kidding, I know what would have happened, I would have
taken her and claimed her as mine.
 
 

Part 6  The Service

Willow POV

Delia's service was a small one.  Her parents had come from Sunnydale.
Her mother just sat staring into space. Well that or she was on something.
Her face looked splotchy and her eyes were glassy and mildly red.  On the
other hand, her father just looked, well bored.  I don't know why this
bothers me, but it does. By looking at them, I could see that Cordelia had
her father's eyes and her mother's thick hair. I could also see why Angel is
taking care of the arrangements and it isn't because of their lack of money
situation. I look around some more. I see some of Delia's LA friends, her
agent and an ex-boyfriend or two. I also look and see an unexpected
celebrity.  I am ready to faint as I see Rebecca Lowell in the crowd.  She is
casually dressed in black, and almost unrecognizable.   Angel notices her and
tenses up. The images flash through my mind and I instantly feel sick. I see
! Angelus taunting her, forcing blood down her throat and throwing her around.
I shake my head, trying to end the berage.   Angel squeezes my hand tighter.

Buffy is looking at me strangely. Then it dawns on me, Angel is holding,
I mean, holding my hand. I try to ignore it, but it feels so nice,
comforting.  I continue my scan again.  I do a double take as I see a bad
blast from the past.  I see that blond woman, Kate, escorting Faith to the
service.  Faith looks nice in the demure black suit.   The service has ended
thankfully. I see Kate and Faith walk up to the coffin and notice that Buffy
is in full battle mode. I silently pray to the goddess for no bloodshed.
Faith looks like she has been crying. She picks up a peach rose and places it
in the coffin. "I'm sorry, C, I wish things could have been different." Faith
says and then goes back to Kate; it is then that I get a glimpse of the
handcuffs.

I watch as Faith walks over to Angel. "Take care of Red, boss. Maybe,
when I am free, we can talk."   Faith gives Angel a strong handshake and
leaves with Kate.

"The nerve of her to show up!" Buffy grumbles.

"Faith didn't kill Delia, Buffy.  She was in jail." I say. I know Buffy
hates her, but that was just, well, uncalled for.  I watched as her parents
left.  I knew I wouldn't see them again. I see how Riley is glaring at Angel
as he and Buffy leave. I guess I could understand the tension there.  Angel
is the last to leave.  I turn in the doorway just in time to see him Delia's
forehead and speak in a language that I think is either Gaelic or Celtic.  I
can't bee sure though, Giles is the foreign language guy; I just do the
wicca/research thing. Angel gasps for breath, which is strange, because he
doesn't breathe. We then left the church and went to the burial grounds.
Angel had her placed next to Doyle.  Even though I didn't know Doyle, I knew
she would be happy with the choice.

Angel seems so lost. I worry for him. I mean this morning, we kissed, I
mean we kissed! At first I was surprised when he kissed me, but it felt so,
well right.   There that thought again. Even now, I wish to lose myself in
his arms.  I have not told the others I think the clause is gone.  There has
been too much going on and we are waiting for conformation.  Until we get it,
I will stay by Angel's side.  We haven't said much, especially about this
morning. I mean, Angel and I almost, well, did it.  I have never felt
anything like his intimate touches. I know that Anya suspects something. She
made a comment about the sleeping arrangement this morning.  It didn't help
that I blushed crimson and Angel almost spit his coffee all over the kitchen
table. Buffy giggled, Riley looked still asleep and Graham, he looked pissed.
 Not that I mind, Graham thinks that I like him and I don't. &nb! sp;Not even as a
friend.  He just bugs me.  If he weren't Riley's best friend, I might have
turned him into a playmate for Amy.

I try and help Wesley with the files and updating the demon database he
and Delia started. It keeps me occupied.  "Hey, you look like you need to get
out of this place, Willow. We are going to a club tonight, join us." Graham
says from his "post" in the corner.  At least, that's what I call it since I
feel like all he ever does is watch me from it.

"No, I'm not in club mood. Thanks anyway." I really try to be polite.  I
just want to scream go away at the top of my lungs to him.

"Are you gonna sit with the billowing coat of pain and mope?" Graham
asked. I hate him.

"No, I think I'll throw him on this desk tonight, straddle him and ride
him until sunrise." I blurt out. I know that I blush but Graham finally then
leaves me alone. I don't believe I said that out loud.  Only then do I wonder
if anyone else heard me. I look around the room and see Anya smiling at me.
Oh goddess, how am I going to live this down?

Buffy makes the group announcement about the club.  Kate shows up and
agrees to go, so do Giles and Wesley. I politely decline. I really just want
to sleep. I mean really sleep, not just lie in Angel's bed. Not that I would
mind. Nope, not at all. Ok, no more "Nasty Willow" thoughts.  Angel is in
full throttle brood mode so he debates retreating to the batcave. The
batcave?  I've never used that expression before. This is really creeping me
out.

"I need to sleep.  I don't feel so good." I say and as soon as I stand up,
my knees give out. I am glad Angel is by my side in seconds and catches me.

He carried me down to the bedroom.  I see the concern in his face. "Can I
get you something?" He asks me.

"No, thanks anyway. I'm just tired." I say.

"I am sorry about this morning, I should not have done that."  He says
looking at the ground.

"Do you regret it?"  I ask. Lie to me Angel.

"Not a second of it.  Do you feel things changing between us?" Angel
pulls me into a hug.

"Change is all I feel. But it doesn't scare me." I do feel content in his
arms.

"Are you still going to stay here?" Angel said.

"Yes, Angel.  I have a destiny to help you. You can't make me go away." I
tell him. I don't know why, but it sounded like an Angelus threat.

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" Angel asks in his Irish brogue. I
smile at him. I wonder if he knows what that Irish brogue does to me.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch, the bed is still open, if you
desire." I see his eyes flash as I say the word desire.

"I would rather sleep here in this bed, near you, than on my torture
device out there." He says using that Irish brogue.

"Angel," I say. He looks at me with those deep brown eyes. I am so
powerless to resist him. "Will you teach me Gaelic?"

"I would be honored." He says. I feel him stay with me until I fall
asleep.
 

Part 7

Giles' POV

The funeral was quiet.  I noticed the closeness between Angel and Willow.
I'm truly amazed by her strength.  She is what's holding him together.  I am
sitting now in Angel's study with Wesley, Riley and Graham.  Graham keeps
trying to talk to Willow. I wish he would get the not-so-subtle hint she is
giving him. Is this jealousy?  Quite possibly. She is NOT interested in him.
Buffy is going to train with Angel and of course Riley and Graham have to
watch.  So we all end up in another part of the building.  Willow is helping
us with some research as to her connection with Angel. I have come to see
Willow as both a daughter and a woman in this past year.  Needless to say, I
have conflicting emotions about her connection to him.

While Willow is not a slayer, she makes me feel more appreciated and
needed than my slayer does.  I wish I could change that, but I fear I may
have already lost my slayer.  Willow has been an excellent student in her
magic and some foreign language translations. She has wormed her way so far
into my life, I can't think about not having her around. Things have changed.
 She is no longer my Willow, she is a seer. No, she is Angel's seer. If she
indeed is the key to his redemption, as I fear, she won't be coming back
soon. This saddens me so much.  Partly because I know have I helped to mold
Willow into the creature she is now. Buffy and Xander have made respective
comments about the closeness between Willow and Angel. I almost choked on my
coffee when Anya said they will end up lovers, or something along those
lines. I think the expression she used was bumping uglies. I worry about that
girl.

Angel has a hard road ahead of him. While I have not completely forgiven
Angel for the things Angelus has done, I have developed a respect for him.
Part of me wonders if he loved Delia, as he called her.  I have never seen
him this upset and scared. I still can remember his voice when he told me the
news, I didn't think it was him.

Wesley and I have gotten along much better since we both no longer work
for the council. While he knew early on his destiny, he embraced it
willingly.  I had fought it for as long as possible. I am so sure that I am
viewed as a disgrace in the council.  I take pride in the fact that my slayer
has outlived all the others. Wesley calls me to the computer. We get the news
then. Angel's soul is permanent, no clause. It seems that Wesley had
explained the circumstances about the clause. I silently thank Jenny. I think
about her a lot these days, since Olivia left. I do miss them both. Oliva not
decided to peruse things after the Gentlemen came. I sort of knew when she
left.  Olivia and I had the passion, but it was the other parts of a
relationship that we lacked. She thought I told tall tales of things that
went bump in the night. When she discovered that they were true, she was
terrified.  I can understan! d why she left. I hug Wesley for some odd reason.
"Wesley, let's get some Guiness tonight? Lets us celebrate, Angelus can never
return."

We chose a small tavern near Wesley's place. I knew he had a crush on
Delia. She was a very lovely girl.  Had I been a good fifteen years younger,
I would have gone for her myself. That, however, was before I really got to
know Willow.  From that first day she came into my library, I knew she was
special. I admit to being stunned about her and Tara.  But I am okay with it
now.  I think she should explore many things, and Tara is quite enchanting
herself. Wesley and I had swapped stories of Angelus. It seems that there was
a lot more to Angel than I realized. Angel had never told me his past. Even
as Angelus, there are things he never told me. Wesley knew more about Angel
than I had. What I knew before tonight had terrified me.  What I know now
makes me want to have another drink, in celebration that he will never
return. I know if he ever were to, Willow would be his first target. We
confirmed tha! t found out that Willow and Angel are connected. They are
linked, soul to soul. I pray for her. I am anxious to return to my books as
to research this connection.
 

next