email: jenny2278@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I humbly borrow, twisting and bending plots to my will.
Pairing: W/A (sorta)
Spoilers: Up to Season 7
Summary: Just a little ficlet dripping with sap:)
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"I tried. I tried so hard, but in the end it wasn't enough. In the end, I knew, they would never trust me again. Not fully. After everything, they could never look at me without seeing that face, which they had previously been so careful to ignore."
Looking at her in shock. "Willow?"
"They forgave you, after everything. Well, maybe not Xander, `cause, well, you know…but then, I'm a far more horrible monster than you on your worst day. My atrocities? They were committed with a soul, committed by Willow. As much as I wanted to…insisted that…it was not me, that I was someone different…it was me and they knew it."
"Willow, what's wrong?" Steering her over to the couch, she doesn't fight him, but never looks at his face.
"I tried, but I couldn't stay there, knowing…I just couldn't. I had to leave." Looking up at him for the first time, he winces at the pain pulsing in her eyes. "Do you think I'm horrible? Do you fear me?"
"Fear you? Not possible."
"Then you don't know…I killed. I nearly killed…I almost…"
"Doesn't matter."
"What?"
"Almost? Doesn't matter. You didn't then, and that's what's important."
"But they can't forget what they saw. All that evil? All that…"
"Cruelty? I saw it – when we saw the vamp you, I saw your potential. They did too. They just pretended it was someone else. But it wasn't, Willow. It was you."
"They know what I really am now. A-and I loved her so much…and just when I got her back…just when things were getting better, I lost everything."
"Sometimes things come to us. Sometimes we find the right person at the right moment, and sometimes it's the worst timing ever. Sometimes they stay for eternity and sometimes they leave."
"I…I didn't even get to say good-bye. No `I love you' or `you're everything'? Nothing. The times I should be most afraid is when I'm happiest, 'cause that's when they leave."
"Sometimes…but then, I guess now you have nothing to be afraid of."
Looking around. "Where is everyone?"
"Cordelia? Wes? Lorne? Sometimes this place is so crazy and full, it's deafening. Other times, the silence is a killer. You know, I almost told Cordelia that I loved her? And I thought Buffy and I had bad timing. Sometimes this place is crawling with people…and sometimes they leave."
"Got an extra room? I'm real handy with computers, I'm big with the demony research, and I know a spell that will clean that nasty pentagram stain right off the floor."
Seeing her smile, even slightly makes him relax a little. "So, you'll stay then?"
"I-if you will…I mean…you won't go away or…"
"Sometimes they leave Willow, but sometimes…sometimes they do stay."