Pairing: W/Angelus
Rated: PG13
Summary: Just a short piece of W/Angelus nonsense I thought up spur
of the moment.
~*~*~
You were right.
When you told me all those years ago that I’d never be able to forget your touch – you couldn’t have been more right. It’s as though those words were a curse on my very soul. I long for your kiss, your caress, every night, as I lie awake in bed.
But you’re not there anymore.
You lost your mind and I had to lock you away. I couldn’t let the world go to Hell. I happen to like this world. It has books and magick, puppies and kittens. It has all those things that I love, those things that you said made me weak. But best of all, it has feelings. Lust, love, hunger, desire, anger, and joy – all of those wonderful emotions that make us what we are. I doubt Hell would have had that.
And I wouldn’t have looked so hot after some time in the heat.
I still remember that first night. You caught me on my way home from Giles’ house, on a night when the Slayer had better things to do than walk home a friend. There were so many of those nights. You scared me at first but then… Then I could see that you didn’t want to hurt me at all. I remember how it felt, to have my heart pounding in my ears. I was breathing so hard that I could barely talk. And I couldn’t believe that you didn’t want to kill me.
You let me run. How thrilling it felt to run through the streets, through the cemeteries, all the way to my very own door – where you were waiting for me. It made the conclusion that much sweeter, didn’t it? Chasing me, capturing me. I liked being hunted.
I still do.
You didn’t leave until it was almost dawn. I was too sore to go to school the next day so I called in sick. Aren’t I so bad? Buffy came over later and brought me some soup she had her mother make. It tasted bitter with you still on my lips.
I can still remember the taste of your kisses. They were like wine and I drank them up until I was intoxicated with you.
What went wrong?
Obsession.
You were obsessed with Her. Buffy. The Slayer. Couldn’t get her off your mind. All you could think about was revenge. Well, throwing the entire world to Hell wouldn’t have been the answer, Mister! Where would we have been then? In a bed of fire, that’s where. I like it hot, but not that hot!
So I did what I had to do, under the guise of friendship and wanting to help Buffy. I knew when the Soul came back you would regret everything we did – but you wouldn’t tell them. You wouldn’t dare tell Buffy that you slept with her best friend. I would restore your soul and, hopefully, the world wouldn ’t get sucked to Hell by that idiotic statue you stole. You would go back to Buffy and I would be left with only that dog-boy to keep me company again.
But that’s not how things went. The world was saved, yes, but Buffy sent you to Hell. It was *not* supposed to happen like that. I wanted to strangle her when I finally found out what happened that night. All she needed to do was feed the damn portal some of your blood. What part of that was hard for her vapid little mind? Toss a few drops of blood in, not the whole vampire!
Buffy never could think like a normal person, though.
And then your Souled self came back from Hell and he just adored Bitchy more than ever. Even when he was holding her at arms length it was obvious he cared. I found myself wishing they’d just fuck and get it over with. At least then, after that ‘happy’ moment, you’d be back in action.
But no! Soul-boy got all high and mighty and decided to ‘do what was best for Buffy’ and leave town. That meant I couldn’t even look at him and remember what it was like to be with you. I ended up sleeping with Oz and then Tara. Don’t ask me why I slept with her. I still can’t figure it out. Maybe I was hoping that she would be different enough to take my mind off of you.
She wasn’t.
But tonight everything’s going to change. I have nothing left to lose. This charade I’ve been living for the past few years is over. It’s my fault, though. I should have been more careful with the dark magick. Buffy is furious about the whole thing with Dawn. Like I would honestly put the brat in harm’s way. Okay, so maybe I would. I hate kids. But I never would have intentionally done it in a way Buffy could have traced back to me. Xander is equally furious, not because he cares about Dawn. No, he’s only mad because now he has to listen to Buffy whine and bitch about me. I don’t want to see Xander get hurt but Buffy, well she’s a different story.
The circle is cast and it’s midnight – the witching hour. Time to call on all of my powers to make this one spell come to life. “Hear me dark ones. Hear my plea. Bring to life my desire. Bring to life my wish. Let evil once again walk the earth.” I beg for what seems like hours, though the clock on my bed says its only been five minutes.
Then I feel it.
Like a popping across time and space I feel your Soul let go. The Orb of Thessulah sitting in front of me clouds up, filling with that ethereal matter. When its full to the brim, cloudy with the essence of your Soul, I throw it against the wall.
No more Soul. Not now. Not ever.
I thank the spirits that gave me the power to do this and then break the circle. The bond we share, dormant for so long, hums with activity. You’re too smart to give away what happened too quick so I know how to reach you.
“Angel Investigations…”
Stupid cheerleader. I hate the sound of her voice. “Cordy, its Willow, can I speak to Angel?”
“The King of Brood?” She’s inquisitive and her nickname for your Souled-self irritates me. “I’ll see if he’s in his office…oh wait, here he is.”
I hear you tell her to go home. Take the night off. Oh well. Guess she gets to live to see another sunrise. Pity. “Angel?” I ask, my voice the innocent one your Soul would recognize, just in case I’ve been mistaken and the spell went wrong.
“Not hardly, kitten. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
I melt. That’s the only way to describe it. “Yeah. I knew.” My voice is breathy, heated.
“Miss me, lover?”
I shudder at the sound of his voice. He knows I’ve missed him. He just likes hearing it. “Yeah, Angelus, I missed you. Come to Sunnydale and help me liven things up a bit?”
We end it after that so you can get here before dawn. I can’t wait to see Buffy’s face when her darling ‘Angel’ smashes it through a wall. I’ll convince him not to hurt Xander somehow. Anya can die a long, painful death for all I care. She whines too much and made Xander even less of a man than he already was.
Soon you will be here and all that time without you in my arms will be meaningless. We’ll paint the town red or just leave it entirely. I don’t care.
You were right, lover – I can’t get you out of my mind.
And soon, I won’t need to.
~*~End Fic~*~