Author: JR
Email addy: <JRR42@yahoo.com>
Summary: Set after the Buffy episode ‘Pangs’ but before the Angel half of the crossover. (Sorry, I don't know the name of the episode).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‘Hello, do you miss me?
I hear you say you do,
But not the way I’m missing you.
Would it mean anything,
If you knew what I’m left imagining?
Cause I’m trying to explain, something’s wrong,
You just don’t sound the same
Why don’t you go outside and --
Kiss the rain, whenever you need me
Kiss the rain, whenever I’m gone too long.
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn.
Keep in mind, we’re under the same sky,
And the night’s as empty for me as for you.
If you feel you can’t wait for morning
Kiss the rain.’
-- Billie Meyers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello.”
<hissing>
“You have a collect call from...” <pause> “Willow.” <pause> “To accept the charges, press one.”
<electronic tone>
“Thank you for using Pacific Bell.”
“Wil...”
<hissing>
“...low?!? Willow what’s wrong?!?”
“Angel?”
“Willow, what’s happening? Are you all right?”
“No! I mean, yes. I’m okay, we’re all okay. Well, Giles has another bump on his head and Buffy has a scratch on her arm -- but it’s almost healed already. Oh, and Spike looks like a piece of Swiss cheese from all the arrows. Boy, can he whine when he wants to. You should have heard him shouting when we pulled all the arrows out and stuff...”
“Wil...?”
“...and then try to play it off like he was all ‘vampire tough-guy’after it was over. But we’re all okay, except for the aching stomachs from stuffing ourselves on roasted turkey goodness. I guess wiping out Native Americans builds the appeti...”
“Willow! Hold on for a second!”
“...tite.”
<soft chuckle> “Deep breath, Willow.”
<A single breath> “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Why we don’t we try this again?” <Another soft chuckle> “Willow, is everything okay?”
“Sorry. Yes, everything is okay. And I’m sorry for calling you collect...”
“Willow...”
<silence>
“Yeah, Angel?”
“You know I don’t care if you call me collect.”
“I know, it’s just that...”
“Willow.”
“...I...uh...yeah?”
“Since nobody’s in danger...um, nobody *is* in danger, are they?”
“Nope. Well, unless you count turkey-comas as potential trouble...”
“I think you’re all fairly safe from marauding enzymes. What about Spike, though? Uh, that was Spike doing an impression of a pin cushion in Giles’ place, right?”
<giggle> “Yup. But it’s not what you think.”
“I don’t know *what* to think.”
“Has Giles told you about those soldier-guys lurking around campus?”
“He asked me if I’d ever heard of something like them before, but they’re new to me.”
“Well, Spike showed up tonight willing to exchange information for our help and Buffy grudgingly accepted.”
“That explains why he was still in one piece, then.”
“Well, Giles can explain it better than I can, so you might want to ask him. Not that I’m not willing to tell you, it’s just that he knows the whole story and I’ve only heard bits and pieces of it...”
“Willow. Willow!”
“...as opposed to...uh...yes, Angel?
“Since this is on my dime, how about we try a good old-fashioned, take-our-time conversation?”
<sheepish giggle>
“What?”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean...it’s nothing.”
“It must have been something.”
“No, really.”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s just...well...”
“Yes?
<silence>
<loud giggle> “I...it’s just...well...no offense, but...well...”
“Yes?”
“You’re not...exactly...well...”
“I’m not what?”
<laughter> “You’re just not...no, forget about it...please.”
<more laughter>
“No. You can’t throw something like that out there that makes you laugh -- about *me* no less -- and then ask me to forget it.”
<laughter> “No, it’s not even funny anymore...” <laughter>
“Oh really? Then why are you still laughing?”
<loud laughter> “Okay, okay! I just thought it was funny. You, Mr. All-Answers-In- Three-Syllables-Or-Less asking to have a conversation.” <laughter>
<quiet snort>
“See! I told you it was funny!”
“Point taken.”
<dying laughter>
<silence>
“It was really good to see you again, Angel.”
“It was good to see you, too.”
“I was hoping that you wouldn’t just...”
<silence>
“...disappear into the night?”
“Yeah.”
<silence>
<drunken shouting>
“Willow, where are you?”
“Um...actually, I’m...um...in the lobby of my dorm.”
“Oh.” <pause> “Guess that’s why you called collect.”
“Wow, you’re really getting into this detective thing, aren’t you?”
“Heeey!”
“Sarcasm. It’s not just for the other Slayerettes anymore, y’know. Besides, it’s kinda hard to talk to somebody when there’s an electronic operator in your ear every thirty seconds asking for another fifty cents.”
“True.”
“Plus I couldn’t afford to give up my entire supply of quarters.”
“Quarters?”
“Quarters.”
<silence>
“It’s a college thing. Quarters are like the holy grail of student life.”
“I don’t...” <pause> “Quarters?”
“Quarters mean clean laundry.”
“Okay.” <pause> “I still don’t...”
“Well, it costs two dollars in quarters to wash and dry a load of laundry, and since everybody here needs them, none of the shops around campus will change dollars for quarters. Even the *bank* on campus has a sign out in the window saying that they won’t do it, at least without some other kind of transaction as well, so...”
“Supply and demand.”
“Yep.”
<silence>
“That was really dumb, wasn’t it?”
“No. Not dumb, just...educational.”
<laugh> “Yeah, right. It was dumb.”
“It’s just good to hear your voice.”
<pause> “It’s good to hear yours, too.”
<long silence>
<simultaneous giggle and wry chuckle>
“Well, that was effective.”
“Hey, I’m Mr. Non-Conversation Guy, remember?”
“Oh sure, expect Babble-Girl pick up the slack.”
“Babble-Girl?”
“Uh...so you never did tell me, what’s it like working with Cordelia?”
<chuckle>
“Well, it’s interesting to say the least.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Has she gotten any better since she first started?”
“That’s right, I told you about that vampire, Russell, right?”
“Yeah. And you also said that you were just going to help her out until she got on her feet with her acting stuff.”
“Yeah, well, have you ever seen Cordelia act?”
“You mean aside from her normal I-deserve-the-world-on-a-platter routine?”
“Why don’t you tell me what you really think, Willow?”
“Sorry, I just...hey, did you just make with the funny?”
“I don’t ‘*do* funny’. I can handle sarcasm, though.”
<surprised laugh> “Oh my God! Two in a row? Careful, I wouldn’t want to see you hurt yourself or anything.”
“I’ll try to contain myself.”
<laughter> “Wow.”
“As for Cordelia, she’s...well...she tries...sometimes.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Actually, she’s surprised me a couple of times. She can have some good ideas every now and then, and she’s there when it matters. Granted, she’ll be complaining about it before, during and afterwards, but underneath it all, I think she really does care.”
<pause>
“Yeah, I guess she does. I mean, she kept helping...ah...out at the library even after she and Xander broke up.”
“How is Xander? He didn’t look so great earlier.”
“Well that Native American thing sicced the entire Infectious Diseases collection on him. Anya said he even had syphilis! But he’s better now.”
“I’m just glad that nobody was hurt.”
“I am too, but I still feel so horrible about all of it.”
“Why?”
“Well, even though he tried to kill all of us, I still think he had a valid point. After all, we came here and slaughtered his people and...”
“...that’s why you and your mom don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”
“Exactly...” <pause> “Uh...Angel? H-how did you know that?”
“Um...I...well, I...heard Buffy tell Giles when I was in his extra bedroom...uh...avoiding Buffy.”
“In his...how long were you actually here?”
<pause>
“Well, actually...three days.”
“Three days? I...”
<silence>
“Willow?”
<silence>
“Willow?
<silence>
“Wil...”
“Three days. Three days and I had to bump into you in a coffee shop? Three days and you couldn’t find enough time to let me know that you were here...”
“You didn’t just ‘bump into me’, Willow.”
“I...huh?”
“Nobody just ‘bumps into me’, Willow, not unless I allow them to.”
“Oh. That’s true...with you being a... <pause>...and all. You know, I told Giles that you needed to brush up on your stealthy-skills but...oh...*Oh!*”
<silence>
“I wanted to see you so badly, Willow. And not just walking across your campus or through your window. But every time I saw you, you were with Buffy and I couldn’t let her know I was there...”
“Oh, I understand, I guess...waitaminute... you were looking in our window?!?”
“I wasn’t trying to...well, I was, but not like that. I didn’t see anything I... shouldn’t...”
<silence>
“Angel?”
“Hmm?”
“Why didn’t you...why...I would’ve... liked...”
“You know why, Willow.”
<pause>
“I know.” <pause> “But I still don’t have to like it. I miss you, Angel. I miss talking to you. I miss taking turns calling each other like we did when you first moved.”
“I miss it, too.”
“It was so easy this summer. Even when the semester started, I used to get such a happy, rushing back to my room right after my two o’clock class on Thursday, knowing that I could talk to you uninterrupted for at least a half and hour.”
“I didn’t mean for it to stop...”
“I know.”
“But with Cordelia working here...”
“...and me moving in with Buffy...”
“...it just got...”
“...more complex.”
<sigh>
<sigh>
<silence>
“There’s been a bazillion times I just wanted to pick up the phone and call you, especially when...”
“...Oz left?”
<pause>
“How did you...?”
“Giles told me.”
“Then you know...”
“...about him leaving to find himself...and the other werewolf?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s been very worried about you, you know.”
“Oz?”
“No, Giles. So have Xander and...”
“...Buffy? <pause> They sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“What do you mean?”
“They think I don’t know, but I do. How could I miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“All of it! They way they roll their eyes when they think I’m not looking, or the fake cheerful smiles they plaster on their faces whenever I walk into the room, like they want to pretend that everything is going to be all right...that my statute of limitations on mourning is over.”
“It still hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it still hurts, dammit! I feel like I just had a part of me removed but nobody wants to have to deal with it. They all want me to get over it, to pretend like ‘oh, okay, I’m fine now’ because I’m a drag to be around. Well, I’m sorry if I interrupt Buffy’s quest for the college-life or yet another of Xander and Anya’s sexual marathons or even Giles’ ‘man-of-leisure’ lifestyle. It’s just not fair! I’ve been there for all of them when they’ve had their hearts broken and now that it’s happened to me, they’re all too busy... ”
“...to be the friends that you deserve for them to be?”
“Yes!” <pause> “It just...hurt...so much. Finding Oz...naked...with *her* after they obviously...and he didn’t even try to deny it! Or explain it! He just left! All I think about is what could I have done differently? Was it me -- because I’m not a werewolf? But he was attracted to her before he even knew, and don’t try to tell me it was some wolfie thing. She was everything I’m not -- a singer in a band, and beautiful, *and* she had that whole mysterious-sexual vibe going.”
“And you think you don’t?”
“Huh?”
“You think that you’re not beautiful? That you aren’t mysterious or sensual?”
<pause>
“I know what you’re trying to do, Angel...”
“I’m not *trying* to do anything, Willow. I’m simply stating the facts.”
“No, you’re trying to make me feel better.”
“No. I’m not telling you something to boost your ego. I’m telling you the truth because *I* need you to hear it...”
“...Angel...”
“No, Willow. I need to tell you how important you are to me. As cliched as it may be, I’ve watched you grow, Willow, from the shy schoolgirl you used to be into the beautiful person you’ve become...”
“...Angel...!”
“...so beautiful that I risked my soul to be with you just *once*.”
<silence>
“Angel...I...I don’t know...what to say...”
“Then let me say one more thing, since I seem to be on a roll here. You are the only person in this world who doesn’t *need* me or who just tolerates my presence for one reason or another. Do you know how proud it makes me feel to know that you call me your friend?”
“Probably the same way I feel when you call me yours.”
<silence>
“Next time you need to talk, call me, okay?”
“Maybe I should have, but I just thought it would be kinda...”
“Awkward?”
“...weird, talking about Oz and me...with you...”
<wry laugh> “And I’ve never asked you about Buffy?”
“Okay...so you’ve got a point. We can commiserate.”
“I mean it, Willow. Collect, at ten in the morning, because you had a lousy day -- I don’t care. Just call. And don’t worry about Cordelia, I’ll...tell her something...like a reminder that I sign her paychecks.”
<laugh>
“Promise me, Willow.”
“I will, I promise.”
<pause>
“Thank you, Angel.”
“For what? Remembering to be the kind of friend that I *should* be?”
“‘A best friend with benefits’?”
<soft laugh> “I like that.”
“It’s from a song, actually.”
“I’d like to hear it sometime.”
“Turn on the radio, then. They still play it all the time.”
“I’ll listen for it.”
“You” <yawn> “do that. Sorry about” <yawn> “that.”
“It’s four-thirty in the morning, Willow.”
“Is it really?”
“Yes.”
“I guess I should go.”
“It’s been a long day...for both of us.”
“Yep.”
<silence>
“I don’t want to hang up.”
<chuckle> “I don’t either.”
<background noise>
“Good timing, somebody’s here.”
<Angel? Is that you, man?>
“Just a second, Willow.”
<phone muffled>
<Down here, Doyle.>
<louder background noise>
<metal clanging against metal>
<So ya survived yer trip back ta yer ole’ stompin’ grounds, did ya...oh, sorry, didn’t see ya on the phone there. That wouldn’t happen ta be the fair Cordelia, would it now?>
<laugh> “‘Fair Cordelia’?”
“What can I say? He’s got a ‘thing’ for her.”
“But does she have a ‘thing’ for him?”
“Hmm. I think the jury is still out on that one, but they just might be leaning toward a ‘guilty’ verdict.”
“Tell him to run while he can!”
<wry chuckle> “That’s not nice.”
“Oh, and Cordelia is?”
“Upon occasion.”
“Well, I’d better let you go.”
“All right, but I meant what I said, *anytime*.”
<pause>
“Ditto.”
“Bye, Angel.”
“Take care.”
“I will.”
“Night.”
“Night.”
<Who was that, Angel?>
<A friend. A very good friend.>
<click>
<smile>
<click>