Parts: 11 - 15
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~Part: 11~
"Willow, are you all right?" Giles questioned, closing the door behind the two girls. Willow felt the tension in the room, and sighed. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, explaining what had happened between her, Angel and Buffy, but she knew it had to be done. In order to defeat Adam, the Scoobies, along with the group from LA, needed to be together. There could be no secrets between them.
Willow allowed her gaze to fall from Giles to Xander and saw the way he was looking over at Anya. The hurt in his eyes as he took in his girlfriend's appearance was apparent and she suddenly realized that maybe he did know about what was going on between Anya and Spike. She knew that Xander wasn't as stupid as everyone believed and had probably put two and two together and knowing he was odd man out. Her heart broke when she thought of the pain her best friend would probably go through at the knowledge that more had happened between Spike and Anya than just them sharing a few drinks.
"I'm fine, Giles." she replied. Giles looked over the two young girls, trying to confirm her statement and causing Willow to sigh again. "Really, I'm okay. I just had to get away for a few days."
"Buffy said something about you and Deadboy being together," Xander spat out, never taking his eyes off of Anya. "She accused you of stealing him from her."
"I did nothing of the sort," Willow protested. "Angel and I didn't get involved until a few months ago and it had nothing to do with Buffy. Well, at least, not the way she thinks it does. As for him getting a happy, and I know that's what you're really worried about, we don't have to worry about it anymore. His soul is permanent." Giles removed his glasses, running his fingers over his nose, trying to keep back the headache that was threatening to explode in his brain.
"Children, why don't we all have a seat and then Willow can tell us her side of the story," he suggested. "We only know what Buffy had told us and that, as we all well know, was quite prejudicial." Once everyone was seated, Xander pointedly sitting as far away from Anya as possible while still being in the same room, Willow began her explanations.
"Yes, what Buffy said was correct, Angel and I are together, in every way, but I didn't purposely go out to steal him from Buffy. I would never do that," she denied vehemently. "Buffy's my best friend and I could never hurt someone I care for like that, but I'm not going to deny my feelings for Angel either. That isn't fair for anyone."
"How did you and Angel get together?" Giles gently prodded, wanting to hear what Willow said. "When did the two of you first get involved?"
"We had kept in touch after he had gone to LA," the hacker began her explanations, the same ones she had just told Anya, with only a little more added in. The entire time she was talking, Willow kept her eyes on Giles, waiting to see his reaction. When she got to the part about Buffy and what had happened in Los Angeles with Faith, the Watcher was distraught. Buffy had told him that she had walked in on Faith in Angel's arms, but said nothing about how she had lashed out at Angel in a fit of jealousy, going so far as to hit him. Giles had suspected that Buffy still had feelings for the former vampire. It explained why she had felt the need to go to Los Angeles to warn him about Faith, instead of just calling him when she first discovered that Faith was there.
"Buffy told us they were on his bed," Xander broke in. "That Angel had his arms around Faith and he didn't have a shirt on." Willow rolled her eyes at the young man.
"He had just come out of the shower and was trying to comfort her," she told him. "There was a demon and she had killed him. The sight of blood on her hands freaked her out. Reminded her of what she was trying to forget. That was all. They weren't doing anything wrong. If Buffy had been willing to listen to Angel's explanation instead of jumping to conclusions, they would have told her the same thing. Instead, she decided to go after Faith and then Angel."
"She neglected to mention that part of the story," Giles commented, causing Willow to snort.
"I'm not surprised," she stated.
"What happened at the police station?"
"Faith turned herself in to protect Angel," the red head explained. "She didn't want Angel to take the heat for protecting her." Willow eyes meet Giles'. "He got through to her, Giles. He really did. Just like he would have last year if the Watcher's hadn't interfered. She really wants to change, Giles. And she can as long as we're all willing to give her a chance."
"There's something you're not telling us," Xander said from his seat. "Something about Faith and her second chance." Willow nodded, knowing that what she was about to say would really determine how much her friends trusted her.
"She's here. In Sunnydale."
"Wait a minute," Xander nearly shouted. "Are you telling me that you brought Faith here? The same Faith that tried to kill us all? Why the hell isn't she in jail? It's where she belongs."
"That's not true, Alexander Harris, and you know it," Willow retorted, the use of his full name allowing Xander to know just exactly how upset the hacker was with his comment. "Faith's never been given the same kind of chances that we have. She saw the Watcher's taking her away as a betrayal to her, how do you think she would react to that. Look at how we all react when we think someone's betrayed us."
"And so you're going to just forgive and forget," he exploded, surprising everyone with his anger. "Just let go of the fact that she betrayed our trust. That she switched bodies with Buffy and then slept with Riley. That she nearly killed Angel and me. Gee, I'm sorry, Wills, I'm just not the forgive and forget kind of person. I've been hurt way too many times now, and I'm not sure I can handle dealing with the fact that almost every person I've ever cared about decided that I was expendable until they needed something from me. Maybe I'm tired of all the games." Xander said this last part looking directly at Anya, who visibly flinched under the intense pain that was in the brown eyes that usually, looked at her with love.
"Xander," Willow began, hoping to calm him down and knowing that it was probably a futile effort. He was right. Too many people used and then discarded him. Xander trusted so easily and, on too many occasions, that trust would be proven misplaced. She watched, helpless, as he turned his emotions into himself, his eyes going dead.
"I'm sorry, Wills, but I can't do this anymore." With a final look over at Anya, he made his way towards the door. "Any of it."
"Xander," Anya got up and went towards her boyfriends, wanting to help him but not sure how to. She touched his arm and jumped back when he turned to face her, hatred in his eyes and then nothing. "Xander?"
"Don't you touch me," he hissed. "Don't you dare touch me. You have no right to do that. You gave it up when you decided to go to LA with the fangless wonder."
"We had to go," she pleaded, wanting him to understand and afraid that she had truly screwed up the one relationship that meant the most to the now mortal girl. "Willow needed her things and Spike was the only one with a car."
"You couldn't have waited for me? You know I would have driven you there, but you just took off. Not even a note telling me where you were. If Buffy hadn't said that you and Spike had come to pack up Willow's things from the dorm, I wouldn't have even known about it. And then you were gone a week," Xander's voice increased in volume with every sentence spoken. Had grown more sarcastic. "What were you doing, Anya? Just having a few drinks and commiserating over your lost powers? Damn you. I trusted you. I believed you when you said that you wanted to work things out. That you wanted to give our relationship a second chance and what do I get as a payment. You screwing your brains out with the first demon that pays you attention. You're no better than Faith. Only she tried to kill me physically while you preferred emotionally. Well congratulations, Anya. You've done it. You finally got your revenge on me for daring to pay attention to someone other than you. I won't do that again."
"What do you mean?" Tears were streaming down Anya's face at the words coming from Xander's mouth. "You told me you loved me."
"I do and that was my first mistake," he answered, his voice having an eerie calmness to it. "My second was to actually allow myself to believe I was worth anyone's love in return." With those final words, Xander turned and fled into the night, leaving behind a stunned Watcher, a worried witch and a crying former demon.
~Part: 12~
“Xander,” Anya cried out as she watched the door shut behind her boyfriend. She made to follow him so that she could explain about her relationship to Spike. As a vengeance demon, she had only seen the hurt that men had caused women, the same dead look in their eyes matching the one in Xander’s. Her pursuit was stopped when she felt Willow’s hand on her arm.
“Give him time, Anya,” she quietly told the girl.
“Willow, he shouldn’t be alone. I’ve seen that look in his face before on countless women as they called me,” she explained. “What if he does something. You know him. Xander’s a trouble magnet.”
“Then I’ll go after him,” the red head volunteered. When Anya went to protest, Willow shushed her again. “Anya, Xander’s my best friend. We’ve known each other forever. We’ve been through everything together. If anyone can get through to him, it would be me.”
“She’s right, Anya,” Giles finally spoke, coming over to join the two girls. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, or where Spike comes into it, but what I do know is that Xander is feeling as if everyone that has ever said they cared about him has betrayed his trust. The only one that stands a chance of getting through to him is Willow. He trusts her. He’ll listen to her.”
“But I love him,” Anya cried again, collapsing in Giles’ surprised arms.
The former demon had never said that about Xander, and no one was really sure of how she felt about the teen. Hearing the anguish in her voice at what had happened with Xander made Giles realize that they hadn’t given Anya enough credit for her emotions. He held her while she weeped, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her over towards the couch, Willow following closely behind.
“I know you do,” he comforted. “And, once Xander gets past his anger, he’ll know it too.” Giles looked over Anya’s head, his eyes meeting Willow’s emerald ones and showing that he wasn’t sure how much he believed his own statement. He had never seen the anguish in Xander’s eyes before. Never heard the anger in the voice that was usually cracking jokes. Xander had always been the one to just seemingly let everything roll off his back, but the former Watcher wasn’t sure if that would happen this time. Maybe this was the straw that would finally break the proverbial camel’s back. Time passed slowly for Giles and Willow, who continued to sit on the couch, trying to offer whatever comfort they could to the heartbroken girl.
Eventually, Anya’s sobs quieted as she fell into a restless sleep. Giles lay her down onto the couch, motioning for Willow to follow him towards the door. The two people went outside, for privacy but leaving the front door partially opened so that they would be able to hear Anya if she stirred.
“Willow, what was all that about Anya and Spike?” Giles questioned, noticing the way that the red head wasn’t meeting his eyes. “Willow?”
“Remember when Anya and Xander had gotten into that fight a little while ago because she thought he was cheating on her?” At Giles nod, she continued. “Well, it seems that she decided that what was good for Xander was good for her.”
“But it was my impression that Xander had done nothing than flirt a little after Anya had showed up at that party with Spike.”
“That’s because that was all he did,” Willow defended her friend. “And I think he did it because he was hurt because Anya came with Spike instead of him.”
“And Anya being with Spike?” Willow shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know. I mean, up until an hour ago, I thought they had only kissed and stuff. I mean, Anya made no secret to me that she still loved Xander, that’s why she stayed with him. And I was sure that Spike was still hurt because of that whole Dru thing. But Anya just told me that she was with Spike because he gave her, and I quote, good orgasms.” Giles groaned at the oft-used phrase.
“And now Xander knows about them being together,” the Watcher groaned. “No wonder he was so angry.”
“And now you see why I need to go after him,” Willow nearly pleaded. “I don’t even want to think of what he might do in the mood he’s in.”
“Go, Willow,” Giles ordered. “I’ll take care of Anya.” Willow smiled and placed a kiss on a surprised Giles’ cheek.
“Thanks, Giles.” Willow turned and fled into the night, hoping to catch up with Xander. Giles watched until she was out of sight and then turned to go back into his house, wondering how much more his charges would be forced to deal with.
~~~*~~~
Willow cautiously approached Xander’s house, unsure of the reception that would be waiting there. She saw the door to Xander’s car open, boxes and bags stuffed into the back seat and took a deep breath. She had been afraid that this would be his reaction. Xander didn’t have a whole lot to hold him in Sunnydale, and now with Anya’s betrayal and Willow moving in with Angel, his last two reasons for staying were now gone.
“Xander?” The red head called out as she went to the open back door.
“Go away,” Xander ordered as Willow entered his basement apartment. He turned to see Willow standing there and frowned.
“Xander,” she was quietly pleading. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?” He asked. “What a joke my life is? Or maybe how about, why is it that everytime I trust someone with my heart, I just get trampled on? Just go home, Willow. Go back to Angel and get on with your life. You don’t have to worry about me. No one else will. Obviously not the girl that I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. She’ll be too busy with her own member of the undead.”
“She loves you, Xander.” Xander huffed in disbelief at Willow’s simple statement.
“If she loved me so damn much, she wouldn’t be screwing around with fangless, would she? Forget it Wills, I know the score and I’m cool with it. Just let me leave with some of my dignity intact. That’s all I’m asking here.”
“I can’t,” she cried. Willow hated seeing the pain in Xander’s eyes, knowing that the reason behind it was the belief that he was unlovable. “I love you. Anya loves you.” Again, Xander snorted. “She does. She told me that she wanted to try and make things work again with you just before we got to Giles’.” Xander latched onto something that Willow said in that sentence, not wanting to believe the implications.
“Oh Gods, Willow. You knew, didn’t you?” Xander said, stunned and more hurt than he had ever felt gripped his heart. “You knew she was with Spike and you never told me? Damn it, I thought you were the one person I could trust above anyone else and even you betrayed me.” Xander shoved the last of his possessions into his bag and made his way out of the room. Willow made to block his way. “Get out of the way, Willow. Go back to Deadboy and just forget about me. Apparently, it shouldn’t be that difficult to do.”
“I’m not moving until you listen to what I have to say,” she informed him, putting on her strongest resolve face.
“Whatever,” he waved his hand while putting the bag down. “Just say whatever it is you want to say so I can get the hell out of this god forsaken town.” Willow took a deep breath, hoping that Xander would be willing to listen to what she had to say.
“Okay, yes, I’ll admit it, I did know about Anya and Spike.” Xander made to push Willow aside, but she refused to move. “Will you just wait a minute, Xander.”
“Why? So you can tell me what a fool I’ve been?”
“No. Give me a chance. Yes I knew about Anya and I would have told you but then the whole thing with Faith happened and I didn’t get a chance to do it. Then I went to LA and things just got out of control. I never had an opportunity to tell you about it. And I didn’t know how into their relationship they were. As far as I knew, all they ever did was kiss.”
“Anya never just kisses,” Xander stated flatly, his voice drained of all emotions. Willow looked at him sadly.
“I didn’t know that, Xander. Anya told me that she was in love with you but that she had been hurt when she had seen you flirting with that other girl. I thought that if the two of you were given time, that you would be able to work things out. I didn’t want to hurt you. I would never do something like that.”
“Yeah well you did, so if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to go.”
“Xander.”
“Good bye, Wills.” Xander picked up his last bag and Willow reluctantly moved aside to let him pass. He stopped and looked down at the crying girl. Xander placed a gentle kiss on her tear stained cheek, “Be happy, Wills. Be happy with Angel, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. You deserve to be happy. At least one of us does.”
“Xander, you deserve to be happy too.”
“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t. I’ve always suspected it, but this just confirmed my suspicions.” Xander ran a hand down the red head’s cheek.
“You’ll always be my best friend. You’ll always be my family.” Xander continued out of the home but Willow couldn’t follow him. Tears streamed down the red head’s face as she listened to Xander’s car start and then pull away, scared that she had just lost her best friend and wondering if she would ever see him again.
~Part: 13~
Willow made her way home, tears still streaming down her face. She had spent the better part of the night wandering around Sunnydale, knowing that it wasn't exactly the smartest thing she could have done but not caring. The only thoughts going through her mind were aimed at the young man that had been her friend for almost her entire life, certainly as far back as she could remember. The petite red head replayed memories of all the time she had spent with Xander, both good and bad, and realized that she had spent more time with him than with her own family. And now, he was gone. Possibly for good, because he had been betrayed one too many times. She cursed all of the people that had hurt Xander, knowing that she was included in that list. Willow knew that, no matter what happened, she would never be able to forget the dead expression that had been in Dander's eyes when he left and she prayed to her Goddess that he would be okay and happy wherever he ended up.
"Gods, Xander, please take care of yourself," she pleaded to no one in the cold morning air. Willow pulled out the keys that would unlock her door, knowing that she would probably be in for a lecture from Angel about the dangers of being out alone in Sunnydale at night, but she couldn't find herself caring. Willow finally managed to open the front door, only to find herself engulfed by a pair of strong arms as soon as she shut it behind her.
"Where have you been?" Angel asked, holding Willow close to him. The souled vampire was glad that the red head was okay, although he hadn't missed the tracks from where her tears had fallen. Giles had brought Anya home a few hours before, telling the people staying at the Rosenberg home what had transpired between Xander and Anya, so Angel had a good idea of why Willow was crying. It didn't appear as if her talk with Xander had done any good.
"I'm sorry," Willow mumbled, wrapping her arms around Angel's waist, taking the comfort that he was so willingly offering. "I just needed some time by myself. I didn't mean to worry you."
"I know you didn't, kitten." Angel kissed the top of Willow's head and he felt her arms tighten around him. "Giles brought Anya home and told us what had happened."
"He's gone, Angel."
"What do you mean, gone?"
"I mean, Xander's packed up everything and left Sunnydale. For good," Willow emphasized, finally pulling back from him a bit. Angel cupped Willow's cheek with one of his hands, brushing away some of the tears that were still falling. Angel hated seeing his mate in so much pain, and normally would have gladly hurt the one that had caused it, but not this time. From what they had been told by the Watcher, and what little they had been able to drag out of Anya, Xander was in even more pain than Willow.
"I take it you couldn't talk him out of it." Willow shook her head slowly.
"I couldn't do anything but stand there. You should have seen his face, Angel. His eyes. There was no life there anymore. It was like everything that made him Xander was gone and only this empty shell was left. I never thought I would see that look on someone, let alone him. And knowing I helped put it there." Angel didn't let Willow finish her sentence, instead pulling her closer to him again. They stayed that way, locked in an embrace in the front hallway, until they heard a throat being cleared. Angel looked up, only to find two worried, and one slightly concerned, face watching them. Angel turned Willow around so that she could see her friend's also, knowing how worried they had been about the small red head, even though Spike refused to admit it.
"Ummmm, I guess you're wondering what happened, huh? Willow said meekly, as she stared at her friends.
"Well, if the tears that are currently making their way down your face are any indication, I'd take it, it wasn't of the good," Cordelia answered, earning herself a small smile from the red head. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really, but I don't think I really have any choice in the matter. You all deserve to know what happened."
"Does that include me, Pet?" Spike asked. Willow looked over at the blonde vampire and was surprised to see how concerned he truly was, and she didn't think it was all for her. She knew that she should blame Spike for what happened with Xander, considering it was the vampire's relationship with Anya that had caused the final tear in Xander's fragile psyche, but at that moment, she couldn't do it.
"Yes, Spike, you included." The five people made their way into the living room. "Where are the others?"
"Well, Tara and Graham are back at the campus," Angel explained, as he sat down on one of the chairs, pulling Willow into his lap. "Apparently something major is going on with the Initiative and Graham has been ordered to stay close to the dorms. Wesley went back to Giles', hoping to find something useful to help with the whole Adam thing."
"And Anya?"
"Upstairs, locked in the bedroom," Spike growled. "She's been up there ever since the Watcher brought her home. Won't let anyone talk to her."
Willow nodded. She remembered how upset the blonde ex-demon had been when she had left Giles' and she knew the news that Xander had decided to leave town would only make things worse.
"So what happened with Xander?" Cordelia asked again, impatiently. "Did we hear you right when you said he left town?"
"Yeah you did," Willow sighed. At everyone's expectant look, Willow explained what had occurred at both Giles' and Xander's, going into greater detail than the Watcher had. Spike flinched when Willow told them that Xander had already figured out that Anya had more than just a drinking buddy friendship with the blonde vampire, remembering well the feeling of being betrayed by someone you loved. When Willow describe the dead look in Xander's eyes, Cordelia paled.
"Oh God. Poor Xander," she cried, cursing herself for all the times she had insulted the boy that had once held her heart.
"Damn that bitch," Faith swore, her voice the complete opposite of Willow's and Cordelia's. Willow stared, openmouthed, at the angry Slayer, seeing the woman that had tried to kill them all for a moment, before Faith got her emotions back under control.
"Who?" Willow asked.
"Anya, of course," Faith replied. "Think about it. If she had only been able to keep her damn legs shut, then none of this would have happened and Xander would still be here."
"I didn't want him to leave," a quiet voice said from the doorway.
Everyone turned to see Anya standing there, her make up smeared from her own tears. "I never wanted this to happen. I love Xander. He gave me a chance when everyone else wanted to just write me off. Hurting him was the last thing that was on my mind."
"And yet you had no problem hitting the sheets with Blondie, did you?" Cordelia questioned, her own anger finding an outlet. "Sure, that's one way of showing someone how much you love them."
"He was flirting with that other girl," Anya cried out.
"So that meant that it was open season on Xander," Faith retorted. "Damn, for a former vengeance demon, you sure don't know jack about relationships and betrayal do you?"
"What do you mean?" Faith stood up and walked over to Anya, who was doing her best to hold her own against the irate Slayer.
"Okay, let me spell it out for you. You," Faith pointed to Anya, "were called forth by women that had been harmed by a man. I'll be willing to bet that the majority of those women were cheated on. Would I be correct?"
Anya nodded her head, not looking up at Faith, unable to meet her eyes.
"And this didn't make you think that you sleeping with Spike would hurt Xander? Now, I wasn't at this party where he was supposedly flirting with this other chick, but from what I've heard, you didn't show up alone to the place. You came with Spike." Anya nodded her head again. "Now, it might have been a long time since I've been close to him, if I ever was, but I'm willing to guess that Xander wasn't too happy with that."
"You could say that again," Willow said, understanding where Faith was going with her line of thinking and not finding fault with any of it. While Willow was usually the one that tried to see a situation from everyone's point of view, she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to do that this time. Not anymore. "Tara and I were in the room next to them and could hear the yelling, even over all of the music."
"Okay, so Xander wasn't happy with the fact that you were spending time with Spike, and that included showing up to the party with him instead of Xander. And you're surprised that he was flirting with someone else? He was only doing what you were." Tears fell from Anya's eyes again.
"But Spike and I hadn't done anything other than talk," she protested. Faith and Cordelia arched their eyebrows, and Willow would have laughed at the image except the situation didn't warrant it. "Things just progressed from there. Xander was angry and me and I was mad at him and Spike was there when I needed someone. It didn't mean anything. It was just that he gave me good orgasms and Xander wasn't."
All eyes turned to Spike, who squirmed under the sudden attention. He could see the questions in everyone's eyes and the disappointment in Angel and Willow's. Those were the two that hurt him the most. Willow had been the one member of the scooby gang that had taken the time to help the chipped vampire and that had led to the reunion he had with his sire.
"Spike?" Angel questioned, knowing that he didn't need to finish the statement.
"I'm not going to make any excuses for what happened," he answered firmly, although he wasn't able to look into Willow's eyes. "I can't anyway."
"But?" Angel encouraged.
"But, I will say that as far as I knew, the whelp had broken up with Anya," he continued. "At least, that's what she told me. I didn't see the harm in having a bit of fun with someone who understood what I was going through at that time. Especially since there wouldn't be anyone getting hurt by it."
"Are you saying that Anya told you that she and Xander had broken up?" Willow repeated.
"That's what she told me. Said he had found some other bird to play with." Willow turned to the former demon.
"You told me that you and Xander were only have some trouble in your relationship," she added. "And Xander was acting as if things were fine between the two of you until you went to LA with Spike. Which story was the truth Anya? How were things between you and Xander?" Anya looked around the room, at the suddenly hostile faces that belonged to her friends and began to fidget. Where once she had found acceptance, she was now dealing with hostility and she didn't know what to do about it.
"I guess...well, its like this...Maybe I was exaggerating just a bit when I said that Xander and I weren't together," she muttered, barely loud enough to be heard by the people in the living room.
"Exaggerating?" Spike repeated. "By how much were you exaggerating?"
"As far as Xander was concerned, things were fine between us," Anya answered.
"Then why did you get involved with Spike?" Cordelia asked. Anya shrugged her shoulders.
"He made me feel good," she said, unrepentantly. "As much as Xander cared for me and did for me, he didn't give me everything that I wanted. Spike did. I knew that he didn't care for me the same way as Xander did, he was still too hung up on Drusilla, but it didn't matter. I told him that Xander had broken up with me because he wanted to be with someone else because I knew that he would feel sorry for me."
"You bitch," Spike hissed, standing and pacing the living room. "You used how I felt about the way Drusilla treated me against me. Damn and I thought I had grown immune to head games from all my time with Angelus and Darla. Guess I still had a few things to learn."
"Oh, come on, Spike. Don't be like that. It's not like you didn't have fun."
"At what expense, though," the blonde vampire growled. Thunder broke over the house and the sound of pouring rain could be heard from outside. The storm that had come seemed to rival the emotions of the people inside the house. Spike grabbed his duster and walked towards the front door.
"Spike, where are you going?" Willow asked, going over to her mate's childe. "Please don't leave. It's not your fault. I know that."
"I can't stay here, Red." Spike cupped Willow's cheek with his hand. "You say that it isn't my fault, but I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. In all of your eyes. There is blame there."
"Where will you go?" Angel questioned, joining his childe and Willow. Fresh tears fell from Willow's eyes.
"I don't know. Probably head over to my crypt. Maybe just get out of town. Don't worry about me, Peaches. I'll manage."
"I know you will, Spike. Of that I have no doubt. Just promise me you'll be careful."
"Hey you know me."
"I know, so just promise me." Spike grinned, cheekily, at his sire.
"I promise, Dad." Angel smacked Spike's head, then grabbed him in a hug. When they pulled apart, Willow gave Spike one of her own special hugs and then the blonde was gone.
"First Xander and then Spike," Willow cried out as Angel wrapped his arms around her. "How many more are we going to have to lose before this is all over?"
"I don't know, kitten. I just don't know."
~Part: 14~
"Willow, sweetling, what are you still doing awake?" Angel asked the red headed witch that held his heart, when he saw her resting against the headboard of the bed they were sharing. Their room was the one that had once belonged to Willow's parents, which they had taken over once her parents had given Willow the house. "After everything that's happened, aren't you tired?"
"Yeah, I ma, but every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the way Xander and Spike looked when they left," she answered. Angel came over to the bed, sitting beside her. He opened his arms and Willow moved into them, allowing Angel to comfort her once more. "Gods, why is this happening? What have we done that makes this our payment?"
"We haven't done anything," Angel told her. "What happened with Anya had nothing to do with you. That was all Anya's responsibility. She's the one that lied to Spike. She's the one that cheated on Xander. If anyone's to blame for the two of them leaving, it's her." Willow nodded her head against Angel's chest, knowing the truth of his statement. "And the fact that Anya is acting like she doesn't understand what she did wrong isn't helping matters any, is it?"
"No." Willow thought back to right after Spike had left. All eyes had turned to Anya, who only stood in the hallway, tears running down her face. The blonde denied that she had done anything wrong, and then tried to excuse her actions by saying that she didn't understand human relationship because she was still learning about her new mortality. It had taken both Angel and Cordelia to hold Faith back when Anya said that, although Willow had been able to tell that both the vampire and Seer would have been more than happy to let the Slayer go. "I'm scared, Angel."
"Scared about what, sweetling?"
"About what's going to happen. I mean, this thing with Adam, we still haven't found a way to defeat him. Now we're short two people because Xander and Spike are gone. I'm scared something's gonna happen to them. And there's still Buffy to deal with. We have to watch out in case she's decides to do something, which I'm sure she will. How can we hope to accomplish anything when all that's happening is that we're being torn further and further apart?"
"Things will be fine, Willow," Angel tried to reassure his mate. "Giles and Wesley are searching for a way to defeat Adam and, along with Graham, I'm sure they'll find something. Spike is too damn ornery to let anything happen to him. Nobody would even dare mess with him. Xander is too smart to get into trouble that he can't get out of. As for Buffy, we'll deal with her when we have to, but she's not exactly someone I want to be thinking about."
"I wish I could be as sure about things like you are," Willow sighed. "You didn't see Xander like I did. You didn't see the look in his eyes. They were so dead. I'm afraid that if something did happen to him, he wouldn't do anything to help himself get out of it."
"Willow, you have to have faith that Xander will be okay," Angel said. He silenced her before she could protest again. "I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, or that it will happen overnight, because I know better than to lie to you." Willow grinned, weakly, at Angel's attempt to make her feel better. "But, he will be okay and when he is, he will let you know."
"He thinks I betrayed him because I didn't tell him what I knew about Anya and Spike. What makes you so sure that he'll contact me?"
"You're his best friend, no matter what," he answered simply. "The two of you have been through too much to let this get between the you for good. Sure, it might be a little strained between you but it will get better. Hell, just look at Spike and me and the way we are together. Nothing that's happened between you and Xander is even close to what I did to Spike."
"True," Willow said, her smile growing a little wider at Angel's words. Finally, she shrugged. "I guess you're right. It'll just take some time for things to get back to even some semblance of normal."
"Well, now, I never said anything about things being normal." Angel laughed as Willow hit him with a pillow. He was glad to see his witch with a smile on her face, knowing that it might be one of the last times he would see in the next few days. Willow was right, things were going to be extremely difficult and Xander and Spike's leaving did not bode well for their chances of success.
~~~*~~~
Spike wandered around Sunnydale, grateful for the thunderstorm that had taken over the day which meant he didn't have to fear being turned into dust. The blonde vampire had spent the day walking around the town that had become his reluctant home, not knowing where or what he was going to do. His mind kept replaying the scene back at Willow's house. The knowledge that Anya had lied to him used his feelings for Drusilla against him, had hurt him in a way he hadn't expected. Sure, he loved to torture the humans that he came in contact with, but it was more on the physical side. He left the emotional damage to Angelus.
Spike knew that his relationship with Anya was just friendship, with a little sex thrown in. Hell, the friendship was even questionable, as it was based more on the fact that they had begun it while commiserating over drinks while mourning the loss of their nastiness as demons. It had just been two former bad ass demons, who made other demons fear them by name alone, who were no longer any type of threat to man.
Spike looked up at his surroundings, surprised to find himself in a park not to far from the boundaries that separated Sunnydale from the neighboring town. He hadn't been aware of where he was heading, only knowing that he needed to think. Think about what he wanted to do about his relationship with Anya, if there even was one now. Oh, there was no doubt in his mind that the former demon would probably wish to continue their affair, but Spike wasn't sure it was what he wanted.
Spike had been where Xander was now. First when Angelus had come back, taking Spike's place in Drusilla's heart and bed. And then again, in Brazil, when Dru left him for that Chaos Demon. He knew what it felt like to have the woman you loved, the woman whom who wanted to spend the rest of your life, or unlife, with, betrayed you. He hated knowing that Anya's lies had put him in the position of having caused that kind of hurt in some one else. No one deserved the kind of pain that Xander was most likely going through, at least, according to Willow.
"Damn her," the blonde vampire cursed. "Damn her and her stupid games. How could I have been so stupid as to fall for them? After all the things that I to deal with when Angelus was around and I couldn't tell when some little girl was lying to me. How can Red even want to be in the same room as me? Because of what I had done, her best friend was out there somewhere, thinking he didn't deserve love. It's that damnable ex-demon that is the one that doesn't deserve love. She hasn't a clue as to what to do with it. The whelp was too good for her."
Spike would have continued to berate himself, but something off to the side of the road caught his attention. He walked over to the car, which stood open, boxes and bags packed into it. Spike looked around, trying to see if the owner was anywhere near, but he was alone. He sniffed the air and, under the smell of the fresh rain, could pick up the scent of three vampires, one of which had been one of his minions from when he had first come to Sunnydale. He also smelt blood, but not enough, and the lack of a body made him believe that the vampires in question had taken their victim somewhere else. Spike took off in the direction that the scents were leading him, hoping that whatever was going to happen, he would be able to stop. He didn't want to tell Willow that her best friend was dead.
~Part: 15~
"Oz, what are you doing here?" Cordelia asked, as the multi colored haired musician made his way into Willow's home.
"I was wondering if I could talk to Willow," he told the former cheerleader, hiding his surprise at the sight of Faith behind her. Buffy hadn't told him that the other Slayer was in town and staying at the Rosenberg home. Maybe she didn't know that she was in town. Oz filed that information for later.
"Red's sleeping right now," Faith informed him.
"It's two in the afternoon. Willow had never been a late sleeper," he countered. He looked at the two girls suspiciously, noting the grins that they were wearing and not liking the idea he was getting of just exactly why Willow was still asleep.
"It's been a long night," Cordelia told him. "She didn't even go to bed until after ten and, before you even ask, no I will not go wake her up. Willow's had to deal with a lot of things in the past few days and she needs her rest."
"I just want to talk to her, that's all." Oz made a move to go upstairs. He was stopped by Faith, who stepped in his path.
"Not so fast, wolf boy," she told him, her hand on his chest, preventing him from going any further. "Where do you think you're going?" Oz sighed, not surprised at the protectiveness the two women had towards Willow. There was something about the hacker cum witch that brought it out in others.
"I just want to talk to Willow," he patiently said, once more. "That's all. I just heard some things about what was going on with her and I just want to make sure she's okay. I just thought we could get some closure in our relationship."
"Closure?" Cordelia raised her eyebrow, coming alongside Faith to stand in Oz's way. "Is that what they're calling it nowadays?" Oz looked at Cordelia, dropping his eyes after a few seconds. There was an accusation in the former cheerleader's eyes that he wasn't sure if he was able to deny, if he was honest with himself.
"What do you mean by that?" Cordelia drew herself up to her full height, not backing down from the indignation in Oz's voice.
"What I mean it, that I'm willing to bet that you got a visit from one pissed off blonde Slayer who told you about Willow being with someone else and that you didn't much like it." When Oz didn't deny what she said, Cordelia continued. "So, just out of curiosity, what did little Miss Cry Buffy tell you?"
"She told me that Willow was here and that she and Angel were together," the werewolf replied. "She also told me that Angel's soul was permanent."
"And, let me guess, you decided you just had to come over here and check it out, right?" Faith asked, sarcastically. "It didn't bother you in the least the Willow had found happiness with another man."
"I'm not going to lie and say that I'm happy that the two of them are together," Oz told them both, knowing better than to lie to them. "But I meant it when I told Willow before that I only wanted her to be happy. I had come back hoping that it would be with me, but if that wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be."
"That's all I've ever wanted for you too, Oz," a voice answered from the top of the stairs. Cordelia, Faith and Oz turned to look at the small red head that was standing there, wondering how long she had been there. A smile graced the musician's face at the sight before him, at the same time his gut seized in upon itself at the thought that he had no hold upon her anymore. "Hello, Oz."
"Hi." Willow came down that stairs and stopped in front of Oz. Cordelia and Faith stood by her side.
"Figured you'd still be asleep," Cordelia told Willow, making sure to keep herself between the hacker and the werewolf.
"Yeah, well, I couldn't really relax, no matter what I tried," she replied. "Figured I might as well come down and get some tea. Thought maybe that would help me." Willow turned her attention back to Oz. "What did you want to see me about?"
"Buffy told me something and I just wanted to come by and check it out." When Willow remained silent, he continued. "I heard about you and Angel. I heard that his soul was here to stay."
"You heard correctly," Willow told him, as Cordelia and Faith moved away from her and towards the living room, making sure that they would be close by in case they were needed.
"When? How?"
"It's a long story," Willow replied.
"What about Tara?" The red head sighed.
"Oz, there was never anything between Tara and I," she explained. "We're just friends. That's all we've ever been. Buffy and you and the others just saw more into our relationship than there actually was." The former couple went quiet, unsure of what to say to each other.
"Are you happy?"
"Very," Willow smiled. "Angel takes me for who I am. He doesn't make demands of me to do something I might not like to do. He trusts me and loves me. He's not only my lover but my best friend." Oz nodded, accepting what his ex was telling him. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"That's all I've ever wanted for you," he told her before turning to leave.
"Oz?" The musician turned to face her once more.
"Be happy, Willow. And tell Angel that if he even thinks of hurting you, I'll dust him myself." And with that said, Oz left.
~~~*~~~
"Bloody hell, now what has the whelp gotten himself into?" Spike cursed under his breath. The blonde vampire had spent the past two hours following the trail that the other vampires had left, hoping that it would take him to where they were holding Xander. He knew the teenager was still alive because his scent went along with the demons.
Eventually Spike found himself outside of a warehouse on the outskirts of town, opposite from the University. He stretched out his senses, trying to determine how many were there and was surprised by the sheer number that he could detect. He was surprised when he senses, not only the three original vampires, but about another dozen, along with quite a few demons of various species. Spike silently made his way over to a stack of crates that were under a window, climbing them to try and see what was going on inside. Spike peered inside, his vampiric sight allowing him to make out what was happening even through the darkness. The inside was lit by candles and makeshift torches that lined the walls. Vampires and demons wandered around the warehouse and Spike was surprised to see the variety that was represented, including some that were not known for been all that open to associating with others not of their race. Even through their wandering, Spike was able to tell that they seemed to be circling a figure that was huddled in the center of the building.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Spike heard a voice sneer, coming from the darkness. Spike gasped when Adam appeared, walking over to the prisoner. "If it isn't one of the Slayer's little friends." Adam grabbed the man by his hair, pulling him so that he would be forced to look at the manmade demon.
"Damn it," Spike swore, as Xander's bruised face came into view. It was obvious to the blonde vampire that the teen had been beaten, repeatedly. He waited for the usual stream of defiant insults that Xander had a habit of throwing out at anyone stupid enough to kidnap him, and wasn't prepared when nothing came out. It appeared to Spike that, instead of trying to get free of his bonds, Xander simply accepted them. Instead of his eyes being full of the fire that the blonde was so used to seeing there, there was a look of acceptance. A look that said that not only was Xander prepared to die, but that he was looking forward to it.
"Why?" Xander questioned, barely loud enough for the vampire outside to hear him.
"Why?" Adam sneered. "Why do you think? It's simple, really. Bait. I need it and you're going to be it. Your disappearance will be just what I need to throw the Slayer and her little friends off their game plan and keep them out of my way until I'm ready for them." Xander's eyes looked dead and Spike felt something in his chest ache at the lack of emotions that were there.
"They won't care." Adam looked at Xander, perplexed by the boy's statement.
"I think they will. I've noticed something about your group, and the way they interact. You're loyalty keeps you together. They'll do anything for anyone they care for."
"They don't care for me," Xander stated, almost matter of factly. "I'm just a nobody who thought he was good enough to hang out with them. They'll probably thank you for taking me." Adam grabbed Xander by the hair, pulling his head back roughly. Xander didn't react to the pain he had to be feeling which caused the demon to be even angrier.
"For your sake, you better hope your wrong."
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A cocky, accented voice asked, loudly. "It appears to be a collection of the Slayer's most wanted and here I am, not invited. I'm hurt." Adam turned at the newcomer; startled to see the blonde vampire that he knew was a reluctant associate of the man he was currently holding prisoner.
"What are you doing here?"
"I heard you were planning a little get together for the Slayer and her friends and I wanted to know how I could get in on the action," Spike replied, lighting a cigarette. A vampire went to attack Spike, who non-chalantly staked the being, turning him into dust.
"Last I had heard, you were helping the girl," Adam reminded Spike.
"Needed a way of getting money and blood some way, didn't I?" Spike pointed out. "Besides, who better to get you close to the Slayer and tell you what she and her little friends have planned." Spike stopped in front of Adam, not even glancing down at Xander.
"And why should I trust you?"
"Because I'm your best bet to get to the Slayer and her groupies," Spike growled, nodding his head towards Spike. "This one is worthless alone. He already told them he was leaving so they won't even think about looking for him. Right now, there's nothing he can do for you."
"Then we'll just have to kill him." Adam looked at two demons that were standing around the circle. "Take him to the pit."
"No," Spike replied, harshly. When he had Adam's attention again, the vampire went on. "I said, couldn't do anything now. But, in the future, he will be of use to you. Think about it. I can give you the information about the Slayer's activities and then, if they figure out their being set up, you can make it look like it was the whelp that did it." Adam seemed to consider what Spike was saying.
"What's in it for you?"
"I just want to be there when you take down the bastards the captured me," Spike told him. "I want to bathe in their blood." Adam smiled at Spike.
"And so you shall."
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