Buffy stood uncertainly outside of the hotel door that was housing her
mother and her Watcher. She hadn't felt this nervous in years.
She knew
that she had to go in and face the music but that didn't mean that
she had
to like it. She knew the only way that she could avoid this moment
was if
she took off again, but she didn't want to do that. Buffy was
finally happy
where she was. She had friends that she could have fun with and
who didn't
have to worry about becoming vamp food one night. She had a job
that helped
her with getting the things that she wanted. She even made a
home for
herself at Joey's and her sister's. Buffy took a deep breath
and knocked on
the door. It was opened almost immediately and Buffy found herself
facing
the man that had been like a father to her.
"Buffy," Giles said simply.
"Hi Giles," she answered, looking down at her feet, unable to look
the
Watcher in the eye. "Ummm, can I come in?"
"Of course," the Watcher opened the door wider, allowing the blonde
teen
entrance into the room. "You're looking good Buffy. Capeside
seems to be
agreeing with you."
"It is," she agreed. Buffy looked around the room, her eyes lighting
upon
her mother who was sitting on the lone bed that was there. Buffy
saw the
tears that were coursing down the older woman's face and felt a pang
of
guilt at the knowledge that she had been the reason that they were
there.
"Mommy," Buffy whispered in a little girl's voice.
"Oh Buffy," Joyce cried, opening her arms. Buffy rushed forward
and was
engulfed in her mother's arms. Buffy joined her mother in crying,
both
tears of joy and sadness. "I've been so worried about you.
I never thought
that I would be able to hold you in my arms again. Why did you
run away?"
"I'm sorry mom," the Slayer apologized. "I didn't mean to hurt
you. I
thought it would be better all around if I wasn't around anymore.
I just
always seemed to cause more trouble than I meant too. I figured
everyone
else would be happier if I wasn't there." Joyce pulled away from
her
daughter, framing her face with her hands.
"How could you possibly think that," Joyce demanded. "You've
my daughter.
What would ever make you think that I would want you to be anywhere
than at
home. That's where you belong." Buffy could only shake
her head.
"No mom, I don't belong there anymore," Buffy denied. "I'm no
longer that
Buffy anymore. I'm not the Slayer."
"You'll always be a Slayer, Buffy," Giles told the young girl.
"No matter
where you are or what you're doing, that will never change."
"No Giles, you're wrong," Buffy stated. "You don't know what
my life has
been like these past few months. I haven't had to worry about
anything more
than making sure I get to work on time and getting my homework done.
I
don't have to deal with vampires or demons or anything other than being
a
normal teenager. I like my life here."
"But what about Sunnydale and your friends there," Joyce cried.
There was
something in her daughter's voice that she didn't like. Something
that made
Joyce think that Buffy didn't want to come home. "What about
your family
there?"
"Mom, you can always move here," Buffy replied. "You'd love Capeside.
And
they could so use a gallery like yours. And I think you would
really like
my friends."
"Buffy, I have a life back in Sunnydale and so do you," Joyce reminded
Buffy. The blonde shook her hair.
"Not anymore. My life is here," she repeated. "I know that
hurts you mom,
but it's the way I feel."
"And your slaying duties?" Giles questioned.
"You guys have Faith now," Buffy answered. "I'm sure she's doing
fine.
You don't need two Slayers there."
"And your friends? Willow? Xander? Do they mean nothing
to you?"
"No, I'll always care for them, but I'm not the same person I was there,"
Buffy told them all. She took a deep breath. "Look, I don't
want to fight.
I really don't. Besides, a lot has changed since I've
been gone. There
isn't room for me back there."
"Buffy, there will always be room for you in Sunnydale," Giles said,
coming
over and putting his arm around the blonde's shoulders. "It's
your home, no
matter what might have changed."
"I don't think so," Buffy sneered. "You have a new Slayer.
Xander is
actually involved with her. You and mom are together, which I
just want to
say is like majorly weird. Cordelia is involved with the guy
that I've been
hearing about since I've been here. And I don't even want to
get into the
whole Angel is back from Hell somehow and involved with Willow."
Buffy
paused a moment. "No wait, I do want to get into that.
How the hell did
that happen? What did Willow do to get Angel to be with her?"
Joyce and
Giles looked between each other, trying to figure out just what had
caused
Buffy to become as bitter as she did.
"Buffy, Willow didn't do anything to make Angel fall in love with her,"
Joyce said, defending the relationship between the red headed hacker
and the
vampire. "All she did was comfort him when he came back from
Hell and offer
him her friendship. It was only natural that he fell in love
with her."
Buffy shook her head, denying what she was hearing. She couldn't
believe
her mother, of all people, was telling her that Angel belonged with
someone
other than her.
"No, Angel loves me," she cried out. "We're soulmates.
My having to send
him to Hell was the reason I left. I couldn't handle it."
"And now that he's back?"
"Now, I'm going to get back what's mine," Buffy stated flatly.
"No matter
what."
"Buffy, please don't do this," Joyce pleaded with her daughter.
"Angel and
Willow are happy together. The belong together."
"No, you're wrong. I'll show you. You're wrong."
Then, in a fit of rage,
Buffy ran out of the hotel room and away from her mother and Giles,
knowing
in the back of her mind that they were right, but refusing to believe
that
she couldn't have the life that she wanted in Capeside and the man
that she
loved in Angel.
Later that night, Buffy found herself down by the docks. She had
been
wondering around Capeside since she had left Joyce and Giles.
Buffy was
thinking about the things that she had been told by both her mother
and
Watcher and by her friends here in Capeside. She knew it was
time that she
try and reconcile her two lives, but she wasn't sure how she was going
to do
that. She had thought that she had finally put her life in Sunnydale
behind
her and now, here it was, coming back and biting her in the ass.
The people
that she had left knew where she was and the man that she loved, the
man
that she thought she would never see again, was here and supposedly
in love
with someone else.
"Hello Buffy," a deep voice called. Buffy paused in her musings
as she
savored hearing her name said by the man that still held her heart,
even
after so long.
"Angel." The blonde turned to face her former lover, her breath
drawn in
as she got a good look at him under the light of the full moon.
'He's still
so gorgeous. Just like a Greek God. How could I ever think
that Dawson
could be a replacement for this man?' "What are you doing out
here?"
"Faith and I thought it would be a good idea to keep patrolling to
make
sure that there weren't any more vampire hanging around," the souled
vampire
told her.
"And have there been?" Angel shook his head in the negative.
Silence was
again engulfed the two former lovers, the tension almost palpable between
them. "That's good." Angel turned his attention towards
the calmness of
the water. Buffy moved to stand next to Angel, gently brushing
up against
his arm. "I still can't believe that you're actually here.
I never thought
that I would ever see you again. I mean, how did you ...?"
Buffy left the
question open, hoping that Angel would understand what she was trying
to say
and yet unable to actually able to say the words.
"We don't know how or why I'm back, and I really don't care anymore,"
Angel
said simply. "I'm just grateful for a second chance at life."
'And love,'
he added silently, but Buffy heard it almost as if he had spoken aloud.
"So, umm, you and Willow, huh," she began. "Gotta say, that was
a shocker.
Never thought I would see that happen."
"Yeah, it was a bit of a surprise to us too," Angel chuckled, remembering
the shock that must have been on both his and Willow's faces after
their
first kiss. "It wasn't something that we were planning on.
I mean, I was
just so grateful to have her as a friend. I never expected anything
more
than that."
"Do you love her?"
"With everything I am," Angel answered, not even trying to hide his
true
feelings out of respect for Buffy's emotions. He didn't intend
to ever hide
his love for Willow. "She makes me complete. Willow accepts
me for who I
am, vampire and soul combined. I've never been happier than when
I'm with
her."
"But what about us?" Buffy cried. "What about our love?"
Angel finally
turned from the water and faced the blonde. He felt sorry for
the hurt that
she must be going through but he refused to allow her to feel guilty
for the
way he felt.
"Buffy, what we had, what I felt for you, its in the past," Angel
explained. "It died the minute that I turned into Angelus.
When I
threatened you and your friends. When I killed your teacher.
The man I am
now, the man that's standing here, isn't the same one that you loved."
"Then give me a chance to get to know this Angel," Buffy whispered,
cupping
Angel's cheek with her hand. "Give me a chance to love this Angel
as much
as I love the old one."
"I'm with Willow now, Buffy," Angel reminded the Slayer. "I'm
in love with
her. She's who I want to be with." Buffy backed away, shaking
her head and
trying to deny what she was hearing.
"No, I refuse to accept that," she almost shouted. "What
you and I had
was special. We were meant to be together. You and I are
soulmates.
Something like that just doesn't die because you say it does."
"Buffy, come on, you know what we had would never have worked.
You're a
Slayer and I'm a vampire," Angel said gently. "At most, we can
be friends,
but nothing more. I'm in love with Willow."
"But what about me? What about us?"
"There is no us, not anymore. Please Buffy, accept that Willow
and I are
together. She misses you so much. She misses her friend."
"Yeah, she missed me so much she had to go after my boyfriend," the
irate
blonde hissed. "The little bitch was probably lusting after you
the whole
time we were together."
"Buffy you know that's not true," Angel denied. "Willow was your
best
friend. She would never do anything to hurt you."
"That's a lie," Buffy shrieked, her face contorting in fury.
Deep down,
she knew what Angel was saying was true. That Willow was her
friend and
would never do anything to hurt Buffy, but that was only a small part.
A
part that Buffy's mind didn't want to listen to. All she could
think about
was that Willow had what had been hers and what Buffy wanted back.
"Willow
did something, didn't she? A spell or something." Angel
shook his head,
sad at the anger evident in Buffy's outburst.
"Willow didn't do anything other than be herself," the tried to reason.
"That's why I fell in love with her. Please, accept that I love
her."
"No, you and I were meant to be together," Buffy reiterated.
"I'll prove
it to you. I'll make you fall in love with me again. You'll
see." And
with that said, Buffy turned and ran from Angel, disappearing into
the night
leaving a saddened vampire behind wondering what had happened to make
Buffy
so bitter and hoping that she didn't do anything that they would all
regret.