Part 13

"Willow, Xander, wait up," Buffy called out as she saw the two friends who
were walking down the hall a little in front of her.  It had been two days
since Buffy had gone to talk to Angel at the mansion and apologized for her
actions.  Two days of the blonde slayer doing her best to avoid the Scooby
Gang, not wanting to hurt their friendships anymore by saying something
hurtful.  She didn't want to risk losing what little she had left with time.
  She hoped that they would see it as a sign that she had meant it when she
told Angel that she wanted to get back their friendship.  Willow and Xander
reluctantly turned to face Buffy, their faces clearly showing their
weariness of her motives.
"What is it Buffy?"  Xander sighed, putting himself between the two girls.
He didn't relish the thought of a repeat performance from the other day.  He
refused to allow Buffy easy access to Willow in case the blonde decided to
get physical again.
"Well, I umm.I just thought.," Suddenly Buffy had no idea of what she
should say to her two best friends.
"You thought what?"  Xander asked, what little patience he had for Buffy
having grown thin long ago.  "You thought that maybe you could insult us
some more?  Maybe hit Willow a little harder?  Make us think that everything
that has happened has been our fault? What was it that you were thinking?"
Buffy visibly deflated as Xander continued his rant.  She couldn't believe
that she had allowed things to get so bad between them.  It was something
that she had never thought would be possible.  Buffy had to fight back the
tears that were threatening to fall.
"No," she denied.  "Nothing like that.  I know the way I've been acting
lately hasn't been of the good and I'm sorry.  I'll understand it if you
both would rather never see me again.  I might not like it, but I'll accept
it."
"Why should we believe you, Buffy?"  Willow questioned.  It was taking
everything that she had not to cry in front of the blonde.  She had wanted
to hear these same words coming from Buffy's mouth since the entire ordeal
had begun, but she couldn't bring herself to truly trust in the words.  The
red head didn't want to get her hopes up, only to have them dashed again if
Buffy was lying.  "You've made it perfectly clear that you want Angel back.
That you would be willing to do almost anything to get things back to the
way that they were before."
Buffy hung her head down in shame, not even bothering to deny Willow's
words.  She knew it was all too true.  That she had done some horrible
things in her quest to return things to the way they had been before she had
decided to leave Angel in favor of Xander.  To try and have a normal life.
She could barely forgive herself for her actions, she had no reason to
believe or expect that the others would trust her also.    All she could do
was try and explain what she was feeling and why she did the things that she
had.
"I know there's no excuse for the way I've been acting," Buffy began to
explain.  The trio walked into the library; the first time the three of them
had been in there together since the revelation of Willow and Angel's
relationship.  Giles saw them enter but refrained from coming out of his
office, knowing that this was something that his charges needed to take care
of amongst themselves.
"Now there's an understatement," Xander sniffed, sarcasm dripping from his
voice.  Buffy took in a deep breath, calming herself.
"Xander, I'm.," Buffy started again.  "I'm sorry.  I know that it's a bit
too little and probably way too late, but I am.  I didn't mean to act the
way I was.  I really didn't think I was doing anything wrong."  Buffy walked
over to Xander, standing directly in front of him.  "I did care for you.  I
still do.  I want you to always remember that about me.  I never intended to
hurt you.  I thought that you and I would work. "
"Until you found out about Willow and Angel," the teenager stated flatly.
Buffy only nodded her head.
"I'm sorry," she said once more.  "It was wrong and I screwed up big time.
I wish there were some way I could make up for what I said and did.  I still
can't believe that I actually did those things.  I thought I had gotten away
from being that kind of person when I had left LA.  I acted like the old
Buffy Summers.  The Buffy that was only concerned with clothes and parties
and getting the right date to the prom."
Xander and Willow looked at each other.  The two friends could see how
upset Buffy was about what she had done.  They weren't sure if she meant
what she was saying and weren't willing to take it at face value.  Too much
had been done in the part few weeks to just take her at her word, but they
did want to.  They had missed her friendship, even though they had contented
themselves with not having her around in their lives anymore.
"Buffy, tell us one thing," Willow quietly ordered.  "Why?  Why should we
believe you?"  Buffy took the time needed to form her answer.  She knew the
future of her friendship with these two people depended on what she told
them.  Hell, if she was willing to admit it, if only to herself, her life
depended on saving her friendship with Willow and Xander, in whatever form
she could.  Buffy walked over to the table and sat down on one of the
chairs, her hands clasped in her lap and her eyes fixed on the floor in
front of her.
"I miss my friends," she finally began; her voice so quiet that it was
barely above a whisper.  "I miss having you around me.  I miss the laughter
that was always present what the three of us were together, no matter the
situation.  I miss having you guys here for research when the latest badness
was around, or for when we just needed some downtime between evils."  Willow
and Xander could tell that Buffy was on a roll and did nothing to stop here,
afraid that if they did, she wouldn't start again.
"I know that I've been a total bitch and I'm so sorry.  You guys are the
most important people in my life and I know that if it weren't for you, I
probably wouldn't even be here to say these things.  You guys have saved me
so many times and I've never told you how much that means to me.  If it
wasn't for the two of you, I would have died long ago, even before the
master tried to drown me."
"Buffy, all that's nice and all, but are you able to accept that Angel and
Willow are together, since that is why you've been acting this way," Xander
pointed out.  It was all he could do to stop himself from taking the blonde
into his arms and hugging her.  He knew how hard it must have been for her
to say the things that she just had and he hoped that it wasn't some kind of
trick of hers.
"I know that and as much as it hurts, I can accept it.  Especially if it
means that you will still be in my life," Buffy admitted.  "I know I have to
deal with my feelings if I want the two of you in my life, and I want the
two of you in my life than us being enemies.  I'd rather accept it and have
you in my life than not and have you gone."  Buffy finally looked up at her
two friends, tears in her eyes.  "Please forgive me."  Willow couldn't help
herself.  She went over to Buffy, kneeling in front of her friend, tears
falling from her emerald eyes.
"Oh Buffy, do you mean it?"  Willow stopped herself just short of giving
the other girl a hug.  "Can your really accept the changes?"
"Yes," Buffy said.  "I might not be happy about it, and it may take me a
little while, but I will.  I don't like us not being friends."
"Neither do I, Buffy.  Neither do I."  And then the distance that had
separated the two girls disappeared as they came together in a hug, both
crying over how close they had come to ending their friendship.  Xander
joined them quickly, wrapping his arms around them, relishing their warmth.
Giles looked out of his office, smiling at the three friends, glad to see
that they had apparently made up and hoping that their healing could begin.
 

Willow, Xander, Buffy and Amy were all sitting around a table at the
Bronze, bouncing in time to the pulsing music that was surrounding them.  It
had been two months since Buffy had finally broken down and apologized.  Two
months of Buffy working hard at renewing her friendships with Willow and
Xander.  Two months of Buffy truly accepting that she and Angel were over
and that the souled vampire was in love with Willow.  It hadn't taken much
for her to realize that.  Just seeing the two of them together, without
trying to break them up or anything, and she could tell how deep the
feelings went between the two of them.  And, even though she still loved
Angel, she knew that she could never do anything to try and separate the two
of them.  So Buffy did what she had to do.  Move on with her life.  And to
that extent she was sitting with her friends, waiting for her date to show
up while Angel was busy patrolling for her.  It was his way of helping her
regain some semblance of a normal life.
"So what time is Scott suppose to get here?" Willow asked.
"He said he would try and get here around nine or so," Buffy answered.
"Had to do that whole family bonding thing.  Seems his parents haven't
exactly been of the happy with all of the late nights he's been spending out
with us."
"Well, at least some of us have parents that care where we are," Xander
quipped, the sarcasm evident in his voice.
"Yeah, but you have to admit, clueless parents can come in handy when you
don't' want to explain to them what you've doing coming in at three in the
morning with green demon slime all over your clothes," Amy pointed out.
"Somehow telling them the truth just doesn't exactly seem an option."  The
four teens laughed at the truth of Amy's statement.
"Yeah but I have to admit, that it's a lot easier now that my mom knows all
about the whole slaying thing," Buffy told them all.  "She's still not all
that comfortable with it, but she is way more willing to give me my own
space and all."
"That's what happens when you have a cool mom," Xander pointed out.
"Speaking of parents, has anyone heard from Cordelia lately?"
"Yeah, I got a letter from her the other day," Willow answered.  "Her
family finally found a place to settle.  They're currently living someplace
in the Jamaica but she didn't say where.  I don't think she was supposed
to."
"Oh man, Jamaica,' Buffy groaned, her thoughts turning to white sand and
warm sun.  "That must be the life."
"Yeah but just think of Spike and all that sun," Xander grinned.  "Somehow
I'm thinking it isn't exactly something he would be enjoying."
"As long as he's with Cordy, I don't think Spike's really caring all that
much," Amy commented.  "I just still can't believe that her father made them
move there."
"He just didn't like the concept of going to jail for tax evasion," Xander
added.  "And Cordy's mom hated the fact that the government was planning on
taking away all of their money.  Couldn't imagine living life like the rest
of us and having to actually work for a living."
"So instead they head to Jamaica and force Cordelia to go with them," Buffy
shook her head in amazement at the selfishness shown by the former
cheerleader's parents.  She knew she had been the selfish once and was glad
that she had grown passed that.  "I mean, they knew she had a place here to
stay if she wanted it.  My mom even told them that she could come and live
with us so that she could graduate with her friends but they still told her
no."
"I think they were afraid that if Cordelia was still here, the government
might use her as a way to get to them," Willow mentioned.  Willow's face
brightened as she saw Angel enter the nightclub and make his way over to
their table.  The vampire leaned down and gave the red headed witch a kiss
before even greeting everyone at the table.  "Hey, Angel."
"Hi Kitten," Angel said, then finally turned to face the others at the
table, nodding his greeting.  "Everyone."
"Hey Deadboy, how was patrol?"  Xander asked, as Buffy looked over and saw
Willow sit up so that Angel could have her seat, before resettling herself
on Angel's lap.
"Quiet," came the reply.  "Looks like the vamps are still trying to regroup
from Spike's parting shot at them."  Everyone thought back to the week after
the Chase's had left town.  Spike had taken his frustrations at being
separated from his girlfriend out on the demon population, single-handedly
killing or chasing away dozens of demons and vampires.   It had quickly
become common knowledge that t wasn't safe to be on the Hellmouth, for some
other reason other than the Slayer.  Buffy started when she felt a pair of
arms wrap around her waist before she felt a familiar sense of lips against
her neck.
"Hey sweetie," Scott purred in the blonde's ear, coming around to face her.
"Hey, hun," Buffy smiled sweetly at the boy that was doing his best at
helping Buffy get over Angel, and was succeeding in his own way.  Buffy knew
that there would always be a part of her that loved Angel but she also
wouldn't allow that part of her to keep her from enjoying what life had to
offer her.  "How was family time?"
"Long and boring," Scott grinned.  "Let's just say I'm glad I'm here now."
He leaned down and gave Buffy another kiss.  "What say we dance?"
Buffy allowed Scott to lead her out to the dance floor.  Xander and Amy and
Angel and Willow joined them.  The three couples spent the night laughing
and dancing, enjoying what life had given them and four of them thanked
whatever gods there were they had been given a second chance at friendship
and love.

next