Part 9

      "Buffy why in the world did you just attack Willow?" Giles angrily asked,
trying to keep his voice calm but not succeeding well.  "She's your best
friend."
      "Friends don't go after other friend's boyfriends," Buffy retorted.
      "Willow did no such thing.  She went to Angel because she needed a friend.
What happened between them was only natural,""Giles tried to explain.
"Besides, you already are involved with Xander so you being upset over
Willow and Angel being together makes no sense."
      "She knew how I felt about him," the blonde argued.  "She knows I love him
but she still went to him.  Just because she's hurt that Xander and I didn't
tell her about us doesn't give her the right to move in on Angel."
      "Buffy, why do you care whether Angel and Buffy are together," Xander asked
not liking how possessive his girlfriend was over her ex.  And it hadn't
escaped his notice that she was using the present tense when discussing her
feelings for the souled vampire.  "I thought you were over him."  Buffy
looked over at Xander, her face softening a bit but not much.
      "I am," she told him, although not convincingly.  "I just don't think its
right that Willow go after my ex."
      "She didn't go after anyone," a new voice added in from the doorway.  The
trio turned to see Jenny joining them, taking Giles' hand in hers.  "Willow
and Angel were meant to be together, Buffy.  It was fate that brought them
to each other."  Buffy shook her head, denying what her teacher was trying
to tell her.
      "No.  Angel and I are soulmates.  We are the ones that were meant to be
together."  Buffy was so engrossed in defending her relationship with Angel
that she was completely oblivious to the tense that she was using.
Unfortunately, Xander wasn't.  He stepped away from the girl that had stolen
his heart, aghast at her words and wounded by the knowledge that she was
still in love with the souled vampire.
      "What about us, Buffy?" He inquired in a quiet voice.  Buffy looked at him
in confusion.  "What am I?  Just some little plaything that's here to amuse
you until you decide to go back to Deadboy?"
      "Xander," the blonde tried to placate the teenager but he interrupted her.
      "Don't," he hissed.  "Do you have any idea of what I've been going through
these past few weeks?  What I've given up for you?  I could have really let
myself care for Cordelia but I let myself actually believe that you loved
me.  I lied to my best friend because you convinced me that it was for the
best.  And all the while you were just using me."
      "Xander, you know I would never mean to hurt you," she told him.  "You're
one of my best friends."
      "And that's supposed to make me feel better, I suppose," he growled as he
realized just how much of a fool he had been played for.  "Hate to tell ya
this, Buff, but it doesn't.  God, how stupider could I have been?  I
actually thought that you and I stood a chance.  That you had finally
realized that it was me that you were meant to be with, but all this time
its always been Angel.  What is it about him that makes it so hard for you
to let go?"
      "Xander, please," she pleaded, not liking how things were turning out.
First, Angel had come and actually defended his relationship with Willow,
actually choosing the red head over her, then Giles turned against her and
now Xander is questioning their relationship.  This wasn't how things were
supposed to happen.  She was the Slayer.  The chosen one.  People were
supposed to love her and give her what she wanted.  Not question her or turn
against her.  "Let's go somewhere where we can talk about this."  Xander
just waved his hand away from her as he made his way to the library doors.
      "I think we've done enough talking, Buffy," he informed her coldly.  "I
don't think I can handle anymore.  All I want to do is get away from you and
try and save whatever friendship I can with Willow."  Xander's comment about
Willow made the blonde Slayer see red.  She would not let Xander choose the
other girl also, not without some kind of punishment.
      "Xander, if you go to Willow right now, you can forget about anything that
the two of us might have had," she told him, basically giving him an
ultimatum.  "We'll be through.  I don't even want you patroling or helping
with research anymore."  Xander shrugged his shoulders.
      "No problem."  The teenage boy turned to face the two adults in the room.
"Later G-man, Ms. Calendar."
      "Goodbye Xander," Jenny replied, smiling softly at the boy who had just
grown up quite a bit in the last few minutes.  "And good luck."
      "Thanks, I'll need it."  And with that, Xander was gone, trying to mend his
relationship with his best friend.  Giles and Jenny turned to face an upset
and angry Slayer, their disappointment in her obvious on their faces.
      "Buffy, I want you to sit down and listen to what I'm going to say," Giles
ordered his charge.  Buffy sighed as she did what she was told, mentally
preparing herself for the lecture she knew she was about to receive.  Giles
took a deep breath as he removed his glasses, cleaning the lenses with the
handkerchief that he always seemed to have with him.  Jenny whispered
something in his ear, seemingly giving him some much needed strength for the
upcoming talk.
      "Buffy, I need you to make me understand why you are behaving this way," he
began.  "I understand that you are hurt that Willow and Angel didn't tell
you about their relationship but you did do the same thing to Willow when it
came to your and Xander's dating."
      "But that was different," Buffy protested.  "Willow knew how much Angel
means to me and yet she still went after him."
      "Yes, Willow probably does know how much you care for Angel," the librarian
agreed.  "Then again, did you not know how much Xander meant to Willow when
you became involved with him."  This time, Buffy had the decency to actually
look ashamed.  "All I'm saying is that you cannot condemn Willow for finding
someone that cares about her.  Actually, if you think about it, Willow and
Angel make sense."  This time, Buffy shook her head, vehemently disagreeing
with Giles' statement.
      "No it doesn't," she denied.  "It doesn't make any sense at all.  Angel and
I were meant to be together.  Xander was just a temporary distraction.  Just
like Willow is to him.  I mean, come on, this is Willow we're talking about.
  Shy, timid, nervous, mousy Willow."  Giles and Jenny were shocked at the
words that Buffy was using to describe her best friend.  They couldn't
believe the viciousness that she was displaying.  They knew that Buffy
wouldn't take the news of Willow and Angel together well, but they hadn't
anticipated this bad of a reaction.
      "Buffy, Angel's a vampire, you're a Slayer," Jenny reminded the blonde
teenager.  "The two of you were made to hate each other.  Not fall in love."
      "No, Angel and I were meant to be together,"  Buffy shouted, standing and
stalking her way over towards the two adults.  "I don't know why you're
trying to convince me that we aren't, but I'll prove to you that you're
wrong."
      "Buffy, if you truly believed that you and Angel were meant to be together,
then why did you involve yourself with Xander?" Giles gently asked, trying
to calm his Slayer down.  "Or were you just using him to help you have some
kind of normal life.  The one that you always wanted to have."
      "I care about Xander," Buffy whined, dispising how things were turning out.
  "He's one of the most important people to me."
      "Then how could you have just treated him the way that you did?" Jenny
questioned.  "What you did was cruel and heartless.  Something that I would
never have expected from you."
      "What about what he said to me?  How he acted?"  Buffy retorted, angry at
how everyone seemed to be trying to portray her as the villain.  "He left me
to go to her."
      "Only after you made it clear to him that you were still in love with
Angel," Jenny reminded her.  "What did you expect him to do?  Just sit
around and let you make him fall even more in love with you while you pined
away for Angel?  That's not exactly fair to Xander."
      "Well, life isn't fair, isn't that what you are always telling me?"  Buffy
spat.  "I'm sorry if Xander is hurt.  I'll make it up to him, but what about
me?  Everyone is so worried about Willow  and Xander, well, whose worried
about me and how I feel?"
      "We all are, Buffy," Giles sighed, already knowing that the blonde was
completely in her own world.  "Its just that you are making it very
difficult to care about you when you push everyone away that tries.  You've
already pushed Willow and Angel away, and you're doing the same thing with
Xander.  All we want to do is care for you but you're beginning to make it
impossible."
      "I don't mean to," Buffy cried as she realized that Giles was right.  "I
just want things to go back to the way they were.  I want Angel back."
Giles shook his head as he watched Buffy's emotions cross her face.
      "We can't make things go back to the way they were, no matter how much we
want them too.  The only thing we can do is move forward and make the best
out of whatever life throws at us."  He moved forwards, meaning to hug the
dejected girl, but she backed away from him, refusing to listen to anymore
of what he was trying to say.
      "No, I don't believe that.  I can't."  When Buffy looked up, Giles could
see the tracks that her tears had made down her face.  "I just can't."  And
with that final cry, Buffy ran out of the library, leaving a worried
librarian and teacher behind.
 

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