E-Mail: sundevil48@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Okay, you all know the song. (to the tune of the Brady Bunch) Please sing along. These characters are not mine. They belong to the man known as Joss and mutant enemy and grr arghh. I'll return them someday. The song Masquerade belongs to Leon Russell
Distribution: If you have my stories, feel free. Heck if ya don't feel free, just let me know so I can visit.
Rating: G
Category: W/A angst
Summary: Willow and Angel reflect on their relationship and need to keep it from the others.
Special thanks as always to the wonderful ladyfae, for not only proffing it but providing me with the lyrics. I had heard this song in a play at school and knew it would be perfect for Willow and Angel.
Author's Note: Okay, this is the third in an yet untitled series of songfics chronicling the love of Angel and Willow.
Feedback: Yes please or else I may be forced to do another archive fic. Or stop writing all together. Because I'm eviiiiilllllll. *BG*
Author's Notes: Okay, I would place this before my other song fics "Funeral for a Friend" and "Keeper of the Stars" although you don't need to read them to understand this one.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Are we really happy with this lonely game we play,
Looking for the right words to say?
Searching but not finding -- understanding anyway,
We're lost in this masquerade.
Willow: I sit here, watching the two of you together. I know that the only reason you are with her is because we fear the other's reaction to us. To our love. So we pretend. Pretend to only be friends. Pretend that we haven't found something in each other that was lacking. It's so hard to see her put her hands all over you and wish that I was the one that was doing that. In public, instead of only in private. We've looked for some sign that they would be willing to accept a relationship between us, one that did not necessarily include them, only to find that it's not there, forcing us to continue our deception.
Angel: I can see the pain in your eyes and I wish that I could just kiss it away. It hurts so much knowing that we have to hide our love because of the others. I've told her time and again that it is over, but yet she still refuses to believe, insisting that we are true soul mates. If only she knew that it was you that my soul belonged too. How can either of us be happy having to keep our love secret, hidden from the light of day?
Both afraid to say we're just too far away
From being close together from the start.
We try to talk it over, but the words got in the way
We're lost inside this lonely game we play.
Willow: I don't want to hurt any of them, they mean so much to both of us. We've all been through so much, our friendship tested so many times. We've tried to tell them so many times only for something to come up that stops us. Vampires. Prophecies. Mid-terms. Goddess, can that girl keep her hands off you? I can see your face, you can't stand the way she is touching you. You catch my gaze, showing me with your eyes how much you love me. It seems to radiate like a passionate heat between us. How can anyone not know how we feel about each other? How can the people that profess to know us so well, not know that we love each other when strangers have asked?
Angel: I wanted to take you in my arms to the dance floor when that song came on. The one that reminded me of you so much. You've always been the one in my thoughts, even if you weren't the one in my arms. I had always thought that you were untouchable and that was why I allowed myself to care for your friend. Now the guilt over what I had done is keeping us apart. When you told me that you had feelings for me from the beginning I could feel my heart swell. Now it may be too late for us. We've tried to talk about what is happening, but the words never seem to come. Neither of us had ever been one for words, always so concerned about how others were feeling and now that quietness is threatening to destroy us. To pull us apart despite out best intentions.
Thoughts of leaving disappear each time I see your eyes,
And no matter how hard I try
To understand the reason why we carry on this way
We're lost in this masquerade.
Willow: I can lose myself in your eyes. In fact, I have on many occasions. There had been times when I had resigned myself to the fact that I may never be able to have you the way I wanted, the way that I needed you. Then you looked at me and not even my resolve face was immune. One look in those chocolate colored orbs and I found all coherent thought had escaped me. All I can see is the love that you have for me. Even here, now, with another trying to take your attention I can see that love and I resign myself to the fact that no matter what we do or say they will be hurt.
Angel: I tried to stay away. To give you the normal life that you so deserve, but I found my thoughts filled with your image. Your red hair spread out on my pillow. Your emerald eyes looking at me with love. I couldn't do it. I had even considered leaving Sunnydale, leaving you, only to get to the border of town and have to turn back. You seemed to call to me, to fill me and I couldn't deny it any longer. No matter what it meant or who it hurt, I just knew that I had to make you mine and I did, with no protest from you.
We try to talk it over,
but the words got in the way
We're lost inside this lonely game we play.
Willow: I can see you getting ready to leave and I'm about to ask if you could walk me home. You know, the whole not safe out alone in Sunnydale thing, but she gets up to join you. Wanting you to patrol with her. You look over at me, seeing what my expression was. My face was a mask of indifference, but you saw it in my eyes. My pleading with you to not go. For you to stay here with me. To hold me. To love me, but I hear myself voice the thoughts that the others would expect from me. "Have fun you two. Don't worry about us. We'll get home okay."
Angel: I knew you didn't want me to go with her, and truth be told, all I wanted was to sweep you up in my arms and kiss away any doubts that you might have about my love for you. I heard you tell us to have fun, but I have long since been able to read your body language, while the others just take you for face value. My heart breaks once again as you watch her grin at the thought of spending time with me. As I walk out with her, passing you, I hand you a note. "Meet me tonight. Midnight. I love you." And then I was gone.
We're lost in a masquerade.
And we're lost in a masquerade.
The two lovers met that night, finally giving in to the feelings that
they had to hide in public. They reveled in the touch of each other, the
passion that they felt. They hated having to hide their relationship from
the others, but knew that they had no choice. They had both tried so hard
to fight what they had together, only to find that it was impossible. No
matter what they did, they always ended up in each other's arms until they
didn't feel complete when they were apart. So they continued denying their
relationship. Continued to live the masquerade of friendship.
The End