Rating: NC-17 overall (some entries as mild as a G)
Disclaimer: While I have taken the liberty of adding a few characters of my own creation, all of the original BtVS characters and their world belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and The WB. All are used without permission (I'll return them all unharmed) and no copyright infringement is intended (like most who post, I'm broke, so please don't sue).
Summary: It's the year 2047 and Aishling Rosenberg has recently discovered that her grandmother left behind a vast collection of letters, stories, research notes, etc.
Distribution: You want it, it's yours, just let me know where it's going to be living.
Feedback: Beggars can't be choosy, and I'm begging, so. . .
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Entry No. 12
The sound of a door slamming shut pulled Willow from her slumber with a start. She shot straight up in her chair, sending the papers on her desk flying about her.
<Oh Goddess,> was her silent groan. <I've got to start sleeping at night!>
"Buffy, is that you?" she called out.
"Yah, Will, how's goes it?" Buffy inquired as she bound into the hacker's room. The Slayer surveyed the scene before her, her natural instincts at work, even in the relative safety of her own home. In Sunnydale, everything was "relative". She quickly made note of Willow's appearance and the loose leaves of paper that were still settling on the floor.
"Fall asleep at your desk again?" Buffy asked, barely containing her laughter.
"No!" Willow replied, trying to sound indignant. "Why would you think that?"
"Gee, Will, let me see? What was my best clue? The excessive amount of drool on your keyboard or those funny little square patterns imprinted on the side of your face?"
Willow put a hand to her tingling right cheek and looked down at her slobber-covered keyboard.
"Aw, shit," she mumbled, under her breath as she reached for a Kleenex.
Buffy could contain her giggles no longer and they began to escape her. "Musical Bubbles." That's what they always sounded like to Willow. Buffy giggles were light, colorful and melodious. They floated about a room and carried a tune all their own. They always lifted Willow's spirits and she found herself laughing along with the Slayer, as she tried to wipe-up as much drool as she could before it soaked too far down in between the keys.
"So, how was your day?" Willow asked her roommate and best friend as their laughter died down.
"Great! I just know that I aced both of my tests today. That studying stuff really pays off. Who'd have thought?"
"Who indeed?" Willow responded, doing her best to impersonate Giles.
"Are you saying I've never tried to study before?"
"Well, you have often lacked a certain amount of focus when it comes to school work."
"I don't think it was so much a lack of focus as it was an overabundance of things which had a higher priority. But things have been pretty quiet lately, oh God I hope no one heard me say that out loud, and quietness tends to lend itself to the pursuit of higher education."
"And I say, that is of the good. I, too, am very glad that it's been. . ." Willow looked cautiously about then drooped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Quiet."
Buffy scrunched her nose and a huge grin lit up her face.
"Gosh, Will, everything seems to be going so well this year! Sometimes I worry that if I talk about it, or even think about it, too much, it'll just go poof. Last year was rough. After graduation, I wanted everything to be different, to be better. I missed Angel so much, and balancing college courses with slaying was twice as hard as the juggling act I did in high school. Giles can't cover for me when I have to cut a class here! I think that my getting deeper into the research and studying and doing more pro-active planning helped out in the slayage department. And every day I missed Angel a little less, but that just made me feel guilty."
Buffy's smile dimmed a bit as she paused to think of the right words to say next. Willow simply gave Buffy her undivided attention; her silence let her friend know that she would wait to be asked before she offered any comments or opinions. Buffy shrugged her shoulders, then continued.
"One day I just let go of the guilt. What wouldn't I give for things to be different between us? I love him, Will. I can't stop loving him, but I also can't change what we are. It's got nothing to do with me being the Slayer. Long before we ever met, Angel had given up every practice that would have lead me to slay him. And it's got nothing to do with his being immortal. Hell, love really is blind. And it's deaf and dumb and has a lousy sense of smell, to boot. I know all that for a fact. I should have known Angel was a vampire from the very first moment I was near him. But I didn't. Gee, just how close did I get to him before I discovered what he was? Face to face, literally. Still I had no idea. I only found out because he hadn't been kissed, in what, like about a hundred years, and his passions got the better of him and he slipped. I used to think that it was his soul that kept my Spider Sense from going off. But even after he lost his soul, when I found him, Angelus, in his apartment, I still never "sensed" that he was a vampire. And he's the only one I know of that has never showed up on my radar. Why is that? Gee, there's something new to research. Wonder what Giles will say when I ask him about it, after all this time?" Buffy paused again and shook her head to get her thoughts back on track. "No, Will, what really matters is the fact that he's a vampire and I'm a human. And neither one of us can change what we are. He can't. I won't."
"Oh, Buffy," Willow sighed, her sigh full of sympathy & compassion. She knew just what it was that Buffy had finally come to understand and accept. It was the same truism that Willow had grasped long ago. Humans and vampires were two separate species. Like apples and oranges, or cats and dogs. They might have their similarities, but in the end they were just too inherently different to mix. Like water and oil, if you shook them hard enough they'd mingle for a while, but as soon as you let them sit, they'd separate, simply because it was in their nature to do so.
"You understood all this a long time before I did."
"I don't love him the way you do," Willow replied honestly.
"But you love him, and that's good. Angel deserves to be loved, even if he doesn't think so. I can move on now, Willow because now I know it's not right for us to be together in this world. But we will be together, some day. Angel will be forgiven, he'll make amends, he'll find redemption and some day, we'll all be together and we'll be free to love each other without restrictions of any kind. All of us. And it will be wonderful."
Buffy's eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Willow couldn't resist the urge to hug her friend.
"You're right, Buffy, it will be wonderful," Willow murmured, thinking of the peace they would each find in the afterlife. But then she had a vision of the entire Scooby Gang cavorting on a bed of clouds, and it made her blush.
Buffy must have felt the heat rise in Willows cheeks because she started to giggle again.
"Willow," she gasped, mock surprise in her voice. "You aren't having naughty thoughts, are you?"
"Who, me?" Willow asked innocently.
"That's my girl!"
Laughing, the girls parted their hug. Both of them felt better, their moods beginning to lift once again.
"Hey, Will, what d'ya say I help you straighten up this mess, then we'll make ourselves presentable and hit the Rathskeller for a beer or two before I go on patrol?"
"Ooh, sounds great! I could really use a break. Can I patrol with you tonight?"
"Sure, if you want to, but why would you?"
"It's been a few weeks and I just love it when I get to use my levitating stake trick on the fledglings. The looks on their faces when the stake comes floating toward them, well it's almost priceless! And their so stupid, they like never move!"
"There is just way too much glee in your voice, woman. You really get off on this slay with magic routine of yours, don't you?"
"What can I say, I'm easily amused."
"Ah, my wonderful little witch. I am ever so glad you're on our side!"
"Yah, well, just don't tell Giles I still like to use my magic for silly stuff. He'll get all worked up and lecture me again on the responsibility that comes with power, blah, blah, blah."
"I promise not to tell him you occasionally use your magic for entertainment purposes, if you don't tell him I'm not really going to my dad's next weekend."
"If you're not going to your dad's, what are you going to do?"
"Get married."
"WHAT?" Willow cried out in shock. "Where, when, why didn't you tell me? When were you going to tell me?"
"I did just tell you, Will," Buffy said with a chuckle. "Actually, I had planned on telling you two beers from now, but it slipped out early."
"Details, I want details," Willow demanded.
Buffy was beaming now and began to unconsciously finger the delicate Welsh Lovespoon that hung from a chain around her neck.
"Well, you know I've been seeing *alot* of Ian since he came back to Sunnydale in the Fall. So much of my life just seemed to slide into place when he returned. It just feels so right when we're together, now. When Ian was here the first time, Angel was still very a much a part of my life, even though he wasn't physically here. He was in Hell then. Maybe something inside me knew he'd be back, that the timing wasn't right yet for Ian and me. Things were different this time around. He proposed on my birthday. I accepted."
"And you're going to elope?" Willow asked, a wistful tone in her voice, a dreamy look in her eye. "How romantic."
"Yah, well romance wasn't the reason behind our decision. Avoidance was a key factor in our choice."
"Meaning you haven't told your parents or Giles."
"If I did, they'd try to talk me out of it, try to make me wait. I was kind of afraid you would, too. That's why I didn't tell you sooner. I don't want to wait. You know how I am once I've made up my mind to do something."
"Yah, you're just like me, only without the resolve face."
Not wanting to put a damper on Buffy's good new, Willow hesitated before asking her next question.
"What about Angel?" Willow's voice was just above a whisper. "Have you told him?"
"I haven't, no, " Buffy admitted. "But he knows. Believe it or not, when he and Ian took that walk on New Year's Eve, Ian told him what he had planned for my birthday. He actually asked Angel for permission to marry me. That's one of the most honorable things anyone has ever done for me, second only to Angel leaving Sunnydale so that I could let go of what we could never really have. And Angel gave Ian his blessings. He would *never* have done that if he had even the slightest doubt that Ian was the one for me. God, Willow, I am so lucky to have both of them love me the way they do."
All Willow could manage to do was nod her head in agreement. She was thrilled for Buffy and Ian, but she knew what Angel's consent had cost him. He still loved Buffy. He'd love her for all eternity. Willow was quite sure that, in spite of the fact that Aoífe was now in Angel's life, Ian's request must have caused him great pain. Angel had given another man permission to do for Buffy the things that he wanted to do, but never could. Ian would give her sunlight and children and he would grow old with her. Ian, not Angel.
"I am planning on inviting Angel and Aoífe to the reception we'll be having on Valentine's Day." There were traces of guilt and fear in Buffy's voice. She knew she should speak to Angel before she got married, but she feared that neither one of them would be able to find the right words, a common problem for them, let alone the strength of heart that would be required for such a conversation. She hoped that once the deed was done, it would be easier to face Angel. "You do think they'll come, don't you?"
"Of course they will, " Willow told her, reassuringly. "So, where are you going?" she asked cheerfully, trying to bring the conversation back to its brighter aspects. "To Vegas?"
"No, we applied for a marriage license the day after my birthday, so we can get married here in California. We're just going a few hours away, to Idyllwild. It's really pretty this time of year, there may even be some snow. A friend of my dad's has a cabin up there, we've had a key for years. He never uses it in the winter, so it'll be free for us. And there's the most lovely little wedding chapel."
"So, you're pretty much set."
"Yah, all except for asking you to be my maid of honor. Would you, Willow, please stand up for me?"
"Oh, Buffy, it'll be one of the happiest moments of my life. Yes, yes, YES!"
"Great, now that that's settled, let's go celebrate!" Buffy turned and started to head out of the room.
"Hey, you said you'd help me pick up these papers!" Willow called after her.
Buffy stopped and letting loose a very audible sigh, she turned and walked back to Willow and her mess.
"Oh, if I must."
"You must! If you didn't go around slamming doors instead of closing them like normal people, I wouldn't have made this mess!"
"No, you'd still be putting out pools of slobber all over your keyboard! God, Will, what are you working on anyway?" Buffy asked as she stooped down to help Willow collect all the scattered pages of her "project". That's all she called it. Her "project". But Buffy's interest was really piqued when she saw that Angel's tight, neat handwriting covered a number of the pages she picked up.
"Wow, Will," she said, "I didn't think Angel ever put this many words together at one time. What'd you do, torture him?"
<If you only knew how he'd get off on that!> Willow thought. She was instantly thankful that for once she hadn't thought out loud!
"No, Buffy, I think it's the other way around. I simply asked him to tell about what happened in New York on Thanksgiving Day and he decided to torture me but supplying me with way more information than I was originally after!"
"What, you guys gonna write a book or something?" Buffy asked, sounding a little hurt because she felt she'd been left out of the loop.
"Or something. Maybe. Someday. For now I'm just one bad-ass Wicca and a Watcher-in-Training, trying to practice and hone her skills!"
"That's cool!" Buffy said, as she placed the pile of neatly arranged, though completely out of order, papers back on Willow's desk. "And, say, there's two more big envelopes for you out on the kitchen counter. They were stuffed in the mail box. One's from Aoífe. The other has a Miami return address. Who do you know in Miami?"
"Nobody. Yet," Willow answered with a silly smile on her face. "But I'll bet you a beer it's from Whistler."
"Whistler, hunh? Gee, Will, you must really be getting into Watcher mode if you're corresponding with demons, now!"
"And just what would you call your "X" and his new lady love?"
"Ah, point well taken, Will. Ooh, pun there. . . Angel, Aoífe, vampires, point well taken. Bad, Buffy, bad."
Both women were laughing once again as they headed off to there respective bathrooms.
End
Entry Twelve