Rating: NC-17 overall (some entries as mild as a G)
Disclaimer: While I have taken the liberty of adding a few characters of my own creation, all of the original BtVS characters and their world belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and The WB. All are used without permission (I'll return them all unharmed) and no copyright infringement is intended (like most who post, I'm broke, so please don't sue).
Summary: It's the year 2047 and Aishling Rosenberg has recently discovered that her grandmother left behind a vast collection of letters, stories, research notes, etc.
Distribution: You want it, it's yours, just let me know where it's going to be living.
Feedback: Beggars can't be choosey, and I'm begging, so. . .
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Entry No. 5
14 January 2001
Dearest Angel,
Well, you've gone and done it to me again! Just when my life had settled into a quasi-normal routine, you've gone and disrupted it. I mean, it's been a little more than two and a half years since I decided to stay here in Sunnydale, to be close to Buffy and do my part in battling evil. Sure, we've had our moments of excitement, but it was routine stuff. You know, the usual; demons, vampires, strange occurrences, assorted prophesies. Nothing that was really life altering for me. So, why is that changes in your life are catalysts for changes in mine?
Oh, that bond thingy . . . there is that, hunh? But has that always been a factor? I mean what did that bond have to do with your losing your soul and subsequently making the following months some of the most terrifying of my life? Yet, maybe it was that bond that gave me the undying hope that you'd be restored and the courage to attempt the ritual myself. Twice, I might add. Still, your trip to Hell sure screwed-up my summer vacation that year! With Buffy gone, it was The Slayerettes who patrolled each and every night, doing our best to keep the residents of Sunnydale safe from harm. That summer turned me into more of a night owl, than I already was. I'd suffered from bouts with insomnia for years. But you already knew that, didn't you, Mr. Lurker? The nighttime rounds just seemed to seal my fate as a creature who would always lean toward a nocturnal nature. Part of the bond, maybe? And yet, all of those events lead me to discover my natural talents as a witch and my love for the craft. Even Aoífe was impressed with my knowledge and skill, especially since I've had no formal training. Did she tell you that we're going to spend part of this summer together? Silly me, of course she did! You'll be there a lot of the time, too, I suppose. She's an awesome witch, so strong, and she's going to give me some real instruction. I'm so looking forward to it!
Gee, I just read over what I've written so far, and I'm afraid parts of it sound a bit catty. That's not how I meant for it to come out. If we were together, you'd be able to hear the tone of my voice and you'd know that I'm really just very excited and very scared. I feel like a little girl whose been let lose, unsupervised, in a candy store. I mean, by virtue of my new calling, I pretty much have a free reign when it comes to learning all about Aoífe. She's a part of my history, my past, my ancestry, and yet she's also very much a part of my present and future life, as well. It's mind boggling. Ooh, and Angel, I get to learn all about you and your deep dark secrets, too! Aren't you thrilled? I know I am!! And yes, I'm laughing at you. Gently, though. I can close my eyes and see your pained expression, so clearly . . . it gives way to a worried frown . . . then, slowly, you're just hanging your head and shaking it slightly, quiet resignation the only course of action available to you. If you close your eyes now, you'll see that smug little smile I get sometimes when I get just what it is I want. And a twinkle in my eyes!
My visit to England was wonderful! Giles was so very different from anyway I've ever seen him before. I don't know if it's because he was "home" or if it was because he knows that I'm going to be a Watcher, too, but he was so much more open and at easy in my company. I don't think he stuttered once the entire week we were there! Of, course a vacation without Buffy also has its calming effects! Uh, please don't tell her I said that! You know I don't mean it in a bad way.
I had a formal meeting with some members of the Council. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I told them of my ancestry. When I whipped out the family tree Aoífe drew for me, I was so sure half of those stuffy codgers (note the cool Englishy word, codgers) were going to pee in their woolen slacks! But, it prompted them to allow me, a non-member, to have access to part of their archives, an event which Giles assures me had never occurred before. There are written records of her clan, *my* clan (that's so wiggy), dating back as far 643 AD! I'm still flummoxed! That's a very Gilesy word, too, flummoxed. Do you like it? Can you see me in tweed? No, me neither. Of course, if the Council had their way, I'd still be in England, matriculating at Oxford and beginning my studies with them. But Giles and I had a lot of long talks while we did some sight seeing. He urged me to do what I felt was best, what would make me the happiest. That, of course, means staying right here in Sunnydale. At least until I graduate. I could never leave Buffy now. I really meant what I said when I told her I wanted to fight at her side. And I really believe that I make a difference. Buffy tells me I do. She tells me often, too. I'm so glad that through all that's happened in our lives, I haven't lost her. I pray to the Goddess every day that I never will!
Besides, I don't think I'm Oxford material. UC Sunnydale has sort of spoiled me. I don't think I could conform to the rigors of a conventional curriculum. Especially one as uptight as Oxford's. It's beyond rigorous, boarders on rigor mortis! I'm happy here, for now. And let's face it, I've pretty much made up my own study plan from day one. I've had very few formal classes, most of my work has been self-study. It gives me the freedom I need to pursue my extra-curricular activities. And since, in addition to being an active member of Scooby Gang and a practicing witch, I am now a Watcher-in-Training, freedom from a traditional college education is one thing I really need. I'm a Watcher. Wow. It still feels so weird to say that.
But, that does bring me around to the real reason why I'm writing to you. Angel, I am, here and now, making a formal request for information. I've already told you that I feel the need to start collecting data. I know, I'm so the Research Girl these days. Just call me Giles, Jr. All that I really want from you, at this point, is an account of what happened in New York prior to my arrival. I don't want to lead you in any way. I leave it up to you to decide upon the style or manner in which you choose to provide me with the information. All I ask for is an honest recollection of the events which took place in the hours before I joined you. Share with me what you will, what you feel comfortable with at this point. I can always pull more out of you, later, and that's not an idle threat. You know I can! If it makes you feel any better, I'm making the same request of Aoífe. If you two desire to share notes, or to collaborate, well, I'll leave that to your discretion, too.
I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do with the knowledge I acquire. I may never do anything with it, formally. I think I may end up too close to all those involved in this unfolding saga to ever be able to approach the actual story-telling in an unbiased manner. Perhaps I'll just squirrel-away all the little tidbits I collect and let some other poor soul figure it all out! Too many secrets kept for too long, I fear. The pain that will be experienced when they are revealed will be great. And I'm not exempt or immune to it. I'm keeping secrets already.
Something just didn't feel right and you know how I am when it comes to my "feelings". I couldn't tell the Council that you and Aoífe were together. I didn't even tell them that Aoífe is still alive. They had little in their records with regard to her existence after she was turned. A lot of neat stuff on her human life, but as a vampire, the reports of sightings or encounters with her were few and far between, mostly accidental or coincidental events. And right around the time of your becoming, she disappears completely from their records. I asked Giles about that, and he mumbled something about her clan being off-limits. He didn't seem willing to elaborate, so I let it go. I'll simply ask Aoífe, myself. By the same token, as far as I know, Giles did not tell the Council about you and Aoífe, either. I'm certainly going to ask him about that in the morning.
Well, Buffy has just come back from the campus library. She was studying. Honest! She's doing really well this semester. I'm so proud of her. Anyway, it's off to patrol and do a little grave robbing. We're going to retrieve some dagger that's buried with some old demon worshiper, par usual.
As always, Angel, please take care of yourself. I love you. And I expect you to always be there for me. Even if it's just so I can look at your beautiful face and hear the velvet tones of your voice! (See, I'm still a lust bunny!) And take care of Aoífe. She's mine, too, you know. And she may be older than you, but she's really quite an innocent, in so many ways. Coming from me, that should give you a chuckle!
I'll soon be looking for your first installment for my collection, so get to work! I know how you can procrastinate, when it suites you, you broody old vampire!
All my love.
Willow
End
Entry Five