Parts: 1-2
E-Mail: MissCzech@aol.com
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel & Co. belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and the WB Network. Technically Saban owns the idea for the Power Rangers, but yall know he stole it from Voltron. The individual Rangers own themselves. As for me, I think Bill Gates does. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: PG
Summary: It's freakin' weird. Just read it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a sunny day in Sunnydale. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Xander hated it all.
"I hate it all!!!! Buffdar, Larry, get in here now!!"
Two figures appeared out of nowhere, one dressed all in gold with some wings, and the other in a silver loincloth.
"What is it, my ever forceful and dominant master? Do you want to beat me?" asked the one in the loincloth.
"Shut up Lord Larry. Please, tell me, my radiant ruler, what can I do to improve this foul temper that you appear to be in?" snivelled Buffdar.
"I want Willow, ruling beside me and that Angel dead!!! Buffdar, I want you to kidnap Willow and bring her here. Once she basks in the glory that is me, she will submit and become my queen. Larry, I want you to distract those meddling Rangers, any way you can."
"Yes sir, I will create a monster and have it attack Sunnydale. The Rangers will be forced to fight it, and leave Willow out in the open."
"Go then, and do not fail me."
"Will you punish me?"
"Shut up!!" yelled both Xander and Buffdar in unison.
***
Meanwhile, in Sunnydale, the Rangers were busy going about their everyday lives. Beth sat in the only Starbucks, sipping a cafe latte, waiting for Kim to arrive. She stretched out her leather clad legs.
"Man, leather is not the appropriate warm weather clothing."
"Then why don't you not wear it?" asked Kim as she arrived, clad in what appeared to be a Catholic schoolgirl uniform, "Oh yeah, you don't have a choice. I forgot. I'm so used to wearing this, I tend to forget why."
"It still creeps me out. I never had you pegged for the Darla look."
"Haha, very funny. At least I'm not Cara. Poor girl."
That's when they heard it. The beeping coming from their unusually large belt buckles.
"It's Carriedon. Must be Xander trouble." They quickly left the Starbucks, and ran into an alley, where they disappeared.
***
At the school, Lorelei sat in the shop, with Carolyn and Paula. "Ok, now you simply put this thingie into that slot, and poof. You have a gun."
"Wow, I thought that mild mannered shop teachers weren't allowed to teach their students how to create weapons."
"That's simply a technicality. Now class, I want your spice racks to be done by the end of the week. They're spice racks. They're not that difficult."
Carolyn pulled out a vial of her beloved HCl and poured some in to her special gun. "Time for Xander to pay. Hey, how come you always wear the same outfit?"
"The same reason you are always dressed a little on the S&M side of things. We simply have to."
"That would be why Lorelei is always in silk, even though she uses a hacksaw all day?"
"Yup."
Then they too heard the beeping coming from their belt buckles. "Umm, Miss, we have to go to the bathroom." "Ok, and class, I have to leave. Dentist appointment. So just continue making your spice racks."
The three left the shop and disappeared.
***
"I see ribbons, lots of them." said Emma.
"Oh no, not another prophecy," groaned Peridot, who was doing some Tai Chi over in the corner. Why? Cause she was. That's when Cara entered.
"Ok, why couldn't you just say Cara was coming?"
"That would defeat the purpose of me being cryptic."
Cara was dressed all in pink, her hair curled into little ringlets, and lacy socks peeped over the tops of her Mary Janes. "Guys, the others didn't show up at the Juice Bar. I wonder if something bad happened."
That's when they heard the beeping. "Ok, so maybe they teleported to the Command Center." The three grabbed their belt buckles and disappeared.
At the Command Center, all the Rangers had gathered to hear what Carriedon had to say. Amelia sat bouncing impatiently. "Ooh, I wonder what it is. I hope it involves pummelling."
"Yes, my child, it does." They looked at their mentor, who wearing a pair of kickass boots.
"Yeah, it appears as though Lord Larry is attacking with a new monster. According to my research, it's the feared HarmonyHead," said Tressa, who appeared from behind a large pile of books wearing a fuzzy sweater.
"Ewww, it's hideous. Someone hold me," Kim joked as she jumped into Beth's arms.
"Girl, get a boyfriend."
"Stop!! We must act serious. Just because we have defeated Xander's forces in the past, does not we can take him lightly."
"Geez, sorry, only having some fun."
"Well," spoke up Beth, "as leader I say we go in, take him out, and come back in time for some SoCo and Ben and Jerry's."
End Part 1
This plan was agreed upon by all the Rangers, and they set forth to the park, where Lord Larry and his monster were attacking innocent park-goers. The monster truly was hideous, it looked liked Harmony, complete with vapid smile and annoying voice.
"It must be stopped, it's annoying everyone into some sort of trance," said Maggie. "I wonder if the frequency it uses can be uncoded and then sent back at the monster, like using it's own weapon against it. I better contact Tressa." Maggie disappeared, as she teleported back to the Command Center.
Out of nowhere, a huge group of token Losers, Xander's most often used and most incompetent fighting force, attacked the Rangers. "It's Morphin' time!!!" yelled Peridot.
"Hey I thought it was my turn to yell that, you did it last time," Kim whined.
"No, Renee yelled it last time, therefore it's my turn."
"I don't follow the logic."
"Will you two shut up and morph?"called their perilous leader.
"Oh, ok."
"Pants!!!"
"Belt Buckle!!!"
"Boxer!!!"
"Hair!!!"
"Smut!!!!"
"Chair!!!"
"Pantsless!!!"
"Halo!!!"
"Jacket!!!"
"Boot!!!"
With that all the Rangers morphed into their feared fighting alter egos. Beth was encased in leather catsuit created specifically for fighting. Kim looked quite intimidating in her plaid spandex fighting suit, as did Peridot in her polka dotted one. Lorelei was all in silk, and Renee, well Renee was wearing very little. Carolyn was in her fighting dominatrix suit, Amelia was wearing some awesome pants, Cara looked the picture of youth and innocence in her Sailor Moonesque uniform, Paula was in full obsessive fan mode, and Emma looked quite cryptic in her Riddler outfit. They all struck some groovy poses, and yelled, "We are the Mighty Morphin' PantsBoy Rangers! Prepare to meet your doom!" (Sorry watching Dragonball Z while writing this.)
The Losers launched themselves at the Rangers, and a really long and drawn out fight occured. Not because the Rangers were no good, but the fight had to be long and drawn out to give the other badguys time to kidnap Willow. Plus, these fights are always long and drawn out. It's like a commandment or something.
Ok, so during the long and drawn out fight with the Losers, Buffdar was busy kidnapping Willow. The evil winged harpy had captured Willow on her way home from school.
"So Willow, you think that Angel is yours? He's always been mine, and always will be."
"Ooh, Buffdar, I'm so scared. Come on, you have wings. You're a skanky winged ho. I feel so threatened by your presence."
Buffdar slapped Willow, cause that makes us hate her more. "Learn to curb that tongue, if you want to keep it."
"I love Angel, he loves me, and besides, the Rangers will no doubt save me."
"That's what you think." And Buffdar and Willow disappeared, teleporting to Xander's palace.
***
Back at the park, the Rangers had defeated and destroyed all the Losers.
"So, Lord Larry, time for you to go the way of clear Pepsi," yelled the Leather Ranger as she lept at him, performing a roundhouse kick to his face.
"Ahh, my face!!!! No matter, come HarmonyHead, by now Buffdar has Willow, and there's nothing you Rangers can do. mwuahahaha!!!!!!" and they disappeared.
"What, this was all a ploy to keep us distracted while Willow was kidnapped? Xander's gotten smarter," was all the Plaid Ranger could say, stunned by what had transpired.
"Ok, we must go back to the Command Center, formulate a plan to infiltrate Xander's palace and get back Willow. Someone better go inform Angel."
"Oooh me!"
"No no, me!!"
"It's my tuurnnn!!"
"I honestly believe it should be me."
"No me!!!!"
"ENOUGH!!!! We'll do rock, paper, scissors."
End Part 2
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