Parts: 11-20
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Willow sat at their table at the bronze and tried to appear like she was having fun. She wasn’t sure how effective she was being. Cordelia and Xander were dancing together, while Buffy was dancing with the third guy who had asked, leaving Willow to sit alone.
She groaned as she tried to remember why she had decided to come out and have ‘fun’, instead of spending the evening having passionate sex with her demon lover. Then she remembered. It was what was expected of her.
She was about to get up and leave when her friends returned to the table. She smiled at them, hiding her frustration.
"Hey, I think I’m gonna head out. It’s late." She stood up and started heading for the door. She was almost outside when she heard footsteps right behind her. Willow turned around to see Xander, Buffy and even Cordelia string at her expectantly.
"Let us walk you." Buffy offered. Willow nodded.
The four of them left the Bronze in silence, and walked slowly towards Willow’s house. The decided to take a detour through the park. After walking a few feet past a group of trees, Cordelia gasped. Buffy and Xander turned to where she was looking. They could see a pair of legs peeking out from behind a stone garbage can. The body was partly hidden amongst some shrubbery, but there was no doubt in Willow’s mind, whose it was. She breathed an imperceptible sigh of relief that it was finally over.
"Oh, my God!" Buffy bent down to inspect the body.
She couldn’t believe what she saw. It was Oz, but cuts, bruises, and burns covered his body. His legs lay in such an odd position, it was clear they had been broken long before he died. One of his nipples had been burned off, leaving an old and hideous scar across his chest. She took a closer look at his neck, afraid of what she would find.
Buffy drew in a sharp breath as she saw the two puncture marks on his jugular.
"Bastard!" Xander hissed. "Angel did this."
"Angelus." Willow’s words were spoken softly.
"Excuse me?" Cordelia asked.
"Angelus. You called him Angel."
"There’s a difference?" Buffy asked, confused.
Willow looked up disbelievingly into Buffy’s eyes. "Yes, there’s a difference." She looked into the shocked faces of her friends, and then back down to the ground.
"I, I have to go!" Willow turned around and ran down the street.
When Xander started after her, Buffy stopped him. "Let her go."
Buffy felt bad for her friend. Oz was the closest thing Willow had had to a boyfriend. Her whole body shook with rage at what Angel had done. There was no question in her mind that Angel had one this, or why he had done it.
*****
Willow left the park and started to run home. It wasn’t until she was halfway there, that she realized that she was headed towards the factory. Her only thought was of getting home. She hadn’t realized that home no longer meant the house she was raised in, but instead a run-down factory which housed a clan of vampires. She smiled at the realization. So much had changed in such a short time.
She knew that Buffy believed that she was upset over Oz’s death. The truth was, she had dealt with that the moment he had attacked her, and violated her sleep with the nightmares.
She just wasn’t ready to deal with her friends and their fury over Oz’s brutal death. They blamed Angelus, and would be spouting off a dozen different ways to kill him. She just couldn’t listen to that now.
When she entered the factory, she found Spike sitting alone. He looked up and grinned as she flopped down on the couch across from him.
"I thought you had a night of fun planned with the slayer?" He asked noticing her exhausted expression.
Willow nodded. "I did. But I got tired of sitting at a table waiting around, so I decided to come home."
Spike smiled at her use of the word home. "What is it, pet?" He asked noticing her frown.
"They found his body." He whispered.
Spike grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. "Are you all right?"
Willow stood and turned towards the door. "Yeah. I’m fine, just a little tired. I’m gonna go upstairs."
Spike watched her walk out of the room and stifled the urge to kill the Slayer. He knew that Willow was more upset at the way her friends had reacted than at the wolf’s body being discovered. He knew that the coming days would be difficult for her. She would have to listen as her friends plotted the death of her mate.
******
Jenny Calendar looked over her translation program one last time before she sent it on its trial run, deciphering the ancient text of the soul restoration curse.
She was running out of time. Rupert had called her and told her about the discovery of Oz’s body, and it sickened her to think of the agony the boy had gone through before dying. And all for spite. He had had no reason, no purpose in going after the boy. He had just done it because he could. That fact made it worse.
Jenny smiled as she translation program started to work it’s magic. Soon, it would be over, and her debt would be repaid.
End Part 11
Willow was awakened shortly after the sunrise to a very pleasant sensation. Angelus had been trailing kissing down her body at an excruciatingly slow pace. She moaned as she felt his naked flesh against her own. Angelus nipped at various parts of her body, bending it to his will.
She found her moisture pool around his hard shaft as he entered her. They seemed to move together as one. She had never felt so complete as she did when she was with him. She let her mind wander as he blocked all coherent thoughts. He was everything. Every thought, every sensation. She screamed out his name as they came together in a blending of thought and motion.
"Morning Lover" Angelus kissed the slope of her neck as her breathing returned to normal.
"What time is it?" She asked, enjoying the safety of his arms.
"After sunrise. You should be getting up soon." He reluctantly let her go, slipping out of her and leaning back against the satin sheets.
"No." Willow told him as she laid her against his cool chest.
"No?" Angelus asked, searching her eyes.
"No. No school today. I’m gonna play hooky." She laughed at his disbelieving expression. "What can I say, you’re a terrible influence."
Angelus smirked as he fell into a deep sleep. Willow followed soon after into the first sleep not plagued by nightmares in over two weeks.
*******
Buffy was fuming. She had been haunted by the memory of Oz’s beaten body. She couldn’t get the image out of her head. And the knowledge that she was somehow partly responsible made it that much worse. She knew that Angelus had done it. She also knew that the only conceivable reason for his actions were to hurt her. Oz had died a slow and torturous death because of her.
She sighed heavily as she entered the library. When she looked around the room and noticed Willow was missing, the stab of pain in her heart increased. She knew that Willow had taken Oz death badly.
*******
Jenny Calendar gathered the ingredients of the ritual and started to prepare. She only hoped that she hadn’t forgotten anything when translating it. This was her last act as a gypsy. She hoped it would make up for her failure to stop what had happened.
*******
Druscilla awoke with a pounding in her head. The vision kept coming in flashes. Something was coming. S he could feel it. Something bad. She started wailing as she tried to clear her head of the knowledge of what was to come.
********
"Neither Dead, nor not of the Living" jenny Chanted in her ancient tongue.
As she continued the ritual she felt a power go through her. It seemed to take over as the orb of Theseluh started to glow.
*****
Angelus awoke as he felt a burning pain go through his body. He climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb the slight redhead lying next to him. He pulled on a pair of pants and started heading out of the room. He didn’t know where he was going, or what was happening, but he had to get out. The pain was almost unbearable. And then, it was gone, leaving him a huddle mass on the floor.
******
Druscilla screeched as the vision stopped. She ran out of bed, leaving a confused Spike trailing after her.
"NO!" She yelled as she saw her sire lying on the floor. She ran to him and brought him into her lap. When he lifted his head and his chocolate brown eyes stared into her own, she knew.
She cried blood tears as his soulful gaze stared passed her into the sorrowful blue eyes of his favorite childe.
******
By the time Willow climbed out of bed, it was passed sunset. She hadn’t slept so well in weeks, and was surprised no one had wakened her earlier. She got dressed and wandered out into the main room of the factory, feeling a gnawing hunger in her gut.
She found Spike rocking a weeping Druscilla, who was frantically brushing Miss Edith’s hair. Willow rushed over to the couple.
"What’s wrong? What’s happened?" She asked as she bent down so that she was at eye level with the vampiress.
Willow could see the bloody tear tracks that stained the vampire's normally flawless skin.
"Daddy. He’s gone away. They took him." Druscilla whimpered.
Willow looked questioningly at Spike.
"I’m sorry, Luv." He shook his head sadly, unable to be the one to tell her that her mate was gone. "The gypsy. She cursed him."
Spike watched as Willow’s body shook. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body as she tried to come to terms with what Spike had told her.
She ran out of the building into the night. She ran to the only place she knew that Angel would have gone. She had to know, to see for herself if it was true. If her love was gone.
*****
When she arrived at Angel’s apartment, she let herself in, almost afraid of what she would find. It was dark. She could only barely make out the shadows produced by the furniture. He was here. She could feel him. It wasn’t the same feeling. It was duller, but she felt it nonetheless. That feeling, more than anything else, told her that what she feared was true.
"Angel?" She called into the darkness.
"Willow?" Angel asked from somewhere to her right. "What… What are you doing here?" He asked. His mind was still hazy.
Willow approached his form in the darkness. Looking into his sad eyes, she fought the urge to cry. "I had to know if it was true."
"Willow, I… I’m sorry." He apologized, his grief a heavy weight in the air.
"Don’t you dare!" Willow snapped, feeling her anger rise. "Don’t you dare apologize to me. You haven’t the right." Her green eyes boring into his, she felt her loss hit her like a ton of bricks. She turned away from him, her voice like ice as she spoke her next words. "I guess it’s easy for you now? You’re back, and you can go back to Buffy. Congratulations."
Angel watched her leave his apartment, as his mind replayed the events of the past several weeks. He could remember every conversation. Every moment he spent with Willow. He could feel every sensation she brought out in his demon, and he wept at the loss.
End Part 12
June, 1998
Willow took a deep breath as she sunk into her bed. She wrapped her covers around her tightly and cried herself to sleep. Only in sleep could she be happy. It was only then that the nightmare of her life would give way to the dream.
It was in these few hours that Willow could forget the months that had tore her apart. The months she longed for her mate. The days she spent pretending that all was well with the world. She went from class to class, a smile plastered face. She studied hard, researched demons, and laughed at all of Xander’s inane jokes. But inside, she was dying. Little by little, she was losing herself in her grief.
She couldn’t talk to her friends. They wouldn’t understand. They couldn’t share her pain. They had all forgiven Angel for the acts he had committed as Angelus. Even Xander had welcomed him back, although grudgingly, into the Scooby gang.
Buffy had tried to reconcile with Angel, but it wasn’t the same. She could no longer ignore the parts of Angel that represented the demon. She couldn’t forget the way he had taunted her, or the pleasure in which he had done it. Nor could Buffy completely forgive Angel for Oz’s death.
But Buffy and Angel had found a new friendship. They weren’t close, but they could work together, without opening the old wounds. Willow wished she could say the same. She could deal with Angel. She had no desire to speak with him. No desire to hear him apologize for what he had, or had not done, depending on what it was he felt she wanted. She had no desire for him.
Willow had returned to be everything they expected of her. She helped them with their homework, researched their prophecies, and listened to their problems. She was Willow- the net girl, or Willow – homework girl, or reliable Willow. Never was she just Willow. Except at night. She lost herself in the darkness. She let her dreams overtake her, reminding her of what once was, and what would never be.
Willow took a deep breath as her quiet tears slid down her face, drowning her in her own misery. She drifted off to sleep, just like she had every night for the past four months.
*****
Buffy bounded cheerfully into the library and sat down in an empty chair opposite Xander and Cordelia.
"Hey, what’s up?" She asked looking around the room. "Where’s Wills?"
"Not coming." Xander told her in between mouthfuls of potato chips.
"She said she had to study." Cordelia added as she flipped through a magazine. She stopped and looked curiously at the slayer. "Only Willow would be home studying the week school lets out."
"Yeah. She needs some fun." Buffy nodded as angel walked into the library.
Angel relaxed slightly when he noticed that Willow wasn’t there yet.
"Deadboy." Xander nodded as Cordelia rolled her eyes.
"Angel." Buffy smiled as she approached him. "Can I talk to you for a minute. In private?" When he nodded she walked passed him out into the hall.
"What’s wrong?"
"It’s Willow." Buffy was oblivious to the pained expression on Angel’s face.
"What’s wrong with her?" He asked, growing concerned. * What if something's happened to her? * He asked himself.
"Nothing. Not really. It’s just that we’re all leaving this weekend, and Willow will be alone for the summer. I was hoping you could keep an eye on her."
Angel nodded. "Sure. I guess."
Buffy smiled brightly and walked back into the library, leaving Angel in the hallway to contemplate how it was he was going to keep an eye on Willow when she wouldn’t even speak to him.
******
Willow awoke to a rustling noise in her closet. She opened her eyes slowly and allowed them to adjust to the darkness.
"Spike?" She asked without pulling the covers from her head. He was the only person who would be in her room in the middle of the night. At least the only person she felt connected to. She could sense him, in the back of her mind when he was near. It was the same with Druscilla and, she imagined, any of Angelus’ other children. They were all connected to Angelus, and through him, to her.
"Yes, pet." Spike came to stand over her bed.
"What are you doing here?" Willow asked groggily.
"Packing." He told her honestly.
"Packing? Am I going somewhere?" She asked as she sat up in bed. And looked at the two suitcases laid open on the floor.
"Yes. You’re coming with us. We’re leaving Sunnyhell." Spike turned back to her closet and started pulling out clothes and stuffing them in one of the suitcases.
End Part 13
June 1998
Angel slowed his pace as he neared Willow's house. He wasn't anxious to see her. She had made it perfectly clear how she felt when his soul had been restored.
He could still remember every second that his demon had spent with her. His whole body ached with her loss. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced, or ever imagined experiencing. It was only after being faced with this loss that Angel realized the love he had had for the slayer was nothing in comparison to what his demon had shared with Willow. He wanted that back. But it was not to be. Willow refused to talk with him. He wasn't the man she wanted, wasn't the man she longed for. So he gave her the only thing he could… space.
But it had been two weeks since the others had left. Buffy was spending the summer in Los Angeles with her father. Xander was visiting relatives in another part of the country. Even Giles had left, returning to England for a short respite while he wasn't needed on the Hellmouth.
They had all gone away. All except Willow. She was alone now. That was made him finally come and see her. He hadn't seen or heard from her since the others left. Not that hew as expecting to. She had shut him out of her life completely. It was that fact which hurt the most. They had been friends, of sorts before he had changed, and now, now they were nothing. Not friends, not enemies, not even acquaintances.
It had been almost five months since his soul had been restored, and Willow had shut herself off from everybody, and everything. Well, almost. She was still close with his childer, Spike and Druscilla. Which was why he couldn't bring himself to kill them, once his soul was restored.
Druscilla had been mad with rage. She had attacked the gypsy, and it was only due to the fact that Angel had been there that the woman survived. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to stake his insane childe. She was family. Not only to himself but also to Willow. Losing Dru or Spike would have shattered her already fragile condition.
Even now, it was only due to his promise to Buffy that he was going to see her now.
As Angel walked up her driveway, he noticed the house was dark, and he felt a feeling of dread wash over him. He couldn't sense her, telling him that she was gone. He was afraid he knew where.
Angel turned and left, without a second thought. Willow was safe. She was happy, well as happy as she could be. A part of him knew he should go after her. Go after Spike. But a larger part knew that they could help her in ways no one else could.
******
"Pet, come outside. It's a beautiful night." Spike walked up behind Willow and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She didn't move. Instead she stood there, frozen, looking out the window to the crashing waves.
"Willow. Come outside. It will do you some good." Spike started to pull her away from the window, but she stood firm.
Willow turned her slightly so that Spike could see the tears rolling down her cheek. Spike wrapped his arms around the slight girl, which only made the tears fall harder, and faster. Soon her body was wracked with sobs, as she shook uncontrollably.
Once the tears had subsided, Spike carried her upstairs to her room. Within seconds she was asleep. He left the room quietly and met Druscilla at the bottom of the stairs.
"C'Mon, luv. She needs to sleep."
"Mommy hurts. Only daddy can make it better. We must bring daddy back, Spikey." Druscilla told him.
"I know, pet, I know."
End Part 14
August 1998
Willow sat alone on beach as she watched the stars shining brightly in the sky. She would be leaving soon. Leaving her summer paradise. She had to return to Sunnydale. Return to school days, research nights, and the people who thought they knew her.
So much had changed in the past seven months. So much that Willow didn't want to remember. So much that she could never forget. She had fallen in love with a killer. Looking back, Willow wondered if it wasn't something she that could have stopped. If she could have controlled what happened, if she had wanted to. But that was the question, wasn't it? Would she have stopped it, if she could?
Even now, knowing what came of her actions, she knew she would have done it all over again. Even the pain she felt, the heartache that had buried itself so deeply into her soul that she had forgotten what it was like for it not to be there, it was all worth it. Even knowing the loss she would feel, she still wouldn't change anything. Every ounce of pain she was feeling now was worth the time she had spent with Angelus. But he was gone now, and nothing she could do would bring him back. She had had to accept that.
But with all she had lost, Willow had also gained something. Something she had never really had before. Family. She had found something in Spike and Druscilla, which she had never found with her own family. She would miss them. She knew that she wouldn't have survived the past few months if it hadn't been for them. They had helped sooth her when the loneliness had become too much. When her whole body ached from the loss of their sire, Spike and Dru had been there, easing her through the pain. They were eternal, as was their love, and devotion. They were demons, and still they had helped her in ways her mortal friends never could.
Willow sighed heavily as she watched the waves crash against the shore. She would be leaving in a few days. Back to Sunnydale. Back to her life. Back to him. She had known she couldn't avoid him forever. It was time to put the past behind them, and make some decisions about the future.
*****
Spike watched Willow from the shadows. His dead heart went out for her. His sire's loss had broken her, stripped her of her strength. He wanted to stake the bloody poof, and be done with it, but Dru had insisted that they leave instead.
"Pet, Are you ready?" Spike turned to Dru and held out a hand for her.
Druscilla took his hand and smiled as she looked up at the night sky.
"Spikey, Miss Edith tells me a change is coming. Soon, Daddy will be ready, and we'll be together again."
******
Angel walked to the library in silence. Buffy had returned the previous week and had asked him if he could help with research. With Willow still gone, they were short handed. He wondered if she was coming back. He missed her. More than he had thought possible. Even though they hadn't spent much time together since he soul was restored, being in the same room with her had been a comfort. It wasn't until she was completely gone from his life that he realized just how much she had touched him. She had affected every part of him. His body, his mind, his soul, even his demon had accepted, and loved her.
So lost in his own thoughts was he, that Angel didn't hear the footsteps until they were almost upon him. He swung around, expecting to see Buffy, and was surprised at who he found instead.
"Cordelia?" He asked, startled.
"Hey Angel." She smiled up at him, as she looked him over carefully, unsure if what she thought was true.
"Is something wrong?" He asked, noticing the way she was staring at him.
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" She asked.
"Excuse me? I think I'm missing something." He told her, growing confused.
"Willow." It was just one word, and she watched him carefully as he eyes darkened at her name. It was gone almost as soon as it had come, but the damage was done. Cordelia had seen the pain in his eyes.
"Is something wrong with Willow?" He asked, his face expressionless, masking the fear, which had gripped his being.
"No. She'll be back next week." She hesitated a second, unsure if she should be stirring up trouble. "Did something happen between you… before?"
Angel stared at her blankly. Of all the things she could have asked him, that was the one thing he was unprepared for. Of all of the 'Scooby gang', Cordelia was the one he believed was the least likely to notice anything. He believed her to be self-centered and shallow. Someone who didn't even notice anything unless it directly effected her. Yet she, not Xander, not Buffy was the one who picked up on the tension that had been evident.
"Before?" He asked, realizing she was still waiting for an answer.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Before. When you were all Grr. Kill, kill, kill?"
Angel stared at her, shocked. "What is it you think happened?"
Cordelia sighed. "I don't know. All I do know is Willow was acting strangely after you… changed. And then, when your soul was restored, she was different. The other's didn't notice it. She lost something…" She paused, seeing the look of confusion on Angel's face.
"Never mind. I was wrong." Cordelia shrugged and started walking towards the library again.
As Angel watched her walk away, he was struck with the realization that maybe he had underestimated the former May Queen.
End Part 15
Willow walked nervously towards the mansion. Her mind was a jumbled mass of thoughts. Not the least of which was what she would say to him when she got there.
Him. Her love, only not. He wasn't the man she had fallen in love with. The demon who had terrorized Sunnydale with a flourish for several months. Nor was he the same ensouled vampire who had come to her room all those months ago seeking information on Ford. But neither was she the same shy hacker who had told him she wasn't allowed to have boys in her room. Things had changed. They had changed
It had been three months since she had returned from her summer vacation. In that time, a lot had happened. Too much. Willow found herself thrust back into her old life of research and slaying. To all outward appearances, it looked as though nothing had changed. It was only when Willow was alone, that she could completely relax. Pretending to be something she just wasn't anymore took a lot of energy out of her.
A part of her wanted to step out of the light, and into the shadows. She had grown so accustomed to them, they were comfortable. A safe place where she didn't have to pretend to be something she wasn't. But an equally strong part of her fought against the darkness, which threatened to overtake her. Angelus was gone, and without him, the darkness was just an empty void.
Kendra had been killed and a new slayer was called. Faith was different than both Buffy and her predecessor. She was wild. She had had a hard life. She didn't follow the rules, and Willow found herself admiring the tenacity with which she fought. She was a force of nature.
Willow liked her, although she would never admit to the others. Which was why she had gone to go see the slayer. This past week's events had effected the brunette slayer deeply. Gwendolyn Post, a new watcher, had come to Sunnydale. Faith had allowed herself to trust her, only to discover that the watcher was using her. She was after the glove of Menigon. A weapon of incredible power. Angel had stopped her from gaining that power, but the damage to Faith had already been done.
The others, they didn't understand what the encounter had done to Faith. They had never felt alone, isolated, and then found themselves part of something else, only to have it ripped from them in a mockery of emotions that you wished you had never had. Willow knew. She understood.
She had gone to see the slayer. She surprised herself by telling her
about the past year. She had told her things she didn't think she would
ever give voice to. In return for Willow's honesty, Faith didn't judge
her. Instead, she convinced her that it was time to put the past behind
her. It was time to move
forward.
Everything Faith told her made sense. It was all things that she had told herself many times in the past several weeks. Somehow hearing someone else that which she already knew helped make her decision. Willow supposed it helped that Faith was an objective observer. She hadn't known Angel before, and never knew Angelus. Pain or anger didn't taint her opinion.
So, here she was, mere days after she almost lost her life at the hands of the insane watcher. Willow took a deep breath as she knocked on the heavy door. As she waited for it to open, Willow wondered what it was she was going to say. Would he be happy to see her? Disappointed?
*****
Angel sat alone in the darkened mansion, trying to come to a decision. He was tired of waiting around. He was tired of waiting for Willow to come to him. He was beginning to think she never would. In the beginning, he had been content to watch her from the shadows. To make sure she was all right. To help Giles' and the others with research, just to be near her. But that wasn't enough anymore. Every time he saw her, the memories shared by his demon would be sparked. He tried to forget her. He tried to convince himself she was better off without him. He told himself that nothing would make him go after her. Then it happened. She had almost died. He couldn't forget the terror that had gripped his being at that realization. He almost lost her. It was in that moment that Angel knew that there was no going back to what had been before.
He wanted nothing more than to claim her as his own, regardless if that was what she wanted. To possess her physically wouldn't be enough. He needed her body, mind and soul. His rational mind knew that he would get lost in her, and his soul would once again be ripped from his body. The longer he waited, the less he cared.
Angel was startled out of his thoughts by the knock on the heavy door. He opened the door, half expecting to see Buffy. His nonexistent breath nearly caught in his throat as he stared at Willow.
"Come in." He ushered her inside, a million thought running through his mind.
"Hi. I, uh, wanted to thank you." Willow stood several feet away from Angel, afraid to get too close to him. She found herself staring around the room, searching for anything to look at other than the vampire standing before her. She smiled slightly when she saw a small crystal sculpture of a hippopotamus sitting on the mantle. She had given it to Angelus after a visit to the zoo one night. He had found the creatures ridiculous. She had teased him saying they were no more ridiculous than vampires.
"For what?" He asked, fighting the smile that threatened to break free as he saw where her gaze had settled.
"Saving my life. With the glove." She paused looking at him for the first time. "I know, I should have thanked you earlier, but I just… I just needed some time to think."
Willow turned around and paced around the room nervously. Angel watched her with curiosity.
"Look, Angel. We need to talk. About us. About what happened… before."
Angel nodded his head in understanding and sat down on the couch, motioning for her to join him. When she sat across from him, he started to speak.
"Willow, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry doesn't really seem appropriate." He offered.
Willow looked up at him, her green eyes blazing with fury. "You're sorry? For what? For being with me? For loving me?"
"For losing you" Angel whispered.
"Excuse me?" Willow asked, confused.
"I can't begin to know how you feel, but I can tell you how I feel." When Willow nodded, he continued. "I can think of nothing but you. I remember the way you smell, the way you feel, the taste of your blood coursing through my veins. You consume me."
"Oh, Angel." Willow sighed, as she realized what he was telling her. She shook her head sadly. "I can't. I can't do this."
"Why? Do you hate me that much?" He asked quietly, fearing the answer.
"No. I don't hate you. What happened is no more your fault, than mine. The only person I blame is Jenny Calendar. And I know that's wrong but I can't help it." She stood up and walked around the room, trying to compose her thoughts.
"It's just… You aren't him. You may look like him. You may even have his memories. But you aren't him. I can't be with you, when he is all I want. That wouldn't be fair. To either of us." She turned and ran out of the building, letting the tears fall at the realization that she could never get back what she had lost.
*****
Angel watched her leave, and felt his dead heart break. He had lost her. No amount of time would change her mind. His only way to get back what he had lost, was to surrender control to his demon. And he wasn't willing to do that. Yet.
End Part 16
Druscilla spun around in circles, while Spike watched her with amusement in his blue eyes.
"What is it pet? What did you see?" He asked curiously.
"Daddy's left little tree. It's almost time, Spikey. Soon, he'll stop fighting. Soon he'll come home." Druscilla sing-songed as she twirled around the room. Spike smiled at his dark Goddess, knowing that she was never wrong.
*****
August 1999
Willow finished backing the last of her bags and turned to survey her room, making sure she didn't forget anything. A knock at the door interrupted her inspection.
"Come in" She called over her shoulder.
"Hey." Buffy smiled as she sat down on Willow's bed. "So, you're really leaving?"
"Yeah. But it's only a couple of hours away. And I'll be back for break." Willow told her friend.
"I know. But, I'm gonna miss you." Buffy's voice was laced with sadness.
Willow sighed, wishing she could feel bad about leaving. But the truth was she was looking forward to be on her own. The past year had been difficult for her. She had spent more time trying to be what everyone expected her to be than anything else, and it had taken it's toll. Now she was anxious to leave Sunnydale and all of it's memories behind. She hoped that Angel was happy, wherever he was.
He had left a few weeks earlier, after they had stopped the Mayor's ascension. He had told anyone where he was going, just that he was going to where he would be needed. A part of her was sad to see him go. Willow wondered idly if she would ever see him again. Turning towards Buffy, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind.
"I'm gonna miss you too." Willow smiled as she hugged her friend and began to carry her bags downstairs.
*****
"How long are you going to sit down here and brood?" Cordelia asked pointedly as she watched Angel sitting in silence.
"I'm not brooding." He told her.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I have an audition. Doyle's watching the phones. See you tomorrow." She smiled brightly at the vampire before she disappeared into the elevator.
Angel marveled at the strange events, which had happened since his move to Los Angeles several weeks previous. He had come to L.A. without really knowing exactly what it was he was doing. Shortly after he had arrived, Doyle found him. Doyle was a half-demon messenger, of sorts, sent by the Powers That Be. His visions directed Angel to where he was needed most. It was on one of these assignments that he had run into Cordelia. She had gotten involved with a local vampire, and once Angel had killed him, he offered the former cheerleader a job.
She was remarkable resourceful, and Angel found himself enjoying her company. It took away from the times when he lost himself in the loneliness he felt. He missed Willow. More than he had ever thought possible. He felt as though a part of his soul had been ripped out, torn from his body in a mockery of compassion.
On several nights, Angel found himself wondering why he didn't relinquish his control to the demon. Rationally, his mind could always come up with reasons, but slowly, his mind was losing the fight. He knew, however subconsciously, that it was only a matter of time.
*****
November 1999
Willow walked quietly from the library back to her dorm. She was exhausted. She had spent the last several weeks working on a new project. She had been so excited by it, she had barely taken the time to eat or sleep. It was this loss of sleep and nourishment, more than anything else, which attributed to her carelessness.
She failed to notice how dark it had gotten, and was caught off-guard when a pair of strong arms came up from behind her. One hand wound up around her mouth, stifling her screams, while the other held her title against her attacker's chest. She struggled to break free, only to feel something hit her sharply on the back of the head. Then everything went black.
*****
Faith took her time walking to Giles' after patrol. She and Buffy had taken to patrolling different areas of Sunnydale. The two could never seem to see eye to eye on anything. Their constant bickering had forced the former watcher to assign them different duties. They would switch patrol nights with training.
Tonight, it was Faith's turn to patrol. The streets had been fairly quiet, which in and of itself, sent off alarm buttons.
Add to that the phone call she had received earlier in the evening from Spike. He told her that Druscilla had had a vision that Willow was in trouble. That concerned her more than she would care to admit. She'd never met the blond vampire or his insane paramour, but had spoken to them frequently on the telephone since she and Willow had become friends. Willow trusted them, and that was enough for the brunette slayer.
Faith tried to shake the feeling of impending trouble off as she approached the watcher's house. Her fears were doubled when she entered the apartment to see Buffy sitting on the couch nervously.
"What's wrong, B?"
"Willow. She's missing."
End Part 17
Willow awoke in a room she didn’t recognize. She sat up slowly and looked around. The room was pleasant enough. It had a dresser, a comfortable looking chair, and a bed. The room was decorated in blues and greens, and gave off a cool, airy feeling. She noticed a window, but when she pulled the dark green curtains back she was confronted with a brick wall. <Perfect. > She thought. She walked to one of the three doors and smiled when it opened easily. Her face fell when she realized it was just a closet. As she entered the walk in closet, she noticed clothes hanging up. They were identical to ones she had hanging in her own closet at home. That thought sent a chill down her spine. Whoever had kidnapped her had done their research.
She walked out of the closet and turned towards to one of the other doors. It was a bathroom. Decorated in a soft blue, with fresh towels, and an assortment of personal items. Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, a new toothbrush, body wash. She noted with trepidation that they were all brands she normally bought for herself. Again, Willow was struck with the realization that someone had done their homework.
She left the bathroom and tried the last door, only to find it tightly locked. She sighed and sat in the chair. "Rosenberg, what have you gotten yourself into?" She asked aloud.
*****
"What do you mean, missing?" Faith asked carefully.
"Missing. As in not where she is supposed to be." Buffy snapped.
Giles cleared his throat and addressed the brunette slayer. "Cordelia called and said that she hadn’t come home last night. And she didn’t show up to any of her classes today." He explained wearily.
He hadn’t slept since he had gotten the phone call. He had tried calling all of his contacts at the university she attended in LA. No body had seen her since she left the library. It was as if she had vanished. While he knew that Los Angeles wasn’t on a Hellmouth, there were still innumerable amount of dangers a young woman could face, not all of them supernatural.
He had been surprised by Cordelia’s phone call for the simple reason
that he had been unaware of the girls’ friendship with Willow. They hadn’t
been very friendly when they both lived in Sunnydale. There was something
else that concerned him about the former cheerleader’s call. There was
something she wasn’t telling him.
"Well, what are we sitting around here for?" Faith asked. When everyone just looked at her, she groaned. "Never mind. If you want something done right…" She trailed off as she stormed out of the apartment.
*****
Faith hadn’t been out of the watcher’s apartment for more than thirty seconds before she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the familiar long distance number. The phone had been a gift from Willow before she left for school. She hoped her friend was all right.
On the third ring, she heard the familiar voice answer. "Angel Investigations. We help the Hopeless."
"Cor, What the hell is going on?" Faith asked as she headed towards her apartment to pack a bag.
"Faith! Thank god it’s you. How soon can you get here. All Hells about to break loose. And I mean that literally."
*****
Druscilla bounced into the bedroom twirling Miss Edith around. "Spikey, It’s time."
"Time for what, pet?"
"Time for Daddy to come home, Silly. Mommy’s in trouble. A nasty man wants her to be his Mommy." She crinkled her nose in disgust. "But don’t worry, Spikey, We all be together again. Mommy, Daddy, and our two new sisters. They love Mommy too."
Spike thought about what his dark goddess had said and then smiled. "Well, then, luv, I’d say it’s time to go home."
End Part 18
Buffy sat on Giles couch in a daze. She couldn’t believe Willow was gone. Missing. What bothered her more than that though was Faith’s reaction. She was more upset than she should have a right to be. She didn’t understand the other Slayer’s concern. Nor did she know why Cordelia would be close enough to Willow to know when she was missing. Those two facts bothered her.
“Buffy, How are you?” Jenny Calendar’s voice cut through Buffy’s thoughts.
“I’m alright, I guess.” She turned to Giles. “Any news?”
He shook his head sadly; “I’m afraid not.”
Jenny sat down next to Buffy. “Don’t worry. Angel will find her. That’s what he does. And I’m sure they’ll call as soon as they hear anything.” She smiled and hoped that she was correct, but she had a very bad feeling that their problems were just beginning.
******
Angel paced around his office angrily. He was losing control, and he didn’t care. Willow had been missing for two days. At first he had thought maybe that she had just gone somewhere, but Cordelia’s vision told a different story. She had been kidnapped. Someone had his Willow. His demon raged in protest. He felt the urge to tear the town apart body, by body to find her.
Cordelia’s knock on his office door startled him out of his dark thoughts.
“What?” He snapped.
Cordelia walked into the office and scowled at her boss. “Don’t you snap at me, Mr.-I-can’t-allow-myself-to-lose-control-even-if-my-mate-is-in-trouble!”
Angel took a deep, unneeded breath. “Sorry, Cordelia, I just…”
“You feel angry, useless, and out of control?” She asked, and then leaned up against his desk. “Look, I don’t see what the big deal is, just let it go.”
Angel looked at her incredulously. “You can’t be serious.”
“I can, and I am.” She told him seriously, and then smiled. “Angel, you told me about the way you have been feeling these last few months. And you were never the same after… “ She turned to look at Angel. “All I’m saying is that, would it be so bad if you lost control?”
Angel thought about what she said for a long moment. A part of him was completely repelled by the idea of Angelus returning. People would die, and he’d be responsible for that. But he couldn’t deny the feeling he had been having these past few months. He wanted his mate back. He wanted his life back. Even the parts of it he tried to deny.
He looked up to see Cordelia staring expectantly at him. “Were you going to tell me something?” He asked remembering that she had probably come into his office for a reason.
Cordelia nodded. “Yep. That was Faith on the phone. She’ll be here as soon as she can.” She turned to go and then stopped. “Oh, and Angel, it would be really bad form if you killed the Slayer before we find Willow.” She winked at him.
******
Willow sat on the bed. She was getting nervous. She had been here almost two days, and had yet to have any contact with her kidnapper. She didn’t know who had her, or why, but the fact that whoever it was, had made a concerted effort to keep her comfortable concerned her. She didn’t think it was a demon, or other such Hellmouthy nasty. The fact that her kidnapper was most likely a mortal scared her more than it probably should have. Willow had become so used to dealing with the supernatural aspects of her life; she had never given a second thought to the equally dangerous human criminal element.
She felt her body tense as she heard a noise outside her door. She turned as the lock was released and a man entered. She had never seen him before. He looked to be in his early twenties. He had dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. He was quite hansom, in creepy, stalker-boy kind of way.
“Who are you? What do you want?” She asked, making her voice steady, so as not to betray her fear.
“My name is Jonathan. I want you, and I have you.” He told her as a sinister smile graced his lips.
Willow stood up looked him straight in the eye. She refused to cower in front of this man. “What do you want with me?” She asked, steeling her voice.
“I want to possess you. You belong to me. You are mine.” His voice took on a tone she recognized.
This man, he thought she was a possession he could own. He was wrong. She only belonged to one man, and he was gone.
She took a step closer to him. “I belong to no one.”
Jonathon reached out and slapped her across the face with such force she was hurled halfway across the room. He walked over to rumpled form and pulled her up by her hair, until she was almost standing.
“Know this, you do belong to me. I own you. I can do whatever I want with you. There is no one here to care. No one to save you”
He eased his grip on her hair and smiled dangerously. “This can be difficult or this can be easy. It’s up to you. Your choice.”
Willow looked up at him and was about to speak when she felt something. She could quite explain what the feeling was. It was like someone had taken a veil off of her senses. Her entire being reverberated with a power she couldn’t place. The feeling was familiar. In an instant, she knew what it was. Angelus. He had returned.
“What do you choose?” Jonathon’s voice broke through her thoughts.
She looked defiantly at her kidnapper and smirked. “The hard way.”
Willow braced herself for the impact. Jonathon pushed her up against the far wall and wrapped a large hand across her throat, squeezing.
“Listen you little bitch, You belong to me. You had better accept that, or you’re life will be nothing but pain.” He snarled menacingly as he let his grip go and stormed out of the room, locking it behind him.
Willow slid down to the floor and cried softly. She knew that somehow Angelus had returned. He would find her. She just hoped she could hold out until then.
*****
Drusilla whimpered. Her vision was playing itself over and over again in her sleep. She awoke with a start. She was in Spike’s car. He was driving them home, to Daddy. She turned to Spike and placed a cold hand on his arm.
“Hurry Spike. The nasty man is hurting mommy.”
Spike looked at his dark goddess with concern etched in his blue eyes. “Luv, do you know where? Can you find her?” He asked quietly.
Drusilla shook her head. “I can see her, but I don’t know how to find her, Spikey” She whined.
Spike pulled her to lean up against him in the car. “Shh, it’s alright. Maybe Cor can see her. Maybe she’s had a vision.” He tried to reassure her.
*****
Faith climbed off the bus and ran as fast as she could to Angel’s office. She was late. The bus had gotten stuck in Orange County and it had taken longer than it should have to get to Los Angeles. She only hoped she wasn’t too late. Cordelia hadn’t given her any specifics on the situation in LA when she had called, but she had a feeling she knew just what the problem was.
Faith had formed a strange alliance with the former cheerleader before she had moved to Los Angeles. They both cared deeply for Willow, and they both knew the whole truth about what had happened between Angelus and Willow. They also both knew that it was only a matter of time before Angel’s soul gave in and let his demon take control. It appeared that time had come.
Faith burst into the building and rode up the elevator impatiently. She could sense vampires around her. But considering Angel was a vampire that didn’t necessarily mean anything.
When she walked off of the elevator, she found herself face to face with the golden eyes of a vampire. The face shifted, and masked its true face.
“Faith! You got here.” Cordelia smiled as she gave the brunette slayer a hug.
“Cor. You look good. Dead, but good.” Faith smiled back.
“Slayer, so good of you to join us.”
Faith turned to the voice. “Angelus.”
End Part 19
Angelus chuckled. "Is this where we square off and kill each other?" He asked with a smirk. "My lovely childe here tells me that that would be in bad form." He motioned towards Cordelia. "Is she right?"
Faith shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. "You don’t try to add me to the lunch menu. I won’t slay you. We’re five by five."
Angelus laughed. This Slayer was amusing. He decided Cordelia was right. She would be an asset to his little family.
The smiled dies on Faith’s lips as she remembered why she had come. "Red’s missing. We need to find her."
"That we do, pet. That we do." Spike strode into the office, with Druscilla. He looked at his sire and grinned. "It’s good to have you back."
"Good to be back, my boy!" Angelus slapped Spike on the back, and then turned to Druscilla. "Dru baby, do you know where Willow is?"
Druscilla started shaking uncontrollably. "The nasty man has her. He wants to make her his." She wailed, and looked up at Angelus. "Daddy, he’s hurting mommy."
Angelus growled fiercely just as Cordelia collapsed onto the floor clutching her head.
"Cor? Are you alright?" Faith rushed over to the vampire.
Cordelia stood up and glared at her sire. "Why is it, that I am still getting these damn visions, even after I’m dead?" She snapped.
"What did you see?" He asked, ignoring her question while Spike fought the urge to laugh.
Cordelia headed towards the front door, not wanting to waste another second. "I saw Will. I know where she is."
The three vampires and Slayer followed Cordelia out into the night.
*****
Willow paced around the room angrily. She had been kidnapped. By some psycho who thought she belonged to him. The knowledge that Angelus had returned did little to comfort her. She knew that it was unlikely he knew where she was, and even if he did, she seriously doubted her host would invited an angry vampire into his house.
She growled to herself, as she thought about how stupid she had been. She knew better. She should have been more cautious. And now she was trapped, most likely spending her last days alive. She knew the bastard who had taken her expected her to acquiesce and do what she was told. But she also knew that Hell would have to freeze over… twice before she would give in.
She picked up a jewelry box which was sitting on top of the dresser and threw it angrily at the door, mere seconds before it opened.
Jonathan stared blankly at the jewelry box lying on the floor in two pieces. "Was that really necessary?" He asked her.
Willow looked at him defiantly, but didn’t speak, which only seemed to anger him.
"Listen here. You will answer me when I speak to you."
"Or what?" Willow asked, her voice raising slightly as her anger flared. "You’ll kill me? I really hope you do!"
Jonathon looked at her incredulously. "That’s crazy. Why would you possible want me to kill you?"
Willow took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. She looked up at her captor calmly before she spoke. "Because, we he finds you, and he will, your death will be slow and painful."
Leaving the door opened behind him, Jonathon took several deliberate steps towards Willow. When he had reached the bed, he grabbed her shoulders fiercely and threw her down on the bed.
As he leaned down to kiss her forcefully, Jonathon felt his body being thrown across the room. His head landed with a thud. When he had regained enough momentum to look up he found himself looking into the golden eyes of a very angry…creature. He wasn’t sure what it was. Certainly not human, but not animal either. He felt a wave of fear go through him, and promptly wet his pants.
"Don’t touch my mate!" Angelus snarled at the quivering youth. "I have tortured men for less." He leaned forwards and grasped the man's head with one hand while firmly apply pressure to his neck with the other. In a matter of seconds, the boy was lying in a pile on the floor, dead, his neck broken.
Angelus turned and rushed to Willow who was still lying on the bed, in shock.
"Are you all right?" He asked as his face melded back into that of the human mask.
"An…Angelus? Is it really you? Your… your soul?"
"It’s gone, baby." Angelus kissed her deeply, relishing in the feel of her warm lips against his cold ones.
"Mommy!" Druscilla ran into the room and hugged Willow tightly. Angelus growled at the separation Druscilla entrance had caused.
"Dru! What are you doing here?" Willow pulled herself away from the vampiress, and looked around the room.
Her eyes took in the three people standing in the doorway. First Spike, who was grinning at her. She had missed seeing him. And then Faith, who she was only slightly surprised to see. And finally, her eyes settled on Cordelia. She stood up, and detached herself from Druscilla and walked over to Cordelia, taking in her old friend’s appearance. When she was only an inch away from the girl, she turned back to Angelus. "You turned her." She said in awe. When he just smirked, she continued. "You didn’t kill her! You turned her!" She walked back to her mate and embraced him in a hug that would have taken his breath away, if he had any. "I love you." She whispered into his chest.
"I know. I missed you, Red."
"Not that this isn’t fascinating," Faith broke the reunion, "but shouldn’t we be leaving." When everyone turned to look at her, she laughed, "You know, places to go, people to kill?"
Cordelia grabbed the Slayer’s arm and took her outside, "Ooh that does sound like fun. Have anyone special in mind?"
*****
When Faith and Cordelia’s voices had drifted away, Willow turned to face the three vampires remaining in the room. "How did you find me?"
"Cor’s vision." Spike supplied as he took Drusilla’s hand. "C’Mon, pet." He led her out of the room before Willow could ask anymore questions.
Angelus picked Willow up and threw her over his shoulder, chuckling as she tried to wriggle free.
"Angelus! Let me go." She squealed.
"Never, Red. Never again."
*****
Several hours, and six orgasms later, Willow found herself sighing contently as she lay against her lovers unbeating chest.
"So, what happens now?" She asked softly.
Angelus thought carefully before he spoke. He had been too concerned about her safety to think about anything else. "What would like to do?" He asked, testing her.
"Jenny." She spoke clearly, without hesitation.
"The Gypsy." Angelus acknowledged. "When she finds out you’re back, she try and curse me again."
"Then we kill her." Willow pulled herself out of the vampire’s embrace.
"Are you sure?" He asked, wanted to make sure she didn’t have any doubts about what she was suggesting.
"Yes." Willow told him determinedly as she pulled on her jeans. "I’ve gone through hell, ever since… you went away. Now your back." She looked into his dark eyes; "I won’t lose you again. Not ever."
"Even if that means the deaths of people you care about?" He asked curiously. His witch had changed in the time he had been away.
"Cared." She corrected. "Things change. People change." She sighed, "I won’t lie to you. I have no desire to see Buffy dead, or Xander, or Giles. But if I had to chose between their deaths, and losing you again…" She trailed off as she felt a tear slide down her cheek. "I can’t. No, I won’t go through that again."
Angelus climbed out of bed and grabbed her, tilting her head so that she was looking at him. He wiped her tear with his thumb. He bent down and kissed her possessively.
There was a knock at the door, interrupting the lovers.
"What?" Angelus snarled as he broke away from Willow’s lips.
"You decent?" Faith asked from the other side of the door.
Willow grabbed Angelus’ robe and tossed him his pants.
"Never." Willow giggled as she opened the door, after Angelus had pulled his pants on.
Faith smirked. She was glad to see her friend happy again. It had been too long since she had seen her smile. "I hate to interrupt," She laughed when Willow quirked her eyebrow. "Okay, I don’t hate to interrupt. But I have to head back. B’s gonna be looking for me. And as much as I’d rather she didn’t find me. They’ll be looking for you. We don’t need them coming here."
Willow nodded and turned to Angelus, asking a silent question. When he turned and headed towards the bathroom, leaving Willow alone with the Slayer.
"Faith, I want to thank you."
"For what, Red?" Faith asked, confused.
"For coming here. Trying to help." She paused, "For not telling the other’s that Angelus is back."
Faith smirked. "What makes you think I won’t?" She laughed at Willow’s raised eyebrow.
Willow’s expression grew serious. "Don’t tell them we’re coming."
"Don’t worry Red. You’re dirty little secret is safe."
Willow hugged Faith and smiled as the Slayer left.
"So, we leave tomorrow, then?" Angelus asked from behind her as he wrapped his arms around her.
Willow nodded as she leaned into his chest.
"Tomorrow the gypsy dies."
End Part 20