Sanctuary

Author: Laney

Parts: 11 - 20

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~Part: 11~

When I finally pulled myself together, I pulled away to look at her neck. " Are you ok? "

Everyone was quiet. I had never lost it in front of the pack before, but I was past caring. I was surprised I was able to say a sentence. I was absolutely devastated.

" I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me, he just scared me. " Fred gave me a smile that I didn’t understand. " I knew you wouldn’t let him hurt me."

Shit.

Wesley grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

" Why don’t we go into Angel’s office? The pack need to transform again. " I suggested. I turned to the pack, before I went into his office. " I want twenty wolves around the hotel. There will be an attack soon, I need warning guys. "

Twenty wolves exited the hotel while the remainder stayed. The second I closed the door to Angel’s office I heard shifting. It wasn’t that I wanted them away from the wolves while they changed back into human form, I just didn’t want them to be faced with that many naked bodies.

They were all around Fred, making sure they were ok. I’d never felt more isolated and alone in my life. Kane had made sure they would never trust me again.

I was stunned when Cordelia threw her arms around me. " Thank you. "

Huh?

" I thought he was going to kill Fred, if you hadn’t talked him out of it…." She shuddered. " Thank you. "

Angel was next, pulling me into his arms. " I’m sorry. "

He was sorry? What? Huh?

Oh.

Guess Kane had underestimated Angel and his team. He wasn’t the only one. How could I have forgotten who I was dealing with? Angel would never hold me responsible for what had just happened, in fact, he probably realised how much pain this had caused me.

The door to the office opened and Joseph walked in some time later. He walked to Fred first, checking her for any wounds. He whispered something into her ear and she nodded. Joseph held himself as responsible as I held myself. Then to my surprise, he went to Cordelia and hugged her, whispering something into her ear as well. She clung to him like he was a lifeline.

Finally, he pulled away and walked over to me. We both had tears in our eyes when he held me, both our hearts had broken. Without Kane in the pack, my power base was not big enough to beat Blake. Joseph knew that too.

I was going to die.

" What happened? " Angel wanted to know. He and his team had taken their seats, and Joseph and I were leaning on the desk.

" Kane betrayed us. " Joseph replied. " I don’t know how deep the betrayal is, but his actions were meant to kill Willow. "

" Kill Willow? " Angel was alarmed.

Joseph looked to me for permission, I nodded. " Willow has been weakened from the recent battles. When Gunn interfered in the challenge yesterday, Willow had an opportunity to increase her chances of survival as well as an opportunity to save Gunn. She took it. Taking you all on as pack would increase her power base, especially Angel. She was going to bond with you so she could share your power. With your power, she would have a good chance to win. "

" Kane didn’t want that. " I continued. " By taking Fred hostage he annulled that. You no longer have to be pack, or bond with me. We take this sort of thing seriously. Gunn has been absolved of all guilt and you are all free. No pack, no bonding. I ask that you not hold my pack responsible, if we had any idea of what he was thinking, we would have stopped him. We’ll be out of the hotel as soon as we know you aren’t in any more danger. " I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t going to cry.

Angel stood up. " Wait a minute. No one is going anywhere. What you’re saying is that Kane did this so you would lose in a fight against Blake? "

I nodded.

" Bonding with me would have helped you win? "

I nodded.

Joseph, to my horror, addressed Angel. " Kane is no longer a part of the pack, which meant that Willow can’t draw power from him. She will not win against Blake. "

Angel sat back down stunned.

" There is a chance. "

What was he doing? " Joseph, no. "

I had been expecting this. Joseph loved me heart and soul, I always thought he was in love with me, but lately, especially after the little exchange between him and Cordelia, I was thinking he loved me like a sister.

" What chance? " Angel ignored me.

Joseph took a deep breath. " You and your pack could choose to merge with ours. Voluntarily. You could still bond with Willow, and she’d have a chance at winning. "

" No. " I protested. " It’s too dangerous, I won’t ask them to do that. "

" Willow, you know damn well Kane won’t stop at this. Angel and his team are in as much danger as us. This way, we can protect them and you. Hell, all of us have a chance if Angel agrees. " He yelled at me. " If you die, we all die. Have you forgotten that Kane was the third in our plan of attack? "

" Plan of attack? " Gunn asked, interested.

" If Willow ever lost in a battle, I was to challenge immediately after her death. It would be unlikely I would win, but Kane was to challenge after I died. That way, the pack would remain safe. We’re all fucked Willow. We’re all dead. Angel and his team are too. "

I shook my head. " No, Angel and his team will have a better chance of survival. If they’re not considered a threat, then they might be left alone. "

" What about Wesley? Kane will hunt him down. " Joseph pointed out.

Cordelia spoke this time. " Why would he hunt Wesley down? "

" Because he’s a werewolf. " Gunn replied.

Joseph and I stopped arguing, Wesley looked surprised.

" I figured it out when you healed him. " Gunn told us. " The way you were looking at him…….I just guessed. "

" Oh god. " Fred put her hand on Wesley in a reassuring gesture.

I looked down in shame. " I’m sorry, I……we can infect by a scratch and I accidentally scratched him before the other wolf did. He’s mine, which makes him more vulnerable. "

Angel wasn’t looking at me. " We’ll do it. "

" Angel, you can’t make this decision for everyone, it has to be a mutual decision. " Joseph told him.

" I’m in. " Cordelia barely waited for Joseph to finish his sentence.

" Count me in. " Gunn declared.

" Me too. " Fred was the last, but the most enthusiastic to agree.

I on the other hand, was crying. Really crying. Sobbing hysterically. They would do this for me? Oh god, I had never felt……. I wanted to hug and kiss everyone of them, but Joseph put his hand on my arm.

Joseph had a strange look on his face. " Angel, the pack and I have talked about this and we are willing to give you something in return for your help. You don’t have to accept, neither does Willow. "

I had no idea what he was up to.

" What? " Angel asked somewhat suspiciously.

What ever it was, it was difficult for Joseph to say. " Willow. We agree to accept you as Willow’s mate. That is, if Willow agrees and you love her. "

I fell off the desk.

" The curse? " I asked as Joseph helped me back to my feet.

" Doesn’t matter. Kane already mentioned that the bonding ritual will bond your soul to Angel’s, his soul will be permanent. " Joseph looked me in the eye. " Do you agree, Willow? We’ll never force a mate on you. I kind of guessed he was the reason you wouldn’t take one before now, so did the rest of the pack. Angel has shown loyalty and care for the pack that is desirable for someone who is to be your mate. "

" I agree. "

" Do you love him? " Joseph needed to be sure, he’d never force me into anything.

I was still crying. " Yes. "

He kissed me on the cheek, then turned to Angel. " Remember, this is a gift. You have a choice, only do this if you love her. No one will be upset if you say no. Do you agree? "

My heart was practically pounding out of my chest. There was a chance Angel wouldn’t agree to this. I’d be able to deal with it, but it would hurt having him near me.

" Yes. "

Yes? He said yes? Really?

" You love her? "

" Yes. "

I wondered how much this had cost Joseph and the pack. " So be it. "

Angel would be my mate as soon as the challenge was over.

I just had to win.

~Part: 12~

I met with each of their eyes, making sure just one last time before I bonded us forever, that this was what they wanted. They all seemed a little buzzed from drinking my blood, you could say they looked a bit tipsy.

Especially Cordy.

She hadn’t stopped giggling since she drank my blood. I’ve never bonded with a non-wolf, so I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. They still seemed happy, and not just from my blood, which meant I could take the last step. Even if my mind was screaming no.

I was forgetting something, it had been nagging me for the last few hours, when we began setting up for the ritual. It was right there, right in front of me, I just couldn’t work out what I wanted to remember. I had this eerie feeling that I wasn’t supposed to remember……not yet.

I lifted the Chalice that held all of their blood, Angel, Gunn, Wes, Cordy and Fred, to my mouth. I gave Joseph the nod to go ahead.

" The blood will bind your souls eternally together, death will not separate, only betrayal. You are one, to be loved, protected. Forever. "

I drank the blood in one go, like you’re supposed to. It flowed through my veins with a potency I hadn’t expected. There was darkness, pain, fear but beneath it all was light……and then power. Such power that I wasn’t prepared when it infiltrated my own blood.

" Willow? " Joseph sounded a little worried.

His worry made sense because I was in the floor doubled over in pain. Not severe pain, just a pain sharp enough to keep me from standing. I didn’t really give a damn about the pain at the moment, what I was focused on was the jumbled images that passed in front of my eyes.

Flashes…..like a……

" Oh god. " I cried out.

" What’s happening? " Angel yelled.

I felt Joseph beside me. " I’m not sure, this has never happened before."

" Willow, are you all……"

My head snapped up. " Get out of the circle. " The ritual was over, and I think I had enough time.

" What? "

" NOW. They’re on their way. " I yelled as I got to my feet. I knew what I was had forgotten earlier. Cordelia’s visions. Which was what I had moments ago. Damn it all to hell, not only did I bond myself to Cordelia…….I bonded myself to The Powers That Be.

God damn it.

" What are you talking about? " Angel was beside himself with worry.

I didn’t have time to explain, so I pushed them all out of the circle, then muttered a few words in Latin that closed them out and me in. I needed them to get ready. " A pack of wolves, about a hundred are on their way to the hotel. They’re going to kill us. "

That wasn’t the worst of it.

" You had a vision. " Cordelia was the first to realise. " Oh god, you’ve taken my visions. "

" No. " I hastily explained. " It was because of your blood I received the vision, it won’t be a regular thing. The vision had been meant for me. " Of all the stupid fucking idiotic things to do. Why the hell didn’t any of us remember about that? I was absolutely certain of what I had just told Cordelia. She hadn’t meant to receive the vision because she wouldn’t have understood it, and she wouldn’t have been able to warn me in time.

" Wolves, get ready. Protect the humans. " Joseph yelled and awaited for me to tell him the rest of what was happening.

I took a calming breath. " It’s only wolves, not Kane and Blake. "

" Kane and Blake? " Joseph went white.

" They’re working together, listen, I need you all to do exactly what I tell you. No arguments. " They all nodded. " Kane and Blake are going to attack me magically, which was why I need the circle. I can’t let their magic get you too. We have ten minutes at the most. "

" Shit. "

" If I go down. " I silenced their protests with a raised hand. " If I die, I need you all to scatter, then call everyone who owes me. Joseph, call Luke in England and get him to bring Giles over with him and his pack. We’re going to need the backing of the watchers council behind us. Angel, I need you to call Buffy and get her and the Scooby’s over here. Including Spike. We need the force. Wesley, try to find Faith, I know she got parole a year or so ago, and get her here. She knows what I am, so she will come. Gunn, call your team. As much as I hate humans involved, we’re going to need them. If one of you dies, someone must take the instructions I’ve given and carry them out. And before you ask Angel, I know everything. I’ve been trailing you and Buffy for the last few years. Sorry. "

Joseph nodded. " You won’t lose, draw our strength. "

" No rules, Joseph. They want us all dead, so fight for life, not honour." I dismissed him and turned to Angel and his team. " Cordy, Fred, Gunn and Wes, get upstairs and hide. Wesley, if someone finds you, change into your wolf and attack, that should give them enough time to get away. Go. NOW. " They ran up the stairs.

Angel watched them go, then he turned to me. " All this time you’ve been following me? "

" I had to protect you. I’m sorry. Angel, I need you to fight along side my pack. I can’t send you away. "

" I wouldn’t have went anyway. " He told me honestly. " Willow, don’t die. "

" Not planning to. " I gave him the signal to get ready and he turned from me. " Angel! "

He spun around.

" I love you. " I needed to say the words to him before anything happened to either one of us.

" I love you too. " He turned to get ready for battle.

I felt guilty, perhaps I should have asked Cordelia what the visions meant, did they all come true, or could we change them? In this vision, my wolves were dying, we lost and weren’t able to stop Blake’s wolves. We had been caught unawares. That hadn’t been the worst of the vision. There was one part of the vision I couldn’t tell them.

I had died.

I took a deep breath, I was in serious shit. Kane could kick my ass magically, maybe with the extra strength I had, I’d be able to stop the attacks and live. This wasn’t an Alpha battle, this was an attack to the death. The death of all of us. They didn’t care any more. They wanted me and my pack out of the way……..no survivors.

It was timed perfectly, as soon as I heard the wolves crashing through the doors and windows of the hotel, I felt the magic enter the room and come straight to me.

I cried out in pain as it tried to invade my body. It was much more powerful than I had anticipated and it took everything I had to keep it from breeching my wards. I sent power back, hoping it would at least deter them, but it failed miserably.

Two against one, Kane and Blake had joined to attack me, which meant I had to draw on the strength of the wolves.

I deflected the next attack easily, and I felt the magic ebb a little. I felt elated, I was strong enough to defeat them with the power I had taken from my pack. I chanced a glance to my wolves and didn’t like what I saw.

They were fighting like hell, and losing. Their strength was diminished because I was drawing on them. I didn’t have time to think of what to do because another attack had started. This time, I deflected it with a little difficulty.

Shit. My magic wasn’t strong enough to last against continuous attacks like this, and my pack was suffering as a consequence. What the hell was I going to do? We couldn’t lose, all of us would die if I died.

Movement over head drew my eyes to the top of the stairs, and to Cordelia, Fred and Gunn who were running towards us. A wolf was close on their tail. A wolf that wasn’t Wesley.

" Improvo. " I sent a beam of energy to the wolf, knocking it off the stairs. Cordelia sent me a grateful look and the three of them huddled away from the main battle.

We were going to lose.

There was a chance I could live, if I kept drawing on their strength, but then they would die because I wouldn’t be able to save them in time. I was supposed to protect them, not sacrifice them.

If I died, would they really die? Maybe, but at least they’d have a chance. I deflected another magic attack. That was a little too close for comfort. I was growing weaker by the minute.

I had to decide what to do now. I would die if I didn’t draw their strength, or they would die if I did. It wasn’t much of a choice really. What was the use of me living if they weren’t? They were my family and my mate. I didn’t want to die, I really didn’t. Angel and I were supposed to be mated, but he would die too and that was something I couldn’t live with.

I would live by the law I have always lived by during the past five years. Pack comes first.

I focused all of my energies on the links I had with all of the pack, trying to remember them all, the feel of them. Would I remember them after all of this? When I was dead, would I remember what it was like being their Alpha? Or how it felt when Angel said he loved me?

I shook my head, the next attack against me would be soon, I didn’t have much time. I focused again, then I sent everything I had to them. All my strength, power and magic.

" Willow! " Joseph screamed out my name. He felt the surge of power and knew what it meant. " What are you doing? "

Angel hit the wolf closest to him and was surprised when it flew clear across the room. " What was that? "

Joseph stormed over to the circle. " Willow’s giving us her power. "

Angel froze. " She’ll die. " He ran to the circle. " Willow, please, don’t do this. Please, I’m begging you. Fight. Please. "

He was crying.

" Willow, No! " Cordelia this time, she managed to take out a wolf in human form and understood what this was.

I’d done it for them more than I did it for my pack. Cordelia, Fred and Gunn were human, they were to be protected and cherished.

" It’s ok, really. " Like hell it was, I didn’t want to die. All this talk about feeling at peace when you knew you were going to die was absolute bullshit. I was shit scared. " Tell Buffy, I’m sorry. "

" No! " He screamed.

I’ve never seen Angel this upset, but it was the right thing to do. In the minute since I gave my pack the rest of my strength, they had begun to win against Blake’s pack. They were going to live.

" I love you all. " I told them, then I braced myself. I felt the magic fill the room. My heart was pounding and I was terrified. All this self sacrifice was Buffy’s job, not mine. I was a monster and monsters didn’t do this.

Joseph was screaming now. " Just hold on Willow, just hold them off. We’ve nearly beaten them, then you can win. "

I couldn’t look at them any more, it was too painful. I screamed in agony as I felt Blake and Kane invaded me. It was a pain so horrible that I was suddenly begging for death. I could feel their hatred and anger as they began to tear at everything that was inside me, they ripped at the bonds that linked me to my wolves and destroyed them easily.

I cried out as I felt something else invade me. Something not Kane and Blake. I had no idea what it was, but it was more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt. I was beyond fighting it, Kane and Blake had already done so much damage that I wouldn’t be able to fight an ant if I wanted to. What ever this thing was, it was infinitely more powerful than Kane and Blake, it attacked with such power that I wasn’t able to hold on any more. It hurt too much and I couldn’t win against what ever it was.

Everything went black.

~Part: 13~

My eyes filled with tears as I saw who was standing in front of me, I was filled with joy, sadness, shame and fear. I knew if I wasn’t in this much shock, I’d be on the floor in hysterics right now.

" I can’t…."

He smiled at me in the exact way I remembered him doing, a sweet smile that always had my heart filling with love. God, I missed him so much. " Hey. "

I laughed. Trust him to greet me like that. " Hey. "

He took one step toward me and I was suddenly in his arms, holding him so tight that I thought I’d break a rib. How long had I been waiting for this day? To see him like this?

My sweet beautiful Oz.

Finally, he pulled away from me. " They thought you’d cope better if it was someone you know. " He said cryptically.

" So I’m really……" I couldn’t say the words…..my heart broke completely. I was dead.

" Dead? " Oz finished. " No. You’re just here while The Powers That Be heal you. "

What did he just say?

" You’re alive, just in a coma. "

Can we get back to The Powers That Be saving me? Wait, there was one more important thing I needed to know. " My pack, are they ok? "

Oz looked at me, a strange look in his eyes. " They’re alive. Three of them died, but the rest will be fine. "

" Angel and his team? "

" Alive and well. "

I noticed for the first time, I wasn’t in the hotel any more. I was in the forest near my home. In the exact spot I often went to think. " Are you sure I’m not dead? "

He laughed. " I’m sure. This is your favourite spot, I thought that….. you know. "

I did know. He brought me here because he knew this was a place I always felt completely safe……which wasn’t exactly what I was feeling right now. The shock of seeing Oz was being replaced with fear and apprehension. " Oz, what’s going on? What do you mean, The Powers That Be are healing me? I don’t……oh god. That thing…… that thing that entered me, that was the Powers? "

He nodded and motioned for me to sit down on the ground and I did, this was getting a little too much. " You’re linked to the Powers That Be, you know that right? "

" Right…..hang on. How do I know that you’re not some sort of trick from Blake? "

" All monkeys are French. " He said without missing a beat.

" Please, continue. " I couldn’t help but smile, it was my Oz all right.

He smiled right back at me. " I’ve missed you Will. "

Tears filled my eyes, and I looked down mostly in shame. " Do you know everything? What I did? What I became? " It took all my courage to look at him, when I did, he gave me a slight nod. " I… I’m not exactly sorry I did it. Killing you…..I will never let that go unpunished Oz, but one good things came out of it. My pack. "

He waited for me to go on.

" You would have loved them Oz, they’re sweet, beautiful wonderful people. All of them. I wish you would have met Joseph. You and he would have gotten on so well……Kane would have liked you too. Oh, and Regan…." Oz put a hand on my knee. " Sorry. I…..do you hate me? "

" Will, I could never hate you. "

Part of me really wanted to believe him, but the other part of me was terrified he was only saying that. I was a monster.

" You’re not a monster. " His voice brooked no room for argument.

" You’re not reading my mind are you? "

" I didn’t have to. I’ve been watching you from time to time, whenever they allowed me. " Oz confessed. " I missed you too much. "

I looked down in shame once again. " Oz, there is something I have to…."

" You and Angel huh? "

" You know, I’m really thinking you’re reading my mind here. " I wasn’t angry, the opposite in fact, I was giggling. Then my face grew sombre. " I never stopped loving you. "

" I know. "

" But you love Angel now, I understand. I want you to be happy. You do love him right? Really love him? "

" With my heart and soul. " Well this was almost as bad as having my heart ripped out of my chest. Telling your murdered boyfriend that you moved on. God, this was a new kind of hell. " I’m sorry. "

" Don’t be. You deserve all the happiness you can get. " Oz assured me. " You and Angel are meant to be together. "

It was something in the way he said it that caught my attention. " What do you mean? Meant to be together? "

" Will, the Powers have been watching you for a while. "

I freaked. " What? Oh god, I’m being punished aren’t I? For killing those wolves? Oh god. I knew it. I’m going to be like Angel aren’t I? Doing my penance or whatever for everything I’ve done? "

" Chill. "

I did.

Instead of continuing, Oz moved so I was sitting between his legs and he was leaning against a tree. He put his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I closed my eyes and tried to memorise everything that I was feeling. I was with Oz, in……well, I wasn’t sure where I was. It looked like my forest, but it could be heaven for all I knew, seeing him alive and beautiful. If I wasn’t meant to be dead, then I wanted to remember this forever, it would replace the memory of his death.

" This is nice. "

" Hmmm…" He agreed.

" How long have we got? " I couldn’t help but ask. " I mean, I’m not staying with you now, am I? "

" No, Will. As much as I want you with me, you can’t stay. You’re needed somewhere else. " Oz kissed the top of my head.

I smiled. " I love you. "

I felt him smile. " I love you too. "

" Oz, tell me what’s going on? "

He sighed. " You have to make a choice Will. "

" A live or die choice? " I really hated those.

" Kind of, but I am not allowed to influence you, one way or the other. The Powers want to make sure that this is your own decision. Once you’ve made the choice, you can’t go back. "

" Oh. " I really didn’t like the sound of this. " OK, what’s the choice? "

Oz turned me around to look at him, his eyes were so gentle and caring that I couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him. It was a gentle kiss that I would never forget. " Your loyalty. You have to decide, who you are loyal too. Angel and the Powers That Be, or your Pack. "

My heart slammed into my chest. " What? I don’t….."

" Relax Will. You will be returned to everyone once you’ve made the choice. You won’t be punished for it in anyway. You will still be Alpha of your pack, you will still be Angels mate. Once you made the choice, things will be clear. "

Oh god, this was some kind of joke. " They really want me to decide, now? "

Oz nodded, but he had a smirk on his face. " Now, but I think you already know the answer. "

I waited a heart beat and told him my answer. Then, he told me what it meant.

~Part: 14~

I moved in the bed slightly, testing to see if my body was as sore as I suspected it to be. Yep, it sure was. Not sore as though I was injured, but sore as if I had ran a marathon. I opened my eyes slowly, the room was only slightly dark and I was not alone. My pack were nearby, some of them at least. I could sense the pack through the bonds, I was surprised to find, fully intact. I could also feel others.

My eyes adjusted to the amount of light in the room. Allowing me to see exactly who was in the room with me. Angel was sleeping in a chair next to my bed, his expression was of absolute heartbreak. Leaning against Angel was Cordelia, sleeping with her head pillowed on his shoulder. Fred was next to Cordelia, she wasn’t lying on Cordy, but she was holding her hand while leaning against Gunn. Gunn had his arms around Fred with one hand resting on Cordelia. I couldn’t help but smile.

I rolled my head to see who was on the other side of the bed. My heart fluttered when it saw Buffy, Dawn, Giles and Xander all huddled together. Buffy and Xander were either side of Giles, both sleeping on him. Dawn was sleeping on Buffy and next to her was the blonde witch who worked with Buffy. Next to her was……..Spike?

Just how long had I been out?

I turned back to my pack. All of them had trouble expressions on their faces. I wondered if their sleeping arrangement was a side effect of the bonding. Even as they slept I could feel their pain. They were hurting because of me.

I reached out and touched Angel’s hand. I never thought the two of us would ever be together…….that he would love me enough to want to be my mate. His hand moved and grabbed mine. I looked up.

The heartbreak on his face was gone, in it’s place was pure relief. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. " Willow. " He said my name with such awe that I felt my heart skip a beat.

" Angel. " I whispered his name back. I didn’t want to wake the others, I wanted us to have this time.

He frowned as he realised that he was relatively stuck. If he moved, he’d wake Cordelia and any chance we had to just be us would be gone. " I can’t…." He motioned to Cordelia.

" Are you guys all right? " They looked fine, but I always liked hearing it from the horses….er….vampires mouth.

" We’re all ok. " He looked at me carefully. " Are you all right? How do you….."

I squeezed his hand. " I feel sore, my head hurts but aside from that I’m of the good. Where are J….."

Angel cut me off. " At the house, He and W thought it would be safer for everyone if they weren’t here when……."

Oh. So Joseph and Wesley jumped ship when the Slayer arrived? Did that mean she didn’t know about me? " Does she know what I am? "

" No. " Angel told me. " I thought you would want to be the one to tell her. "

If she didn’t know me, then she didn’t know about the pack. That was good. In fact, I felt extremely relieved about it. I couldn’t understand why.

" Do you need a doctor? "

I shook my head. " No. I’ll be fine in a few hours or so. " Possibly less than that, my body was already feeling stronger. Oh, of course. Vampire and Werewolf healing, god, I’d be healed in no time. Yay for the monsters. That thought triggered a memory. " I had a really strange dream. "

" A nightmare? "

" No. A normal dream, Oz was in it and he asked me a question. "

" What question? "

" I can’t remember, but I know it was important. I think it had something to do……"

" Willow? " Cordelia’s sleepy voice whispered my name.

I extracted my hand from Angel’s and reached for Cordelia. She grabbed my hand and held it tight. Her eyes filled with tears, she looked kind of confused but I understood. She wasn’t used to being pack, none of them were. They were connected to me in such a way that if anything happened to me, it would hurt them more than they could possibly imagine. " I’m ok. " I assured her.

" Thank god. I was so worried. " Cordelia moved from the chair onto the bed. She moved around me to lay on one side and Angel layed on the other.

I was stunned. How much of my wolf instincts had they inherited?

Both of them were touching me, running their hands over me as if to see if I was really real.

" Just for the record, I’m not gay. " Cordelia whispered into my ear.

Angel and I giggled.

" Willow? " Fred and Gunn were sitting up, watching us. Fred waited two seconds before launching herself on the bed, hugging me so tight I wondered if she was drawing on my strength. " I’m so happy you’re ok. "

I looked over Fred’s shoulder to see Gunn watching us. He was fighting the bond. I didn’t think he would accept what this meant very well. Fred moved from me and I held my hand out to him. To my surprise he took it, squeezed it awkwardly then let it go. He needed me to touch him, but he wasn’t ready for the full extent of it. I felt guilty.

" Are you ok? " He asked.

" I’m good. "

He let out a long breath. We had to talk, he wasn’t adjusting well. He needed some time alone with me, so we could talk, get to know each other.

" Ok, guy. " Angel broke the moment. " Willow doesn’t need to be smothered by us. Why don’t we give her some………"

Some what? Angel had a strange expression on his face, he was looking at something.

Oh.

Oh no. I slowly turned around and looked passed Cordelia. Buffy, Giles, Xander, Dawn, the witch and Spike were all watching us. Crap, crap. This was not good, especially with the in bed with Willow thing that was happening. I should have asked them what story they had given Buffy, since she didn’t know about the pack, it could be anything.

Cordelia moved without me asking her too, but I noticed she sat behind Angel, who hadn’t moved and who wouldn’t move unless he had to. I felt the tingle I usually feel when my pack access my power. It doesn’t hurt, it’s like butterflies in my stomach.

My pack….the pack here. Angel, Cordelia, Fred and Gunn were drawing on my power because they felt I might be in danger.

Wow.

" Hi guys. " God, that was incredibly lame.

Buffy was the first to move, practically leaping on the bed and pulling me into a slayers embrace. That god I was strong enough to take it. She was sobbing uncontrollably when I felt two more arms go around me.

Xander.

I couldn’t help it, the tears began to fall without meaning too. God, I’d really missed all of them. I looked beyond Buffy and met Giles’ eyes. He smiled broadly and nodded to me in the Giles way I always remembered.

" Hey, I want to hug her too. " Dawn complained.

Buffy and Xander reluctantly released me and I found myself with an arm full of an eighteen year old Dawn. " Hey Dawnie. " I kissed the top of her head.

Finally she pulled away and Giles stood awkwardly, I knelt on the bed, so I wasn’t much shorter than Giles and I opened my arms. He held almost as tightly as the Slayer had.

" Welcome back, Willow. " He whispered.

I was too upset to speak, so I just gave him a little squeeze. When he pulled away, he placed a gentle kiss on my fore head. I slipped my arms around his neck at hugged him just one last time.

That’s when I heard the gasp.

Several of them actually, one ‘bloody hell’ and a couple of ‘Oh my gods’.

The lamp had been switched on in the room during my hugging episode, making the room a lot brighter than it already was. I removed my arms from Giles and sat down on the bed again. Everyone was staring at me with horror filled expressions. They were staring at me, more importantly at my side.

The side were my scar was.

Oh god. They’d seen it.

" What happened? " Buffy lifted my shirt, and inspected my scar.

It was of my first attack, of the attack when I had been infected. Our first bite or scratch would never heal. The rest did, but never that one. Mine was especially bad. I had been completely mauled.

It was a miracle I survived.

I felt Angel’s hand on my back. " It’s ok. "

" OK? " Buffy yelled.

I smiled sadly. " It was a long time ago, Buffy. " Did Angel tell them about Oz?

" What happened? " She asked in her Slayer voice.

" I was bitten. "

" By what? " Xander had moved to get a better look at my scar.

There was no way I was going to tell them this without making it easier somehow. I motioned for them all to sit down on the bed next to me. The witch and Spike were watching from the corner of the room.

" Hello Spike. " I felt the need to greet him, after all. He was my mates grandchilde.

His face was as disturbed as the others. Spike really was one of the good guys.……well kind of. I knew all about the chip, his helping the Slayer, falling in love with the Slayer and having his heart broken. I also know that when the slayer was dead, he had protected Dawn and the others. Still, it was strange seeing him close up, especially since the last time I saw him he tried to kill me and Xander.

" Hi Pet. "

Giles cleared his throat. " It’s ok, Willow. Spike won’t hurt you, he had a chip put in his head a couple of years ago, making it impossible to hurt humans. "

Spike frowned and I silently cursed myself. He would know that I wasn’t feeling any fear towards him. I didn’t know what Angel had told Buffy about what happened, so I couldn’t really say why I felt no fear.

Angel, to my despair, remained silent.

Shit.

I felt a sort of……not a bond, but a connection to Spike that I could only explain as being a by-product of my bonding with Angel. I had some of the vampire blood line in my blood, so I felt Spike because he was of the same line.

Uh-oh.

Dawn jumped up suddenly. " This is Tara, she’s a witch. "

" Hi Tara. "

She smiled shyly. " H..hi. "

Well, now that the introductions are done, I had to tell them about my ‘condition’. I really didn’t like this. I really wished Joseph was here, he always knew how to say stuff like this. Speaking of Joseph. " Cordy, could you um….." I mouthed the words ‘call Joseph’ to her.

She got it straight away. " Of course, you must be so hungry. I’ll get you something to eat and drink. " She hesitated slightly.

" I’ll be ok. " I assured her and then she was gone.

I turned back to Buffy and the gang. " Did Angel tell you about Oz? "

Giles was the one who answered. " He told us, we’re very sorry. "

" What did you tell them Angel? " Thank god that I had an opening to ask what he told them. At least now I wouldn’t contradict him.

Angel moved to sit next to me. " I told them Oz had died, I didn’t tell them anything else. I thought you would want to be the one to tell them how he died and where you’ve been. "

" Yeah, " Xander agreed rather unhappily. " He wouldn’t tell us much of anything except that you showed up here two days before you were attacked a week ago. Deadboy didn’t even tell us who attacked you. "

A whole week? I was unconscious for a week. I took a calming breath. " We were attacked by one werewolf when we were camping. " I lied, not about the werewolf thing, about the one part.

Xander went green.

Buffy’s eyes filled with horror. " That bite? You were bitten by a werewolf? "

" Yes, Buffy. " I hurried on before they panicked. " I’m ok though, honest. I survived and learned to deal with being a werewolf. I met some others like me in…..Tibet, a wizard told me about the retreat, where others like me could live in harmony with nature. I stayed there, learned to control my wolf. " My heart was pounding furiously. Not out of fear of their reaction, but because I was scared they would see through the load of bullshit I just fed them.

" That’s where you’ve been this whole time? "

" Yes, until a little while ago, then I came back. " Yep, I could still do vague.

They sat back stunned as they took in the news.

" But you’re ok? " Xander needed to know.

My heart was still pounding and I was sweating slightly. " Yes, I’m fine. The attack a couple of days ago was from a wolf who didn’t like me. It’s over done with, everything is ok. I promise. "

Buffy nodded, accepting my story. Everyone did, except one person.

Spike.

He could tell I was lying.

~Part: 15~

" Willow….."

It had been a couple of hours since I woke up. Buffy and the gang had gone out to get me some clothes to wear and some ‘real food’ since Cordelia hadn’t been able to offer me anything but blood. It left time for Angel and I to be alone.

I sat down on Angel’s bed, wrapped in only a towel, from the shower I just had. I had a fair idea what Angel wanted to talk to me about. " I know, I know. " I groaned.

" He won’t let this lie. " I knew who he was referring to. Spike. " He won’t stop till he finds out what secret you’re keeping from all of us. "

Oh, well that’s something at least. " He only thinks I’m keeping the secret, so he won’t put any pressure on you guys. "

Angel sat down next to me. " Will, I’ll protect you as much as I can, but he doesn’t exactly listen to me, so I can’t promise he won’t try to get you to cave. "

" Leave Spike to me, Angel. I’ve handled worse. " It was meant to reassure him, but it only served to make him feel worse.

" I don’t know what bothers me more. That you want to handle this yourself, or that I believe you can handle it. " My look told him he needed to explain. " I’ve been talking to Joseph quite a bit, getting updates about the pack. "

I was touched.

" He didn’t say give any particular details, but he hinted that you have been through things a lot worse than the fight with Kane and Blake. " Angel continued. " I’m not sure how I feel about it. My instinct is to protect you, but after what Joseph told me, I don’t think you need it. "

What could I say?

He sighed. " When I look at you, I see the Willow I remember. I can’t get used to knowing that you have an army of warriors at your disposal. "

" I wouldn’t say at my disposal. " I said finally. " Some Alpha’s use their packs that way, to increase their power or in some worse cases to use and abuse. I only ask them to fight when I feel they are in danger or that we need to protect something. They’re not warriors, not like you Angel. We don’t fight for the greater good. We fight for what we feel is right……what I feel is right, I guess. " We fight mainly, to protect ourselves.

" Now we’re apart of that. " He didn’t sound too pleased.

" Angel, the same rules apply as they did when I first said you were pack. You can stay here, live your own lives. The wolves won’t interfere with your duty to the Powers That Be. We respect it and won’t do anything that would make you regret joining us. " Something compelled me to go on. " I won’t command your team, Angel. I may be Alpha, but your team is your pack. They belong with us, but they will never be forced to choose between us and their loyalty to you. "

He was relieved. " Good….I mean….."

" I understand Angel. " I had that same compulsion to speak. " It goes both ways though Angel. You are my mate….or will be, but you won’t ever rule over my pack. You’re my equal, but I can’t change the fact that you’re a vampire. It’s against every law we have to let something that is not wolf rule us. My pack will listen to you, they’ll respect and love you and your team, but they won’t obey you like they do me. We’ll go on with our lives like we do now. Our battles will be ours, your battles will be yours. " I didn’t like the sound of that, but it felt right saying it.

Neither did Angel. " So you’re saying that I have to stand by and let you fight without me? "

" No. " I reached up and touched his face. " I’m saying, that you can’t interfere in pack business. I know you guys are pack, but your loyalty is to the Powers, not us. "

" I understand, I think. " He said begrudgingly. " I don’t like it. "

Such was life. " I don’t like that you guys have to fight demons at the beck and call of The Powers, but I accept it. " I suddenly felt the need to give him an out. This was a lot for him to take, when Joseph offered me to him, Angel had no idea what he was getting in to. " Angel, I’ll understand if you change your mind about being my mate. It won’t be easy for either of us. No one will blame you for backing out. I’m not exactly the girl you imagined you’d end up with, I’m not Buffy, I’m not a warrior for the Powers…….I’m a werewolf with seventy children. "

" One hundred. " He corrected me.

" One hundred what? "

" Wolves, you’ve increased your pack. "

Oh. Wow. Wait a second. " Angel, I’m giving you a chance to back out, don’t change the subject. "

" I’m not. "

" Yes you are. Mentioning my pack is definite change of subject " I argued.

" No. " He took my face between his hands. " I mean I’m not backing out. Willow, I love you. I don’t care how much trouble it causes. I am not letting you go. " He leaned in to kiss me.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. It was a gentle kiss that had my legs turning to jelly. He pulled away from me, searching my eyes for any sign that I didn’t want this to continue. " I don’t want to back out either. " I told him.

It was all he needed. He leaned in again and kissed me. It wasn’t gentle like the first, it was far more passionate. He was devouring me, there was no other way I could put it…..and I was giving as good as I got.

Oh lord, could this man kiss.

I moved so I could get closer to him and found he was doing the same thing. Our bodies were craving each other, and if it were possible, we’d crawl into each others skin. His tongue invaded my mouth, tasting me with frantic desire.

Oh boy.

I pulled away, only because I needed to breathe.

" I’m sorry. " Angel looked slightly embarrassed. " I didn’t mean to get so carried away. "

I was trying to talk, but I think Angel sucked out my tongue. Oh god, I wanted him so much I think I was going to explode if I didn’t have him. Oh god! What was I doing! I was still in a towel which had fallen away slightly. Embarrassed I pulled it back up.

" Angel." Finally! OK, I sounded a little breathless, but at least I could speak. " How long till Buffy and the others get back? "

He seemed surprised by my question. " A couple of hours, Cordelia mentioned they were going to buy some presents for you and Buffy wanted to do a quick patrol. "

Thank god. " You’re definitely sure you want to be my mate? "

" Yes. " He answered automatically. " I don’t know what I can do to….what are you doing? "

I locked the door. " You said yes. " I didn’t know why he was surprised I locked the door.

" I said yes to being your mate. I don’t…..now? NOW! You want to do the mating ritual now? "

I laughed. " Well, yes. Unless you don’t want to. " His eyes flashed amber. Oh yeah, he wanted to.

He looked on the edge of his control. " Willow, don’t you need your pack here or something for this? "

" You want them to watch? " I teased him. " No, mating is usually just between the two people alone. "

" Oh. " He seemed bothered by something.

I went to him and tried not to let the way he moved away from me hurt. " Angel, what is it? "

He took a shuddering and completely unneeded breath. Really had to ask him about the breathing thing one day. " I’m scared I’ll hurt you. "

Oh! How sweet! I couldn’t help it, really I couldn’t. I laughed. " Oh Angel. " I kissed him hard on the lips. " We’re mating, not just our souls, but our beasts as well. I’m not human, as much as you want to think I am, I’m not. You can’t hurt me, not unless I want you too. "

He looked at me.

" I couldn’t mate with a being lesser than me, I’d kill them. " I admitted. " I could have sex, but not mate. Not with someone who wasn’t strong enough to control my wolf. You can’t be afraid to hurt me, because you can’t hurt me, not like you think. My body can take all sorts of……" I flushed with embarrassment.

Now I was afraid, what if he decided he didn’t want to mate with me? It didn’t sound that attractive any more.

Angel visibly swallowed. " So I don’t have to hold back, is that what you’re saying? "

" No. " I couldn’t look him in the eye.

He shuddered.

I finally gathered the courage to look him at him. His eyes were almost black with desire. Guess I was worried for nothing. From the look he was giving me, he wasn’t bothered at all about my animalistic tendencies.

He pulled me in for a long searing kiss and I gave myself over completely to him. Maybe I should have warned him about what our mating actually entailed, but it was too late now.

Both of us were too far gone to stop.

~Part: 16~

" Are you sure I didn’t hurt you? " Angel asked me as we walked down the stairs to where everyone was getting dinner organised.

I laughed. " Angel, you didn’t hurt me. " We had to have three showers before our scents were remote enough not to cause Spike any suspicions. We weren’t ready to let our new found mateship….. or whatever you wanted to call it, public knowledge with Spike and the others. " The pack will know. " I whispered.

" They’re at the house, how will they know from there? "

I rolled my eyes. " The pack here, Angel. Cordy, Fred and Gunn. "

That stopped him. " Really? " He seemed embarrassed by it.

It took everything I had not to just hug him right there. He was so incredibly cute, not that I’d ever tell him that. You don’t tell master vampires that they were cute. " They’ll feel a stronger bond between us, and they’ll feel more touchy feely towards you. "

He gave me a goofy smile. " Why do I feel like we’re newlyweds? "

Oh. Um. " Angel, you do know what this means don’t you? "

" That we’re mates for life. " He replied.

" Yes…and that we’re married. "

" Married? " He was stunned. " You’re my wife? "

I was suddenly nervous. " I assumed you knew what it meant. Oh god Angel, I didn’t think to tell you. I’m so sorry. "

He reached out to me and pulled me into his arms. " No, Willow. I’m not upset. I’m happy, I just had no idea. "

I relaxed. " OK. " I pulled away, can’t let Buffy see me all cosy with her ex-boyfriend. Oh boy, how was Buffy going to take this new little bit of information? I vote that we keep it secret.

" Hey you two! " Cordelia yelled from the lobby. " You going to get your butts down here or what? "

" Or what. " Angel yelled back continuing down the stairs. " How was shopping? "

Cordelia rolled her eyes. " We had your credit card, how do you think shopping was? Great! Buffy and I bought the most amazing outfits. "

Angel frowned. " I thought you were supposed to buy clothes for Willow? "

" We did. " Buffy answered. " We just bought a little something for ourselves. We didn’t think you’d mind " I couldn’t believe it when Buffy pouted.

Angel shifted awkwardly. " That’s um fine. What about you guys, did you have a good time? " He directed the question more to the men of the group.

Their response was groaning. I couldn’t help but laugh. " Poor things, it must have been torture going shopping with five beautiful women. "

" Ha! " Xander snorted. " You try shopping with Cordelia and Buffy, then we’ll see who how much fun you have. "

I grabbed a slice of pizza.

" So, " Xander said between bites. " What did you two get up to while we were away? "

Bless his beautiful soul, Angel blushed.

" We talked. " I replied.

Buffy nodded approvingly, Angel told me after we mated that Buffy asked him to convince me to stay, and to talk to them about what happened. " I hope he talked some sense in you. "

" Yeah, he really nailed it into me. " I really really couldn’t resist.

Angel choked on the blood he had been drinking. I hit his back till he got his choking under control.

Xander was oblivious to what was happening. " I hope he gave it to you good. "

" Oh yeah, had me screaming for mercy. " My face was completely deadpan.

Angel didn’t choke on his blood this time, he spat it all over the floor. I was so going to get it. " Willow! "

" Ewww! Angel! " Cordelia yelled.

Angel glared at me. " Sorry, Cordelia. The bloods off. " He got up and walked into the kitchen.

Now way I was following him in there. I liked living, thank you very much.

" You and Angel seem close. " Giles commented as soon as Angel was out of the room.

I shrugged. " It’s the monster thing. We relate because of what we have inside us. I feel safe when I with him. "

Buffy took a sip of her soda. " You seem close to everyone here Will, even Gunn and Fred. I didn’t know you were here that long for you to get to know them. "

" Almost dying brings people closer together. They saved my life by taking care of me, that motes togetherness. "

I made the mistake of looking straight at Spike. His expression was unreadable, but I could tell he was watching my every move like I thought he would. I hadn’t been lying to Angel that I could take care of Spike. Even though he was a master vampire in his own right, with Angel as my mate, I could take Spike down easily. If that’s what I wanted to do.

It wasn’t.

I had to respect the fact that Angel was Spike’s grandsire, so I couldn’t just go and kill Spike. I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t make any trouble for me or my pack. I didn’t doubt for a second that Spike would find out about them.

He was William the Bloody for Christ sake.

Actually, I wouldn’t mind taking him along on an some fights with me. He’d intimidate the shit out of my opposition. I made sure that I used his and Angel’s name when I did some intimidating. You’d be surprised how many people knew about those two.

" Willow? " Angel was back and looking a little worried. His eyes went from me to Spike then back again.

Buffy noticed it too. " Don’t worry about Spike, Will. He glares at everyone. "

Spike gave me a slight grin. A smile was supposed to give me the impression I was in trouble, that he had something on me that he could use to his advantage.

If he was expecting me to quake with fear, he was going to be sorely disappointed. As much as I would have liked to let it go, I couldn’t. I was an Alpha, regardless of whether Buffy and the gang knew about it or not, I couldn’t let another Alpha….or in this case, Master intimidate me.

I gave him a similar smile, though my meaning wasn’t the same. It wasn’t me telling him he was in trouble. It was me saying bring it on.

Spike’s smile faltered.

Score one for the wolf!

** *** ***

Cordelia and Fred had me cornered, well and truly cornered. I managed to avoid everyone since dinner, I hadn’t banked on how determined the ex-cheerleader could be.

" Spill. " We were sitting out in the courtyard of the hotel. I was feeling a little caged in at the moment. It had been a little too long since I had a good run, I hadn’t even changed in a while. My wolf was getting restless and so was I.

I feigned innocence. " I don’t know what you mean. " They had picked up on something between Angel and I. In the past hour, Fred, Gunn and Cordy have been hanging around Angel, touching him more than normal. Cordelia was figuring it out.

Cordy rolled her eyes. " Please! You and Angel did it! That’s why he was all jumpy through dinner? That’s why he spat out the blood. "

" He’s my mate now. " I announced.

She squealed and hugged me. " I’m so happy for you both. Maybe now he won’t be so broody. Oh! Do you think now is a good time to ask for a pay rise? "

I laughed. " Might be, though I think he’s still a little cranky because I said some things that um, made him choke. "

All three of us giggled.

" What’s so funny? " Angel asked, Gunn right behind him.

As if he didn’t know.

" Girl talk. " Cordelia dared him to argue.

He shrugged and then sat on the ground in front of us. " Gunn knows. "

" So do the girls. " I told him. I noticed his expression was a little concerned. " Angel, what is it? "

He shook his head. " Just things getting to me I guess. "

Things? No, I think it was Spike. " I told you I could handle it. "

He nodded, not entirely happy that I wasn’t asking him to take care of it, but we both knew that Spike wouldn’t listen to him. " Any word from Joseph and Wes? "

" He was happy you’re awake. " Cordelia told me. " He wants you to call him when you’re ready to join the pack again. "

" You’re leaving? " Angel was trying his best not to sound worried, but I could tell he was.

" Not in the way you think. I will have to go and fight soon, but I’ll be back, then we’ll have to decide where I’m going to live and stuff. " I didn’t want to think about it to tell the truth, I know I couldn’t live in the hotel on a permanent basis. I needed country, air, and my pack near me. But Angel wouldn’t be able to leave the hotel…..or would he? Didn’t really matter. Either way, we’d compromise. " They need me too, Angel. If I don’t go to them, they’ll come here and Buffy will find out about them. I don’t want that. "

" But you will be back, right? " Fred sounded a little worried herself.

" I promise. You guys are pack, I can’t be away from pack for too long a period. Plus, stay away from a big yummy vampire who is incredible in…….." I stopped when Angel blushed.

Cordelia laughed. " She’ll be back.

Angel grabbed my ankle and squeezed it. " I’m going to go on a patrol with Buffy, want to come? "

" No, I just want to sit out here if that’s all right. " I told him. " Take the pack though, I want some time alone. " I wasn’t surprised when no one argued. They didn’t know it, but they were more drawn to Angel then me now that we had mated. It wasn’t a big deal that when presented with a choice, they would be go with him.

I was alone once again, and grateful. I liked having a little alone time every now and then. Gave me a chance to clear my head and make battle plans.

" Hello pet. "

Great, battle number one ready to begin.

~Part: 17~

" What can I do for you Spike? " May as well get the first, of what I predicted to be many, confrontations over with.

" Thought we’d have a little chat. Heart to heart, monster to monster. "

As much as I tried not to let it bother me, his little monster comment stung, just as he wanted it to. " Spike, the last monster I’d ever want to talk to is you, besides, there’s nothing to talk about. "

Spike sat down next to me with a predatory smile on his lips. " Now, now, pet, we both know that’s not entirely true is it? Just like we both know that you’re keeping something a secret from Buffy and her little pals. "

" I’m not hiding anything. " It was easy to sound annoyed, because I was. I got that he was one of the good guys, but he spent so much time driving everyone insane that I didn’t get how they kept him around. Or they kept from staking him.

" Pet, I could smell the lie in there. Don’t deny it, why don’t you tell Uncle Spike what’s wrong? "

A bubble of laughter escaped me. Uncle Spike? Oh god, I just had a really bad mental image. " Sorry Spike, I find the thought of confiding in you laughable. "

" Really? So why haven’t you confided in Peaches then? I asked him, said you hadn’t said anything about what happened. What’s wrong? Afraid he’d see you for what you really are? "

I was impressed, his words were calculated for a precise effect and it was working. I got the feeling I was Spike’s new toy. Someone he could torment without getting his butt kicked. His comment about me being afraid of Angel seeing me for what I really was, was true. Angel had only seen the tip of the iceberg with me, he had no idea what wolves were really like.

Spike looked at me strangely. " I don’t have a soul pet, nothing you could tell me would shock me. Despite what the nancy boy says, I’m not all bad. "

Did he just imply he wanted me to seriously confide in him? OK, that was freaky. Firstly, why would he care? Maybe it had something to do with me being Angel’s mate. Maybe it was affecting Spike in some vampire way I didn’t know about. " Spike, go away. "

" Touched a nerve did I? You may as well tell me now, you know I’ll find out. "

" Spike, let it go. "

" What did you do pet? Decide to join a pack and found yourself in a little bit of trouble? Playing in the big league isn’t as easy as you thought? "

Close, but not close enough. " Spike, I’d die before talking to you. "

Spike grabbed me and slammed me against a wall nearby, not too hard, but hard enough to cause me a little pain. His eyes widened in surprise. " Seems the chip doesn’t work on werewolves pet, you and I are going to have a little fun. "

Well, this was an interesting little development. The werewolf gene inside me changed my DNA which meant the chip in his head didn’t register me as human. " Looks like. " I agreed with him. I noticed he wasn’t holding me very tightly, just loose enough for him not to bruise me with his fingers. Guess he didn’t want to leave any evidence.

We were face to face and he thought he had the upper hand. Not only did he know I was keeping something from everyone, he could hurt me. Well…..he thought he could hurt me. I was his equal, so he could hurt and I could hurt him in return.

I was glad in a way, I hated unfair fights.

" So….." His eyes raked over me in a not so subtle way. Christ, what was he doing? Making up for all the lost time of not being to terrorise someone? " What would you do to keep me quiet pet? Don’t want Peaches or the Slayer knowing your little secret now do you? "

What the? " Spike, you don’t know my secret. "

He whispered a name into my ear and I froze. It was a name that always invoked fear. No matter what, even when I said it, my blood always turned cold. It was hard not too. What was worse, was Spike actually found out about it.

How the fuck did he know Blake? More importantly, how well?

" Figured as much. " He drawled. " So pet, how important is it for Blake not to find you? I know what he’s capable of luv. Trust me when I tell you, you don’t want him to get his hands on you…..especially someone as pretty as you. "

Oh the implication was clear. I heard a noise from inside the hotel but I didn’t bother to investigate, I needed to get a handle on my situation with Spike.

" I promise, I’ll be gentle, not like Blake. He has a tendency to be a little rough with his….er…..women. "

I laughed. " Spike, you can’t scare me with your threats. Rape and torture? Is that all you can come up with? Believe me when I say these words. " I paused so I knew he was really paying attention to me, didn’t want him to miss anything. " Been there, done that. I know what Blake is capable of, first hand. "

He let go of me and moved back fromm me as the implications of my words hit home. I’d just admitted to being raped and tortured to Spike, why the hell did he look so……so……angry. " He….."

" Raped? Tortured me? Why so shocked Spike, disappointed you didn’t get there first? " I pushed him slightly, he was stunned a little too stunned.

What was going on?

Damn it. Spike had been mouthing off, he hadn’t actually meant what he said. He wanted to fuck me, but he wouldn’t have betrayed me to Blake…... not if the look on his face was anything to go by. Shit! He was just getting his rocks off by trying to dominate me, I seriously doubted he would have done anything to me at all. He was trying to scare me but I called his bluff.

I was just trying to tell him I wasn’t scared of him, I wasn’t expecting him to react like this. He was staring at the ground shocked. OK, I still didn’t understand, why did he care? It wasn’t like he was my friend. He and I never had an association with each other, he tried to kill me a few times, but not as friend sort of thing. Not like he had going with Buffy.

I heard another noise and I looked up to the doorway. Xander, Giles, Dawn and Tara were all standing there, their faces filled with the same horror as Spike’s.

" I’m sorry pet, we didn’t know. "

Didn’t know what? What was he……" This was a set up? "

Giles nodded. " We hadn’t expected Spike to get so violent, which we’ll talk about later Spike, but we knew you were hiding something. "

" Protecting us, Will. " Xander hastened to add. " We knew you wouldn’t talk to us, and Angel was denying everything. So we had to take matters into our own hand. "

Wow I was impressed. I walked over and sat back down on the bench. " No, Spike was trying to……get me to stop him from talking. "

" Plan B. " Spike told me. " The Slayer heard Angel talking about Blake when you were unconscious. When you didn’t tell me what happened, well, I thought I’d see how you reacted to Blake and I figured you’d spill everything. "

Oh. " You’re going to tell Buffy? " It was a waste of breath just asking the question.

" Tell Buffy what? " The Slayer herself asked, appearing from behind Giles and the gang.

Damn.

~Part: 18~

Angel was currently destroying everything in sight. Buffy and Cordelia were permanently attached to my sides, holding my hand in comfort I no longer needed. I tried to explain to them what happened, but none of them were taking it very well.

Angel and Spike especially.

The two seemed united in their desire to drain the blood from Blake and torture him to death. Oh god, what a mess this was. To top it off, Angel was completely horrified because he and I made love.

" Can you please listen to me. " I pleaded again. " It happened five years ago, when I was bitten. Long time ago, I dealt with it. I’m fine, honestly. " I didn’t have much memory of it actually, Oz had been killed in front of me and it was just before I had been bitten.

God, wait until they found out I’ve been tortured a few times since then, nothing as bad, but still enough to register on my nightmare list. The last time I was tortured was six months ago, when one of my rivals tried to edge in on my territory. He was still alive, but twenty of his wolves were not. My pack kicked ass that day.

" What friends? " Buffy asked.

" Joseph? " Cordelia blurted out without thinking and I winced. So far, my secrets were pretty much becoming non-secret. Buffy didn’t know I was an Alpha and I was seriously considering telling them all. Maybe that would calm them down, but then the AI team knew and they weren’t taking it better than Buffy and the gang.
 

" Who is Joseph? " Xander wanted to know.

I sighed. " He’s a friend of mine. " He was on his way over. Angel called him and practically screamed at him to get his ass over here. I felt Joseph access the link straight after the phone conversation, making sure I was still alive. " Joseph is the one Angel called. "

" Does he know about this Blake? " Giles asked.

" Joseph knows everything. " Angel bitterly stated.

Terrific. Now Angel was jealous of Joseph. I thought it would be at least a couple of weeks before Angel began resenting Joseph. Not a couple of hours.

I wanted to cry.

Everything was out of control. I was beginning to think I really did make a mistake five years ago. Not by going on my revenge spree, but by hiding from Buffy and Angel. They may not have been able to help me, but at least things wouldn’t be as they were right now.

Completely freaked.

I gave up trying to calm Angel an hour ago, every time I did, he and Spike went on another tirade of destroying whatever they could get their hands on. They weren’t going to let Blake get away with it, I had an really bad feeling that no matter how hard I tried, none of them would let me face Blake alone.

The door to the hotel opened, admitting Joseph, looking as though he just stepped out of a biker bar. He was dressed in leather with black silk shirt.

Joseph’s eyes went straight to me. " You ok? "

" That’s Joseph? " Buffy asked in a voice that could only be described as awe.

I had to admit, he looked incredible in leather. " I’m fine. "

He scanned the room, shocked to see the state it was in. " What happened? Was it wolves? "

" No. " Giles replied, making his way to Joseph. I wanted to go to him, but Cordelia and Buffy were still holding me tight. " Angel and Spike got a little upset. "

Joseph looked back to me.

I shook my head. Nope, now was not the time to ask.

" I’m Rupert Giles. " Giles held his hand out to Joseph.

" Joseph " He shook his hand. " Pleasure to finally meet you Mr Giles, Willow told me a great deal about you. "

" Please call me Giles. "

May as well make the rest of the introductions. " Joseph, this is Xander, Tara, Dawn, Buffy and the blonde beating up the lamp is Spike. Guys, this is Joseph. "

Joseph nodded to everyone.

Angel stopped his current tirade to address Joseph. " Joseph, do you know where Blake is? "

THAT’S what he wanted him here for?

" We’re watching his pack, they’re down to forty-eight. " He said the first part of Angel and the second part to me. " We were waiting on instructions from……our Alpha before we attacked. Why? "

" Wait a minute. " Buffy let go of me. " Joseph is a werewolf too? "

I groaned.

Joseph looked from me to Angel then back to me. " They don’t know about me? " I knew he was asking if they knew about the pack.

" Nope. "

Angel ignored our conversation. " Joseph, where exactly is Blake? "

Joseph was a smart guy, he’d guess what Angel was doing. " At his lair. "

I smiled.

" Joseph. " There was a slight threat to Angel’s voice.

Now was time for me to intervene. " Angel, Joseph won’t tell you. It’s suicide going in there without a plan. "

" So we bloody make a plan then go kill him. " Spike yelled.

Buffy cleared her throat loudly. " Hello!! Is Joseph a werewolf too? "

" Yes. " Joseph informed her. " Willow, what’s going on? "

" They found out about me being tortured. " I told him.

Joseph wasn’t sure quite what to say. " Which time? "

And that was definitely NOT the thing to say.

" Which time? " Xander repeated incredulously. " As in, more than the one time with the Blake guy? "

Joseph sent me an apologetic look.

" It was only once with Blake. " I clarified. " The others were with completely different people. "

Buffy sat thoughtfully for a while. " I thought you were in Tibet for a couple of years? Was that a lie? "

Oops. " Um, well. "

" Yes. " Angel answered for me. " She was here the entire time, being tortured by god knows who……"

" Or what. " I added helpfully.

" …….not even bothering to come to us for help. "

I was in the dog house.

No pun intended.

" Willow, this is a serious matter. " Giles chastised me gently.

I was being pissy. " I know, I was there. "

" Willow! " Angel snapped.

Big mistake. Joseph flew across the room and grabbed Angel by his jacket. " Don’t you EVER speak to her like that. I don’t give a damn if you’re her mate or not. ALWAYS treat her with the respect she deserves and has earned. "

Oh crap.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed hysterically. It was either that or cry. All of it was too much.

Buffy was the first to respond. " Mate? What do you mean, mate? "

" Fuck. " Joseph swore.

I second that.

" MATE? " Spike’s voice boomed through the room. " You bloody mated with a werewolf? Are you bleedin’ nuts or just incredibly stupid? "

Xander was shell shocked. " Willow and Deadboy? "

" Deadboy? " Joseph was a little confused.

Cordelia helped him. " Xanders nickname for Angel. Spike calls him Peaches. "

" Mate? " Buffy repeated. " You’re in love with her? "

Angel struggled to find the words. " Buffy, I’m sorry. "

" He bloody well should be. " Spike fumed.

I took this opportunity to move away from the main group, their anger, fear and frustration were beginning to aggravate my wolf. The last thing we needed was me transformed in front of them. That would really be the icing on the case.

" I think we should focus on the problem at hand. " Giles stated. " Willow’s in danger from this werewolf Blake. We’ll deal with the mating between Willow and Angel later. "

Now Joseph was looking stunned. We’ve been wolves, at least powerful wolves, too long. We don’t interact with people that often, so comments like Giles were completely foreign to us. Especially the part about them ‘dealing’ with me and Angel.

" Giles is right. " Fred spoke up for the first time since the shit hit the fan. " We need to find Blake and find a way to kill him. "

" We don’t need to find him. " Angel pointed out. " Joseph knows exactly where he is. "

Spike moved beside Angel. " What do you say we do a little persuading Angel? "

Joseph stepped away from them.

I could feel it happening, the sound of blood rushing in my ears. I was beginning to lose control.

Cordelia stepped in front of Joseph. " If you so much as touch him I’ll stake you both. " She yelled. " You can’t take this out on Joseph. He hasn’t done anything. "

" That’s right. " Angel agreed. " He hasn’t done anything. How many time was she tortured Joseph? How many times did someone hurt her because of what she was? "

Joseph didn’t answer.

" Why didn’t you stop it? Save her? Do you have any comprehension of what that bastards……all of them, took from us. Willow…..she was, beautiful, innocent…….so damn pure that it tore my heart out when she disappeared. There was no one like Willow. No one more forgiving, more generous or more loving……. "

The sound in my ears drowned out the rest of Angels words. The meaning behind them cut me to my soul. He spoke about the old me as though I was dead……and in a way I was. The only problem was, Angel loved her not me. Two very different people.

I heard Joseph yell back, but I couldn’t make out the words. Was it ever going to stop?

" ENOUGH! " I screamed as loudly as I could, stunning them all into silence. " Please, just stop it. I can’t take any more. I’m sorry. I fucked up, I know that, I just want it to end. Please……no more. " I was sobbing hysterically.

Someone touched me but I pushed them away.

" Willow, it’s ok. " It was Xander who spoke.

" No it’s not. " I told him. "Nothing I can say or do will ever change what I am. Not even if I wanted to. "

I clutched my stomach as the familiar pain of transformation began. Great, all they needed was to see Wolf Willow. " Please, just let it go. "

Spike shook his head. " We can’t do that pet. "

" She’s dead ok? The Willow you know and love is dead and she’s never coming back. Deal with it. Mourn I don’t care. Just don’t think I’m her. I’m not……oh god it hurt….." I screamed as another pain of transformation hit me. " Damn it! "

Joseph was beside me now, trying to calm me down. " Don’t fight it, Will. "

" Why can’t you all just let it go? Why do you have to fight? It’s too dangerous. I can’t protect you all………oh god. " I doubled over with pain. Fighting it made it hurt like hell. " I don’t want them to see me like this. " I told Joseph desperately.

He swept me up in his arms and headed upstairs, by the time we made it to the bedroom, I was a wolf.

~Part: 19~

" Mmmmmm. "

I heard a chuckle. " You sound like you’re purring. " Joseph continued to stroke my hair. We were in bed, I was naked, he was holding me tight, fully clothed.

" What time is it? "

" Three o’clock, in the afternoon. "

God, I slept all night. " I didn’t wreck the room did I? " My mind was fuzzy from last night. I couldn’t remember anything after my outburst.

" No. You just slept next to me. "

That was unusual for me.

" You’ve been denying your wolf, Will. It’s not healthy, you know that. " He spoke gently. " How many urges have you been suppressing? "

" I’ve been feeling the need to change since I woke up. " I admitted embarrassed. It was the first rule I taught, never deny your wolf, yet here I was doing just that. The key to controlling the changes was not to deny the wolf when it really felt the desire to change. If you did, there was a chance you could lose your connection to the wolf. " I’m also feeling a little caged. "

Joseph swore. " Damn it Will. You know how dangerous it is to not change? Especially this close to the full moon. "

" I know. "

He was silent for a moment. " You wouldn’t let me leave Red, and I’m not talking about you. Your wolf was craving any attention I could give her. It killed me not to shift with you. "

" I’m sorry. "

Joseph loved to shift with me. " I’m not leaving here without you, Will. It’s too dangerous to leave you here alone with the humans. "

I sighed.

" Three days till the first night of the full moon. " He reminded me. " Besides, the pack have become too restless to handle. They need to see you alive. "

" Plus, there was the whole Blake thing. Angel and Buffy won’t let it go, they’re going to want to kill him or at least help. " I closed my eyes again. " I can’t hide from them, Joseph. "

The door opened and Angel stepped in, wearing the exact same thing he was wearing last night. He looked like he hadn’t slept. " I heard talking. "

I tightened the blankets around me. " Nothing happened, we lose our clothes when we shift. "

" It’s ok. " He assured me quickly. He sat down on the bed next to us, instinctively he reached for my hand. " I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lost it like that. "

" I’m going to have Regan train you and your team as soon as the Blake problem is taken care of. " Joseph stated. " If you talk to her like that in front of the pack, they’ll kill you. Especially now. "

" Especially now? "

Joseph stared at me, trying to gauge if I was ready to hear this. " Things have changed since you sacrificed yourself. "

Please don’t tell me there has been a revolt. " Changed how? "

He thought for a moment. " We’re stronger. More in tune to you, it’s hard to explain. " He took a deep breath. " When you sacrificed yourself, gave us your strength, we felt the bonds break completely between us. It was painful. " He shuddered.

" I felt a kind of loss, but nothing painful. " Angel commented.

Joseph smiled awkwardly. " You’re not wolf Angel, your bonds will never be as strong as ours. Except the mate bond, but that exists on a different level than the pack bonds. " He explained. " After about ten minutes, we felt the bonds re-establish. When they did, they were stronger. A lot stronger. "

Angel was alarmed. " Why didn’t you mention this to me then? "

" I thought you felt it. " Joseph looked at him. " Did you feel the bonds re-establish? "

He shook his head.

I frowned, a memory was nagging at me. " They are there though. It was the first thing I checked when I woke. "

" I guess it’s the wolf thing then. " Angel didn’t sound too happy.

" So what you’re saying is that the bonds have made you stronger? "

" Stronger, faster, more attune to you. The pack have been getting more restless the longer you’re away. I’m getting more restless. Last night was the first night I’ve had a full night sleep. " He admitted.

This was…..bad. My pack have never had trouble functioning without me. Why were we suddenly so bound? The memory of my dream with Oz struck me……had that actually been real? No. It couldn’t have been. If it had, I’d remember it all. As it was, I could barely remember what we spoke about. I could recall being asked to make a choice about something.

" I wanted to kill Angel last night when he yelled at you, if the pack had come with me like they wanted to, they would have attacked. "

Good to know something else hasn’t gone wrong. " I have to go back there tonight, Angel. "

He nodded. " What about Blake? "

Gee, don’t give me a break or anything. " Tell everyone to pack a bag. You’re all coming. " I was past fighting. Last night had taught me a valuable lesson. Denying my wolf would only harm my friends more than help them, so it was time I stopped denying it. They were going to see me for what I really was. It was the only way we could all move on from this.

Joseph waited until Angel left before talking. " Willow, are you sure? It’s three days to the full moon, we won’t hurt them, but I want you to be sure. "

" I’m done lying. "

I was gifted with a beautiful smile. " I knew it. "

" Knew what? "

" When I felt the bonds strengthen, I knew you had finally gotten over your hatred of being a werewolf. " He squeezed me. " I always knew you would eventually accept what you are and embrace it. I was a little scared after your outburst last night, that you were going to turn your back on us. "

Was that what I was doing? Had I been fighting what I was all this time without realising it? I thought about it for a long moment and the only answer I could come up with was yes.

" So, you’ve made the choice? "

I frowned at his choice of words. " Choice? "

He relaxed his hold on me. " You say you’re a wolf more than a human, but you never really mean it. I know you love us all, but we’ve always suspected that you are our Alpha because you’re more afraid of us getting hurt if you’re not. It took you a long time to love us for us. "

" I didn’t even realise, I’m so sorry. " I really was.

" I know sweetie. It’s hard for us all, adjusting. Some never really get over it, but you have. " I don’t think I’ve ever seen Joseph so happy.

What did it all mean? Was I really letting go of my human side and embracing my life as a werewolf. Did that mean I had to let go of my past with Buffy and Angel? I guess it did, in a way. I wouldn’t be able to look after them any more. They didn’t need me to.

What did it mean for Angel and I? He was already freaked by what happened to me with Blake, how was he going to react when I told him I was turning my back on my human heritage? He loved the old Willow, would he love the woman I was now? He didn’t have a choice. Even if he hated me, we’d still be compelled to be together, so we were stuck. Well and truly.

" Call home, tell the pack we’ll be there tonight. Tell them I’m bringing my mate, the Slayer and another Master vampire. Dress accordingly. "

" Dress accordingly? " He seemed shocked. " Willow, you’ll intimidate the hell out of them. "

I shrugged. " Get someone to bring me some clothes to change into, something more appropriate than what I’ve got here. We’ll need the cars anyway, get four wolves to drive around. Oh, and get them to set up two rooms for our guests. They’ll stay with us until Blake is dead. "

" So we’re going after Blake soon then? "

" Tomorrow night, tonight, I want them to get used to the pack. If Buffy and Angel are going to fight along side them, I don’t want them to freak. "

" Will, what about the other……."

Oh. " I’ll deal with it when I go home. "

He kissed my cheek before moving off the bed, he was at the door when he turned around. " You’re really not going to turn your back on us? " I could tell my outburst had him freaked, I think he was worried that if I was ever presented with an option, I’d leave.

" Never. "

At least I think if I had the choice of living a normal life with Angel or with my pack, I’d chose them.

I wasn’t sure any more.

~Part: 20~

It was past sunset when everyone was sitting in the lobby, waiting for the wolves to arrive to take them to the house. I needed some time with them to explain a few rules. Angel and his team had some experience with the pack, but that had been on his territory so to speak.

My wolves behaved like Angels…….no pun intended.

Back home, they were more animalistic. We weren’t exactly conservative with each other. We were pack, so we hid nothing. We didn’t have massive orgies or anything, but sometimes it looked like we did. Only one human has ever gone to the house and that human was there only because she had no other place to go, and I was feeling rather generous at the time. She was considered pack, but wasn’t bonded to me like the others. She left not soon after and was always our back up if we needed someone with her particular talents.

Four male wolves approached me to be her mate.

Wait till they got a look at Buffy, I was going to be bombarded.

We had laws and rules and one was when we were around or in the hospitality of non-wolves, we had to behave as was expected. But at home, our guests had to behave like WE expected.

Hence the meeting.

" We’re going to my home. " I said cryptically. " I need to explain a few things to all of you and it’s important that you listen and follow what I say to the letter. "

Joseph and I were sitting on one side of the room, and everyone else was on the other. Angel was keeping away from me which was a little upsetting. He was still freaked by what happened to me and I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get used to it.

Joseph’s hand was on my thigh and mine was on his. It was a comfort thing, he could feel me hurting still from last night. Angel and Spike weren’t taking it very well, they were both glaring at him. Well, they were glaring at him when they thought I wasn’t looking.

" If you don’t agree now, you can’t come and you won’t be able to fight Blake. I don’t give a damn what anyone says, no one will find Blake without us, so you either play along or get the hell out of here. " Calm down Rosenberg, no need to scare the shit out of everyone.

Buffy nodded. " I’m in. " So was everyone else.

Big surprise there.

" What about Dawn? " Tara asked. " This is going to be dangerous, I’m……."

" …not a child! " Dawn argued. " I’m not fifteen any more. You all were doing this sort of thing way before I was allowed to even patrol. "

I leaned into Joseph. " How many wolves can we spare for protection? " I whispered, not wanting Dawn to hear us.

" About thirty. " Joseph replied. " The wolves won’t allow Fred in battle anyway. We’ve got more than enough allies to help with the battle. As it is, we’re twice the size of Blake. "

" But he’s got Kane. " I pointed out. " You’ll be taking him on while I go after Blake, we’ll need back up. "

Angel cleared his throat in the most unsubtle manner I have ever heard.

I sighed. " Not everyone is going to be fighting Blake. Only those who are willing to take the risk. " I held up my hand stopping all of them from talking. " We’ll talk about the risk at the house, not now. Four werewolves are on their way here to take us to the house. "

" We have enough cars. " Xander pointed out.

I exchanged a look with Joseph, he fielded this question. " We can’t let you know the location of the house. Only one human who was not pack has ever been to the house, we take it very seriously. We’ll be blindfolding all of you. "

" Who was the human? " Angel was curious.

Yeah, like I was going to let that little cat out of the bag. " An ally, she’s under pack protection so no one can harm her. "

" Pack? As in werewolf Pack? " Giles seemed surprised.

I nodded. " We’re going to a werewolf lair. "

Buffy was alarmed. " Wait a minute, you’re a part of a pack? "

" In a way, yes. " I replied. " Look, Buffy, now isn’t the time for us to go into this. I can answer all your questions once we’re at the house. We have to discuss etiquette. "

" Etiquette? " Spike whined. " Bloody hell, we’re visiting dogs, not the Queen. "

Joseph glared at him. " Tip one for survival Spike, never call us dogs. It’s an insult and I won’t be able to stop them from tearing your head off. "

Way to keep them calm Joseph. " Enough, please guys. We don’t have a lot of time and I really don’t think I can deal with a repeat of last night. Here are the rules. "

Joseph squeezed my knee, before he spoke. " Always look a wolf in the eye, but be sure to break eye contact first, if you try to outstare them, they’ll take that as a challenge for dominance. "

" That goes for the humans and the Slayer only. " I continued. " Spike I recommend you stare for a while, then break contact. That way, they’ll acknowledge your dominance but won’t issue a challenge. Angel, you won’t have to worry, they’ll break eye contact first. "

" Except me. "

" Except Joseph. "

Oh yeah, Angel took that just like I would think he would. " Joseph is dominant over me? " He said in a ‘like hell he is’ voice.

" In pack circles, yes Angel. Don’t argue this Angel. The only reason you’re my mate is because Joseph talked the pack around. " I was a little suspicious about that actually, but that was for another day. " If you disrespect him the pack will reject you. "

Joseph smiled smugly which earned him a hard pinch, he shouldn’t encourage Angel’s jealousy. " We take things extremely literally, so say what you mean. " He continued. " Don’t offer something you can’t follow through. That goes for the women especially. If any wolves hit on you, come and get either Willow or myself. If you let them woo you, they may try to take you as mate. "

" We like to touch as well, so if someone walks up and put an arm around you don’t freak. It’s an insult to reject a wolf. No one will harm you, just go with the flow. They’ll also, um,…" I exchanged a look with Joseph. " smell you. "

" Smell? " Xander yelped.

" We need to know your scent. I’ll ask the pack to only smell you while you’re in human form, " I looked apologetically to Fred. " I can’t promise the same for you Fred, the wolves really like you and they’ll want to be in our natural state when they greet you. "

Joseph leaned in to me. " I’ve been approached four times already by potential mates for Fred, eight for Cordy and six for Gunn. "

I laughed. " Fred, Gunn, Cordy the pack like you guys, so I guess all of you may be greeted by us in our natural form. " Speaking of natural form, I had to tell Buffy and the guys what to expect. " Buffy, we don’t look like Oz. We look like really big wolves, like the wolves in the natural world. "

" Think national geographic. " Cordelia supplied helpfully. " And believe me, they are big. They come up to your hips and their mouths are this big. " She held her hands out to demonstrate the size.

" You’ve seen them? " Buffy wasn’t happy, all of my lies were being shown for the bullshit that they were. " Wait a minute, you said one wolf attacked you? "

" It was a pack of wolves, sort of anyway. " I felt really guilty. " I’ll tell you everything, once we’re at the house. "

" I bet Wes is going to be ecstatic he decided to go on holidays now. " Xander mused.

Four wolves entered the hotel, saving me from commenting on Wes’ MIA status. They took one look at me and bolted to the lounge where I was sitting. All of them were dressed in leather like Joseph, but didn’t looked conservative, well for us anyway. They held me close and I felt the extra power Joseph was talking about. When they touched me, it flew through me like an electric charge.

" You’re ok, Red? " One of them whispered into my ear then placed a kiss right behind it.

Whoa! We were affectionate, but that was a little demonstrative for the company I had. I opened my mouth to say something, but met Joseph’s eyes. He was watching me closely. This was what he was talking about, denying my wolf. I couldn’t deny these wolves any more than I could deny my own wolf. They trusted me to love them and to take care of them.

I felt a hand on my thigh where Joseph’s hand been earlier, and a kiss on my bare arm. The four wolves were practically crawling over me, they were all in human form. They wouldn’t transform near the slayer unless it was safe.

" It’s ok. " I heard Joseph assure Buffy and Angel. " They’re greeting her. The last time they saw her, they thought she was dead. "

I kissed the wolf closest to me on the neck. Only I was ever allowed to touch their necks like this. It was a gesture of love and trust. " I’m all right. " I kissed the other wolf near me then I was on my hands and knees, trying to get to the other two wolves I kissed one on the neck and the other on the lips. Not a long passionate kiss, but a lingering kiss. I hadn’t intended to, but her lips got in the way.

They eased off me and headed towards the other side of the room. I gasped as I saw what was happening. One after the other, they all kissed Fred, Gunn and Cordelia. They bowed slightly to Angel, and kissed behind his ear as they did with me.

" That was a customary greeting between pack members, though I don’t recommend kissing their necks like Willow did. Only someone with……..someone like Willow can kiss them like that." Joseph informed them. " Angel and Spike, don’t go anywhere near our necks. It’s because of what you are. We don’t trust you. "

Oh shit! Why did he have to go and say that! Angel gave me a meaningful look. Darn it! I practically jumped off the bed when he tried to kiss my neck when we mated. I hadn’t meant to, but my wolf was there as much as me and my wolf didn’t trust his demon.

" It’s the demon we don’t trust. " I hastily added. Why the hell did I bother? I was in deep shit with Angel anyway, what was this on top of everything else?

" Anything else we need to know? " Giles looked a little dazed.

" Speak to Willow with respect. Don’t yell at her or argue. The pack won’t tolerate it. "

" Why? "

Joseph looked to me and I gave him a look that said no. I didn’t want them to know about me being Alpha yet. " She sacrificed herself to save us, no Al….no one has ever done that for a pack. Ever. Not in the situation Willow did. The pack are extremely loyal to her. "

I wondered just how loyal Joseph was talking about. The four wolves that had arrived were now sitting with us, each one of them had a hand on me somewhere. I was beginning to think I somehow made my position a whole lot more interesting.

" OK, that’s it. I’m going upstairs, and the wolves will blindfold each of you. Buffy, Dawn and Tara, you’re in one car. Spike, Xander and Giles are in other car. Angel, Cordy, Fred and Gunn are together. "

I wanted to talk to Joseph alone and I don’t think Angel wanted to be with me.

This was going to be fun.

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