main characters: Willow, Angel
disclaimer: I do not own them
distribution: if you have permission for the previous coffee's, yes. Otherwise ask.
spoilers for S2 episode the Dark Age (with Eyghon)
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He still had no idea how she'd come up with the plan. It had been crazy, appalling, and gut wrenching, both to contemplate and to actually use. But it had worked.
He'd choked Jenny Calendar, convincing the demon inside her that she was about to die, undoubtedly half convincing the others of the same thing. That he'd snapped, gone to the dark side, and been about to kill their teacher, Giles' girlfriend. He could have, with just a bit more pressure, or if he'd given in to the temptation to taste the blood that had been pulsing right beneath his hands...
But he hadn't. He hadn't killed her, not with his hands or his teeth. The demon Eyghon had left her body, forcing it's way into his. It had left him feeling invaded, violated in a manner that left him feeling remarkably dirty, as if he needed a shower inside. But his own demon, the demon that made him a vampire, had fought Eyghon, forcing the intruder out, causing Eyghon to dissipate, banished from this world.
The looks on their faces, in their eyes... They'd seen him as a monster, a demon. As a ruthless killer who would have killed their new mentor. The fear had been almost sweet... Even Buffy had been afraid. He shuddered, hating the urges and instincts that set him apart from everyone else.
"Do you think coffee would help?" Willow's voice was soft, and from just a bit behind him. He could smell the coffee, steaming with just a hint of cinnamon.
He made a small shrug, uncertain how coffee would help. He felt violated, unclean. Not only that, but the way they had been so afraid... it had hurt. "Not afraid I'll bite? Or maybe I could choke you too..."
"I'm sorry Angel. I just... I couldn't think of anything else that might work." Willow sat beside him, holding a cup of coffee in each hand. "And I'm not afraid to sit here with you."
"You were afraid earlier." He wondered why she'd even come looking for him.
Willow sighed. "I suppose I was. But it wasn't you.. well, mostly not. I think just about anybody kicking through the wall would have been a bit scary. You can be pretty intimidating, Angel. But... I trust you."
"Maybe you shouldn't. I could have killed her, or Eyghon could have possessed me..." He let the words trail off, brooding over the events again.
Willow turned, looking at him, her eyes dark with emotions. "Angel, I have faith in you. You.. both parts of you are too strong to let some sleep walking demon thing take you over. And maybe it's too crowded anyhow. But you aren't the sort to just let go and let some ugly thing take over and push you around."
He sipped at the coffee, wincing a bit at the bitter flavor. "It wouldn't have had to be by choking her. It was... I could feel the blood, Willow. You have no idea how tempting it can be."
"That's where the trust comes in. I trust you not to hurt me, not to hurt us." She was smiling at him, her face so open, so easy to read... except that Willow's emotions were't simple.
"Maybe it's a mistake to trust me. You weren't the only person who was afraid. Buffy..." He sipped again at the coffee, feeling the cinnamon and bitterness flow down his throat. He probably shouldn't be drinking the coffee, it could make him sick. "Buffy was afraid of me tonight."
"Xander doesn't think I should trust you either. But I do." Willow moved back, sitting beside him, her body almost touching his. "Buffy was pretty upset about the whole thing. Ethan tried to make her into demon bait... Giles has a dark past that none of us expected... Everything's been turned upside down for her. I think... I hope that once she's had a little time to sort through tonight, she'll be okay."
He closed his eyes, his attention caught by Willow's heartbeat, a hint of vanilla and apples over her own personal scent... she smelled like she would be delicious. But she was his friend, and that would make it wrong, not to mention it would be wrong to feed from humans at all. She trusted him. Had anyone else had so much faith in him before?
Opening his eyes, he looked at her, offering a faint smile. "I hope you're right. And... thank you."
"For what?" Her voice held confusion.
Angel put an arm around her, giving a careful hug to avoid spilling either hot cup of coffee. "For trusting me. For looking at me and seeing more than a demon. For being... for being a friend. I don't... I don't have very many of those."
"Neither do I, Angel. And you're welcome." Her smile was bright, and tears glimmered in her eyes. "I don't have nearly enough friends to let one of them go away all hurt and upset."
Something inside of Angel shifted, almost like a small pile of stones sliding a bit, and he felt almost warm. She counted him among her friends... He had no idea how to react to that. So he just sat there, one arm around her, slowly drinking coffee. He felt a lot better now.