DISTRIBUTION: Fever of Fate, The New Place, anyone else, please ask.
SPOILERS: Pangs and I Will Remember You
RATING: R
CONTENT: Willow/Angel, implied sex, angst, tissues might be needed.
SUMMARY: Alternate ending to I Will Remember You: Instead of finding Buffy, Angel heads to Sunnydale....and Willow.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Joss'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Willow pillowed her head on her arms and sighed heavily, trying to ignore the oppressive silence in her house. Her parents had decided to attend a conference in New York over Thanksgiving, and Willow had opted for an empty house as opposed to an empty dorm.
She tried to fight off the loneliness that edged into her mind as she thought of her friends. Giles was involved in trying to figure out what exactly had de-fanged Spike; Xander and Anya were spending some quality non-syphilis time together; Buffy was in L.A.; and Oz...
She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a strangled sob as the fresh wounds concerning Oz were opened again. She let her tears slide down her face while trying not to let her pent up rage and pain loose in a primal scream. Just then a light rapping at her balcony doors tore her out of her depression. She pushed herself off the bed and walked to the doors, pulling them open swiftly and jumping back in shock as Angel stared at her.
"Angel!" she exclaimed, wiping tears from her cheeks. She narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here?" Then her mouth opened slightly and she took several steps back from the door. "Oh, God, you and Buffy...You're evil again!" she accused. Angel shook his head and stepped into her room. "I knew this would happen. I warned her about this, but did she listen...." Willow trailed off as she noticed Angel standing calmly beside her bed. "And I just remembered I never re-invited you in." She glanced out the open french doors and noticed the bright and sunny day outside. "And you were in direct sunlight and aren't flaming chunks of vampire." She meet his eyes. "Angel, what the hell is going on?"
"Willow," Angel smiled fully. Willow struggled to remember anytime she'd actually seen him smile like that. "I'm human."
"What?" she asked, not sure she heard him right.
"I am completely and permanently mortal," he replied, still grinning like an idiot.
"Okay," she whispered, not entirely certain of what that had to do with her. "And why aren't you in Buffy's arms?" He shrugged.
"Honestly, I don't know," Angel replied. "I got in the car, intending to go find her, and I ended up here. Outside your room."
"This really isn't making sense," Willow stated, shaking her head.
"You noticed that too, huh?" he commented. He stepped towards her, and she took two unconscious steps backwards. "Willow, I don't know why I came here, but there has to be a reason, right?"
"I so don't need this," she muttered. "I heave enough problems. First with Xander being Xander, and Oz leaving. Then Spike not being able to bite me, and I don't care what he said, I don't think he really wanted to. I was a substitute for Buffy; I always am." She stopped her tirade and looked up at him. "Is that why you're here? You don't trust yourself around Buffy, so you come to me?"
"Willow, no," he answered, hurrying towards her before she could back away again. "Never think that," he whispered, touching her shoulders and running his hands down her arms. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt Angel's warmth surround her.
"Angel?" she whispered; he looked down at her. "Your hands, they're warm."
"I know," he grinned, taking her hands in his. He clasped them together and brought her joined hands up to his lips. He kissed them lightly, never removing his eyes from hers.
"Angel?" Willow whispered, unconsciously moving slightly closer to him. She licked her lips nervously, her body already reacting to his warmth and the look of desire in his eyes.
"Willow," he replied, gently massaging her hands. She opened her mouth to reply, but her voice caught. Angel suddenly dropped her hands and leaned forward. His lips gently brushed hers, tenuously testing her reaction. He was pleasantly surprised when she wrapped her arms around his back, pressing herself against him. Angel wrapped his arms around her in return and deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding out and briefly touching hers before retreating back inside his mouth. Gently her tongue reached out and licked along his bottom lip, urging his mouth open. Angel let their tongues duel for several seconds before breaking the kiss and staring down at Willow. "Willow?" he asked softly.
"Angel, please," she whispered. "I need...." She trailed off, but Angel understood. He nodded in reply and reclaimed her mouth as his hands pushed her sweater up slowly, pressing warm hands against her back urging her closer. She moaned into his mouth and wiggled slightly as his erection pressed against her stomach. Angel's hands slide down to her backside and cupped her gently, pushing up on her body. She responded silently, allowing Angel to lift her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, never removing her mouth from his except for an occasional necessary breath.
Angel maneuvered the two of them away from the balcony doors and over to the bed. So intent was Angel on kissing the redhead in his arms that he failed to notice when he reached he bed. His knees impacted with the frame roughly, sending both of them sprawling onto the bed. Willow laughed softly, still clutching Angel to her.
"Not how I had this planned," he muttered, propping himself up on his knuckles and staring intently down at her.
"Planned?" she asked quietly as Angel kissed the soft flesh of her neck just under her ear. She sighed softly, arching her hips slightly at the touch of his lips.
"Planned," he whispered, nodding. He traced her jaw-line with his tongue while his one of his hand worked its way under her sweater and gently stroked her stomach. One of Willow's hands ran up and down his arm, her mind still marveling at his human-ness. The other hand followed his hand's example and outlined the smooth muscles of his back. He pressed his hips down against her body, and she arched into him, making a small sound in her throat. He grinned down at her lazily before kissing her forehead lightly. "Impatient," he growled playfully. Willow narrowed her eyes, making a demanding sound in her throat. He laughed then, removing his body from hers and standing up.
Angel pulled his black sweater over his head, revealing the expanse of his chest. His cock grew harder as he felt her burning gaze across his body.
"Willow," he whispered huskily. She nodded slightly, and Angel joined her on the bed again, reclaiming her lips. Slowly, every piece of clothing was pulled off Willow's body, and the newly bared piece of flesh was bathed in half-gentle, half-demanding kisses and bites. Finally, wanting to return some of Angel's torture back on him, Willow pushed him up onto his feet. She lowered herself to her knees, her fingers grasping at his belt. He watched her face, not sure if he should be shocked at her boldness. She slid his pants down his muscular legs, and at her insistence, he stepped out of them. He stood before her clad in only silk boxers. Willow glanced up at him, desire and arousal burning in her eyes. He nodded his approval, and she looped her fingers around the waistband of the boxer shorts. Angel groaned softly as his straining cock was exposed to the cool air.
He watched Willow with hooded eyes as she rose to her feet and backed towards the bed. A small part of him was terrified that she had decided to stop, that she would force him away. His fears were allayed though when she opened her arms. He covered the distance quickly, taking her in his arms and laying her back against the bed. He kissed her again, and Willow parted her thighs, allowing him to nestle between them. She touched the back of his head lightly, urging his eyes to meet hers. He kept her gaze as he entered her slowly. There was a slight flicker of pain in her eyes as she grew accustomed to him. They began to move as one.
Willow was soon shuddering and grasping at the sheets as her vaginal muscles clenched around his cock. She buried her head against the curve of his neck as she chanted his name until her orgasm subsided. Angel kissed her roughly as his cock twitched inside of her, spilling his seed deep within her. He leaned his forehead against hers, both of them panting. He met her eyes, afraid he was going to see regret. He was certain his eyes held enough fear to make her turn away from him.
Instead of looking away, Willow smiled brightly and cuddled against his chest.
Angel let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding and rested his head against hers. A comfortable silence descended on the pair as they cuddled together on Willow's bed. They managed to maneuver themselves under the covers and were both quite happy with the surrounding warmth.
"Willow?" Angel asked suddenly. She turned slightly to meet his eyes.
"Hmmm?" she replied.
"You got anything to eat?"
~~~~~~
The two of them sat across from each other at the Rosenberg's large oak dining table, each indulging in Thanksgiving leftovers.
"What's this again?" he asked holding up the red jelly substance on his fork.
"Cranberry sauce," she grinned.
"I like it. Gonna have to tell Cordelia to stock up," he returned her grin.
"This is very odd," Willow stated, shaking her head.
"How so?" he asked, his mouthful of cranberry sauce.
"I'm sitting with my best friend's ex, who I just had sex with--"
"Do you regret it?" Angel asked softly, staring down at the plate of food in front of him.
"Do you?" Willow whispered in reply.
"No," he shook his head, standing up and walking around the table. He knelt by her chair and took her hand in his. "Why would I regret doing something I've wanted to do since I came back?"
"Back? To Sunnydale?" Willow asked, her eyes narrowed in confusion.
"From Hell," he replied softly. "You know," he smiled softly, "I don't remember much between getting out of Hell and killing that boy -- Pete? -- but I remember two things. One was Buffy finding me, kicking my ass. The other was you." Angel gently traced the outline of her lips. "You were walking alone, reading a book. studying for a test, I think. About the Byzantine empire?" She nodded faintly, remembering. "I wanted so badly to reach out and touch you that night, make you mine. I spent most of last year wondering if things would have been different if I'd grabbed you, claimed you, made you mine, that night."
"I remember," she muttered, reaching out and touching his face. "I was terrified. I heard something in the bushes. I wasn't far from my house so I ran." He nodded in agreement.
"I wanted you so badly that night and every night afterwards. It was especially bad after your double showed up. You in that leather," he laughed. "I wanted to peel it off your body and hear you scream my name." He stroked her cheek and kissed her softly. "No, I don't regret anything." He pulled her out of her chair and into his embrace.
"I don't regret it either," she whispered, sinking into his arms. "I'm just so afraid that you'll be like Oz." He pulled back slightly and looked down at her. "I'm afraid you'll leave."
"Don't be," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I won't leave you." He stifled a yawn, causing Willow to glance up at him.
"How long have you been awake?" she asked, concern in her eyes and voice.
"Since yesterday," he replied sheepishly.
"You need sleep," she ordered.
"No," he replied.
"Yes," she stated firmly. "Resolve face!" Angel smiled at her expression of dominance but nodded his head.
"Alright, I'll go to sleep," he stated, rising to his feet. With one smooth movement he pulled Willow up into his arms. "But only if you come with me." He carried her up the stairs and into her room, depositing her giggling form on the bed. He crawled in beside her and gathered her up against him.
"Angel?" Willow asked; he raised an eyebrow in response. "I like you human," she whispered, her own body succumbing to sleep. "You're not so broody."
"I like me human too," he whispered, gently brushing a strand of hair off her face. "I like me human too." Sighing, he stretched out and fell into a deep sleep. Ten minutes alter he was roused by the shrill ringing of the phone. He lifted it gently off the receiver to keep the ringing from disturbing the redhead. Before lifting the phone to his ear, he muttered a prayer to whatever god would listen. <Do not let it be Buffy.>
"Hello?" Angel asked.
"Finally!" Cordelia's voice exclaimed from the other end of the phone.
"Cordelia?"
"It'a about time we found you. Why are you at Willow's? Shouldn't you be with Buffy?" Cordelia rattled off a series of questions so fast that Angel couldn't catch them all.
"Cordy?" Angel asked, trying to silence her. "Cordelia?" She kept talking. "Cordelia!"
"God! What?" she snapped.
"Why are you looking for me?"
"Well, you see, Doyle had this vision--"
"Cordy, give me the phone," Doyle's accented voice demanded. She must have refused, because the next thing Angel heard was a loud scuffle. Finally, Doyle asked into the phone, "You remember that demon you killed?"
"Yeah," Angel replied, his voice quiet.
"Well, you didn't. It's alive and well and killin' again."
"Can you guys handle it?" Angel asked, already knowing the answer but also remembering his promise to Willow.
"Not by ourselves," Doyle replied. Angel sighed heavily, lightly stroking Willow's cheek.
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Find me a way to kill this thing for good."
"The jewel," Cordelia commented from behind Doyle. "In the middle of its forehead. It's the things eye or something." There was stunned silence on both sides of the phone. "What?" she demanded. "I read, too, you know!" Angel shook his head.
"Be ready to fight," he stated, hanging up the phone. He glanced down at Willow and kissed her lightly, fighting back the tears stinging in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'll be back, I promise," he whispered. He rose to his feet, pulled on his clothes, and left the room by way of the balcony.
*************
Night had fallen by the time he reached L.A., and after meeting up with Doyle and Cordelia, he and the half-demon headed towards one of the salt factories on the outskirts of town.
"Why again did I have to come?" Doyle asked as he and Angel entered the abandoned factory.
"Because you had the vision, you know where we're going," he replied.
"Damn the Powers," Doyle muttered. Just then the green-skinned demon leapt off the rafters and landed in front off Angel.
"Darkness is coming," the demon hissed.
"Not this again," Angel growled, swinging the axe he held in his hands. He hit the demon on the arm, earning him a hiss of pain, but the demon soon retaliated, knocking Angel to the ground. The fight soon became too heated to distinguished between the blows, but Angel was landing on the ground, bleeding from various places, more often than not. Then the unexpected happened. A figure dressed in white and black leapt down from one of the rafters and began pummeling the demon. "The jewel," Angel managed to rasp, and the figure went into a spinning kick that caught the demon in the forehead, bursting the jewel. The demon disintegrated into a pool of green slime, and the figure turned to Angel's prone form.
"Angel?"
"Buffy," he breathed.
"He's human," Doyle stated, walking up behind her.
"What?" Buffy asked, looking down at Angel's bleeding body. "Wy didn't you tell me?" she whispered. Angel didn't reply.
"I've got him," Doyle stated, helping Angel to his feet and supporting the ex-vampire.
"Whatever," Buffy shrugged, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice at the knowledge that Angel hadn't come to her when he found out he was human.
******************
"Why did this happen?" Angel asked the two beings standing on the ornate steps.
"You have done your penance. You are being rewarded."
"I can't protect her like this," he stated.
"The Slayer does not need you to protect her."
"He does not mean the Slayer," the female commented. "I see red on his mind," she smiled.
"I need to be able to protect her," Angel whispered.
"And what do you propose we do?" the male asked.
"Make me a vampire again."
"We cannot. It is not our place," the man replied.
"Perhaps there is something," the woman stated. "Yes," her eyes lit up. "We can send time back. Erase the last twenty-four hours. You will remember but no one else." She smiled. "If you make the correct choices perhaps you can change things." Angel nodded.
"When?"
"Twenty four hours from the moment the demon appears."
"Thank you," he muttered before exiting. He glanced down at his new watch. At nine the days would switch. It was six now. He literally ran out of the post office. He had to get to Sunnydale.
He drove like a maniac, breaking every traffic law possible, but amazingly enough, he wasn't stopped. He pulled up in front of Willow's house at exactly 8:45 am. He scaled the balcony and rapped lightly on the glass. The doors were pulled roughly open to reveal an angry, tear-stained Willow.
"You," she hissed, fresh tears running down her face. He opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't force the word out. Instead he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the light. He lifted her gently and set her on the railing. He stroked her hair, her face, her arms, trying to memorize the way she looked in the morning light.
"So beautiful," he whispered.
"Angel?" Willow whispered.
"I had to go fight a demon," he explained, and she nodded in understanding. "I didn't want to leave. I don't want to leave."
"Angel? What are you talking about?" she asked, not understanding his words or why the filled her with a sense of dread. He caught sight of his watch out the corner of his eyes. 8:56.
"I could fall in love with you, Willow," he whispered, kissing her lightly. "Very easily." 8:57.
"Angel, I don't like the way you're talking," she stated. He kissed her again, lingering there. 8:58. With a suppressed sob, he pulled her into his arms. His hands stroked her back, he revealed in her scent, He didn't want to let go. He didn't want her to forget. 8:59.
He kissed her roughly, his tongue dueling with hers just as the clock struck nine and the world exploded into white light.
"....stick to the plan. Keep our distance until time has passed. Given enough time...." Buffy was talking. Buffy hadn't been on the balcony. For a second, angel was confused and almost opened his mouth to ask where Willow had gone. Then he remembered. He glanced down at his dropped clock. 9:01. "Angel? You okay?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, just the strangest sense of deja vu," he smiled but it was strained. Just then the window exploded as the Mora demon jumped into the room. With out a second thought Angel grabbed the stake he'd leveled his desk with and tossed it over his shoulder. It landed in the middle of the demon's forehead and stuck there, shattering the red jewel.
"How....?" Buffy asked. Angel just shrugged.
"Deja vu," he stated.
"Right," she nodded, before turning and walking out of the room. Angel waited until he heard the door slam behind her before collapsing bonelessly into a chair. He buried his head in his hands and wept. For himself. For Willow.
For what could have
been.
The End