Without You There

AUTHOR: Samantha McCullah

E-MAIL: snm2761@cub.uca.edu

DISTRIBUTION: Fever of Fate, The New Place, anyone else who has the first two parts

SPOILERS: Wild at Heart

RATING: PG-13

CONTENT: Willow/Angel [sort of. Willow's technically not in the fic.]

SUMMARY: Oz stops by Angel's

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Joss's. Lyrics are 'Black Balloon' by the Goo Goo Dolls.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The loud banging on the metal doors leading into Angel's apartment pulled the vampire out of a relatively peaceful sleep. He growled softly, before pushing himself to his feet, figuring that Cordelia had finally gotten tired of 'Phantom Dennis' and had returned to torture him again. He roughly yanked the door open and barely contained his shock when he saw Oz standing in the dim light of the hallway.

"Oz," Angel greeted, taking in the younger man's haggard appearance and red-rimmed eyes. "You okay?"

"Not really, no," Oz whispered, smiling weakly. "Can I come in?" he whispered, not meeting the vampire's eyes. Angel moved to the side to let the werewolf into the room. Oz walked over to the couch and collapsed bonelessly onto it. Angel studied him for several seconds, worry slowly encompassing his soul.

"Did something happen?" Angel asked, his throat clenching at the idea. <God, not Willow.> "To Buffy? O-Or Willow?" He tried to keep the despair that clouded his mind out of his voice.

** I almost fell into that hole in your life And you're not thinking about tomorrow 'Cause you were the same as me But on your knees **

"No, nothing.....fatal has happened," Oz replied quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Angel questioned, pushing back his relief over Willow's safety and concentrating on the boy. Oz remained silent and stared morosely at his hands. Angel sighed softly and walked over to the kitchen and put on a pot of tea. He busied himself with making the beverage and didn't notice Oz staring at his back.

"Willow and I...." Oz began, narrowing his eyes as Angel's back straightened at the mention of her name. "Aren't together anymore," he finished. Angel set the cup he'd been holding down in the bottom of the sink with a small clank. Joy shot through his body with those words, but he carefully reigned it in.

"What happened?"

** A thousand other boys could never reach you How could I have been the one I saw the world spin beneath you And scatter like ice from the spoon That was your womb **

"There was this female werewolf," Oz laughed bitterly. "We sorta did things." Angel stared straight ahead as a coldness filled his body.

"You cheated on her?" Angel asked, barely suppressing a snarl.

"Yeah," Oz laughed sharply. "Crazy, huh?" He looked down at his hands. "She didn't deserve this." Angel agreed with Oz silently, his body still and quiet as both his demon and his soul came to a perfect understanding; his pressed his hands against the metal of the sink and clenched his fists, trying to refrain from tearing Oz limb from limb.

** Comin' down the world turned over And angels fall without you there And I go on as you get colder Or are you someone's prayer **

"I love her," Oz whispered, still staring at his hands as tears stung his eyes.

"You hurt her," Angel hissed, keeping his back to Oz as he fought the homicidal urges rising in his mind. <He hurt Willow. _He_ hurt Willow.> His demon snarled loudly in his mind. <He _hurt_ Willow!> His soul chimed in urging him on. <He hurt _Willow_!> Angel whirled around, his demon face firmly in view. Oz looked up without fear in his eyes and stared at the vampire through his tears.

"You want to kill me," he stated calmly. Angel smirked and started towards Oz; he grabbed the boy's shirt and hauled him to his feet. Oz smiled then, face to face with all of Angel's demonic glory. "You love her."

** You know the lies they always told you And the love you never knew What's the things they never showed you That swallowed the light from the sun Inside your room **

Angel studied the boy for several seconds before dropping him back down on the sofa. The two studied each other for several seconds before Oz continued.

"She had feelings for you," he stated. Angel's head whipped around to meet Oz's eyes. "She hasn't been the same since she got back from visiting you."

"She can't possibly...."

"She does." Oz looked down at his hands. "She didn't actually tell me, but you could see it in her eyes whenever someone mentioned your name."

Angel was silent for several seconds as he studied the boy. "You're making excuses," the vampire finally commented. Oz glanced up at him and shrugged.

"Could be," he muttered.

"That still doesn't excuse what you did."

**Comin' down the world turned over And angels fall without you there And I go on as you get colder And there's no time left for losin' When you stand they fall **

"I know it doesn't," Oz whispered. "It was a bad idea to come here."

"Yes," Angel agreed. "It was." Oz turned and took several steps towards the door before Angel's voice rang out, stopping him. "What did you expect accomplish by coming here?"

"I just...." he trailed off. Oz shrugged. "You needed to know."

"So I can go comfort her?" Angel snapped.

"If you want. " Oz opened the metal door, preparing to leave. "I don't want either of you to suffer anymore."

"Too late," Angel commented.

"I know." With that, Oz left the apartment, the door clanging behind him. Angel leaned against the arm rest of the couch, trying to figure out his next move.
 
 

The End

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