Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers: AU
Couple: W/A
Rating: PG
Category: Drama? *not sure*
Summary: Read the title/Told through Willow's POV
Feedback: 'To quote a famous Sunnydale phrase...Duh!' -Spike
Dedication: My Childer (Dru, Myst, Angel) My beta's (Gem and Witch Vamp) My Family (The Immortal Family *you know who you all are*)
Authorette's Notes: W/O or W/T never happened
Authorette's Notes 2: Don't ask me where the h*ll this came from because I honestly don't know. I just started writing and you have the finished product.
Authorette's Notes 3: This isn't beta-ed. All mistakes are mine.
Distribution: FmNbLe (Fang's Fiction)
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Have you ever just wondered when and where you lost control of your life? One minute you're in control and the next, you're not. It's almost as if someone else has taken complete control and you don't know by who or when it happened. You just know that you're life was taken over. And once you realize that someone has taken over, you realize that it maybe way too late for you to take control back. You don't know when you lost it, but yet you know how to get it back, even though you're unsure if it's the right way.
I don't know when it happened, but I know that it did. I lost all control of my life the moment he walked through the door and after one thing led to another, he was all I saw in my dreams. He was all I could feel, see, touch, yearn for, think about, and he was everything that made me want to exist. He was all that i lived for inside of my heart, head, mind, soul, and body. He was the reason i continued my meaningless life, yet, did he ever notice me? No. He never paid attention to me nor did he ever care about what I thought. he thought that it was all about him and yet, that was what caused us to go our separate ways.
I still think about him. I wonder what it would have been like to have him in my arms as we made love and I wonder what it would be like to hear the words 'I love you' come from his mouth. But he had to ruin that, didn't he? He had to ignore me anytime I told him I loved him and he had to leave me, and go back to her. When he left me, he took every part of me with him. He took my heart, my soul, my mind...he took it all with him and I doubt if he even cares one damn bit. He is probably back in LA, laughing at the mess he left behind. But now as I sit here and think about it, I'm glad he left me. because now...now i can move on and I can focus only on me. I don't have to worry about anyone else nor do I have to care what others think about me. I am just me and I am damn proud of who I am now.
If you're wondering who I am, I'll tell you. I am Willow Rosenburg, 20-year-old girl who doesn't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about her anymore. I don't need him, I don't need another relationship, I don't need anyone but my friends. With them, I can and I will survive. I have always thought that if you can't trust yourself before going into a relationship, how do you trust the other person? How can you put all you are into that relationship if you don't know who you are? You can't possibly do it because you don't know who you are.
If there was one thing I could redo in my life, I wouldn't change a thing. Why? Why change anything when the activities in which you have done have made you who you are? I am who I am now because I dated him and he left me. That was his choice and now I have mine. With or without my Angel, I am still the person I am now. I am no longer fragile, nor am I still a pathetic child. He couldn't see me for me, so therefore, he doesn't need to know who or what I truly am. To him, I am just a child. To me, I am Willow Rosenburg.
The End