****************

Dedication: This is for Danielle, Happy Friendship Anniversary! I love you and
always will. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Love & Light.

****************
 
 
 

Agony. It was the only word that could describe how he felt.
The Slayer stood in front of him, a sword in her hand, confusion in her
eyes.
A confusion that couldn't be matched with his own.
He felt like waking from a nightmare. When you don't know what's real and
what's dream.
The only real thing was the woman in his arms, her warm body, her sweet
perfume, even her tears on his shoulder.
She was kissing him and it was all he craved. She was saying that she loved
him and to him closes his eyes. He did it and felt the pleasure to be kissed by
her again and then... then came the pain. The bewilderment. Her eyes that
couldn't meet his own, the sadness in her face. More pain through his chest,
his hand held out to her, but she didn't grab it, she retreated. Darkness
surrounded him.

*************************

All those scared faces, the pleas, the tears and the lack of life.
He had caused all that pain; it was a logical thing that he was feeling his
victim's emotions. Some would call it payback, divine justice, whatever. If
only they could stop screaming, it had been happening for so long that he lost
track of time. It ceased to exist, days, hours, minutes were gone. The only
constants things he could count in were guilt and pain.
He was nothing, humanity was leaving him. He could feel the beast taking
his being. He couldn't cry anymore or screams for the voices to stop, only
guttural sounds came from him. Ashamed of it, he went silent. Even when the
invisible whip hit his body he did stay silent. The smell of him skin being
burned made him nauseous. But that wasn't the worst part. When he was allowed
to sleep was the time when the true torture did began.

**********************

She was young and beautiful, that was all he knew about her. Surely she
wasn't one of his victims for he had never seen her before. But she came to him
every time he fell asleep. The first time she came he waited for her screams,
but they didn't come, instead she smiled to him and dried the sweat of his
forehead with a handkerchief that smelt like jasmine. He tried to ask who she
was, but she put her hand over his mouth impending him to continue. She sat on
the dirty ground, although it didn't affect her white gown, and made him put
his head on her lap.

"Sleep". She said.
And she started singing a song that his mother always sang to him.

************************

He woke up felling good, so good that he forgot where he was. He smiled at
the sweet memories of his mother. He had dreamed of her, he was a little boy
and she was tucking him in bed. She said that she loved him and he felt so safe
as he never had in his whole life.

But it wasn't reality. The pain, the heat, the screams, those were his
reality now, and would be forever.

He was angry, the woman wasn't anywhere around, he was pretty sure she was
only a part of his dream when he saw a handkerchief.

"Good, I'm not crazy *yet*"

The shadow-like creatures took him, the torture would begin.

*************************

He refused to sleep. He had to wait for her. She would come to him and make
the pain go away.

"Angelus, you should be resting."

He turned to the voice, but she was surrounded by light, she was the only
spot of light in the darkness. He felt all the other forms around him wincing
and escaping from the light, that he craved so much. He couldn't see her face.

"Who are you? What are you doing here, you don't belong here."

"I'm here to help you. You have a mission and I have to instruct you. If
you accept it."

"What's this mission?"

"We need you. You can be useful in the world. You can help people. Fight
the darkness and get redemption."

"And what's your role in this?"

"I have to tell you the history of my life and pray that it inspires you."

"Well, it's not like I'm running out of time."

"It's hard to me to talk about that. So please, wait till I'm finished to
ask whatever you want."

He nodded his head in agreement with her.

"I died young. I was twenty years old when I killed myself." She observed
his reaction. "I have a gift, I'm a Seer. The irony is that I couldn't stand it
and decided to end my life so I would be free of those visions. But guess what?
I still have them." She smiled to him. But he was not sure that she was seeing
him.

"I could see how people were going to die. It was a very hard burden. You
can't say to a person who you never saw before: "Hey, don't get into the car
'cause you're going to have an accident and die." I was afraid people say I was
crazy. And I fought against this gift as hard as I could. I did pretend that it
didn't exist, what only made the visions come to me every night. I had no one
to talk to about it. Until one day I found people to share it with. One of them
lived near to me and another one on the other side of the globe. I knew that
they loved me. I had my family. But the pain was too great, I couldn't make it."

She was crying, then he took her in his arms and started to make shushing
sounds.

"It seemed so right. You know? I thought it was the only way out. After I
passed away I woke up in a strange place. And after being told about what
happened to me and how wrong what I had done was, I received a purpose, for my
soul be free I should help someone to achieve redemption. You Angelus, I have
to guide you through the path of finding the light."

She untangled herself from his arms.

"Do you have any question?"

"No. Not now, maybe later after you calm down."

She smiled, touched by his concern.

"Right now I just have one question. What's your name?"

"Danielle. My friends used to call me D."

**********************************

Angel hadn't said it aloud but he had made his mind already, he would help,
he would fight. And the instant he took his decision, the tortures were gone.
The shadow-like creatures were around him, but they didn't touch him. But they
made their intentions known, they would be around, waiting, for his failure.
The only time they weren't close to him was when Danielle would come. And
when she arrived they talked for hours.

"How is it like?"

"What?"

"Be able to see."

She smiled to him and gave him a playfully blow in the arm.
"You can see, what kind of question is this?"

"You know what I mean. To see peoples' future."

Her smile faded away and her eyes reflected the pain she felt. She dropped
her head.
"You don't want to know that. *Believe me*."

<Great Angel. You know how to make it hurts.> He was about to tell her to
forget the question but changed his mind, maybe if she talked he would feel
better.
"What happens? What do you feel? Can you control it?"

"It's more than see what's going to happen. I feel what they're feeling.
There's so much pain.... " Her eyes gone vacant and before she got lost in her
own world of pain he tugged her from it.

"Did you warn people you had visions about?"

"I did it, once or twice. But having people tell you you're crazy? Not
good". She grimaced. "Anyway they decided to ignore my warnings. After a while
I gave up."

Seeing pain still in her eyes he dropped the subject.

"When Am I going to go back?"

"When you get ready for it."

"I'm ready."

"No. You *think* you are." She smiled at him. "You don't even know what
you're going to do. Or why the things you did lead you here."

"I'm here 'cause I tried to end the world. It seems like a good reason." He
looked away from her, he felt ashamed.

"And it happened because...."

"I lost my soul."

"Because...."

"Buffy and I....You know."

She ignored his uneasy look.

"I know. But I want to hear it from you."

"We made love. It broke the curse."

"Why her?"

Surprised by her question he snapped.

"I love her."

"Are you sure about that? What do you love about her?"

"I don't know. I love her for who she is. Why do you love someone?"

"You didn't fall you love with *her*. You fell for the person you wished
she was. You know what I mean?"

"I'm not sure."

"It wasn't about her, but what she represents to you. Wanna tell me what
that is?"

"Light. She's the strength that prevents the darkness to take over."

"That's what you think she is? Light?"

"Yes."

"I'm not saying that you're wrong, but you're not completely right either.
The light you see, it doesn't come all from her. It's a reflection. The
slayer has darkness in her."

"How do you dare..."

"Shut up, Angelus! There's darkness in her power, that's the reason why the
Council sometimes has to eliminate the Slayer. They lose control over her dark
side. It happened before and if you don't interfere it will happen again. With
her and with the other who's about to come."

"That's why I have to come back? To not let her fail? But how?"

"You know how it is, to have darkness within and fight it. I know it's not
going to be easy at all, but you'll have help."

"Are you going to help me?"

"I can't go with you after you leave here. I don't have permission to do so
yet. I'm not ready for the physical world, they say."

"Are you kidding? Who is going to help me?"

"The one whose light reflects upon the slayer."

"And who is this?"

"That's what you'll have to find out. And there's more one thing. The
reason why you felt so quickly for the slayer was 'cause of her looks. You
didn't use your ability to see people beyond what they look like. She's pretty,
you felt attracted by her and wasn't able to see where did the real light come
from. You had to see beyond appearance, but you didn't. You're caught by the
obvious. That's why this time you'll have to learn to see with the vision that
comes from here." With that she paused her hand over his chest.

"There's nothing in there."

"That's not true. There's a lot in there, listen to it." She took his hand.
"It's time already. You have to go."

****************************************************

He was falling fast. She was by his side guiding him. Until she looked him
in the eyes.

"I can't pass from here. See you in your dreams." She let go of his hand.

He was falling faster. Then he hit the ground. He opened his eyes to see
where he was.

Nothing.

He put his hands over the eyes. They were open. Why he couldn't see then?
 

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